#i would've included the second half of that last quote too if it fit better

[comingoutofthecauldron]

sydney carton never made a bad track. i wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul? BANGER. you kindled me, heap of ashes that i am, into fire? SLAPS. think now and then that there is a man who would give his life to keep a life you love beside you? emotionally and sonically RICH. don't even get me STARTED on i am like one who died young

[moonlightchris]

𝕾𝖎𝖒𝖕 𝕾𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞

🌕 𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓

~~~

To my wonderful friends, family, & others...

This is going to be long as fuck. Chan speak less challenge

Haneul, I'll never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done and continue to do for me always. It used to feel wrong, really, to have you care so much. Worry so much. Help so much. I always thought I should be able to do things alone. Move on my own. Heal on my own. I always thought that it was my job to be there for others, not burden them. I never allowed myself to ask for help because it felt as if I was weak, incapable. Deep down, I was afraid of doing so. I was afraid of letting people in. I was afraid of letting people help because that would mean showing them everything wrong. And who could trust me once they found out how fucked up I was? Who could love me? But you showed me how wrong I was. You taught me that one of the bravest things I could ever do was asking for help. Allowing myself to hurt and heal, and not do it alone. You continue to remind me everyday how much I am worth, how capable of receiving and giving love I am. You stay by my side no matter how many times I screw up, and that means the absolute world to me. To welcome you into my life is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I promise to keep working hard for you. For us. I love you forever, and I thank you wholeheartedly for everything.

Jihyo, even though you're not here anymore, it would be wrong to just erase you like that. I probably should've said all of this before, I should've let you know how much you meant to me, how much I loved you. I fucking genuinely loved you. I love you. And I probably will always, because what I feel for you doesn't just die out. I know I screwed up, I know I pushed you away, I know I couldn't be there for you, and I'm sorry. I will always be sorry. Because you deserved so much more. When I told you I would've dropped everything for you, I meant it. Have you just told me, I would've done things differently. And I will always regret not having been able to give us a chance. Not having acted sooner. Not having spoken up when I could have. I know you loved me just as much, and I'm sorry I put you through that, because I know loving me hurt you, and I never wanted to cause you any pain. I guess some things just aren't meant to be, but that doesn't make it less shitty, hm? I miss you. I've been missing you for a while now, but it was better to part ways. And now you're entirely gone, once again you slipped right in between my fingers. But its ok, I'm letting you go. I'm setting you free now. I promised I wouldn't go away, and that was a shitty thing to do because maybe you needed me to. I'm sorry for all the pain, all the hurt, all the tears. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. And wherever you are now, I hope you can find the calm you so badly craved. The peace of mind and the love you deserve.

My pack, my wonderful pack. The boys that have watched my back more than I've watched theirs. The boys that have carried me through some of my darkest times. I won't ever have enough words to thank you. Thank you for choosing me. Trusting me. Giving me the chance to give you a home, a family. Accepting me as I am, accepting me as a whole with everyone and everything that I love. I'll be forever grateful to have you.

Yeji, Chae & Chae, you're really something else, hm? The three of you with your own particularities. The way you care, the way you're always there, the way you've always the right things to say. The way you love. It is heart warming, really, how selfless you are. There's not been one time in which you haven't been there for me. And I promise you I'll always be there for you too.

When I sat down to create the family list, i thought hard. Really really hard. What is family, right? Because, family it's not only about blood bond. It's not about having been born from the same parents or sharing uncles. It's not just being the same family tree. And so I thought, what are reason to add these three wonderful girls into my family? And then it hit me that there's not a single definition for it. That family is such a complex concept.

Yeji, you have showed to be an exceptional friend over and over. The fact that we started talking over a sex joke it's quite amusing, too. And now look how far we've made it. I don't think I'm half of the crackhead I'm with you with anyone else. You don't need me at all. Not as I'm used to being needed, at least. And that eases me so much. That liberates me of so many responsibilities while around you. You are a safe place, and I hope I can be the same to you at some point.

P. Chae, even though we haven't really spoken much privately or alone, I can't help but consider you family for another number of reasons. You're just always there, y'know? You've always been. Somehow you got under our skin. all of us, including admin. You're probably one of the weirdest people I've ever had the chance to meet, but it's ok because that makes you YOU and I love it. There's never a sad time when around you. You lift everyone's mood so fast, always. You're loving and caring in your own especial way. I'll never forget the first time you messaged me, either. You were so worried about Haneullie that day, apologizing so much for bothering but at the same time urging me to check on her. I told it was ok even though I was quite busy, but it didn't matter because you are her beat friend, right? And if you come at me freaking out over my little sis I'll drop everything in a second. It was heart warming, really, and since then I've never not once doubted your heart.

S. Chae, you're one of the most caring, selfless, loving, wonderful, unique people I've ever had the luck to cross paths with in my entire life. You're always there. No matter what's going on, you're always there. There with your hearts that put a smile on my face, there with your quotes that make me rethink my day, there with your love that makes me feel like I'm not alone, there with your horny ass that makes me feel validated, there with your gentle words that make me realize that its ok to breakdown sometimes. You're always there, even though we haven't been there for you enough. Even though I haven't. You care to an extent only you can, and that's fascinating. Thank you for everything you do.

The three of you, girls, mean so much to me. So so much. And I promise you I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, any time at all, whatever it is. I promise I'll be here.

Lix, shit, what is there to tell you that I haven't done already? What is there to tell you that is proper for the dash, hm? I think it's been little times in my life that I've felt so... Disconnected of everything. But at the same time so grounded and connected to someone. Whenever I'm with you, Lixie, I forget the world around. I forget everything. Forget my problems, and my achievements, forget where I am and who I am. I forget everything and all I know is that right there, in that moment with you, I'm all yours. And I would do absolutely anything you asked me just to see you smile, to hear you laugh. When I'm with you, nothing else matters. And nothing makes sense but at the same time my mind is so clear, everything is so clear, so obvious. So obvious that I belong to you and you belong to me. You pull me out of whatever hole I'm in and bring me back to the surface, you are my sun, my moon, my stars, my galaxies. You're a universe on your own and I can't help but want you all to myself. And that's fucking scary. But somehow so exciting. You give me faith. Faith in myself, in my future. You make me feel like there is a chance, and you know what? If there is one, even if it's my last one, I want to spend it on you. With you. I want you to be my chance. And l will work hard for it. Because I'm not willing to lose you, Lix. I'm not.

Sanie & Woongie, I have so many things to apologize for. I'm sorry for not putting enough effort. I'm sorry for not being there enough. I'm sorry for those days I lack words. I'm sorry for those times I can only offer cuddles. I'm sorry for not being able to help as I should. I'm sorry for not being what you need. I'm sorry for just not being. And I know you don't believe that's true, I know you don't think I lack, but the truth is that I can't help the way I feel inside. And I know you can't either. I know you can't help it when you're sad, when you think you're not enough. I know you can't help it when you feel you're letting people down. I know you can't help it when you feel you're not worthy, when you feel like you don't matter. But you know what I do believe? That we deserve better. I do believe that we're strong, capable. I do believe that we'll make it out and I do believe that we will be ok. I believe in us. I believe in you. And I promise you that I will work hard to make you believe it too. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. It doesn't matter how much you say you think you're a bother. It doesn't matter how much you think you're making me upset. It doesn't matter because I will hold you tight and I will not let you go. Things do get better, we just need to wait a little longer.

Last but not least, my beautiful babygirl, my princess, my little girl. I love you so so so much, did you know that? Caimie, my precious little sunshine, I would move mountains for you. Split oceans in half. I would bring down the moon for you, catch all the stars in a jar for you so you have your own sky in your room. I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me. I don't think you're aware of the power you hold. I love everything about you, from the way you get flustered and blush at the tiniest things I do to the way you smile so genuinely at my stories about work. I love the way you climb on my lap whenever we cuddle because that's your favorite spot. I love the way you rest your head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. I love the way your hand fits in mine, and I love the way your lips feel in mines too. I love your soft touches, I love your small whimpers, I love your pretty moans. I love how one second you're screaming about how cute your doll in Animal Crossing looks and next second you're being a crackhead on the dash. I love taking care of you, telling you to go to bed, reminding you to drink water, calling you out when you're not paying attention in class. You are and will always be my little baby. And whoever wants to get with you will have to go over me first because I'm bit giving you away to the first fucker who thinks they've got a chance. I love you, princess. Forever.

—

Tags (hmu for removal:])

Those who are like family:

@shinhaneul-oc @bunjihyo @illuminated-skz @princess-yeji @mafia-chaeyoung @hunter-chaeyoung @skz-cb @babie-sanie @bunny-woong @caimchris

[domliddle]

Potentially Great Albums. Eric B & Rakim - Follow the Leader

"Follow The Leader", Eric B & Rakim's 1988 second coming, is not a good album.

The duo had four albums before they went their separate ways - while most agree that "Paid in Full" was their magnum opus, from there it gets a bit more difficult. The other three have their own great parts, and their own flaws. Both "Let the Rhythm Hit 'Em" (1990) and "Don't Sweat The Technique" (1992) had broad underlying themes both musically and lyrically. They were demonstrably different from the duo's other works, and polar opposites of each other; there was a sense of artistic development in both cases without sacrificing their own consistency.

Therefore, Follow The Leader is recognisable as somewhat of a transitional album, sitting comfortably between the duo's debut and the more mysterious yet aggressive "Let the Rhythm Hit 'Em".

So why is it still loved, even quoted by some as an improvement on Paid in Full?

As it starts with the title track (Follow the Leader, obviously), it's plain to see that they are both in their prime; the beat is magnificent and perfectly fits Rakim's umpteen brilliant lines. This is where any doubts were dispelled. From there, we go straight into "Microphone Fiend"; a brilliant song that caters perfectly to Rakim's lyrical strengths. It employs a broad theme that allows him to deviate from braggadocio and metaphor into something more, without seeming forced. The beat is also perfect, different to the opener and employing a rhythm that allows Rakim to twist his words around it in different ways. "Lyrics of Fury" is the third track in a row to be one of their most praised; a raw, simple breakbeat that Rakim destroys.

So what's the problem? Well, from here, it falls off a cliff.

"Eric B. Never Scared" is nothing out of the ordinary. A good DJ interlude over a good beat. The problem is that it's over 5 minutes long - aside from the title track, the longest of the lot. Eric B's showcases are, at first, an important part of he and Rakim's albums. However, the track becomes repetitive at, if I'm being generous, 3 minutes in.

It gets worse though. I would contend that "Just a Beat" is the absolute worst song across the duo's entire work. It is simply Eric B, warped voice and all for some reason, talking nonsense before a nice beat comes in. His warped voice then reminds you that it's "a beat", in case you hadn't worked that out, and continues to do so throughout the whole thing. Thankfully, it's a bit shorter than the previous one.

"Put Your Hands Together" is strange. It begins with a minute-long piano piece - one that is actually great, but at odds with the rest of the album, and serves to needlessly drag the song out. When the actual thing starts, it's good - nothing surprising, simply Rakim rhyming over a good, stripped-down funky beat about how great he is in front of a crowd.

"To The Listeners" begins with a pretty awful beat, and someone whispering repeatedly about how it's "To The Listeners" and not the people smelling or tasting the album. Rakim's alright on this, but nothing more. In fact, he sometimes sounds off-beat, and raps too slowly to mesh with it.

"No Competition" is a good song. Not bad at all, and more braggadocio over a faster beat that sounds like Follow the Leader's little brother. "The R" is a song that I've never got - apparently ghost-produced by Mark the 45 King, so expectations are high. It's not bad, but clashes musically with the rest of the album, and Rakim himself. Compared to how raw the rest of the beats sound, it almost dominates the song - not catering to Rakim's strengths.

"Musical Massacre" is also great - probably the best of the lot aside from the opening 3 tracks. There's no unique theme lyrically, and the beat is fast and raw - fitting with much of the album's high points.

The ending is what saves the album. Actually, no it's not - it's the instrumental version of the worst beat on the album, appropriately titled "Beats for the Listeners". I wouldn't even have this as a bonus track.

So, judging from the above, not a great album. But I believe something great could have been made from what's there. So let's rearrange things.

Other opinions are available.

1: To The Listeners - cut down

I have to include this song. Therefore, let's begin by cutting the opening loop (and whispering) down - it's not really a song that needs to showcase the beat. Have one 4-bar loop, before Rakim comes in, and one verse - perhaps the actual opening one, or picking at lines that suit a broad, introductory song. Either way, as a stripped-down, slow interlude of a song, it's better placed to open the album.

2: The R - Extended Remix - cut down

Like I said, "The R" wasn't my favourite song on the album. However, I believe the 45 King's extended remix is a perfect opener after the intro. Strip down the opening part a bit, and cut straight after the "what happened to peace?" sample, and you have a good song. The rest of it can come later...

3: Musical Massacre

My main problem with "Follow the Leader" is that it promises so much - I don't think I've ever seen an album of any genre quite so frontloaded. Therefore, "Musical Massacre" is the perfect follow-up; different to the previous vibes, switching it up without giving away the absolute best. A fast, frenetic display that shows the variety on board. I imagine this as best with "The R"'s ending sample cutting straight into this without a beat.

4: No Competition

Same principle as the previous one - great without being the best.

5: Microphone Fiend

It's now necessary to deviate from the two similarly-minded songs, and at the same time throw one of the duo's best moments in. So here it is. Perfectly placed to break up the album.

6: Put Your Hands Together - cut down

The piano bit needs to go, unfortunately. But it's a smooth song that follows "Microphone Fiend" relatively well, not being too jarring.

7: Eric B. Never Scared - cut down

Well, obviously. Cut it down to 1:30 at the absolute max, and you have an interlude to break up the album. Take it simply as that, and instead of a bad song, you have a good buffer between the previous two relatively smooth tracks and...

8: Lyrics of Fury

One of the album's three great openers. Placed perfectly to remind any of the listeners how great the duo really is, in case they'd forgotten.

9: The R - Extended Remix

Another musical interlude. I love musical interludes. "Paid in Full" was helped a great deal by how Eric B's showcases broke up Rakim's - I would argue that one isn't enough on here. Technically there are 3 musical interludes on the album, but let's forget those exist. Cut in after the first half of the song cuts - starting with "Peace!", and it serves the purpose of giving the album a start-to-end correlation. It would also need to be cut down towards the end.

10: Just a Beat - with a rapper

Picture that. Who'd put Rakim on an Eric B. beat? Ridiculous. I think the levity of the song would at least allow for a grand verse or two from Rakim, broken up with scratching on the start and end.

11: Follow the Leader

To me, this is the perfect end to the album. It's a fantastic song, but one which is best suited to a roaring conclusion. In the end, the listener's last impression becomes that of the duo at their peak. Somewhat different to the quiet fart that is "Beats for the Listeners".

Ok, I understand - creative decisions are a small part of an album's tracklist. Record companies will obviously prefer an album frontloaded with the album's prime cuts. For me to argue that the above would make a better album is not only a matter of opinion, but also entirely moot. Granted, telling the reader that the article is moot at the end is the written "Beats for the Listeners (For the Readers - lolz)". But the great album was in there - with this minor shuffle, I feel that the album stands up as well as Eric B. & Rakim's others.

Disagree? Let me know in the comments below. Oh hang on, nobody's reading this. Don't let me know, then. Keep it all bottled up until years later you go on a blind date and vent to them about how "Beats for the Listeners" is actually a masterpiece.

Bonus Rubbish

- The Piano part of "Put Your Hands Together" could potentially serve as the backbone of a great song in its own right. As long as the mixing was right (as in, not Rakim being drowned out), and the rest of the song was similarly grand, it could serve as a great centrepiece for the album.

- Another thing that "Follow the Leader" would've benefitted from is a thematic song. The duo's other albums always have at least one track that steps out of braggadocio, keeping things relatively fresh. "Paid in Full" had the title track, "Let the Rhythm Hit Em" had a few, and "Don't Sweat the Technique" had a couple. The closest one is "Microphone Fiend" - a brilliant track, obviously, but one that doesn't deviate from Rakim being a good rapper. Said theme would only need to be broad, but it would help make the album seem less dry and repetitive.

- There's a great history of labels forcing changes and cuts to a song in order to make it suitable for single release. So here's where the original version of "The R" comes in - quite mainstream, grander-sounding than the other tracks, and a good introduction to the group. If you buy it and are interested, the real version's on the album.