#i was theeeere it was a bit depressing
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the storm before the calm (f. andersen) | epilogue
A/N: Here it is, the end of The Storm Before the Calm. I know it was a short ride, but it was quite the wild one at that! I hope you enjoy. Also, apologies to the native Danish speakers (or any speakers of Scandinavian languages) for the probably-butchered Danish translations here -- Google Translate helped, but Iâm sure itâs not the same as the native tongue.
TW: depression, postpartum depression, feelings of helplessness etc.
âFred! Â Fred!â Fred was awakened by his name being screamed through the baby monitor perched on Aleidaâs bedside table. Â âFred please come in here, please. Â I need you.â
Aleidaâs voice sounded desperate. Â He whipped the covers off his body quickly and began walking towards the nursery where he saw Aleida rocking and bouncing a one-month-old Helena, who was crying. Â Helena hadnât been sleeping particularly well since birth, although Fred and Aleida obviously prepared for that. Â But when Aleida looked up at him, he could see a look of pure helplessness in her eyes. Â They were red â not from fatigue, either. Â âHey, câmere,â he said softly, extending his arms so he could take Helena from her.
âWhy wonât she stop crying? Â Why canât I make her stop crying?â Aleida asked with complete strain in her voice.
âItâs okay, itâs okay,â Fred cooed as he took Helena from Aleidaâs arms, delicately balancing her head in his massive hand as he laid her against his chest. Â âI got her, I got her, just relax.â Â He began rocking Helena back and forth and almost immediately, Helena calmed down and stopped crying. Â He began kissing the top of her head delicately. Â âTheeeere we go, Helena. Â Theeere we go.â
Aleida looked helpless as she watched Helena â her baby, the baby she carried for nine months â calm down for her husband. Â It wasnât that she was jealous â far from it. Â She felt worthless. Â Completely worthless. Â And guilty that she couldnât help her baby at all. Â Tears started to fall from her eyes as she collapsed into the rocking chair. Â âShe calms down for you. Â Why does she calm down for you and not for me?â
âAleida, itâs okay,â he said. Â When he looked down, he could already see Helenaâs eyes drooping back to sleep.
She shook her head. Â âI canât do it. Â I canât. Â I canât do it.â
âAleida.â
âNo, I canât do it. Â I canât even comfort my baby,â she cried.
âYes you can, come on. Â Youâre just tired. Â Itâs okay.â
âI canât do it, Freddie.  I canâtâŠI canâtâŠâ
âShhhâŠitâs okay,â he said, walking over to her in the rocking chair.  âYouâre just tired.  Sheâll be better tomorrow morning.  Youâll be better tomorrow morning.  Just get some rest.â
Aleida tried to pull it together. Â She tried to keep her tears behind her eyes as she stood up. Â She tried to get a peek of Helenaâs face squished on Fredâs chest. Â She saw Helenaâs cheeks, and her eyes already closed, falling back to sleep. Â âYouâre so good with her, Fred.â
âGo to bed,â he said, kissing the top of her head. Â âGo back to bed. Â Iâll be there in a bit.â
As she heeded his request, she walked back towards their bedroom and fell into their bed, wrapping the covers around herself tightly. Â A few stray tears fell as she could hear Fred through the baby monitor coo Helena some more before he laid her back into her crib. Â When he finally came back to bed and saw her curled up in the fetal position, he got in and cuddled beside her, wrapping an arm around her. Â She didnât move into his touch.
âItâs okay, Aleida. Â Itâll get better,â he whispered as he kissed her shoulder.
Heâd said that before. Â Itâll get better. Â Youâll get better. Â But it wasnât. Â She wasnât. Â
It wasnât getting better.
***
âHvem er min smukke prinsesse?â Frederik asked as he finished buttoning up a onesie with a unicorn on it. Â Helena gurgled happily at the sound of her fatherâs voice. Â She even smiled slightly, making him smile. Â âHmm? Â Hvem er min smukke prinsesse?â he repeated. Â [[ Whoâs my beautiful princess? ]]
When he finished dressing her, he picked her up and held her in his arms and against his chest. Â She gurgled happily again at being so close to her dad, and he bounced her around briefly before leaving her nursery. Â At two months old now, she was making much more eye contact with him and smiling so much more, which he loved. Â There were little things sheâd do, and little faces sheâd make, that would completely enamor Fred â send him so far off in the deep end he didnât even want to get out. Â He was so completely in love with Helena. Â
He turned the hallway, opening the door to his own bedroom. Â As he walked in, he saw Aleida still in bed. Â He walked quietly over to her, trying not to make too much noise. Â âAleida,â he whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. Â With one hand, her rubbed up and down her shoulder and arm. Â She didnât react at all to his touch. Â âYou gonna come down for some breakfast?â he asked softly. Â âI can pour you a bowl of cereal if you want. Â Or eggs â do you want eggs?â
âIn a little bit,â she said absent-mindedly, not looking at him or Helena at all. Â
Fred bit his bottom lip.  That was obviously not the answer he was looking for, but the answer he had to accept.  It was becoming all too common.  Not join him and Helena for breakfast, make her way downstairs around lunchtime to see if everyone was still alive, only to go back up to the bedroom or lie on the couch for the entire afternoon until it was time to go to bed.  âOkay.  Okay.  I uhâŠIâll see you in a bit,â he said, getting up again to walk out of the bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. Â
Fred made his way downstairs, grabbing some of the breastmilk in the fridge Aleida was still able to pump (if she felt like it).  He warmed it up as he always did and sat on the couch with Helena in his arms to feed her.  Even though he did it every morning â well, every feeding, really â he would look at Helena the entire time, completely mesmerized.  He made her.  He helped make her, at least.  Now, he had the greatest gift of all â of taking care of her and raising her.  Making her giggle and laugh, making her smile, making her squirm, making her burp, making her go down for tummy timeâŠeverything.  Everything.  He loved it all.  And she was perfect in every single way. Â
Fred just wished Aleida was here to see it all.
When he finished feeding Helena and began to pat her back to burp her, he could hear his phone vibrate from its place on the counter. Â He strolled over to it, glancing at the name and message on the screen.
How is Aleida today? Â It was a text from Brendan Shanahan. Â
Fredâs heart stopped beating in his chest momentarily. Â He knew he had to be honest, but it pained him to be. Â He knew that if anything was going to start getting better, like he promised Aleida it would time and time again, he would have to act. Â He would have to be proactive. Â
He picked up his phone. Â I think I need to call a doctor.
***
âOoooommm!  Ooooommm!â Fred made dramatic eating noises as he began pretend-munching on Helenaâs feet, free of socks, as she lay on her blanket on the floor.  âOoooommm!  Jeg spiser dine tĂŠer!  Jeg spiser dine tĂŠer!â  Helena gurgled happily.  âMmmmm, sĂ„ lĂŠkkert!â  [[ Iâm gonna eat your toes!  Iâm gonna eat your toes!  Mmmmm, so yummy!â ]]
Helena let out a string of happy squeals, and Fred momentarily left her feet alone to pepper her face in light kisses, causing more happy squeals and jiggles.  âJeg elsker dig sĂ„ meget,â he whispered.  âJeg elsker dig sĂ„ meget, Helena.â  [[ I love you so much.  I love you so much, Helena. ]]
His phone began to ring beside him, a series of vibrations that rumbled against the carpet. Â He wanted to ignore it, but when he looked over to see who it was, Morganâs name was flashing across the screen. Â He decided to pick up. Â âHey Mo.â
âHey,â Morganâs cheery voice greeted him on the other end. Â âWhatâs up big guy?â
âOh, you know, just eating Helenaâs toes.â
He could hear Morgan chuckle and Bee gasp in the background. Â âOh my God Fred that is the cutest thing Iâve ever heard!â she exclaimed. Â Fred couldnât help but giggle at her reaction. Â Anything to do with babies and anything to do with Helena, Bee was all over. Â He wished Morgan would just propose already so they could get married and start having babies, though at the same time, he understood why Morgan hadnât yet. Â Heâd explained his decision â wanting Bee to reach all her goals and live her life first before they got engaged. Â Fred understood. Â Bee deserved that.
âBee and I are going to the grocery store. Â Do you need us to pick you up some more formula?â he asked.
He couldnât help but smile at their generosity. Â âNo no, thatâs okay. Â We went out the other day and just picked some up.â
âWe?â
âMe and Helena.â
âAleida didnât come?â
âNo. Â She uh, she was in bed.â
There was a slight pause from Morgan.  âListenâŠI heard theyâre gonna send out the announcement tomorrow,â he said, finally finding the right words.  âYouâre making the right choice, bud.  I mean, there isnât even a choice.  Thereâs no question.â
âI know, Mo,â Fred nodded his head, staring down at his daughter.
âYou have to do right by Aleida, but more than that, right by Helena,â Morgan said. Â âI support you in this. Â I mean we all do.â
âI know this is probably a mute question, but would Aleida like any visitors?â Bee asked.
Fred furrowed his brows. Â He considered it, because on any other occasion Aleida would have loved to see Bee, but this was not just âany other occasionâ. Â Fred didnât think Aleida would appreciate Bee showing up when she practically couldnât get out of her bed. Â âI know you mean well, Bee, but I donât think so. Â At least not yet.â
âWell how about you?â she followed up. Â âWould you like a visitor? Â Or at least some company next time you bring Helena out?â
He couldnât help but smile. Â âYeah. Â That would be nice.â
***
@DarrenDreger: Toronto Maple Leafs announcing officially today that Frederik Andersen is taking a personal leave of absence. Â The organization is not giving specific reasons why Andersen has requested the personal leave, saying he deserves privacy. Â No date for a return, either.
@DarrenDreger: They say they are unequivocal in their support of Andersen and will provide him with whatever resources he needs. Â It is worthy to note that Andersen and his wife welcomed a baby in May.
***
âI want to sue him for every fucking penny heâs worth,â Fred roared into the phone. Â Helena was napping in her crib upstairs, as was Aleida. Â There was no way she could find out about this. Â Fred was ready to explode. Â He was ready to march down to every media personnelâs office and beat the shit out of them for releasing the information. Â âHim and the entire channel. Â Sue them. Â Sue tham all. Â How dare he word it like that. Â How dare he.â
âFred, weâll handle it, itâs okay,â Kyle Dubas assured him over the phone. Â âWeâre on it as we speak. Â Weâre in contact with everyone we need to be in contact with to get this retracted.â
âIt better be retracted by the end of the night and he better issue a personal and public apology or else I swear to God Kyle Iâll fucking explode.â
***
@DarrenDreger: Â I want to offer my sincerest apologies for my tweets yesterday about the Frederik Andersen situation. Â It has come to my attention that Frederik and his wife Aleida never announced the birth of their child in order to keep it private and out of the media, and for that I sincerely apologize.
@DarrenDreger: Â It has also come to my attention that the way I worded my third tweet was extremely callous and insensitive. Â I did not mean to insinuate anything about Andersenâs child and create any undue stress or harm to the Andersen family. Â
@DarrenDreger: Â I absolutely never wanted to put the childâs health in question or put blame on the child being the reason why Andersen is taking his leave. Â Again, I sincerely apologize to Frederik Andersen and Aleida Casillas-Andersen for the tweet.
***
Fred always liked the nighttime best. Â When everything was quiet. Â When the city was quiet, especially. Â When heâd be in Helenaâs nursery alone with her, cradling her as he fed her her last bottle, singing or humming to her quietly until she fell asleep against his chest, after which heâd delicately lay her in her crib and watch her for what felt like hours until heâd finally move to turn on the baby monitor, turn off the lights, and go to his own bedroom. Â
Tonight, Aleida was actually awake. Â He saw her eyes open even though she was curled up in the fetal position underneath the covers, and he was grateful. Â Grateful that he would able to get this moment with her, however short or long.Â
He took off his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers as he slipped underneath the covers beside his wife. Â âAleida?â he asked softly.
âHi Fred.â
He was grateful. Â So grateful she responded. Â âWanna look at me?â
There were a few moments of hesitation before Aleida rolled over onto her back. Â Fred laid on his side, propping himself up on one of his elbows. Â When they finally made eye contact, he sent her a soft smile. Â
âHey,â she said meekly.
âCan I touch you?â he asked, and she hesitated again before nodding her head. Â His hand found its way underneath her t-shirt and onto her stomach. Â His hands had been on the baby bump often while Aleida was pregnant, so it was no wonder at least one of them was there now. Â He began rubbing comforting circles onto the newly, now-flattened-again skin. Â He hoped Aleida felt it. Â âHow are you feeling today?â
Aleida shrugged her shoulders. Â âIâm the same, I guess.â
âHow is talking with Doctor Wong going?â he asked, mentioning the psychiatrist Aleida had been seeing for her postpartum depression. Â
âItâs good.  I like her.  She understands how much I want to get better,â Aleida began.  âShe uhâŠshe wants me to go on anti-depressants.  She says it will help a lot with the depression, and itâll help me startâŠyou knowâŠrecovering.  Because they take several weeks to start to kick in.â
âDo you want to do that?â
Aleida started nodding her head before he even finished asking his question.  âYes.  Yes.  Anything to help meâŠhelp me feel something again.  Help me become the mom I know I can be to Helena.  To help you.  YouâŠâ her voice began to crack, âyou donât deserve any of this.  Youâve basically been a single parent for months and youâve had to give up your career and itâs not fair to youââ
âHeeeey hey hey, shhhhhhh shhhhhh,â he began shaking his head. Â âAleida, itâs not about that. Â Itâs not about thatââ
âYes it is about that,â she cut him off, tears falling down her cheeks now.  âIt is about that, Freddie.  Iâm trapped in my own body and mind.  I know I want to get better for Helena, for you and your career, butâŠbut Iâm in this warâŠâ she began to breathe heavily. Â
âShhhhhh, itâs okay,â Fred wrapped his arms around her and held her, trying to calm her down. Â âAleida, this is not your fault. Â This is not your fault. Â I know itâs hard but youâre going to get through it.â
âIâm never going to get these months back,â she cried as she looked up at him.  âThatâs whatâs killing me the most.  Iâm neverâŠIâm the worst motherââ
âNo, Aleidaââ
âI couldnât help my baby. Â I couldnât even get her to stop cryingââ
âAleidaââ
âAnd when I held her I felt nothing. Â What mother holds their newborn daughter and feels nothing?!â
âAleida, pleaseââ
âI know I love my baby but I canât love herââ
âStop it, Aleida. Â Please stop doing this to yourself,â he urged, squeezing her against his body as she cried into his chest. Â âYouâre a great mother, Aleida. Â I know you will be a great mother.â
She cried for a long time. Â A very long time. Â But Fred held her the entire time, gave her kisses on top of her head, whispered reassurances in her ear, not knowing if it would even help. Â Despite his own fatigue, despite the wear and tear on his own well-being, he knew he had to be there for his wife. Â There was no other option. Â If this was going to be another night where Aleida would cry herself to sleep and he would only get maybe an hour of sleep in before Helena woke up again, then so be it. Â That was the way it would have to be. Â
As her cries became lighter, Fred gave her another kiss on her forehead. Â âI love you, Aleida.â
âDo you?â she sniffled meekly. Â âStill?â
Fredâs heart shattered in a million pieces at her question â at the tone of it, the wording, everything. Â âOf course I do. Â Nothing could ever make me stop loving you.â
âNot even being unable to take care of our baby?â
Fred shook his head. Â âNothing,â he said definitively. Â âI love you.â
Aleida fell asleep in Fredâs arms that night, the sound of his heartbeat bringing her the smallest bit of solace. Â
***
âLook sweetpea, thereâs Morgan, one of daddyâs best friends,â Frederik spoke to his daughter as she lay against his chest, with Fred lying down on the couch while watching the Leaf game. Â The boys were in town, playing against the Tampa Bay Lightning. Â They were currently up 2-0 in the second period. Â âHe helps make sure pucks donât get to daddy. Â Oh and look, thereâs Auston, another one of daddyâs best friends. Â He scores a lot of goals.â
Helena squealed happily, wiggling around slightly in his arms. Â He craned his neck to give her a big kiss on her chubby cheeks. Â âYouâll go to a game one day too â donât worry. Â When mommy wants you to go. Â Maybe when itâs closed and when nobody is there but the team.â
âBrrrbbbaaaa!â
âYes! Â And youâll wear your little Andersen jersey, and youâll look even more adorable than you do now, and everybody will swoon over you like I do every day!â
âBrrrbamamamama!â
âYes sweetpea! Â Mama will be there. Â Mama will always be there.â
âMamamama.â
âYeeeees, mama. Â Mommy loves you so much.â
âFred?â
Fredâs eyes widened at the sound of Aleidaâs voice. Â He grabbed onto Helenaâs chubby body before rising from his position on the couch. Â He looked behind him to see Aleida standing in the doorway in a pair of his pajamas â well, one of his old t-shirts that draped over her body like a dress, and a pair of shorts. Â To say that he was shocked to see her down here, now, was an understatement. Â Heâd assumed she wouldnât come down the whole night. Â âHey baby,â he greeted her. Â
âYou guys watching the game?â she asked, nodding slightly towards the television. Â
Fred didnât take his eyes off of her. Â âYeah. Â Just showing her the boys.â
âCanâŠâ she started, very clearly nervous.  She started picking at her nails.  âCan I watch too?â
âWhâof course,â Fred said, standing up immediately to extend an arm for Aleida to come over. Â âCome on. Â Come over here. Â Weâre up 2-0.â
âOh. Â Good.â
They sat beside each other on the couch, close, so that their thighs were touching. Â Fred still held Helena in his arm. Â âAre they playing well?â
âVery.â
Aleida focused on the TV momentarily.  âGood.â  She settled in more, though Fred could tell she wasnât completely comfortable.  He adjusted Helena in his arms so she was sitting on his lap, facing the TV.  He could see Aleida watching, secretly.  Helena would babble every so often, and try to look back at her parents.  After several minutes of âwatching the gameâ, Aleida finally spoke up.  âFâŠFred?â
âYes?â
âCanâŠâ she was obviously apprehensive, obviously very scared.  âDo you think I can hold Helena?â
Fredâs heart softened. Â âAleida, you donât have to ask to hold your own daughter,â he said.
âI knowâŠbut, but sheâs being so good, and youâre so good with herâŠsheâs not used to meââ
âHere,â he said, readying for the transfer. Â Aleida extended her arms and hands, and held onto Helena gingerly. Â âShe likes close contact. Â You can put her on your knee and like, against your chest if you want.â
âWill she be okay?â
âSheâll be great,â Fred nodded his head, trying to give Aleida some confidence. Â He watched as she sat Helena in the position Fred recommended. Â Once satisfied with the transfer, Helena let out a happy squeal. Â Aleida let out a little relieved laugh at the sound. Â Fred smiled.
âWhen â when does she take her bottle before bed?â Aleida asked.
Fred looked at his watch quickly. Â âI start prepping the bottle in about five minutes.â
Aleida nodded her head in understanding.  âCan IâŠI mean,â she paused, thinking about the words she wanted to say, âI want to feed her.â
âYou can do that,â Fred smiled. Â âSheâd love that.â
Five minutes later, Fred disappeared into the kitchen to mix the formula and warm up the bottle.  When he returned to the couch, Aleida was smiling down at Helena, who was happily gurgling and looking up at her mom.  When Fred sat down beside them, he took the initiative to cuddle up to Aleida, and was so relieved when she let him.  He handed her the bottle.  âLean her back in your armsâŠcradle her until sheâs comfortable,â he instructed gently.  âShe likes to beâŠlikeâŠcradled.â
Aleida moved Helena, holding her in one arm and cradling her as Fred handed her the bottle. Â Aleida brought it to Helenaâs mouth, and she took it immediately. Â Aleida let out another sigh of relief. Â She looked down at Helena the entire time; Helena looked at her the entire time. Â And when Helena was ready to be burped, Fred placed the towel on Aleidaâs shoulder and showed her how. Â Aleida pat her back â Helena even spit up a little, which caused both Fred and Aleida to giggle â before the coveted burp escaped her. Â Like clockwork, Helena fell asleep soon after.
They climbed up the stairs. Â As Aleida placed a sleeping Helena into her crib, Fred was there, watching. Â Aleida gently patted her hair and ran her finger along Helenaâs chubby cheek. Â Fred stood with her, wrapping an arm around her as she continued to look down at her daughter. Â He could see a few tears fall.
âYou alright?â
Aleida nodded her head. Â She looked up at Fred, finally. Â âThat was nice,â she whispered, choking back on her tears. Â âThat was all so nice.â
Fred engulfed her in a hug.
***
âFred, how do you say, âYouâre the sweetest, most precious girl in all the land and Iâm going to buy you all the books you ever want for the rest of your lifeâ in Danish?â
âDu er den sĂžde, mest dyrebare pige i hele landet, og jeg vil kĂžbe dig alle de bĂžger, du nogensinde har lyst til resten af dit liv,â he said from the stove. Â
âBlah blah blah blah hygge hygge books,â Bee babbled to Helena who was relaxing in her baby rocker set on the kitchen counter. Â
Morgan and Aleida laughed from the kitchen table as Morgan set it. Â Fred, having just finished with frying the bacon, turned off the stove. Â âDo you mind grabbing the bacon so I can take her, actually? Â Iâve got her bottle ready right here andââ
âIâve got her,â Aleidaâs voice popped up as she made her way out of her seat and towards the island. Â
Fred looked over his shoulder. Â âYou sure?â he asked. Â Morgan and Bee knew better than to intervene. Â
âYeah, of course,â she said, her voice upbeat as she took Helena in her arms and the bottle from Fred. Â âLetâs eat before the bacon and milk get cold.â
Everybody settled into their seats, grabbing their portions of the scrambled eggs, bacon, and fruit salad that was prepared. Â Aleida held Helena on her lap while feeding her from the bottle from the same hand. Â Fred couldnât help but smile. Â She picked up her fork with her other hand and began eating her breakfast. Â âSo do you guys have to go on a road trip soon?â Aleida asked Morgan as she put some strawberries into her mouth. Â
âThis Thursday weâre leaving for Chicago,â Morgan said. Â âItâs a quick one. Â Wonât be too bad.â
âWell, hereâs hoping Fred will be able to join you guys on some upcoming ones in the near future,â Aleida said.
Morgan almost dropped his fork.  He furrowed his brows as he looked between Fred and Aleida; Bee doing the same.  âWaitâŠwhat?â
âWellâŠâ Aleida said, taking a deep breath.  âNothing is set in stone yet, but umâŠâ she looked over to Fred, who was already reaching out to grab her hand across the table.  âMy anti-depressants are working wonders.  With the therapy and the daily meditation and yoga and you know, just the entire program Iâve been doing, Iâve been feeling so much betterâŠâ
âAleida, thatâs amazing,â Bee said, sensing Aleida needed a moment to collect her thoughts and emotions. Â
âBut you know there doesnât have to be a timeline on this,â Morgan added. Â
âI know, I know,â she nodded her head knowingly.  âI mean, itâs only October.  Iâm not saying heâs going to come back next week.  He would never do that,â she laughed slightly, looking towards her husband.  âBut weâŠwith the new positivity, and umâŠwell, we think weâre going to hire a nanny â at the least a night nanny, but maybe full-time â to help with the transition until I feel confident on my ownâŠâ
âAleida is just feeling more confident now that sheâs feeling better,â Fred picked up where she left off. Â âItâs going to be a while still â we know that â but itâs steps in the right direction. Â In the direction she wants to go in, and that will benefit the family.â
âWell, thatâs a cause for celebration then!â Bee said cheerily, holding up her glass of orange juice.  âToâŠtoâŠâ she tried to think of a good salute.
âTo me feeling better,â Aleida announced.
Morgan nodded his head. Â âTo Aleida feeling better.â
When breakfast was over and Fred and Morgan were cleaning up, Aleida and Bee took Helena upstairs to change her diaper. Â Bee watched on as Aleida did so, keeping Helena occupied by making funny faces at her. Â
âAre you religious?â Aleida asked once she was finished buttoning up Helenaâs outfit.
âNot particularly. Â Why?â
Aleida took a deep breath. Â âFredâs been telling me about everything youâve done. Â What everyoneâs been doing to help, really. Â But you. Â How you always wanted to visit me, how youâd come do laundry or pick up formula or diapers andââ
âAleida, it was honestly nothââ
âNo, stop,â Aleida interrupted. Â Bee stayed silent, although she wanted to wipe the ashamed look off of Aleidaâs face forever. Â âYouâre an angel on Earth, Bee. Â I donât know how Iâm ever going to repay you.â
âYou never have to,â Bee said. Â Aleida lowered her head. Â âListen, Iâve told you about my past. Â You know that just a few months into my relationship with Morgan, someone broke into my apartment and stole all my stuff. Â The way my new friends rallied around me dumbfounded me. Â I wasnât used to people helping me ever in my life. Â But from that time forward I promised myself that if I was ever in a position lucky enough where I was able to give back like that, I wouldnât hesitate,â she explained. Â âYou didnât need my help monetarily, but you needed it on other ways. Â I was prepared to do whatever it took to help. Â Because I love you and Fred and Helena, and because you guys are my friends. Â Simple as that.â
Aleida nodded, a few tears streaming down her face.  âI justâŠI want you to know how much I appreciate it.  Really.  Because I couldnât be a mom for the longest time.â
âI know you do,â Bee said gently, rubbing her back. Â
Aleida wiped away her tears quickly. Â She chuckled slightly. Â âIâm gonna buy you a bottle of Dom, Bee.â
Bee chuckled along. Â âAs long as we crack it open together.â
***
@TSNBobMcKenzie: BREAKING: New Year, new news: The Toronto Maple Leafs are in talks to activate Frederik Andersen from IR. Â Andersen did not start the season with the club due to his personal leave of absence, which was supported by the organization. Â More to come.
@TSNBobMcKenzie: Just rumours right now. Â Nothing confirmed. Â Club says call will be made by Andersen whenever he is ready. Â There is absolutely no pressure for him to return.
***
***
@TSNBobMcKenzie: BREAKING: Toronto Maple Leafs move to activate Frederik Andersen off injured reserve. Â
@TSNBobMcKenzie: Rumour is that Andersen may start in net as early as the first game back from the All-Star Break. Â Brendan Shanahan, Kyle Dubas, and Frederik Andersen to speak to media at 11am. Â Tune into TSN for live coverage.
@TSNBobMcKenzie: Â I can hear Leaf fans screaming from my desk. Â Oh, happy days.
***
âFreddie, youâve officially announced your return to the club. Â We think everyone saw the Instagram post, but would you care to elaborate at all about your personal leave, perhaps for the fans who have been waiting?â a reporter asked.
Fred cocked his neck to the side a bit. Â âI mean, I thought the post was a pretty obvious answer to where Iâve been,â he began. Â âI was busy being a father to my daughter. Â There are things that take precedent over hockey. Â My daughter being one of them. Â I do not regret my decision and I never, ever will, but in saying that, I am excited to be back with the club, and Iâm excited to play again, thatâs for sure.â
âI think Fred became a role model for a lot of the guys in this room, as if he wasnât already,â Brendan Shanahan spoke up.  âLike he said, there are things that take precedent over hockey â children areâŠtheyâre at the top of that list.  Fred took the time off he needed to take to ensure that his daughter was healthy.  The boys in the room supported him, and we at the top supported him wholeheartedly.  Weâre happy to see him back.â
***
âHelena! Â Helena! Â Come to mama!â
âMamaâŠmama,â Helena spoke as Fred picked her up and balanced her on her feet again, balancing her by the tip of her hands. Â
âGo to mama, Helena. Â Go to mama,â he said close to her ear as he released her delicately. Â
Helena took a shaky step forward, though she kept her balance, putting her other foot forward. Â She kept balancing without Fredâs help, causing Fred to smile. Â He could hear âCome on Helena!â being repeated from Aleida over and over again. Â When Helena made eye contact with her mom, she smiled and began walking towards her. Â After a few more wobbly steps, Helena finally reached Aleida, who engulfed Helena in a huge hug. Â Both Fred and Aleida started cheering like sheâd just finished a marathon. Â Aleida started peppering her with kisses, and Fred rose from his spot and moved over to join in on the kissing.
âMama loves you Helena,â Aleida would say in between kisses. Â âMama loves you so much.â
âMama,â Helena said back with a giggle in her voice from all the kisses. Â She looked over at Fred, who loomed over Aleidaâs shoulder. Â âDada.â
âFar elsker dig ogsĂ„, Helena.â
#frederik andersen#frederik andersen imagine#frederik andersen fic#frederik andersen fan fic#toronto maple leafs#toronto maple leafs imagine#toronto maple leafs fic#toronto maple leafs fan fic#freddie andersen#freddie andersen imagine#freddie andersen fic#freddie andersen fan fic#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl fan fic#hockey#hockey imagine#hockey fic#hockey fan fic#the storm before the calm series
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My top 5 k-pop groups, boy group edition:
1- Super Junior. My first kpop boy group ever, I started stanning them exactly 10 years ago. I havenât been up with their latest releases because life happens and by life I mean other groups to stan, but theyâre like comfort food by this point, and their fandom also have become like old friends to me, even if I meet a new ELF it feels like we used to go to middle school together or something. Itâs such a happy nostalgic sort of feeling that I have with them, that thatâs why theyâre still my number 1 đ
2- BTS, yo I WAS THEEEERE when they debuted, I am an early ARMY, Iâve been through a LOT with them and their whole discography just feels so integral to my life now, if I ever get to know them personally I will probably just break down and cry and thank them for growing up with me (the fact that theyâre about my age only drives the point home) and making my life easier to deal with
3- Stray Kids is currently the group that Iâve been stanning for the past 6 months, and Iâll admit I like their newer releases more than all that EDM stuff they had going on before the pandemic, it just sounds so alien to me, I was introduced to SKZ with âGodâs Menuâ, âBack Doorâ and âThunderousâ and everything from before this sounds soâŠtame đ¶
4- Big Bang - Iâd like to say that their discography is impeccable and immaculate HOWEVER due to past scandals revolving the youngest Iâm a bit effy when listening to certain songs⊠I honestly feel really sorry for the other members for everything that has happened to the groupâs reputation. But alas all the members also have hella solid solo releases that we can enjoy without having to think about The Scumbag
5- SHINee - Iâm going to get real emotional now, they were my teenagehood, specially Kim Jonghyun. He was my everything, my universe, my idol, my muse, I admired him a lot. And the moment I turned 20 and entered college, tragedy strikes, and heâs gone. My teenagehood was gone. It was such a hard and cold bang into adulthood, specially for me, who also suffered from depression at the time. I havenât been able to listen to them again ever since, but SHINee will always be a band that Iâll hold dearly to my heart.
I'm so happy to meet a fan of Super Junior, Big Bang and SHINee here!
Honestly, Big Bang, SHINee, EXO and BTS were the ones dragging me kicking and screaming down the k-pop rabbit hole in the first place. The homely and family like feeling you have with Super Junior, I have with their younger brothers EXO. They have a certain place in my heart and life even when I adopted many many more groups over the years.
I sort of detached from BTS, though. I don't know. Their music somewhat changed the vibe after Blood, Sweat and Tears and I lost the initial interest. I still check upon them once in a while to stay in the loop but the fandom felt too dramatic for my taste so I simply withdrawn.
The Big Bang issues were rather hurtful as I truly loved their music and I even really liked the maknae's solo album, musically it was really appealing to me and I feel sorry for not being able to listen to it anymore. I stay in touch with what goes on with the members and I was genuinely happy for the last interview T.O.P gave to the magazine and it was a relief to read that he's doing well and has many projects he attends.
As for SHINee, it was a real unfortunate year. Only few days after Jonghyun's death, my grandfather died. However I think I was more devastated by Jonghyun, to be honest. His voice was so special. It was a real tragedy. I couldn't listen to any SHINee song for a long time but then I felt sorry for the other members, thinking it's sort of insensitive to ignore them, when they were also hurt and if they could overcome the grief and continue with their job, I could listen to their music. I started with listening to the Taemin solo albums and worked my way back to be able to listen to all SHINee songs now. Except for Jonghyun's solos. I still can't make myself to listen to those. It will take a while, I guess.
Anyway! I'm so glad you shared your TOP 5 and experience. It's pleasure to meet you here. đ Let me know if you had any requests regarding SuJu or Big Bang or any other group you like. My request box is full of Enhypen (which I don't even know), Ateez and Stray Kids and it's a pity when there are so many great groups and solo artists out there. đ
Kleo
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