#i was thinking about him sitting in the hermit's cave listening to white noise on spotify and smiling like he's listening to a great song
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look out galahad! the grail is pulling you in like a magnet!!! perfection is a breath away and that which becomes perfect vanishes forever from the earth!!! oh god he has airpods in he can't hear us. he's listening to box fan noise 8 hour loop oh noooooo
#aggghhh sir galahad reached inhuman perfection and disappeared from reality#okay seriously what. am i talking about#arthuriana#i'm reading the grail section in idylls of the king right now#i was thinking about him sitting in the hermit's cave listening to white noise on spotify and smiling like he's listening to a great song
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CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTEREâS TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF
Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki
Crossposted on AO3
Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. âTubbo! Iâm serious, explain some shit, fuckinâ nerd!â Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.
 âHermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If youâve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, theyâre from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! Youâll find one of their instructions. Theyâre geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grianâs one of them-â
 âGrianâs one of them!?â Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubboâs grin widened, nodding vigorously. âYes! Heâs the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys heâs teammates with every MCC, theyâre usually other Hermits!â Theyâd continue explaining to the best of their ability.
 âShouldâve fuckinâ started with the fact that Grianâs here! That fuckinâ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!â The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.
 The brunett nodded along, chuckling. âYeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ân stuff? Theyâve started posting and sharing discoveries about that. I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the âHermitsâ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?â Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.
 Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.
 Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tabletâs robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.
Tubbo wasnât too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly. The brunnett wouldnât be surprised if that was the target of the blondâs current tangent. Tommy hadnât even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.
 The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy.Â
 âFuckinâ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. Itâd be to easy if weâd just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didnât even care, fuckinâ dick. Bet that green assholeâs just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-â The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boyâs voice became muffled.
 With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. âWhy is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?â Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.
 Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boyâs breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. âAll of what?â Theyâd tilt their head.
 The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. âUs. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckinâ complicated. Big Man, youâre president. Youâre- youâre the fucking president, now, Tubbo.â
 The bunnettâs brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. âYeah. But itâs- itâs still us, yâknow? If- if life was easy, then weâd be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-â
âWeâd always meet eachother, Tubbo. Thereâs no fuckinâ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.â The blond nudged the teenâs shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.
 That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. âI hope so, Tommy.â Theyâd chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommyâs side sigh an exhausted sigh.
 âThis is just, livinâ the fucking life, huh?â Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.
 His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. âWeâll figure this shit out tomorrow..â Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.
 Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasnât given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before heâd be pulled into slumber as well.
 Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.
Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommyâs eyes.
 âW- Holy shit! Youâre Grian!â Tommy squawked indignantly.
 Tubboâs head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights.Â
 The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. âUh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah? Iâve seen you at most of the MCCâs Iâve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! Iâm really looking forward to the next one!âÂ
This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.
 Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.
Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadnât betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.
 âThis is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!â Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused.Â
 âOh! I- well thank you! Iâm glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!â Heâd take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.
 The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. âEllo there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,â She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her. âWe just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?â
 Tommy quietly hummed skeptically, surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors mustâve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.
 âFine, sure..Well, weâre still fuckinâ breathing, and weâre here. So you donât really need to be here any longer, yeah?â Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side.Â
 âThank you, for checking in. I- Iâm sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, thatâs my bad.â They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stressâ attention, turning towards the tene.
 âOh, no! This isnât a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!â Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.
 Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. âOkay, but Iâm not the only example of that happening- you didnât have to pick me out specifically!â
 âSure I do, Love! Youâre the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!â She cheered. Stressâ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldnât help but smile and cackle at her and Grianâs banter.
âUh huh,â Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. âLast I checked, that was Iskallâs job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didnât really hurt all that bad, but itâs a matter of the principle!â
 Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. âI forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!â She chostled, shaking her head fondly.
 She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. âThey wonât give you any hard time, theyâre just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..Theyâre usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!â She giggled, covering her mouth.
 Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. âYeah- they, they sound like something.â It was..A strange environment, to be sure.
 Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didnât know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.
 Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldnât find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dreamâs server.Â
 The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.
 âWeâre glad to see youâre both alright, but, I donât think weâve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..Weâd be happy to help you however we can. We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.â
 Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. âThe⊠Cow..merical district?â Heâd repeat, squinting.
 Grian snickered, nodding. âYeah! The name just stuck. Itâs our shopping district. We have a bakery- itâs never, ever too early for cake. Thereâs Docâs shop, but thatâs all villager-bought, if itâs the rare occasion that itâs stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.â He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.
 âOnly if youâd want to,â Stress would interject. âEither of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. Youâre allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.â
 The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermitsâ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.
 â..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?â Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.
 Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. âI came prepared, just in-case!â She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.
 âIf you know how to use elytras, X already said heâs more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well. But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.â Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him.Â
 Tommy didnât pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. âWhat! I donât think iâve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!â He pulled out the stack of sixteen.
 One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldnât remember a time he had so many enderpearls.
 âThank you! Wow- yeah, pearls arenât really common in our server! This- this is really nice!â They felt giddy, as they pulled theirâs out as well, the action muscle-memory.
 âWell, Iâm glad you two can put them to good-use, then!â She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.
 Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.
 âTommy! What did you do?â Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.
 âNothing!â Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.
 At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.
 âTruer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.â He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.
 Grian grinned, nodding. âYes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and weâll fly out to you.â He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand.Â
 Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. âYou got this, Toob?â He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water.Â
 âYeah! Iâve got this, Big Man! No sweat!â They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.
 Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece, primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.
 With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.
 Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.
 The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.
 Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.
âI want to drive! Tommy, iâm driving us!â Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.
âTubbo! Iâm not gettinâ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of âdrivingâ is no one elses, my friend.â He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.
 âCâmon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!â They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.
 Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.
 Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didnât get a good look, but, he couldnât quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didnât like it.
 âAlright,â The older Brit at hand started. âWeâre real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there arenât any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.â He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.
 âSure, then! That sounds g- wait, whatâs that name?â
âCâmon, then!â Grian wouldn't answer Tubboâs valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.
 It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadnât felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.
 Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.
 Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.
#bets against the void fic#whitelist au#mika-posts#mcyt fic#mcyt au#dream smp au#hermitcraft au#hermitcraft fic#dream smp fic
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FUCK MY LONDON
Hermit's Cave. Sniff in the bogs. Fucking stinks in here. Camberwell Road. Corrib Bar. Watching football. Landlady said we were welcome back but not to bring any black people with us. Not in those words. Never went back. Walking past venues I played in that are no longer there. Rhythm Factory. Whitechapel Road. Round the corner. Used to be able to buy hash. Private member's club. Pool table. Foreign students. Building gone. Pint in the Castle. One end of Brick Lane. ÂŁ2 in my pocket. Other end. Got food. Zoot. Beer. Still had some change. In my day this was all fields. Stewart Home. This is my home. I want to leave. Leave home. Chemical Brothers. Prodigy. Brixton Academy. No drugs. 13. Wouldn't go to see either of them now. Fuck them. Tried to get into the 4 Aces. Dalston used to scare the shit out of me. Me and Andrew went to buy an ounce and got robbed. Clapton Square. Got away with the weed but Andrew got his phone and ring nicked. Andrew convinced it was a set up. I'm still not sure. Arrested for criminal damage and possession at Caledonian Road & Barnsbury Station. The free line. Graf everywhere. Me and Mark. He was already on doing more serious stuff. Getting banged up for writing would've been silly. Bumped into him on Cambridge Heath Road. Years later. He was in an X5. Little gaff out in Essex. Kid. Still moving food but not touching it if you get what I mean. Born in Walworth. First wave gentrification. Sitting out in the garden at 6am sharing a joint with one of the Birmingham Six. Reading Ballard. Under the Westway. Subterranea. Black Star and Company Flow. MCD and Scratch Perverts supporting. Mainly crushing fucking boredom though. Africa Centre. Hour of jungle at the end of Funkin' Pussy. Listening to Rudimentary Peni. Carcass. Blak Twang. Rodney P. Heartless Crew. Upfront FM. Fuck it. Listing stuff. I'm sitting in the Barbican. Working. Listening in to an American man having a conversation with an English woman. I sort of hate them. They are probably alright. Vacuous pricks. The lot of us. St James' C of E primary school. Bermondsey. Jamaica Road. Everyone white. Almost. Everyone racist. Almost. What the fuck happened there? Used to play out on the Arnold Estate near the community centre my mum helped found. Found a load of porn out back. Awakenings. You can get a St John Bakery custard donut there now. Arches used to be full of garages. Cut and shut. Dennis was a ticket tout. Got us tickets to the '93 Semi-Final. In the fucking Spurs end. I was in an Arsenal shellsuit. Scarf. Cap. Got let in the Arsenal end. Grew up watching Palace. Everyone at school was Millwall or Liverpool. Why the fuck do I support Arsenal? Questions. Didn't grow up but I got old. Long nightwalks. Getting robbed in broad daylight on my own street. Kids from Kid's Company. Wallet full of cash I couldn't really tell anyone about. My sister wanted to go down there with a kitchen knife. In the end they apologised. Sent a cheque. We all make mistakes. Always carry a glass Lucozade bottle. Middle class grunger to middle class wannabe badman but I never wanted to be anything. Books. So many books. Art was everywhere. Went to Sensation. Load of shit obviously but exciting. Southbank. Mid to late 90's. Never skated. Legendary names. Benjobe. Tom Penny. Hardcore. Hip-hop. Rapping. Kope was working at A1 Stores on Wooly. Bag full of spraypaint. I never painted. Different sort of writing. Exploration. I'm not an urban explorer. Follow the Thames. Richmond to Teddington. Tower Bridge to East India Dock. Trinity Buoy Wharf. Sitting in a lighthouse all day. Hungover. Got chased through Broadway Market. Years before the farmers showed up. London is tiny if your postcode limits your movement. Escape. Fiction is liberating. The truth won't set you free. George Davis is innocent. Frankie Fraser on the 12 bus with his little dog. Chatting to my mum. Richardson's club house and torture chamber on a quaint little square just off Camberwell Road. Pet shop that used to stink of skunk. Dangerous dogs out front. This is what you're moving into. The ghosts will catch up with you. The past is never really the past. I'm past it. Read too many conspiracy theories. Canary Wharf as a beacon of occult energy. Hawksmoor Churches. All mainstream. Pick up the info in Waterstones in the London section. Make up your own myths. Smoking DMT in Blythe Hill Fields. London breathing. Viewpoints. Greenwich Park. Primrose Hill. Parliament Hill. Lunchtime. Out of the stockroom. Packing records all day. Enough to make you hate music. Where's the glamour? Guestlist is standard. Why the fuck would you pay to watch music? I still love it. Astoria. Gone. Plastic People. Gone. We went downstairs and when we went back out everything was covered in snow. Walking back. D Double E and Footsie. Legends. Tubby on decks. I think. All blends into one. But the snow. That happened. Stayed in Hackney. Walked back along a white carpet. These moments we live for. Put up with all the shit. I never really took photos. Stopping traffic at Elephant & Castle roundabout after getting run over. Black cab driver wanting to make sure I was alright. Asked what football team I support. Told him. Said he'd leave me in the road if it was up to him. Banter. Fucked up my Helly Hansen. Driver had no insurance. I told him to drive off but everyone made him stay. Writing is alchemy. You don't have to believe me. Planning is alchemy. London is being remixed. New block of flats named after the pie and mash shop on Westmoreland Road. Some attempt at continuity. Don't worry about me. It's everyone else. The search for authenticity is futile. Tayyabs. Lahore. Needoo. The holy trinity. But don't kid yourself. You can't eat your way to an understanding of lived experience. I'm sitting across the road from Madame Tussauds. This is authentic London even if you think it isn't. Some of my best friends are northerners. GO HOME. Get out while you can. I grew out of the fear of other areas. I moved. I walk from Lesnes Abbey to Grove Park on the Green Chain with my uncle. I walk from Finsbury Park to Alexandra Palace on the Parkland Walk with my girlfriend. I walk from Limehouse Basin to Island Gardens to Greenwich to Southwark Park with my mate. I walk from my flat to Walthamstow Marshes via the Olympic Park with myself. Memories shadowing every step. An egret and a heron near Stratford Westfield. I'm convinced we're all going to die in a shopping centre. Kingdom Come. Every witness appeal tells a story. Pain. Tragedy. I was watching Therapy? at Brixton Academy when the second riot happened. A venue full of pale faced teenagers insulated from an outpouring of justified anger. I performed with the guy who is supposed to have started the first Brixton riot. When the whole city rioted I walked up the back of Walworth Road watching kids hide stuff in bins. No one even noticed me. This is England. Wembley. Norway. Such a terrible match. The people behind me and my dad making monkey noises whenever Paul Ince touched the ball. Turned me off England for life. I couldn't even enjoy Euro '96. Arch contrarian. Of course I disagree. Got my bank account emptied and lost about ÂŁ140 of other people's money getting robbed on Churchill Estate. Never trust someone who has just come out of prison for kidnap who says they can get some good food for a good price. Lesson learned. Two kids on the N68 tried to move me up. This was much later. I was wearing a Stone Island. I think they thought I was balling. I'd spent the night doing other people's sniff. I had a shit phone and an Ipod. I explained. We left on good terms. Lesson learned. Even where I used to sign on is gone. RIP Camberwell Job Centre. I fucking hated you but I miss you. Monday night football at the Petchey Academy saved my life. Made me a better person. The Shacklewell before it was cool. When it was cool. Saw Rodigan out back. Felt like a proper shubs. The Haggerston when it was Uncle Sam's. Live jazz. Terrible pints. Sitting in a Polo. UKG. Smoking draw. Just driving around. My room in the attic full of smoke. Entire house stinking. So many lost years. Round to Len's after a night out. Get the chop out. Staggering home. 8am. Mouth so dry. Lying in bed. Zoot in the ashtray. Bottle of water. Normal weekend. The Gramaphone. Commerical Street. Gone. Rushing. Hudson Mohawke and Rustie. Insanely strong pills. Up to the tubes for a weird after party. Everywhere will go soon. Corsica Studios. Summer of ket. Spangled in the smoking area. That rave in Hackney Wick. Bouncer wearing a bally. I was sick into a ballon. I was falling in love. Never wanted a relationship before that. Football. Drugs. Music. Books. Art. Masturbation. Very occasional sex. That was enough for me. I was kidding myself. Obviously. You pick and choose memories. You order the moments. You try to create a coherent picture. There is no coherent picture. Nothing to see here. Move along. First football match. Palace. Millwall. Punch ups in the family enclosure. Scary as fuck. LOVED IT. Grown men screaming cunt. Just got a text saying Whitechapel Bell Foundry is closing. My London is over. Fucked. Done. You can keep it. Do what you want with it. I don't care. If I don't care then why am I crying?
THE CUNTS, FREAKS, CRIMINALS, BOHEMIANS, NAZIS, NUTCASES, IMMIGRANTS, COMMIES, TRAMPS, ARTISTS, VANDALS, MUSICIANS, SHOTTERS, MIDDLE CLASSES, WHITES, BLACKS, WORKING CLASSES, TOFFS, GAYS, CHANCERS, BANKERS, BARROW BOYS, STALLHOLDERS, STAKEHOLDERS, LADS, CASUALS, RUDEBOYS, ANARCHISTS, BELL MAKERS, DRUGGIES, BARISTAS, RAVENS, BEEFEATERS, TOURISTS ETC. ARE ALL GONE. DONE. FUCK MY LONDON.
#london#factual fiction#fictual faction#history#lost#camberwell#walworth#walking#mental health#drugs#music
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