#i will not pretend to write a song that's Famous™

[xenon-demon]

🔀 for steddie 💕

Thank you so much for the ask Janai!!!!!! Just so we all know I'm shuffling my big "Liked Songs" playlist for this ask game, so any song I've saved on Spotify since 2017 could come up lmao. For this ask I got Love Might Be Found (Volcano) by Montaigne! Oooooh man okay this is such a good song, it's about being in the earlier stages of a relationship and then having to leave them for some reason, so you're wishing for a reason to stay and see if things would've worked out (like a natural disaster closing the airports or smth).

The obvious Steddie AU for this (at least imo) is therefore a modern AU where Corroded Coffin has the opportunity to make it big and achieve their dreams of becoming a famous metal band, but doing so requires moving away from Indiana. Moving away from Steve (who at this point is friends-with-benefits with Eddie and they're both hopelessly pining). Steve, who doesn't want to be the reason Eddie gives up on his dreams, just lets him go and pretends he's not madly in love with Eddie, since he thinks (correctly) that Eddie loves him back and would refuse to leave Steve behind if they were boyfriends. Eddie is heartbroken that Steve's not trying harder to keep him, because he really thought they had the start of something good together. Cue a prolonged period of extreme angst and long-distance pining from both of them, Eddie writes at least four heartbroken ballads about how much he misses Steve, Steve follows CC's progress in the music industry religiously but refuses to admit that to anyone. (Robin knows, though. She always does).

EVENTUALLY they get their shit together when CC throw a launch party for their sophomore album, at which point they've blown up enough that they can afford to invite their friends from back home as well. It's actually Jeff who invites Steve, because you've got him fucked up if you think he's going to listen to Eddie moan about The One Who Got Away™ for another fucking second. Steve is very skeptical of the invite, because he hasn't heard from Eddie since a few months after they moved away, but eventually caves on the condition he can bring Robin. They spend almost the entire launch party staunchly not speaking to one another, which gets very awkward when some of Eddie's new friends from the music industry start asking questions about how they know each other (because they very obviously do). It only stops when Steve and Robin are having an emotional debrief in the men's bathroom (because Robin is not going to let a gendered bathroom sign keep her away from her platonic soulmate in his time of need - and also CC hired out a function room for a private event, so the only people even using the bathroom are from their event). Mid-breakdown, just as Steve's about to admit he still has feelings for Eddie all this time, they get interrupted by someone entering the bathroom. It's Eddie, because of course it is.

Eddie tries to play it off as needing a piss, but he's obviously come in here for a mental breakdown of his own. Robin takes one look at the absolutely stricken way he looks at Steve, like he's been stabbed right through the chest at the sight of him, and takes a risk. She says she's going to guard the bathroom door until they sort their shit out and leaves them alone in there together.

To her credit, she lasts almost half an hour at the bathroom door of death-glaring every drunk man who so much as looks her way. But then she hears a crashing noise, followed by the distinct sound of someone moaning coming from the bathroom behind her, and decides those bastards are on their own now.

Send me a 🔀 and a pairing, and I'll shuffle my playlist and give you an AU about that pairing based on the first song that comes up!

[percontaion-points]

Delicious Monsters chapters 3 & 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 3

The thing about having a name like Brittney is that it creates a certain image. An impression. People have thoughts about a name like Brittney. 

Picture a Brittney. Right now. Think of who that might be. 

I bet you’re not imagining me. 

That’s the best part about my name. People never see me coming.

I stride through the office, towering over the other interns at my full 5’11” height, taking up space with a Yeah, I’m fat, get over it attitude, black-and-lilaccolored braids swinging above my shoulders, and my laptop tucked under my arm. The thing about confidence is that it doesn’t matter if you really have it or not, so long as you pretend well enough.

The problem with the name Brittney is that it was so popular when millennials were being born. I’ve met so many Brittneys. 

The problem with this character introduction isn’t the fact that she’s black. Because I’ve met black Brittneys before. 

The problem is that the girl that I’m picturing is a giant bitch who thinks that she’s better than everybody. And uh… The introduction to this is already kind of proving my point. 

“The stakeholders feel that ‘Forgotten Black Girls’ as a theme is a bit isolating and niche.”

Quick question: are the stakeholders white baby boomer men? 

And I can show that her beloved house of miracles is a thin cover-up for a house of horrors. A sham, just like her.

Chapter 3 summary: I guess that the narration is going to switch between Brittany in the present day and Daisy 10 years earlier. Or something, IDK. 

Anyway, Brittany is 19 years old, and works for an online company called Torte… But the only thing you need to know about this company is that it’s basically off-brand Buzzfeed. They started off doing content farm garbage, moved on to making videos making fun of their original videos, and then started branching out from there. 

Brittany and her BFF, Jayden, got picked up by Torte because of their youtube channel, in which they discussed hauntings. Their supervisor, a do-nothing middle-aged white man, tells them that the stakeholders rejected their proposal about “Forgotten Black Girls”, with the thought that it was a little too niche. 

Backing up a little, we’re introduced to some of Brittany’s obligatory Tragic Backstory™. She was abused a lot as a child, but then her mom turned her life around. Seemingly only so that she could write a best-selling book about it. Said book is on Torte’s “communal bookcase” in the office. The entire thing pisses Brittany off something fierce, but she can’t make a scene about it, or else it’ll make her situation worse. 

Anyway, after their supervisor tells them to come up with a new proposal, Jayden mentions an anonymous email they got about the “miracle house” that supposedly cured Brittany’s mother, Daisy. (Yes, I’m aware that the maths ain’t mathing with that. I’m hoping for an explanation later.) However, in the email, the person implied that there was a darker side of the house that was now so famous thanks to Daisy’s book. 

Brittany’s and Jayden’s proposal about “houses that kill” is immediately approved for the third season of their youtube series. 

Chapter 4

Delighted. Absolutely delighted. She breathed out, “Yes.”

Chapter 4 summary: We’re back over with Daisy. Apparently, we’re going to be jumping back and forth between these two. Hoping for a big pay-off as to what’s going on later, but we’ll see. 

Anyway, so Daisy goes back to the hovel of an apartment she shares with her mother. There’s a moment where she explains to the readers that in order to keep the ghosts away from her while she’s sleeping, she has to listen to Kidz Bop. (Covers of popular songs done by children, for children.) She hates it, but it works, so it doesn’t matter. 

When she comes in, she finds her mom on the phone with grandma. They’re talking about The House. Which almost seems like one of those metaphorical things. “Our lives will be so much better when we’re able to afford a house!” kind of situations… Yet you know that mom will never be able to actually afford a house. And she also seems to blame Daisy for “wanting to live in the city”. Ugh. 

Mom gets angry that Daisy is standing there, so Daisy goes into the bathroom, where she looks at herself in the mirror. She doesn’t know who the greasy-skinned girl staring back at her is. For sure not the girl that dated Noah. We’re then subjected to a painstakingly long and detailed description of Daisy washing and then combing out her hair. Why. 

She eventually grabs her mom’s wig hair scissors, and starts hacking off her own hair. Mainly the parts of it that are chemically treated to be straight. Exactly like how Noah likes it. 

As she does this, she thinks about how she accidentally got drunk at a college party with Noah’s friends. This girl is 17, BTW. Noah is 100% a groomer. It’s not so much the drinking that lead to their break-up, but the fact that she let slip that she’s not exactly in college. Because she’s still in high school. One of Noah’s female friends tried to message Daisy claiming to want to help (trust me, I’ve been on both sides of that conversation, and it’s never fun.), but Daisy blocked her. That was right before Noah ghosted her. You know, because Daisy accidentally outed him as a creeper. 

Mom comes in and startles Daisy, so she accidentally slices her eyebrow with the scissors. As her mom helps Daisy to take care of the injury, she laments over Daisy having shorn most of her hair off. Daisy asks about The House, to which her mother only says “Yes”. 

[buscandoelparaiso]

Don't think H is lying per say. Many artists have acknowledged that the music they are writing is made of projections, or written as if from the perspective of a close friend etc. Harry said this album is personal to him, so perhaps he is using different techniques. He is incredibly incredibly intelligent and I'm sure his songs will be laced with symbolism and double meanings (as he has demonstrated with Carolina and Olivia) while still being about his experiences.

When I say ‘lying” i mean not being honest about certain topics, not lying as in HARRY IS A LIAR!111 OMG SO FAKE IN EVERYTHING HE DOES!1HOW DARE HE!1111111. I meant that IF/WHEN (cause we don’t know the lyrics yet!!!!!!!!!) he sings stuff like ‘i slept with women,i had a one night stands, yeaaaaah sex drug and rock-n-roll bitches111!!11’ we know it’s not true and it might be a song inspired by something else or someone else, a story he heard, a dream he had, something he wanted to tell metaphorically using the image of a woman but if applied to his real life it doesn’t apply. Why? Cause 1.  i believe he doesn’t sleep with women and never has in the past 7 years (let alone in the ‘groupie’ way press wants us to know about) 2. i know that even if harry IS indeed an artist that lives in this rich&famous environment with everything this entails, he is also in a committed relationship which he sings about in songs that are indeed personal and close to his real life, songs he has written and published  for past 5/6 years and wrote for his new solo album as well. So I agree with you, he is clever and i think he explored different kind of genres and topics in his production, he has songs which are clearly about "someone” he is in love with who feels like home, a relationship he still has that had his ups and downs like a normal relationship has, that had struggles that were solved and they love each other more than before and will forever belong to each other etc., but he also might have (cause again, we don’t know what the context of the rest of the album is!!!!!!!!!!!!!) songs about women or angsty lyrics that might ‘hint at breakups’ or whatever houies like to get off on, and it doesn’t mean they are related to his real life (cause clearly they aren’t if we look at the reality presented in the past years and still now!) a life that remains private and not public to the world (cause he is in the closet!!!!!!!!! just like louis!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so it can be explored in songs for the audience only from certain angles. Plus, he has a big audience to appeal and people have to relate to his songs and make them theirs in order to like them and buy them so while he stays authentic in some songs, he also has songs that appeal hets and antis cause they are part of his public and if they like the content, they spend money and help with the sales. (let’s not pretend making an album is ONLY about art and music, it’s not a hobby, it’s his job and he earns money for that -a  lot of money!- just like the rest of the big acts in the industry, it’s music but also business and marketing, especially with ‘commercial products’ like Harry Styles(tm))  With this said, I suggest everyone to CALM DOWN and WAIT for the whole lyrics so we can know for sure what the songs are about instead of eating each other alive about interpretations that come from two lines possibly made up by an anti to mock larries. That’s all I meant with my post. I hope I cleared what I meant when I said this album is not 100% authentic and Harry is ‘lying’, his album will be as real as possible once he’ll be allowed to. Before that, this is the best he can do. Mixing metaphors, stories and real life in a work I am sure it’ll be very interesting, I agree. 

[antebunny]

Parent Trap AU 5

It’s a Parent Trap AU, plus on-the-run hacker!wwx and celebrity!lwj. Full series here.

-

At first, Lan Wangji finds writing songs to be extremely challenging.

He’s all but quit his job, and his son is gone. He’s alone in the house he once shared with his family, while his brother tries to keep quiet about pitying him and supporting him, and his uncle demands to know why he has no interest in searching for his son. He’s the one that files the kidnapping report, in the end. Not that it does much; they’re already searching for Wei Ying, since he escaped from prison.

All Lan Wangji really does, during this time, is cry by his piano, and sing.

The melodies come naturally to him. He’s been writing melodies for years, and these songs are no different. He has a thousand things to say, so some are angry, so fast he thinks he might tear his fingers on the guitar strings, some are soft with only piano accompaniment. All too soon he has dozens of recordings of phrases that can be put together into full-length songs. The only one he doesn’t record is the one he wrote for guqin, years ago.

But the lyrics, the lyrics he struggles with for ages. Not Lan Wangji finds himself at a loss for what to say. He doesn’t speak much, it’s true, but when he does he always finds precisely what he wants to say. Rather, Lan Wangji finds he has too much to say.

One Friday afternoon, he sits down on his couch and plays the same ten-minute ballad on his guitar, trying again and again to find a way to shorten it without feeling like he’s ripping a part of his already shattered heart out of his chest. While suppressing the urge to write more verses. He knows he can’t leave them all in; it’s too repetitive. He wants these songs to be good, though he doesn’t really plan on marketing them. A large part of him thinks it’ll always be like this. Just him and his instruments, alone in the living room, mourning over a love long lost, making himself cry over his own lyrics.

Still, Lan Wangji is a perfectionist at heart. He has to do something about the ten-minute ballad. It’s longer than two songs put together.

What if I made them two separate songs?

The thought comes to Lan Wangji suddenly, and he sets down his guitar to pick up the notebook containing the lyrics. This could work. He becomes convinced of this the longer he looks at the lyrics. He’ll never run out of things to say about Wei Ying, but if he separated each of those things into one song–that could work.

He chooses a different melody, edits the lyrics to fit it, picks out a theme, an aspect of Wei Ying to sing about, and suddenly he has a whole discography, and not a single published song.

Lan Wangji goes to his brother.

“Are you sure about this?” Lan Xichen asks, his brows pulled together in a small, worried dip.

“Mn.”

They stare at each other without speaking, because Lan Xichen knows that every concern he might think of, Lan Wangji has already over thought.

“Even if he hears them?”

Lan Wangji will never be famous enough that Wei Ying, wherever in the world he might be, will hear his songs. But if he does, then all the better. “Mn.”

Lan Xichen sighs. “I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t think that’s possible. “Hm.”

Lan Xichen sighs again. “Okay,” he says. “If that’s what you want. I’m sure A-Yao knows someone. I’ll ask.”

It’s a while before he finds someone who’ll actually produce his music, but he’s happy with the person he ends up with. Luo Qingyang emails him back almost immediately after she listens to his demo.

I need you down here yesterday, she says. This is getting produced right now.

His first song, When We Were Young, is released as a single less than a year after the scandal that took Wei Ying from his life, under the stage name “Hanguang-jun.” He’s not sure it fits, but he wants to.

And suddenly, it looks like Lan Wangji might actually be that famous.

Of course, it’s still years in the future, so Lan Wangji carries on like he’s not. His second single, At First Glance, does even better than When We Were Young, and his manager starts bothering him about a music video. Apparently it’s expected of him, but Lan Wangji rejects all of the ideas that the directors Luo Qingyang finds for him come up with. They end up renting a house for a week and filming there, then going to a studio with lights and a piano. Lan Wangji dresses up for that and plays his heart out, and that’s it, that’s the music video.

His third single, Under Moonlight, is somehow more popular than his previous two combined. He has fans now, or maybe it’s just that he’s only now realizing it. He’s not quite sure what to do with that. The video this time takes place on the very bridge the song talks about. He doesn’t do much, since he rejected the idea of hiring actors to play the “counterpart,” so he’s confused as to why it continues gaining views on YouTube. Apparently he looks young. He’s not sure if this is insulting or not, but the internet would probably be shocked to learn he has a five-year-old son.

Lan Sizhui is too young to listen to music by himself, so Lan Wangji hopes that somewhere, there’s a radio playing one of the new hit songs by Hanguang-jun, and a father-son duo walking past.

Luo Qingyang bullies him into exactly one interview before his first album is released. On it, he accidentally confirms that all the songs on the album are about one person, and panics after that, not wishing to reveal anything about Wei Ying or even Lan Wangji’s own name on camera.

Apparently the mystery helps? Lan Wangji understands fame less and less the closer he comes to it. He thought if he just wrote good songs, enough people would listen to him that Wei Ying would hear it. Wei Ying is spotted in Thailand, and Lan Wangji ends up naming his first album Oceans Apart.

It sells, and it sells, and still, Wei Ying and their son are nowhere to be found.

-

Wei Wuxian is lying on a roof the night of his wedding anniversary.

Purple, white, and red fireworks explode in the black sky above him. There’s some celebration going on in the city, and Wei Wuxian takes advantage of it to pretend it’s in celebration of his anniversary.

Not that there’s much to celebrate. He doesn’t think it’s typical to celebrate the anniversary of a marriage which no longer exists, but their marriage didn’t end in the typical way either.

And he still loves Lan Zhan. Loves him so much that the sight of rabbits brings him to tears. So much that he feels like a traitor whenever someone so much as smiles in his direction, so much that he can’t imagine himself flirting with someone. So much that he cries on the roof when the fireworks light up the sky.

“Papa?”

Wei Wuxian looks to the right, and there’s Wei Sizhui, who is sometimes the only thing keeping Wei Wuxian going on his darkest nights. He’s nestled up with Wei Wuxian’s arm around him, small face peering earnestly at him from the dark. “What?”

“Why are you crying?”

Wei Wuxian raises one hand instinctively to rub the tears away. He’d forgotten about that. He’s thrown himself fully into caring for his son, making sure that he has clothes and good food to eat, which is hard when they never stay in a place for long and Wei Wuxian is paranoid of anyone who stares at them too long. Sometimes he wonders if he’s really doing any good, keeping Wei Sizhui away from his other father and uncles and aunts, from a happy childhood with friends and a school. And every time, he blinks back to the moment he woke up in the prison having narrowly avoided being murdered, and knows that Wei Sizhui is still safer with him than he’d be if he was still there, within the Jins reach.

“Nothing,” Wei Wuxian says. “It’s nothing.”

Wei Sizhui frowns. “But Papa is sad,” he declares.

Wei Wuxian presses the back of his hand over his eyes. Fireworks crack so loudly it muffles his shaky inhale. Tears stream down his cheeks and around his ears. Red lights flash across his eyelids.

-

White lights flash through the stage, focusing on the solitary grand piano, and Lan Wangji, in his white suit, seated on the piano bench. A hush falls across the massive crowd. He adjusts his microphone slightly, and places his fingers gently atop the keys. The cameras zoom in on him.

And Lan Wangji sings.

-

“I’m just remembering,” Wei Wuxian whispers. “Someone I used to know.”

“Is it Dad?” Wei Sizhui asks timidly.

Wei Wuxian inhales shakily again, then wraps his arm back around his son. “Yeah,” he admits. “It’s your other father.”

He hasn’t looked back since he ran away. Countless times, he’s thought about Googling the Jiangs in an internet cafe, just to check on how they’re doing. They have social media profiles, so he could. He could. But even the slightest hint of connection could ruin what Wei Wuxian has managed to salvage. The Jiangs would fight for him. Would drag their names in the mud for him, and he can’t let them do that to themselves, so he cuts all ties and doesn’t look back.

Wei Wuxian hasn’t dared to search Lan Wangji since he ran away.

-

“Hello,” Lan Wangji sings, and the crowd cheers.“It’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet, to go over everything. They say that time’s supposed to heal you, but I ain’t done much healing.”

Before he knows it, there’s tears streaming down his face. They drip onto his nice white suit, but the music doesn’t pause.

-

Hello from the other side

“Will we ever see him again?” Wei Sizhui asks plaintively.

I must have called a thousand times

Wei Wuxian tries to shake his head, his shoulders pressed against the dusty brick roof. “I don’t know, baby,” he says.

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done

“But why not?” Wei Sizhui pushes. It’s far from the first time he’s asked, but each day it gets harder and harder to answer.

Hello from the outside

“Because he’s very, very far away,” Wei Wuxian replies this time, and tries not to think of Lan Zhan as he last saw him, sleeping peacefully in their bed the night Wei Wuxian broke in and took Wei Sizhui with him. “Oceans away.”

At least I can say that I tried

Eventually, the fireworks stop, and Wei Sizhui falls asleep, head resting in the crook of Wei Wuxian’s arm. Wei Wuxian raises one hand to the midnight sky, pretends he can reach through the vast expanse to wherever his family is. “Happy anniversary, Lan Zhan,” he whispers. “I miss you.”

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart

Eventually, the song ends, and the cheers deafen the stadium. The lights go out long after Lan Wangji has gotten up from his seat and stepped away from the microphone. The tears on his face are invisible until the cameras focus in on him walking.

“Happy anniversary, Wei Ying,” he whispers, before he picks up the microphone to thank the crowd. “I love you.”