#i would say go play squirrel stapler but.

[valentinos-corner]

thinkin bout a dream I had a few days ago

I was playing Creatures of Sonaria (with the same map as the last time I dreamed about it, by the way. Spooky) and suddenly a message similar to the one from Squirrel Stapler appeared onscreen saying that GOD IS COMING. If you didn't get to one of the two 'holy zones' in under a minute, you would be struck down with holy lightning and die. If you got there in time, you were given a weird little creature called a Sharapoof that looked like a cross between a dolphin and a raptor. However, since in all my video game dreams I am the character, I was in genuine danger and had to go back to the menu because I couldn't get to a holy zone in time and I didn't want to die and it was genuinely terrifying

the Sharapoof was the highlight

I should probably draw it

[shirtlesssammy]

14x20: Moriah

The Road So Far:

How is Team Free Will 2.0 ever going to beat Michael, the Big Bad of the season?

Now:

We open right where we left off last week. Jack escaped the Ma’lak box by blowing it to smithereens, and took most of the bunker’s storage room with it. “You lied to me.” And then he blasts Team Free Will before flapping off.

The guys assess the damage and discuss Jack. And by discuss, I mean Dean and Cas continue to fight about their differing parenting choices. Dean wants to kill their son; Cas wants to save their son. Quite frankly, it’s obvious their therapist is done with it all. And by therapist, I mean Sam. #prayforSam. (I particularly liked the last bit of the fight when Dean had to walk closer to Cas then he already was, and Cas had to clip Dean’s shoulder as he walked away.)

Sam and Dean continue to discuss the plan for Jack. Dean insists they have to find him and “do the hard thing.” They have to kill him. Sam is visibly upset by the prospect.

Jack, meanwhile, is wandering around a city, listening to people lie to everyone around them. I particularly liked the lines that were filler for the lines that we were supposed to pay attention to:

“You should have seen it. I caught a steelhead this big.”

“I saw ‘em at Coachella last year!”

“That’s not porn. I don’t know what that was.”

Jack flashes his gold eyes and commands everyone to stop lying. This is going to solve all the world’s problems! (Sidenote: I liked this post by @eveiswaywardaf)

Sam and Dean pull up to a company called Mirror Universe. Ahem. Sam’s on the phone with Rowena (oooOOOOooo) --she’s in on their little plan.

The brothers head inside to hopefully use the company’s facial recognition program to locate Jack.

Dean calls the whole room nerds, but Sam calls him out on that bit of hypocrisy. DEAN WATCHES JEOPARDY!, guys! (ofc, he does.) Dean tries flashing his FBI badge at the receptionist, but instead of giving a fake name and reason for being there, he spills the truth.

Oh, it seems Jack’s truth command works on everyone everywhere. Dean tests the situation by asking Sam who his favorite singer is and Sam responds, “Celine Dion.” Oh Sam, Vince Vincente (and Balthazar) are very disappointed in you right now. Dean tells Sam that they can’t lie.

Then, all hell breaks loose in the company. I mean, what show are we even watching? (iloveitwithallmyheartandamnotsurewhatiamgoingtodowithoutit) The brothers escape to an empty room. There’s a TV broadcasting the news that the president spilled his tax history, deep ties to Russia and North Korea, and a “demon deal” with Crowley. Out of context, this might be my favorite part of the episode. I mean, the absolute shade! I can’t think of another show I watch doing this --especially one with a conservative audience like we know Supernatural has. In any event, the brothers quickly put it together that Jack’s behind it all.

And then we’re gifted with my favorite part in context (if that’s possible):

THE STAPLER QUEEN!

Cut to Cas in the alley trying to get access to Hell. The demon monitoring the door won’t let him him. Blerg.

For I’m Going to Hell Science:

But Chuck shows up! Uh-oh. He says he’s here because Cas called him, and “him.” Jack’s a problem.

Jack shows up at his grandmother’s place.

The poor lost cause wants to talk about Kelly. (bby boy, you’re so creepy rn.) She’s visibly upset and tells him that they made phone calls and no one knows who he is, and that others think that Kelly is dead. “What did you do to my daughter?!” Agh, her screaming makes Jack get angry and he demands that she stop (so much like his other grandmother...AUGH). The next shot we see is Jack fleeing from the house. Oh dear.

Meanwhile, Dean’s living his best life NOT lying and talking about the parenting blog he follows. MY HEART. Cas and Chuck show up. Dean wants to know where he’s been. “It’s a funny story. Reminds me of a song.” And the Chuck proceeds to pull up a guitar, which Dean promptly smashes to bits and pieces.

He shouts at Chuck to answer him, and with equal force Chuck responds, “Don’t!” Ugh, I think Dean just remembered he’s not just dealing with cuddly, affable, nebbish Chuck here. He’s dealing with God. To lessen the tension, Chuck snaps them all back to the bunker.

That doesn’t stop the questions that Sam, Dean, and Cas have though. Chuck admits to being around, but he’s hands off. If they want to <insert bad event> that’s on them. He only needs to step in when there’s an Apocalypse.

He stops the truth tellings and sets all the world back to order. Sam wants to know if Chuck can stop Jack. He tells them not exactly, but they can with a special gun. He just made it and hasn’t named it yet, but is leaning on “The Equalizer” or “The Hammurabi”. It’s a gun that sends a wave of multi-dimensional energy across a perfectly balanced quantum link. So shooter and shootee get the same treatment with this gun. Cas asks why he can’t just fix Jack’s soul. “Souls are complicated, even for me.” Dean says that this is it. Cas utters Team Free Will’s motto: There has to be another way. Dean doesn’t think so, and tells Cas to “get on board or walk away.” Cas walks away. (Spoiler: DID Y’ALL SEE CHUCK’S LITTLE SMILE AT THAT!?!)

Jack walks the streets replaying his conversation with his grandma. He’s troubled…

So is Dean! He’s tucked himself away in a corner of his bedroom, steadily working through a stash of liquor. He sits Sam down for a special talk. No, it’s not about how two people can still love each other very much, but need to be apart for a while. (#DeanCasBreakup) Dean is, of course, ready to kill himself to take care of the “Jack problem.” Dean. Bean.

Sam refreshingly calls him on his self-sacrificing bullshit.

“We always have a choice,” Sam tells him. He admits to Dean that he’s angry about their mom and a part of him does want Jack dead as well. But they have a responsibility to try to save Jack first. Jack lost his soul to save the Winchesters. Furthermore, he’s FAMILY. “You want my permission?” Sam asks. “You want me to say I’m cool with losing him and losing you all at once? ‘Cause I can’t do that.” GOD, SAM I LOVE YOU. This was the best, most emotional, most needed speech.

Cas continues his desperate search for Jack, heading to the cemetery where Kelly is buried. Jack isn’t there.

But Jack flaps in. He’s been looking for Cas! Castiel, that beautiful, majestic raven, pulls Jack in for a big hug.

Back at the bunker, Chuck’s a giant dork, playing with an AU archangel blade. Sam asks how many AUs exist. Chuck’s not sure, but we do learn about:

Reverse

No yellow

All squirrels (Thanks @consulting-cannibal for your contribution to the world’s cumulative joy)

At the cemetery, Jack talks through his failures with Cas. The lying experiment? Huge fail. Coffee and love with the Klines? Catastrophic strike-out. Grandma Kline accused Jack of killing Kelly, and Jack says that he did, just by being born. UGH that is a terrible guilt to lay on a child, soul or not. (Of course, she didn’t know…) Anyway, Cas is a good dad and talks about Jack’s experiences with him. Jack used to hate himself for Kelly’s death, but the feelings are gone. We also learn that Grandma Kline survived her interaction with Jack. Phew!

Sam asks Chuck an ultra-mega-pertinent question: is their world just another throw-away experiment? Chuck insists that this world is the best and he LOVES following the adventures of Sam and Dean. Sam gets pissed off at the idea of Chuck just watching them suffer through terrible near-ends. “You’re my favorite show,” Chuck says with a little side smile.

Sam demands an answer for why all these world-saving burdens have to fall on them, but Chuck offers up the “non-interference” answer. Anyway, he’s not here to argue cosmic ethics with Sam. It’s time to address the Jack problem. Sam finally asks where Jack is, and Chuck reveals that he’s already told Dean. Dean has left the bunker, gun in hand. Y I K E S.

At the cemetery, Jack and Cas talk.

For Beautiful Feelings Science:

Jack is desperate to do the right thing, but he doesn’t have a soul to guide him anymore. Oh, Jack. Cas will be your Jiminy Cricket! Jack WANTS to love. He wants to feel. But he can’t. “You can’t yet,” Cas tells him. They need to go hide somewhere in the world until Jack gets better.

Enter Dean with his metaphorical gun. Cas stands between Dean and Jack and EMOTIONS ARE HAPPENING PEOPLE. Jack refuses to run. He knocks Castiel away and faces Dean, knowing why Dean is there. Jack kneels. He’s ready. And I’m getting tears in my eyes. Because Dean looks at Jack. He REALLY looks at him while Cas and Sam watch the story unfold.

This metaphorical gun, while almost a joke because of its obvious symbolism, is actually perfect. This death would tear into Dean’s soul just as much as it tears into his body. And when Jack tells Dean that he knows he’s a monster just like Dean’s been saying all along, Dean looks at Jack and sees……...

Sam, meanwhile, has been joined by Chuck who is having the time of his life. Drama! Yes. Despair! Yes. Terrible soul-killing sacrifice! Mmmhmm good. Chuck watches Dean while Sam watches Chuck with growing horror. “Are you enjoying this?” Sam asks and Chuck shushes him like he’s in a freaking movie theater.

Dean cocks the weapon, grits his teeth. Finger tenses. He looks at Jack. And he LOWERS THE GUN. And here, I’m going to take a little crying break. This moment means so much to me.

Dean tosses the weapon aside. Chuck springs to life and orders Dean to pick the gun back up. “This isn’t how the story is supposed to end.” And HERE is where Chuck flips from adorable weird bunny to, idk, red-eyed god-bunny of doom.

The gravitas dies. Chuck goes on a rant about wanting to watch the father-killing-his-son storyline. The epic man paaaaaaain! Sam tells Dean that Chuck’s been playing them for fools. Playing WITH them like they’re game pieces.

“Our entire lives. Mom, Dad, everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because, what? Because we’re your favorite show? Because we’re part of your story?!”

Chuck tells Dean that if he picks up the gun and kills Jack (and himself) that he’ll bring Mary back. Dean confesses that his mom is his hero (cries) and he misses her (cries more) but she would not want this (cries the most).

“Why the games, Chuck?” Dean demands. The Winchesters unite in outrage. “When does it end?” Sam asks.

Chuck snaps his fingers and SMITES Jack. It isn’t fast, or painless. Cas tries to help him while Jack screams. Meanwhile, Sam picks up the metaphorical gun and shoots Chuck. NOOOOO SAAAAAAM!

(Okay, but the metaphorical gun symbolized Dean’s self-destruction but for Sam, it symbolizes how he fights to protect the people he loves. SAM you have come into your own this season. Truly. I am so proud.)

Sam only shoots Chuck in the shoulder and, as Chuck advertised, gets a wound in his shoulder as well. (At least he won’t have to dig out a bullet?) Pissed off now, Chuck throws a cosmic tantrum. “Story’s over,” Chuck says. “Welcome to The End.”

The sky goes dark. Jack’s dead, wing burns scorching the ground.

Sam’s still injured as they gather around Jack. We fall into a camera spiral, dipping down into Jack’s burned out eye socket (ew?) to the tune of Motorhead’s “God was never on your side.”Jack wakes in the Empty and looks around.

The Shadow greets him and draws a smile on their face. (What Would Mister Rogers Do?)

Billie greets him!!!!!!! “We should talk,” she says. Suddenly, all my crops are watered and my skin has cleared!

Down on the world, shit goes down in the cemetery. As an epic score screams about God’s betrayal, the dead claw themselves from the earth.

The woman in white appears. Gacy resurfaces. Bloody Mary rides again. These souls are all back, despite all the work and the death and loss…

It’s The End, and Team Free Will stand together as the dead converge on them. The camera cuts away and we lose sight of them in the pressing of the zombie horde.

I AM SO EXCITED. What a damn gloriously operatic note to linger on for…months.

D:  h o l d   m e

Quotes Lie:

Dad, none of this woulda happened without you.

You should never have tried to lock him away!

We’re gonna have to do the hard thing. We’re gonna have to do the ugly thing. It’s not like it’s the first time, right?

I’m Dean Winchester. I’m looking for the Devil’s son. This badge is fake.

“Hey I slept with your wife.” “I know. I’m kinda into it.”

And I saw Springsteen on Broadway, man’s a genius.

You want to go up against the British Men of Letter? Little weak, but ok.

Souls are complicated, even for me.

I’ve already lost too much.

What are you?!!

No offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy.

This isn’t just a story. IT’S OUR LIVES.

Writers lie.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[timeguardiansarchive]

“It’s all over now. Don’t panic, it’s not my blood. ” Street puts his sidearm away as the patrol officers swoop in to finish securing the scene. Ignoring the mess his uniform had turned into, he offers Melody a hand up. --VictimoftheJazz/Street for Melody

Ensnared between white-knuckling fingers was an envelope addressed to herself in bold black ink. A sum of sixteen million dollars had been withdrawn from her bank account. While Melody’s family was exceedingly wealthy, the regal brunette had not made the transaction which, meant someone was stealing from her. She wanted to rectify that immediately. That is why she abandoned sun and surf in favor of the concrete jungle.

The last thing she expected was to end up right in the middle of a hostile bank robbery. There were more gunmen than she could ever consider taking out on her own. So Melody did the next best thing, she ran towards the manager’s offices and grabbed the desk phone. She immediately dialed 911. “Give me SWAT, Olympic Division, stat.” Melody only waits a beat. As soon as she hears his familiar voice, she relates, “there are six active gunmen in the Bay Meadows Second National Bank. Hurry. The bank is full of innocent civilians.” From a crouched position, she peers above the glass divider.

Clinging to the phone, Melody confides, “I’m going back out there....” She doesn’t wait for a warning to stay put or for a goodbye. As a lifeguard, she can’t stand around and do nothing when people were in danger even if she was unarmed.

ALT

ALT

Shaking, she races down the short and narrow corridor into the main bank hub where all the gunmen are terrorizing the tellers. Her studious orbs shifts about anxiously and round in panic when she notices several kids are in the direct line of fire. They had separated from their families to play in the lobby rather than sit through intensely boring meetings. She picks her way through the stampeding swarm of people; all of whom were hurriedly escaping the hail of bullets.

As she moves, she hears the distinct sound of sirens outside. Hopefully, help is on the way....

However, Melody knows that before everything is over, there will be more bullets flying. She snags as many kids as she can and heards them back towards an office. The task was made easier given the gunmen were distracted by a loud voice over the bullhorn.

There aren’t many places to hide, she realizes with the sinking sensation of dread settling in. With a deep breath, she urges them to take shelter under the desk. Then she does the next smartest thing, Melody uses her body as a shield.

Melody knows she’s not the mothers that these kids are wailing for, but she cuddles the three of them close to her form. “I promise, you’ll see your Moms in a little. Right now, I need you to be brave. You can do that for me. R--right?” She murmurs. “So we’re all going to play a quiet game. Winner gets $100 and....” Her eyes lock upon the candy jar on the desk. “A full container of candy...” That seemed to be an adequate bribe. Right?

She can practically feel their fear as clearly as she does their heated breathes. She has been where they are once or twice. There was one massive difference separating their circumstances. Melody signed up to go into danger, these kids hadn’t. Trembling fingers drift through their hair with gentle affection. The situation would all be over soon, she hopes. It’s enough to make her pray that the gunman would pass the room she squirreled them in. Or that Swat would stop them before they ever make it this far......

               Like a swarm of maddened hornets, the air is full of rapidly fired ammo. From whose guns or aimed at whom, Melody doesn’t know. She can’t say. She absolutely refuses to move away from the kids in order to find out.

__________________________________

The sound of the door handle rattling causes her entire body to bristle. She curls her frame tighter around the kids. She reaches atop the desk, grabbing a stapler. It’s not an ideal weapon, by any means, but it’ll have to do. It would buy her a few valuable seconds to calculate a more elaborate plan on how to save these kids.

“Shhhhh.” She instructs the little boy who had begun sniveling just as the door is swung open. With her heart pounding vehemently in her throat, Melody prepares to raise herself up to greet the threat. Her movements, however, are stopped short by the sound of the radio and the familiar voice answering. “Street?!!” Tremulous, his name escapes her weary tongue. Heady is the sigh that follows as Melody eases her vision above the cluttered surface of the desk.

Sure enough, her eyes did not deceive her. “Thank God it’s you!” She murmurs as he rounds the corner and approaches her location. She clasps tightly onto his hand and allows herself to raise from the floor revealing three children under the ages of six. Immediately, she throws her arms tightly around him. Taking only a moment to nuzzle her nose against the slim area of his neck left exposed.   “Are.... are you okay?” When she takes a step back, she begins to understand why it is he issued the warning statement. His uniform was certainly a casualty of battle. It was stained irredeemably with blood. “Jim.....” She starts her voice dropping several octaves, “are you sure you’re okay? Let me check you over...”

It’s only a small voice of the boy that returns her attention to her charges. “But first, we’d better get these brave kids back to their parents.” Then, as if an explanation was required, Melody tacks on. “In all of the chaos, I took them under my wing...” She pauses. “But don’t think that this is going to get you off the hook. I want to make sure you’re okay...”

“Candy?” Sheepishly prods Aiden as he wipes his sniveling nose over his sleeve.

“Forget that. What about my hundred bucks, lady?” Questions the six-year-old Cantessa with obvious priorities. Turning to Aiden, she announces, “cause a hundred bucks will buy you more candy than there is in that jar. Someone’s already eaten most of it!” She remarks, as if truly scandalized.

Melody suspects the jar was never really full to begin with. She deigns not argue such a moot point with little ones who just survived a traumatic event.

“It’ll buy me a whole year of candy!” Cantessa announces to anyone who would listen.

The three-year-old Josie emerges from under the desk and wraps her arms around  Melody’s leg tightly. “Can I have ice -queam instead?”

Melody laughs nervously. It’s almost impossible not to melt under the flash of doleful-puppy eyes cast in her direction. She was about to respond when a stress-crazed mother bursts forward. “My BABIES!!!” She throws herself on the floor to scoop Josie and Cantessa into her arms. Her hug cured the girls temporarily of their desire for the requested and very justifiable bribes. A deal was a deal.

She doles out two-hundred dollars from her purse and hands it over to the skeptical mother. “It was a bribe to make sure they stayed quiet and safe...”

The boy, however, didn’t see his mother and began to openly weep. Melody instantly swoops down and picks him up. “Jim, here, might have shiny toy badge for you since you were the bravest of them all. Don’t you? And if he doesn’t, my boss Mitch might. Cause the little guy here is probably going to be a lifeguard...”  The two-year-old was too stressed to really focus on prizes. He really, deeply, wanted his Moma.

She reached over and gave him a little piece of chocolate. Something she believes is okay for someone so small in comparison to the dumdums and the mints.

“There weren’t any--- any civilians --- hurt? Right?” Melody implores in a hushed tone, letting her lips nearly drift across Street’s ear. She didn’t necessarily want her delicate company finding out from them if something horrendous had happened. She hadn’t the heart for it. Not when she already felt such an affinity for the small boy.

[craftmanatee]

DreadXCollection 2 Games Review

Me and my friend played through DreadXCollection 2, we each played a game resulting in 6 for him, and 6 for me. Although, there is a 13th game which is the hub that goes between the games. Despite playing separate games like this, we both experienced it together and I feel confident in making a short review for each game in the collection and a conclusive one for the collection that is DreadX.

Il be reviewing each game in the Order I think You should Play if you are going to.

Game X: The House (Ingeniously done!)

Scare Type: Spooky

I would advise you to figure out and play trough the house, you will be forced to play through one game from the collection before the house opens up to be fully explored. When that is the case, give it your pace by doing the house little by little or all at once so that there are no barriers to the games.

The House itself is such a nostalgic trip for me when I think about it, it reminds me a bit on Mario 64 or Banjoo Kazooie where there is a hub and you have to figure out how to get to the next level. But the next level is a game in this case. Some of the puzzles can actually trip you up, but I fully believe you to try and figure them out on your own. There are always other puzzles to do if you are stuck on one. For us, they were not in any way difficult.

When you do unlock a game, make sure to read the terrible comic. Me and my friend did not... GET it, and it felt awful due to the terrible voice-over.

Solipsis by Daniel Mullins (alright!)

Scare Type: Surreal

This is the first recommended game to play. A fairly short one that puts you in the right mood for the rest of the House and the game. Solipsis is artistically very very very good. It gives a sense of dread, and plays with a certain mechanic wonderfully to the character. Its a bit of a Walking simulator, but it is worth experiencing, especially as a first before doing the house! My friend was the player of this one.

Then do the house, The next game on the list then is!

Arcadletra by Vidas Games (Not that good)

Scare Type: Jump Scares

This is a very short linear experience, the quality is not bad or anything. But artistically it does very little to satisfy a tense horror session. It felt very run of the mill, and just got me (Who was the player) to just walk forward into what the game wanted me to walk forward into. No real game, just a jumpy experience.

To The End Of Days by Scythe Dev Team (Meh)

Scare Type: Action packed!

Here is a fun one, and one I think is good to rub the last game off with. To The End Of Days is an 80s style action movie where you blast through enemies with your shotgun. Some enemies make a return from their previous DreadX collection game, those are probably the only spook worthy enemies in the game. It is pretty forgettable but a nice change of pace. My friend was the player of this one.

The Toy Shop by Mahelyk (Oof... pretty bad)

Scare Type: Copy-pasted enemies coming from the Darkness???

I get that these games are having fun with their ideas and are being unique, there are some unique ideas in this game but it just falls flat and you want it to be over. This game becomes several different games in different areas, you arent really sure what kind of horror this game is trying to bring. Although, I did like some of the aesthetics here and there, again it has its ideas but it was not enjoyable. Knock this one out. My friend was the player of this one.

Another Late Night by Secret Cow Level (What?)

Scare Type: Suspense

Playing this, I was mostly waiting for the big reveal or the grand horror, but I was mostly confused. Did we miss out on certain scares? Were there scares at all? I will give it that there is suspense. The horror here is of an entity speaking to you through the computer. That is... about it. Im sorry! I dont have much to say about this one!

Undiscovered by Torple Dook (Just fine)

Scare Type: Hopelessness

It is a pretty campy and simple Silent Hill esque game with a horror Indiana Jones adventure. Its not all that fun to PLAY, but kind of funny poking fun at the campy quality. As you go deeper, the game does get more interesting. Nothing to write much about, but is a nice treat.

From here on out, the upcoming games will be both better and scarier! If you are following this list, know that it all now becomes absolutely worth it!

The Diving Bell by Bathysfear Labs (Pretty cool)

Scare Type: Lonesome/Paranoia

The Diving Bell was a bit too forgiving with its difficulty, but it did have interesting ideas and design. It did get spooky and was also often moody. It was a bit glitchy, enough for us to find an easter egg by accident. Most of the spookiness might be randomised. Regardless, this was a nice spooky experience I personally wish I could see in a more fleshed out game. My friend was the player of this one.

Touched by an Outer God by Wither Studios (Fun!)

Scare Type: Gross

A rouge-like esque arena shooter akin to Doom. Its fun to upgrade yourself and blast through enemies, this game however, desperately needs music to accompany the campiness of the game. You will want to upgrade for killing efficiency before anything else, you will get overpowered, dont worry. However, the constant attention for a bit of skill-full clicking did make things a bit tiresome.

Squirrel Stapler by David Szymanski (Godlike!)

Scare Type: Huge Build-Up, suspense.

I would rate this as the second best game on the collection. It does take a bit of frustration and time, but that is all just a build up. And when the time comes, learn to strafe and let them charge past you. Youl know what I mean. In any case, this was to me the most memorable as it had a lot of anticipation and build up as well as a cursed nature to it. It struck me exactly the way I wanted it to.

THE THING IN THE LAKE by Panstasz (Great!)

Scare Type: Panic

A neat little game with a cool aesthetic. I personally find it disappointing, but I also recognise it for being solid and designed well. Tip: If you hear a rumble, maybe you should wait. I wish there was more to this game as it was enjoyable learning the layout and getting the secret ending.

SUCKER FOR LOVE by Akabaka (Awesome!)

Scare Type: Twists and turns!

A cute point and click “Date”-ing simulator (Not really a dating simulator at all) that turns dark. Its funny, ngl it does get tense, and is well made! Most dating simulators or point and click games dont reach this quality. My friend was the player of this one.

Charlotte’s Exile by John Szymanski (The best!)

Scare Type: Anxiety

Save the best for last, as this one will make an impression! This is such a well rounded puzzle game. Great art, great puzzles, great everything! Its 100% the best in this list, and is probably the most gratifying to end on. My friend was the player of this one.

Conclusion to the Entire Collection

Despite some games being pretty bad, it did make the variety pack feel like a good variety of small games. Top 3 for me goes to Sucker for love, Squirrel Stapler and then Charlotte’s Exile. The house that bring them together is also great, each tape comes with an uneventful comic which ties to the house in some way. The ending to the entire collection was fine, could have had a bit more fanfare or an objective but it was fine.

As a game/collection, this is legitimately a breath of fresh air. It feels nostalgic to experience a variety pack of games, and bundled together in an interesting way. I have my friend to thank for making it possible as it was he who hosted the evenings.

[lisarbaldwin]

Let’s face it, Mary Poppins was right.

In every job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game

–Spoonful of Sugar, Mary Poppins, Disney

My mom used to make having “Kitchen Duty” a game. She used to tell me to race myself and see if I could clean it faster than I did the night before! Somehow she managed to get me to play a game all by myself while doing something I hated doing. Moms are magical, y’all.

I guess it works, because here I am about to declutter my bedroom and my main motivation is that last night on Facebook, I managed to volunteer myself for bedroom cleaning while showing support for my friend’s desire to get more organized in the new year. I shouldn’t have been typing in the dark, or I would have seen what a hot mess was waiting for me. (Before pics are coming)

I’m all about baby steps, and that’s how I’ll tackle today.

Four Tips for Tackling Overwhelming Chores

Set a time limit.  I usually aim for 15 minutes, but since we are working on the whole room, I’m going to allot one hour – in four 15-minute increments. Sometimes I’ll binge watch Netflix, something I’m sure none of you ever do, but I do, I’ll admit it. I’ll finish an episode of Gilmore Girls and then set a time for 15 minutes, tackle an area or chore, and THEN I can push play on the next episode. If you’re working in the same room as the TV, you can tackle TWO 15 minute blocks per episode of Friends! 

Set a simple goal. One bag of trash -or- one bag to donate -or- one drawer -or- one shelf (not the whole bookcase, Cassie!) Most often, I will end up way exceeding the goal. One bag turns into two, I get on a roll with that shelf and find myself moving on to the next one. Something about hitting the goal makes it fun. If a kid runs in and interrupts you and you can’t finish the second cabinet, or another bag, it’s okay, because you already met the goal. Keep it short and simple.

Reward yourself with something that does not require others to go along. I may need to explain this a bit. I used to get so discouraged when I would work my butt off all day with the expectation of getting to have an hour alone to read, or an hour to take a hot bath, or quiet trip to Target alone, only to never get my reward because it relied on other people participating. It never failed the kids would get sick that day, or my husband would forget to tell me he had invited company over, or a friend would need me (and I have an issue with saying no- yes, I know, it’s a thing, I’m working on it.) Now my rewards are quick, and usually instant: the next episode, popcorn, the next chapter in my book, 15 minutes to write in my journal, a cookie…. literally a cookie, there’s a story there, better saved for another day.

Phone a friend, or poke, tweet, message, snap, whatever the kids are doing these days, find your friends. It just takes one. Scratching off “clean nightstand” feels really good but it’s bonus fun if you’re friend can send you a “way to go party time” gif when you’re done. (Yes, Cassie, I am expecting a gif… please and thank you.)

As embarrassing as they are, here are the before pictures, taken from my current spot on the bed:

Dresser

Desk/Craft

My Nightstand

It’s almost 9 am here.

I have allotted one hour to devote to this today. I’ll do my first 15 minute sprint after I feed the chickens. My reward? Hot coffee.

The First Fifteen

I tackled my nightstand first. It was closest to me, and it is usually the spot that gets ignored the most. My timer buzzed, but I was close to finishing so I kept going a bit longer. I found a grocery bag worth of trash in, on, or around it.

Y’all, I hide a LOT of candy in there. I tossed it, because I couldn’t be certain how long it had been in there. Also, candy does not help my medical issues at all so while I had the will power I tossed it out.

I found my missing stapler. I found my hunting knife (not that I ever use it, but I know where it is now). I found my new set of tweezers that I’ve been missing since I did Steel Magnolias in the summer. See that big red mug in the picture? My kids wrote their names on it as a gift one year, so I don’t use it as a coffee mug. I has spare change in it. I also was stuffed with Reese’s cup wrappers. The wrappers are gone now. Maybe when I turn on my little black fan, I’ll actually feel the air!

Time for a coffee reward and since I can’t JUST focus on this room today, I’m going to throw some clothes in the laundry. PASSIVE cleaning is my favorite! I take 60 seconds to toss clothes in and it does the work for me.

*** The kids woke up, had to make breakfast, and start schoolwork. I started a load of laundry, found the kitchen table (it was covered in stuff from New Year’s night, cleaned dog barf off the couch, and took a trash bag through the house to gather trash from bathroom and bedroom trash cans.

Also, just got the call that my sister-in-love is in the hospital about to have baby #5!  Whoo hoo!!!  Lots about to be up in the air as we were on call to come help pet sit while they were in the hospital. He’s a few weeks early, but docs are optimistic about the little guy being okay.

Reading, reading, writing, and math. Stopped to make some frantic “the baby is coming” phone calls, and then I headed into the bedroom for another 15 minute sprint. I tackled the dresser.

I have a love/hate thing going on with this dresser. It’s technically mine, as far as the clothes go. Mr’s is in the closet because our room is small. I had planned to have my jewelry box on it, and my retro radio; however, since we have limited space, it ended up being the piece of furniture that held the DVD player, and the WiiU (don’t even get me started on that one. Grrr). Also, his fancy humidor can’t stay in the closet because the closet is in the bathroom and there a humidity blah blah blah, excuses, and it had to be in our room. I did get the 8000 random Ikea parts off of it, and put my earrings away. I collected all the random bobby pins and hair clips and put them in the bathroom.

I did not put the hair things where they went. That would have made sense, but it also would have wasted time I had dedicated to the dresser. They were dumped in my random basket that I will sort when I decide to spend time decluttering the bathroom. A 15 minute sprint is not the time to start squirreling off on another project….we are not playing “if you give a mom a chore” today. Focus.

No real reward this time, as all the interruptions have put me behind a bit and I just got a text asking if I could give someone a ride somewhere around 2 pm. The washer is done, so I’ll call the kids to move it to the dryer and I’ll fix lunch. I think I’ll have them empty the dishwasher too, they look bored.

Okay, phew! Glad that’s done.

This definitely isn’t perfect, but it’s the best I could do for today (and with only 15 mins to play). The laundry pile has been put away, and the desk cleared. The stack of green and pink boxes are craft supplies I brought in from our storage barn. I’m trying to get a few items made for my Etsy store, but it’s slow going.

That brown box on the right? That’s a shoe organizer from Ikea that I haven’t built yet. I haven’t built it because I can’t get into the kid’s room where it is supposed to be going. That’s for another day. That project will be more of a “shock and awe” event in our house. Empty to space and start over kind of thing.

But first, babies!  I’m done for today with this project, now I have to figure out what I can do to help my brother and his wife welcome their new one to the world!

Leave me a comment below and tell me what your biggest decluttering/cleaning challenge is and I’ll try to answer it in an upcoming post!

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