#i went with 'sent to live with an aunt' because i dont think?? that?? east high is a boarding school? lmaooo

[mangolacroix]

today i met ron and this afternoon i woke up at 1:13 pm, i walked nervously and east from 49th street, last night i went to a night of poecy in port richmond for my friend james and i also met myene with eyes, few words then, i walked to dirty franks today because i was thinking of matt leo, since we hung out last night in the booth at el bar after a few hours of soft poetry reading, watercolor painted on our foreheads, with kieran and emma and matt cash only, ron is an 82 year old christian church gay, he never heard of the kamikaze shot you get with a lil 8oz miller lite in a tiny bottle, people call it the dirty franks special it costs two dollars and fifty cents and puts a spell on you i tend to remark the future in minutes as you read this in the present.

(parenthesis i used to think a lot about how you emotionally cheated and psychologically gaslighted me for at least a year with your basic type A insensitive plaid wearing shallow ass boss and how you are literally fucking him right now. how healthy is a relationship born within infidelity inside a commitment from both of your previous partners. i’ve been filling my weeks with new forms of self love and cleanliness and talk therapy. i wrote “return to sender” on your W2’s and sent them back, because i still live in the apartment that we shared and i pay your old fucking rent. any responsible adult changes their address when they move, so why did you relentlessly force me to read your name on junk mail everyday. it’s childish and abusive like everything you’ve ever known to me. i don’t even think about you anymore. it’s just a shame how ugly it ended like this after nearly 4 years but when you’re so psychologically disgusting and emotionally unintelligent it’s no surprise. end of parenthesis)

the dirty franks special, is fucking adorable and i bought one for ron he talked a lot about church and asked about my ring i wear on my right hand ring finger that i got in new mexico, i told him the story and i expressed that , you dont really turn into an adult at 18 and it happens differently for everyone, always growing in and out and out and before, who is a man anyway, delusional thinker hormone eccentric garage project table setter cold mug of warm water slow hands cheek kisser sweet talk caterpillar critic magnolia dirty boots butterfly wrinkle blower sunset table type writing lines of our very last kiss before we die.

an open reading frame is a term in molecular biology used to describe the dna sequence of the protein coding sequence. we sequentially sequence feelings termed as life as a function of f over x f(x) of time divided by self numbing. gave my glass jar of marijuana to my canadian neighbors downstairs for free. sometimes they’ll text me at 2am to turn down the kate bush radiating from my speakers, then i do. ron bought me back a dirty franks special and he talked about church some more and being an 82 year old gay man wanting to make it to a 100. there was another old dude there who apparently dropped owsley acid for the first time, so naturally i had to explain the wall of sound from the grateful dead, i loved 82 year old ron on a grandfather level, ancestry is weird my mother lorraine had a handful of gay friends that turned into my aunts who i’ve always felt more connected to than most of my relatives, i told him i minored in anthropology and majored in molecular biology but i found escape in religion courses though i don’t believe in god. i felt something in buddhism and specifically Jainism where at the end of your decided life you starve yourself to death by micro dosing rice on the street, so i went vegetaraian/vegan for five years. have you ever thought about when you’ll die? have you ever jumped into the ocean after running across the hot sand?

at el bar i talked about how much i felt from myene’s poem at the show and my friend kieran gasped and claimed that he almost went unknown to me, only person i knew going was james, so kieran knew myene? i met kieran after physics one day before he dropped out of college to pursue culinary but we remained close friends, kieran is from massachusetts, and so in myene like two serendipitous transplants, i messaged meyene at 1:38 a.m. and said “i just wanted to say that your poetry really fucking got me deep like god and i meant to say something after your performance but i had to run, thank you for creating such a deep progressive piece, warm tummy stones and visceral imaging killed me, like weird thunder” she said it meant a lot to her to hear this, so today i told ron that i was going to write him a poem