#i woudl go wake up yuuma but hes been working and jova doesnt get back till late and he'll wanna spend time with Jonah

[one4sorrow]

So I tried to go out on a walk and I regret it.

Its always nice when i first get out of the house. Even as foggy as I've been the sun still feels nice on my skin. But its late, and I really should have known better then to think it would stay good

Charlotte stopped by on my the foggy walk. i twas nice to be able to talk to her again. i hate how the whole thing makes me feel though

i always feel a little cold when she stops by. it feels like a little piece of me gets leached away when the fog rolls in. its that cold feeling that reminds me just how fucked up ia m as a person. charlotte seems so...peaceful, i guess

why can i be that?

she isnt stressed out or anxious anymore, she just seems peaceful. content.

i wish i could do that, that when the fog rolls back out and she fades away i could do the same and go with her to wherever she goes.

im so tired of feeling like this. of having to wake up every day and hear my brothers talk about the latest problem or think about how my own mother thinks im just as bad as my oldest brother because of all this custody shit

i wish i could make it stop, the feeling of my skin crawling when i go outside by myself too close to dark.

i hate how till she was there i just couldnt be alone without wondering if every shadow was going to grow hands and claws and hurt me agian

i want this to be over, i want to learn to fly and leavce all this behind