#i will not promise that im not abnormal about him. in a normal way. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

too-gay-for-marvel · 4 years ago

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a special card

a/n: listen,,,,,,,,, i know i promise this every time i finish something, but i swear im not dead. im just a simple bean trying to be an adult. and ive got the Big Sad. but im doin my best and yall will love me anyway ✌😎

Word Count: 1675

Warnings: none? i think?

Pairing: CarolNat x Reader (focus on Nat x Reader)

(pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4)

Unlike Carol, Natasha didn’t wait until the evening to show up. No, she showed up in the middle of the day, right around when your lunch break should have started. If you had known, you wouldn’t have even shown up to work. No, that was a lie, you absolutely would have still shown up to work.

It had already been an abnormal day; you had woken up late thanks to a certain blonde that had kept you up far too long. You had rushed through your shower, your coffee, and had gotten to work late. Now, your boss hadn’t cared. Hell, he had been borderline ecstatic that you had finally showed up past your usual punctual arrival.

“Hope this means you lived a little,” he had said when you showed up an outrageous 23 minutes late. His stupid smug face made you sick.

“Won’t happen again,” you mumbled and, even though you knew he had heard you, he ignored it.

Aside from your boss giving you a stupid little smirk every now and then, work was normal. You were behind, but you decided you could just move your schedule back by 23 minutes. It would ruin everything, but it was something you could live with for the day. Maybe. You would try, at least.

You blasted your music and put yourself into high gear, trying to get a blueprint finished before lunch so you could get back on track. But of course you didn’t, because for the first time in a very long time, your mind wouldn’t shut up. It just had to remind you of the reason behind your embarrassingly strict schedule.

And when lunch came around, you decided to work through it. It wasn’t like you were really in the mood to eat anyway, not with the graphic images running through your head. Besides, if you worked through lunch then you could be back on track for the afternoon. Seemed like a win-win, actually.

“Have time for a break?”

Of course. Of course there was the distraction. There was always a distraction. You put your carving knife down and turned your head enough to see Natasha walking toward you, a take-out bag in one hand and an envelope in the other. You suspected something, as you should. But that stupid smirk was enough to convince you to hear her out.

“No,” you said simply, turning back to your project before waiting for her answer. You were in the mood to be problematic. As you rightfully should be.

“Too late, your boss said you needed one,” she said before immediately setting the take-out bag on your project.

“Carol said you needed a distraction,” Natasha continued as if she hadn’t noticed you rush to lift the bag off your project in the hopes it hadn’t gotten any condensation or… unsightly liquids on the wood.

“Said you seemed a little stressed.” With that, she sat down in your chair and propped her feet up on the same project you had just cleaned.

“I’m not stressed,” you shook your head. “Just busy,” you emphasised by pushing her feet off the wood.

“Has anyone ever told you you work too much?” She asked. She leaned forward and rested her arms on your project - had she no shame? - before giving you another stupid smirk. Did she ever stop? Smirking that much just wasn’t natural.

“No.”

You didn’t look up. You refused to look up only to see that look that you knew she was giving you. It was the same look Carol gave you when you wouldn’t ease up on your schedule. The look Daniel gave you when you hesitated to take the kids on short notice. The look your mother gave you when she felt you were being ridiculous and needed to loosen up. All of those looks had one thing in common.

Pity.

And you hated pity.

“You need to eat,” Natasha said, far softer than you had thought her capable of. That too-confident attitude had disappeared and she looked… mundane. You didn’t think it was possible.

“I don’t need to eat,” you shot back regardless of how normal she looked. Just because she was a mob boss didn’t mean she could boss you around.

“Yes you do.”

“I don’t.”

“Y/N.”

“Natasha.”

You both locked eyes, and you could see the way hers sparkled; not with frustration, but pride. Logically eyes didn’t sparkle with anything really (unless it was the glitter from Dillon’s drawings) but you could tell. There was a slight squint at the corner of her eyes and you had known her long enough to know what that meant.

It meant she was proud.

Screw her pride.

“I’ll put it in the fridge for later,” she finally said, breaking eye contact as she did it. “Don’t forget it.”

It was a stern warning, but the fact that she hadn’t added an actual “or else” meant that nothing was going to happen. You knew it, she knew it, it was an empty threat. But you almost appreciated her attempt at taking care of you. As well as a mob boss could, you supposed.

The moment she was out of your work space, you focused back in on the project in front of you. With absolute surprise, you could finally focus. You were getting things done and, even though Nat was back within two minutes, you had actually made some progress. Maybe it was because Nat had come to see you.

Why the fuck would that matter?

“We got you a card,” Nat said as soon as she got back.

You looked up to see her holding the envelope she had walked in with. You brushed the splinters off your hands - even though you should have been wearing gloves - before taking the envelope from her slender fingers that you knew had pulled the trigger more times than you cared to accept.

They hadn’t closed it properly. Part of you wanted to scold them for it, but the other part was glad you wouldn’t have to rip it open and ruin your always-put-together demeanour. Obviously you could open it properly at home, but you weren’t at home, were you?

It was a simple card. A few flowers on the front, some pink some white. It was pretty cheesy if you were being honest with yourself. But then on the inside is where it got good. There were more of the same flowers, but they were underlining the two sentences in the middle of the card.

“We fucked up. So we’re really really sorry.”

When you looked closer, you noted that the original card had said “I fucked up,” but the “I”s had been scribbled out and replaced with the “we”s. Then below the flowers, in surprisingly childlike handwriting, was Nat’s and Carol’s names.

“Have you two… ever signed a card before?” You hesitated to ask, but only after seeing the uncertainty on Nat’s face.

“Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… you…” but the look on her face was enough to get you to sigh and smile softly to yourself. “It’s a really good card.”

That smirk of hers was back as she leaned in her chair and propped her feet up onto your project again. If she didn’t stop, there were going to be consequences. In theory, of course. You were never really one to break the rules at work.

Okay, you were one to never break the rules at work.

You were still mesmerised - whether in a good way or bad way, you couldn’t quite tell just yet - by the card when you finally noticed a pair of arms wrapping around your middle. You knew it wasn’t your boss. Even though he was overly sweet, he wasn’t a perv.

Deductive reasoning aside, you would know her touch at any time.

“I heard Carol made it up to you,” Nat whispered in your ear. Well, as close to your ear as she could get. She was just a little too short to reach.

“No, I made it up to her,” you shot back quickly, wanting to make it clear that Carol had not gotten the best of you. No one got the best of you.

“Mmm how about I make it up to you, then?”

Admittedly, you loved the tone in Nat’s voice. As much as you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t really feel anything for the couple, you did. You felt so much for the both of them that it hurt your heart. Literally. But you also knew you couldn’t let anyone get the best of you. Not even Nat.

“My boss is—”

“—goin home for the day!” He called out, and you immediately started questioning just how much he had eavesdropped. “Don’t forget to lock up!”

And with that he was gone. Almost like he had planned the whole thing. Maybe he had. Or maybe the woman behind you had been cunning enough to… “convince him” to leave for the day. Yeah, that was probably the more accurate option. You could live with that.

But you couldn’t live with Nat thinking she had the upper hand.

he moment her hand started to move up your stomach, you grabbed one of her arms and used it to pull her between yourself and your project. One of the benefits of being bigger than her; you could manhandle her all you wanted. And there was also the perk of her being shocked by your size every single time.

Nat knew better than to argue. In the real world around other people, she was the boss. But in this one room, away from prying eyes? Everything was different, she had no control and she knew it, and she loved it. So much so that she put up no fight when you lifted her onto your project and stepped between her legs. Nothing could fix that weekend, but maybe it could distract you just enough.

It was certainly enough to bury all your previous concerns of getting your project dirty.

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moxfirefly · 4 years ago

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Video calls and confessions

Part 2

Rated Explicit (18+)

Got around to that part teo for this one shot.

Hellboy/Cam!Girl

____________________

The world going to shit wasn’t exactly how’d you planned out your Friday afternoon. This morning you had woken up with enthusiasm and a desire to treat yourself.

You’d gone out to the city, had your nails done, grabbed an obscenely priced coffee and on your way had stumbled on a museum.

A little culture never hurt nobody.

For Christ sake it was a free entry day too.

So why then, as you admired priceless art and sculptures had literal hell descended upon the evening?

Creatures. Actual monsters. The screams of the public deafening.

That had happened about half an hour ago. In your haste you had thanked you fight or flight mode to quick into flight. The shaking in your body had cause you to run into one of the exhibit rooms most cluttered with random ‘junk’ whatever this art installation had gone for it was surely not for somebody to duck behind for safety.

You checked your phone. The news was reporting the attack of the art museum. Authorities had been sent as well as the B.P.R.D...

That made you pause and clutch your phone.

If the bureau was on its way then that meant Hellboy was too.

The very notion of possibly seeing him in the flesh made your heart skip a few beats. The two of you had been communicating on and off for a while now since the private shows had started. You knew mixing work and pleasure wasn’t smart but fuck, you had it bad for this guy.

There was a sense of relief washing over you. He’d be here, he’d take care of this mess. Maybe you’d finally see him and not through a computer screen. You knew things had escalated with him although neither of you had really properly addressed it.

“Please whatever is up there, if I survive this I’m fucking telling him I’m in love with him” You whispered to yourself. This possibly couldn’t be your last day on earth.

Something screeching and something akin to a human scream startled you. You hugged your knees closer and tried not to breath loudly. Gunshots and more screams could be heard.

Then something came crashing into the installation where you were hiding. Your scream was imposible to hold in. The creature was screeching so loudly, a sound that left your ears ringing.

Adrenaline made you run out as fast as you humanly could. You heard the great strides it took to catch up to you. This was it wasn’t it? You were gonna die?

Your legs kept pushing you forward even as your muscles burned with pain. Your eyes hurt from crying and your throat felt like it was sandpaper. Something like a claw reaching for your hair made you close your eyes. There was no way you wanted to see how this ended for you.

Two shots.

Loud and so very clear, the sound coming out of left field made you trip and fall. The screening fortunately had stopped.

“Miss?! You’re safe! Hey! You gotta get out of here now!” That voice you knew all to well. You looked up and saw red and a stone hand.

“R-red...” Your voice was small, a sob catching in your throat.

“Y/N!?” He was shocked, eyes wide as he knelt in front of you.

You weren’t sure how your body moved or if he moved you but somehow you’d ended up with your arms around him sobbing into his neck. Hellboy held you tightly, whispering that you were safe, an array of cusses slipped out as he breathed heavily.

The knowledge that you were here, if he’d been a millisecond too late, all crashed down on him as he picked you up and carried you to safety.

You could’ve died, was all that ran through his head.

You’re alive, was all that ran through yours.

_______________

One helicopter ride, a medical exam and a shower later you found yourself at the home base of the B.P.R.D. A nice young woman by the name of Alice had loaned you some clothes and had taken you to Hellboy’s room to wait. A debriefing was happening and all you could do was sit tight.

You resolved to canceling all your cam shows for the week stating you had fallen terribly ill. There was no way you could work, your hands were still shaking as you typed out the post and notified your one on one shows. It felt like hours as you sat on the couch, you had looked around at his room, seeing and array of personal items that made up his personality.

Such a big part of you often dreamt about this but your nerves had you glued to your spot.

The door opened and Hellboy came barreling in like a tornado. You flinched and bit too hard on your already chewed off nail, so much for that manicure.

“I’m so sorry, I wanted to leave that stupid meeting but it’s fucking mandatory because Daimio thinks it’s necessary, asshole that guy I tell ya-“ He took in your state, the still slight tremble in your hands, the few scrapes here and there. You looked small and scared and it absolutely destroyed him.

In his silence he made his way towards the coffee table and sat in front of you. “You know I often fantasized what it be like to see you in the flesh, this wasn’t how it usually went I promise” He smiled and for the first time in this piss filled day, so did you.

“How would it go?” You asked softly.

“Some mood light, a little wine maybe some music” The two of you chuckled. Your chuckles quickly dissolved in you trying to hold back your tears.

You were almost killed tonight, the shock would take some time to subside. “Hey hey kid, it’s ok, I’ve got you. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you on my watch” Hellboy’s flesh hand rested on your knees.

You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his shoulder. “...When I read you guys were sent out, I really got excited that I’d finally see you” You felt his flesh hand stroke your hair.

“I’m in love with you” You blurted out, his hand going to still. “I said, if I’m making it out of this alive I’m telling him, so I’m telling you...” You looked up at him, e/c meeting his golden ones.

“I-Im not dancing around this no more, I’m tired of pretending that what’s been going on isn’t just some work thing that I do, fuck, I love you I really do and I think you do too” Your mouth want dry again, the scratchy sensation making you swallow.

Hellboy searched out your eyes, something in his head was going a mile a minute. Was he searching for a lie? Something disingenuous?

That all died when he lunged forward and kissed you.

A kiss that truly and utterly left no worry.

You were kissing Hellboy. You were gripping Hellboy by the scruff of his shirt. The way his lips molded against yours, the abnormal warmth to them, the softness to them, the roughness of his scruff.

Pulling back for air felt obligated but he’d insisted by pressing the stumps of his horns against your forehead. “Wow...that’s...so much better than I could’ve imagined” He was star struck in a way and it honest to god made you laugh.

The days events took a back seat for now you wanted to take in the being before you. You scanned everything you normally did while on cam with him. Your hands explored his face, running across scars and hair.

Then you remembered what lay to his right and your heart raced.

You gripped his stone hand, fascinated by the texture of stone, how he held your hand with so much regard to his strength. The patterns, the markings everything has you entranced.

“Extraordinary” Was all you could muster as you rubbed on what would be the inside f his wrist. “I’m sorry, is this weirding you out?” You looked at Hellboy only to find him grinning. “Having a beautiful girl touch me? Yes it’s completely weirding me out” He mocked and you couldn’t help but playfully shove him.

“God I need a beer, can we...?” He was leaning over toward the mini fridge next to the couch and pulling said drinks out. “Read my mind, beautiful” He offered one towards you.

This morning you were going about a normal routine, and now after a near death experience you were in the room of a man you had been falling in love with for months. The twist and turns of life.

Around round 3 you’d excused yourself to use the bathroom. As you washed your hands and saw your normal pristine face a little worn down from the stressful events you frowned.

But there you stood in Hellboy’s bathroom. Surrounded by things all him. The tips of your fingers ran through a brush of his. This was a reality right now.

You stepped out and caught him shrugging off his coat. Busying your thumbnail again at your teeth you watched his now visible arms flex with the movements.

“All good?” He smiled leaning against the dresser.

There was a pregnant pause in which the two of you merely just ogled one another from across the bed.

You moved first.

You walked over the bed and stood on it, you reached out a hand that he took without hesitation and with the extra height from the bed you met in a heated kiss face to face. You wrapped your arms around his neck, you felt his around your hips.

In a wordless haste you yanked at his black T-shirt and busied yourself with taking off yours. He watched mesmerized, as always, the revealing of your skin.

The image before you though, god you wanted to scream.

Hellboy undoing his belt and swiftly yanking the whole thing out of the belt loops without breaking eye contact. Off were your pants, and on was him as he took you down on the bed.

It was a haze, breathless kisses and chants of desire. He one handed the button of your jeans and his own. The brief separation to take the offending items off had the two of you giggling almost. In record time he was back on you and you welcomed it with a ferocity to your kisses. Tongue slipping into his mouth, you swallowed a groan of his that vibrated all the way to your cunt.

He was here, you were here. Physically.

You grinned as he trailed kisses over both your covered breast. “Take-fuck-take it off please, now right now” You felt the air leave your lungs when he simply broke the bra in half and met his reward, two beautifully round breasts he had craved more than any meal. Hellboy pressed his face between them and inhaled before leaving a series of bites and marks. Each time he bit down your raised your hips in search of friction.

The heaviness in the air, the warmth of him lapping and sucking at your breast. The heated tongue wrapping around a nipple. Hellboy devoured you, and if your breast had him like this...

“Baby please, wanna touch you too” Your hands ran down his back, sharp nails leaving a path. Hellboy shuddered as he left a nipple with a loud pop. “Go on, I’m all yours” That very comment sent a gush of heat and you bit your lip to hold a moan in.

You nudged him to lay on his back and you climbed on top of him. Hands running over your body, the feeling of that stone hand gently cupping your rear was enough to make you grind down on him with purpose.

“I promised you something every time we spoke, you remember what that was?” You rubbed yourself on him as you began to trail down his body. Hellboy’s eyes were fogged with lust. “Oh, you remember” You kissed his stomach, nails scratching his sides before hooking into the waistband of his underwear.

He was going to have a stroke.

Hellboy watched you slide his underwear down. Eyes hungry and mouth engulfing his cock. He bucked up without meaning to but you caught most of the onslaught by closing up your throat. A minor choke and you were back on track.

Fuck he was big and thick, you did your best swallowing as much as possible before settling the rest with your hand to jerk. The gut punched groan that left him egging you on. He saw your head bob, the way your lips stretched around his length, the blissed out look as you sucked earnestly. “Shit shit, you look beautiful” Hellboy reached a left hand across your cheek.

Letting him go with a breathy inhale, spit on your chin you jerked him lazily.

He was putting this look away for a rainy day. You had no right looking so utterly debauched and perfect.

“C’mere and kiss me, beautiful” Hellboy whispered softly and you obeyed crawling on him to meet him in a sensual slow lip lock.

Underwear gone, or more so also ripped apart. You were now on top of him about to guide his cock into your drenched hole. The initial burn was actually delicious, that breach between pain and pleasure sending a delightful shock through your body. Once fully seated on him you reveled in stretch and burn. “God this is, fuck I-“ You moaned as you tested with a sway of your hips, he was hitting your spot perfectly. You rested your hands on his chest and he gripped your waist.

Hellboy was gone, the sight of you riding him, lost in your pleasure caused by him nevertheless. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever see. Lost to it all you fell forwards, burying your face in his neck. Your impending release had you stuttering your hips. “I got you baby, I got you” He muttered against your ear. You moaned as he held you, hips pistoning upwards to drive that orgasm out of you.

It crashed something fierce, running all over your body and coming out as a scream against his neck. You felt limp as a noodle but held onto him as he fucked his way through yours. When he came he yanked another orgasm out of you along with his.

The two of you laid there, a mess of limbs clutching at each other. Hearts racing, lungs trying to catch up.

Exhaustion won. You fell a sleep on Hellboy, still inside of you, his mouth against your temple.

There was no turning back now.

#hellboy #hellboy x fem!reader #hellboy x reader insert #hellboy 2019 #hellboy x reader #female reader insert #reader insert #sequel fic #n*fw

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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years ago

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Cherry (Shinsou x Reader)

A/N: shinsou is my favorite, so im writing another one. reader is in a relationship with kirishima, but her best friend shinsou is in love with her and she is just beginning to realize she loves him back.

Ps- I really do feel the quality of my writing has been declining recently and im so sorry. I hope at least some of you can still enjoy.

Word count: 5500

__________________________

It was a long process, falling out of love with Kirishima. Every time Y/N felt things were about to come to an end, he would show up with a bouquet of roses and her favorite candies, or he would buy them tickets to see a movie she was desperate to see and he would slip his arm around her shoulders, and he just felt so warm and inviting. How could she be giving up on such a wonderful guy?

He was the perfect boyfriend. Had been for two years. Just why was she drifting away?

When he kissed her, she found herself more often than not just wanting it to be over. Hugs practically diminished on her end, followed by holding hands, and calling him when she was upset and needed someone to talk to.

Instead, she had reverted back to spending time with someone else. She felt like shit for it, not having realized how much she’d changed. Suddenly, when she felt the anxiety or fear of the hero world burdening her, she would call Shinsou Hitoshi. It was abnormal, really. They grew up on the same city block, and attended the same middle and high school. They were best friends.

They weren’t dating. Never had. Suddenly though, it felt like they should be.

She missed him, the close friendship they once had first year and prior. It wasn’t always that strong, this longing to see him, to talk to him, to have him wrap his arms around her and hold her tight against his chest. No no. She genuinely loved and wanted affection from Kirishima alone for a couple years. She was in love with him, that was never a lie.

Now her entire life felt backwards. She wanted the love of her best friend, and it weighed heavy on her. She felt guilty and disgusting for doing such a thing to Kirishima, who cared so much for her and always remained loyal. These new thoughts and feelings...she wished they would just go away.

But were they even new? She loved Shinsou as a friend for so long, but there were always hints of something more. To him, she was his first friend, the only one who took the time to get to know him and not just his villainous quirk. She was a kind soul, a generous girl with a smile that could rock anyone’s world. He was her rock, someone there to bring her down to Earth when things get overwhelming. He was calming and brave and ambitious, and she liked that in a friend. More so, she liked that about him. She liked everything about him, each flaw, each scar, each vulnerable moment.

There were certain aspects of their relationship she yearned for with Kirishima but couldn’t have. He wasn’t that deep. Their conversations felt empty and lonely most of the time. It’s not that he wasn’t smart, he just didn’t know what to say around her to spark her interest the way Shinsou made her shine.

She lied in her dorm that night, the lights turned off and only the faint glow of the moon shining through her window. She tried to shut her eyes and sleep, to forget all about these feelings in her dreams, but nothing would help her relax. Time and time again she tossed from one side to the other, checked her cell phone for messages only to see none, listened to the ticking of her clock on the wall. The sheets felt scratchy on her bare skin, and her pillow and mattress were suddenly uncomfortable beneath her weight.

Frustrated, she rolled out of bed and headed to the hall quietly, trying not to signal to the other dorms she was wandering. Maybe some water would do her some good, or some warm sleepytime tea to knock her out for the night. Sleep was something Y/N needed desperately.

As she turned the corner to enter the kitchen, she noticed a familiar mop of purple hair in the distance, attached to a lanky, heighty body she saw nearly everyday. He stood in an old school insignia t-shirt, leaning over the counter near the coffee maker.��

He was a weird guy, drinking coffee this late into the night. He never did sleep much though, everyone knew that. The bags under his eyes were evidence.

“Shinsou?”

He lifted his eyes from the counter, turning to look at the girl standing midway down the hallway. He was tired, just waiting for his drink to brew before heading back to his dorm. He was tired, but never enough to ignore her.

For hours that night, he just laid there with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling before he got up to move around. No use just laying in bed all night. He felt nervous being alone at night with her. There was always this bit of paranoia that Mina or Mineta would go and fabricate some rumor that Y/N was cheating on Kirishima with him. They were friends, and everyone knew that, but it was a thought that crossed his mind from time to time.

Normally, she would just come to his dorm when she wanted to talk this late, which used to be most nights. That's always what she did, even if she had to sneak around after curfew. Since she started dating though, it would have been weird for her to be inside some other guy’s dorm that late. People would talk if they saw her entering or exiting, and it would start some drama.

It just wasn’t worth it. Even though he yearned to feel her presence in person, to see her smiling face and her bright, shining eyes, it just wasn’t possible. That’s why he felt so nervous being seen alone with her at 3 am, the way teenagers talk...He just wished some people could mind their own fucking buisness and let him be a friend. For fuck’s sake.

So, nearly every night before either of them could fall asleep, she called him and just talked mindlessly for hours until one of them fell asleep on the phone (usually her). That night she hadn’t called him yet, and it made him anxious. Why wasn’t she calling him? Did something happen? Was she with Kirishima? He prayed she wasn’t in that guy’s room at this hour, doing God knows what.

He had no right to be jealous. He should just appreciate that she still wanted to be his friend.

Regardless, he was just happy she still spoke to him. She could have ditched him for her new boyfriend, he knew that very well, but she hadn’t. He took her attention for granted growing up, always having a friend to confide in. Suddenly, when she accepted Kirishima’s confession at the end of their first year, he felt his entire world crumbling around him. He never realized how much he needed her until that moment.

Admittedly, that day, his entire heart shattered into a million pieces for multiple reasons. He loved her. He wasn’t brave enough to confess to her yet, and suddenly that other guy swooped in and stole her right from under his nose. It’s not like he has the right to control who she went out with though. Nor did he have the right to be upset about it. She wasn’t his to begin with.

He just needed to stop being so selfish. He hated how this girl made him feel. He felt selfish and lonely and desperate. He found himself blushing when she spoke to him in class in front of other people, sometimes even staring at her when he thought no one was looking. Thankfully no one except Denki had noticed this. He promised to keep it a secret though.

He just couldn’t understand how she could love Kirishima. He just didn’t seem like her type at all. He was too wild, loud, and sociable. She was the opposite, and their relationship didn’t seem compatible whatsoever. It frustrated him.

He looked around the hallway to make sure no one else was there before, leaning against the counter and peering down at her. Her eyes were dulled from what appeared to be stress, and this only confirmed his suspicions that something had happened.

“Are you okay, Y/N? You didn’t call me tonight; I was worried about you.”

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her torso. She always did that when she was deep in thoughts or something was making her uncomfortable. He could only hope it wasn’t something serious. She bit her lip and looked at the wall, avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t know, Hitoshi. I really don’t know what I’ve been feeling lately,” she whispered. “I’m just so confused.”

“About what?”

She felt tears bubble up in the corners of her eyes, and she had to choke down a sob. Quickly, she wiped away her tears in an attempt to hide them and be strong, but she just couldn’t. Her eyes became soaked quickly, and hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks without any sign of stopping.

“I don’t know if I love Kirishima anymore. I don’t know what’s going on with me and why I'm doubting my relationship like this,” she cried, trying to keep her voice down to avoid any eavesdropping. He peered down the hallway again to see no one and no lights on.

“Did something happen?”

She just shook her head again, pressing her hands to her eyes and letting out another sob. “No. He’s been so nice to me as usual. He always compliments me and takes me out on dates, but lately it just doesn’t feel the same,” she explained, “When he hugs me, I just want to push him away. And he’s always asking for kisses, and I can’t give them to him anymore. Just the thought of kissing him makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

“Oh.” How could he respond to that. It felt too personal, too intimate for him to be hearing. Guilt built up in his chest as she spoke more and more.

“It just feels so wrong, Eijirou touching me.”

He didn’t know what to say. They seemed to have a perfect relationship. He never doubted if they would stay together or not. it always seemed so obvious, so hopelessly obvious that she loved him. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“I just don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m so confused all the time.”

“About what?”

“I-I…” Honestly, she was confused because recently she felt herself wanting Shinsou to hold her instead, to ask her for kisses and hold her hand, for him to be the only one to make her laugh and smile. She missed going to his room late at night and talking to him until the sun came up. She wanted him. And it made her feel so fucking shitty. How could she just abandon Eijirou because she was in love with someone else all along?

She couldn’t possibly tell Shinsou that. Not only would she lose her boyfriend, but also her best friend in the entire world. She couldn’t handle that type of loss.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself,” the boy assured her, placing a hand on her upper arm. She shook off his hand and instead reached out to hold his hand in hers. Immediately, he could feel the tremors running down her arm and through her hand. “Just take a deep breath. Calm down, this isn’t a crisis.”

“I don’t want to break his heart, Hitoshi. He’s treated me so good, and he’s such a nice guy. I feel so bad.”

“You’ll only make it worse for him if you stay with him and continue lying, saying you love him,” he sighed, thinking over the situation without bias. Sure, he wanted them to break up, but in reality, how could he do such thing to a friend like Kirishima? “But if you think you might fall in love with him again, I don’t know what you should do. Maybe talk to him about how-”

“I shouldn’t stay with him.”

“If that’s how you feel…” he trailed off. It seemed she was going to break up with him. He didn’t know whether to be upset or relieved. On one hand, she wouldn’t need to split her attention between Kirishima and him. On the other hand, it wasn’t like she would go out with him. They were just friends this whole time, and it would be weird for him to ask her out right after she got out of a relationship.

She sucked up her tears, sobs turning to little sniffles and tears drying up on her cheeks. She still held his hand, squeezing every now and then. He knew he shouldn’t let her do this. He should have just stayed in bed. He felt scandalous standing here in the dark with her, holding her hand and telling her to break up with her boyfriend. He wasn’t a homewrecker by any means. Right now he sure felt like one.

Finally, when she was done crying, she took her hand away from his and wrapped it back around her waist. “Do you know what it feels like to be in love with someone?” she asked him so softly he almost didn’t hear her, and his train of thoughts diminished. She didn’t look him in the eyes once again, finding it too intimate to do so.

“Yes.”

Her eyes widened a bit, and suddenly, she felt her heart sink in her chest. She wasn’t the only one who had fallen in love with someone else it seemed. To be upset about that was wrong, that much was obvious. Was it right for her to be upset when she had dated this whole time and he was alone? She scolded herself, angry for even having such thoughts.

“Really? You’re in love with someone?”

“I’ve only ever been in love with one person almost my whole life, at least, I’m pretty sure it’s love,” he confessed, feeling his heart thump in his chest. He couldn’t believe he was telling her this. Her of all people did not need to know how he felt. He might end up letting it slip that the true object of his affections was her. This whole time, nearly three years of knowing each other, she was the one he longed for. “It used to make me feel so happy, but now it just makes me sick.”

“Why did you never tell me? We-we never used to keep secrets,” Y/N asked quietly, despite not having any right to question his privacy like that. She had more than enough secrets herself.

“Just wasn’t worth talking about.”

Silence for a moment, tense and frustrated silence besides the harsh post-cry breaths from her lips.

“Do they love you back?”

“My guess is no.”

“That sucks,” she breathed, letting out a breath of air she was holding. “Who is it?”

“You really don’t want to know, Y/N,” he told her. “You should be going to bed. It’s late and you have a lot of thinking to do.”

“O-okay. I guess you’re right. “ She took a few steps back, biting her lip. Her heart felt as if it beat loud and echoed in the hallway. Her head was spinning with thoughts and fears and a strange sense of hope. She cared for Hitoshi, more than she cared for anyone else. He was her best friend. The way he looked at her, she’d always wondered what it meant. He’d been in love for a while now. It all made her feel an awful kind of nauseous in the pits of her stomach.

She had one more question to ask.

“Is the person you love me?”

And suddenly time stopped. He felt his heart skip a beat, and stress build up in his chest. Why would she ask that? Put him in that sort of position? He couldn’t betray Kirishima like that. He would never be the bad guy. He clenched his fist by his side, and resisted the urge to tell her the truth, to confess everything he had ever felt, all the heartbreak and the jealousy and the long nights missing her.

Instead, he lied.

“No, it’s someone else. Now go to bed.” After he said those words, she didn’t even bother to say goodbye, she just walked away with her head hung low. She turned the corner to go to her dorm room and he stayed where he was. He rubbed his hand over his eyes and his nose, trying to calm himself down.

After a couple seconds, Denki walked out from the living room. He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking to his friend who was obviously confused and upset. “Dude...”

“Kaminari, don’t say anything about it.”

“I swear, I won't,” he assured, raising his hands in front him innocently. “Listen, I-I don’t know how you’re feeling right now, Shinsou, but uh, if it means anything, I hope it gets better for you.”

The purple eyed boy looked down at his friend curiously. “What do you mean? Nothing is wrong with me.”

Kaminari pushed his bands back over his head and sighed, “Trust me, we all saw how heartbroken you were when she started going out with Kirishima. It must suck to have to deny it over and over again.” His heart stung at the words, feeling so harsh and bitter in his ears. It had been a long time since he thought about the anger and frustration he felt toward the situation, how furious he was when he lost his chance, and how stupid he felt watching them together each day. To be so unloved. It felt so fucking pathetic.

“I don’t really give a shit either way,” he mumbled.

The blond rolled his eyes, feeling the negativity roll of his friend in waves. “Yeah, okay.”

“It’s really not important either way. What matters is that she’s happy, and no one fucking cheats on anyone. We’re all friends here, and I’ll make sure there are no mistakes on my end.”

There was silence for a moment, thoughts running through both their heads. They both knew how important this was to him, and the pain of his heartbreaking was almost palpable. He clenched his fist at his sides, trying not to lose his cool. He wasn’t going to let something like this ruin his life, even if it tried its hardest to. He still had her a friend, she still cared about him; why was he so upset? So what if they weren’t dating? He should just appreciate that.

“If she breaks up with Kirishima...what then?” Kaminari asked tentatively.

“Most likely, nothing.”

“You won’t tell her?”

“Hell no.”

“Why?”

“It’s better to have her happy with me as a friend than to tell her how I feel and ruin everything. I’m content with what we have, and my parents are proud of me for having a friend like her. I don’t want to imagine if we had a fall out and suddenly she’s not there anymore. I’d be so ashamed and alone again.”

“What if she confesses to you?”

“Then I’ll give her all the love I have.”

__________________________________________________

For days, Y/N had thought about the conversation she had to Shinsou the other night, where she confessed her falling out of love with her boyfriend. Her heart was confused, and it pained her to think that she would have to tell Kirishima soon. She found herself biting her nails more often and skipping meals out of stress. It was ridiculous to panic this much over something as trivial as a break up, but she was so afraid of breaking his heart.

Kirishima, since the beginning, was nothing but a sweetheart. He complimented her, and walked her to class, helped her with all her training, and made sure she was always content. He was tolerably affectionate while still being respectful. He made her smile, and that was a lot considering these past few years had brought anger and depression. He was so kind and sweet, and she hated doing this to him.

As she walked into the common room, she noticed it was practically vacant except for Uraraka and Tenya studying at the table and Kirishima munching on some chips by the television. He was peering down at his phone, scrolling through some photos. She bit her lip, peering behind her as if to escape the situation at hand.

Was it time? Had she waited long enough to think her decision over? Was she still in love with him or had her feeling completely gone away? She felt strongly that she didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with him, yet the impending life change of being single without the redhead by her side was daunting. She was scared of leading him on, but at the same time, the loneliness almost made her stay.

After a long breath, she walked over to the couch and took a tentative seat beside him, maintaining a foot or so of distance between them which previously would have been filled, her squished to his side with his arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, Y/N-chan,” he smiled, “Want some?” He held out his bag of snacks, only for her to shake her head.

“What’re you looking at?” she asked, peeking over at his phone screen. He held it up, showing some family insta photos. “Ah, okay.”

“Yeah, my cousin uploaded some holiday photos, and I’m just going through them,” he commented, showing her another photo of him and his aunt at the beach wading through the ocean water.

She opened her mouth to say something before shutting it, taking in the photo for another second. Kirishima looked great there, so full of life and free. Her heart clenched again, thinking about how, if she were to break up with him, she would miss those joyous smiles directed at her. She winced, avoiding eye contact, “You all look so happy.”

“Yeah, we were.” He nodded, shutting his phone off with a click. Carefully, it tucked the phone into his pocket and shifted in his spot to face her, one leg folding to rest on the couch while the other still hung off. “Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask- You’ve been off lately. Sad.”

“I-I didn’t think you noticed. I’m sorry,” Y/N mumbled, finding her fingers in her lap very interesting all of the sudden. She felt his index finger tap gently on her shoulder, and her eyes slid up to meet his for a moment. He wasn’t upset. He held a soft smile on his face and his eyes hadn’t lost their shine. “I-I actually have something to tell you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She raised her head, her eyes a bit wider than before. “Oh, okay. You can go first then.” Maybe he would say something that could convince her to stay with him, she thought. Maybe what he had to say could turn this entire thing around and make her change her mind, forget all her doubts.

That was impossible, and she knew it.

“I think we should break up.”

She felt her heart stop beating in her chest.

What?

That was one of the only things she hadn’t imagined coming out of his mouth. He still smiled at her as she spoke, and she felt shocked and tense. How could he be so calm, saying something like that?

All she could muster out was a soft, “Why?”, too emotional to think of much else and speak it coherently.

“Because you’re not in love with me, and that’s okay,” he sighed, placing a hand on the shoulder, his hand running up and down her arm soothingly. She felt the kind, but curious eyes of Ochako lift to watch the interaction, and Y/N couldn’t blame her for wanting to eavesdrop. Y/N was terrified. Despite his gentle and calm nature, she worried she had done something wrong to make him hate her, wanting to break up.

She whispered, “B-But, Eijirou, I do love you.” but, God, was she confused. She didn’t love him, but she didn’t want to deny years of her life either. “I-I don’t know anymore, but-”

“It’s okay. I know you aren’t in love with me,” he told her, stopping her from rambling on any longer. “It’s always been about him, hasn’t it?”

“Him?”

“Shinsou, obviously. We all could see how he felt about you, but I thought maybe you just saw him as a friend and I was willing to fall in love with you,” he sighed. “But, I knew you missed him. I knew you had a special relationship with him that you and I could never have.”

“Eijirou, you don’t understand. I always loved you. Shinsou was my friend, and yeah, I missed our close relationship, but I enjoyed every second with you. I loved you so much.”

“I know. I’m not saying you didn’t. I’m just saying that maybe you can love two people at the same time, and one person will always be more important deep down” he suggested. “You never cheated on me, of course. You’re not the type of girl, and Shinsou definitely isn’t the kind of guy to steal someone’s girl.”

“I-I’m so sorry,” she cracked, placing her hand over her eyes to avoid his. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I wanted to be with you forever. God, I loved you so much, Eijirou.” Tears had pooled in her eyes and she let them drip down silently, soaking them up with the sleeve of her sweater. “I realized a couple months ago how I felt about him but I tried not to acknowledge it. I thought it was gone, but it’s not, and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

He reached over, wrapped his hand around her, moving her hand from her face. “It’s okay. Sure, I’m gonna miss you a lot, but it’s okay.”

“I don’t get it. Why aren’t you upset with me? I betrayed you,” she asked, staring into his eyes. He only eased further, his brows softening, fingers squeezing around her tighter.

“I can’t even be mad. That guy, he loves you more than anything. He has since before I met you. You are his entire world, and I’d be damned to take that away from him.”

She stopped him, her brows furrowing. “Shinsou doesn’t like me like that. He told me himself.” She felt her becoming more confused than before. How could Kirishima be so sure about Shinsou’s feelings for her when they weren’t true? She did love Shinsou, that was the truth, but she didn’t have a chance with him.

“Are you kidding?”

Shaking her head, she assured him, “No. He told me he was in love with someone and it wasn’t me.”

“You should talk to him again. Like, go now. Find him.”

She shook her head, but he was already pulling her by the arm from the couch. “Baby, Y/N, I care about you, and I’m making you find Shinsou and be happy, and you better not fuck it up,” he explained, pushing her forward a bit so she stumbled away from the couch and toward the hall. She turned to look over her shoulder, the redhead smiling and waving for her to move forward with the task at hand.

Ochako caught her eye, who was looking at her beside a bored Tenya. She sent over the shyest of smiles and nodded encouragingly. Y/N felt embarrassed, realizing that the entire class knew about their supposed connection before she did, and even now he had a hard time accepting it. Shinsou Hitoshi was not in love with her. It was impossible. He never mentioned it or let off that he cared for her anything other than a childhood friend.

She pulled out her phone from her pocket, and searched for his contact. The dial rang in her ear, and she was tempted to hang up before he could answer, run to her room, and pretend nothing even happened. She feared so much change, and it seemed so much easier and safer to hide under her covers and sleep until everything went back to normal.

“Hello?”

“Hitoshi, where are you?” she asked, her voice just barely quivering.

“Uh, I’m outside on the lawn with Midoriya and Todor-”

She hung up the phone before he could say anything else. She rushed down the hallway, an urgency to each step she took, steps closer to the purple haired boy she cared so much for, her best friend. She was so scared, she could feel her teeth clicking and goosebumps bubbling up on her arms, the hairs standing on end into her long sleeves. The sun shining through the door was all too bright for such a situation, and she had to squint as she left the building out the backdoor.

Indeed, across the lawn were the 3 boys, sitting together on the ground with empty bottles of water lying amongst them. Todoroki stood with a wet towel slung over his shoulder, sweat soaking through his tank top. Meanwhile, Midoriya sat with his notebook in front of him scribbling down quick notes no doubt things he’d taken note of during training moments before.

She felt exposed in front of the other boys, but honestly what other eyes could she care about than the violet ones drawn right on her scrambling figure.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked as she approached. She came to sudden halt right at his feet, her arms crossed over each other to hug her torso tightly, trying to quell down the ripples of anxiety coursing through her. Now, as she stood in front of him, she felt excitement building up in her stomach, butterflies (as cliche as it sounds) tossing and turning.

“Hitoshi, you lied to me, and-and you need to tell me the truth.”

“Lied? About what, Shinsou?” Midoriya asked, peeking up from his book for a moment to get in on the action.

Shinsou shook his head, not quite sure what she was talking about. He noticed the dried stains of tears on her cheeks, and the way her body was tucked inward, practically hiding from him. He racked his mind for answers, but he couldn’t think of that she could possibly be talking about.

As she stared down at him, she felt power surge through her, courage to confront him. The words tumbled from her mouth before she could even think about censoring herself. It didn’t cross her mind that their friends were gathered around. The only thing she could think about was him. “You’re in love with me. You’ve always been in love with me, haven’t you?”

“Y/N, what-”

“Just tell me,” she said, “Kirishima just fucking broke up with me because of you.”

He stood from his spot on the ground, and suddenly he towered over her. Yet, she wasn’t intimidated. She just stared up at him as his face morphed into one of horror and shock. “Listen, Y/N, I had nothing to do with Kirishima breaking up with you. Don’t go blaming me-”

“He broke up with me because I’m in love with you. I love you, Hitoshi, Jesus, I really do.” It was completely silent. Midoriya sat there on the ground in shock, his mouth fallen open and his eyes widely staring at her. Shinsou only stood there, the words she had just spoken rolling through his mind over and over again. “I should have told you the other night when we talked, but everything you said changed my mind.”

When Kaminari suggested that she might confess to him, he completely brushed it off. There was no way she could feel the same way about him. They were friends. She dated people this whole time without ever showing any signs of wanting anything more than friendship. But somehow, everyone knew but him.

“I-I thought I loved Eijirou, but it was always you. I feel so stupid not realizing all this time.”

He finally spoke, voice quiet, hesitant, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N, you really wasted 3 years of my life, didn’t you?” he asked. Her eyes widened, and she looked to him with surprise written all over her face. Was he angry, she worried, hugging herself tighter just in case. Before she could make a move, he had brought his hands up, one resting on her cheek while the other pressed to the back of her head, pinky finger skimming her neck and sending shivers down her spine.

He leant down and pressed his warm lips to hers. Her entire body stiffened at the sudden and unexpected touch, but just as quickly as it came, he had relaxed into his grasp. For a moment, she kissed him back, lips moving ever so gently across his own, the smell of minty gum filling her senses.

As he pulled away, she relished in the taste of his tongue on her lips, running her own along her bottom lip.

“I-I see,” she stuttered, not daring to make eye contact now after that. How embarrassing.

“Yes, I lied,” he confessed, “I have loved you for so long, Y/N. God, I wish you would have realized sooner how you felt.”

She nodded, peering up into his eyes shyly. His shone so brightly with happiness and pride, and she felt her heart swell up in her chest. “I really missed you, Shinsou.”

“I missed you, too.”

#shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinsou hitoshi #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero #x reader #x y/n #reader insert #im sorry i use passive voice im such a dumb piece of shit

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my-happy-little-bean · 5 years ago

Text

Blossom

pairings: logan/patton (logicality) (because im trash) words: 2776 warnings: swearing, panic attack, implied toxic parental relationship, mention of an implied suicide attempt, fighting summary:

blos·som /ˈbläsəm/

verb - to produce flowers or masses of flowers. - to develop in a promising way

Or: the five times Logan couldn’t see the flowers, and the one time he did.

a/n- hello! i hope you are all doing well during this strange quaran-time! i present to you, my first non-golden slumbers flower-related fic (still logicality tho,,, y'all can rip that pairing out of my dead, cold hands :pp). i had a really strange dream last night that had something to do with this concept and hey, you know what i do with dreams :p

i hope you enjoy it ^v^

read on ao3~

---------

dedicated to the one bit of starlight that always remembers to water my garden

~*~

Logan was halfway up the porch stairs when Patton mentioned the flowers for the first time.

“I’m telling you, Lo!” Patton followed Logan into their new house, carrying boxes behind him. “They were little yellow daffodils, just sprouting behind you as you walked! It was so pretty!”

“Patton, it takes twelve to fifteen weeks for daffodils to bloom after chilling,” Logan said pointedly, setting his own boxes down by an old, tattered couch in the living room. “Besides, even if there were some growing, I would be more concerned that there is something prompting growth underneath our house.”

Patton giggled, putting his boxes down beside Logan’s. He wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist from the back, going on the tips of his toes to kiss the back of his neck.

“Our home,” he murmured in Logan’s skin. Logan smiled.

“Yes,” he said, looking around at their surroundings. “It is...a start.”

“It’ll be more than that soon enough!” Patton chirped, taking Logan’s hand and spinning himself underneath it with a squeal. Logan couldn’t help smile, moving his arm more purposefully to properly spin Patton around until he was standing right in front of him.

“I’m so happy,” Patton said with a sigh and that lopsided smile; the smile that proved to Logan that he could at least feel love.

“I am happy that you are happy, dear.” He pressed his forehead against Patton’s and kissed his nose lightly. “Now, we must continue on, or we will be late to the neighbourhood barbeque Janene invited us to.”

“Janene?”

“Our neighbour, remember?”

Patton made a small ‘ah’ noise and nodded enthusiastically, already skipping past Logan to grab some more boxes outside.

As he watched him go, Logan sighed; he could definitely love. He could love with all of the love the world had to offer him, for as long as they were offering. He could love the softest, most gentle creature he knew; one who moved with such grace and one whose mind and heart and soul was overwhelmingly admirable.

Yes, he could love him.

And he loved him.

“Logan! There’s pink roses on our roof!”

---------

According to Janene, the whole neighbourhood could see the flowers.

It was a special kind of phenomenon that no one outside the small town of Khloris ever noticed. But if you had a house on its terrain, you apparently had flowers growing underneath your feet. Upon mentioning Patton’s observations at the neighbourhood barbeque, Janene had explained the rumours that it was the land’s way of “observing” or “understanding” its habitants. Whatever that meant.

Logan found it borderline infuriating that no one had pursued further research on the matter; that people just walked around their neighbourhoods, complimenting each others’ seemingly magical gardens.

What was even more infuriating was that everyone just...accepted it. Embraced it, even. As if it was normal to hallucinate flowers growing on vines across your windows.

He was still unable to see these flowers, if they even existed. And while he wasn’t keen on keeping a sense of distrust between himself and his partner (he would have stopped playing along if Patton shared his same view) he couldn’t help but remain skeptical.

(He would never admit it to Patton, but the reason he had purchased that rather expensive machine off of Amazon was so he could test the contents of the air in certain areas of the town. It didn’t prove anything abnormal, but it was an interesting experiment.

He read his findings out loud to Patton one night, and Patton listened to every word.

And when Logan left for work the next morning, Patton complimented the chrysanthemums trailing behind him.)

Still, he didn’t have much choice other than to embrace the absurdity floating in their town. Besides, it was mostly harmless. And, more often than not, it served as the backdrop to some of the most joyful moments they had.

“Why, yellow!” Patton exclaimed as he greeted Logan on the steps to their house. “Someone has an extra poppy in their step today, huh?”

“First of all, I believe you mean ‘hello’; the standard greeting which is first exchanged between individuals seeing each other,” Logan hummed. Then, he leaned over to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Second of all...hello, dearest.”

“Hiya!” Patton giggled. Logan watched as the spot he kissed flushed a soft shade of pink. “How was work?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile. “It was...very satisfactory.”

“Very satisfactory?” Patton rocked back and forth on the heels of his feet, immediately ecstatic. “Not just satisfactory?”

“Mhm.”

“Ooh that and the yellow poppies behind you! You must have good news!” Patton beamed. “Come, come sit with me! Tell me all about your very satisfactory day!”

Usually, Logan would politely decline, telling him that he had to first shower and prepare dinner as he always did after work. And it was almost second-nature to ignore the ever-growing amount of flower observations from Patton.

But he couldn’t help but oblige upon seeing Patton rush over to their small, wooden porch swing, nearly knocking into his ball of yarn and newest knitting project. That and he did have good news. Very good news, in fact.

“Tell me about your day first,” Logan insisted as he sat down beside him, setting his briefcase at his feet. “I would rather celebrate a mutual achievement than selfishly intrude with my singular one.”

“Intrude?” Patton nudged him lightly. “Well, you’re not being int-rude if you do! So don’t worry about that kind of intrusion-confusion you’re on about, mister!”

“...did you eat the cookies Janene sent us?”

“Several.”

Logan shook his head. “She puts too much chocolate in those, you know. And those pastries surpass the recommended amount of sugar one should digest in a day.”

“I know! ”

Logan couldn’t help but laugh at how starry-eyed his Patton looked. Patton gently rocked the swing back and forth, then lifted his legs to sit cross-legged on the cushions once it gained enough momentum.

“Anyway, my day was alright!” Patton chirped. “Had a breakthrough with a client today! It’s been a slow couple of weeks, but I think things are looking up!”

“That is fantastic news, Patton.” Logan leaned his head against Patton’s shoulder, placing a hand on his thigh and smiling. “You’re doing an exceptional job.”

“Aw, Lo!” Patton giggled again. “You’re gonna make me grow peonies everywhere.”

Second-nature. Logan just chuckled.

“Now! We must celebrate you!” Patton lifted Logan’s head off his shoulder and held his hands into his own. “Tell me everything!”

A pause. Logan felt as if he too was holding his breath.

“Well, do you recall that promotion I recently inquired about at my work?”

Patton’s eyes widened.

“Shut up.”

Logan broke into a wide grin, finally exhaling as he nodded. Patton squealed, practically lunging at Logan to give him a tight hug.

“Shut up shut up shut uppp!!!”

“Do you...actually want me to–”

“No!” Patton gasped, pulling back to hold Logan in front of him by his shoulders. His grin almost hurt to look at. “Never ever ever shut up!”

“Then why did you–”

“I’m excited, you goofball!” Patton brushed the hair out of Logan’s eyes with a small giggle. “Besides, if I’m shushing anything, it’s the guilty feeling in your head that I can hear from a mile away.

(Fuck. He could love him forever.)

“Be proud of yourself, silly.” Patton wrapped Logan into another hug. Despite being shaken around so much, Logan couldn’t help but laugh. “Gosh, you deserve this so so much– I’m so proud of you.”

Logan’s breath hitched.

“You…”

Patton drew himself back ever-so-slightly, leaving a mere inch between him and Logan. He smiled.

“I’m always proud of you, Logan.” He kissed Logan’s nose, sending a rush of warmth throughout his entire being.

He then looked down at the spaces between each wooden plank of the porch and smiled.

“Peonies,” he whispered, resting his forehead against Logan’s. “I’m happy too, Lo. So so so happy.”

---------

“Patton, take a deep breath.”

“He–” Patton gasped, wrapping his arms around himself– “how– I can’t–”

“Patton.” Logan took the phone out of Patton’s hand and held them, squeezing gently. “Patton, let’s sit down, please–”

“Don’t touch me!“ Patton sobbed, pulling his hands back and covering his mouth. Tears rolled down his cheeks and over his hands. He began backing away from Logan. “It’s– I’m a– I’m–”

“Patton–”

“Fuck,” Patton choked out, stumbling past Logan and heading in the direction of their backyard. “I can’t– I need–”

Logan just nodded, carefully catching up to him and clearing out as much clutter as he could so Patton wouldn’t get hurt. He slid open their backyard door for Patton to rush through.

The cool, evening air hit Logan almost sharply, and he hoped that Patton could feel the same thing. He watched from a hesitant distance as Patton fell to his knees on their grass, folding into himself like a ball and clutching at each strand.

(He doesn’t need you to make this worse. "You don’t know how to feel, after all.”)

“Hey,” Logan finally said. He walked over to the grass and sat a comfortable distance away from Patton. “Is this enough space?”

Patton didn’t lift his head, but he nodded. Logan sighed.

“...What happens outside your workplace is not your responsibility.”

Patton let out a huge sob; one that felt like it echoed through the whole neighbourhood.

Fuck. Logan cleared his throat.

“Tell me about the flowers,” he blurted out. Patton lifted his head slightly.

“The–”

“The flowers,” Logan said again, even less sure of himself. “Tell me what they...what they look like to you right now.”

Patton let out a scratchy laugh. “You don’t believe in the stupid flowers.”

Logan’s heart broke.

(He didn’t, but he believed in him.)

“Tell me about them anyway,” he said insistently. “I assume they are in our presence, no?”

Patton sighed and, after seemingly deliberating his offer, sat up; his hands firmly gripping the grass they were sitting on. He looked around him, all spacey in that way that used to scare Logan. (It still does, but he at least knows enough about it that it’s not as worrisome.)

Finally, he spoke up.

“I– I see marigolds,” he whispered. “And– and yellow carnations.”

Logan closed his eyes in thought for a second and then opened them with a sigh.

“My dear,” he whispered, scooting a bit closer to him. “It is normal to feel grief and disappointment. Those are common reactions to a tragic occurrence such as this. I am so deeply sorry that you have to experience this because you do not deserve this, my starlight.”

Patton curled even more into himself.

“But what is important is that he is still here,” Logan continued. “And I am going to be here to assist you with whatever you need in order for you to cope during this difficult time.”

He watched as Patton took a deep breath; the first one in hours. When he exhaled, he felt as if the air around him grew still and less frigid.

“I already know with absolute certainty that I will witness you lift yourself up when we make it through this; stronger than you were ever before.” He moved closer to him again. “You did not fail, no – we are simply just trying again.”

A beat of silence. Patton sniffled. “T-There’s purple hyacinths now.”

Logan sadly smiled. A common one with Patton.

“You do not have to apologize.” He patted the space next to him. “I’m here. And so are you.”

Patton sobbed a bit more, but eventually smiled through his tears and curled up in Logan’s lap. Logan held Patton and leaned over to press a kiss in his hair.

“I got you,” he murmured in his curls. He felt Patton settle into his lap, the tenseness in his shoulders loosening. He ran his hands through his hair, kissing it again and again every few seconds.

“Forever?” He heard Patton mumble. He smiled.

“And a little bit after that,” he whispered back.

And they sat there for a while, underneath the starry skies above them, in what Logan assumed was a sea of yellow and purple flowers. Though, he was never really sure.

Later on, Patton asked him how he knew what each flower meant. And Logan, who would never admit to researching floriography (or to any accomplishment at all), just said it was a coincidence.

---------

Patton rarely got mad; but when he did, Logan could only assume there were petunias everywhere.

“You–”

“Patton, please, not today–”

“NO!” His voice bounced off the walls and hit Logan in the chest. He shut up immediately. “Just...please– please tell me you’re joking.”

Logan averted his glance. “...I had to speak with them.”

“With your parents?! “ Patton screamed. “Who– who haven’t even bothered to call you in the last, what, five years?! “

“Patton, I–”

“You promised you’d never talk to them again,” Patton hissed. “I thought we agreed that– that it’d be wrong to. Because they were miserable people– people who– who made you miserable.”

He stung more than any thorn ever could. Logan tried to imagine some growing through the floors, as if trying to sympathize with what he could be experiencing. Of course he was angry. What Logan did was stupid. And he didn’t even mention the outcome…

“They’re my parents, Patton,” he said instead. He tried to plant his feet to the floor firmly, but Patton’s pacing made him shrivel up where he stood.

“They are not your parents,” Patton snapped. His breathing was sharp and quick. “Parents– parents don’t just tell their kid that they don’t have the capacity to feel– parents don’t kick their kid out of their fucking house and– and abandon them and leave them to be fixed by someone else.”

Logan’s breath hitched.

“I…” He tried not to let it hurt him, but seeing Patton also wince at his own words made him feel somewhat validated in his pain. Still, he stood his ground.

“I did not ask you to fix me,” Logan whispered, just as sharply; as if to get him back.

Stupid.

“Logan.” Patton’s voice was even more troubling when it was quiet. “How could you...”

“It’s true.” (Why was he still talking?!) “I didn’t need you to–”

But he never finished.

Because that’s all it took for Patton to leave.

Patton found Logan outside in their backyard, surrounded by roses.

Roses of every colour; yellow, pink, blue, black, and white. The grass underneath his feet was bright green– in fact, everything around him was bright.

“L-Logan, what–”

And that was when he saw the ring.

“Patton.” It came out as a loud, choked sob.

Patton took a shaky step towards Logan, who shakily got on one knee.

“What are you…”

To his surprise, Logan laughed.

“We– we were never really good at appropriate timing, were we?”

Patton covered his mouth with wide eyes.

“I called my parents,” Logan began shakily, “because I wanted to tell them that I was going to marry you.”

Patton’s breath hitched.

“You were right,” he continued, wiping his eyes. “Parents don’t do any of the things you had mentioned a-and I know I broke that promise we made out of good intent but…” He sighed. “But they are my parents. And I wanted them to be part of this moment.”

He closed his eyes, almost shamefully.

“Ultimately, it was out of spite, wasn’t it?” He laughed quietly. “In the end, I just wanted to prove to them that I could.”

“C-Could what?”

Logan stood up from his place and smiled. “That I could feel.”

A wide grin spread across Patton’s face.

“Oh, Logan…” He sobbed, rushing over to hold Logan’s hands. He giggled as Logan’s glasses fogged up from him crying, and he reached over to take them off, opting to rest them lopsided on his head. Logan laughed again through his tears.

“Patton,” he whispered, looking up in his eyes. “I feel everything with you. I– I feel perfect, unadulterated happiness and love when I am with you. I feel joy, I feel peace, I feel...I feel things that I didn’t even know exist– ”

He held Patton’s hands and took a deep breath.

“I feel everything for– for you.” Logan rested his forehead against Patton’s and broke into laughter as their tears fell to the ground. “I want to feel everything with you– the ups, the downs, everything– for the rest of my life.”

---------

And as Patton kissed him, Logan watched as a rainbow of colours blossomed around their home.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #logan sanders #patton sanders #logan/patton #logicality #logic/morality #flower...AU?#idk what this is #but its sure as hell cute :p #gabbie writes things

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jail-crow-of-mandos · 4 years ago

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Is Caranthir Autistic Or Am I Just Projecting: An Autobiography

Yup, here it is. My long-promised autistic Caranthir meta. Although I’m not sure how much of a meta it can be considering Caranthir is only mentioned by name 24 times in the entire Silmarillion, outside of the name index at the end. So here’s the plan: we’re gonna go through every time he’s mentioned and see if it tells us anything about potentially being autistic.

Before we begin. here is the DSM list of requirements for being diagnosed as autistic. Considering how few times we see Caranthir doing stuff in day to day life, odds are we won’t get to the level required for full diagnosis, but it certainly can help support it as a theory.

Requirements:

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction,

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships

At least two of the following: Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech, Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus, Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

With that being said, let’s start at the beginning:

“The seven sons of Fëanor were Maedhros the tall; Maglor the mighty singer, whose voice was heard far over land and sea; Celegorm the fair, and Caranthir the dark; Curufin the crafty, who inherited most of his father’s skill of hand; and the youngest Amrod and Amras, who were twin brothers, alike in mood and face. In later days they were great hunters in the woods of Middle-earth; and a hunter also was Celegorm [...]”

“[Regarding the Oath] Thus spoke Maedhros and Maglor and Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir, Amros and Amras, princes of the Noldor [...]”

Okay these two tell us absolutely nothing about Caranthir in particular, at least for this particular topic. Moving swiftly along.

“But Caranthir, who loved not the sons of Finarfin, and was the harshest of the brothers and the most quick to anger, cried aloud: ‘Yea more! Let not the sons of Finarfin run hither and thither with their tales to this dark Elf in his caves! Who made them our spokesmen to deal with him? And though they be come indeed to Beleriand, let them not so swiftly forget that their father is a lord of the Noldor, though their mother be of other kin”

Now we’re finally getting to the good part. Let’s start at the beginning. “Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity”. Yep. To put that in layman’s terms, it means to have trouble understanding how to navigate conversations in a normal way, often talking out of turn or speaking too harshly. This falls into both of those. On top of that, it also shows signs of “Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships”. He is clearly misreading the situation and attacking Angrod for no real reason outside of being mad about everything. This is not how you speak to a stranger, especially not a diplomat.

One could even argue that it could show signs of “Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior”” and “Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction”. The former could be argued because one could say that he has fallen into a comfortable pattern, and the idea of changing it is deeply distressing to him, hence why he lashed out. The idea of changes happening that he didn’t directly have a say in causes him to panic and react with anger. As far as the latter one goes, given Maedhros’s initial response to Angrod as well as him trying to calm Caranthir down afterwards, one can reasonably assume that his body language was telling his brothers to stay calm and cordial. Caranthir either ignored this deliberately (which would strengthen the prior argument that he struggles maintaining and understanding relationships, given the authority Maedhros has over him) or he simply could not pick up on the nonverbal cues that Maedhros was giving.

“Now the people of Caranthir dwelt furthest east beyond the upper waters of Gelion, about Lake Helevorn under Mount Rerir and to the southward; and they climbed the heights of Ered Luin and looked eastward in wonder, for wild and wide it seemed to them were the lands of Middle-earth. And thus it was that Caranthir's people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand. But though either people loved skill and were eager to learn, no great love was there between them; for the Dwarves were secret and quick to resentment, and Caranthir was haughty and scarce concealed his scorn for the unloveliness of the Naugrim, and his people followed their lord. Nevertheless since both peoples feared and hated Morgoth they made alliance, and had of it great profit; for the Naugrim learned many secrets of craft in those days, so that the smiths and masons of Nogrod and Belegost became renowned among their kin, and when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand all the traffic of the dwarf-mines passed first through the hands of Caranthir, and thus great riches came to him.”

So this is the part that led to all of the Caranthir loving money jokes, which ultimately led to there being a Caranthir/money tag on AO3. (No, really.) That said, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, it’s pretty reasonable to think that Caranthir’s love for planning and economics go beyond average, so let’s assume for a moment that economics are his special interest. This would fill the third elective requirement: “Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus”. Or, in other words, having a special interest. But beyond that, him not even trying to hide his distaste for the Dwarves clearly shows a lack of basic diplomacy, which we’ve been over before. He has severely lacking social skills. Plus, choosing to be hostile towards a group that have the exact same interests as him proves that he struggles with change, or at the very least forming interpersonal bonds, even if he did form an alliance with them in the end (which only goes to show how strong his special interest is).

“Therefore the Noldor held strength of cavalry In the plains at that place; and the people of Caranthir fortified the mountains to the east of Maglor's Gap. There Mount Rerir, and about it many lesser heights, stood out from the main range of Ered Lindon westward; and in the angle between Rerir and Ered Lindon there was a lake, shadowed by mountains on all sides save the south. That was Lake Helevorn, deep and dark, and beside it Caranthir had his abode; but all the great land between Gelion and the mountains, and between Rerir and the River Ascar, was called by the Noldor Thargelion, which signifies the Land beyond Gelion, or Dor Caranthir, the Land of Caranthir; and it was here that the Noldor first met the Dwarves. But Thargelion was before called by the Grey-elves Talath Rhúnen, the East Vale.”

Okay this one might be a bit of a stretch, but one could argue that Caranthir choosing to live beneath the mountains and in a notably dark region could indicate a sensitivity to bright lights, which would qualify as a sensory sensitivity. Even if not, though, we already have the required two of the four electives.

“At that time [Celegorm and Curufin] were from home, riding with Caranthir east in Thargelion [...]”

And this tells us absolutely nothing.

“But seven days later, as the Orcs made their last assault and had already broken through the stockade, there came suddenly a music of trumpets, and Caranthir with his host came down from the north and drove the Orcs into the rivers.

Then Caranthir looked kindly upon Men and did Haleth great honour; and he offered her recompense for her father and brother. And seeing, over late, what valour there was in the Edain, he said to her: 'If you will remove and dwell further north, there you shall have the friendship and protection of the Eldar, and free lands of your own.'

But Haleth was proud, and unwilling to be guided or ruled, and most of the Haladin were of like mood. Therefore she thanked Caranthir, but answered: 'My mind is now set, lord, to leave the shadow of the mountains, and go west, whither others of our kin have gone.'”

One could probably argue that Haleth was Caranthir’s only friend outside of his immediate family, which certainly indicates a struggle in forming bonds. That being said, he did pretty good here. I’m proud of him :))

“Maglor joined Maedhros upon Himring; but Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves; and the Orcs came not into Ossiriand, nor to Taur-im-Duinath and the wilds of the south.”

While this is a very interesting passage for Caranthir’s characterization, it has nothing to do with him potentially being autistic, so we can move on.

“The sons of Ulfang the Black were Ulfast, and Ulwarth, and Uldor the accursed; and they followed Caranthir and swore allegiance to him, and proved faithless”

Poor Caranthir can’t catch a break, can he? But yeah of course he chooses the people who end up being the least loyal. Certainly indicates a lack of character judgement, which falls under not understanding nonverbal communication.

“There fell Celegorm by Dior's hand, and there fell Curufin, and dark Caranthir”

RIP. But it doesn’t really tell us anything.

Obviously, we can’t know what he was like during childhood development, nor can we know what underlying conditions he may have. However, given how many alliances he fucked over or nearly fucked over with his bad social skills, it’s fair to say that his autistic traits would have clinical significance. So, in conclusion, while nothing can be said for certain, it is reasonable to think that Caranthir is autistic.

#tolkien #silmarillion #caranthir #meta #actuallyautistic

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seasami · 5 years ago

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Fanfiction Rec

Larry Fic Rec -- random fics cause I don’t categorize and I have no recollection of when I read them so I can’t name this [Month] fic rec BUT by the end of May I’ll do a May Favourites or smh like that cause I figured it’ll be best to sort by months from now on since im not a fic rec page -- just a fanfiction enthusiast.

NOTE: I”LL WORK ON FORM OF THOSE RECS I PROMISE IT WON’T LOOK THIS SCRATCHY NEXT TIME (and I’ll add authors although you can find them when you click the link) ALSO a word count maybe?

GIVE ME YOUR FEEDBACK

✰ i put star emoji next to my personal favs

ANYWAYS:

a house built out of stone

Summary: Louis has a used bookshop and Harry has a habit of claiming things that don't belong to him.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698268

Amazing Sin

Summary: Gears started turning in Louis’ head. Purely mischievous gears that had Louis formulating a revenge plan against Taylor. He’d had enough of sitting around and taking it. If she was going to call him a whore, then fine, he’ll act like one for real. “I’m going to say something, and as my friends you are obligated to love me anyway.”

“This can’t be good,” Niall said, Zayn just groaned.

“So I know we have this strict ‘no lashing back at Taylor’ rule with me, but what if I can get press revenge a different way?” Louis asked. He wasn’t expecting an answer, because they knew by now to just go with it. “What if I stole her boyfriend?”

Or, the story of Louis ‘Steal Your Man’ Tomlinson.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4133700?view_full_work=true

be with you day and night

Summary: “Maybe not,” Ed pipes up. “This sounds weird but I have a friend who might be able to help you.”

“Is it a priest? I think an exorcism is the only option here, mate.”

“Right, so like, remember my kitten Graham?” At everyone’s nods, he continues, “Well when I got him he was a bit of a prick. He was just scared, but he wasn’t very pleasant to be around. So my friend Harry comes around one day to hang out and he just, like, bonds with him. After an hour he had him snuggling in his lap. He’s going to school to be a vet I think, and he volunteers in an animal shelter so he’s got lots of experience I guess. But anyway, he developed a bit of a reputation after that and now everyone calls him the Cat Whisperer.”

“You have a friend everyone calls the Cat Whisperer,” Louis says, “And you’ve neglected to tell me this until now.”

[louis inherits a demon cat. harry is a cat whisperer.]

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402962

Buried Like Treasure ✰

Summary: Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps.

Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900422/chapters/31988364

I’d Still Dance With You

Summary: “Liam, if you met someone that you really liked, would age matter?” Louis asked.

“I suppose so; to a point, anyway.”

“Like, how young would you go?”

Liam thought it over. “Uh… I don’t know. Like, 24?”

Louis groaned and dropped his head in his hands.

“Why? How old is this guy you like?”

“Twenty-one,” Louis muttered.

“Hang on. He’s 21, and you’re… what? Twenty-eight?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. Um… well, OK. That’s a, uh, that’s a gap.”

---

Or, the 21/28 age difference fic where Harry is younger than Louis thought he was, and even though Louis’ head is telling him not to pursue anything, his heart doesn’t seem to agree.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007420?view_full_work=true

Like and Endless Summer ✰

Summary: “You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365494/chapters/25442085

like cabbages and kings ✰

Summary: When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623110?view_full_work=true

Mute

Summary: How is love supposed to speak, when one can’t even choke out the words?

Louis’ life was a joke through his witty words.

Harry’s life was a joke through his lack of words.

Louis was classed as a normal child; mentally and physically.

Harry was classed as an abnormal child; mentally and physically.

Louis could speak.

Harry could not.

Harry had progressive mutism.

Louis did not.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635935?view_full_work=true

The Moments When My Good Times Start to Fade

Summary: Where Harry is a flower child who works in a bakery and Louis is a guitarist who has no idea what it is he wants.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765148

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excidium · 4 years ago

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this post contains spoilers for the miraculous ladybug new york special/movie. trigger warning for abuse, so be warned of that if you keep reading.

okay so ive watched the new york special two and a half times by now, so ive finally had time to sit on and reflect what ive watched. the argument that happens between chat noir and ladybug is perfect, and is something that needed to happen for their relationship to become stronger. let me explain.

first of all, and lets get this out of the way -- ladybug had every right to be upset with chat. im not trying to devalue her feelings on the experience at all. he had made a promise to her that he would protect paris, alleviating the pressure she has on her as guardian to protect it. hes her trusted partner, and she was relying on him to keep his word. him failing to tell her that he was no longer in paris was a breach of their trust, and therefore damaged their partnership temporarily. she had every right to be upset with him, and yes. he should have (and did) apologize. it was an apology she deserved, and she was not out of line for being upset with him.

now here is where i get into why this is such a perfect arc for these two, and why this eventually was going to and needed to happen. really, it all comes down to chat’s civilian life as adrien. i think a lot of the time when discussing adrien and his flaws, the fact that he is literally abused, manipulated and consistently gaslit by his father is left out of the conversation. his abuse and lack of parental care is what causes most of his negative traits to bubble to the surface and become amplified, and thats the case here as well.

so why didnt chat just tell ladybug that there was a change of plans and that he wouldnt be able to keep his promise that he made? well, he said it himself. he was afraid of disappointing her. however, this isnt the normal “disappointment” that most people are afraid of. you need to keep in mind that adrien doesnt know how real/healthy relationships work, which is literally the main adrien conflict in this special as well. nino literally describes him as a “baby chick just emerging from his shell”, and he isnt wrong to make that comparison. hes still fairly new to the real world, and has up until now been stuck in a world entirely made up of his fathers control and creation.

now keep in mind that the only “close” relationship adrien really has is with gabriel (at this point). gabriel sets unreasonably high expectations for him, and punishes him harshly whenever he doesnt meet said expectations. for example in the episode “captain hardrock”, gabriel is disappointed with adrien’s piano playing progress, and so he prevents adrien from seeing his friends at band practice (after he had already said he could go) -- as punishment in direct consequence of his disappointment.

gabriel has also literally threatened adrien on multiple occasions by socially isolating him, as well as doing a bunch of other awful shit to him when he doesnt follow directions or live up to his expectations. that is what chat is afraid of/thinking of when he’s afraid of “disappointment”. he isnt thinking of a healthy form of it, but rather the distorted and cruel form that gabriel has shown/taught him. and so thats why hes so terrified of ladybug being disappointed in him, and is why it may seem irrational to some people.

it is irrational to think that ladybug would ever react as harshly to chat noir as gabriel does to adrien, but he doesnt know that. all hes ever known is unhealthy relationships and reactions, and so him jumping to the conclusion that she no longer wants to be partners with him after this mistake makes perfect sense.

adrien is not a bad person. impulsive? yes. bad and selfish? no. he knew he was wrong, and he knew that he deserved to be reprimanded for what he did. his reckless behavior (encouraged by plagg) nearly cost the life of an innocent hero, and he knows that. its why the entire time he was in new york, he was too busy monitoring the akuma app instead of enjoying himself. he feels bad about it. he knows ladybug has every right to be disappointed in him. he knows it was wrong, but he was so afraid to tell her the truth because of the unhealthy expectations he has in his head (set by gabriel).

he both feels guilty and also expects that ladybug will no longer want to be partners w/ him because of this mistake. so much so that he just preemptively gives up his miraculous to save her the trouble of asking for it. marinette is the guardian now, and therefore she has the power to revoke it if she ever feels he can no longer be her partner. ladybug is disappointed in him and says she no longer trusts him earlier in the special, and so he acts on what he thinks will be the consequence. this is something akin to what gabriel would do, and is why he just accepts it as is and runs away without giving it a second thought. this is his reality living with gabriel. this is the type of punishment/reaction hes used to when people are disappointed in him.

and thats why hes so surprised to hear that ladybug still wants him as a partner, because he genuinely believes that his mistake was unforgivable and justifiable in him losing his miraculous. this is how relationships have always been for him, and so why would his relationship with ladybug (when he disappoints her) be any different?

this needed to happen, because ladybug showed him that whats normal for him isnt healthy. that in healthy relationships and dynamics, disappointment doesnt automatically lead to the harshest punishment. theres room to grow, theres room for apologies. she doesnt know chats identity, and so she couldnt possibly have known that he would react the way he did to her saying she was disappointed in him (and that her trust in him was temporarily damaged). she has a healthy relationship with her parents, and so this was highly surprising and abnormal to her (as it was to a lot of people watching). when she said she was disappointed in him, she obviously didnt mean it as “i dont want to be partners with you anymore”. she meant it as “im disappointed and hurt by what you did, learn from this and be better. dont do it again”.

in order for them to become closer partners, chat needs to learn what healthy relationships are like. and ladybug needs to learn how to articulate her feelings better. before this, she didnt really tell chat how much he meant to her. that could been seen in the first scene of the special with the rose and how she was dismissive of his declaration of friendship (and how much he values it). when theyre reunited, she makes sure to tell him how much he means to her -- because she realizes that she hasnt really done that.

in that way, marinette and adrien’s arcs arent that dissimilar to chat noir and ladybug’s. adrien needs to learn to get out of his shell and experience relationships that are healthy, and marinette needs to learn how to be clearer about her feelings. adrien’s social inadequacy caused him to make a huge mistake and renounce being chat noir. marinette’s inability to express to chat how much he means to her (as well as to adrien), leads to chat feeling as though the only way to own up to his mistakes is to give up being her partner.

overall, it’s kind of really amazing that both of the character arcs for both their halves tied into each other. i dont know if im making much sense, but the conflict between the both of them was just really good and is the type of ladybug and chat noir dynamic i was hoping for. hopefully from here on out they continue to develop together as people. a lot of chat’s impulsive behavior comes from fear of consequence (as well as freedom from consequence), and so this argument kind of made him (uncomfortably) face the facts. now he has a lot to think about and reevaluate, since ladybug basically proved everything he thought he knew about the way people should react is wrong.

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk, i hope this made sense.

#( 🐾┊ OOC. )#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug spoilers #tw: parental abuse #tw: long post

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danganronpa-madness-imagines · 4 years ago

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Shuichi couldn’t move, he couldn’t even breath. All he could do was stand and stare at the now closed piano. The brightly colored blood dripping out from between the piano keys and the large wooden cover looked as if it was almost mocking him. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing with all his might that it would somehow fix everything and that when he opened his eyes again, Kaede would be standing right infront of him.

Just as she had been doing moments before, before he was forced to watch as she was slowly executed right in front of him and every other person that she had tried her best to inspire, before he had been forced to watch the panic on her face grow as she was slowly deprived of oxygen again and again while doing the very thing she used to love so much. He was shaken out of his shock by a hand on his shoulder. It was Maki, she nodded to him solemnly before helping clear everyone out along with Kaito who was trying not to be too loud as he told everyone to give Shuichi some space.

He heard them all pile into the elevator, he heard the elevator doors close, the sound of metal hitting metal echoing in his ears. He heard the elevator take his classmates back up to the courtyard, he listened until the steady dripping of the blood from the piano was the only noise left in the room.

Only once he was sure that they had all left did he let himself fall to the ground, all of his emotions finally spilling out. A raw anguished noise akin to a sob erupted from his throat, it was full of emotion, sadness, regret, and anger. Anger towards the killing game, anger towards monokuma, and most of all, anger towards the mastermind for pushing kaede to the point she was willing to commit a murder.

As he sat there, drowning in his emotions he didn’t even realize he was still screaming until his throat became sore from the strain.

He rubbed his eyes in a futile effort to stop the tears that kept running down his face in a never-ending stream. His mouth stuttered open.

“I’m sorry Kaede, I’m so sorry.” he said as he cried. He had no idea how long he stayed there on the ground, sobbing and pouring his heart out with endless apologies and promises to end the killing game no matter what it took, to not let her death be in vain.

When he finally ran out of tears and composed himself enough that he no longer felt he was falling apart at the seams, he got up and slowly walked over to the elevator, almost breaking down again over the memory of kaede from only hours before. Once he was back to the courtyard he instantly made his way to his room, not even Kokichi daring to intercept the poor boy who looked dead on his feet. Once he got back to his room he decided to lay down on the bed and try to sleep, half hoping that when he woke up, all of this would turn out to simply be a nightmare. The haunting melody of Kaede’s execution serving as a soundtrack in his nightmares.

The next morning when he woke up, all the memories of the day before came rushing back to him. Rantaro’s death, the murder trial, and Kaede’s exucution. No! He refused to cry over that again, he had his time to mourn, he made a promise to Kaede that he would end this killing game, no matter the cost! With this motivation he got up and began to get dressed.

He put on his uniform as he normally would, but right before he could grab his hat he stopped. He promised Kaede he would help everyone escape, there’s no way he can help lead everyone if he’s too scared to even make eye contact with them. He decided to leave it, he would be better. For Kaede.

He made his way to the door, he took a deep breath to calm nerves. He opened it and began walking towards the cafeteria to meet with the others. As he walked down the hallways that were overgrown with weeds and vines, he ran the pads of his fingers over the peeling wallpaper, feeling the texture of it as his hand gilded over the wall.

As he rounded the corner he was met with the one person he was dreading to see the most, Kokichi. While Shuichi himself didn’t know very much about the boy, he had been in his presence in the past long enough to know that no matter what Shuichi did to prevent it, he was sure to comment on the sudden subtraction from his normal wardrobe.

“Hey Shuichi!” Kokichi said as soon as he saw him, he ran up to the detective waving excitedly like a child. “You finally got rid of that emo hat!” he said exaggeratedly excited, “is this ‘cause Kaede died or whatever?” he asked in an overly friendly tone. Shuichi froze, he had been expecting this of course but it didn’t mean he was ready for it.

“W-, what’s your deal Ouma?” he asks, he asked quietly, the emotions from the day before rushing back.

“Whatdya’ mean?” kokichi replied innocently.

“I mean, what’s your deal.” he said more confidently. “You constantly choose to antagonize us about the smallest things just to get a reaction out of us” he said.

“Well of course i do, its just so fun to see the looks on your stupid faces!” he exclaimed, not the least bit phased by Shuichi’s abnormal behavior. As Kokichi said that, an idea popped into Shuichi’s mind. Normally he would have dismissed it as soon as it came but not today, today he was far too tired to care about consequences or reactions and so he let go.

“Are you really that desperate for attention?” he asked Kokichi, and the reaction was instant. The playfulness drained out of his face, and was soon replaced with anger.

“I-”

“You know what I think?” Shuichi cut him off before he could get any further.

“I think that you’re so scared of getting close to anyone here knowing that they could die at any second, that you purposefully try and sabotage any chance you could possibly have to be our friend but at the same time you crave attention from others because you’re scared of being forgotten, and so you pull pranks and put up a front to convince everyone that you don’t need anyone and that you’re better off alone.

Only, that’s not true is it? Or did you do such a good job of lying to everyone that you even convinced yourself?” Shuichi asked him, staring down at the liar. As much as Kokichi tried to hide his true reaction, Shuichi would see his little micro expressions that told him he was right.

He could practically hear the wheels turning in kokichi’s brain trying to both hide his true reaction and to see how to best react to that in a way that didn’t destroy the image he had created for himself. After a short pause Kokichi finally replied.

“Wow Shuichi, you really dug deep there huh? Oh well, this game is getting pretty boring so you can just end your turn now” he says as he starts to walk away, obviously deflecting and trying to get out of the situation.

“Ouma!” Shuichi called out before he left.

“What is it? I’m very busy you know, the work of a supreme leader is never done” Kokichi snaps as he turns around to look at the other boy

“Don’t underestimate me, no matter what I do or how I act. I’m still the ultimate detective. And that in itself is worth something, ultimate titles aren’t given lightly,” he reminded him before he turned around and began walking once again towards the cafeteria leaving a reeling kokichi in his wake as he tried to process what had just happened.

Soon the detective reached the entrance doors of the cafeteria, he took a few deep breaths to calm his anxiety.

He pushed open the doors and walked in. When he entered the room he could instantly feel all of the eyes of his peers collectively locked onto him. He paid them no mind and simply walked over to the table. He refused to feel embarrassed, he knew that if he acted like nothing was different than the others would also most likely leave him alone about it, and he didn’t really feel like giving them an explanation.

Most of them soon went back to what they were doing whether that be chatting to one another or simply eating food. Kirumi soon approached him and asked him what he would like to eat from what she had prepared.

“I- um, I’m not really hungry Kirumi, I just came to meet up with everyone. Thanks anyway though” Shuichi tells her, trying to mask his nerves.

“Okay, that is fine” she replies in her professional tone she always seemed to have. “Oh, and Shuichi?” she says as she leaves.

“Yeah?”

“I think you look better without the hat” she says kindly before walking away, most likely to reprimand Kokichi who had arrived some time during their conversation. As Shuichi began thinking of what he could do to help them get out of here his thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice calling out his name

“Hey, Shuichi!” kaito’s loud voice boomed as he sat across from the blue haired boy.

“Oh, hey Kaito” Shuichi replied as he gave a small wave.

“You doing okay? I know you were pretty shaken up after yesterday.” he asked, a concerned look on his face. Shuichi knew it was supposed to be comforting and make him feel better but he couldn’t help but feel annoyed, he wasn’t a child who needed to be coddled and he really didn’t feel like reliving all the emotions from the day before.

“Im fine” he snapped “and even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t want to to talk about it so drop it.” he said, his brain to mouth filter failing him in the moment. Kaito looked at him surprised, and Shuichi immediately realized what exactly he had just said.

“Right, sorry for bringing it up,” Kaito said as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh god, Kaito, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I didn’t mean that I’m sorry. I’m just really tired, and stressed” Shuichi began apologizing.

“Nah man, don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault, I can’t really blame you anyway I’m pretty stressed too, emotions are running high for all of us” Kaito told him understandingly. “But if you ever do want to talk, my door is always open for you” he says, giving Shuichi a comforting smile.

“Thanks Kaito, I’m still really sorry but thanks,” Shuichi said, giving Kaito a small smile.

“No worries! Anyway, we should probably talk to the others for a bit just to see how they’re doing. If you’re feeling up to that?” Kaito suggested.

“Not really sorry, I sort of only came here so you guys wouldn’t worry about me. I’m just going to head back to my room for a bit. I’ve been trying to think of ways for us to get out of here so I’m going to keep doing that for a bit. Maybe later” Shuichi told him, his hands fidgeting nervously with the ends of his sleeves under the table.

“Okay well, just don’t stay in there for too long, remember you don’t have to do everything yourself. I believe in you Shuichi!” Kaito said, giving him a pat on the back before going off to talk to Maki despite her protests.

Shuichi stayed in the cafeteria for a bit longer and ended up talking to a few of the others before he left to go back to his room. He opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him before sitting down on the bed. He decided to think back on everything that had happened yesterday now that there weren’t as many emotions clouding his mind. He knew logically that there was a large chance that another murder would occur before they found a way out so for now he needed to focus on how he could make sure that if there was another murder that he wouldn’t have to rely on contradictions in the statements as there was no guarantee that the killers would accidentally forget or leave evidence that would give then away enough to identify them.

As he rode this train of thought, his mind wandered back to his conversation with Kokichi from earlier, he knew that he had surprised him. There was no way he didn’t.

How was it possible that he, the same shuichi who could barely look people in the eye, could know so much about a skilled liar like Kokichi. It was simple really, what Shuichi had told him before he left was true, no matter how he acted he was still the ultimate detective and while he couldn’t lie to people very well, or even tell when or if people were lying to him, he knew enough about psychology that he could knew what certain behaviors meant in certain people.

It was actually the persona Kokichi put up that ended up telling him the truth. Suddenly he was struck with an idea, he wasn’t sure how or if the person in question would even accept his idea but it was worth a shot. He quickly got up and left his room, his eyes scanning the plaques above to other rooms until his eyes landed on the one he wanted. He walked up to the door and knocked, hoping the person it belonged to was inside. He waited a bit before the door opened.

“Oh, Saihara-chan? What are you doing here? Did you really miss me that much?” Kokichi asked, the door was only partially open, allowing Shuichi to see only part of Kokichi’s messy room.

“I need you to teach me how to lie,”

#thanks so much for submitting this #i loved this #mod maki talks #void-voyager #i might need more #submission

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slashiest-slasher · 5 years ago

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For @slashthedice‘s Frisky February!

Day 12: Stuffing

Billy Lenz x Male s/o (Stuffing is a bit of a squick of mine, so im playing a little loose with this prompt. As in what's considered eating a normal amount of food would be too much for Billy, somewhat related to the con noncon prompt, but not really)

Ever since the whole incident with Lt. Fuller, and revealing Billy as your boyfriend "Will" to him, thing have been a mixed bag around the sorority. Finally there was an eyewitness that you had a special someone, so Barb stopped calling your left hand Will, but that also meant a lot of questions. Most of which could be easily answered.

What's Will like? Quiet, nervous, and neurotic, but sweet really.

Where does Will live? Oh he's renting an attic room from someone.

Can we meet him?

You're not really surprised when it comes around. No one except for Lt. Fuller has ever seen the illusive Will that supposedly crawls in through your window every night to visit. You manage to make up some excuse when Mrs. Mac invites him over for dinner night, saying he doesn't do well at family dinners.

She does end up saving a plate for him when you mention he's coming over later, and keeps it warm in the oven. It's a blessing, really, trying to sneak Billy food is a pain. But here you have an entire plate, and you can even bring him down to eat in the kitchen without raising too many eyebrows..

You lead Billy down the stairs by his hand, and his muscles are tense the entire time. It's not the first time he's ever wandered downstairs, but it is the first time he doesn't need to sneak or hide from everyone.

Thankfully mostly everyone's already passed out for the night, but while passing through the living room on your way to the kitchen, Jess catches you on her way out.

"Oh hello! You must be Will!" she calls your way cheerfully, winding her scarf around her throat. "It's nice to get to meet you." She puts on one of her gigwatt smiles. It's nice that she's in a good mood at least.

Billy on the other hand freezes and stares at her, eyes wide and lips pressed into a thin line. He squeezes your hand too tightly, and struggles to make eye contact with Jess. "H-Hello," he manages out, in what you've come to know as his real voice. He gives a wave, but tries hiding behind you.

"I wish I could stay for longer and chat, but I'm heading over to Peter's for the night. But we should chat later!" Jess slips on her coat, and shouts a "goodbye!" out the door as she leaves.

"You were wonderful Billy," you whisper in his ear, and pat the back of his hand.

He practically glows in response, giving you one of his smiles that makes your heart beat a little bit faster. "I'm a good Billy, f-for you. I p-promise."

When you whisper an "I love you", all of the tension in his shoulders vanishes and he melts against you. You lead him into the dining room, and sit him down at the table while you grab the plate from the oven. Of course in exchange for that you had promised Mrs. Mac to do all of the dishes tonight. You give Billy a pat on the back and press a kiss to the side of the head as you sit the still warm plate of food in front of him.

"Eat up babe," you tell him before rolling your sleeves up in preparation for your battle for the mess that waited for you in the kitchen. A monstrous task that takes you at least half and hour to tackle, until the sink is empty, dishes are in the drying rack, and pots and pans are hung up.

You maybe expected a drowsy Billy dosing off at the table, with a final plate for you to clean, but not Billy staring at a plate with food that's barely been touched. A few bites taken out of the ham (and some of that he might have fed to Claude), green beans pushed around, and the mashed potatoes stirred. You knew he had no problem with these foods, because you've seen him devour them before.

"Billy? Is every alright?" you asked, laying a hand on his back. "You hardly touched your food."

"Not hungry," he mutters, leaning back into your touch.

"I know that's a lie, you haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon," you want to get snappish with him, but you know better than that. "Are you feeling sick?" You place the back of your hand to his forehead, but it doesn't feel feverish.

Billy shakes his head and crosses his arm. When he speaks, it's almost too low for you to hear, and you certainly wouldn't have if it weren't for the strained woman's voice he used. "Bad Billy, bad bad Billy. N-no dinner, bad Billy's don't deserve dinner. Go to bed! Right now!"

You caress Billy's cheeks as you sit down in the chair next to him, hushing him. "Billy, hey, it's okay. You're always allowed to eat. Even if you've been bad, or think you've been bad." You always try to keep an open mind about Billy and his traumas, you know it's an uphill struggle for him, especially when he can slip back so easily.

You grab the fork from the table, and hold some mashed potatoes to his mouth. "Come on Billy, we're not leaving this table until eat the whole plate." His eyes go even wider at that. But as you continue to stare, he finally eats the potatoes on the fork.

You've been trying to feed him more, since when you first got together, you could see his ribs. You can't anymore, except when he stretches, but his stomach is typically concave and it worries you each time you. A full plate of food is a bit much, since even on a good day he would only eat about half of it, which still isn't enough for an adult man.

That's about as much as he can stomach until he pushes the plate away. "I'm f-full," he says, even though you're holding another forkful of food out for him. When you keep it held out, he pushes that away as well. "I can't, it's too much."

You know you can't suddenly change how much someone can stomach in a single night, but you need to start Billy somewhere. Good thing you know his weak spot. You settle your free hand on his thigh, slowly upwards to rub his crotch. "If you eat everything, I'll make it worth your while."

Billy glances between his crotch, your face, and the fork full of food before he lunges for the bite. He snatches the fork from you, downing the rest of his food. Ignoring your warnings of eating too fast all the while. But his enthusiasm is adorable.

In no time flat, the plate in empty, and he lunges for a kiss. "Suck my f-f-f-fuck cock," he groans against your lips.

And who are you to say no to a request like that?

You slide down to the floor, Billy already working at unbuckling his (new) belt, and get his fly down. You busy yourself with rucking his shirt up, and kissing down his belly. There's a small pouch there from dinner, which makes you feel a hell of a lot better than whenever you kiss his flat tummy.

Billy whines when you press your face into his belly. "Nooooo," he tries pushing you down. "Stop, or I'll p-puke in your f-fucking hair."

You can't help but giggle at that, and finally pull him out of his boxers, and into your mouth. And when he archs his back and makes those breathy moans, you have to slip a hand down your pants and jerk yourself off. Your free hand reaches up to toy with his nipples, while you take him as far down your throat as you can.

Considering the practice you get from Billy trying to choke you with his cock, it's pretty damn far.

Billy always come quickly, and as of late, he's thankfully been staying down. Compared to going four, five rounds. You don't know how he does it, because after two, you physically can't. You guess Billy's must be some kind of wonderful freak of nature.

Swallowing down his abnormally large loads is another thing you've gotten used to. As well as him pulling you up into his lap to jerk you off. Until you're uncontrollably thrusting into his first and spilling cum all over his turtleneck. That you're going to have to wash.

"Bed, too sleep," Billy while, slumping against you, and you could not agree more with him.

#billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #black christmas 1974 #lemon #frisky february #billy lenz hc #i know this is shorter than usual but like i said stuffing is a squick of mine but i want to try doing every prompt

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katsukikitten · 5 years ago

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A Pink Rose 3

"Im the shit. yea I know Im the shit, if you dont buy me what I want Imma throw a fit"

The song dances down the long hall, flooding into your office as your sharp eyes rove over long numbers with a smile. You press a manicured claw onto the intercom.

"U-chan. Could you ask the DJ to turn the song up for me please?" You speak softly before a "Yes ma'am" is echoed back to you. You dance to the chorus as you subtract and add more numbers to several documents. You cannot help the cat smile that is painted on your lips as you rip through an envelope with your sharp black claw. They are not obnoxiously long but long and sharp enough to slice skin.

You should know, you scratched someone's ex husband across the face last week. The memory of the blood dripping down your fingers combined with the feel and smell of money sends a shiver down your spine. You count it quickly, sorting the bills so they all face the same way. The color of the money is tantalizing, signifying it is the biggest bill in production, you set out three straps and sort the money easily before sealing it beneath the purple paper band. The old desk drawer groans from weight, you slip the money on top of a small stack before shutting it with a harsh click of a lock. You sort through loans so seamlessly that it seems as if they are sorting themselves. A small pile sits to the left of you of what has been paid in full. A slightly larger stack of paid on time. A much larger pile of past due. You finger through past due to a certain file that you flip through, several months with no payment, not even a word of pleading for an extended time. You read about his personal life, his two kids and wife. You tap the pen to your glossed lip before you shut the mineola file folder, scrawling in cursive Repossession ALL ASSETS, U. Another similar case and its clear early on that you are feeling merciless as you are not planning to send your normal reminders and going straight to your final resort. Patience suddenly worn thin as the deep red ink reminds you of a certain hot head.

Repossession ALL ASSETS D

An abnormal boom sounds off in the lobby, sounding suspiciously like an explosion. You lean back in your office chair,tongue poking at your lower lip while your black claw raps against the smooth grain.

For a moment you think to get up, that you're needed but your crew does not call for you over the intercom so you go back to your work.

You needed to trust them to handle things when you weren't here so what better way than to pretend you aren't here.

Aother file whispers your name, you open it to learn he doesn't have much of anything.

No house

No car

No kids

No wife

But he is quite late. Would you benefit from just repossessing him or would you have to ki...

Before you can even finish the thought the door to your office is blasted off of its hinges as yelling floods into the space.

"Fuck off shit Deku. That's why you're a pet now." Bakugou yells before spitting in the face of the emerald haired man.

Izuku let's his eyes slide to you and when he sees your tight grip on the folder be decides it's best not to witness what is to come next.

You try to keep your cool when it comes to irate clients that barge in with no appointment.

But your freshly re-laquered oak door lying inches from your desk makes it difficult.

"OI!" He opens his mouth to make it worse.

In your hot rage you crush the folder shut before writing in heated script Elimination Contract w/ T.S or Dbi.

"What." You bite out holding onto his piercing gaze as you attempt to calm yourself, "Do I owe this pleasure after a month of blissful silence?"

Bakugou chooses this time to slam an obscene amount of money on the table instead of opening his fat obnoxious mouth.

You stare at the stacks of haphazardly rubber banded bills and wonder if he was more well off than you thought as far as capital.

Or if he was foolish enough to hurt himself by helping out his best goon.

"What is this for?" You fold your hands before resting your head atop your laced fingers.

Explosions pop along his exposed skin and you smile, amused at how easy it is to rile him. Part of you wants to use your power to amplify his wrath but you like your office much too much for that.

Plus you're sure you didn't need more than a few choice words to egg him on further.

"Don't play fucking dumb." He growls slamming his fists onto the top of the desk, hard enough that items rattle and some files flutter to the floor.

"I don't believe that I am 'playing dumb'. But speaking of," You lean closer as if sharing a secret, "I would be a little more careful with my quirk if I were you. They are illegal to use under any circumstance after all."

His gaze darkens, he has half a mind to take all of this money back and just kill you.

He grits his teeth, there is a reason why everyone who crosses your path becomes your pet or deeply indebted to you.

Its astounding to think that in a short eight years a new family dominated the southern region of the city and majority of the southern part of the country.

Not to mention you were only 17 when you started.

Or so the rumors go.

Dont get Bakugou wrong, he is not hesitating merely biding his time.

Because he is more than ready to go in guns a blazing but he isn't willing to risk his own empire should you best him.

Even if that is a slim to none chance.

He has a promise to keep and a reputation to uphold.

He leans closer, leveling his eyes to yours as he would any other head of a family that is threatening him.

"When you're as big as me the police know your quirk and know to look away." His voice comes out dangerously dark and your mood sours.

Just like a fucking Bakugou to be so damn cocky.

You see the ghost of his Father in his eyes and your blood begins to boil.

Vision tunneling in as your mind flashes the sight of angry pools of bright red and the tang of pennies.

Curiosity and agitation cause you to move your head to one hand trying damn hard to seem disinterested as you reach out with your right.

Bakugou flinches back and you smile a wide cat smile as this confirms that he knows.

He knows you need to touch your opponent to "work" them.

But what he doesn't know is you only need to touch them once.

You furrow your brow as if confused as you press the intercom that was next to where his hand rested.

"Deku, please return to my office." You say syrupy sweet as you hold eye contact with a now furious Bakugou.

"Yes Madam. Do I need to take out the trash?" He asks as he makes his way behind you. Katuski's skin pops with explicit explosions furthering your content.

"No my love," You motion him towards you after pointing at a small rolling chair in the corner, "Please help me sort this mess."

You take the piles and begin breaking the rubber bands and sorting the money into manageable piles.

"How much is here?" Hands flying over bills making sure they face the same way.

"Enough." The hot head bites out.

Agitation fills the office as you fight your urge to scream.

Yelling got you no where in your life before being Madame and it will probably get you no where after.

"So you don't know?" A collected question with a hint of venom. Izuku shrinks away from you.

Burning scarlet eyes fly to Deku's thick forearm. An angry white fissure drags along the two bands, breaking their infinite circle and with it the power over the family.

You did this to him and yet the emerald haired man sits by you like a loyal dog.

Another heated palm kisses the wood of the desk, that endless popping echoes.

"Just fucking count it!!" The ash blonde yells.

This time you stand, fully taking in the man as you round the old desk. His attire further encourages your wrath.

It is difficult to be unbothered by him, what with the sloppy way he wears his suit.

Sans jacket. Black pants that are not ill fitting, they show off his muscular thighs and calves but are not overly tight. Black vest with intricate stitching of dragons that could be missed if one did not look closely. The vest sits snug over a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow to show off the beginnings of his tattoo but most importantly the two bands that carry more status than any seal or crown. Lastly his black tie, slightly loosened as if pulled or improperly tied.

Sadly, in this underworld, appearance speaks volumes and Bakugou's outfit screams son of the family or worse yet goon.

His tattoos indicate that he is the head of his family so he should dress like it.

It drives you up the wall that he doesn't. because it would drive him insane too.

"You're already going to be undermined because you're a woman so appearance is especially important for you my tiger lily. Now please dress like a proper lady."

His words echo in your head now and you sure as hell wouldn't dare to admit that you're turning more and more into someone of your past.

Sad that it took him dying to see eye to eye.

You grab onto the silk tie roughly jerking him forward with the motion.

Your noses touch and your breath mingles more politely than the two of you.

"Touch my Father's desk one more time and I will have your hands for display." You growl lowly, igniting fire in those ember eyes, "Got. It. Poprock?"

"Pop. Rock?" His teeth grind but you shove him away slightly. Still holding onto his tie as you straighten it. Before sashaying back behind your desk.

It is the hot head's turn to drink you in as your wide hips and strong legs carry you back to your black leather throne.

Your black dress is body con before flaring out into somewhat of wider train. The dress is solid, hiding where your family crest would be in ink below your collar bone but not covering enough where the start of it cannot be seen. The neckline dips just to your solar plexus showing off the clean bisected skin with sensual hints of swirling ink winking at the world. The sleeves are lace and stop at the wrists but not opaque enough that one would miss your status or the tattoos at 3/4 of your arm dancing up beneath the smooth fabric.

Your heels clack before you take a seat, motioning deadly claws at Izuku to continue counting.

The unique sound of an electronic money counter whirls in the room before beeping when its reach the set number of bills.

"You may want to sit." You say without looking up as deft hands swiftly sort and brick stacks of money, "This may take a while. I can call for tea."

Bakugou growls, plopping himself into the blood red leather chair in front of your desk. He is temporarily hypnotized by your capable hands and how quickly they move across money.

He watches you sort, face, hand count and strap what seems like endless amounts of money that turn into large bricks of paper for what feels like hours.

He wonders how long you've been working with cash.

He wonders even more about how you got someone to tattoo those two bands on you.

Everything about you screamed old money and family traditions.

The way you held yourself, your attire, but especially the way your ink swirled with lotus and tiger lilies alike. How it was designed much like his own, a suit never to be shrugged off.

He clenches his jaw as he thinks, the only way to get those bands are to show the tattoo artist the cold body of the former head. Bakugou relives memories that he is in no mood for before your somehow soothing voice breaks the other wise silence.

"Shouldn't Kirishima have been the one to drop this off?" You cock your eyebrow as you place a final heavy brick onto a tray, "Be a dear and lock this up with U-chan?"

Izuku nods at your request before you summon her via intercom. She enters swiftly and disappears with that damn Deku into one of the two doors behind you.

"Well." You prompt earning a nasty glare.

"He's caught up at the moment." He watches you rearrange paperwork before your hand flies to a handle, as if you suddenly remembered somrthing.

He narrows his eyes as he watches you produce two small pieces of chocolate. You set a spicy chili dark chocolate in front of him before unwrapping a milk chocolate for yourself.

Scarlet eyes burn into the small red square, did this come from a variety pack?

Or did you know this was the only sweet he really ate?

It had to be the former.

"Do tell!" You exclaim as if you hadn't just threatened him. His eyes rove over your office looking for any such displays and when he sees a jar of bright blue eyes he suppresses a shudder.

"Well she's hard to miss what with all that *pink*" Bakugou shrugs feigning boredom as he sees a vein pop in your head. You stand, your leather throne wheeling behind you as you make your way past your fallen door.

"You're just gonna leave me here with your secrets, Gatinna?" A deadly smirk forms on his lips as you turn to face him.

Eyes narrowed to slits carrying a gaze sharp enough to cut flesh.

"I dare you." The room feels as if it darkens but Bakugou pays it no mind as he picks up his chocolate, popping it into his mouth as he watches you storm into the bar.

He stands to follow as this could prove interesting.

@alwayslost123 for you bb

137 notes · View notes

softyoongiionly · 6 years ago

Text

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Eight

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: (sub!) Min Yoongi x (dom!) Reader

Genre: College Au, Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft! Yoongi, Fluff!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: I really appreciate those of you who have been reading. It means so much to me, I hope you like the new chapter😊

Warnings for this Chapter: very explicit smut aka this is literally just porn with a plot. Also, feelings, feelings and more feelings. You and Yoongi are hella soft for one another. Sub! Yoongi/Dom! reader

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 8: Netflix and Dragons?

The next morning, you awoke to the sound of rain against the windows of the car. The sound is calming and accompanied by the familiar hum of morning traffic. You feel a sense of peace as you snuggle further into the warm body underneath you. The events that had transpired the night before played over and over as you tried to contain the sleepy smile that teased your lips. Yoongi’s whimpers, his hands, his throat, the way he spoke to you: it was everything you could have ever wanted. There was a serious urge to pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming but, you decided against it when you realize that you and Yoongi had fallen asleep in the same position you had fucked in. Your dress still lay on the floor of Yoongi’s back seat and his jeans were still around his ankles. You bit your lip as you took in the sight of Yoongi’s neck which was decorated with at least 3 purple bite marks from your frantic mouth. The color suited his throat entirely too well and, you had to resist the urge to suck more of his tender skin into your mouth. You knew that Yoongi definitely had a few pent up kinks, that much was clear but, you weren’t sure if he would appreciate a hicky as a wakeup call.

“Are you awake?” Yoongi’s gentle voice pulls you out of your daydream as you slowly untuck your face from his neck.

You smile softly at him as you nod, taking in the sight of a well-rested, well-fucked Yoongi aka, the 8th wonder of the world. His blonde hair is a mess atop his head and, his eyes are barely open as he likely isn’t fully awake yet. However, you don’t miss the incredible gummy smile that pops onto his mouth as soon as he sees your face.

“Good morning.” You whisper, your voice barely carrying over the sound of the rain.

“Good morning.” He whispers back, his smile still lingering on his mouth.

You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek before nodding to his hips that were covered with his black boxers.

“How did you manage to pull those up without moving me?” You ask, your own voice raspy with remnants of sleep.

Yoongi’s cheeks flush, his shoulders moving up as he shrugs.

“You’re a heavy sleeper.” He explains simply. His raspy voice paired with the sound of the rain was heavenly and, you couldn’t remember a time when you felt so relaxed.

“Normally I’m not though; my cat wakes me up at least once a night.” You insist causing Yoongi’s mouth turn up in a soft smile.

“ Well, I’m not a cat.” He quips and you smirk as you lean back on his lap, your fingers coming up to adjust the sides of your bra. At this, Yoongi’s eyes wander over your body for a moment but, not long, his gaze quickly returning to yours as you respond.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Yoongi scoffs in mock offense, his hands coming up to pinch your sides, causing you to giggle. Before he can move his hands away, you place yours on top of his, securing them to your hips. His hands, despite the evident chill in the car, were warm and the softness of them felt too nice for you to resist. Yoongi lets a slightly shaky breath out through his nose but, otherwise, retains his composure. His hands settle into place and your heart flutters as you feel his thumbs moving gently against the skin over the front of your hips.

Your hands come up in an attempt to smooth your hair into place but, you only really manage to get it out of your face. Yoongi stays still as he steals a few glances toward you, his eyes soft but, holding something you can’t quite pinpoint. He had taken off his green utility jacket before falling asleep, his black t shirt and chain necklaces seemingly untouched but, his hair definitely told a different story. You hadn’t remembered messing it up so much but, then again, the whole experience had moved so quickly that, you couldn’t totally recount the entire thing.

“Thank you.” Yoongi’s voice brings you out of your head for a moment, your eyes flitting up to his. He’s smiling softly, shyly, as if you gave him something sentimental and secret.

“For what?” A giggle escapes your lips but, you lean closer to his body, your hands resting on his shoulders.

He turns his head to the side and presses his lips against your wrist, his cheeks turning pink, as he searches for his words.

“Last night…” He mumbles, his hands pressing into your hips a little more but, seemingly for his own comfort. “Um…it was…” You watch fondly as he looks for the right words to say, your teeth securing your lip as you tilt your head.

“…it was…special.” He decides and, the slight grimace on his face tells you that he wasn’t satisfied with the word his brain had settled on.

“It was.” You whisper softly, your thumbs beginning to rub gently against his collarbones. Yoongi’s face smooths out as he feels your touch and, he lets the soft smile return to his face. “Do you want to go get coffee? There’s a new place that opened up on 98th that’s really good and, they have a drive-thru.” You add and, at the mention of coffee, Yoongi’s smile grows slightly as he nods.

“Yeah…that sounds good.” He squeezes your hips one last time as you lean in to kiss his cheek. You turn to grab your dress that lay on the floor of the backseat, slipping it over your body before turning to climb back into the front seat. Yoongi bites his lip as he watches you, trying to contain all of the feelings swirling in his chest and, he does his best to pull up his jeans without thinking about how you were pulling them off the night before.

He failed.

He leans over slightly to catch his reflection in the mirror and does his best to smooth his hair out but, honestly, fuck appearances. He had the best sex of his life the night before and, if the state of his hair had to pay the price then, so be it. It was already fried anyway.

You sat in the front seat, pulling on your jacket in attempt to warm up. The rain had calm down significantly but, it was clearly sprinkling outside, the trees that surrounded the viewpoint we’re swaying slightly in the wind and, the city skyline was blurred by all of the water on Yoongi’s windshield. Your phone buzzes in your purse as Yoongi slips into the driver’s seat. Your eyes widen slightly as you remember that the last time you saw Jimin, he was hammered in the back of a taxi.

You open your phone to see a ton of new messages from your group chat and, you’re thankful that Yoongi was distracted by the road because, they were outrageous.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): gubs I mis u

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): gub? Tf is that?

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): I think he means guys? Miss you too Jiminie!

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): : ) luv u

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): Jimin, are you drunk?

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): lol this gub is definitely drunk.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): ur drunk,,im jim

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): Hi Jim, I’m Jungkook : )

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): Hi Jim!!!

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): Y/N you never told us you added someone new to the groupchat. I thought it was for bros only : /

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): yeah, and you can’t become a bro until you’ve passed the test…

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): guys im bro, promise/ dont be meqnn

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): Give us our bro back Jim! Y/N you were supposed to watch over Jimin and, now he’s been kidnapped!

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): lol

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): when Jimin’s been kidnapped but, Y/N is sleeping.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): Y/N not sleepoing shes getting dick

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): SHES GETTING WHAT??????????

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): WITH WHO????

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): lol Y/N can’t have sex, she’s allergic…..RIGHT Y/N???????????

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): agust d <3

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): She’s getting dicked down by man named August?

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): fuck, now I’m really concerned

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): Y/N YOU BETTER ANSWER US

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): I’m going back to Overwatch, this is traumatic

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): time to gg sleeplove u guys

BROS FOR LYFE (Taehyung): JIMIN YOU CAN”T JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THIS AND LEAVE???

BROS FOR LYFE (Jimin): ^-^

You let out an airy laugh as you read through the chat, shaking your head at your friends. Yoongi glances over at you, smirking curiously.

“What?” He murmurs

“Jimin told my friends where I was last night and, now they all think I had sex with a man named August.” You explain, giggling as you open the messages to finally respond.

Yoongi’s rickety laugh fills the car as he shakes his head but, you don’t miss the familiar blush on his cheeks.

“Please make sure they know my name isn’t August…” Yoongi pleads as he makes the sharp turn onto the main road.

You nod, laughing as your thumbs type out your response.

BROS FOR LYFE: His name isn’t August. If you guys want to know more, I’m free to FaceTime after 7. Please save your questions, comments, and concerns until then.

Jimin, you better be drinking the orange juice I sent to your house last night.

Love you, ya weirdos.

You slip your phone back into your purse and, lean back into the seat smirking softly to yourself as you feel your phone vibrate. Your friends are impatient. However, you weren’t sure how long you’d be spending with Yoongi so, you didn’t want to spend it on your phone.

“Right here?” Yoongi asks softly, nodding to the brick building on the right side of the street.

“Yeah that’s it.” You respond smiling, eager to get some caffeine in you after a long night.

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Yoongi had ordered an extra-large iced Americano and you had ordered your usual but, both of you decided to pair your coffee with buttery croissants. Yoongi pays and stated that “this doesn’t count as one of the next three times just so we’re clear” he also may have thrown in an “I’m a rich man now” which caused you to laugh heartily and agree.

“So, now that you’re a rich man, how do you plan on spending your Saturday?” You ask him as the two of you pull out of the drive thru.

“I have to keep working on my composition project but, I wasn’t planning on doing it until later. I’m normally not awake this early.” He explains, his eyes brighter after taking a drink of his Americano. A smirk plays on his lips as he opens his mouth to say something before closing it again.

“What?” You press, your head jerking in his direction.

“Nothing.” He brushes you off but, the playful smile doesn’t really leave his lips. “What about you? Any plans?”

“I have a study group at 4 for my Minority Relations final but, I usually try and relax on Saturdays.” You respond, happily sipping your drink. “There’s a documentary on Netflix that I’ve been wanting to watch though, so I might do that.”

“What’s it about?”

“Dragons.” You say dramatically, fluttering your fingers at him.

Yoongi chuckles, leaning away from your hand as he shakes his head.

“You’re ridiculous.” He mutters through his rickety laugh, stealing another glance in your direction.

You shrug, simply, not bothering to refute his claim as you take a bite of your croissant.

“I like to watch educational content from time to time, I’ve gotta keep my mind sharp or these last few months of school will turn my brain to mush.” You elaborate, giggling lightly as you nod towards the parking structure near your building. “You should come watch it though; dragons and rappers have a lot in common.”

“A documentary on dragons is not educational content.” He retorts, his brows raised, his tone final before a laugh breaks through his rebuttal. “What do dragons and rappers have in common?”

“They both spit fire.” You answer immediately smirking, the pride from a well delivered dad joke overwhelming you.

Yoongi’s eyes widen momentarily and he opens his mouth, looking disgusted with you. You giggle at his reaction, taking another sip of your drink as he shakes his head.

“Not all rappers spit fire.” He mutters and, you can tell he is stifling a laugh as the joke finally settles.

“Baby dragons don’t spit fire, they have to learn, so, not all dragons spit fire either.” You retort, trying to contain your excitement as Yoongi pulls into your buildings parking structure.

“I didn’t realize you were dragon expert.” He smirks, his tone sarcastic and challenging.

“I’m an expert on a lot of things.”

Yoongi’s brow raises, intrigued and challenging, as he looks for a parking spot.

“Oh she’s an expert in a lot of things…” He muses before nodding to you, still smirking. “Do tell...”

You think over his request for a moment before answering.

“I’m pretty well versed in getting A’s on papers I write the night before they’re due, cooking perfect pasta, hangover cures, moral support, secret keeping, making you cum so hard your eyes water….”You let the last one slip out as casually as you can muster and, you feel the car jerk slightly as Yoongi’s foot accidentally taps the break too hard. “…things like that.” You finish smirking as Yoongi pulls into an available space.

“You’re gonna kill me.” He mutters, letting out a breath.

You giggle, looking over at him, delighting in the fact that at a moment’s notice, you’re able to fluster him.

“What a way to go.” You quip, finishing up the last of your drink before undoing your seatbelt.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, his cheeks flushed before following your lead and stepping out.

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“I wish dragons were real.” You mumble to yourself, eyes glued to the screen, your brow furrowed.

You and Yoongi had made it up to your apartment and, after changing into some sweat-shorts and a t shirt, you had offered Yoongi one of your many hoodies to change into. He had, of course, gladly accepted your offer as it was pretty cold in your apartment (also they smelled like you and, Yoongi really loved the way you smelled but, of course he kept this part to himself as he slipped the neck of the hoodie over his head.) You were now currently snacking on your favorite homemade caramel corn that you had made and, nestled under your crème colored cable knit blanket.

“Oh yeah, that’s all the world needs right now, capitalism, world hunger and, giant fire breathing flying monsters.” Yoongi grumbles. You were tucked into his side, his arm wrapping around you tighter as another CGI image of a dragon pops onto the screen.

“Are you afraid of dragons Yoongi?” Your eyes are alight with mischief as you pinch Yoongi’s side lightly, causing him to jerk away from you, scoffing.

“No, obviously not, they’re just so loud...”He defends, his expression offended that you could suggest such a thing. You nod pensively, stifling the giggle that bubbles in your throat.

“They are pretty loud...” You concede, placating him, smiling fondly at his furrowed brow and pouty lips.

“Exactly.” Yoongi mutters, cuddling into you further, his frown deepening as another dragon roars on the screen.

God, he really was like an angry little kitten.

The two of you settled into a comfortable silence, entranced in the documentary playing on your TV. You couldn’t believe the events of the last 24 hours and, you had to tell yourself not to overtthink what might be happening between you and Yoongi. You had a tendency to want an explanation for every unanswered question that popped into your head but, this time, you wanted to try and live in the moment. You liked Yoongi and, he apparently, liked you too. That’s all that mattered.

Yoongi could sense you were distracted but, rather than comment on it, he chooses instead to press a kiss to your cheek. You smile as you feel his lips, turning to place your own against his, your hand coming up to touch his cheek. Yoongi lets out a sigh as he feels your lips, his movements slow and deliberate as he deepens the kiss slightly. Your noses nudge one another as you shift in your seated position to gain better access to his lips. You’re almost annoyed at the throbbing between your legs that comes all too soon.

Yoongi’s lips were dangerous.

The kiss between the two of you breaks as you move your lips to the side to kiss the arm that was wrapped around you.

You press a kiss his bicep, smiling into it, relishing in the fact that the “hot guy from psych” was currently cuddled up on your couch, wearing your sweatshirt.

You place a few more kisses down his sweater-covered arm before your lips finally reach his wrist. Yoongi’s cologne lingers on the delicate skin of his there and, you can’t resist the urge to press a kiss underneath the cuff of the sweater. It was then, you felt his pulse point hammering wildly against his skin. His heart was pounding and, you had barely touched him.

“Are you ok?” You murmur softly against his wrist and, you feel his pulse pick up even more. You press another kiss to it, as if to soothe the rapid beating of his heart but, it’s useless.

“Y...yeah.” He manages to utter one word and, you can feel that his gaze still hasn’t left you.

You let your lips trail up the skin of his thumb, pressing another kiss at the base of it before moving towards his finger tip. Yoongi’s thumb seems to follow your mouth as if the two were magnetized, and when your lips finally reach the tip of it, Yoongi positions his thumb between your lips.

It’s a request not a demand and, you feel your panties grow damp at how well-mannered he is.

You take his thumb into your mouth, coaxing your tongue against the bottom of it and, Yoongi shutters, imaging how your mouth would feel if it was wrapped around another part of him. His hips shift beneath the blanket, his dick starting to swell in his boxers as you lave your tongue against his finger. You suck on his thumb, paying attention to the lines and curves of his hand as you allow him a taste of what your mouth feels like. You couldn’t help the way Yoongi made you feel. He made you feel powerful and, sexy and, depraved all at the same time. You wanted to devour him and, let him devour you. Yoongi hooks his thumb against the inside of your cheek, pulling your face towards him before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was different than the one you shared yesterday: it was slow, deliberate, and sensual. It felt as though you had all the time in the world.

Yoongi tasted like caramel corn and, you found yourself leaning into him more and more as the kiss deepened. Your hand comes up to caress Yoongi’s cheek, earning a shutter from him in the process as you move that same hand back into his hair. You turn your body and, move to sit on your knees, Yoongi’s neck craning to keep his lips attached to your own as if it was his lifeline. Yoongi makes a small sound at the back of his throat, only egging you on further as you suck his bottom lip between your own. At this, Yoongi lets out another shudder, his hands coming up to grip your hips for support. Your free hand comes out to brace yourself against Yoongi’s chest and you smirk into his mouth as you feel his heartbeat drumming wildly against your hand.

“Your heart is beating so fast Yoongi, should I kiss it?” You whisper against his mouth causing him to melt beneath you, nodding eagerly in response, his words caught in the back of his throat.

You take your time, kissing and biting down the silky skin of his neck and, nibbling gently on his collarbones.

His entire body is buzzing with desire, his jeans feeling tighter as his dick swells with every motion of your mouth, his hands squeezing your hips desperately as he tries to hold on to some sense of composure.

Your lips finally reach his chest, your eyes looking up to meet his. His normally chocolate eyes are black with need, his cheeks flushed pink, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead; it’s exactly how he’s meant to look. You bite you lip, never breaking his gaze as you pull the sweater off of his body, pleased to see that he wasn’t wearing his t shirt underneath it. Yoongi pushes a hand through the hair that had fallen in his face, his breathing ragged as he stares back at you. You smirk down at him, before leaning in and placing a few wet kisses against his pulsating chest, your hands coming up to brush lightly against his ribs. Yoongi squirms beneath you but, makes no complaints outside of his breath catching in his throat. His stomach trembles at your ministrations and, you bite your lip, looking up at him.

“Your stomach is quivering Yoongi, should I kiss you there too?” You whisper, still kissing at his chest.

“Fuck...” He whispers as his head falls back against the couch, a small whimper behind his lips as he nods once again but, this time he manages to respond properly, “You can do whatever you want to me...”

This makes your brows raise in curiosity, your motions stopping momentarily.

“Whatever I want huh?”

He nods again, his eyes desperate as he looks down at you, his tongue licking over his puffy lips.

“Whatever the fuck you want.” He affirms, his tone slightly more intense as his hands tighten on your hips.

Your resolve breaks slightly as you lean in to his lips, his shaky breath puffing against your mouth. You kiss him again, softer this time, swallowing another one of his whimpers as your tongue lightly brushes against his.

You lick your lips, contemplating as you lean back on Yoongi’s lap, deciding it was a good time to take off your t-shirt. Your nipples harden as your skin is exposed to the cool air in your living room. Yoongi’s eyes don’t leave yours, staring into them, as he resists the urge to look at your bare chest for the first time.

“Can I look at you?” He murmurs, his voice trembling slightly, his thumbs rubbing over the skin of your hips. You bite your lip as you feel the damp spot on Yoongi’s jeans, signaling that not only was he hard but, dripping for you.

You don’t answer him, instead, you place your hand on his chin, angling his eyes toward your breasts, arching your back slightly. Yoongi lets out a shaky sigh, licking his lips hungrily as he takes in the sight of you. He shakes his head, his eyes a light in adoration.

“You’re beautiful...” He whispers, his hands sliding up your sides, glancing at your face for signs of disapproval and, when he found none, his hands continue their journey up your body. Before settling just below your breasts. He looks up at you again, meeting your gaze that held the same amount of adoration for him.

“Can I touch you?”

At his question, you take his hands in yours, your eyes leaving his as you place his hands ontop of your breasts. Yoongi, sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he attempts to control another whimper in the back of his throat. His hands take their time as he squeezes your supple breasts in his hands, his thumbs brushing over your nipples gently as his hips grind up against you once more. You could feel your swollen clit throbbing in your underwear and couldn’t remember a time where you had been more turned on.

You feel Yoongi’s soft fingertips pinch your nipples and, for the first time you find yourself whimpering at his touch. As soon as the sound breaks past your lips, Yoongi shudders, his lips suddenly attaching themselves to your neck, kissing and sucking into your skin, desperately, his fingers pinching your nipples again, his hips moving more deliberately against yours.

“Please fuck me...” He whispers through his kisses, his hands working your tits as, Yoongi pleads with you. “I really need it jagi, please...will you?” His eyes look up into your own as he pauses between his assault on your neck. His gaze is glossy, uncontrolled and, unashamed as he begs, his lips finding your own as he starts kissing at your mouth.

“Please jagi...I need to hear you again, I need to feel it...jagi...can I? Can I feel your pussy again? I promise I’ll be good jagi...I’ll make it so good for you, I’ll be a good man for you jagi. Please fuck me...please fuck me...” He’s completely lost it at this point and, you don’t even fully comprehend what’s happening outside of his lips. His words are shattering you, enchanting you and, you feel so overwhelmed with lust that you feel like you’re going to burst.

All you can do is nod, moving off of Yoongi for the moment that it takes you to remove the rest of your clothes. Yoongi wastes no time in removing his jeans and boxers, his swollen dick hitting his stomach as he does. He winces, letting out a sigh of relief, no doubt uncomfortable from being hard in his tight jeans for so long.

You look at him from your standing position, the two of you observing one another completely naked for the first time. Yoongi shakes his head, overwhelmed, his palms itching as he reaches out for you. You take his hands as you move to straddle his hips once again, his hardened dick resting against the outside of your pussy. Yoongi’s lips find yours again as he kisses you harder than before, sweat forming on his forehead, causing his platinum strands to stick there slightly.

“Ask me again...” You whisper, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth again because, its too fucking hard to resist.

Yoongi nods obediently, his hands roaming all over your back and hips, inching towards your ass as he speaks.

“Can I have your pussy again? Please?” His begging is muffled slightly around your mouth as you nibble on his bottom lip.

At his request, you reach down between the two of you, gripping his length in your palm and position it at your entrance. You look into Yoongi’s eyes, staring into them as you slowly sink down on his thick length. You shudder as you feel him pulsing inside of you, slowly adjusting to him as he whimpers pitifully beneath you, his glossy eyes never leaving yours.

“Thank you...” He moans shakily, his narrow hips flexing up to meet yours, grinding sinfully, his dick angling right up against the spongey spot inside of you. You nod in response, unable to form many words as you lean in, kissing him deeply, your hands taking his and pinning them up on either side of his head. Yoongi whimpers against your mouth, his dick throbbing at your dominance as he grinds up harder against you.

“Does it feel good baby?” You whisper into his mouth and at a certain swivel of your hips, Yoongi’s dark eyes roll back into his head. The right corner of his mouth is wet with drool as he tries his best to open his eyes again to meet yours.

“so...fucking...good.” He manages, his hips moving more desperately as he starts to chase his high “You fuck me so good...I didn’t...know it could be so good.” He confesses, his words sending you hurling towards your own high as you moan into his mouth.

His eyes open and a look of determination plays in his gaze as he starts fucking up into you.

“I love the sounds you make jagi...wanna feel you cum around me. Can you do that jagi? Can you cum around my dick?” His voice is a whimper but, the movements of his hips suggest that he is anything but, weak underneath you.

“Fuck...Yoongi...” You moan softly, your hands squeezing his own as you ride him, the cheap couch underneath the two of you shifting slightly with your movements. You could feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck, the sweat collecting on your body and, although the two of you likely looked like a mess, you had never cared less in your entire life. The only thing that mattered was the unbelievable feeling between you and Yoongi.

Yoongi’s lips are exploring your neck, sucking and licking over you as his hips grind into yours.

“How do you taste so good everywhere jagi? It’s not fair...what you do to me...it’s not fair.” Yoongi was out of it, his voice scratchy and almost animalistic as he sucks a mark into your neck, nuzzling against as you let out another moan. His dick throbs inside of you at the sound and this causes you to smirk.

“You like it when I make noise don’t you?” You whisper teasingly and all he does is grunt in response, nodding weakly as he whimpers again.

“Are you close?” you whisper urgently, your swollen clit tingling as you grind it against his pubic bone, the feeling coupled with Yoongi’s dick, starting to send you over the edge.

“I’ve been close since I felt your pussy around me...” He admits, his hips snapping as he fucks into you. “Can...can I...? Will you cum with me?” He pleads

You nod eagerly, grinding down to meet his hips, chills erupting over your skin as you feel the beginning of an intense orgasm.

“Cum with me...” You affirm and the moment you give permission, you feel Yoongi tense up beneath you, his narrow hips flexing twice as he spills inside of you, his fingers squeezing yours almost painfully.

“Fuck...” He whimpers softly, his eyes watering yet again as his head lulls back against the couch, his eyes shutting as he rides out his high. His dick throbs inside of you as you contract around him, your own orgasm swimming in your lower region. Your clit pulses through its entirety, your body growing weaker as you use the last of your energy to press yourself into Yoongi’s hips one last time.

Your hands slip out of Yoongi’s as you slump against his trembling body, your own breathing not fairing much better. Tucking yourself into his neck, you move slightly so, he slips out of you, both of you wincing at the loss of contact. He brings a shaky hand up, moving your hair off of your sweaty forehead so he can press his lips to it. The gesture makes your heart tighten and you press your lips against whatever part of him you manage to reach. The two of you take a moment to come down, the only sound being your breath for awhile before Yoongi speaks

“Your phone’s ringing.” He says softly, his voice still not back to normal.

You pull back, steadying yourself against him for a moment before turning to see that someone from your study group was calling you.

“Shit.” You whisper, hoping that you hadn’t lost track of time.

You clear your throat before swiping to answer the call.

“Hello?”

It was one of your study group members letting you know that the group had decided to meet at a café on Lock Avenue verses meeting at your usual place. The conversation was brief and pleasant but, it unfortunately brought you out of your own little world and back to reality. When your phone call ends, you turn to the couch, where a naked, fucked out Yoongi was still laying, seemingly still in recovery mode.

You giggle at his languid state, your eyes lit up in fondness as you observe him. His eyes glance up at you, amusement prominent in them as he nods in your direction.

“What?” He presses, smirking at you, his hand on his bare stomach, his dick softened slightly between his legs.

“Nothing, you just look good.” You say simply, leaning down to place a kiss to his lips and, he responds with as much enthusiasm as he can, clearly still exhausted. The clock on your phone read 3:28 and, this sadly meant that you had to start getting ready for your study group. Yoongi, of course, was very understanding, his movements slow as he slipped his clothes back on and, helped throw some of the trash away.

Once the two of you were dressed and your living room was mostly tidied, you walked Yoongi to your front door, taking your time as you did, not wanting to say your goodbyes.

“We never finished the documentary...” Yoongi points out, smirking knowingly at the main menu of Netflix that was currently displayed on the TV. You shrug, unashamed, your eyes glancing towards it before looking back at Yoongi.

“We had better things to do besides, you still owe me three more meals remember? I’m sure we’ll finish it sooner or later.” You nudge him as the two of you approach your door and, Yoongi takes this an opportunity to pull you closer, still smirking as he nods.

“That’s very true, don’t even bring your wallet out the next time we meet up.” He insists, looking at you sternly causing you to giggle.

“Fine...” You concede

Yoongi looks pleased with your answer before he looks toward the door uneasily, biting his lip, his eyes showing a bit of nerves that you hadn’t seen in awhile.

“Listen...um... I’m not really the hooking up type so,” His hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck, his eyes looking away from yours as he continues his thought, “if it’s alright with you, I’d like to see where this goes. I know we don’t have a lot of time right now but, I’d like to keep things going...if you want to, that is.”

You smile warmly, tilting his head back to yours, pressing a kiss to his lips before nodding.

“I want to.” You murmur, kissing his lips again, followed by his nose and his cheeks.

Yoongi smiles his gummy smile, and this makes your heart explode into a thousand pieces.

“Good luck tonight, I can’t wait to hear your project when its all finished, I’m sure it’s amazing.” You say as you open the door for him.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure to send you a copy when it’s all done.” He promises, his cheeks flushed at your compliment before, he looks reluctantly towards the door. “I hope your study group goes well, just a few more exams and we’ll be out of here. I’ll see you on Tuesday yeah?” He asks but, before you can answer he sneaks in another kiss, causing you to giggle.

“See you Tuesday. You better not sleep through your alarm.” You tease against his lips and, he pulls back offended, his hand to his chest.

“Me? Oversleep? I would never.” He insists before pecking your lips once more, his smile warm as he pulls away.

You shake your head in disbelief as he does, trying to contain the smile that keeps breaking through your features.

“Bye Yoongi.” You whisper as he turns to head down the hallway

“Bye Y/N.” He murmurs back, smiling as he makes his way to the elevator.

To quote the drunk texting Park Jimin, ‘agust d <3.’

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