#i wish spangle wasn't my introduction to fish
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is feeling guilt over the time you spent as a beginner to a pet keeping hobby something other people experience or am i just mentally ill.
#i don't know i just feel like#i wish spangle wasn't my introduction to fish#mom just kinda gave me this fish and was like here you figure it out#i made so many mistakes and i just#i feel like he deserved better#i think he would've lived longer if it weren't me#and ever since he died i just keep feeling existential dread about my own mortality too#that fish had such an emotional impact on me#ill never forget him#at least i know he loved me in his own way. in the ways he could.#i was his entire world but i don't know if i even deserved him#i sometimes feel the same about claire#i feel so guilty when im too depressed or tired to play with her#i don't know.#hades.txt
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