#i went to my aunt and uncle's house and their tv has the most beautiful speaker system

[sissylittlefeather]

If I Can Dream: Chapter 7

A/N: A Christmas surprise! Two chapters in one day! Merry Christmas, friends! Masterlist.

Summary: It's 1975 and Jo Bellamy has been in love with Elvis for 20 years. She doesn't even care that they haven't met yet. All she needs is a chance and she's determined to get one.

But Elvis doesn't feel much like Elvis anymore. What happened to the man he used to be? He's pretty sure he's long gone.

Can a chance encounter with Jo change the ill-fated trajectory of his life?

Warnings: none, this is pretty damn fluffy.

Word count: ~3.2k

“That's a fuck yes, babe.” He giggles and tickles her sides excitedly and they laugh together on the big-enough couch, naked and unafraid of the future… for now.

******

That night passes with Elvis and Jo talking for most of it until they finally fall asleep in bed all wrapped around each other just before sunrise. He's convinced her to stay home from work, so they make love when they wake up and then lay in bed until almost 3pm. Finally, she drags him out of bed and they spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. She has the idea for them to make Christmas candy and a gingerbread house. What they really make is a mess, but they have a blast licking icing and chocolate off of each other. They settle into the TV room with It’s a Wonderful Life on the projector and the candy they made that Elvis hasn't eaten yet. All in all, it's a beautiful day together and when they settle in bed at the end of it, Elvis is ready to spend every day like that. He mentions something to that effect to Jo and she makes a nervous sound.

“What's that sound for, Tink?” She looks at him with an awkwardly pained smile.

“I have to go home tomorrow.”

“Home?” He's confused, thinking she's already at home.

“To see my parents, I mean. For Christmas Eve.”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” She rolls her eyes and giggles.

“Yes. It is. And my parents always have this big holiday party for the family.”

“Oh.” He gets a little sad thinking that he'll have to spend the next day without her.

“You could come with me.” She says cautiously. Elvis makes a thinking face.

“How many people?”

“Just my mom and stepdad and my step-siblings. You've already met my brother-in-law and niece. I also have a stepbrother who is married with 3 kids. My aunt and uncle will probably be there too. They don't have any kids, so they usually come to our holiday things. But that's all. Not a huge crowd.” She smiles and looks at him hopefully. He grumbles, knowing that he's going to have a hard time telling her no.

“Okay. I already went to a wedding and survived. I guess I can go to a Christmas party.” She squeals and snuggles into his chest.

“I love you so much.” He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.

“I love you too, Tink.”

******

Elvis stands in his closet in his robe, staring at the rows and rows of clothing. They're late and he knows it, but he has no idea what on earth he should wear to a family Christmas party. All of his clothing is either formal paparazzi-worthy outfits, jumpsuits, clothes that don't fit him, or tracksuits. None of those seem appropriate for where he's supposed to be going right now. He hears Jo's voice as she calls out to him.

“Elvis! Come on, babe, we're late!” She's taken to calling him ‘babe’ as often as possible and he really likes it. But today it just seems to add to his anxiety. He feels like he's going to let her down or embarrass her no matter what he chooses. She finally finds him in the closet near tears. “Babe, what's wrong?”

“Nothin’, honey.”

“Then why aren't you dressed yet? We gotta go.” She clicks her tongue to indicate they need to hurry. He just closes his eyes and hangs his head. “What is it? Talk to me.”

“I don't have anything to wear.”

“You literally have more clothes than anyone I've ever-”

“I don't have anything right to wear.” He slides his glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose. She wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes him.

“Anything you wear will be perfect.” He looks down at her in her red dress with her makeup perfect. She looks so young and pretty, like she doesn't belong with him at all.

“Tink, I should probably just stay here.” She pulls away from him and looks up at him with a frown on her face. “Now don't go makin’ that face.”

“You told me you'd come with me.”

“Honey, I've just been thinkin’ and I don't-”

“Do you love me?” She puts her hands on her hips.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you trust me?” He sighs deeply.

“Yes.” She turns to the rows of clothing and picks out a black silk shirt with puffed sleeves, a red scarf, and some black pants and hands them to him.

“There. You can pick your belt and jewelry.” It's an outfit he never would've put together himself, but once he gets a gold belt and necklace on with his favorite black and red jacket, he's satisfied. He's especially pleased when he stands next to Jo in her red minidress with black tights and boots. They look like they belong together now and he smiles. There's just one thing missing. He walks over to a drawer and pulls out a box with a red bow on it.

“I was saving this for tomorrow, but I think you need it tonight.” She takes the box and looks up at him. She's no spring chicken, so she recognizes a jewelry box when she sees it. He watches as she opens the box to reveal a gold necklace with the letters ‘TLC’ around a lightning bolt, the whole thing encrusted in diamonds. “What do ya think?”

Jo is speechless as she looks at the necklace. She's never had anyone buy her such a lavish gift. Her voice comes out as a whisper.

“It's too much.” He tips her chin with his knuckle to make her look up at him.

“Nothing is too much for you. I can never repay you for what you've given me. So please, take the necklace and anything else I give you.” She nods slowly and he takes the necklace out of the box and puts it on her. He pulls back and whistles. “It suits you.”

“It's beautiful. Thank you.” She touches it with her fingertips gently.

“It goes with mine.” He pulls the gold ‘TCB’ necklace out for her to see. She’s seen it before, but never really given it much thought. “It tells people that you go with me.”

She wraps herself around him again and pulls him into a deep kiss. He holds her close and hums as he presses his lips to hers. When they finally break the kiss, he sighs.

“Alright, let's go. Meetin’ my girlfriend’s family. I'm not nervous at all.” She looks at him funny.

“Girlfriend?”

“Well, yeah. What did you think you were?” She shakes her head and shrugs.

“I didn't want to assume.” He grabs her and tickles her sides and she giggles, trying to get away.

“You're mine, Tink. If you've forgotten, I'm happy to throw you on this bed and remind you.”

“Later. Right now I have to take my boyfriend to meet my family.” She takes off running down the stairs and he follows her as quickly as he can, all the way to her car, where he pins her against it and kisses her, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he presses his hips against hers.

“You sure you don't want me to have Jerry drive us?” He whispers in her ear, his breath hot against her skin. She whimpers, but tries to resist.

“No, babe, your cars are too obvious. People will follow us. We need to be in my clunker.” He looks at her car. It really is a sad excuse for a vehicle.

“Well, okay then.” They slide into the front seat and he ducks so that the people at the gates don't see him.

******

When they pull into the neighborhood where Jo's parents live, Elvis looks at her in shock. It's one of the fanciest neighborhoods in Memphis with big, old houses that are both historic and beautiful. His jaw drops when she pulls up in front of a massive colonial mansion and stops the car.

“This is where you grew up?!” She laughs.

“God, no! This is my stepdad’s house. His family owns a lot of real estate in Memphis and he's some bigwig at a bank. They got married when I was 17.”

“Oh…”

“No, I grew up in an apartment with my deadbeat dad and my mother working two jobs to make ends meet. She's living the American dream now.” He nods and then leans in and kisses her cheek.

“So are you.” She looks at him and giggles.

“No, babe, I'm living a goddamn fairy tale.” He chuckles. “Now, come on. We're already almost an hour late.”

At the front door, Jo's not sure who is more nervous, her or Elvis. She holds onto the bottle of wine they've brought with a vice grip. Finally, her stepdad answers the door.

“Jo! You made it. And you brought… company…”

“Hi George. This is Elvis.” To his credit, her stepdad adjusts quickly and shakes Elvis’s hand without any further ado. As they make their way through the foyer, George grabs Jo.

“Your mother is going to have heart failure.” She looks at him with her eyes wide.

“Oh God. Let's hope not.” She runs to be in front of Elvis when he walks into the dining room where everyone is seated for dinner.

“Jo’s here!” Her mother jumps up from the table and runs to her, grabbing her in a hug. “And who have you- oh my God.”

“Hello, ma'am, I'm-”

“Elvis Presley.” Jo’s mom holds her hand over her mouth as Elvis stands there awkwardly. Everyone at the table is silently staring and Jo starts to panic. Maybe this was not a good idea.

“Elvis!” Amy launches herself out of her chair and onto Elvis like she's known him her whole life. He catches her in a hug.

“Hey, kiddo.” That seems to jar Rob back to reality as well, so he stands and shakes Elvis's hand.

“Nice to see you again. This is my wife Christine.” The introductions finally begin and everyone seems to relax significantly except Jo's mother. She's still starstruck, so Jo goes over to her.

“Mother. Please calm down. He's just a person.”

“A person you've idolized for two decades! How did you… when did… he…?” She stumbles over her whispered words.

“We met at one of his shows. We've been together since then. Now, please calm down.” Jo doesn't mention that the show was less than two weeks ago. Elvis walks back over to them, hoping he can put her mom at ease. He puts his arm around Jo's waist and holds his hand out for her to shake. She looks up at him and puts her hand in his and he promptly lifts it to his lips and kisses it.

“Elvis, this is my mother, Rose.” Jo looks up at him and he smiles.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Rose. Thank you for raising such an amazing daughter.” Jo’s mother giggles.

“Oh! Aren't you sweet? Thank you. It's lovely to meet you.” Once the initial pleasantries are finished, Rose and the rest of the room settle back into dinner as Elvis and Jo take their seats. The meal passes with good food and polite conversation that gets more and more comfortable as each minute passes. By the end of it, everyone is talking and laughing with Elvis like they've known him for years. Jo is impressed with his ability to blend in, and honestly he is too. But he reminds himself that he's just a person like they are. There's no reason he should act any different. He glances over at Jo every once in a while and smiles, his body filled with a kind of golden warmth when he looks at her.

“She's really something, isn't she?” Jo’s aunt Carol asks, catching Elvis as he stares at her.

“She really is.” He looks at Carol and smiles.

“She's been through a lot. It's nice to see her happy. My sister did her best to raise her, but they didn't have it easy. She's done well for herself.” Elvis nods, not sure where this conversation is going. “I'd hate to see her go through more. She deserves something real.”

Ah, there it is.

“Ma'am, I assure you, I have no intentions of hurting her.” Elvis looks at Carol seriously.

“We never intend to hurt people, do we?” Jo had mentioned that her aunt was tough and protective of her to a fault. This must be what she meant.

“No, I suppose not. But I'll say this: I've never loved anyone the way I love her. If I ever hurt her, it'll hurt me more.” Carol gives him a small smile and pats his hand.

“Good answer.” She moves the conversation to a different topic and he catches Jo's eye. Her eyebrows raise when she sees who he is talking to, but he gives her a warm smile and she's reassured. For a couple that's only been together for a matter of days, they communicate without talking pretty well.

The evening passes fairly quickly with the children opening presents and the adults drinking hot apple cider and eggnog. At one point, Jo's sister-in-law looks around the room for someone to take her six-month-old while she deals with something else for the kids. Without hesitation, Elvis takes him and holds him in his lap, playing with him and talking to him quietly.

“He's good with kids.” Jo’s stepsister Christine comments.

“Yes, well, he's a dad.”

“Mhmm. He only has the one daughter?” Jo answers without taking her eyes off of Elvis.

“Yes, Lisa Marie.”

“Have you met her?” She turns to look at Christine.

“No. I suppose I will tomorrow, though.”

“Sounds like it's pretty serious, then.” Amy runs up to her mom and Christine wipes the chocolate off of her face before she runs away again.

“Yeah… you could say that. He asked me to move in with him.”

“Oh, my. Is that what you want? A life with a rock star?” Jo purses her lips.

“I want a life with him.”

“You don't want a family?”

“Why couldn't we have a family?” Christine shrugs.

“He already had one and it didn't work. I'd think he's done with that part of his life. And I've read that he-”

“I'm going to stop you right there. Whatever you've read is probably not true. And as far as a family goes, he and I are all the family I need.” Jo means it when she says it, but the second she does, she starts to wonder if it's really true. Christine nods.

“As long as you're happy.”

“I am.” Jo takes a big swig of cider.

“Then I'm happy for you.” Just then, Elvis makes some face at Jo as one of the little girls puts a Christmas bow on his head and she almost giggles openly. Christine catches the interaction and puts her hand on Jo's shoulder. “He seems like he really loves you.”

“He does. And I love him.”

“Then that's all you need to know.” She pats Jo's shoulder and then Amy is back and she has to go get her something in the kitchen. Jo turns back to Elvis where he bounces her nephew on his knee and talks very seriously to her other two nieces, his hair now full of bows. Would he be willing to have more children? She's always thought of herself with kids someday, but is Christine right about that part of his life being over?

******

When the evening concludes, Elvis and Jo say their goodbyes and head back to her car to drive home. He's in the driver’s seat this time and she's leaned against his shoulder happily.

“Hey, honey, can we take a quick detour?” She sits up a bit and nods.

“Sure, babe.” He turns down a road that will lead them out to the country, but not really towards Graceland. About twenty minutes later, he pulls the car off of the road and parks in a small clearing.

“You got a blanket in the trunk?” She nods, glad that she does. He hops out and fetches the blanket. “Come on, Tink.”

She grumbles and slides out of the car. He wraps the blanket around his body and pulls her to him so that the blanket covers her too.

“Now look.” She looks out where he points and gasps. They're on a bit of a hill, so she can see the whole field below them filled with fresh, virgin snow. Above that, the moon is almost full as it glitters on the blanket of white crystals. The image is breathtaking and she almost cries with how pretty it is.

“It's beautiful.”

“This is one of my favorite spots. I love how many stars there are out here. And especially when there's moonlight on the snow.” She's quiet for a bit as she takes in the scenery. Then she whispers.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” He squeezes her and presses a kiss to her temple.

“I want to share everything with you.” Jo sighs. There's been a question burning inside her since she talked to Christine at the party.

“Can I ask you something?” Her heart flutters in her chest. It's not even what she thought she wanted, but being with him is different.

“Sure, Tink.” She hesitates for a moment, scared that this might be another thing that comes between them. He has the same fear, even though he doesn't know what she's about to say. Taking a deep breath, she continues.

“Would you want to have more kids?” He leans down and turns so that he can look her in the eye. She waits anxiously as he searches her face. At first, he's reluctant to make promises, but then the image of them in front of the fireplace with their little family passes through his mind and he knows his answer.

“Yes, honey. I'd love for us to have a little Elvis Junior or baby Jo runnin’ around.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Tink. I love kids and I love bein’ a daddy and I think you'd make a great mama. If it's what you want, we'll have a dozen kids.” She giggles.

“I think one would be plenty.”

“Whatever you want, honey.” He wraps the blanket tighter around them and she lays her head back on his chest. Fat snowflakes start to drift down from the sky as they stand there together.

Jo is as happy as she's ever been living her fairy tale. But she can't help the niggling thought that this might all be over as soon as he leaves for tour or Vegas. He's saying all the right things, but does he mean them long term? She's never been one to worry about the future, but the thought of losing him makes her stomach turn over. Still, right now he has his arms around her and she's perfectly content to stay there forever, looking out over the untouched snow with the moonlight sparkling like diamonds.

******

Almost the end!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69 @pxpresley @kxnnxy

[dust-rats]

the lack of listening to music through a good sound system is killing me

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

7.24.22 Wednesday

6:45 am

Still,have windblow...

Uncle DD and Aunt Karen went out last night going to work? Plus, biological mother went out with them as well...

Me? Well,like what I said I'm not happy and not satisfied being flatten this way... My heart is not happy, it is a mixed emotions of everything. Worst! I still feel fat,old and ugly just for nothing.... This is still not my ideal life.. But then again I do appreciate doing "home improvement" coz I feel embarass on my old friends and some people who got good house and lives... I'm a college graduate but then I can't get success even in call center. I feel envious even on my other half-sisters but not on Maco and RV.

But it sadden me as well that they can't help me even on money....Gets? Coz of their "tight budgeting" as well.

I really pity these "adoptive parent's" most specially this Aunt Teresa who has a white spots not only on her left neck but as well on some parts of her right lower shoulder (clavicle/ collar bone) that makes me worry seriously....

I feel envious on women having perfectly fit body and they are able to make friends and get success in life. But me? Always flatten and my small world is not that upper....

I was always ohkay on being a "flat top" where I can go anywhere and buy everything that I want. That small world is what I'm dreaming of the "flat top" but shining only on its righful crowd or circle of genuine friends. But I dream of something a silverish " flat top".

I dream to be an artist on screen where my chances on getting my better half who really do speak English or a particular prince or prince-like will be able to see me... But I hope being a streamer is fine,where I can be famous to have Garret-Garret or Ash... I still love my cousin-white but that spot is somehow a bitterish ending. He is the one who can save me from this stagnant situation "for so long" ( sa haba ng panahon or ang tagal2x na hanggang ngayon ).

Home Improvement,matters...

8:08 am

"Home Enhancement" Must be appreciated for now...

8:17 am

Good thing Uncle Jun is here to be a chef... Uncle Jun cooked a breakfast for today. Wow! We are having breakfast, "after a long time" ( pagkatapos ng mahabang panahon ) hahah... That is the proper lifestyle,angels...

My Uncle and Aunt ( adoptive parent's ) were slighly almost slipped on the entrance floor of going to the bathroom...

We are not yet back,angels...

8:54 am

Uncle DD is somehow strange for not leaving their house key...We need to use the bathroom. Uncle Jun is suggesting something that we can use their bathroom. Our bathroom here is clogged weirdly on and off....

Strange behaviour of Uncle DD...

9:06 am

Additionally, the dog food of Neko is inside their house...

Thanks Maco for the latte... hahah

9:49 am

Still,have windblow...

I feel envious even on some people on TV, for being the unfair leader, some people on TV. It is just the same whether it is on or off the screen there are some unfair group of people....

11:27 am

Flash back of my baby John...

His toys... I spent my money on this baby-John...His very first dinosaur... He had toys every now and then, whenever one got damaged, I will buy him a new one... His growing up years with me...

12:50 noon

Still,have windblow...

I just figured out the Uncle DD is the main driver of Aunt Teresa somehow...

Uncle DD portrayed his new house here so good... It is locked, he knew that we need to use the bathroom...

5:32 pm

Still,have windblow...

Not happy being flatten and no job...I need to get a career... I wonder where are my old guilty friends? Or Mitch? Did she give me this "simple battery"?

I need a job angels... I feel bullshit and even on beauty category I can't go in...

I now feel insecure even on my old guilty classmates or friends, who are able to fix themselves...

I'm so confuse, I need to get a job... We have no "fundings"....

5:40 pm

Uncle Jun is the main chef these days... So, he is the closer competetitor of Aunt Karen.

7:23 pm

Uncle DD is starting to do his portrayal...

I feel envious on their car,I feel envious angels...

I have personal insecurities in my family and on other people's family....

[rmkenvs3000w23]

Unit 3: The Role of Privilege in Environmental Interpretation

In reflecting on the nature of privilege, both after studying this unit and more generally over the past few years, I have noted a few very important things. Firstly, I would argue that almost everyone has a certain amount of privilege, though some vastly more than others. Secondly, some privileges carry much more weight than others. Finally, having certain privileges does not mean that an individual has not faced adversity. 

When thinking about my own privilege, and when discussing the issue with certain family members around the holidays, I often describe it in terms of the “game of life”. Because I am a cisgender, heterosexual man, I get to play life on an easier setting than a little more than half of the planet, right off the bat. Add to that my European ancestry, and the fact that I was born in a country where my parents had to pay more for TV service in the hospital room and parking than for my delivery, which gives me another few steps forward in the $100 race analogy. Those parents of mine were both born in Canada, as were all of their parents. They taught me to speak, read, and write in English, while from Grade 1 on, I went to a public French Immersion elementary school. This gives me the ability to communicate with almost 2 billion people, including most people on the continent upon which I live. These are some of the most basic traits about me, but already there are so many hurdles which I just get to side step as I walk through life. 

If I were to condense my own concept of privilege into a working definition, it would be anything which makes life easier, or just less difficult, for an individual, which is the result of factors out of that individual’s control. Often, privilege isn’t a binary but is rather a matter of degrees. This has a lot to do with the concept of intersectionality, and is extremely important when considering privilege.

In the realm of environmental science and interpretation, I will use my own experience with having a cottage, or not having one, as an example. A quintessential element of life in Canada for many families is going to the Cottage for the weekend. Camp, the cabin, le chalet, whatever you call it, it’s a fixture of Canadian culture. Unfortunately, my family was not fortunate enough to have a second property to use on weekends for four or five months of the year. On the other hand, I am lucky enough to have my Uncle Tom, the same uncle guy who smiling while knee deep in water in my previous post. All his life, he has had an appreciation for nature and the outdoors, and as such, he structured his life so that he could eventually work a beautiful cottage on Lake Nippissing into the plan. From a fairly young age, I’ve been able to spend a lot of time up there, seen eagles fly, moose cross the street, caught fish, and just take in the beauty of the place I get to live. It is my happy place, and it’s at about this time every year that I start to miss it all over again. While not quite a fully furnished house, the cottage has everything you could need to enjoy the natural world without abandoning the comforts of home. 

There are several elements of privilege at play here. First, my uncle was able to buy a cottage. This fact alone invokes issues ranging from the settlement of what is now Canada to my aunt and uncle’s ability to pay for the property. In addition to that, the reason the cottage is on Lake Nippissing specifically is because Tom first visited the lake over forty years ago with some friends from hockey on a fishing trip. That means that Tom had the privilege of having someone in his life who taught him how to skate, how to play hockey, fostered what has become a lifelong love of the game, and then he was able to find a whole hockey team’s worth of people his age who all had similar experience, and many of whom, 40 years later, are able to keep going on this trip every year. All of these factors then become distilled and combined with all the features of my privilege, from the things mentioned prior, to the fact that I have a loving extended family who are willing to foster my interests in the ways they can, to the fact that I have been able to come by the equipment necessary for something like fishing. 

When applying this to my role as an environmental interpreter, it is really important that I check my invisible backpack, and all the assumptions that come with it, at the door before I engage with my audience. I have worked in retail long enough to know that you can’t get every customer, not everyone will be receptive to every aspect of an interpretive walk or experience in nature, and some won’t be receptive to any of it, as presented in the example in Unit 3. Even as we take this course throughout the rest of the semester, we have to remember that the privilege that comes with being here, in University, in this specific course, is that we all likely enjoy aren’t in that last category, and as such we have to be keenly aware of how to approach the situation if a case such as that arises. I think being able to think on your feet, and sometimes be okay with abandoning the plan altogether when necessary, is just as important to the role of environmental interpreter as following exact steps and procedures or trying to present to the audience you want, not the audience you have.

I have been really enjoying reading everyone’s posts, and am excited to hear your thoughts!

Left: Some of the gang on what became known as Lunch Rock, so named because it is where they decided to start meeting for lunch.

Right: Some of the same guys, near the same spot, a few decades later. Apparently, Dinco (right, left in prev) hasn't felt the need for new jeans or a new pair of shoes for all this time.

Edits: Fix formatting issues

[fandom-puff]

An Unmarried Lady

Pairing: sandor clegane x Lannister! reader

Requested by: anon

Prompts: //

Summary: A Lannister woman with no husband was odd... Cersei and Tywin are determined to marry you off...

AN: ah! I haven’t written for Sandor clegane I’m so long!! This is my first like,,, imagine with him so I hope you enjoy it 💕 also, the reader is younger than Tyrion here ( I know he’s the youngest in the books and TV series but... just go with it okay :p)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, Joffrey Baratheon

Wine flowed freely when your nephew was in a good mood. A rebellion in the city had been quashed and Joffrey was adamant that a party be thrown to honour his victory. You rolled your eyes. Stupid boy. Still, it gave you an excuse to drink and dance without worrying so much about your reputation as the King’s Aunt. You might even be able to sneak away with Sandor...

Unfirtunately, your father and sister spent a lot of their time during these events conspiring about which knight or noble to shove in your direction. You sighed, taking a deep drink from your wine as Tywin walked over to you, a tall, dark haired man in his wake. Your eyes flickered briefly to Sandor before you plastered a sweet smile on your face as your father presented you to one another. “My youngest daughter, YN Lannister,” he said, eyes flicking between you both. You arched your eyebrows at your father as the man grasped your hand and pressed a wet kiss to your knuckles. You were clearly unimpressed.

“Are you not going to introduce yourself, Ser?” You smirked, knowing full well he was a Lord, not a Ser.

“I’m not a Ser!” He said, just as you predicted. Tywin sighed. “I’m Lord-”

“A lord?” You said in a mock-surprise tone. “You certainly don’t act like one, slobbering over my wrist. I’ve had better trained dogs,” you said slyly.

Tywin looked up to the ceiling, composing himself. “Lord Pyne. Go,” he said sharply as you turned to him, your hands on your hips.

“Your standards are slipping, father,” you said coldly, making to walk away but he grabbed your arm.

“It’s very hard to uphold such high standards when you refuse every suitor within two minutes of meeting him,” he said, glaring down at you. You stared back, challenging him. His eyes softened slightly- the perks of being the baby sister in the family.

“When you can find me a good, honest man who isn’t an arrogant bastard, father, then I’ll consider letting him court me,” you said, eyes not leaving his.

He sighed, exhasperated. As far as he knew, you had been single for far too long. “YN. You must understand, an unmarried Lannister woman... you haven’t been courted since your first bleeding,” you flushed slightly. “People talk, YN,”

“People talk about Cersei and Jaime fucking, father,” you hissed, tugging your arm out of his grasp. “People talk about Tyrion frequenting whore houses and burning his way through the people’s taxes in fortified wine. I am the only child of yours who hasn’t got a poor reputation for incest and whoring. Your grandson is King of the seven kingdoms, each of your sons hold a position on the small council. Your oldest daughter was married off for the family’s gain. There are no more positions, no more seats for me to take. Focus on controlling that tyrant up there,” you nodded to the throne, “before you even THINK about marrying me off to some dimwitted lord who can’t tell his arse from his elbow,” you turned on your heel and stormed away from your father. He shook his head and receded back to Cersei as you went to find your favourite brother.

You breezed past Sandor, brushing against him, even though you didn’t really need to. You could just imagine his slight smirk as your skirts fluttered about his ankles and your hair flowed behind you.

Finding Tyrion, you huffed and sat next to him, stealing his goblet and taking a sip.

“Hey now, dear sister, get your own,” he said teasingly, though he grabbed another goblet from a serving girl. “Who has Father tried to pawn you off to now?” He smirked, knowing that was the only thing that could get you so riled up.

“Lord Pyne,” you said, rolling your eyes. Tyrion roared with laughter.

“Him? Ha! I bet he still has his mother’s milk in his belly!” He grinned, causing you to crack a small smile. “Ahhh, there she is, that beautiful smile. You break hearts, you know, YN, keeping that smile to yourself,”

You shook your head slightly. “I want to marry someone I love, Tyrion,” you sighed. “I don’t see the point in marrying me off to some Lord,”

Tyrion smirked. “Do you not want a lord, YN?” He nudged you. “Would you rather we get you a prince? A warlord? A great Dothraki warlord to carry you off on his horse and fuck you amongst the heathens?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t you dare suggest that to father,”

“Suggest what to father?” You turned to see your sister standing over you.

“Tyrion’s had the bright idea to whore me out to the Dothraki, seeing as you and father cannot find a suitor who doesn’t wear his arse as a cap,” you said, smirking. Cersei scrunched her nose up.

“He isn’t that desperate,” she said, sitting down with you, fussing over your gown.

“I beg to differ,” you said, batting her hands away. “Honestly, Cersei, I’ve just turned twenty two. Must you fuss over my dress like that?”

“Yes! We must be presentable. And you really ought to start wearing your hair up like mine,”

You snorted. “Cers, I have much better things to do than preening myself for hours on end,” you tucked your hair behind your ear. You did not favour the high hairstyles that your sister so often sported. You preferred to wear it down with simple plaits and discrete jewels for decoration.

“You need a husband, YN. You ought to have been wedded and bedded as soon as you bled,”

“I bled when I was twelve, Cersei,” you growled, sitting a little straighter, eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown.

“Our little sister wants to marry for love, Cersei,” Tyrion said quickly diffusing the situation, draining his cup. Cersei was about to argue when Joffrey spoke up.

“Aunt YN. Come,” you sighed, glaring at Cersei before pushing through the crowd to your nephew. You sunk into a slight curtsey, never going as low as you should.

“Your highness?” You said, looking him in the eye. He may be your king, but you were still his aunt.

“I’m bored. My dog here says he has never danced. I want to see him dance,” you flushed as the room went silent. Sandor stood staring straight ahead, and you swallowed.

“My lord?” You said, standing tall and staring him down.

“No man would allow his wife to dance with such a creature. But you have no man, do you, Aunt YN?” His lips curled into a sadistic smirk as you gritted your teeth.

“No, your highness,” you said stiffly.

“Hound. Dance with my Aunt YN. Perhaps you will scare here into wedding and bedding a lord,”

The room was silent. You flashed your eyes to your father briefly, but he was glaring at the King. Cersei has her lips pursed and Tyrion looked thunderous.

“Yes, my Lord,” you said sweetly, nodding slightly at Sandor.

“Play something!” The king demanded, clapping his hands and lounging in his throne. Sandor took your hand and you guided him into the proper dancing position. “Closer, Hound!” Joffrey snapped. “Show my court what a good little wife she would make,”

“Your majesty,” Tyrion said lowly, warningly.

“Quiet, uncle! Play!”

You took a deep breath as the music started, dancing the steps perfectly, the way you had learned since you were a little girl, while Sandor just stepped along, holding you. If the entire court wasn’t watching and Joffrey wasn’t demanding a circus performance, it would have been quite nice. Sandor’s jaw was tight as you danced, and he squeezed your hand and hip.

Joffrey clapped, laughing at his clever little performance that he had coordinated. The court began to laugh along nervously, and you shut your eyes, looking at your feet, unable to show Sandor how humiliated you felt. “Tell my court, Hound! Tell my court how she feels! Would she make a good wife? A good slut for a lord?”

“Enough!” You suddenly snapped, tugging away from sandor’s strong grip. The room suddenly descended into silence again as you turned to the court. “The King is tired!” You announced. “Ser Trant, Ser Moore, escort the king to his quarters, and ensure he eats his supper,” the king spluttered as the two kingsguards looked frantically to Cersei and Tywin. They nodded, and soon the king was escorted to his room like a spoilt child. “Play on,” you said, clapping your hands and smiling sweetly, gesturing for people to commence dancing. Tywin offered his hand to a highborn lady and soon others followed his lead. You stared up at Sandor with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, but he simply grabbed your hand and took you away from the dancing, sitting with you in an alcove, away from prying eyes.

Well, most of them.

“Father,” Tyrion said, smirking at his father and sister. “The next suitor shouldn’t be a Lord, or even a Ser,” he said, nodding over to the alcove, where you pressed a chaste kiss to the scarred side of sandor’s face. “I think we’ve solved the mystery as to why sweet YN has been impossible to court,”

Tag list : @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor

[pedropascalunofficial]

My Cousin, Pedro Pascal

Ximena Riquelme

16 NOV 2017 12:53 PM

Before being the protagonist of Narcos or filming with Colin Firth, José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal (42) was a child whom I knew very well because we are from the same family. A man who today looks with nostalgia and some perplexity at his place of origin and his history and who still does not answer what would have happened if he had stayed here.

The first memory I have of Pedro is in the arms of my mother during his baptism, in the garden of my house. She was a weeping bus and had huge black eyes. I was 9 years old. It was cloudy. Years later I learned that the priest was Gerardo Whelan, the legendary rector of Saint George's College. Pedro's parents were not at his baptism: my uncle, José Balmaceda, my mother's only male brother, and his wife Verónica Pascal were asylees at the Venezuelan embassy, which was on Bustos street, near my house. Pepe, as we used to say to my uncle, who years later would become a famous gynecologist, an expert in fertilization, was then a 27-year-old young doctor, in those days wanted by Dina. Some time before they had hidden Andrés Pascal Allende, Mirista and his wife's uncle. One day they came to take him to the José Joaquín Aguirre Hospital and he managed to escape by jumping through the roofs. It was October 1975.

Like most of the Chilean families, there were supporters of both sides in mine: for and against Pinochet. Trying to help Pedro's parents, my dad called a relative who held a high position in the Army. "Tell the children to get asylum, because I cannot guarantee their lives or that nothing happens to Veronica," was his reply. She was 22 years old. Then began the journey of my uncles and with them that of my cousin José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal. Pepe and Verónica had to start living secretly in different houses. Pedro, who was only 6 months old at the time, and his 3-year-old sister Javiera were left in charge of my mother's older sister, "Aunt Juani."

The second memory I have of Pedro is when I accompanied my parents, who carried him and his sister in their arms, to stand on the sidewalk in front of the Venezuelan embassy so that their parents could see them through the window.

My uncles left the Venezuelan embassy for the airport in January 1976, Pedro was 9 months old and obviously does not remember anything. I just remember that they didn't let me go. Pedro could not record the image, which I could not see, of his grandfather Luis Pascal Vigil - a very prominent lawyer - singing the National Anthem on the balcony of Pudahuel. A memory that is not mine but that I adopted, for cute.

As the people of the International Red Cross advised our family on time, Pedro and his sister did not leave the embassy with their parents, but arrived directly at the airport: this allowed their passports not to be stamped with the "L" for " limited to circulate "that stamped on the exiles who left. Therefore, the years that Pedro and Javiera came could come to Chile without problems. And for that reason, the choclón of cousins, we were able to share long summers in Pucón and some winters in Santiago.

The Balmaceda Pascal first arrived in Aarhus, Denmark, in October 1976. A year later they left for San Antonio, Texas, where Pedro's father was able to continue improving himself thanks to a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. Veronica earned a PhD in Child Psychology.

________________________________________

"But Denmark is invisible to me," Pedro writes me by email. A while ago I proposed to interview him at a distance to travel a little about his history, and here we are, in front of the computer, sharing memories. "It is invisible to me, like everything that happened before. Although once, after telling him about my childhood, a doctor told me that the temporary separation with my mother was trapped in the memory of my body and that I could remember it through the senses".

My cousin, far away

The third memory I have of Pedro is a summer in Pucón. It must have been in 1978. "Pepelo", as we said, was no longer a guagua but a restless, very blond boy, who was so impacted by poverty in Chile that when he went out on the street with his gringo accent, he asked any person: "Are you poor?" He took food out of the pantry and gave it away. With my cousins we rented a warm wooden house, colorful, with the door frames out of square. It was summers with trips to those black sand beaches that burned the feet and picnics in Caburgua with lamb on the stick. They took us to mass and Pedro sang very inspired.

"This is where the memories become more vivid, like dreams," he writes. "I remember so many details: my older cousins, children my age who were like family. The beach seemed endless. I also remember running down the hallways and stairs of Aunt Juani's house looking for Santa Claus at Christmas."

XR: What was it like leaving your parents in the United States?

PP: "I think the trauma was going back to the States, although I obviously wanted to be with my parents. But childhood in Chile, with the Balmaceda and Pascal, was a dream, a world where nothing was missing, pure adventure and love."

Now that he tells me that, I remember that image of Pedro hanging on the neck of our aunt Juani, crying in Pudahuel because she did not want to return. At that time going to the airport was a panorama: we were going en masse to leave him and his sister, who traveled in charge of the stewardesses.

In 1981 I went with my parents and my two sisters to see the Balmaceda Pascal in Texas. I remember an eternal road trip from Miami, I remember Pedro's house, in a middle-class neighborhood, comfortable, beautiful, lovingly arranged by his mother. I remember the tears of my mother and Pedro's mother when we said goodbye to return to Chile. We still didn't know when they could return. Although Pedro never fully returned.

In December 1983, Pepe and Verónica were able to enter Chile. The whole family was packed on the terrace of Pudahuel, waiting for them. I remember the Balmaceda Pascal walking from the stairs of the plane to the International Police. I remember them happy, triumphant. Pedro was 8 years old and chose to stay in my house, in love with my girl sister.

We all went to Quintero, to the house of our grandfather Pepe, a great smoker, tennis player, and fanatic fanatic who took us to the town cinema to see double Tora! Programs, Tora !, Tora! More Bridges on the River Kwai and other old movies. Surely Pedro had to see several. Since he was a boy he said he wanted to be a "director". He liked horror movies and was a big movie consumer, like his dad.

PP: "I remember going to the movies with the cousins and the grandfather to see anything with Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone. They leased me VHS movies to see alone and happy."

XR: You once recited Hamlet on the beach with Grandpa.

PP: "No, it was Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller. I was about 14 years old. I videotaped it and lost the fucking camera on the trip back to the United States."

After that summer, Pedro began to come more sporadically. He was already grown up, at school and then at university. They had moved to Newport Beach, California. His father was doing very well. But Pedro, not so much.

PP: "I think that the way the family supported me in Chile was the opposite of what I experienced in Newport Beach. I started well in California but at 13 years old, very involved in the cinema, reading plays, books, TV, TV, TV, obsessed with these things, I had the bad luck to find few like me. It was a world very attached to conservatism and its privileges where not fitting was punished. There was a group of shitty goats who were my friends the first year and became my terrors thereafter. I don't enjoy remembering that time, but there are deep connections from back then. Friends of my parents who are like parents until today."

Pedro's mom soon found a performance arts program at a high school in another district. A more inclusive school compared to Corona del Mar, the neighborhood where they lived in Newport.

PP: "My mom and my driver's license were my salvation. There I was able to unleash my appetite for movies and theater without limits."

As time went by Pedro became a fun, provocative teenager with character. He said he was "lazy", but he went to study Theater at NYU in 1993 and he loved it. I started to see it less. When he came to Chile he went out with his friends, I was already married and having children.

XR: Did you find that our way of life was very boring?

PP: "Bored, no. But overwhelming regarding life's permanent decisions. I didn't have the Catholic structure, and I felt there was no room for a young guy like me. Like suddenly, from one trip of mine to another, you had lives that included marriages and children, and pleasing the visits of the gringo cousin was no longer an option for all of you. I had to duel, because I was jealous of his inattention."

XR: Do you find us very conservative?

PP: "Yes, but it is a major contradiction for me. I come from the perspective that no one can decide how someone else should live their life. And well, in our family there are social rules that are very firm. I think that a person has the right to live his life conservatively or wildly as long as he does not negatively impact anyone or tries to embarrass others by his lifestyle. I don't touch these issues very much with our family for fear of hearing their perspective, but what I do know is that if I ever needed help I could ask any member of our family by the name of Balmaceda, and I would get it."

In 1995, Pedro's parents returned to Chile with their two youngest children, Nicolás and Lucas, who had been born in California. Javiera also came for a couple of years. Pedro stayed in the United States.

PP: "It was a very scary period. I grew up with my family in the United States and from one day to the next there was no home to return to. Suddenly the idea of the safe nest was gone. It was shocking because in previous years I took for granted the privileged life we had in California. I never thought that this could change as suddenly as happened to my parents when they became exiles. Everything felt fragile. Also, I knew that my parents' marriage was wrong and that the tension of those circumstances was hardly going to end. My mother's life felt in danger and the line between needing her, being there for her and finishing my studies and pursuing a career was a horrible conflict. I knew that my mom wanted me to continue doing mine, she never would have wanted me to sacrifice it."

XR: Did you really resent the failure of your parents' marriage?

PP: "For me it was the hardest time. I have not been able, and I do not know if someday I will be able to reconcile completely how my parents separated and the tragedy that came after that separation. The circumstances of my mother's death made it very hard for us to keep her memory of who she was. It hurts so much ... Sometimes I feel distressed and try to face it in the best possible way, because I know that my mother would not like me to do it in any other way."

Pedro lost his mother when he was 24 years old.

PP: "It's hard to say what I remember most about her. You met her, so it is easy for you to understand that she was the love of my life. I think of her every day. Since I don't pray, I can't say that I have a practice to feel her close, but I live for her even though she's gone, and that makes sense to me."

From Alexander to Pedro

XR: Do you believe that pain makes us stronger or does it seem like a horrible cliché?

PP: "I don't think it's a terrible cliche but a profound reality. In some way, losing the most important person in your life, discovering that something like this is possible and that what you fear most in life can happen is an identifiable and permanent moment. There is a before and after after his death. I think, yes, that old age would not have been for my mother, there would have been no footwear with her. Of course, no one wants to grow old, but others can handle it better. I would not have liked to see my mom struggling with it, but at the same time, I wish I had her every day still with me."

It may have been the summer of 2012. Pedro said to our aunt Juani: "I am 37 years old and I still can't get what I want. And it's the only thing I know how to do." It had been a long time since the death of his mother in the summer of 2000 that Pedro had changed his name. From Pedro Balmaceda to Pedro Pascal. He had been searching for years, years of casting where, by being called Pedro Balmaceda in the studios, they hoped to find a Latin or classic Mexican phenotype. He had only made minor appearances in some series.

XR: Although you did not regret it, you did wear Alexander at some point. Why?

PP: "That was a desperate period and directly related to having lost my mother. I was desperate to work, to fill my days with something more to suffer. To eliminate the confusion that casting directors had with this guy named Pedro with European or Caucasian traits, I changed my first name to Alexander and took my mom's last name, Pascal. That only lasted a year, until I was able to find a job and be selected for an Ibsen theatrical classic. But it was too late for people to identify me as "Alex". Also, my mom named me Pedro. So the decision was to call me Pedro Pascal, a name that fits with me more than any other."

Soon after that came Brothers and Sisters, other small roles, and later more important ones in The Good Wife, The Law and Order, The Mentalist, until Game of Thrones, Narcos in 2015 and now, filming Muralla china with Matt Damon and William Dafoe - last year we all went to see his cousins together - and then Kingsman 2 with Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, Halle Berry and Channing Tatum.

XR : Have you ever been excited acting with such powerful actors?

PP: "I have been thrilled with everyone."

With fame have come the new meetings of the cousins with Pedro Pascal. We all want to see him, take pictures of us, we ask him for greetings-chub for friends, we inflate ourselves by saying that he is our cousin. That Peña, the protagonist of Narcos and the sexiest guy in the world, is my cousin-brother. He laughs and humorously calls us "scoundrels" because now we remember him. In fact, that's what our cousin chat on Whastapp is called.

But there is also the modesty to disturb him. Know that you are busy. That while I'm sending you these questions, you're filming in Boston with Denzel Washington. And to feel that there is always a lack of time to speak to him calmly, a space to ask him questions like the ones that occur to me now:

XR: Exile changed your life. Can you imagine growing up in Chile?

PP: "I don't know, because I haven't thought much about it. I have been asked this question all my life and have never been able to come up with an answer. Perhaps my life would have been more complete and solid. What I am used to is that the past disappears as if it had been lived by someone else, in another time."

XR: Do you miss something from when you were Pedro Balmaceda?

PP: "You know? There is very little difference between Pedro Balmaceda and Pedro Pascal. As it is all part of José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, I feel the same person. But with back problems and more money."

XR: Would you like to start a family?

PP: "Being a dad? I don't know. I have no fucking idea. I love being an uncle. It may just end there. But anything is possible."

XR: Marialy Rivas said something very nice about you on Saturday: that when you play a character, you pretend that this character brought a whole previous story, much bigger than what they are telling. And it's true: you carry a bigger story than you tell it.

PP: "I don't know, cousin. I am very confused trying to organize the past and see what turns out. It helps me understand the pain or be grateful for what I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, living between waiting for fame and attention and completely embarrassed by these wishes.

In reference to what Marialy said, I think she means that I put all my confusion, joy and sorrow, ambivalence, hostility, rage, love, lust, greed, compassion, ignorance, knowledge either to indicate a map with the finger on Narcos, throwing an arrow in Game of Thrones, lashing out at Kingsman. Cool! But I think my experience in theater taught me that."

XR: Would you someday like your life to be a script?

PP: "No way." (in english)

XR: Do you still want to be a "director", as you used to say when you were a kid?

PP: "Yes! That will be my way of being a father. Father of a production."

XR: Is dreaming about an Oscar the dream of every actor, even if you don't confess it?

PP: "I confess that possibly… yes."

[sabrinamichele]

Dear you,

I’ve meant to write you, so many times…and yet it hasn’t felt right, until now. I want to write to you, before I meet you, as I feel there’s so much I want you to know. About the girl before, the girl that was, before the woman you will one day meet. Tonight finally feels like a good time to at least start. Because tonight I just learned my last living grandparent, my grandma Mae, passed away today. My heart breaks tonight, not just because she is gone, but because you will never meet her, nor any of the amazing people who were a part of that generation, who helped raise me, helped make me who I am today. My heart aches with all that loss. The love, the life, the laughter…a familiarity so comfortable that there is almost a physical ache in the knowledge that it is forever gone. I hope one day to tell you about each of them, to hopefully give you an idea of who they were, at least to me, even if I know I will never do it fully justice. I think that’s why I want to start writing you now. Full well knowing how it must sound, and how it will look, I’m doing this for you, and I’m doing this for me.

I’ve known for just a little over a week now that my grandma had just about a week left. It wasn’t even that surprising; I have known deep down that this was probably coming— resolved myself to it, told myself all of the rational things, “this happens,” “she’s older,” etc., etc. But even still, hearing it out loud, it hit me…harder than I expected it to. And I knew that I needed to see her. I knew this was important. More than work, or the mundane day-to-day things that seem to matter so much—until they don’t. So I went, and I saw her. Even though her body didn’t seem to be hers anymore, and her mind was no longer serving her as it should, it was still her, and she knew who I was, and that was all that I could ask for. To see her, to say I loved her—and to hear her say it back—it was everything. My heart still aches for my parent and aunt and uncle who have been with her non-stop since this started, and the grief I know that they must be feeling too. Grandma Mae had just turned ninety years old. A small woman, but she had a spark. So much spunk and personality there. They lived humbly, my grandpa Vance and her—but you’d never hear her ever in a negative spirit. She always seemed to have a positive thing to say; usually it was some funny story she would be hearing about this, that or the other. “About whichmajigger” was a pretty common saying, because the name of the person would escape her. Mae and Vance lived on a farm about an hour north of the small town I grew up in, in Oregon, in an even tinier town named Halsey. There were many summers when my younger brother and I would get shipped off to our grandparents for a month (or at least it felt like a month). So many memories: That little ramshackle house, the barn, the feral cats that lived under the house—there were always kittens, which I was always chasing in the hopes of catching one to just love on it, to be inevitably scratched up mercilessly by it, drop it, and the cycle would start all over again. The old white, deep clawfoot bathtub that scratched our bottoms raw from the roughness of the tub. Hundreds of VHS tapes meticulously organized and labeled, three moves to a tape, which we spent hours watching in front of their tv in their living room. The dozens of old clocks, that you would hear in their varying chiming, dings, cuckoos, and even bird calls (yes, bird calls) at the top of every hour. I can remember being very young one night, sleeping in the living room at their farmhouse, waking up and just hearing all of those clocks—their ticking so loud in the dead of night that I just sat there and listened. I remember the stories. Oh the stories they would tell us of us “hoodlum children.” Ha! I don’t actually remember this personally, I must have been too young, but I loved hearing my grandma tell it. Both my grandparents had previous marriages, so there were often times I would come to visit that my grandpa Vance’s other grandchildren would be visiting them as well. I think there must have been four of us, all boys, save for me. My grandparents would often take us to the coast in their trailer, all of us kids sleeping on one small kitchen table, converted into a bed come night. Apparently the boys were “little terrors,” the entire time—or so the story goes, according to Grandma Mae—but, even so, they treated me like, “a little lady.” It still shocks me, thinking about it now (especially knowing how incredibly cold the ocean is off the Oregon Coast), but apparently whenever they would take us to the beach, we wouldn’t be there but five minutes before we were all of us, all four boys and Sabrina, tearing our clothes off and running pell-mell for the ocean to get in. *laughs* I think about that now, and I can’t help but laugh. We must have come out of that water completely sopping wet, sandy, and shivering from the cold—probably a complete mess and utter handful—but all Grandma Mae did was laugh when she told the story. I love thinking about her laughing. I will always remember her that way—happy, and just so easy to be around. And I remember she used to sing. I

wish my memory was better, but I think I remember she used to sing to me at night before I fell asleep. I’ve always thought it was my grandma Mae that got me singing when I was a child. Something that so many people didn’t know I could do for years, because I was so terrified of getting up on a stage in front of people and singing. And even now, it seems to be a secret I have kept, yet again—one that breaks my heart. Oh how I secretly long and wish to sing again. I hope to find a way to do so again. My heart feels so big and full when I do. I hope one day to share it with you.

There are so many memories, and so many more I could share. Thank you for listening to these ones. More than anything, though…I have to admit, I hate that you’re not here. I hate it. Six years—for six years I have been navigating being single and dating, and it’s been gut wrenching. I know it’s weird—talking about it, even just acknowledging it—but I make no apologies for it. I only wish I hadn’t had to experience so much heartbreak. I wish I had already met you. I have been looking for you, this entire time—every time hoping it would be you. I do not know why I wasn’t meant to meet you yet, nor why I still haven’t met you, but I find a small measure of comfort knowing I may not have been ready to (yet). But I am now. I am so ready. With that said, I am sorry you will not ever know the girl I was, before. The strong-willed, headstrong, stubborn, full of life girl that I was. She’s still there, I promise. She still has her moments. Haha! I’m sorry you will not meet a girl with the naïveté of youth, or wanting a romantic, “fairy-tale” wedding. I’m afraid I have already been there, done that, and come out the other end. While I may have lost some of that, the girl who wants to be treated special, like she’s the most important, most beautiful woman in the room—she’s still in there. I still have a romantic heart, that still beats, even after having been broken a few times. I just don’t know how much more I can take, to be perfectly honest. I want to find you, I want it more than I can even say…but I also have to protect this heart of mine. She’s so incredibly tired—of being stomped on, of being passed by, of not being taken care of—that I don’t think I can take it another time. So, I’ve stopped looking. And especially here—Sacramento is the worst, or at least it has been for me. That’s not to say I’ve entirely given up…at least not on the idea of you. The hope of you. That somehow you exist—as hard as that is to imagine, well-meaning people continue to tell me that you do. Here’s the thing: I will not settle. I have not settled. I’m here, living my best life, waiting for you to join me in it. I hope that you will. But even if you don’t? I will just keep on living my dreams out—with every adventure, every trip…I just sometimes wish I could have you in my life to share all of them with you. I want that so bad. I hope that one day we can share all of the stories, all of the adventures in life that led to us finally meeting. I also hope that you don’t let the strong woman you meet one day intimidate you too much; at least not enough to not approach me. I hope that you do. I hope you make the first move. I hope you aren’t afraid to ask me on a date, and the next date, and the next. I hope that, no matter when you meet me, you pursue me. And I hope you don’t ever let me go.

Until that day, I know I am going to keep loving the hell out of me, wishing you were here, but continuing on—the strong, resilient, independent woman that I am. I have so much more that I could say, but I think that’s probably enough for tonight.

So with that I will say goodnight.

Love, me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #396

“every time i leave, you say you won’t be there, & you’re always there”

So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say "jif," but now I pronounce it as "gif." If you use libraries, what is the largest overdue fine you’ve ever had? *shrug* Do you ever borrow things other than books from the library? I remember back in the day, they used to offer educational computer games, and I bought a dinosaur one as a kid that I was madly obsessed with. Are there still any movie rental places left where you live? Just Redbox things outside of some stores. Do you ever buy secondhand books (or DVDs, video games, CDs)? Yeah; Ebay is my friend. Or do you prefer them to be brand new? I mean yeah, but it's not a massive deal to me so long the thing is operational or not falling apart. Do you ever write fanfic? Of what? Nah. Do you ever READ fanfic? Of what? Also nah. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Have you ever had multicolored/rainbow hair? No, but I would LOVE to. What kind of hats, if any, do you like to wear? I don't wear hats. What is your #1 deal-breaker with friendships? If you're manipulative, byyyyyeeeee~ Who is your favorite character on Bob’s Burgers and why? (If you watch it) I've seen some episodes, but I don't actually watch it. Have you ever had a retro celebrity crush? Like a crush on an “old” celebrity who was most famous a long time ago or is long dead? Audrey Hepburn, for one, is drop-dead GORGEOUS. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? It depends on what I bought and where it's from. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Idk. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? No; kids make their own choices. I do, however, believe the parents should monitor what they do until they reach a certain degree of maturity, as well as the child's history with what they've done on the Internet. Do you use acronyms to remember things? Sometimes. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. Only if I'm really in pain will I take Ibuprofen/Advil. Don’t you think Crocs are ugly? Big time. I don't know why they're in vogue now when they used to be so widely hated. When was the last time you went roller skating? Oh, it's been years. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into the franchise. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? I prefer the ones that make you uneasy. I'm not a big fan of the nasty ones, and I want to feel on edge when I'm watching a horror film, but it's EXTREMELY rare I become legitimately scared. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Uhhhh. Maybe genetic disorders. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? I'm sure it was something my niece or nephew said, but I'm unsure of what. They've said many adorable things. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? FUCKING KING RAMSES FROM COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG. FUCK he gave me nightmares. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? I was very saddened to hear about the giraffe that died giving birth. Do you believe that acupuncture works? I'm not educated enough on this subject. Have you ever been hypnotized? No, and I don't believe it's possible to be. What’s the first food you can smell when you enter the mall? The soft pretzels, omg. That little stand is my favorite part of our local mall. They make DELICIOUS pretzels. What is the worst hurt you’ve ever experienced? Jason leaving. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? Like serious body builders, it's gross to me. I prefer a natural musculature. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? I know I have, but what isn't coming to mind. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Unless it is absolutely pouring, no. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. What is the hardest part of cleaning for you? It requires physical exertion and I am INCREDIBLY weak with non-existent stamina. Do you have any fake flowers in your room? No. Do you own any succulents? No. What is your favorite thing about spring? The only thing I like about spring are all the flowers. What is something you find hard to draw? HANDS. UGH. Was it sunny for your senior prom pictures? Sigh. It was a beautiful sunset. I REALLY wish I didn't delete all those pictures from existence. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I've seen like, a triple rainbow. What’s one thing you want to learn how to make? Your ordinary meals. I really want to be able to cook my own food from scratch. Do you have stomach issues? Maybe TMI, but it's been questioned but not fully examined that I may have IBS. My stomach is very sensitive. When was the last time you apologized and didn’t mean it? I'm not sure. Do you prefer to be the “talker” or the “listener” in a conversation? The listener. What’s a movie that you think everyone should see? Johnny Got His Gun. If you could have any hair color, what color would you want? Either pastel pink or light creamsicle orange. When was the last time you saw your “first love”? February of 2017. Who’s the smartest person you know personally? My best guy friend Girt. What makes them so smart? He's just very intelligent. Book-smart. Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? Ozzy. He and his music are so important to me. What’s your favourite aunt or uncle’s first name? Robert. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. What time do you generally wake up in the morning? It varies from like, 6:00-8:30ish. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Definitely shapeshifting. I'd love to be a druid, man. Do you ever make surveys? If so, are they long or short? No, but I combine them because I don't like surveys that are too short by my standards. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? Honestly, probably never. I love my current hairstyle, but I most certainly plan on dyeing it maaaany more times. As a child, what was your favorite game to play? I was hooked on the first three Spyro games. I would play 'em over and over. Do any of your siblings have significant others? Do you like them? My older sister is married, and I am NOT a fan of her husband. He's WAY too conservative and bigoted and racist and misogynistic, etc. etc. He's wonderful as a dad, like holy shit he loves his kids, but his beliefs are abhorrent. Dad's daughter is also married, and her husband is awesome. Mom's eldest daughter is also married, and her husband seems cool. My brother has a fiancee that I've never met. Do you believe in the concept of global warming? No fucking shit I do. It's impossible to logically deny, especially as the years go on. When was the last time you took a picture of something? Was it yourself? I took some pictures of this beautiful hydrangea bush outside the TMS office a few days ago. When drinking soda, do you prefer bottles or cans or poured in a glass? Cans, because it stays colder. Do you wear deodorant? Um, yes? If you had a pet pig, what would you name it? Probably something very unoriginal, like Wilbur. Do you like Led Zeppelin? I LOVE "Kashmir." "Stairway to Heaven" was madly important to me, but yeah... I can't listen to it anymore. Like seriously, I haven't in years. Do you like hugs? I do. Have you read the Constitution of the United States of America? Only the Bill of Rights for school. Do you have your own computer or use a family one? I have my own laptop. Do you take out the trash? Sometimes. Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? Outdated meerkat ones. What is your best friend’s name? Sara Jane. :') Have you ever seen a real-life cop chase? Maybe? What is your favorite shape? Circles. Are pigs adorable or dirty? They're precious! And pigs are actually a lot cleaner than people think, if they're not muddy. Anything moldy in your house? Not to my knowledge. Our old house had a serious mold problem, though, which is the primary reason we had to move. Especially with Mom having cancer at the time, she needed to be in the most sterile environment possible. Have you ever been in an earthquake? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Are you watching TV right now? No, but rather GameGrumps on YT. Could you ever be a mortician? True shit, it actually doesn't seem THAT bad. Can you solve a Rubik’s cube? Never seriously tried. How many pets do you have? Just two right now. Are you more close with your mom or dad? My mom. Who is the person that has impacted your life the most? Jason. Or Mom. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah. Poor things, they had terrible husbandry. I've learned a hell of a lot from a YouTuber/streamer that is like obsessed with fish about just how misinformed people are on how to take care of various fish. Your goldfish in that little bowl died for a reason, you know. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you prefer tea or coffee? Both suck. Have you ever vaped? No. How did your parents meet? They were co-workers. What was your first word? "Dada." Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... I mighta lmao. When was the last time you had Nutella? A long time ago. It reeeeaaaally needs to stay out of my house, because I will eat it straight out of the jar. Name someone with a sexy sounding voice. So I don't know where this was, but Mark was once credited in something as "if chocolate had a voice" and I was like YOU FUCKIN BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

[purplesurveys]

1095

survey by pinkchocolate

What was last film/TV show you watched, that starred an attractive actor? Erm Friends, I guess, since it’s all I watch these days. My biggest crush is on Courteney Cox, though I first gained a crush on her from watching Scream and not Friends.

When was the last time you had a bowl of soup? What flavour? If we’re talking of just a bowl of soup, probably in March last year when I had that Yabu dinner with Gab - meals there come with a bowl of miso soup. But a couple of months ago my dad made laksa for dinner; I slurped the leftover soup after I finished the noodles and other toppings.

Do you have any tinned foods in your cupboard at the moment? Yeah, we have a lot. It’s a cheaper alternative and generally, it lasts longer.

Have you ever worked with someone named Julie? What was she like? I don’t think so. Can’t remember anyone from school, either.

What foods have you been craving lately, if any? I craved shawarma yesterday but I was able to get it, woooo. Right now, my macaron craving is still going pretty strong.

What was the last savoury snack you ate? Salt and vinegar chips. LOL funny story on this - I originally planned Christmas gifts for Gabie, back when I was still hung up on her. I put in a lot of effort (and money) into the presents, which included several bags of chips. The whole gift bag has stayed in my room since December because I could never figure out the right time to have it sent. Eventually I started to get over the whole thing, and I since have not felt the need to give any of the contents to her. This means gradually eating the food I initially bought for her, lmfao. The salt and vinegar chips were the first to go yesterday.

What was the last sweet snack you ate? I had a doughnut from Dunkin’ the other night. I hate filled doughnuts, but the only other option in the box was choco butternut and I’m pretty sick of that flavor already, so filled doughnut it was.

What was the last food item that you tried for the first time? It was the same filled doughnut. It had chocolate glaze on top with vanilla filling.

^ How was it? It was fine; I liked it mainly because of the chocolate glaze. The filling wasn’t bad, but I’d still look for other doughnuts if there were any.

Does anyone in your family have green eyes? Nope.

Have you ever known anyone named Phyllis? What was she like? Nah, but this just reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe was writing a self-help book using Chandler and Monica as subjects, but renamed them as Chester and Marsha; when they found out about it Monica got back at her by writing her own book, but using Phoebe as a subject and renaming her Phyllis hahaha. I love how there’s a Friends episode for nearly every situation.

What was the name of your first ever pet? I think I had just named it Goldie, because it was a goldfish.

Where was the last place you went out for lunch? What did you order? I don’t really go out for lunch, not even during the pre-Covid days. Dinner was always my favorite meal and I preferred treating myself then. I should do this more often, now that I think of it.

Where was the last place you went for an evening meal? What did you order? It’s a Korean restaurant called Geonbae. It was unlimited Korean meat, noodles, side dishes and also unlimited sashimi so let’s just say I had a bunch of different food.

Have you Googled anything today? What? I had to Google ‘laksa’ just to check if I got the name of the dish right in the soup question earlier.

What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Uh, water? Haha I skip breakfast nearly every day. When my family has breakfast together every weekend, I don’t really look forward to any particular food anymore.

Is anyone in your family a nurse? Not in my immediate family, but yes we have several nurses in my extended family (cousins, aunts, great-aunts, and uncles).

Do you like to wear lipstick? What colours do you think suit you best? I don’t wear makeup.

Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? People in my circle know I don’t really read, so I’ve never been anyone’s first choice when it comes to with whom to share recommendations. The last one I can remember was my Aunt Claire, but that was probably at least two years ago when we briefly talked on chat.

What colour is your shirt? Any pictures, patterns or wording on it? It’s a plain olive green sleeveless top.

Name something you own that is green. The notebook I was given from my first internship.

Do you know anyone named Sally? What about Sidney? None for either name.

Have you ever heard anyone talk in their sleep? Yes.

^ If so, do you remember what they said? Yes. But it was my ex, so you’re not getting anything more than a yes because that’s all I’m willing to answer this late into the breakup.

Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? Angela.

What was the last beverage you drank from a mug? Coffee.

Are there any framed photos in your living room? Yeah. Well, technically, they’re positioned on the stairs but our stairs are in the general living room area.

Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? Yes, my dad likes peanut butter so we always have a stock.

Are there any foods that you loved as a child, but wouldn't eat now? I don’t think so. The opposite happened since my palate was very limited as a kid; there’s a number of food I wouldn’t touch before, that I love now.

Give me a fruit or vegetable that starts with the same letter as your name. Radish.

Look around the room - can you see any objects that are orange? I’m in a car with my family on the way to Tagaytay, but I’m not sure if we have anything that’s orange here.

What brand is your facial moisturiser? I don’t use anything to clean my face other than classic H2O.

What brand was the last lipstick you wore? I also don’t wear makeup.

Does anyone you know own a tabby cat? How about a cocker spaniel? I probably do, butttt I don’t really like cats so I don’t keep track of my friends who have one. I’m not sure if I know anyone with a cocker spaniel.

What was the last book you read for the first time? Some PR book I needed to read for work.

^ What did you think of it? It was mostly an unnecessary read given that I already know most of the stuff that got covered, but I still finished the whole thing in case my employer will ask me about the book.

When was the last time you ate cheesecake? Not since June/Julyish when my uncle made me my favorite cheesecake as a graduation present.

Do you have blinds or curtains in your bedroom? What colour are they? I have blinds; they’re off-white.

What was the last beverage you tried for the first time? Coconut water, I think.

^ How was it? Terrible.

Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? I posted a new profile photo on Facebook and got some compliments, but I’m not sure about the last person who commented.

To you, what makes a person beautiful? What they do or think when no one’s looking.

[mydemimonde]

‘muse’: ch. 3 | matt (bbtl)

here’s chapter 3 for y’all matt supremacists! remember that if you want to be included in the taglist, just comment or send me a message!

CHAPTER 3

The news felt like a big bucket of cold water falling on top of her head. Of course she was Matt’s girlfriend. Javed’s father would never approve of her, if she ever wanted to date Javed.

Emma smiled at her. “Hello Mia! Matt told me a lot about you” Matt looked at her proudly.

“Oh, he did?” it almost sounded like a whisper. Emma nodded and gave Matt a peck on the lips. Mia was about to throw up. At least she wasn’t the only one, because Javed’s expression was the reflection of what she felt inside and was trying to hide. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Emma”

“Nice to meet you girl!” she turned to Javed. “You must be Javed, right?” he nodded, a little bit awkward. “Nice to meet you too!” Well, she seemed nice. Mia tried to think that at least. “Matt told me you’ve never had a girlfriend” she looked confused. “Is that against your religion?”

Uhm… what the fuck?

Javed shook his head. “No…”

“I was trying to find him a girl” Matt said as he put his arm around her shoulders. “Do you remember your cousin, Lyla?”

Emma’s eyebrows raised and smiled. “Yes! Javed, you’ll love her. She’ll arrive here tomorrow, so you’ll meet her”

Javed smiled awkwardly. Poor lad, this is so embarrassing thought Mia. She wanted to punch something.

“We have to go now, see you tomorrow?” he said as Emma grabbed his arm, almost pulling him towards her.

“Sure mate” said Javed reluctantly. Mia just nodded and smiled. As soon as the lovebirds left, Javed turned to Mia. “Are you ok?”

“Of course, why you ask?”

“Don’t do that. Everything was just fine before we got here, and when you saw Matt and Emma kissing it seemed like you saw a car crash happening right in front of you” she sighed. “You’re still in love with him”

“Maybe” she said, lengthening the ‘m’. They walked to her house and sat on the sidewalk. “Definitely”

“Then tell him”

“How? He’s got a girlfriend now. And she’s beautiful…” she mumbled, looking at Matt’s house and remembering how gorgeous Emma is.

“Don’t tear yourself down Mia, you’re beautiful and interesting. Besides, you have no idea how Matt was always talking about you after you left. He wouldn’t stop”

“Yes, because he’s my friend and he missed me”

Javed looked at his feet. It broke his heart to see his friend, the one who has always been by his side, defending him from bullies at school, totally heartbroken.

Mia shook her head to clear her mind. “Anyway J, my mum wants to invite both of you for lunch. On the weekend, I think, before we start school”

“Sounds great! Mum wants you to come over too, after she’s done with work. She’s been busy these past days”

She smiled. “Tell her I miss her too, your sisters as well. Where are they, by the way?”

“They’re at my aunt’s house. They’ll be here in a few days, before starting school” he looked at his watch. “I should be going; lunch will be ready in a moment”

“Yeah, me too. Bye J, see you later” they got on their feet and returned to their houses.

 - - - - - - -

Lunch was delicious, but Mia wasn’t very hungry. She just wanted to have a warm bath and sleep all day. Is this what heartbreak felt like? She helped her mum with the dishes and quickly ran to her room, playing some music in her record-player. She let her body fall onto her bed.

Then, a knock on the door. “Mia? Can I come in?” asked Nellie, head poking.

“Sure” she sat on her bed. Nellie sat next to her. “What’s up?”

“You ate very little, are you ok?”

“I’m not really hungry, but I’m fine. Liar.

Nellie tilted her head. “I know you, something’s bugging you. You know you can count on me, right?”

Mia forcibly smiled. “Matt’s got a girlfriend” her sister’s eyes widened. “Her name’s Emma, she’s beautiful. Long legs”

“That sucks. You can’t give up, though. I bet they won’t last long” Mia chuckled, her sister always tried to make her smile, and she was thankful for that.

“Oh, may the gods hear you. I don’t know Nell, he seemed really into her. Maybe I should just focus on getting high marks so I can attend a good college” she stood up and looked through her window. “Boys ain’t shit”

“Amen” Nell put her hand on her heart, agreeing with her sister’s statement. “Still, try a little bit more”

Mia thought back about what Javed told her earlier. “You know, Javed told me Matt wouldn’t stop talking about me after I left” she turned to her sister.

“If Javed told you, it means something. But as I said before, you have to try” Mia nodded. “Oh, I was forgetting. Mum prepared some smoothies”

“Strawberry?” Nellie nodded. “Yes” she extended her arms in the air, celebrating. They went downstairs and took their glasses. “This is delicious mum” Mia was tasting heaven on her tongue.

“Thanks honey. Oh, have you told Javed and Matt about lunch?”

“Aha, Javed can’t wait for Sunday to come, and Matt… oh damn, I forgot to tell Matt. I will this afternoon” she sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Bruce Springsteen was giving an interview. “Look mum, your crush”

Susie quickly ran to the couch. “He’s dreamy. Don’t tell your dad” both sisters laughed. “Oh, if you’re going to Matt’s house this afternoon, tell him that your dad wants to talk to his. Something about a job offer”

“Ok, will do. Well, I’m gonna take a shower” Mia cleaned the empty glass and went upstairs to the bathroom. The water was warm and she relaxed at the second. She thought about what Javed told her earlier, feeling a little bit of hope.

 - - - - - - -

When nap time was over, Mia finished reading her favourite book and went downstairs. She went out and saw Mr Evans taking care of his plants. She smiled and waved hello. He returned the smile. “Have a nice day, Mr Evans”

“You too, little Mia” she turned to Matt’s house, hoping to see his father and say hello. She hasn’t seen him since she returned, and was a funny lad. It was like an uncle to her, always making her laugh with stupid jokes.

She knocked on the door. Nothing could’ve prepared her for the sight she’d have to witness in the next few seconds. Emma answered the door, hair messy, wearing just a shirt. Matt’s shirt.

“Emma!” Mia heard Matt’s voice coming from inside the house, he sounded kind of annoyed. “Why are you answering the door just wearing that?” Matt had the first three buttons of his red shirt unbuttoned; he fixed his leather pants before smiling at Mia. “Oh, hi Mia” he crossed his arms, leaning on the door frame.

Mia felt her throat dry. “Hi…” it sounded almost like a whisper. Suddenly, she felt small. “Uhm… sorry for interrupting, I, I should go…” she turned around to leave the most awful scene she’s seen. But Emma pleaded her to stay.

“No, Mia, actually you came just in time” Mia’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m organizing a party tonight, here in Matt’s house, and we wanted you to come. It will be small, we’re welcoming my cousin” she smiled.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Matt. “Javed’s also invited, I should tell him now. Why did you come here, by the way? Do you want to talk to me?”

“Uhm… actually…” she seemed to forget the words. “I came here to tell you that my dad wants to speak to yours”

“Okay, he’s not here at the moment, but I will tell him. Are you coming tonight?” she doubted for a few seconds. “Oh Mia, pleaseeee” he pouted.

“Alright, yes, I will” Matt exclaimed a ‘yay’. “Okay, I’ll go now, goodbye guys” she turned her back to them, fighting the tears.

“Wait! Could you tell Javed about the party? I’m sure his father hates me, and he doesn’t want me near his son”

“Sure, don’t worry” answered Mia, not turning back.

The door behind her closed and she went to Javed’s house. She wiped a tear away before knocking on the door.

- - - - - - - 

tag list: @blueeyedheizer​

[missnxthingg]

Is this where we do prompts? Can you do a peter Parker imagine where has powers and is recruited as an avenger and then has to share a room with peter in avengers tower, and they fall in love? Please and thank you!

AN: I really just got along with it, and made it really big. I loved writting this, and I hope you like it too. Just keep sending those requests.

Warnings: Bad words, a bit of makeout.

Words: 5k, I guess

———

You hated to admit you were kind of nervous, because it has been your dream since you found out who The Avengers were. Your old room in your foster parents house back in Staten Island was covered with pictures and news about The Avengers. When you had been invited to their tower, you were simply amazed, but kind of nervous. Now, you were following a guy carrying your bags around those endless hallways, silently and paying attention to every single detail around you. It was a beautiful place, very technological. At the end of one of them, you could hear someone talking on the phone. A voice who you knew very much. The same voice who invited you over. Tony Stark talking on his phone, probably with some investor or something. When he saw you coming in, he hung up and smiled.

“Oh, Y/N, you’re here. Welcome to The Avengers Tower.”

“Thank you Mr. Stark, I’m glad you invited me over.”

“I guess you met Happy Hogan already.” He said pointing to the man carrying your bags. “He’s gonna help you with anything you need.”

“That’s nice.”

“And I’m very sorry to say, but you’re going to be sharing a room with one of our heroes. Don’t worry, he’s harmless and he has your age. Plus, you’re way more powerful than him.”

“Can I at least know which one?”

“The Spider One, I always forget his name. Anyway, he’s nice and will help you around. Happy will show you around, and you can have all day to adjust in. Your training starts tomorrow after breakfast, and breakfast ends up at 9 AM, so don’t be late.”

“I won’t. Thank you Mr. Stark.”

So you started to follow that Happy guy around, paying attention to what he was saying while showing you around. You saw many rooms around from many heroes you used to see on TV or the internet. You got excited to be one of them, or at least becoming one of them. Your room was the last one in the hall. Happy opened the door for you and everything was dark. Happy rolled his eyes and got your bags on the floor.

“Peter, it’s almost noon and you’re still sleep.”

“Just a couple of more minutes Mr. Happy, I had a late night trying to do that stuff Mr. Stark asked me to fix and I’m really tired.”

“Just get off bed, we have guests, remember? We talked about this yesterday.”

“Has she arrived yet?” He asked with his face buried on his pillow.

“She’s right next to me.”

The boy in bed got up in a heartbeat. He was wearing nothing but his sweatpants, he had small bags under his eyes and also had a face of the person who had just woken up and didn’t want to. You pitied him, he looked very tired. The boy smiled just a little bit to see you in front of him, and you smiled back. Happy got your bags over your bed and got to the window.

“Maybe put on some clothes, Pete.” He said and the boy got the first shirt he found on the floor. A gray shirt with the saying ‘Midtown School of Science And Technology’. Happy opened the blinds, letting the light come into the room, revealing more clearly every detail in there.

“Sorry. I’m Peter Parker, nice to meet you.” He stood his hands in the air, waiting for you to shake it, which you did.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“So I’m going to leave you two alone, don’t do anything stupid. And since you missed lunch, you both can grab a sandwich in the kitchen, but don’t tell Tony cause he’s gonna be pissed if he finds out that you’re not eating your lunch properly Peter.”

“Fine. Thank you, Mr. Happy.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Be nice to her.” Happy got out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You sat on your bed. This half of the room was fully empty, the opposite of the other half of the room, that was Peter’s part. His table had so many thing over it that you couldn’t even identify what was being done there. So many objects, open books and devices you didn’t even know. His bed was completely messy, with at least two blankets over it, two pillows and his Spider Man suit over there. At the other side of the bed there were so many books pilled together, forming a huge wall of books, and one of them even had a mug over it. The walls were covered with projects, some photos and newspapers cuts. If looked like it had life in it, and your side was still not as good as it.

“Sorry about the mess, I didnt get any time to organize it yesterday. I had so many work to do and since I’m leaving for a bit next week, I need to get it done. Don’t mind the books, they used to be in a shelf located on what’s now your bed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take you space.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He smiled at you and started to clean his desk. “So, you’re the girl with a lot of powers, right? Mr. Stark told me you have plenty of them.”

“Well, I think I have plenty, but they don’t make any sense combined, I guess. I can switch my shape, it’s called shapeshifting, as Mr. Stark said. Like, who do you want me to turn into?”

“Humm… I don’t know, myself.” You closed you eyes and concentrated on how Peter looked like, and when you opened them, Peter’s face looked hilarious.

“You look just like me.”

“I know, right?” You said changing back to what you really were.

“I loved that. What else?” You teleported to behind him, and he turned looking for you, and got scaried to see you facing him from behind. “Teleportation, good.”

“I also can get invisible if I want.” You said turning invisible, but them coming back to normal after that. “I can manipulate the four elements, specially fire. But I’m not going to show it to you, because in my opinion, it’s the most dangerous one. But the coolest one is this.” Your mouth remained still, but Peter could hear your voice.

“Telepathy.” He said and smiled. “I liked that.”

“I can also control minds, and get into other people’s dream if I want to, but it requires much of my energy and it’s definitely not nice and a bit confusing.”

“I like your powers. I was just bitten by a radioactive spider and got spidey things. Not as cool as yours.”

“Dude, you can crawl the walls of New York. That’s my dream.”

“Maybe I could take you someday.” He smiled and looked at your eyes. Was he flirting with you?

“Maybe, just tell me when.”

“Whenever you want to, babe.” Okay, he was definitely flirting with you. “So you’re from New York?”

“Kind of. I’m from Staten Island, but I lived in many other places around New York. Hell’s Kitchen, Brooklyn, Queens, Midtown and even the Upper East Side.”

“Wait. Queens? That’s where I live with my aunt.”

“Don’t you live here?”

“Oh no. I come to stay here sometimes, but I have an aunt, she’s kind of like my mom. She raised me. And I still have to go to school, and we’re not exactly anywhere near anything. So, I still have to be around the city sometimes. I stay here in summers, or just like right now, when Tony wants me training or on a mission.”

“So that’s what you meant by leaving next week.”

“Yes! But it’s just for a week. I have some final tests before my vacation, so I’ll stay here for two months probabily. Mr. Stark wants me to train you.”

“Training, sharing a room. I think we’re going to be stuck with each other for a very long time.”

“I really don’t mind.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“Yeah, me neither.”

Peter was really cool, and you just bounded instatly. He helped you unpack, organizing your things in the closet inside the room and decorating a bit of your side of the room. You told him that you were an orphan since you were eight. An accident caused by your fire powers burned your parents house down and you were the only survivor, as a curse just like you always thought. So you had to live in many foster homes and were always kicked out by being too weird for the family. They were scared of having you around their kids. It never lasted long, but the one that really lasted was the last one, but you were kicked out of the house just like happened other times. The parents were really abusive and they didn’t like when you arrived late. So Tony had his eye on you since he found out about your story, and since you were living on the Upper East Side with that really rich family, and used your powers to turn into a grown man to buy drinks at a liquor store. Last week, he finally contacted you, when he found out you were in the foster system again. As he said himself, you were now legally his child, and could live with him at that tower. Peter also told his story, of how he lost his parents, his uncle Ben, how he got bitten by that spider and told a little bit about his life back in New York. You had plenty of things in common, but he had a home and a family, you didn’t.

The next week was really good. Waking up early, having breakfast with some of the heroes like Wanda, Natasha and sometimes, Bruce. Tony, Happy and Peter were always there too. And afterwards, training, all day. You liked what you were doing, training and at night, studying with a tutor Tony hired to home school you. It was your last year of High School, so it wouldn’t be needed for much time. At night, you would just hang around with Peter, maybe watch some TV or something. But the week went by too fast, and he had to leave back to New York. You missed him, everything just seemed boring and quiet without him. You had to admit, you hated to see him gone. When Peter came back, you just spent every minute of your day together. It was a weekend, so you didn’t have any school or training, so that meant free day for both of you. It was only movies, snacks and a lot of talking. He told you about his tests, about his school and how his friends were kind of different with him, except for Ned, who he told that still the same old friend. You told him about your week too, and how Natasha came to train you and it was a heavier training, but the best one yet, and she was really sweet with you.

Many months passed, you got closer and closer to Peter. You both talked about your insecurities and demons. He was helping a lot with your very common nightmares of that horrible night. He would literally wake up in the middle of the night and come to lay in your bed and not getting to sleep until he knew that you were sleeping peacefully. And if you asked him not to go back to his bed, he would just stay there all night long. During trainings, he tried to impress you and flirting a lot in your point of view, but you get flirting and being nice mixed up sometimes, but you loved to flirt back. Sometimes he would just give you small blinks and cheek kisses around, but a forehead kiss and a hug were his thing to do with you every morning. Your heart always pounded when you were around him, specially when he was shirtless, that occured during trainings and at night before bed. You liked him, and you think he likes you too, but wasn’t very sure.

One day, he asked if you wanted to come to the city with him. He was graduating in three weeks and he was coming back to his New York home for two weeks and didn’t want to be away from you for so long. So he said you could stay at his apartment, and come to his graduation day. You didn’t even knew how he was still graduating in his school if he was also being homeschooled with you, but he said Mr. Stark and his director had an arrengement for him to only go to school in important dates like tests or other stuff, due to his internship outside town, but in condition to be homeschooled with all the content he had in school. So while he was away from the city, he wouls just keep doing whatever he needed to do.

“There’s also prom night. And I don’t have a date, so if you want to come with me.” He asked, kind of shy.

“I never went to one of those.”

“Really? But you weren’t homeschooled, right?” He seemed a bit surprised.

“No, but no one ever invited me to come to one of those proms, bowls, homecomings or school dances.”

“I can’t believe it. Okay, so I’m gonna make this one special. Pretend that I didn’t ask you anything.”

“There’s no need Pete.”

“I want to. But do you wanna come to New York with me?”

“Of course, you idiot.” He smiled and hugged you.

“So, we’re leaving by friday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You had to find the perfect dress. So you asked Happy for help, but you both couldn’t find anything good enough online. You were almost going with that old black dress you had, but still, you wanted something special. But you weren’t even oficially asked yet. On Thursday, when it got dark, Peter took you to the rooftop to see the stars and eat some junk food he asked Happy to get him, getting totally out of your hero diet Tony specifically asked for you both to follow while training. But that didn’t matter for a while, and you had an awesome date, and at the end he got down on his knees, making you laugh very hard.

“Stop doing this, you’re making me nervous Y/N.”

“Sorry Pete, I can’t.” He held your hands and slightly laughed with you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, do you concede me the honor of taking you to prom?”

“Yes, Pete.” You said laughing and he got up laughing. “It’s getting late, and colder. Let’s go to bed.”

“Only if you agree to share your bed with me tonight.”

“No, good night Pete.”

“Come on, you’re gonna have to get used to it, cause I only have a bed in my room back in New York.”

“So let’s leave all the magic to New York.”

And so you got into the house again, back to your bedroom, where you changed into your pajamas and lied in your bed. Peter was kind of mad you didn’t let him share beds with you, so he slept only in his underwear to provoke you. You dry swallowed, and he noticed, and smiled, covering himself with the sheets.

“Don’t I get my good night kiss?”

“You don’t deserve it miss.” He said and you laughed a bit.

“You’re mean.”

“So are you.”

“Good night Pete.” You closed you eyes and after a few seconds, you felt his lips kiss your forehead, so you smiled.

“Good night my love.” Your heart pounded again, and you fell asleep smiling.

You both woke up early the next morning. Happy prepared the car to take both of you to the city, and you helped Peter prepare the breakfast for you three and Tony, who woke up early just to say goodbye and to tell he would be there for graduation day. It was a quick trip back to New York. Happy drove the car, Peter went on the front seat and you sat in the middle of the back seat. He kept his hand in the back seat holding yours for a long time, and that warmed you heart up. It didn’t took long and you were already in the streets of Queens, when Happy parked in front of a building, where a middle age woman was at the sidewalk, waiting. Peter got out of the car and hugged her for a very long time. Happy opened the door for you and you got out of the car. Peter pulled you by the hand, closer to the woman he was hugging.

“May, this is Y/N, that girl I told you about. And well, Y/N, this is aunt May. She’s basically my mom, but I call her aunt because of affective reasons.“

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, it’s very nice to meet you too May.”

“Are you kids hungry? Cause I made some lunch.”

“May, you don’t have to pretend to know how to cook just to impress Y/N. She already knows you’re a terrible cooker.”

“Oh good, cause I ordered some homemade food from that old lady that lives down the street.” She made you laugh hard with that.

“It’s okay, I’m not that good as a chef either. Peter is the one who is always cooking stuff around.”

“Oh, my boy it’s just so good at everything.” She smutched his cheeks and he blushed.

“Stop it.” He said and it made you and May smile.

“So, are you going to have lunch with us Mr. Hogan?” May asked and they both crossed each others sights and thinks got kind of weird. It was clear that they had a crush on each other.

“I would appreciate it May, but Mr. Stark needs me back at the base as soon as possible. We have many things to do today.”

“At least get a sandwich. Go get it for him Peter.” He ran into the house and left you at the sidewalk with May. You both held you baggages and waited for Peter, who came back with a sandwich, a juice and an apple.

“Keep it healthy, Mr. Happy.” Peter blinked and Happy rolled his eyes.

“Thank you May. I’ll come with Mr. Stark for your graduation day.”

“Really?” Peter asked with his eyes shining.

“Of course. Everyone is coming, or you thought we would miss it?”

“I thought it was only going to be Mr. Stark.”

“So you better save some more seats for us. See you soon.” Happy got back into the car and drove off.

“Let’s go inside kids.”

Peter carried both of your bags and May lied a hand on your shoulder, guiding you into the building. The apartment was beautiful, much better than the one you used to live in when you were at some foster home in Queens. That one was really small and dirty. This one feels like a really nice place to stay and you liked it. Peter got the bags into his room and May showed you around. It wasn’t huge, but was really nice.

“I know it might not be big and luxurious as the place you live in but…”

“It’s perfect.” You interupted and May smiled.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“LET’S EAT!” Peter cheared and went running out of his bedroom, right into the dinning room.

You all had a nice lunch. You told May a little bit about your life, and she told a little bit about hers and Peter’s, and after lunch, while eating some sweets, she showed some kid pictures of Peter, who was really embaressed and blushed. You remained there until it was already very dark. Peter got his Spider Man suit on and May rolled her eyes to him.

“You just got back, and you’re going to be out patroling?”

“I’m actually going to take Y/N for a ride around town, but I’ ll need you to put on your suit.” He said directing to you and you agreed.

Tony designed a suit for you a few months ago. It was black and yellow, and had boots, just as you liked it. And a small mask covered part of your face. You liked it very much, and it was very comfortable. Peter had his mask on and so he said goodbye to May and you both got out by the window.

“I’m gonna need you to hold very tight to me.” He said and so you did, holding him by his back, involving his waist by your leg. “Okay, don’t let me go.”

So he jumped, but before hitting the ground, he started to bounce around his webs. You screamed and started to shake. He laughed and got to the rooftop of some building.

“Are you scared?”

“I’m so fucking terrified.” You said looking down, and he laughed, making you come out of his back and holding you on his front, and being really close to your face.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, looking at your eyes. You were mesmerized.

“Yes.” You replied and he smiled.

“Good. Maybe this will make you feel better.” He started to bounce around again, and you were helding very tight onto him.

You were screaming at the beggining, but it got really good with time. You were having a lot of fun, and Peter’s funny comments were relaxing you a lot. He stopped at a rooftop in front of a mall and sat by the bord. You sat next to him, and he held your hand.

“I don’t have a dress.” You said looking down.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“I don’t have a dress for prom.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I thought that wasn’t the kind of thing we usually talk about. And I want it to be a surprise. I want it to be perfect.”

“First, we talk about everything. Second, it will be perfect, you just need to be with me.” He held your hand tighter. “May can take you shopping tomorrow, and that way it will be a surprise to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

That night, he took you to eat dinner at a fast food store, but you ate at the rooftop of an old art gallery in Brooklyn, and watched the city that never sleeps still all awake, till it was very late and you both had to go home. May was already asleep when you got there and Peter got he bed prepared. It was a bunk bed, but the top bed was the only one unoccupied, since the other had your bags in it. You changed to your pajamas and Peter got his sweatpants on, and no shirt as always. He closed the door and the window for it not be too cold.

“I thought you said you only had one bed.”

“Yeah, I lied. But just because I never used the bottom bed. And because I wanted you to sleep with me.”

“You’re an idiot.” You got up to the top bed, but blocked Peter from getting in. “Nope, you’re going to sleep in the bottom.”

“Please, let me sleep with you.” He was pounting, and you smiled.

“Maybe if you put on some clothes, it will be nice.”

“You love my abs.” He said pointing to his naked body.

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t care, I’m gonna sleep were I want to, however I want to.” He lied next to you and you got on your way to get to the bottom bed.

“Whatever, I’m not sleeping with you.” But before you could get out, he held you by your waist and pulled you to him, and trapped you into his arms and legs. He buried his face at the back of your neck and used a web to turn the lights off.

“Yes, you are.” He already had his eyes closed, but he made you more comfortable, holding you in a comfortable hug and covering you with the blanket.

“Where is my good night kiss?” You asked, turning to face him. His eyes opened and looked directly into your mouth, and he just kept starring for a couple of seconds, but he kissed your forehead.

“Good night baby.” He said and held you closer.

“Good night.”

The week went by very fast, and you did many things with him. You met his friends, he took you to patrol, but he also took you to many nice places. He even did the movie night with you and May, and it was a really nice date. May was being really sweet to you and even took you shopping for your dress, and paid it for you. She talked about Peter with so much love in her eyes, and you loved it. And so the day finally came, prom night. She helped both of you get ready, you in her room, Peter in his room. You knew very little about makeup, but May helped you with that. He waited at the living room until May announced you were ready, and so you came out of the room wearing a beautiful navy blue dress, sandals and a flawless makeup. Peter was mesmerized, and his eyes shined like they never did. His heart raced and he couldn’t help but show the biggest smile on his face.

“You look amazing.” He said, standing completely still.

“You look amazing too.” You replied and reached for his hand.

“I need to take pictures. Wait a minute.” May ran to get her phone and Peter just kept starring at you. He couldn’t get his eyes of you.

“You look like an angel.” He said still looking at your face.

“You’re making me blush.” You replied and hide your face on his neck.

“Don’t hide, love.” He said and you looked at his eyes and you both smiled.

May came with her phone, and took plenty of photos of you and with you. And so it was time, so she drove you to school, where it was full of students. You met with his friends, and you all just had a good time. You danced with them all, and Peter really sucked at dancing, but he was asking you for help all of the time. He was trying very hard to make you feel really comfortable around him, and it was working. You danced to every song playing that night. And so the slow dance came, and he held you very close. Hands on you waist, your face resting on his chest, your arms holding him in a soft hug, and his head resting at the top of yours. You stayed like that for a very long time, but before the song ended, your eyes met and couldn’t get off each other.

“This is the part where I kiss you.” He said keeping his voice low. You could feel his breath against your face.

“So what are you waiting for Pete?” He leaned and closed his eyes, and so your lips met for the first time. It was very slow and sweet, just like you always imagined it would be. Now you were doing what you both craved the most for many months, and you wanted to take advantage of every single second of it.

“Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” He asked and you agreed. He took you out and got to the rooftop of a build right across the street. You could see people walking around, but you didn’t really care about them, you just cared about the boy next to you. He sat down and pulled you to his lap, and started to kiss you again, making it more intense this time, and so you both stopped and smiled. “Hi gorgeous.”

“Hi.” You smiled and kissed him again. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I was supposed to be the one thanking you, my love.”

“My love?”

“If you don’t mind me calling you like that, of course.”

“I always loved when you called me like that.” You kissed him again and you both remained like that for a long time. “But do you really love me?”

“I was talking about that with May today. She asked if I liked you, and until last week I thought so. Since the very first day I liked you, but after that day, that first day here that I took you out, I realized I don’t like you. I love you, Y/N, and all of that because Mr. Stark had this huge idea to put us in the same room, doing a lot of things together. I love every single bit about you. Your smile, how you just be yourself all of the time…”

“I love you too, Pete.” You interrupted him and he smiled.

“And I love how you say my name.” He said before kissing you one more time.

After that night, you never spent a moment apart. That week was the best of your life, and graduation day came. Everyone was in town, and after meeting them all at the event, you sat next to Tony, by the end of the row. Your eyes met Peter’s and you both smiled to each other.

“What is up with you two?” Tony asked and you looked at him very quickily.

“Nothing, I was just smiling at my friend.” You replied, blushing a little bit.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. You’re blushing. I know you like him, and he clearly likes you.”

“You think so?” You asked and Tony laughed.

“Oh kid, he really likes you.” He said looking back to Peter.

The cerimony took a while, but you all went to celebrate with Peter afterwards. Everyone was there, Natasha, Wanda, Bruce, Rhodes, Pepper, May, Tony, Happy and you. And he had fun with everyone, but when he saw you one more time, he gave you a big hug and pulled you aside.

“I need to ask you something.” He said, putting his hat in your head.

“Anything.” You said and he smiled and gave you a small kiss on the lips.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you agreed with your head.

“Yeah, Peter, of course!” He kissed you again and flipped you around, smiling during the kiss.

“Kids, stop for the photo.” May said, and Peter stopped still kissing you, and you heard May taking the photo.” This one is way too cute.”

“I loved it.” You said looking at the picture, and looking at Peter after.

“I love you.”

[secretgiverkitty]

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Check out Sasural Genda Phool by Angel Aruna on Amazon Music. Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on Amazon.com. Music lovers will surely have this beautiful song Moh Moh Ke Dhaagey in their playlist. This popular track was from the film Dum Laga Ke Haisha. Makers of the TV serial Ye Moh Moh Ke Dhaagey has taken the line of the song as their title. Sasural Genda Phool Sasural Genda Phool is a famous television light-h Read More.

Sasural Genda Phool is a famous television light-hearted family drama series aired on Star Plus. It is set in the beautiful and old Delhi 6 area, India and brings to life the characters of Suhana and Ishaan. The story revolves round the love-story of Suhana and Ishaan, how they meet, their marriage, family, etc.Suhana is a full-spirited girl, belonging to an affluent background, and brought up with all amenities and servants available for her beg and call.

Having lost her mother at an early age, she has always been very lonely. Cara instal driver sound win 7. She tries everything to get her dad’s attention but he is always busy and hence, Suhana grows up to be a rebellious person.

Having been denied love and being called un-fit for marriage by her love crush/boyfriend- Mohit, she decides to prove him wrong and agrees to marry anyone her Dad picks for her.Ishaan is a shy, warm-hearted software engineer living in old Delhi with his big joint-family. He has always failed in love and is the typical mama’s boy character who intends to marry according to his family’s choice.How they meet, fall in love and where life takes them, how Suhana having brought up in a small family adjusts to the new big family, etc.

Forms the crux of Sasural Genda Phool. It has also been known as the journey of Suhana’s character and how she finds the essence of family and its importance.

She discovers the love and care of the family and hence the name - Sasural Genda Phool.The peppy plays the spoiled brat Suhana Bajpayee Kashyup and playing the lead opposite her is the dashing as Ishaan Kashyap. Their awesome chemistry is one of the USP’s of the show. Famous ‘Tu tu main main’ bahu plays Shailaja Kashyup aka Badi Ma, Ishaan’s Aunt and his pillar of strength and opposite her is as Eshwar Kashyup, Bade Papa, Inshaan’s Uncle, who goes missing for many years, only to return back looking for acceptance from his family. And play Panna and Raunak, Shailaja and Eshwar Kashyup’s daughter and son-in-law.plays Alok Kashyap, Ishaan’s Father with essaying the character of Ranno Kashyap, Ishaan’s Mother. Other than Ishaan, they have a college going daughter Ishika Kashyup, played by the lovely.Sadiya Siddique plays the pivotal role of Radha Bua, a woman whose husband sells her to another person on their first night. She gets raped by the buyer and ends ups caring his son, Deepak, later played. Plays Kamal Kishore Bajpayee, a widower and Suhana’s Father, who loves his daughters a lot.

Plays Sanjana Bajpayee, Suhana’s Sister who later goes on to play Deepak’s love-interest and they get married after a lot of hardships and convincing by the end of the show. And play Ambarnath Kashyap and Gayatri Kashyup respectively, Ishaan’s paternal grandparents, who provide the comic relief to the show with their still budding love for each other, which has only grown with age.plays the role of Inder Kashyam, Ishaan’s Brother, and son to Shailaja and Eshwar Kashyup., plays Ragini Kashyup, Inder’s wife. They have a daughter, Meethi played by the cute 7 year old.

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Shyam Mashalkar plays Illyesh Kashyap, Ishaan’s brother and Pooja Kanwal Mahtani plays his wife Disha Kashyup.is also seen during the start as Sid, Suhana’s Ex-love interest who had rejected her; calling her unfit to be a marriage material.The show went on to become a great hit. So much that it was remade in Bengali –‘Ogo Badhu Sundari’ and was aired on Star Jalsa.

It was also dubbed into Telugu as ‘ ’ on Maa tv and in Tamil as ‘ ’ on Star Vijay. The show has recently been relaunched on Start Utsav.Sasural Genda Phool was aired from Monday-Friday on Star Plus, at 7.30pm. It premiered on March 1st, 2010 and the last episode was aired on 20th April, 2012 with a successful run of 2 years.Other dubbed versions of the serial.

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Watch Free Indian drama serial Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus Live. Watch Live All episodes and latest updates Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus drama is available online. All episodes Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus Download and watch Free Sasural Genda Phool epidode is Set in the Old Delhi, Sasural Genda Phool is a heart rendering story of two unlikely characters Suhana and Ishaan. It is a love story of two strangers who fall in love after marriage.Suhana is the lovely, spirited daughter of Kamal Kumar Bajpai. She hails from a palatial house with a plethora of servants to service her cravings. Having lost her mother at a very young age, she grows up as a very lonely person. Despite his best efforts, Kamal Kumar Bajpai is not able to give his daughter enough time. Denied a mother’s love and a father’s attention, Suhana has grown up to have a legendary temper. But equally legendary is her kindness. Everyone who has seen her grow up – her family, her servants and her friends – know her to be an honest, upright person, never shying away from calling a spade a spade. Unfortunately, Suhana loses in that most complicated game of all, love. In a flick of instinctive defiance, she agrees to marry whoever her father decides for her. But the marriage starts on a disastrous note. Suhana, who is raw from a recent break up, makes it clear to Ishaan that she is not in love with him. Epitomising the nice guy that he is, he decides to give her time for her wounds to heal. And then, something happens to Suhana. Whether it is the power of the marriage mantras or the ritual of living under the same roof, a magic happens. It starts with inconsequential things – choosing a shirt for him; packing his tiffin; or personally picking the flowers Ishaan likes best. Suhana slowly begins to discover her husband. Each new day, she discovers a new facet of her husband. Each new day makes Ishaan more endearing to Suhana. And before she knows it, she has fallen in love with him – a love which is deep and solid; a love that will truly stand the test of time. The story itself will unfold in the style of a Hrishikesh Mukherjee film – laced with warmth, kindness and humour – where the human soul comes out shining brightly as a true winner. It is in the angans and gallis of this beautiful city that Suhana will discover family, love and l

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[parisfms]

hey legends . im kelly and this is my absolute trash bag of a baby paris . im going to give you a heads up now she is the worst , like just horrible but like she can be fun sooo , wooo .  honestly i’ll probably add more to this at another time because i have so much to say about her? but i also wanna get to plotting with all you beauties! so if you would like to plot you can give this post a like or you can shoot me a message over on discord ( 𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵#6229 ) if you prefer chatting over there <3

the   tahan   family name is one that carries alot of weight . coming from incredibly old money , dating back over five generations . their wealth is rooted in the oil and gas business . although her father ( daveed tahan ) decided to take a different route to his family and in 1990 he and his friend co-founded interscope records ( yes i am mirroring her father’s career after jimmy iovine , don’t sue me ) where he has been a executive producer since the labels founding . he was a perpetual player who truly soaked up the attention he received within the limelight from women . ivy krige was no different , ivy was an up and coming model born to a wealthy family ( the   krige’s   had been paid off in the early 1800s by the british royal family to hold the secret that one of the krige sons was actually the heir apparent to the throne , they took the money and curated a luxury fashion line that still holds up today with the chanels & diors or the world ) in the netherlands . when she met daveed she was infatuated . they dated for about a month before he moved on to another . he assumed that would be it of him and ivy but weeks after the break up she came to him with news that she was pregnant . although the two no longer saw eye to eye , they agreed that the best thing for their future child was to have both of them in their life . 

although paris was born in   amsterdam   , the second her mother received the okay for the newborn to fly they went home to   manhattan   where paris would be raised . not even a full year after paris’ birth , ivy was offered a reality tv show on e! ( how very keeping up with the kardashians of her ) that would follow herself and her two siblings , all of which lived in the city . 

paris’ entire childhood was put on display and god she hated every second of it . she attended regular schools all her life so kids weren’t the nicest and teased her alot . because of the lack of friends she had growing up paris got into alot , she did equestrian , learned how to draw , play guitar , piano , and the drums , as well as how to speak arabic , dutch , spanish , and french . 

she also spent alot of time with her parents , she and her dad got along like two peas in a pod but he was either in los angeles or jet setting across the world so it wasn’t all the time that she got to see him . meanwhile she and her mom had all the time in the world to spend together and in all honesty paris just really isn’t a big fan of her mom . she even calls her ivy instead of mom , it’s likely resentment for the reality tv show as well as her mom always trying to be her friend instead of her parent .

as she got older things started to get easier with kids her age and paris really started to find herself in the whole nyc scene . she was never the nicest girl around . if anything paris and the word nice were never within the same sentence as one another . during high school she gave   regina george   and   blair waldorf   a run for their money . she was and still is the queen of icing people out , ruining their social standings , and manipulating people into thinking she has their best interest in mind .

the biggest note i can give you on paris is that she is not innately a good person , she does not have your best interest at heart no matter how much she manipulates you into thing she is/does .

by the end of highschool she was president of the model un , captain of the mock trial , and valedictorian of her class . paris has never just been a pretty face , she is incredibly smart and takes a certain enjoyment from learning new things . she inevitably decided to attend   georgetown university   in the nations capital . her boyfriend at the time wasn’t very happy about it but she was able to hop on a quick 3 hour flight back to the city every other weekend to see him . that was until they broke up . by then paris had picked up modeling and so she was in the city really whenever she wasn’t in class . 

her modeling career really started to take off but some how she was able to focus on both her blossoming career as well as her education . after just three years at georgetown , paris received her   bachelors in philosophy with a minor in film and media studies   . she was supposed to go straight to law school afterwards but decided to fall head first into the modelling world . she walked for some of the biggest designers , multiple times , starred in some musicians music videos , in just one year she’d surpassed all the modelling goals she had left . in a bit fo a limbo , unsure where she’d take her talents ,   karl lagerfeld   whom she’d grown close to over the years , invited her to come live out in france and he’d take her under his wing .  so she moved out to france . loving every waking moment of becoming his protegee , she wasn’t necessarily sure what he’d seen in her that he hadn’t in renowned designers but she surely was never going to question him . after his unfortunate passing , it came out that he’d wanted paris to take over as creative director of chanel but after one month she stepped down from the position claiming   “i took on this position while they sought out a true replacement for karl, i know he wanted me here but having to carve out my own lane in his shadow is all too impossible, if you ask me”   months later , it was announced that paris would be the   creative director of givenchy   , beating out oliver rousteing for youngest appointed creative director . 

she’s very recently back in new york city ( like it’s so new that she’s living at the plaza hotel while she’s still looking for a permanent place to live ) she loved living in france but honestly it was starting to get to her a bit with karl’s one year coming up .

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄

a total daddy’s girl , yes she is the type to say   “my father will be hearing about this“ 

the type to talk you into making a fool of yourself with her and then the next day you find a recording of yourself circulating and she’s nowhere to be seen in it

a total schemer , like blair waldorf level

loves her psychedelics and weed but not big on really any other drugs 

she has a small collection of cars a black range rover , silver bmw i8 , and a silver volvo xc90 and although she has a driver she does actually driver herself most of the time 

her moms reality show is still going and honestly gets really good ratings still ? it’s called    life with the krige’s : fashion royalty   ( normally abbreviated to lwtk )  and paris is on the show by default any time she’s around her mom , her aunt , or uncle . 

very bisexual and notoriously bad at relationships 

she certainly doesn’t have a pristine reputation , how could you when you grew up on reality tv though ? she wouldn’t change her reputation for anything though . the media surprisingly kinda loves her despite calling her an   ice queen   at times . the media sees her as  “authentic”   even though paris couldn’t find an authentic bone out of a haystack .

she can come off very funny but it’s because she has absolutely no filter and just really doesn’t care about hurting your feelings . the best way to sum up her personality is  “im actually not funny , im just really mean and people think im joking” .  

she has two pomeranians ( hi jeffree star , she’s coming for your brand ) named archie and joey . 

despite now being a creative director , img still has her signed on as a model , so maybe you’ll catch her pulling some wild shit like walking in her own shows in the future who knows

has a serious resting bitch face issue and honestly , it’s fitting

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓

so just a week before she was set to move out to france , paris attended a house party . her best friend was there and was being a total drag all night . paris was honestly sick of whatever funk the girl was in and so when the girl wasn’t looking paris slipped molly into her drink . not seeing any repercussions or even caring about them until the next morning when her friends body was found in the hudson river . someone who’d tried to get the girl down from the bridge claimed she’s shown serious signs of depersonalization as well as  disorganized thoughts ( both side effects of molly ) . paris decided to never fess up about her part in her friend being under the influence that night , letting it go down in history that the late model had a drug problem . of course , paris felt bad , no matter how horrible she can be her goal is never to assist in someones death let alone someone she genuinely cared for but she wasn’t going to let both of their lives come to an end that night by turning herself in .

[forallyourikemensengokuneeds]

raising a princess ch one

“Sakura come here!” Mitsuhide yelled through the house.

“No daddy.” She said as she stood on the landing, “I don’t wanna go to school.”

“Sakura Akechi! I have to go to work and you need to get to daycare.” He said as he went over to the stairs.

“I is a big girl, Daddy. I can stay here by myself.” She said as her golden eyes glowed with a knowledge Mitsuhide sometimes hated.

“You are a big girl but baby you have to go to daycare. I have to go to work. It is Friday and we can go to the park this weekend if you will just please go to school.” Mitsuhide pleaded with the now three year old.

“I don’t like it daddy!” she said as he moved up the stairs.

“Why don’t you like it?” he asked as he sat down at the landing she was standing on.

“Daddy Miss Tanya yells all day.” She said. “She is mean. I don’t want to go.”

“Sakura Do you want to look for another school?” Mitsuhide asked.

“Yes Daddy.” Sakura said as she hugged him.

“Well you still have to go to school today but after my meetings I will pick you up and we will go look to see if there is something you like better.” Mitsuhide said as he knew he was giving in to her to easy but he also really didn’t like the way the school was headed. When he placed her two years ago in the new school it was fashioned to be more of a learning center where the young girl would learn things like a pre-school but as time went by he could only see it being a place where people dumped their children all day. He hated leaving Sakura in it but until she said something he wouldn’t move her again. That day finally arrived.

 “Okay daddy.” She said as he hugged him and he lifted her up. He carried her to his car and belted her in to her car seat. Still small he wondered if she would ever be ready for a booster seat. They got to the daycare and he walked her in with her small backpack on his back and he looked around. She walked to her classroom which was in the back, though she was small she was in the advanced classroom with some of the older kids. He placed her backpack in the cubby hole she had and he bent down.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, princess.” He said as she hugged him tight and he pat her back.

“I love you daddy.” She said as she went to the table in the center of the classroom.

“I love you too princess.” He said softly.

“Mr. Akechi.” Miss Tanya said as she walked up to the man who was watching the tiny little girl at the table. “We would prefer it if you only used Sakura’s name here instead of any nicknames or pet names.”

“I will call my daughter whatever I wish.” Mitsuhide said as he looked down at the woman with disgust.

“It is just that some of the other children do not get called things like Princess by their parents and we find it gives a false sense of superioty to a toddler.” The woman went on.

“She is three. If I want to call my daughter princess, I will.” He said.

“I just find it causes much more trouble down the road.” She said, “Also I do have to ask you to refrain from doing it here.”

“You know what.” Mitsuhide said as he was trying to reign in his temper, “I don’t believe that we will have an issue with nicknames any longer.”

“Well it is good to see that you are taking my advice seriously.” Tanya said with a smile.

“I would like my daughters records please.” Mitsuhide said. “Sakura come here please.”

“Her records?” Tanya asked blankly.

“Yes. I would like her records please, NOW.” He said forcefully trying to not roar.

“But we don’t give those back to parents unless they are pulling their children from the school.” Tanya said.

“I know. As of this moment you do not have to worry what I call my daughter. She will not be going here any longer.” He said as an evil smile crept over his face.

“But.” Tanya said and the owner of the day care came over to help disfuse the situation. To which five minutes later he was walking out of the daycare with a folder on one hand and Sakura holding on to the other.

“Where are we going daddy?” she asked.

“To my job. I have that meeting I have to go to today but you can stay with one of your uncles. After that we will go find you another school.” Mitsuhide said.

    Three hours later he was standing in front of a small house as he wondered if he had the right address. This did not look like any of the other daycares he had been too over the years. He looked down out the little girl next to him who also had bright wide eyes. He went up and rang the bell. A young woman opened the door with a smile.

“Hello, Can I help you?” she asked with a slight southern accent he could detect.

“I called about the daycare about an hour ago.” Mitsuhide said when he cleared his throat to speak as the woman in front of him was one of the most beautiful he had ever laid eyes on.

“Oh, Mr. Akechi. It is so good to meet you.” She said as she opened the door wider to let the two of them in. “And you must be Sakura!” she bent down to Sakura’s level and put out her hand to shake the girls hand. Sakura looked up at her father who nodded and she placed her small hand in the one of woman in front of her. “It is a pleasure to meet you Sakura. My name is Kristy.” She stood up and looked again at Mitsuhide, “If you will come with me we can discuss what you wish for Miss Sakura and then if your still interested in our program I can gladly show you around.”

“Lead the way.” Mitsuhide said as he looked down at his daughter who also seemed to be taken with woman. They went into an office off to the side and she left the door open.

“As I told you the owner who happens to be my aunt isn’t in today. She won’t be in for a week or so but I can answer any of your questions.” Kristy said as she sat down.

“So your aunt owns this place?” Mitsuhide said.

“My aunt started this place because of the sheer size of the family.” Kristy said. “We all went here at some point of our lives.”

“We?” Mitsuhide asked.

“My Siblings, cousins, and myself.” Kristy said as she pointed to a picture on the wall. “We were a huge family and my aunt was the only one who had a degree in early childhood education. She started this place to help all of us find a place to fit in.”

“A place to fit in?” Mitsuhide asked.

“Most of our fathers were also in the military. We were born in different places and often had different backgrounds in education even from our own siblings at times. She helped us with learning English and getting us ready for the school systems here. She made the program to help us, her family, but found that adding a few children from other families was the key to having a well rounded program. Even now the family is the main users of the school.” Kristy said with a smile. She looked at the tiny girl who was looking around the office. “Do you have any questions Sakura?”

“Is that you?” the tiny girl asked as she pointed to a picture on the wall.

“Surprisingly no, hun.” Kristy said as she walked over and took the photograph off the wall. “This is my mom.”

“Mom?” Sakura said with a tilt of her head. “I don’t have one of those.”

“Well if you wanted to see me in one of those pictures. I am in this one. Though I must be around your age.” Kristy said as she glossed over the admission of the young girl, “It was when my dad moved us from south America to here. He was in the military too just like your dad.”

The girl continued to look at the different photographs on the wall. “Now Mr. Akechi can you tell me what you are looking for in a program for Sakura?”

“Something that will teach her something. I don’t want her to be sitting in front of a tv or doing arts and crafts all day every day.” He started and Kristy let out a small laugh.

“I understand.” She said. “I think maybe I should show you around so you can see that we are slightly different then most daycares.”

“Yes. I think I would like to see that.” He said and Sakura took her fathers hand as they left the office.

“Now this right here is the front entrance. Though most people use it to come and go so we can monitor who enters and leaves we do have another entrance around back. It has a special badge that you have to have to open the doors. We do have an alarm on that one as well so we know inside the building that someone accessed it. These front rooms are our conference rooms that we can have meeting with families to give quarterly reports on each child. We do have these conferences on your schedule so if you have an issue we can help address it here as well. Now here comes the classrooms. This is the babies room. We have two teachers and eight infants under twelve months old in here. We also have a floating teacher that helps out in here when needed. Now the younger toddlers room. And further down the hall over here is the classroom that Sakura would be in.” Kristy opened the door and waved as all the twelve heads of the children turned and saw her. The two teachers that were in the room also looked up, “Please continue.”

“And this is how we say it in French.” The teacher said as she repeated a phrase in french to the class while the other teacher said, “This is how we say it in Spanish.”

Kristy shut the door and smiled at the two people she was giving the tour too. Mitsuhide was impressed already and it seemed his daughter was. “Now let’s go to the art rooms and the computer lab.” Kristy continued on the tour showing them room by room and the outside of the building with the semi large playground.

“This place is completely different.” Mitsuhide said.

“Like I said my aunt built this whole concept from the ground up. She knew that it would be more effective on the learning parts if it wasn’t like a school. There is one television in the whole building. That is only used for the older children on a Friday if they have received enough credit for the week. They also only watch a half an hour of whatever it is they won. Language skills are important for under five years old so we introduce things that will help them as well when they are older. It also helps for those who have to learn English that we offer five different langagues here. We are a family regardless and my aunt runs this place like it is her family.” Kristy said as she sat back down.

“Sakura what do you think?” Mitsuhide asked.

“I love it here daddy.” She said as she looked up at the woman who was sitting there.

“Okay princess.” He said as he looked up at the woman. “How much is the school.”

Kristy threw out a number and Mitsuhide looked at her like she was insane. “How is that possible? I was paying three times that amount at the other place.”

“Mr. Akechi we believe in quality over making a profit.” She said. “My aunt will never be rich but she will have the knowledge she helped guide her children here into something better.”

“We will take the spot.” Mitsuhide said.

“Good, now let’s have you fill these out.” Kristy said as she pulled out a new folder with a bunch of papers.

“Do you work here?” Mitsuhide asked.

“Actually no I don’t.” Kristy said, “I fill in for the office if I am needed like this week that my aunt is on vacation. I also help out here over the summer. I am in medical school and have break then.”

“A doctor huh?” he asked.

“Yes but I owe a lot to my aunt. You will find that most of the teachers here are either my cousins or they are former students.” Kristy said.

Mitsuhide looked at her and smiled. This was going to be the daycare that worked out for him and Sakura. Something told him this was going to help him with the girl.

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Growing Up Too Fast

Sam Wilson X OFC Bucky Barnes X Reader Steve Rogers X OFC Time slipped by without anyone noticing, before anyone knew, it was suddenly midnight, the kids still all awake. a/n:this is going to be the final fic to this series, I’m sad to say!

10 Years Later

It felt strange, knowing that the kids were all teenagers already, where had my little babies gone?  I mean, it was too bad, even if sometimes Becca, or Sammy refused to acknowledge both Y/N and I if we had to pick them up from school.  We wanted to give them a normal life, where people didn’t go after them because I was there dad.

“Your uncle said he’s bringing the kids over to stay so him and Aunt Krista can go on a little vacation, you’ll be on your best behavior, right?” I glanced between Sammy, and Becca, raising a brow when they ignored me.

Y/N shook her head, wiping down the mess that had accumulated on the counter.

“You know, I can text Uncle Tony and have him turn off those devices for the next month.” Becca nearly slammed down her phone, her attention on me suddenly.

“Sorry dad, I was texting Rosie.” Oh, well I guess that wasn’t so bad. “Still, your mom and I said no phones at the table.” Sammy put his phone down before Y/N could grab it from him.

The kids would be here soon, and if I wanted to make sure the house didn’t look like a dump, I’d have to help Y/N clean up.

“They’re here!” Becca jumped up from her seat, running outside to greet Cap, and Grant who’d jumped out of the car.

Rosie was laughing at the two pups that had managed to wrangle Becca down onto the ground, smothering her with kisses.  Rosie plopped down beside her, playing with Grant’s ears as Cap laid down on Becca.  Sammy headed outside to greet Steve, Krista, and Haley.  

“He definitely has a crush on that girl, it’s so obvious.” Y/N wrapped her arms around my waist, running the tips of her fingers along my left arm.

“Trust me, I know.” I shook my head, heading outside to help Steve.

The kids were all talking, too fast for any of us to really figure out what they were saying, maybe it was for the best that no one bothered to ask.  

“Hey, thanks for offering to watch the kids.” I shook my head, it really wasn’t a big deal.

“You did it for Y/N and I when we went on vacation, it’s the least I could do for you guys.” Krista called over the two pups, showering them in kisses as the kids all headed inside.

It was late enough that everyone had at least eaten dinner already, but early enough where we could spend some time before everyone had to head off to bed.

Cap followed behind Steve as he headed inside, placing down the kids bags by the door.

“Be good for Uncle Bucky and Aunt Y/N, you guys hear me?” Steve had put on his best Captain America face, how it still worked on the twins, I wasn’t sure.

“Okay dad, have fun with mom.” They all said their goodbyes, giving hugs and kisses to cheeks before Steve and Krista headed off.

The living room was silent for a few moments, before Becca and Rosie broke the silence by announcing they were heading up to her room to hang out and talk.  Sammy, and Aj plopped down onto the couch, Haley following suit.

“You guys don’t have to feel awkward here, just want you to know that.” Haley and Aj both looked up, it was weird looking at the kids I’d held as babies so long ago.

“We know Uncle Buck, it’s why dad wanted us to hang out so much when we were younger.” When the hell had they gotten so smart?

“Oh, right.” I nodded towards Aj and headed into the kitchen.

Y/N sighed to herself, plopping down onto the couch and letting Cap jump up so he could cuddle with her.  Even though Becca was fifteen, and Sammy was fourteen, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with four teenagers, and a soon to be preteen.  They were on summer vacation, so they weren’t missing any school, but it was still going to be weird.

“Sam said he’s gonna bring Ella by with Anna tomorrow, we were gonna head out and do some grocery shopping.” I swear, that’s what they bonded over the most.

“That’s fine hun, tell him to bring over their swimsuits so we can go swimming.” She was silent, but I wouldn’t doubt that she was sending a text to let Anna know.

The house seemed to settle after a few minutes, the girls upstairs were giggling at whatever was on their phones, while the boys, and Haley, were watching tv with Y/N.  It was nice, peaceful in a way that it usually wasn’t.  That was due to the two teenagers that liked to make Y/N and I more stressed than we ever needed to be.

I plopped down beside Y/N on the couch, reaching over to pat Cap’s head as he relaxed on the plush cushions.

“He’s getting old, just like his dad.” Cap barely lifted his head, deep brown eyes staring over Y/N to where I was.

“Steve’s had him for what, almost sixteen years?  He’s gonna get old eventually.” It was strange looking at the dog that had brought Steve and his wife together, the very dog that helped get me during my own panic attacks.

No, now’s not the time to get upset over the thought of Cap getting old, think of all the good memories you’ve made with him.  Steve’s his owner, the person who helped raise him into the dog he is today.

“Are you nervous about giving your press conference on Friday?” Y/N leaned over, resting her head against my shoulder.

“A little, not everyday I get to tell everyone I’m retiring from being an Avenger.” Tony had set us up with a bank account, to ensure we’d still be able to get paid even after stepping down.

“You’re gonna do great.” She smiled softly, pressing a kiss to my jaw.

Sammy groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“Hey, your moms trying to be supportive, don’t act like a little shit.” That got a giggle out of Haley, and Aj both.

“You guys don’t need to be macking it on the couch, we have guests.” Sammy gestured to Aj, and Haley, even throwing a look towards Grant who’d made himself comfortable on the floor.

I couldn’t stop the snort that slipped through, covering my mouth to try and prevent from waking both Cap, and Grant.  Y/N simply rolled her eyes, patting my thigh gently before getting comfortable once more.

Time slipped by without anyone noticing, before anyone knew, it was suddenly midnight, the kids still all awake.

“Alright guys, time for bed.” I helped Y/N off the couch, nudging Cap off and pushing him towards the dog bed Steve had left.

“You said Uncle Sam’s coming over, right?” Sammy looked almost hopeful, it was kind of adorable. “Yeah, he’s bringing over Ella too.” Now wasn’t the time to be discussing tomorrow’s plans.

Sammy all but ran up to his room, Haley and Aj heading up to the guest room they would be using to sleep for the rest of the night.  Y/N wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling us into the room so she could change, and lay down.

“You’re amazing for doing this for them hun, most people would never agree to watch their best friends teenage kids for a week.” I merely shrugged, pulling out a pair of sweatpants to change into.

“He did it for us, it’s the least we could do for them.  And plus, his kids are really well behaved.” When I turned back around, Y/N had her arms crossed, a smirk playing at her lips.

“You’re just a softie and don’t want to admit it.” Y/N changed into her pajamas, laying down in the bed.

I blushed softly, pulling off my shirt and jeans, and pulling on the sweats that Y/N had gotten me as a gift for our anniversary.  They were some of the best pants I’d gotten, and I wasn’t about to tell anyone where she’d gotten them.  I slipped in beside Y/N, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her flush to my chest.

“I love you, so much.” Y/N’s cheeks were dusted in a light pink, a small smile on her face.

“Don’t gotta sweet talk me Buck, you already got me.” I couldn’t help but scoff.

“Babe, even if I already got ya, I’m still gonna do what it takes to make sure you’re happy.” That caused her cheeks to darken even further.  It was beautiful.

She didn’t say much of anything, choosing to curl up in my arms before falling asleep.  I’d do anything I could to protect her, and our kids.

~~~ “Dad!  Mom says it’s time for breakfast.” Who the hell was yelling at me?  And why the hell was the sun so bright?

I rolled onto my back, groaning at the tightness of my muscles for a second before it dissipated, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“What time is it?” I glanced over at the clock, noticing that it was nearly ten thirty.

That was definitely the latest I’d slept in years, normally I was the one getting up and getting everything ready for the day.  Did I give off a vibe to Y/N?  Or was she using her mother’s intuition to figure out how tired I really was?

“I’m coming.” I pushed out of the bed, heading down to where everyone else was.

The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes fill the air enticingly.  Y/N was definitely the better cook out of the two of us, but I never forced her to make dinner when she was exhausted.  It takes two to make a family, which means equal effort on both sides.

“Smells great babe, how come you didn’t wake me though?” I stepped over to where she was, wrapping my arms around her waist.

“You were sleeping like the dead, figured you could’ve used a few more minutes of sleep.” Oh, well that wasn’t so bad I guess.

The kids were all eating, and even the dogs had already eaten.  Man, I really did miss a lot this morning.  Well, Sam would be here any minute, and I needed to eat before they got here.

“Go ahead and eat, Sammy’s gonna make sure the pools clean before you guys go in it today.” That was nice of him to do.

I made myself a plate, plopping down at the table and digging in, the pancakes were fluffy, and the bacon just on the right side of too crispy.  It was the perfect breakfast to dig into before Sam and his entourage arrived.

Becca was raising an eyebrow at me, while both Haley, and Rosie were giggling to themselves.  What was so funny?

“Is it really necessary that you’re sitting at the table shirtless dad?” I glanced down at my naked chest.  That’s right, I’d forgone a shirt when Y/N and I had gone to bed. “They’re gonna see it anyway when we go swimming, and besides, the scars are barely visible anymore.” Becca rolled her eyes, finishing off her eggs, and orange juice with a sigh.

And I was right, Sam showed up right as I’d finished eating my breakfast, little Ella running behind in her bathing suit and sundress.  She looked absolutely adorable, and it reminded me of when my kids were young.

“Man, do you always have to show off your abs?” Sam gestured to my naked chest and stomach with his hand, Anna, his wife, laughed as she stepped over to Y/N. “I don’t sleep with a shirt on Sam, it gets way too hot if I do.” He'd known that too, because Steve was the same way.

He rolled his eyes, heading into the backyard where all the kids, and the dogs were, heading down to the pool with Ella.

“Anna and I are heading out, so try not to kill Sam before we get back please?” Y/N bent down, her lips pressing against my own in a chaste kiss.

“I’ll try, but no promises babe.” Anna laughed once more before dragging Y/N out of the house.

I headed down to our bedroom, changing into a pair of my own swim trunks before going outside to where the pool was.  The weather was a little humid for what I normally liked, but it meant the pool wouldn’t be ice cold.  The kids were already swimming around, Sam holding onto Ella as he lazily floated.

“Man, I’m gonna end up living in your pool during the summer, I swear.” Sam propped Ella up a little more, so that her body was half in, half out.

“That how Becca is, especially whenever Steve and Krista come over with the kids.” I stepped over to the stairs, stepping into the pool slowly.

The water was warm, almost like lukewarm bathwater, but it felt nice compared to the sticky air that surrounded us.  Maybe Y/N could ask Steve and Krista if they wanted to come over after they got back, have a barbecue with everyone.

“Was it difficult?  Retiring I mean?” I’d gone over the pros and cons a million and one times, but the nerves always got to me.

“It was weird at first, not getting called into action if something was ever going on, but when Anna told me she was pregnant I knew that being retired was the better option, never looked back.” That made me wonder how Y/N felt whenever I’d gotten called away on a mission, back when the kids were young.

“Steve’s been telling me to retire for the last ten years, I was just so afraid of something bad happening after I’d stepped down that I couldn’t help myself.” Sam nodded, swimming over to where I was waist deep.

The kids were all splashing, both dogs running back and forth at the deeper end to try and figure out what they were doing.  It was a nice scene to watch, to know that my family was going to be safe, no matter who was an Avenger.

“I’m doing my press conference on Friday, mostly because Steve’s coming back on Thursday and I’d hoped he could help give some advice on what not to say.” I’d gotten into arguments with people online, especially when they’d try to degrade either Steve, or my name. 

“Don’t swear, that’s the biggest one he’ll tell you.  And, don’t slouch.” I looked over to Sam, raising a brow curiously.

He simply shrugged, but then again, he’d already had to do this on his own before.

The rest of the day was spent in the pool, until everyone complained that they’d gotten pruney and it was time to get out and get some food.  Y/N was back with Anna, putting away the groceries as five kids ran inside to eat.  Sam was still holding Ella, who’d managed to fall asleep while wading around.

“Thank you for having us over, and letting Anna do some shopping on her own.” Sam smiled over at the woman he’d called his wife.

She was everything he ever needed in a woman, and she definitely didn’t take shit from anyone either.  Steve had approved of her within a few minutes of greeting her, and Y/N and I weren’t too far behind.  She fit right into the little family we’d made, bringing in a little girl for Sam to protect for the rest of his days.

“No need to thank me Sam, it’s what friends are for.” I smiled at him, waving as Anna opened the car to where Ella’s booster seat sat.

“I expect to see you at her sixth birthday next week.” Sam pointed an accusing finger at me as he headed over to Anna.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, you know that.” Anna took the sleeping child from his arms, setting her into the seat and buckling her in before getting into the car herself.

I waved em off, waiting until their car was much too far away to see before heading back inside to sit down and eat dinner.  Y/N had offered to cook once more, claiming that she wanted to since we had exerted all our energy while swimming.

“Babe, you know I can do that, right?” She gave me a ‘you better sit down before I make you’ type of look, that meant business.

“I want to do this Buck, so go and relax for now.” I nodded at her, plopping down at the table before she brought out the wooden spoon.

She’d only ever had to use it once before, and that was when she had been pregnant with Becca and I refused to listen.  Never again.

I watched as she cooked, entranced with the way she looked so beautiful in doing something that seemed so mundane.  It was just spaghetti night, nothing too fancy, and yet she made it look so effortless.

“What’s everyone want to drink?” Y/N had her head in the fridge, looking at the assortment we now had.

The kids all yelled out the same thing, which was hilarious in of itself, I preferred to just drink water with dinner, she knew that.  Once everything was done, and mixed together, Y/N handed out the drinks and set the bowl of spaghetti on the table.  Everyone scooped out their amount, putting parmesan cheese on top, and digging in happily.

“You make it just like mom does, it’s so good.” Rosie practically melted in her chair, a content sigh echoing in the air.

“I actually taught your mom how to make this when we were younger, especially when we were living on our own and could barely afford bread for the week.” Y/N scooped up a big bite for herself, eating contently.

She’d told me about her past years ago, wanting to get my mind off the way things hadn’t been so positive for myself.  I liked hearing the stories though, it was adorable knowing that the woman who gave birth to my two children, had once been utterly terrified of needles.

“Dad tries to get mom to talk about her past, but then she feels bad because of what dad went through.” I glanced over to Y/N, staying quiet to not cause issue at the table.

“It’s understandable though, he didn’t grow up like your mother or Aunt Y/N, he grew up in a time where we were going through the depression, and couldn’t even afford bread for a month.  If it’s really bothering her, just have her talk to your aunt, she’ll help her out.” Y/N blushed for a moment, finishing off her plate.

No one else brought up conversation after that, though it didn’t feel awkward, which was a nice surprise.  Nothing worse than upsetting your nieces and nephew when they still had to stay at your house.  There wouldn’t be bad news to relate to Steve, or Krista when they got back home.

~~~ It felt as if I’d blinked, and Friday was upon us, staring us in the face almost angrily, even though I wanted to deny that it was actually angry.  Tony had sent over a suit for me to wear, it wasn’t anything flashy, which was nice for a change, but it meant I needed to change and head to the compound.

“You’ll do just fine, we’ll be waiting for you.” Y/N finished tying the knot of my tie before sliding it up to rest at the base of my throat.

Steve and Krista weren’t back from their vacation, so he’d unfortunately miss the press conference.  The kids were happy to go with though, be a little support group when I finished telling the world I was done fighting.

The drive over was nerve wracking, enough to nearly make me sick.  Y/N held my hand the entire time, fingers laced with my own.  The kids were all quiet, talking amongst themselves about something they were all into at the moment.

The compound loomed over us like a black cloud, the amount of news vans sitting outside brought another wave of fear over me.  What if I did manage to screw all of this up?  What would happen then?

Tony was standing outside, away from where everyone could see him so he could show us the way inside.  Y/N parked and got out, waiting until all five kids were out before stepping around to where I was waiting for her.

“Ready to do this?” Tony stepped over, patting my bicep gently before walking back inside.  It was obvious that everyone was sectioned off into a room, unable to see us just yet.

“Nervous, not gonna deny that.” I turned to look at Y/N, who was smiling happily, stepping back to give Tony and I some room.

The reporters were talking softly, though the volume was still too loud to calm my nerves that were currently racing.  Tony walked out first, stopping right next to the podium that I would have to stand in front of, and give my speech.  I took a slow deep breath, and walked out after him.  The cameras were flashing, people yelling out my name to try and get my attention, but I was only here for one thing.

“Thank you all for coming here today, but we’re not here to discuss anything about me, today it’s about my good friend, and fellow Avenger, James Barnes.” Tony stepped away from the podium entirely, letting me step up.

It almost felt as if the world were spinning as I glanced out at everyone, noticing a few familiar faces from watching the news occasionally.  Though, there was one face at the very back I recognized immediately.  Steve was smiling, trying to hide under the baseball cap he had on.  Of course.

“Thank you, Tony.  I’m here today to announce my retirement from the Avengers.  I’ve been working side by side with them for almost sixteen years, and my time has come to an end.  I’ve met some amazing people on the way, and helped save thousands of lives, but now is the time for myself, and my family,” I took a breath, feeling tears well up.

“I thank you for coming out today, and for your support for what we’ve done over the years.  Thank you.” I stepped down and glanced over to Tony, before heading out to where Y/N and everyone else were.

 As I suspected, Krista was standing with Rosie, Aj, and Haley.  She looked the happiest I’d seen in years, so maybe the vacation was long overdue.

“The speech was perfect Buck, told you everything would be fine.” Y/N patted my cheek gently, pressing her lips to my own.

“Thank you hun, I was nearly sweating bullets standing up there.” Steve stepped out of the room, ensuring no one saw him leave.

“Bout time you retired, old man.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“You’re only a year younger than me punk, watch what you say to me.” Krista laughed, pulling the kids over to where we were.

It felt amazing to watch the family I’d made stand together happily, my two kids standing with Steve and his wife, their three kids laughing together.  This was how life was meant to be, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

[everything-person]

Good Night, Mom

A/N: So this came from a prompt I wrote 2 years ago. I came across it again and since no one picked it up I decided to give it a try. I just hope its half as decent as the original prompt. This story was also beta’d by @let-it-raines and @theonceoverthinker. It took sometime and alot of edits but we are finally here hope its okay.

Since there was only like 10 people that liked the original prompt I thought you might want to see the actual product so I tagged them I hope thats okay:  @iron-dreamboat, @perpetualwanderer398-2, @randomblog1981, @sprinklesofweird, @midnightswans, @allons-yandcustardcreams, @stefh2456, @godohammers, @katd2003, @snotelek, @ouatcountdown, @teamhook

Without further ado here it is.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

For a bunch of fairytale characters, the people of Storybrooke really knew how to celebrate. What was supposed to be a simple celebration felt more like a frat party, a far cry from the “luxurious balls” depicted in any story book. Our house was filled with half the town, all gathered together for what was suppose to be a simple family get together. But I guess that’s what’s to be expected when being raised by pirates and part of the most famous family in town.

I was managing my way around the crowded living room, occasionally receiving a pat on the back, a side embrace, or promises to catch up later from people I pass. Everyone wore a smile on their face. The air was filled with laughter, chatter, and the light music playing underneath it all.

As the night dwindled down to a couple of close friends and family, I was doing a sweep through the house when something outside the window caught my eye. I turned to see a familiar dark figure standing on the porch. I slipped out the door, quietly approaching my target as the soft sounds of what was left of the celebration seeped out of the house. Getting closer, I could hear his murmurs flowing on the soft breeze of the evening wind. I stopped a few paces away, seeing him lean against the railing watching the clear night sky. I waited until I thought he was finished.

“Papa,” I called, getting his attention. “What are you doing out here?”

“Just talking to your mother.”

**********************************

From the moment I woke up, despite the warmth of my bed and the presence of my stuffed friends, I could tell that something felt wrong. It was as if the whole world changed, but I didn't know how. Something was missing, but I didn't know what. The first thing I thought was to go back to sleep. Maybe if I woke up a second time everything would go back to normal.

It didn't work. I opened my eyes to sunlight pouring through the window, the faint sound of birds chirping reached my ears. I was comfy wrapped up in my blankets, head buried in my pillow, but it all felt like a lie. From there, only one thought crossed my mind: Find Mama and Papa.

I jumped out of bed and ran to their room. I climbed up into their bed but they weren't there. The sinking feeling only got worse growing with every passing minute. My heart started pounding with one penetrating thought running through my head, where's Mama and Papa? Once I was able to wiggle my way off the bed, I made my way downstairs. I looked in the kitchen thinking maybe Mama and Papa were making breakfast, but they weren't there either.

My eyes were wet and my lungs started to burn when I heard something from the living room. I spun around and saw Papa sitting on the couch. I let out a relieved “Papa” and ran to him. He enveloped me in his arms, pulling me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder and seeking the comfort I desperately needed. After letting the few tears I had fall, I picked up my head and looked around. “Where's Mama?”

Papa didn't say anything for a moment, “Mama.” He looked away from me and coughed before trying again, “Mama went somewhere.”

“Where?”

“I’ll tell you later,” He said quickly before looking back at me. “Right now how about we have pancakes?” He lifted me into the air and carried me into the kitchen.

The strange feeling never went away.

*************************

That night, Papa took me on the Jolly Roger. I was so excited because it was the first time he let me help steer the ship. Papa stood behind me, supporting me as my feet rested on the inner wheel between the spokes. I was gripping the handles as his hands covered mine, helping me keep the wheel steady. I couldn’t stop laughing, I was so happy.

We sailed a little bit away from the dock before Papa dropped the anchor. Everything was so peaceful. I was never on the Jolly Roger at night, and the water made it look like we were sailing through the night sky.

I was on the deck watching the water glisten in the moonlight when Papa knelt down and showed me this golden triangle that had a picture of a horse on it. He called it a sextant and told me it was for looking at the stars. He then pointed up at the night sky and showed me all these pictures it held.

“Now lass look over there,” Papa said as he pointed to the sky. “Do you see those two big stars and the four little ones? It's a swan.”

“Like Mama?”

“That is Mama.” I looked at Papa confused. “Hope… remember how I told you Mama went somewhere?” After I gave him a nod, he continued. “Well, she had to go live in the stars. She drew that swan so we could always find her.”

“Why?”

“Because she had to.”

“Can we go to the stars too?”

He looked at the floor clearing his throat. “I wish we could little love…” He looked at me with a small smile, “But I promised Mama we would stay here and keep an eye on everyone.”

“But what about Mama?”

“Mama will always be with us. She's here.” Papa put his hand on my heart. “And we have the swan to find her every night. We can talk to her and tell her about everything she misses, and if you listen carefully you can hear her talk back.”

I looked up at the stars. I stood there for a moment before the wind whispered to me. “I hear her Papa,” I said before whispering back, “I love you too Mama.”

***************************

I was three when Mom died. Since that day, every night I insisted Papa and I go outside or up to the window to find the swan in the stars, to find mom. We used to have a whole routine where we would talk to Mom and tell her all that has happened that day along with anything else that came to mind.

I remember falling asleep at the window more than once in a state of peaceful bliss as my mother wished me a goodnight from above. It used to be my favorite part of my day. I couldn't wait for the stars to come out so I could “see my Mama.” Once they showed up, I would tell her about all the stories Henry told me, all the games Neal and I played, and even about the cookies Aunt Ruby had snuck me.

Papa would never talk to Mom, at least not when I was talking to her unless it was to remind me of something I forgot about. But this wasn’t the first time I caught him talking to Mom.

*****************************

A couple days later, Grandma and Grandpa came over with Uncle Neal. Henry, and Aunty Regina came too. Everyone was in black and kept hugging me. Papa told me we were all going to Granny's to eat and that I needed to wear a dress.

When we got to Granny's everyone seemed sad. Everyone kept looking at us and saying sorry. Why were they sorry?

I didn't like it. I didn't like everyone looking at me. I didn't like everyone saying sorry. I didn't like everyone looking sad. I didn't like everyone wearing black.

The whole time, I stayed close to Papa and Henry as we sat at our booth and ate. Sometimes someone would come up to us, but Papa would tell them to go away. I heard him mutter, “Swan, give me strength.”

I didn't like Papa being so mad. I wished Mama was there.

****************************

I woke up on what I could immediately tell was our couch. The light of a movie playing on the TV helped me as I took in the space around me. Goosebumps ran up my arms and I realized that the front door was open. As I approached the door with intentions to close it, the sound of a familiar voice stopped me. Poking my head out, I saw Papa sitting under the bright canopy of stars, his voice sounded breathy, I couldn't make out what he was saying.

“Papa?”

“Oh, love, I thought you were asleep.” He scrubbed his face as I walked over to him. I curled up in his lap and once I was settled, he wrapped his arms around me. “I was just talking to Mama.”

“Hi Mama,” I yawned.

“I was telling her how much better you're getting with a sword. She wasn't at all surprised -- she always said you would be a great little pirate.” As he spoke, he rubbed my back in the soothing motion.

“Can mama come to my birthday?”

“I'm sure she would love to come.” He stood up still holding me, “Now, let's get you to bed.”

**************************

A boisterous laugh coming from the party inside pulled me from my memories. My fifth birthday party was the first party we held at night, and we had it in our backyard. Ever since then, we celebrated everything at night, just to make sure mom would be here. Ignoring the antics of our guests, I leaned my head against Papa’s shoulder settling in next to him.

“She’s quite talkative tonight.”

Looking up at the sky I whispered, “Oh, what's she saying?”

“You can’t hear her?” He bent his head down slightly to look at me, “No, you haven’t heard her in a long time.”

“Well, she’s saying how happy and proud she is of you.” His accent drifted on the wind as he looked back at the sky.

No not at the sky. At her. At Mom.

“She says you’ve become such a strong, smart, independent, beautiful woman. She misses her little pirate princess that you once were.” A gentle grin stretched out across his features as he continued. “She loves you so much and she couldn’t be prouder.”

I couldn’t help the smile that crept onto my face. “I love her, too. And I’m glad I could make her proud.”

We stood in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company. The wind whistled through the otherwise silent yard. A shiver ran down my spine. “Ooha, Papa it's getting a little cold. Let's go back inside.”

Rubbing my hand on his arm, I turned starting back towards inside. Leaving my hand on his arm stretching out my own until I was too far away letting my hand fall back to my side. I froze when I heard my father speak again.

“I wish I could join you, love.”

*****************************

It was when I was watching “The Iron Giant” with Henry for the first time that I really gave thought to the concept of death.

“Things die. It's a part of life… it's not bad to die… Souls don't die.”

Those words triggered a thought I've been successfully suppressing for years. They were the start of accepting the reality no one would dare say aloud. Mama’s dead.

“Hey. Hey it’s okay. It’s just a movie.” Henry's voice made me realize my face was wet. I didn’t even realize I had started crying.

I looked over at Henry and asked, “Henry,” my voice quivering despite my best efforts. “Did Mama die? Is her soul in the stars?”

Henry's eyes went wide, “Um… well…” He looked at me and then sighed. “I promised never to lie to you, right?” I nodded my head. “Yeah. Yeah, Mama died.”

I sat there for a moment fighting with a lump in my throat the size of our house before asking the one thing most prevalent in my mind. “Is Papa gonna die?”

Before Henry could answer, the sound of the front door opening broke through the atmosphere. I ran over to see that Papa was home. He was on the phone, still half in the doorway, but regardless of the manners I had been taught, I couldn’t leave the matter unaddressed. “Papa, when are you gonna die?”

Papa glanced over at Henry before speaking into his phone once more. “One minute.”

A sob burst out of me as I lunged myself forward grabbing onto him. He knelt down holding my shoulder so I would look at him. “Wow, lass. It's alright, I'm not going anywhere. Do you know how old Papa is?” I sniffled, trying to get a control of my breathing and once I had it, I shook my head. “I'm over 300 years old and I promise I will live for another 300 years okay?”

I nodded, still trying to calm down as he embraced me, whispering soothing words in my ear until I finally felt at ease once more.

****************************

I was still processing what he said as I turned around. “What,” I asked hoping that I heard wrong.

I walked up to him and faced him. I placed my hands on his arm as I pleaded, “Papa what did you just say?”

Papa sighed. “She said she’s feeling lonely and missed her favorite dashing rapscallion.” He let out a small chuckle before the smile dropped from his face. “That's when she asked when I was going to come to her,” he explained.

The weight of what he was saying hit me and I pulled away from him slightly. His eyes remained forever on the stars. On his wife.

“I was just telling her I can’t join her. Not just yet. I still have another 300 years before we can be together again. I can’t leave you just yet.”

I took a moment to look at my father, to really look at him. The big strong pirate I looked up to my whole life melted away. His hair was a mix of gray with the black it used to be, he had bags under his eyes and his face was slightly wrinkled. But it was more than that. His body was draped in a tiredness I never saw before. His eyes shined with a sadness and longing I never noticed. He looked as if he held a great weight on him waiting to be relieved. I couldn't help but feel the promise he made when I was ten was apart of that weight.

Memories flooded my mind but it was as if I was seeing them through new eyes.

On that first morning, his face was red and slightly puffy, his voice was gruff. It all clicked together -- how tightly he held on to me, carrying me everywhere, refusing to let me go. Like if he did let me go even for a moment, he would lose me too. Then there was the tremble in his voice when he first told me how mom was in the stars, the way he stiffened when I asked if mom could come to my birthday and the concern and fear in his eyes when I asked when he was going to die.

I saw my papa's’ eyes glisten with unshed tears. Every hitch, quiver, and tremble in his voice when he spoke of her was now as vocal as the roar of a lion. The way his body went stiff and rigid anytime I asked about her was now so obvious. Everything he tried to hide to protect me, to stay strong for me, became clear and I wondered just how I could miss it.

This whole time, he had to be the strong one because he had to raise me. Because I lost my mother, but he lost so much more. He lost his wife, his true love, and the happy ending they never fully experienced. He lost a part of himself, his Swan, and never got to properly mourn for her because he had to push forward and be my Papa.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I placed my hand on top of his and told him, “It’s okay, Papa. If you want to, you can go. Go be with Mom. I’ll be alright.”

A kind smile spread across his face as he finally turned to look at me. Shaking his head, he teased, “Nah. You can’t get rid of me that easily. I have a promise to keep. I did my waiting, and now it's her turn. Besides, she has your grandparents to keep her company.” He then leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “It's getting late. We should head back inside.”

With that, he turned and went inside, not bothering to see if I was following and leaving me with my thoughts.

****************************

“Where is it? It has to be here. Where is it?” My hands shook as I frantically searched to pile after pile of papers. Papers scattered on the ground had me on my knees trying to collect them all, wishing that just one held the information I needed, when the lights turned on.

“Hope. What are you doing?” My eyes flicked up to see Papa standing in the doorway his face scrunched up, eyes scanning the room as he tried to figure out what the scene before him was.

Not bothering to stop my search, I casually said, “looking for something.”

“What are you looking for?”

I dropped the papers, placing my hands flat on the floor, let my head hang. The only person that can stop my search stood five feet away. After a moment of thought I stood facing him. Looking him in the eye I asked the question that had been driving me insane since Grandma died two months ago. “What happened to Mom?”

The silence was deafening, but I refused to waver. “I deserve to know.”

“You do know-”

“No,” I yelled as I let all the anger, and desperation consume me. “She is not! She is not in the stars! My mom is dead! She is dead and her body is six feet under the ground in the Storybrooke cemetery! My mother died when I was three years old and I didn't get to know what killed her! That's not fair!” I felt like I was drowning as I gasped for air.

He took a step forward reaching for me but I took a step back. I came here for an answer. “How did she die?”

He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off before he could even start to question me, “I want to know! I deserve to know! Everyone else gets to know! Everyone else gets that closure! So why don’t I?”

My heart was pounding, my eyes burned with angry tears, and my breath heaved through grit teeth. “Tell me.” It came out as a plea more than anything else.

He just stood there watching me. His gaze in steeled. “She was shot.”

The whole world felt like it stopped and slowed down at those three words. “What?”

He looked down at his shoes taking a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself, before he eyes returned to mine. "She got an emergency call. We went to see what was going on and someone shot your mother."

My ears were ringing, my stomach turned into knots before I stamped it all down. ‘Your telling me the Savior, who held the most powerful magic in all the realms, got shot? And thats- thats just it? She just died?”

“Lass-”

“Why couldn’t she heal herself?! Or-or Regina?! Why couldn’t Dr Whale save her?! Why didn’t you?!” I was near screaming at this point, my fist clenched at my sides.

“We tried everything we could-” He once again tried to come to me but I walked to the other side of the room distancing myself as far as I could from him.

‘Why are you lying?! Mom didn’t just get shot! She fought dragons and giants an-and caught bad guys for a living! She had Henry and Grandpa and Grandma and you.” I paused letting the next part out as a whisper, “She had me.” Shaking my head glaring at my father I allowed for my anger to consume me again, “she wouldn't have just gone off and gotten herself shot!”

“Lass your mother loved you so much. She wanted to be here for you. She was very careful but she also knew the risks of being the town protector. It shouldn’t’ve happened but it did.” His voice wavered as he croaked out, “I’m sorry, love. I’m so so sorry I couldn’t protector her or you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save her. And I’m sorry there isn’t more to the story but that’s just it. Someone shot your mother and she died.” His voice softened as he said “ But we shouldn't have her memory sullied but how her life ended. We should treasure the time we had with her even after she went to the stars.”

Tears streamed down my face as I shook my head, “if your not going to tell me what really happened then fine but I’m done talking to a cluster of balls of gas billions of miles away waiting for a voice I'm never going to hear again.”

I stormed out of the room and we never spoke of it again. I refused to speak to anyone for the next following weeks.

***************************

One day, I was helping out at the Sheriff's Station. While searching for paper cups, I came across an innocent enough looking box. I was in the midst of going through it when Papa came in.

“What are you doing, love?” His eyes were trained on the box with his eyebrows furrowed.

“I found this box. It has all this random stuff in it. A shoelace, glasses….” The next thing I saw made my throat go dry and my heart skip a beat. I picked up an old photo and realized what all this stuff was. “Is this mom’s?”

“Aye. It was.” He came over to the box and looked inside. He picked up what looked like a tape. He motioned to follow him, putting the tape inside the tv in the station. What appeared on screen shocked me to my core.

“Killian look. Henry and I found some old empty tapes. Now we can make a movie of this little one.” Papa was holding a small baby that began to squirm before letting out a shrill cry.

“I think this little one wants her Mama, love.” The camera moved and shook before stilling.

“Okay, hand her over.”

And there she was. My mom taking me from Papa cradling me to her chest. “I think she’s just hungry. I’ll go feed her. Can you turn that off? Just press the red button.”

The screen went black before going to the next clip. Mom was standing directly in front of the camera. “You sure you got it?”

“I’m fine, love.”

Mom turned while explaining what was going on. “Okay so we put these things in front of her and see which one she crawls to.” Mom placed me on the floor in front of some random items then sat opposite of me. I started crawling and went right past everything right into Mom’s lap. “Well, if that didn't prove she's a Charming I don't know what will.” Mom was laughing as she held me up in the air. I couldn't help but laugh with her. I never thought I would hear that laugh again.

The next clip was me in a high chair with Mom and Papa sitting on either side of me. A couple of cupcakes sat on the table. They started singing happy birthday, the rest of the clip consisted of me smearing cupcake over my face and trying to feed some to Mom and Papa.

The next scene was Papa rocking me back and forth while singing. The camera was placed down and Mom walked over to join, wrapping both of us in her arms as we all swayed back and forth.

The tape kept going like that, playing a bunch of random clips of Mom, Papa, and a baby version of me. The last clip showed Mom sitting in a rocking chair me laying on top of her while she hummed. I didn't realize I was crying until Papa wiped the tears from my face. “I didn't realize how much I missed her.”

“She misses you, too. But you can always find her.”

I shook my head as I let myself cry through my confession, “I haven’t talked to the stars in years, Papa.”

“Shhh shhh.” He pulled me into his chest cupped my head with his hand. “It doesn’t matter. Your mother can always hear you, and you can always find her.” He pulled away slightly to look at me, placing his hook on my chest. “She’s here. She is always right here.”

*****************************

I looked up at the sky. My eyes easily settling on the familiar cluster of stars I was shown so long ago.

When I was little, some nights Papa would read me a book. Some nights, he would tell me stories of being a pirate. Some nights, he would sing to me. Some nights, we would watch a movie and fall asleep together. My favorite nights were when he would tell stories about him and Mom. But every night since the first, we would go up to the window and look up at the stars. Sometimes it was a quick trip, and other times we would sit there for a couple minutes and talk about the day along with what was new. But we would always say three words before going to bed.

This night I looked up the giant swan in the sky, a small tear running down my cheek, and spoke three words I haven't said in a long time.

“Good Night, Mom.”