#i wasn't out as queer back then. i was just very openly unlabeled/questioning

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

I was feeling a bit weird about my art, like I hadn't really improved in a while, not in a way that matters to me at least, and it was bothering me a little. So I did what I usually do when that sort of things happen: I went back through some old drawings to see how I would draw them differently today, what I think I could improve in those works now, and doing that makes me feel a bit better about my current drawing skills (to be clear : I'm still very fond of my more ancient drawings, they're imperfect, and what I draw now still is, but they were genuine and I loved drawing them so I'm very proud of younger me for drawing those back then. I still love all of my old drawings so much).

Anyway, I found this one sketch, and it reminded me of a fun anecdote about it.

So throwback to when I was 15 and I drew this lesbian couple in my notebook during idk, biology class probably, and the girl next to me was asking me to see what's I was drawing. So even though I was reluctant, I showed what I had done so far and she went "wow, that's so pretty!" But the thing is, I had kept the tall girl's hair for last so she passed as a guy until I drew it, and when my neighbour realised it was a girl she made this face like, frowning her nose, kinda judgemental kinda disgusted and she didn't ask to see my drawings ever again.

I still think this drawing is cute. I was so right to draw lesbians instead of listening to whatever the lesson was about<3 Long live lesbians for real, y'all are so cool

Anyway, if you're an artist (any kind of artist), don't be ashamed of your past works. Like I have some stuff that I've drawn and that I find straight up ugly but I still love those drawings so much, because they meant something to me back then, and because idk, it's my art!! I created something!! Took it out of my heart and put it on paper!! And that's so cool!!

At the end of the day, all of this has made me realise that, since I'm not trying to be a professional artist, I don't need to get better, and honestly, I don't particularly want to. I can try if I ever feel the need, but as of now, I think I'm fine with just drawing whatever I can. Sometimes with the intent to share my work, sometimes just to keep it to myself. (Oh dear I love art so much actually it's insane. Every form of art. When it comes from the heart, I always manage to be drawn to it with so much intensity. I love the way people create. Yes this is just another art stan post lol)