#i will never shut up about how truly breathtaking it is for yuta to be the one using gojo's body

[madwomansapologist]

once again thinking about how satosugu was used in death.

suguru, someone that turned into a curse user to ensure sorcerers wouldn’t die for a foolish reason, having his body used by a curse user to ensure sorcerers would kill each other in a death game.

satoru, someone that believed in the youth and endless times gambled with his own life to protect them, having his body used by a student in the hopes of overcoming this wretched thing walking freely.

how said student was the one to ultimately defeat suguru because he was willing to die for his friends. how yuta didn’t care about any foolish lie the sorcerers (aka suguru and kento) told themselves and fully accepted that dying for love was the right thing to do.

suguru's family deciding to follow or not kenjaku based on their love for geto. satoru's student doing the only thing the strongest couldn’t

[helstrome]

First Snowfall - Yuta

Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.

Genre: Angst? (drabble)

Word count: 1,556

Playlist: EXO - First Snow (첫 눈)

Chill gust of wind seeped through the tiny cracks of the window pane, the coldest time of the year had come around again. On the afternoon, first snow fell; everything was covered in white. If only he could call her to listen to her gentle, melodious voice excitedly telling him how she experienced her first snow of the year. Better yet, if only he could see it with her, walking hand in hand, his own nicely wrapped around her delicate ones.

“Yuta, look! My breath comes out in white smokes!” she giggled, repeatedly blowing into the freezing air.

He glared at her. “You’re such a child.”

“Oh come on, this is fu-” her sentence abruptly stopped by her own sneeze. She sniffed, rubbing her reddened nose with her gloved hands.

Warmth suddenly enveloped her as he brought her inside his own coat, holding her close. His hands came up to cup her cheeks, conducting his body heat to her blushing face. “Didn’t I tell you to dress warmer? Dummy.”

He got out from the apartment, the space suddenly felt suffocating. Wrapping himself in a thick grey coat, he decided to take a walk around the town. The street was filled with dainty lights, the buildings looked pretty from the colourful decorations; music playing from the cafes along the way, its sound overflowing outside. Couples and families passed him by, the look of joy clearly written all over their beaming faces. No one was supposed to be left alone in the cold, of course. A year has passed since the last time, but who was he to say that he was already over her? He used to be oblivious and stupid, he knew that. Taking everything for granted, thinking she would always be there like the air he breathed. He foolishly let her go, so there he was. Alone, and lonely.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He spoke out to her, loud and clear. His voice was void of emotions.

“What?” Her eyes widen, the sentence struck her like a lightning. “Yuta, what are you talking about?”

He tapped his fingers impatiently on the table. “You heard me. Let’s break up.”

The tears started to form, her eyes glistening under the bright light. It slided down her cheeks, falling in droplets onto her lap. She got up hastily, making everyone turned their faces at the piercing sound of chair being dragged. Her angry steps echoed loudly along the pavement.

“You’re breaking up with me just like that?!” A choking sob came out of her mouth to complete the question.

He turned around, something in his eyes made her bones shivered. “You sure you want to hear the reason? It would be best for you if I just leave like this.”

She held her ground, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m bored. You didn’t excite me anymore. I have been feeling unhappy lately, and whenever I’m with you it didn’t feel any better.”

She felt as though tons of bricks had fallen straight down at her. Her throat closed up, her fists clenched tightly on each of her sides. It wasn’t the Yuta she knew for the past two and a half years. He sure was not as romantic as other boyfriends, but he also wasn’t this kind of person. The Yuta she knew wouldn’t even try to hurt her with baseless reasons like that.

“Listen, it’s probably not you. People changed, I changed too-”

She held her hand up. “Don’t throw that bullshit at me. Are you seeing someone else?”

His gaze hardened, his body stiffened. “What?”

“This is about your so-called best friend, isn’t it? I always knew she wasn’t just a mere best friend, Yuta. You never brought me to hang out together. I spoke to her once, and she despised me. She told me to get away from you, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want you to think badly of her, because I felt like you’d pick me over her at that time. I was mistaken.”

He wanted to say no, but he also couldn’t lie. He did find himself drifting apart from her, and he had been taking refugees under his best friend’s familiar atmosphere. He began to spend more time with her instead of his girlfriend, because he found his best friend a lot more fun to be with. His girlfriend truly didn’t excite him any longer, he was used to the routines. He got fed up. He wanted freedom.

“I see. If that’s how it is, then you should have just said so from the beginning. At least you’d probably spare me the words of how I couldn’t make you happy anymore. It hurts really bad, hearing it came out from your own mouth. Tonight was our second time watching the first snow together, I hope it gave you a little happiness. That way I didn’t leave with such bad impression inside your memory, I suppose… I genuinely thank you for making me happy, Yuta. Winters with you were one of the things that felt especially wonderful. I wish you well.”

He still had no idea what was on his mind back then. He was the asshole. He did feel bored of the routine they got stuck in, but he could have done something instead of running away into someone else’s comfort. He didn’t get anywhere with his best friend in any way, he was aware shortly after that it was just because that her, the woman he considered as his best friend, came back to him at the precise timing when he wasn’t feeling like himself. The breathe of fresh air felt like an opening to freedom for him, so he took the leap. It was the worst choice he had ever made in his entire life. It was a typical story, that only after the time passed, he began to realise how precious his girlfriend was. He never noticed how important her presence was, being at his side. He was blinded, full of himself that she was the one who needed him the most, and not the other way around. Why didn’t he know back then?

His feet brought him back home without him noticing. Sliding the key silently, he opened the door, limply walking inside to his bedroom. Droplets of water fell from his coat as the latching snow on his coat melted from the warmer temperature, but nothing could grab his attention more than the only thing he had left of her. He slowly pulled the book out from the cabinet, where he kept it nicely tucked. It was worn out, the corners of the paperback curling unattractively. Her writings on the cover had faded in random spots where his tears accidentally fell on top of it. She never went back to claim it, her music book. He knew it was where she wrote down things that inspire her; be it random scribbles, poems, sayings. He wondered if he was lucky enough it still had half of the pages left blank so he could also put his thoughts down on it, or he was actually unlucky that he couldn’t see everything that matters the most to her; what filled her mind all the time. He decided it was the former, as he picked up a pencil and flipped open another blank page, his hand started moving on its own.

“Hey, love. How are you doing? I hope you are taking a good care of yourself. You never put a lot of thoughts into your well-being and when winter comes it worries me because you are sensitive to the cold. Please dress warmly, sweetheart. Did you manage to see the first snow today? It was beautiful, just like you. It reminds me of you, love. I was thinking to myself, I feel really lonely. I started having stupid thoughts, like what if I could turn back the time? What if I could turn back my heart, would we be different now?

I’m a manly man, you know that. But it’s so strange that the tears keep falling down my face only at the thought of you… If I met you, would I be able to say hello? I bet my stupid self won’t be able to say a thing. If I met you, would the tears rise up, making me look like a fool? I bet it would, but I’m indeed a fool for you. I want to tell you it’s different now, I want to tell you I love you, I want to go back to you, even if all my life until now disappear… I don’t know if it’s the tears or the cold snow, but I keep seeing you get further away from me with every snowfall.

That Christmas, I was only filled with regrets. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you well.”

He knew it was her, he knew the girl inside another man’s embrace he saw earlier was her. He could recognize that breathtaking face anywhere. The only one that shone brighter than the stars. The only one he would take a bullet for. The only one that mattered; then, now and always.

He just didn’t have it in him to acknowledge the man who put that familiar smile he loved the most on her pretty lips was not him anymore.