#i wish the fic had been more clearly tagged cause I'd have skipped it if so

[areyoudoingthis]

upon some reflection I actually really love ofmd's take on stede and parenthood. I love that he's not a great dad. I love that the show said this man was not allowed real freedom to choose and these are the consequences, and that it didn't paint stede as evil or blameless. I love that the idea is "this man probably shouldn't have had children, but he did because it's what was expected of him and he couldn't break away from those expectations sooner, so here's what happened to him and his children." I love that he was more friend than father to his kids, and that ultimately they all agreed that the right choice was for him to walk away from an arrangement that was making them all miserable instead of staying out of obligation and making everyone even more miserable. I love that doug is literally dad shaped and the kids get someone who actively chose to be their dad and who is ultimately gonna help them grow up as far more healthy people than stede if he had stayed and been a shell of his real self as a result. I love that the show acknowledges the shitty circumstances without trying to argue that stede is a blameless victim or making him a monster

parenthood is hard and complicated and a lot of people who have kids shouldn't and every parent fucks up, some more than others, but admitting it is always the best way to go, and trying to find a way forward that makes everyone happy is the only real option that doesn't result in children not talking to their parents as soon as they're old enough to choose