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give-seconds · 3 years ago

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Sweet Lies

Summary: Sungchan wants to tell you something but is scared to do it face to face. So, he decides to write you letters telling you everything he wants to say.

Paring: Sungchan x female reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: cheating

Word count: 2.3K

---

Hi y/n,

I don’t know if you’re ever going to get these. I mean, as of right now, my intention isn’t to give you them. I guess these letters, like the reason they even exist, are for me. Through these letters, I hope to tell you everything I wish I had the guts to say to your face. I wish I could say this was all a mistake and that I could man up and beg for your forgiveness. But it isn’t a mistake. This is a conscious decision I made once and am continuing to make again.

Maybe you’ll even forgive me.

Love,

Sungchan

----

Good morning y/n,

You were gone when I woke up this morning. You wrote me this cute little note about how you had some special surprise planned for me today. I’m sorry, I’ll have to cancel. I already have plans today. I already know what I’ll say to you. I’ll say something about how my work assigned me to a special project and that I have to work late to help design the framework or something like that. Really though, it’s her birthday today, and I promised I’d spend it with her.

I wish I hated myself enough to stop.

Love,

Sungchan.

---

Hi y/n,

It’s kind of funny, actually. Today, you were telling me about a song you found that “is making its way” to becoming your favorite song. It’s a song from the cheater’s point of view. After you played it for me, you said you didn’t know if you could ever forgive someone who cheated on you. That you should be enough for someone, and if the person you’re dating doesn’t realize that, then they’re not someone you would miss.

After that, I was so stressed, I called her as soon as I got home. Her voice is the only thing that can calm me down when things like this happen between me and you.

I’m sorry,

Sungchan

—

Hi y/n,

Today the guilt I felt was too heavy. I called into work sick and spent the day stuffing everything you’ve ever given me into a box. It was too loud. One of the last things I put into the box was our undergrad graduation photo. It’s only been two years since then, but we look so young. Maybe it’s because I look at that photo and think how soon after that, we started our relationship. Back then, you were the only person I could see myself with.

Five months ago, I met someone who made me feel like that again. Those feelings are still there for you—I hope you never think I lost them. I just found someone who holds an equal part in my heart as you do.

Know I love you,

Sungchan

—-

My Dearest,

You showed up at our front door crying. Judging from the frantic knocks on my door from Jungwoo, you scared him pretty bad. Not many can scare Jungwoo like that; he must really like you.

Anyways, after a cup of hot chocolate, you told me what was wrong. You said your dad had another kid with another woman and that he’d never told you about it. That when you were young, he used to have “conference meetings” with the other higher-ups that lasted a few days.

He was really visiting his other family. Your mom even knew about it; you were the only one who didn’t know. You said that you’ve never been hurt by a lie before. While drying your eyes, you decided lies were the worst thing. That from here on out, you are going to live as honestly as you could. You then asked me if I was hiding anything from you and begged me to tell you if I was. “I can’t handle any more secrets, Sungchan. So if you have anything you’re hiding from me, please, please just tell me. I need to get it all over with now.”

I almost cried when you said that, and I’m thankful you couldn’t hear the lie in my voice when I said I wasn’t keeping anything from you. There have only been a few times the bracelet she’s given me felt like it was burning my skin. At that moment, when you begged me to tell you anything I was hiding, it felt like my wrist was on fire. As soon as you left, I practically ripped it off.

I love you, and I’m so sorry,

Sungchan

---

Hey love,

I was looking through these letters today before I went to bed (I’m writing this one as a spur-of-the-moment thing before I go to sleep), and I realized I’ve only been writing about how I hate what I’m doing. And while that is true, I don’t want you thinking that’s the only emotion I feel. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I don’t deserve to be anything close to the good guy. With that being said, I owe you the truth. But if hearing me talk about my relationship with her is too painful, I suggest skipping this letter.

I met her about six months ago at a flower shop. It’s the shop I bought the flowers I got you for your birthday. She helped me pick them out. Now I don’t know what came over me, but when she asked me who I was getting flowers for, I told her they were for my mom. Before I left, she gave me her number. I almost threw it away, but right before I let go, something stopped me.

I felt something for her, and I still do. It felt like what I felt for you when I first started realizing I liked you. The immediate feeling of comfort that comes when I hear her voice, the blinding smile, the beautiful personality. It was all the same as when I met you.

I’m not trying to say she’s you; she’s more emotional when it comes to watching movies (I still want to find one that’ll make you cry, I know there’s one out there), and she’s a bit more hyper than you are. But the point I want to make is, the things I feel for you, I feel for her. I don’t know how much that’ll mean to you when (if) you read these, but know I feel so much for you. You were the light of my college years, and you continue to brighten my day.

But so does she. She knows things I don’t and can open my mind to a whole new world. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and it’s frankly amazing.

I’m trying hard not to talk too much about her in this—I don’t want you to think she’s better than you. I just want you to understand that no matter how many times I talk about how much I hate myself or the guilt I feel, I continue to tell you and her lies. As long as I have you two by my side, I’ll continue telling lies.

You both mean so much to me,

Sungchan.

---

Hey y/n,

This letter will be pretty short; I just wanted to tell you what a good day it was today. We spent the whole day together, which always feels therapeutic. I bought us lunch, we went go-carting (I beat you because you were too scared to go fast, it was great), and we looked around at different shops before we went back to my apartment to have dinner with Jungwoo.

It just feels right being with you, and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life. I think we’re a good fit, and so do you. It’s nice to be with someone who thinks so similarly to me, and I can’t get over how well we fit together. I mean, when you left, Jungwoo couldn’t stop talking about how lucky I am to have found someone who fits me so well.

I’m kind of rambling at this point, but I feel so much love for you right now that I wanted to put it down somewhere.

Thank you for being the person you are and loving me like I love you,

Sungchan

---

I’m so sorry,

I thought it was important I let you know right off the bat that I am sorry. Yesterday, I forgot about a date we arranged. We were out looking for a birthday present for her younger brother and got distracted looking at all the different shops. I never even heard the phone ring when you called. You called me five times before you texted and told me you were leaving. You had even tried to make a joke sending me a text that said: “at least we didn’t make reservations.”

Then today, I bought you flowers and told you that I was busy showing the intern around. That I had to do it on a Saturday because he’s from our office in Japan and takes Korean lessons on the weekdays. We do have an intern from our office in Japan here, but I’m not the one showing him around. You told me it was okay and that you understood, but I could tell you were still really hurt.

I feel like an idiot. I know cheating is bad, but I told myself that when I got into another relationship, I would never forget a date with either of you. That was the only standard I was trying to hold myself to, and I failed.

I’ll try harder to never forget a date again,

Sungchan

---

Hey y/n,

I think this is the last letter I’ll get to write to you. Well, I don’t think, I know.

You came to me today, asking what I was doing last night. I lied and told you I was at home watching TV. If there’s anything I will never forget about that conversation, it’s how you looked at me. You had smiled, nodding your head as you looked at me with teary eyes. You looked heartbroken.

When I tried to hug you and ask what was wrong, you shook your head no and backed away from me. Now that truly broke me. So I asked you what happened and you told me about how someone you knew saw me at the movie theater with a girl. You asked me to tell you who the girl was, and I begged you not to do this. I said that if you did this, it wouldn’t end well. That all the memories we had made together would be tainted.

You laughed and told me it wasn’t your fault the memories would be tainted; it was mine. You then asked me again to tell you who the girl was, and I told you what I had done.

I’m not sure when I started crying, and I’m still crying as I write you this letter. You were crying too as you told me we were over. I asked you to listen to me, and you just shook your head. As you walked to the door, you told me you would come by tomorrow to give me the stuff I keep at your house that I should pack up everything of yours. That’s how I’m going to give you these letters.

You also told me that if I’m still a decent person, I would tell the other girl about you. Believe me, after seeing your reaction I want to. But I can’t lose you both. Maybe soon, the guilt I feel when I look at her will make me strong enough to tell her.

Believe me, I know how selfish that is. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m so sorry, and I love you,

Sungchan

---

Sungchan,

I couldn’t even bring myself to say something like “hi” or “dear,” you’re not dear to me anymore. That’s not to say this doesn’t hurt; I still can’t believe you did this to me. I mean, I thought I knew who you were.

I’m not writing this to tell you it’s okay or that I understand you through these letters. I’m mostly writing this because I don’t think I can face you right now. Again, I will never understand how you could do this. I thought I knew you. We’ve known each other for four years, two of which we were dating, and I still can’t believe I don’t know who you are. So while I don’t blame myself for this, I can’t help but wonder. If I knew you better, would you have been able to lie to me for so long?

I hope you know you’re not the hero here. You wrote that one letter about how you didn’t think you deserved to be the good guy, but you wouldn’t be writing these letters if you didn’t think you were justified in some way. You were in no way a decent person, and I hope you remember that.

You also tried to say you loved me throughout your affair. If you loved me, we wouldn’t even be having whatever this is right now. If you loved me, you would have told me about her when I asked you to tell me if you were hiding anything. If you loved me, it would have been you who told me about your cheating and not a coworker. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? This lady who I only talk to on occasion now knows my boyfriend didn’t value me enough to be committed to our relationship. She only knew what you looked like because she happens to follow me on Instagram and saw all the photos of us I had posted. You don’t love me, and I hope you can stop lying to yourself.

And you’re right—you are being completely selfish by not telling her. So I decided I had to be the bigger person, once again, and tell her myself. I swallowed my pride and asked my coworker to look through your followers with me until she found the girl she saw you out with. I sent a message to her explaining the situation, and guess what? She believed me. You should be hearing from her soon—that is if you haven’t already.

Goodbye cheater,

Y/n

---

Thank you all for reading! I’ve been listening to Sweet Lies by EXO a lot lately, so I decided to write this. Thank you to @jiwvnie and @pastelsicheng for proofreading this for me!

I would love to know what you thought about this, and I hope you all have a great day/night!

Masterlist

#nct-writers #nct sungchan #sungchan x reader #jung sungchan #nct scenarios #nct imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #NCT

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mx-milo · 4 years ago

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Parlez-vous or something like that

[千紬/ChikaTsumu]

It's the end of Chikatsumu Week. I don't play A3! often, I'm not active in the fandom, I barely even write fanfics. But the power of these two have compelled me, and since AO3 won't be giving me an account until the next week, so it'll be here first.

Summary: "Chikage has never spoken a word of French before in his life, but that didn't stop him from helping out Tsumugi for one of his tutees. Hilarity ensues."

~~~

Chikage was a reliable source for guidance and knowledge for the students of the Mankai Company. Although there were a myriad of adults who have their own areas of expertise, it usually ended up with either him or Tsumugi, especially when it came to linguistic subjects: Classical Japanese, English, and the rare foreign language elective.

His sessions with Tenma or Taichi were a welcome break from whatever he had been doing on his PC for the last god knows how many hours. At least he could perceive the output of his hardwork with the wide smiles of a teenager who just finally understood why verbs didn't always end with -ed.

That's not to say, it wasn't challenging. Not especially when a curveball was thrown in his way. "Chikage-san, I was wondering if you could help me. A student asked me if I knew some French, and I said I'd do my best." Chikage wasn't much of baseball anyway. He'd rather play cricket.

He looked up at Tsumugi, removing his glasses and polishing them again in the process. "French? Well, I did spend a few months there for as liasion for my company. I learned how to speak so I could negotiate well for my superiors." He noticed Tsumugi was looking at him intently. It wasn't new for him, since it was like he was being psycho-analyzed by the master tutor whenever he spoke. Most times, he felt it was harmless, Tsumugi wouldn't even want to know where to begin with his psyche and conscience, but now felt different. He was concerned, even a little bit, that he might just call his bluff.

He lied after all. He barely knows the language. He didn't lie about the the time he spent there, but he was obviously being vague about being liasion, the higher-ups at the Organization, and the meaning of "negotiation." He didn't have time to see the sights and speak their tongue.

But it was not a big deal. It's not like it's too different from the other Latin languages, right? It's like Spanish but some of the letters are different, and they barely pronounce any of them. 'I may be a liar, but I make up for it by improvising.' he thought to himself, as he waiting for Tsumugi to respond.

"Could I ask you to visit me by the balcony later? We might be in for a long night."

Chikage let out a small smile, and gave a small nod. "That's a date then."

"Thank you, Chikage-san."

Tsumugi left briefly, sounding pleased at the prospect of extra help. For his part, Chikage couldn't help but shake his head. 'What have I gotten myself into?' He knew he had to brush up on his French, even if it was from the bare minimum on a Wikipedia page.

He usually wouldn't stick his head out for something as small as this, but this was Tsumugi he was talking about. Somehow the psych major has outwitted him in a battle of the minds. Or was it of the hearts?

Sometime ago, Chikage started calling their late-night trial-and-error teaching sessions "dates", partly because he thought it was funny to compare something so mundane to something romantic, and partly to watch Tsumugi blush whenever he said it. There was some satisfying about the way his cheeks would barely tinge red at the utterance of anything romantic, only for him to totally ignore it after.

'You can't escape me Tsukioka-san. I have tricks up my sleeve too.' he thought to himself, as he ambled through the halls of the Mankai Dorm. It was almost midnight, so the usually boisterous building only emanated a soft hum of energy.

'Of course, it wasn't for the sake of mischief.'

"Chikage-san, let's begin?"

"My pleasure, Tsumugi."

'There's always a reason for mischief after all.'

The specific lesson Tsumugi's student had was the worst one they could possibly deal with: conjugation. All Romance languages had their three, five, seven different verb endings depending on whether you were eating your bread now, ordering someone to eat it on Monday, or to have thrown it in the trash three days ago.

'And let's not get started with pronunciation.'

Everytime Tsumugi encountered a new word, he would run it through Translate to hear how it would be pronounced, and then ask Chikage if he said it correctly. All he'd do is nod and repeat it best he can, then Tsumugi would again, and they'd just accept that was the best they could do.

"Par-lez vu? Wait. No. That isn't it."

"It's like 'par-ley vu'. Parlez-vous, or something like that."

"'Per-ley vu?'"

"I guess that's close enough for someone born in Japan."

Tsumugi snickered at his comment. Chikage could only look on and wonder what he was thinking. His head was tilted ever so slightly, his green locks swaying in the light midsummer night breeze, while his rounded glasses were slightly askew on his nose.

"You know, some of the best theater was written in French. It wouldn't hurt for me to learn in case Tsuzuru sets one of our plays in France."

Chikage looked down and sighed with a smile on his face. "Even when we're suffering with a foreign language, you're still a strong theater nerd, aren't you?"

Tsumugi, sitting inches away from him, lightly pushed Chikage's arm with his in jest. "You know theater nerd is a compliment, right?"

"Tsuzuru told me that once. But you're all the same, so hyperfocused and passionate."

"Well, you're one of us now, so I guess that applies to you too."

Chikage raise his hands in fake shock, exaggerating his movements. "Oh no, I've become what I feared the most. A nerd" he said in an almost mocking tone.

Tsumugi couldn't help but burst out in laughter as he tried stopping Chikage, who started spouting out Shakespeare, eerily like Arisugawa would. "Stop, stop, I get it already." At this point he already took his arm, since he started mimeing holding a skull like Hamlet.

"You're going for so much trouble for this. Why'd you take up your student's elective anyway?" Chikage wouldn't dare notice how Tsumugi's arm was linked on his.

Tsumugi shrugged. "I just thought it would help me brush up on a foreign language for a change. I knew I could rely on you anyway." It was at that moment he realized how close they've gotten.

That didn't stop him from unlinking their arms. That didn't stop Chikage from just gawking at the situation. That didn't stop Tsumugi from blushing at the thought of what was happening.

"Ah, Chikage-san, our arms are..."

"I can see that."

Immediately, Tsumugi pulled back his arm back to his side and turned ever so slightly away. Chikage stayed where he was, still dumbfounded at what just happened. They let the air of tension hang for a few more moments before Tsumugi turned back and suggested they finally try dealing with the two different ways to say "be."

"'Av-awa?' 'Atu-ra?' Why does French have to be so hard?"

"I mean Japanese changes their endings, but never this much. It doesn't have to be."

'This doesn't have to be hard.' Chikage thought to himself in affirmation, but clearly for a different think entirely.

Tsumugi woke up after something bright shone into his eyes. After yawning and rubbing his eyes, he took a look at his phone, confusing the volume buttons for the locks. 'What time is it already?'

On his screen was a picture of Zabi, himself, and his grandmother, and a clock happily informing Tsumugi it's already quarter to six in the morning. He was promptly sent into a panic. He looked out the glass-paned door to the balcony and saw that the sun was already peeking through the horizon, the source of the enlightenment that stirred Tsumugi.

He looked around him and saw that the corridors were still empty, a sight uncommon to him, seeing as he was probably the latest to rise of all the people he knew. To his right however, one person was already awake, looking at him intently, though still plastered onto the couch cushion.

"Good morning, Tsumugi."

"Chikage-san, you're up too."

"Well, I was always a light sleeper, and you started squirming around maybe five, ten minutes ago."

Chikage wasn't wearing his glasses; it was on the coffee table along with Tsumugi's laptop and Homare's draft of a book full of his poems. Tsumugi always commented that without his glasses, he looked much more severe and mischievous, but also 'maybe more exposed and solemn.' Chikage laughed at the fact the last time he said it but now it was undoubtedly true, especially since he just woke up after sleeping beside him through the night.

'I just woke up beside him after sleeping through the night.' Chikage thought to himself at that very moment. Rarely would he ever lose his guard so much as to randomly fall asleep, and on Tsumugi's shoulder, no less. Luckily, he didn't wake up to see Chikage in that position, which would have been much worse for the both of them.

They were still wearing yesterday's clothes, the air around them smelled like both of their perfumes, and their area was a mess of strewn papers and uncapped pens. Yet, for all the apparent chaos, both of them were at peace in the moment, seated side-by-side. At their most vulnerable, yes, but they found no reason to take advantage of it, rather relish in each other's company. All the while Tsumugi had a light blush on his face, and so did Chikage. It was probably the gentle cold of a summer's morning, if not the residual warmth from their sharing sleep together.

"I'm lucky you're not a vampire, Chikage-san."

"Why do you say that?"

"You could've drawn blood from me and made me one of your kind." Tsumugi languidly pointed to his neck. Apparently, he surmised where Chikage fell asleep.

"Well, I were a vampire, I'd only have to fear you, wouldn't I?"

"Yes Chikage-san, I'd spike your curry with all the garlic I could possibly muster." Tsumugi smiled as widely as he could through the laziness much to Chikage's dismay.

He instantly fell back on Tsumugi's shoulder, taking the blue-haired tutor with him, and toppling onto the other side of the decrepit sofa. "Well then, I hope you won't do that to my food while I'm asleep."

"How can I do that when you're still on me then?"

Chikage yawned as he slowly moved from his shoulder, to his chest, and ultimately resting on his lap. "I can never be too sure."

Tsumugi rested a hand on Chikage's head, toying playfully with the stray strands of his hair before neatly setting it to the back of his head.. "If that's the case, bonne nuit, Chikage-san."

He slid his hands under Chikage's head and raised it as high as he can, to the point where they were within his reach to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Chikage returned in kind taking Tsumugi's hand and touching his lips on its somewhat calloused yet also milky soft back.

"Bonne nuit, cherie."

Elsewhere in the Mankai Dorms, Tsumugi could hear music playing from one of the rooms.

"Vampires never have to complain of living a dull circumstance."

It being a rock ballad, it was probably from one of the younger actors, probably Masumi-kun. The easy melody matched the beat of his heart and soon the rise and fall of his breath as he slowly fell back asleep.

"And it would be fine, to spend my whole life with you together."

"Parlez-vous, or something like that."

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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SPOILER-FREE REVIEW: Evangelion 3.0+1.0 is a Happy End to Evangelion

A note on safety: The following movie review undertook the strictest of safety procedures to watch the anime film in cinemas in Japan, including washing hands with disinfectant before and after, sitting in seats apart from others, going to a cinema outside of the busy metro area, and wearing a mask during the entire runtime of the movie. We strongly urge everyone to follow the recommended safety protocol in your country and always wear a mask when in public — not just for your sake, but everyone else’s as well.

In the spirit of the recent release of the latest (and final) Evangelion movie, we wish to talk about the momentous occasion in an honest, but respectful way for those outside of Japan who cannot see the movie yet. Here, you will find our totally spoiler-free review. Later, we will be posting a full spoiler-filled review for those who wish to read. Stay tuned!

If Evangelion: 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo is the tale of death, despair, and hopelessness, then Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is the antithesis of that. It’s easy to see why the films were originally supposed to be seen together. Like a melody, they complement each other, with 3.0+1.0 building on the threads 3.0 left hanging. Maybe that happens in another world, but after nine years of waiting for the final Evangelion film, it feels like those threads were twisted into something different; something much greater.

Originally slated to release in 2008, it’s been a long road to the final Evangelion film, at least now as we know it. What we would have gotten back then, or even in 2015, is not the film that we got today, and I think that largely has to do with the film’s creator Hideaki Anno.

Anno once said that the Rebuild of Evangelion films was an “aim to walk towards the future.” 3.0+1.0 embodies that immensely, not just story-wise and animation-wise, nor even as a reflection of the anime industry as a whole. Rather, it’s Anno’s reflection on the series, and what it means to him through the eyes of Shinji Ikari.

From the get-go, Evangelion 3.0+1.0 returns to the roots of what makes the franchise so eternal. We get to see the human aspect of Evangelion outside the headspace of Ikari, as well as see how humanity has survived through the near-apocalyptic events that frequent this universe.

All of it helps to ground the Rebuild films back from … whatever happened in Evangelion 3.0. As questions are answered, more questions arise, but that’s the nature of Evangelion. It isn’t Anno’s job to give all the answers; It’s his job to take the viewer for a ride, and with that, he delivers it in the most Evangelion way possible.

Know that if you’re a fan of Evangelion, the story and subsequent conclusion will be satisfying. Yeah, Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 goes pretty meta, as expected of a film that is inspired by the End of Evangelion, but there’s no tumbling down here.

One of the sorer points of the film is the animation. While not bad, in terms of how far Khara has gone with 3DCGI is congratulatory the quality of the 2D animation and post-processing doesn’t really build on what we’ve seen in the previous entries in the series. For better or worse, the 3.0+1.0 films keep the same animation aesthetic.

And remember that Evangelion 1.0 came out in 2007. The time span between 3.0+1.0 and 1.0 is longer than between End of Evangelion and 1.0.

While the quality of the 2D animation has roughly stayed the same, the level of detail in the animation movement is as meticulous as always. Using the preview as an example, as the crew tries to put the USB in the plug, they fumble, putting it the wrong way around before fixing their mistake. That level of thoughtful level detail of the character animation is littered throughout the film through both the high-action moments and the mundane.

There are a few scenes that use the CG elements Khara is best known for to create some beautiful sun-lit landscapes, complemented by beautiful backgrounds. While Khara doesn’t go for the full blend of CG and 2D, the CG has very much improved since 2012.

Though, does that really matter if 3.0+1.0 is the peak of visuals for the most optimum visual experience of the Evangelion franchise? The iconic visual language that Evangelion has built over the last two and half decades merged with the red aesthetic that populated the visuals in Evangelion 3.0 helps bring the Evangelion identity to its peak.

The movie’s storyboarding work continues to truly be a highlight. The magnificent mise-en-scène continues to elevate the franchise to be some of the best scene direction in anime. As the characters converse – or refuse to in some parts– the way they’re placed in the scene, along with the color, the camera angle, and whatever mild animation is occurring, comes through just in the character’s body language and tone.

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A preview of Hikaru Utada’s wonderful theme for Evangelion 3.0+1.0

I was lucky enough to watch the film in IMAX, and while the format didn’t help the animation look any better, the sound design was immensely heart-thumping, but not so loud that it drowned out the dialogue or music. From Mari taking on an “Angel” in Paris to the final sweeping shot, every sound effect reverberated through me as I took in what was happening.

One perfect example of this sounds design. There is one scene in which there are multiple conversations going on at once in multiple locations, in which the characters are melancholically processing what is happening around them during a rainstorm, much like a scene out of The Garden of Words. At no point did I miss a single piece of dialogue throughout the interactions, nor was I unable to hear any other sound effects or music. It was oddly calming for an Evangelion flick.

This brings me to the score of the film, once again composed by Shiro Sagisu. Evangelion is known for its great music (so much so that Anno “borrowed” it for Shin Godzilla) and is so recognizable that anyone in Japan knows the battle theme; that Timpani rhythmic beat is iconic.

Sagisu once again brings it home with some of the best pieces in Evangelion history. There are the usual tracks you will remember from past films, but some of them have been remixed and changed to suit what is trying to be conveyed. The music felt like it has evolved, taking inspiration from scores from the last decade in films like Mad Max: Fury Road. The sounds are distinctly Evangelion but just an evolved form.

One thing Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time makes certain, and something I couldn’t believe despite all the marketing messages is that this is Hideaki Anno’s true end of Evangelion. It may not be the last time we get an Evangelion-something, but this is the end of the franchise for Anno. The end, which brought a tear to my eye, perfectly encapsulated Anno’s feelings on the matter.

And for that, I thank him for pouring his heart and soul into the film, and I bid a big Bye-Bye, All of Evangelion.

And as promised, there was fanservice all the way to the end.

Evangelion 3.0+1.0 posters next to Demon Slayer (Photo: Daryl Harding)

There is much more to discuss with Anno’s final Evangelion film than what is written here. Shinji’s voice actor Megumi Ogata said that March 22 was the embargo on spoilers so stay tuned for our spoiler-filled review because we need to talk about that final part in the movie in some way.

Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is currently showing in theaters across Japan, there’s no word on an international release at this stage.

Daryl Harding is a Japan Correspondent for Crunchyroll News. He also runs a YouTube channel about Japan stuff called TheDoctorDazza, tweets at @DoctorDazza, and posts photos of his travels on Instagram.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: Daryl Harding

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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ship-ambrosia · 6 years ago

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Tagged by @katana-no-neko and @cobblepottantrum, thank you guys!! Haha

Nickname - Bree, Bri-Bri

Zodiac - Leo ♌️

Height - 5’4

Last movie I saw - Mary Poppins Returns, I think? That was back at christmas but I haven’t been to the theater since and I think everything I’ve watched since then has just been anime or Game of Thrones

Last thing I googled - Last night when my dad came to visit me I had to google where Panera was, or before that was Eden’s Zero

Fave musician - Generally Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, Panic!, but been on a very serious Starset kick rn

Song stuck in my head - The new fairy tail opening Down by Law

Other blogs - Nope, but me and my roomie have been talking about making a bnha one together

Do I get asks - Hardly, my tag is “Bree beggin for asks” and even then it’s generally the same few. WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH

Following - 651

Followers - 291 (we are SOOO close guys)

Amount of sleep - Anywhere from like 3 to 7, I’ve gotten better this semester because of early classes but not better enough

Lucky number - 24 seems to come up a lot for me, I don’t know if it’s exactly lucky though

What I’m wearing - Banana-yellow PLUS ULTRA shirt and my royal blue winter coat w/ snow boots because it snowed a lot last night. I also have a really cool plaid scarf that I get compliments on all the time

Dream job - I want to work in environmental public policy. Dream would be to go all the way up to the federal level

Dream trip - Japan or Alaska. Alaska is more likely. Also Seattle, Washington

Favorite food - Tacos or pizza. Also love Chinese food

Play any instruments - Flute my main, saxophone, cello my favorite

Languages - Just English with some Spanish I learned in high school but I’m much better at understanding other people than speaking Spanish myself. Also can write some Arabic, would love to learn more though and how to speak it. My uncle is from Lebanon and he taught me

Favorite songs - Natural, Imagine Dragons. Halo, and Point of No Return, Starset. Most Fall Out Boy and Panic! songs are my fave, but I’ll say The Phoenix for FOB and Roaring 20s for Panic!. Breath, Breaking Benjamin.

Random facts - I have a hermit crab named Jem, I can write backwards and upside down and it looks almost exactly like my normal handwriting, last week I fell off a bus and sprained my ankle

Bonus Aesthetics: Red, white, blue, and stars, lots of stars; neon; floral; lace; nerdy

#random post from bree #get to know bree #tag game #i love em #bnha #fairy tail

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gapimnydiaries · 7 years ago

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Diary Entry #21: White Gays are better Filmmakers: What I learned about inclusivity from being a Gaysian filmmaker

Dear Diary,

“The Less I know the Better” by Tame Impala was playing on Apple Music as a good friend consoled me. I was in a space no larger than a handicapped single-stalled restroom. There was just one tiny single bed, a small TV and what you’d call a closet (but wasn’t really). There weren’t any windows and the only source of light I had was a mood lamp I bought at Ace Hardware™ in a mall called Grand Indonesia in Jakarta. I remembered I was trying to play it cool when, in truth, I was crumbling on the inside.

Earlier in the day, I had a Skype call with television development executives from Los Angeles who initially hired us to write a “diverse and progressive” series. But after a series of drafts, we found out that, like most people in a place of privilege, they weren’t as woke as they thought they were. After whitewashing and slashing the storylines that explored the complexities of being a person of color in America, they wanted us to reduce the women characters to serve the interests of the straight, male protagonist. “It’s a post-racial Millennial world” they explained. To make matters worse, the entire call was filled with attempts to other-ize me, from asking what it’s like to live in a rural village in Singapore to pointing out that my iPhone text-tone -- “ding!” -- was some kind of Asian praying bell.

Afterwards, I really wanted to email them and write: this type of behavior is ignorant and unacceptable. But, considering that I really needed the job and I had a writing partner who told me to let it go because we didn’t want to be rude, I remained silent. The silence of course, was really painful because obviously, this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. In fact, it happens all the time. When people like me speak up about micro-aggressions or feeling left out, the people in power get angry and then I have to take care of their fragile feelings instead of validating my own. I’m always left feeling silenced, powerless and usually attacked for being “oversensitive.” The only thing I could do at the time was to call my friend and be temporarily consoled while listening to Tame Impala (Yes, I should’ve picked a better band for the occasion).

By this time, I had been alone in Indonesia (not Singapore) for 5 months. I was deep in pre-production on a short film called, Pria. During this time, I’d traveled across Java for months and interviewed countless gay Indonesians who either lived or had lived in rural areas. The film ended up being an amalgamation of their experiences told from their perspective, the perspective of the minority. So, within this context, the experience of that not-so-woke-ignorant phone call felt like such a step backwards, especially after being in Indonesia and realizing how ignorance of minority experiences can have such negative consequences. With these LA Execs, I met privileged people who wanted to promote and capitalize on the “global and diverse” world that “we live in right now,” but were so out of touch with the reality of what diversity really means that they ended up, perhaps unknowingly, becoming part of the problem.

◆◆◆

The author directs a scene on the set of Pria

Curious villagers watching the playback monitor during filming

The author and crew filming a scene in the morning

The author and producers stroll through the village “set”

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Out of all my intersectional identities, my “Asian-American-ness” has always been the hardest to fully embrace. I was born in Indonesia and moved to the US in elementary school. In Indonesia, I’m a minority because I don’t look Indonesian and I’m not Muslim. I’m mostly ethnically Chinese but none of my family members know any Chinese or anything about China. When I returned to Indonesia to do Pria, the locals there thought that I was from anywhere BUT Indonesia. When I came to the US for the first time, people were confused AF. They’d mock my accent and would always yell out “Ni Hau!” I’d try to correct them and tell them that I’m not Chinese, but that only confused the shit out of them. They would counter with the only two other Asian countries they’d heard of: Japan and Thailand (I mean really, if you wanna mock someone, get educated, people). There were definitely other FOB children at school, but most, if not all of them, were actually Chinese or Korean so they’d form their own communities out of their shared culture and language. Plus, the word FOB never felt like it applied to me; I came here on a plane, not a boat.

◆◆◆

(Far Right) The author with his siblings at a mall in 1996

◆◆◆

While I had such a confusing time trying to fit within the definition of Asian American, Gay was something that was always clear. That’s not to say that I didn’t have a hard time; like most queers, it was a process. But I always knew that I was gay and there was no question where I fit within that definition. So, when I started making “professional” short, queer films in 2011, I felt like I finally found a community that embraced me for me, for my work, and not the way I looked, or sounded, or how I presented myself. The LGBTQ film community has always supported me. Since I started, my shorts have been accepted to most LGBTQ film festivals domestically and internationally. But a troubling pattern began to emerge as I attended these festivals year after year. The majority of the films I saw were not diverse and mostly affirmed and celebrated the str8 white male ideal. There was always a lack of diversity, not only in the films, but also the filmmakers and organizers. I would always be one of the few (if not the only) minority filmmakers on the Q & A stage.

◆◆◆

The author attends a photocall at Frameline39: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival in 2015

The author at the Q&A for his short film, “Pipe Dream” at the Castro Theater, San Francisco (June 2015)

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This didn’t bother me at first, but after continually facing micro-aggressions at these LGBTQ festivals, in clubs, apps, and other Queer spaces, it started to really impact the way I saw myself and how I fit within the community. It already sucked enough having to deal with ignorant str8 people, but it’s much more hurtful when it comes from the community that you thought you were a part of. A community that promotes itself as being inclusive, a community that knows what invalidation feels like, and a community of film festivals run by, well, mostly people who identify as LGBTQ.

When I arrived at the centerpiece party for the 2017 Frameline: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival, the majority of the attendees were Gay White Men. I felt like I had just stumbled into an exclusive Mean Girls clique. It honestly felt like I was in a Gay club trying to scan for anyone with an interest in talking to an Asian. The way that everyone looked at me, just looking right through me, made me feel like I didn’t exist. When I told them about my short film from Indonesia, I was met with all sorts of assumptions. One sleazy, white producer from New York (who was trying to fuck an Australian actor all night) told me, “I’ve always wanted to go to Indonesia, it’s so exotic!” He then patted me on the back, “It must be so tough for the ladyboys there.” I guess even in a creative, inclusive, “safe” space like a Queer festival party, it’s as hierarchical as it would be in any other social Gay space, with whites taking the top spot. I wanted to think that this was an isolated incident because I’d been to this same exact party twice before and had a fantastic time. But, I slowly remembered, those other two times, I went with my white friends. There were, in fact, other incidents that occurred throughout the week including (but not limited to): being mistaken for another Asian on 3 different occasions and being grabbed in the ass by someone as I was leaving my Q & A (the latter could just be straight up sexual harassment and has nothing to do with race… but, in my experience, just looking like an “Asian Twink” in a Gay space usually gives other men the permission to violate our bodies...plus the Australians and Norwegian there didn’t get their asses grabbed).

◆◆◆

The author attends a photocall for the shorts program, “Worldly Affairs” at Frameline41: San Francisco LGBT Film Festival

The author during the Q&A session for “Pria” at the Castro Theater, San Francisco (June 2017)

◆◆◆

Of course, how can these white people understand wtf is going on with us “ethnic folk” if most of the films in these programs just affirm their str8-white privileged personhood ideal? There’s already a lack of Gaysians in the mainstream media and when we are ~lucky~ enough to make it on screen, we are only reduced to exotic stereotypical objects of desire or sexless, unattractive background players. If these are the only images shoved down everyone’s throat, it’s no wonder we’re always considered an Other…

Because these LGBTQ film festivals promote themselves as an inclusive safe space, this time, I decided to speak up. Surely, they would somehow understand. These organizers would know what it's like to grow up and not see (LGBTQ) characters like themselves on screen, or at least ones who weren’t child molesters, rapists, villains, creepy psychopathic old men or “sissies” serving as the butt of the joke that reduces their personhood to a minstrel show. They would understand what it would feel like to be erased, othered and/or misrepresented.

I sent out a mass email, Bcc-ing every LGBTQ festival that I’d been accepted to this year (and ones I was rejected from). In the email, I detailed how, when attending these Western festivals, I was always seen and treated as “other” because of my race. I told them how much their programming affects how LGBTQ POC are seen and treated within the general community. I tried to explain that by not including films like Pria, films from the other half of the world, in their LGBTQ Film Festivals, they are effectively erasing our stories and shutting us out. If there are minority films, we’re almost always grouped by race or by issue (why do white people only like us when we’re a cause to fight for? Even then, they want us to be a cause with hope). Are we not good enough to be part of the regular gay white programming? In times like these, programmers, the gatekeepers and privileged people in power have the responsibility to really examine what diversity means to them. Honest and complex representations of minorities are important (as well as minorities behind the scenes). This also means being strategic in programming these types of films. Not only do they determine how other people in the majority see and treat us, but they also shape the way we think and feel about ourselves.

The responses to the email were varied. “Seriously. Well-put,” said one LGBTQ festival. The rest refused to consider my point of view and instead resorted to belittling me and accusing me of being bitter for not having gained a spot in their program (like, honey, please. I sent the email to festivals that I DID get into too). But, to be honest, I am fucking bitter. These invalidating responses automatically reminded me of what happened in Indonesia a year before: that Skype call with the executives, and the many other times where I was either whitesplained and/or mansplained.

So yes. I’m absolutely bitter and I’m fucking angry.

How can I not be when I see these LGBTQ programmers complain about Donald Trump or say that they’re promoting diversity when their actions (or inaction) speak otherwise? Diversity isn’t just literally black and white, it’s something more complex; it occupies the gray area in the middle. Many people seem to think that just because you put a handful of Black people on screen (there are OTHER races too, you know?) and showcase minority “issue” films (on Gay refugees, Gays in the Middle-East, etc.), they can solve racism and inequality.

In truth, however, the work is far from being done. It doesn’t matter how many POCs are on screen if we are only reduced to stereotypes or, in the opposite case, neutered to the point where our complex experiences are distilled to white-people-cause-of-the-moment or worse, erased altogether. I just want to see my goddamn experiences represented accurately and truthfully.

I know that the work is hard. We have to dismantle a system of oppression that has been in place for hundreds of years that’s still an ongoing problem not just within the LGBTQ community but society at large. But, still, I expected better from our own community. How can a community that is fighting for equality perpetuate a system that promotes the invalidation of members within their own community?

It’s a system that allows for my bosses in LA to ignorantly make insensitive comments about my race via Skype.

It’s a system that enables a white, friend-of-a-friend at a Thanksgiving party to confidently assume, because of where I met the host, my appearance, and my non-English name, that it was my first Thanksgiving.

It’s a system that excuses gays when they put “No Asians” on their Grindr profiles and justify it as just “preference.”

It’s a system that allows an African American drag queen in New York to call me up on stage and mock my race and question my Americanness, while excusing such behavior as jest.

It’s a system where, when I was 17, a white, visiting professor took me to his home and raped me, assuming that I wanted it because I’m a “submissive Asian Bottom” who should’ve “relaxed more so that it would’ve felt better.”

It’s a system where, if I do speak up against the people in power who are supposedly on my side, I’d be dismissed and made to feel that I was the problem, that I was the one who was being overly sensitive and needed to check my feelings.

But, the thing is, I’ve been checking my feelings. I’ve been checking my damn feelings every day of my life. And you know what? I’m tired. I’m tired of them saying, “I can’t be racist or ignorant, I have black friends...” or “You obviously haven’t seen our program, we have an eye for colored people!” or whatever dumb-fuck excuse they use to deflect from the actual problem and validate their inaction/behavior/ignorance. It’s time for them to check their own damn feelings and realize that for real change to happen, they need to shut the hell up and listen. I’m sure they’re all well-meaning, but in the end, good intentions won’t matter much when the results are tone-deaf and continue to facilitate segregation and inequality.

I think that as we gain more acceptance within the mainstream, those who are now in a place of privilege tend to forget what it felt like to be in the minority. They forget those in the past who helped fight for our rights, they forget other members of their own communities who are still suffering, they forget what it felt like to be degraded for who they truly are, they forget what the real MO of the LGBTQ community is: Equality. There isn’t just one answer that will fix this Racism problem. The work needs to be highly personal and it starts with examining our own selves. It starts with listening to other members of the community without preconceived judgments and really examining the whys and hows of this system (of privilege) operating within our own lives. And look, I really get it. It’s hard to ask yourself why you’re not attracted to Asians, or why you’re still repulsed by femininity, or why this minority still feels left out when you went out of your way to create a safe space for them. We all want to believe that we’re fighting and living for the right things. And I think it’s now time to stop believing and start doing the real work.

As the Tame Impala song came to a close, I stared intently at my Ace Hardware™ Lamp. It was my only source of (literal and somewhat figurative) light, so after being in this dark room holding in my feelings, the warm glow of the light was oddly comforting. I started sobbing and my friend said, “Don’t worry they’re just hypocritical wannabe-liberal white execs… What else can you do?”

“But..,” I responded. “One of them is black.”

With much love, forever and always, Yudho Vanderhof Aditya

Yudho is a recipient of the 2016 Director’s Guild of America Best Asian American Student Director Award. He’s working on a feature film about gaysian Americans, if you’d like to share your experiences with him (which he will repay via coffee or tea at most NYC cafés), contact him: 📧: [email protected] IG: youdough

#gay #gaysian #gay asian #racism #diversity #queer #gaysiandiaries #gapimny

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kekabumi · 7 years ago

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Gulab Jamun

Gulab Jamun is a popular dessert in the Indian subcontinent and our personalities are just as sweet and lovable as the dessert.

In conjunction with the Festival of Lights, Kekabumi presents: Gulab Jamun, a photo journal of 4 very different gulabos*, each with their own unique twist and flavour as we explore their take on being a Malaysian Indian.

*term of endearment

GULABO #1: ANJALI NIJJAR VENUGOPAL, 22 Artist, Actor, Poet, Freelance Publicist

“Is your name inspired from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai?” I threw the first question to break the ice.

“No,” she replied with a sweet smile. “I was born before that!”

Anjali, despite being young is a quadruple-threat. She’s an artist, actor, poet and a freelance publicist. Her artwork have been exhibited in Tokyo and she is as passionate as one can be. She also recently competed in SHORT+SWEET staged at Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPAC) if she’s not performing at poetry gigs like ‘If Walls Could Talk’.

“I’ve always liked the stage,” she admits.

Born and bred in Sabah, Anjali pursued her tertiary education in Film & TV. Her favourite film is Scott Pilgrim vs The World and she described her style as a fine line between pastel goth and sporty.

As a theater actor, Anjali said that she has to open up and be vulnerable when she is on stage in order to put on a good show. The intense training she had during Theatre for Young People (T4YP) had allow her to do just that.

“I’ve become much, much, braver.” she added.

A lot of people would never guess that she’s actually a Sikh because to her, there is not enough Sikh representation in Malaysia even though there are a few Gurdwaras in KL itself.

“It’s also unfortunate that the Vaisakhi (a major religious celebration in Sikhism) is not given Public Holiday here. Sometimes I had to choose between classes or work and going to temple. I wish that wasn’t the case.”

Anjali, whose dream home would be a studio apartment where she can turn into a creative space wasn’t afraid to speak up about the struggles she had growing too.

“I used to not like my name because people was making fun of it when I was a kid. They made me feel like I’m horrible and ugly for being Indian.”

“It was not until I see the representation (of POC) in the western media that I thought to myself wow, I could actually look good in that (outfit).”

Anjali’s play “TIGA” will be staged at Five Arts Centre from 23rd – 26th November. Make sure you don’t miss it!

Instagram/Twitter: @pertatos Website: http://pertatos.blogspot.my/

GULABO #2: AZAAD, 25 Videographer

Azaad was 30 minutes late to our shoot but his personality is so bright we couldn't be upset about it. Our conversation started when we went to 7Eleven together to get some drinks and snacks. He told me that one day, he wants to prank the 7E guy too. Throughout our 15-minute walk, we talked about a lot of random things - from car drifting, to parkour, to suicide.

"Every day I wake up to be a better person than I was yesterday," he told me. "That's what keeps me going.”

Born in an Indian-Muslim family from Penang, the Media Technology graduate from SAE International emphasized on the importance of family by saying that there will never be a place like home.

“Growing up, my friends are 60% Chinese, 30% Indians and only 10% Malays but I have never experienced racial clashing. I see it happening around, but never to me.”

When asked about his thoughts on the minority in Malaysia – Indians especially, Azaad said that he wish the Indians realised how important they are as the people here in Malaysia and that they should never feel sideline. Azaad speaks fervently of his dissatisfaction with the IT and Medicine stereotype often imposed onto Indian individuals as he hope to see more Indians in the creative line of work.

While digging deeper into his own heritage, Azaad also enlightened us about what it means to be an Indian Muslim in Malaysia.

“I think the Indian culture is amazing. The heritage is really something to be proud of and celebrated. And the colours are just so beautiful” said Azaad. “However, one of two things people often ask when they find out that I’m Indian-Muslim is either: Which one of your parents is malay? Or are you a convert?”

As Azaad explains about the Indian Muslim community within Malaysia, we learnt that it is a small minority that often get mixed up with Mamaks, who are individuals of mixed Indian-Malay heritage. Azaad laments on the interchangeability of the Malay and Muslim identity, which gives way to a form of ignorance towards others that don’t fall under the same label.

Azaad notices that Indian Muslims are at risk of losing their unique culture due to the pressure of trying to fit into modern Malaysian society, but they may also be at risk of losing a part of their identity as well if they do not. As Azaad mentions, “If you can’t beat the rest, join the rest but of course there are those who still stay true to their roots.”

The enthusiastic 25 year-old who loves his current job told me that if not a videographer, he’d probably be in aviation as a fighter pilot or a professional motor sport driver if he ever runs out of creative juice. Well, I guess we have to wait and see what’s in store for this Penangite creative.

Instagram: @ahmedazaad

GULABO #3: VARSHA, 20 Musician, lawyer-to-be

When I first arrived at the studio, I noticed a girl with sharp face feature doing her make-up and I thought “Woah, she’s beautiful.” It took me awhile to approach her because not only she was doing her make-up, she also has this stern look that made me feel a little scared. But as the hour pass by and everyone was all warmed up, Varsha turned out to be a very pleasant person to have conversations with. And quite chatty too!

So when I had her to tell me a bit about herself, it was very surprising to know that this 20 year-old is currently pursuing her degree in law despite having a pure-science A-level qualification. So why the drastic change?

“Well, I’ve been learning science since I was 16 and the thought of having to spend the rest in my life in the lab is just not something I am quite comfortable with. I mean, I really, really, love Biology and all but maybe not as a professional.” she told me as we were hanging out at the balcony.

Three fun facts about Varsha that I learnt:

When she was 10, she had a skateboarding phase but never really got into it because she was just stoked to have Spiderman design on her skateboard instead of the actual thing.

When she was 13, her guilty pleasure show to watch is Keeping Up With The Kardashians (KUWTK)

She was obsessed with High School Musical (HSM) so much that she had posters all over her room that she has not yet taken down.

Varsha who views John Mayer as one of her sources of inspiration recently released two songs on her Spotify – ‘Real’ and ‘Fool for You’. But her achievements to this date definitely didn’t come easy.

“I feel like no matter how good I am, I will always have to push a bit extra in everything I do. For example, I did great in my SPM but not great enough to land me a scholarship because of the race quota. I totally understand that the majority should have more seats but yeah.” she explained.

To Varsha, Malaysia is a country where you have to conform to the majority. You are forced to follow the flow but if you are a salmon who swims upstream, that wouldn’t be too easy.

“Honestly, I don’t think coerce is good for you spiritually or mentally. I wish people can just be their own person regardless their preferences,” Varsha added. Well, we agree with you on that, girl.

Instagram & Twitter: @thatssovarsha Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2X1RsyKi5IRhAPyKAa8o3m

GULABO #4: KEITH NOEL RAJ, 22 Musician

“Passionate. Rational. Naïve.”

Those were the words that came out of Keith’s when I asked him to describe himself in three words. Started playing music since he was 13, he told me he never learned how to read notes despite being able to play instruments well.

Throughout the photoshoot, Keith wasn’t the loudest person in the room but he exuberates this calm aura that made it easy to approach him. Young and talented, Keith believes that if you put in a lot of effort, time and details in what you do, you will be great at it.

Speaking of great, he will be releasing his EP really soon and we wish him nothing but the best!

“So what do you think about the Indians in Malaysia?” curious, I asked. “I do think that our representation in this country is a concern especially with all the stereotypes that people have on Indians.”

“But a way to rise above that than getting proper education. Those who are financially stable are lucky, but what about those who are not? They need to get out of the cycle and see the world.”

To Keith, the inability to see life in a bigger picture will restrict your reality. Which is why if he had to write a letter to his future self he would ask if the older Keith is okay and hope he is not having a stagnant life at that point of his life.

“Hopefully you don’t have a wife and kids too!” he added.

This young musician who would like to visit Japan one day told us that there’s just something about the way Japanese do things that he loves. Contrary to the Western world, Japanese people don’t have problem with routine and he think it’s very interesting how they live life there.

Twitter/Instagram: @keithhateskids

We hope you enjoy this feature as much as we do. We had a really good time working with the personalities and super glad that we get to share their stories with all of you!

Love, Kekabumi.

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putschki1969 · 8 years ago

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For the Kalafina ask meme ^w^: 1, 3, 6, 9, 10, 12, 13, 19, 23, 24, 25, 26, 30, 31, 38, 39, 47, 48 and 54. Those are some of my favorites lol

youturnitintolight said: For the Kalafina meme, everything you have not been asked to answer!

auctumnitas said: 24, 27, 17, 8

Ughhh, my entire post just got deleted because I accidentally pressed some keys T_T Oh well, here we go again.Thanks so much to @sharkafina, @auctumnitas and especially @youturnitintolight for sending me all these questions.Also, a quick shoutout to @sharkafina aka @kalafinaquips for creating this awesome meme!!It’s gonna be a long post so I better put everything under a cut ^_^

Basic Kalafina questions:

1) First Kalafina song? I had watched some FictionJunction performances before I came across Kalafina so I was slightly familiar with Wakana’s and Keiko’s voices. One day, the PV of Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni Wa appeared on Youtube and I was immediately intrigued. The music, the lyrics, their voices, their dresses, the overall aesthetics, the drama. I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. There was no going back after that. 2) First Kalafina album? I think it was 「Red Moon」. 3) Favorite Kalafina song? Still Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku, I’ll love this song till my dying day. 4) Favorite Kalafina album? Probably 「Red Moon」 since it doesn’t have a single song on it that I actually dislike. 5) Favorite Kalafina single? Probably 「Magia」. I love Magia to death, it’s very high up on my list of favourite Kalafina songs and I really love the B-Side snow falling too. 6) Favorite Kalafina B-side? Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no7) Tough question: Favorite member? It’s gotta be Keiko. I know, no surprise there. Her voice is just the most perfect thing in the world. And I just love her, I can’t help it XD But Wakana and Hikaru are incredibly precious to me as well. I love and appreciate Kalafina as a whole and I wouldn’t have it any othe way.8) Favorite Kalafina look/attire? That’s quite hard. I can’t pick one. I really love their black/gold dresses from the LIVE TOUR 2014 (which they also wore for their CDJ appearance that year as well as their Mexico fotw concert in 2016). Then I am a big fan of fancy Consolation dresses, those were just gorgeous! Also really liked their dresses on Blue Day at Nippon Budoukan. Their After Eden live performance dresses were quite pretty too, very flattering (but I only like Hikaru’s dress the way she wore it during the Type Moon 10th Anniversary Festival).

Do you…

9) Own any piece of merch? By now, I own so much that it would be quite hard to list it all. I don’t really have any clothes (I don’t like buying shirts of concerts I haven’t attended. Doesn’t feel right somehow >_signed white shirt that was given away by Tokyo Girls’ Update but I am not sure that counts as merch. Other than that, I mostly collect their pamphlets, live photo books, posters, postcards and clearfiles. I also own a few odd pieces here and there, things that caught my interest and that weren’t too expensive e.g. a pink Consolation drinking bottle, the FOTW water bottle, Keiko’s Arena Live candy box, a keyholder from one of the recent X-Mas lives, ect…10) Own any physical albums/singles? I own all albums including their two BEST collections, their two Live albums and the most recent Winter Acoustic one. Okay, no, I just realised that I don’t own the Re/Oblivious album but meh, I don’t feel that counts. I have currently eight singles (most of which I bought for around 3 bucks in Japan in either BOOK・OFF or K-Books who both sell second-hand products). I don’t like paying full price for singles unless I know that the song won’t appear on any album.

Have you ever…

11) Attended a Kalafina live? (If so, how many?) Yes, I have attended both mini concerts in Germany at Animagic. I’ve also been to the live in France at Japan Expo (which I found less-enjoyable because everything was so crowded and there were people everywhere pushing against me from all sides. I HATE those kinds of concerts!). My best experience so far was attending both FOTW Special Finals. The concert on Sunday was beyond amazing, @erza-shidae and I were pretty much right in front of the girls.12) Watched any of the shows/movies they have performed for? No, I don’t really watch anime13) Met them (in a greet-and-meet)? I met them twice at Animagic!! And I saw them up-close at Japan Expo. Sadly, I couldn’t attend the signing session at Japan Expo.14) Gotten their autograph? Yup, I own a Madoka poster signed by the girls (and some other artists), I also got their first three albums at Animagic which they signed for me and I have that Tokyo Girls’ Update T-shirt I mentioned earlier. Really can’t complain XD15) Traveled out of your country for a Kalafina concert? Yup, I traveled to Germany, France and Japan. I wish my trips to Germany and France would have been longer but back then I was working so it was quite hard to get time off. Which is also why I missed a lot of their stuff while they were at the conventions. 16) Talked about Kalafina with someone else (other than the fans)?I sometimes talk to my mum and sis about them. But I keep it to a limit because I know they are not really interested.

Random Kalafina questions:

17) What’s your favorite fact about Kalafina? The fact that they love each other and how they are so grateful they get to do what they are doing. Makes me forget about all the fan-hate. 18) Do you have any ships? (Which one if so) WaKei 19) Is there any random, non-Kalafina related thing that for some reason reminds you of Kalafina? Pretty much everything reminds me of Kalafina. I have a great memory when it comes to Kalafina related things, everything they do or say is branded into my mind. So yeah, when I take a walk, I think of Keiko because I know she loves taking walks, when I watch my favourite show TWD, I think of Wakana because I know she likes it too, if I have an egg, I think of Hikaru because I know she is really into all kinds of egg-dishes. The most basic things really. 20) Is there any food that remind you of Kalafina? Chicken and egg for Hikaru, dumplings for Wakana and mint-chocolate for Keiko.

Name a Kalafina song that…

21) You love Red Moon22) You never get tired of Tsuioku23) Makes you cry I hardly ever cry but maybe Seventh Heaven or Hikari Furu24) Makes your day a whole lot better Jingle Bells25) You used to dislike but now love to death Seventh Heaven and snow falling26) You listened to over and over until you got fed up Can’t think of one. 27) Can transport you to another different world with its beauty symphonia28) Inspires you to be creative Magia

What Kalafina member would you choose to:

29) Go shopping? Keiko, because I love her style and I feel like she would be a great judge on whether something suits me or not. And we’d totally buy matching outfits ^_^30) Make pizza? With both Wakana and Keiko because they really enjoy cooking and all of their stuff has looked delicious so far. Hikaru would be invited of course because I know she loves junk food. 31) Show her around your hometown? All three of them. I wanna share everything with them 32) Go to the movie theater? Duh, Wakana of course. No one appreciates a good movie like Wakana. And I feel we have very similar tastes when it comes to movies and TV shows. 33) Play videogames? Hikaru. Keiko is too competetive for my tastes, I couldn’t handle it. I feel like it would be fun to play with Hikaru. 34) Go karaoke? All of them XD35) Go bungee jumping? I’d never go but I think if there was anyone who could make me do it, it would be Keiko. 36) Go fishing? Hikaru. 37) Go to a museum? Wakana because she knows her way around all kinds of museums and art galleries. 38) Rob a bank? I don’t think I’d ever do it but probably with Keiko. 39) Do a prank call? I’d certainly never do that and I hope the girls wouldn’t either >_40) Make a garage band? All three of them41) Go to a picnic? All three of them42) Bake a cake? Duh, with Cakey of course ^_^43) Go to Disneyland/world? All three of them!! 44) Backpacking another country? Another thing I wouldn’t do but Keiko could make me :P45) Re-design your home? I feel like Wakana has a great sense for interior design. I don’t know why, I just think she does. 46) Go to a library? Hikaru or Wakana because both love books47) Help you with homework/tests? I’d never take help from someone when it comes to homeworks/tests (those things are long in the past anyways) but I think I’d accept Hikaru’s help. 48) Vandalize a building? I’d NEVER EVER do that and I hope the girls wouldn’t either. 49) Go to a concert? All three of them ^_^50) Go jogging? I wanan say Keiko because she would motivate me but then I would die so maybe I should go with Hikaru. :P I51) Kill that hideous spider in your room? (Before you blow up your house :p)?Probably Keiko although I feel like Keiko wouldn’t kill it. Knowing her, she would hold it in my face T_T52) Go to a zoo? Hikaru53) Hide a corpse? Keiko, she seems smart with stuff like that XD54) Use a ouija board? I don’t even know what that is. Had to look it up. Ohhh! I see. Hmmm, maybe Keiko.55) Go to a party? I don’t go to parties. So probably Hikaru because she is also not the party-type. We could sit in a corner and talk :P

#kalafina #meme #questions #THANK YOU #oh boy #this took so long #but it was so much fun!#sharkafina

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kickwhenyouredown · 7 years ago

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A few days ago I had the amazing opportunity to meet, speak with, and watch the famous Japanese blacksmith Masahira Fujiyasu work during a special event at the Minka-en grounds in Fukushima City, thanks to the hard work and planning of Andy Coombs and the Fukushima City Tourism and Convention Association. This type of event hasn’t been held for over a decade and the majority of Japanese people never get this opportunity, let alone a foreigner. Mr. Fuhiyasu’s master was a national treasure of Japan and I am told that Mr. Fujiyasu is the last classically trained blacksmith that has mastered techniques of making Kamakura and Muromachi period styled blades. What added to this even more was the opportunity to speak with him and his students during lunch and while he was taking a break in the afternoon.

We arrived at the forge around 10am to find Mr. Fujiyasu finishing his preparations for the day. He made a forge and billows there just days before. It was interesting to see as it had two air inlets with flaps that would alternate as he pushed and pulled to create a constant stream of air to feed the hot coals, reaching temperatures of 2700 and above, depending on which stage he was at and how hot he wanted it to be.

Seeing as we only had about 6 hours for the event he decided to work on a few swords at different stages of the creation process to give a better understanding of the Japanese sword creation methodology. He had already prepared the tamagahane and placed it in a concise pile to be inserted into the hot coals.

After removing the white-hot steel from the coals he would roll the block in a pile of ashes and quickly begin the hammering process.

While he worked, one of his students would help hammer, while the other would quickly cut the charcoal into specific sized chunks, in order to maintain a consistent temperature. They would switch out once in a while, and during a certain stage they both worked to hammer at the same time.

After a while Mr. Fujiyasu started folding the steel. He folded it not only in half vertically, but at least once horizontally as well. To do so he used a wedge to partially split the molten steel, then he would slowly hammer it as he rotated it on the anvil.

After several folds (and a few hours) everyone took a lunch break. We had some delicious hot Soba, Udon ,and onigiri as everyone relaxed in the warmth of the space heaters.

Here I was able to speak with Mr. Fujiyasu a bit and discovered that he was an avid Kyuudou practitioner and he felt that it was an important part of his life. We discussed martial arts, and the swords he would be working on for the rest of the day. He said he would be working on a kogatana (short sword) and a katana (long sword).

When he said “kogatana” I asked if that was the same as a wakizashi, or maybe a tanto. He said that in the time period he specializes in, they didn’t use the term wakizashi yet, so shorter swords are generally referred to as just kogatana. If the length was compared to modern standards, it would fall roughly into the size of a wakizashi, but on the long end. The katana he worked on was to be 2 shaku 4 sun in length.

Terms such as shaku (shah-ku), sun (soon), and bu (boo) are still used today to reference sword length. 1 shaku is about 30.3022 cm (or 11.9303 inches), while a sun is 1/10 that of a shaku (3.03022cm / 1.192999in), and a bu is 1/10 that of a sun (0.303022cm / 0.119299in). If discussing cloth length, the measurements change would slightly.

So the length of the katana he would be working on should be about 72.725cm (28.6319in) from the tip of the blade to where it meets the metal collar mounted between a sword blade and the hand guard (habaki). That’s about the same length as the blade that I use for Iaido training…so I was looking forward to seeing the outcome even more.

From here Mr. Fujiyasu skipped about 2 days of the folding process by taking out the blades discussed above, that he had worked on at his personal forge. The blocks had been formed into long rectangular rods

and he started to hammer them into his general desired shape. He would often splash water under the blade as he forged it, creating loud booming sounds as he struck.

Here is the end product for this stage.

From here he would continue to work on the blade for several more steps, such as a rough shaping (7th step), cleaning with a slurry (8th), tempering with the slurry after being heated to the desired temperature (9th, often at night or in a fully enclosed and dark place to better see the color of the flame and sword). Here, Mr. Fujiyasu must decide whether the sword was a success or a failure. If it’s a failure, it will be scrapped and he will have to start the process over from the beginning. If not, he moves on to filing the blade to his desired thickness and to straightening any light bends in the blade. Then he will also use an arato whetstone (~200 grit), bringing the blade to what I am holding in the photo below. (some lovely hat hair included)

At this point Mr. Fujiyasu took a break between shaping the two swords and came over to speak with me about the katana I was inspecting. This is a sword that he had finished a few days earlier and we talked a lot about the shape as it had a strong curve for such a long sword. From our earlier conversation he knew that I practiced Iaido and asked me a few questions about the blade to see if I could guess the length, weight, and a few other aspects. It was almost exactly my size and he said I was right on the mark! We then discussed a few other details and what else was needed for the blade to be completed. For this one, it still needed to be handed off to a profession sword polisher and to have his name and place of creation inscribed into the tang. I was having a blast as he is a really energetic older gentleman. I hope I have the please of speaking with him again soon.

Unfortunately we couldn’t stay until the end as the group we were with was scheduled to leave, but we were showed around the Minka-en and saw a few of his completed works, some traditional buildings and workshops, and even an old theater with a massive rotating floor.

This was an absolutely amazing experience and this certainly doesn’t do it justice. In a week or so, I should have a video up here so you can see everyone in action as well. If I’m lucky, I might be able to order a custom made katana from him next year! That’s still a long way off and I would need to have in-depth talks with him as well as my sensei, but just the thought is enough to send me back to the dojo with even more energy than usual!

The event was covered by the prefectural news station (NHK TUF) and here is a short clip from that coverage (in Japanese starting at about 21:06).

Note: I am not a blacksmith and the entire event was conducted in Japanese with some interpretation services from Mr. Coombs. It is quite possible that I misheard some of the information and that could result in an incorrect use of terminology in this post. If you see something that should be corrected, please feel free to comment below in order to let me know.

*Thanks Tito for a few of the photos used above!

Making of the Katana: Behind the scenes with a Master A few days ago I had the amazing opportunity to meet, speak with, and watch the famous Japanese blacksmith…

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angstattack · 7 years ago

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month - My Story.

-This is my story, it isn’t pretty and it isn’t happy but it is mine.

I was 14 when I met him, I was a freshman on the colorguard team going to an after school club before practice with a teammate - my friend of a couple years. He was a senior, and he went to this after school club I think twice a week when it met.

At the time he had a girlfriend, they'd been together for a few years, I didn't really know her. He made a couple potential passes at me and I gently reminded him about his girlfriend - so he stopped. We were friends for the remaining five or six months of the school year.

When he graduated he joined the Marines, during basic he snuck a couple calls to me - I remember sitting by my window grasping onto every moment. He said he and his girlfriend weren't speaking at the time - he said they were falling apart but that's all he said about her.

He came back as school was starting up, my sophomore year. I saw him show up with his very pregnant girlfriend to a football game. I was in the stands with my colorguard teammates and the marching band. To this day I can remember in clear detail the moment when he turned his head as he walked by with her and the feeling of my heart sinking just a little.

They fell apart within a month, he and I kept in contact the whole time - he said she'd been using him and tried to tie him down with a baby. Eventually she would sign over all of her rights and run away to Florida - she never kept in contact.

It's unclear in my memory when we started seeing each other, but it was after this man had been stationed in Okinawa Japan. We maintained a pretty consistent texting situation even with the 16 hour time difference and his ever changing schedule.

He was really great then, those first six months or so. He'd stay in Japan through the rest of my Sophomore year, my Junior year and a portion of my Senior year. He purchased a ring during my junior year after asking about the ring size on my class ring that I'd just received - I thought it was sweet even if I wouldn't see him for a while and he held onto it.

But during those roughly two years he began to change. He would sort of punish me for not replying fast enough to a text by ignoring me for a bit and asking how it felt to be push aside, that turned into freezing me out for days on end. He would often call me a popular B word. He'd gone from being distracted and gaming during Skype calls to completely ignoring what I was saying to him - he wouldn't try to make conversation but he also wasn't obviously intending to miss what I would say or ask.

There were times during my Junior year when he began pressuring me about sex. I was just barely sixteen when I started my Junior year of high school. I wasn't ready for that, I knew I wasn't ready. He came home around May later that year for his sister's graduation. I was about a month from turning seventeen - and I was not ready still. He told me it could be a year or more before I see him again and that this was the perfect time. I said no.

Later during that same leave we went on a date and saw The Lucky One in theatres (for those of you wondering, this is in May of 2012), he gave me the ring he'd held onto while we watched the movie and said it was a promise that we'd get married and be together forever- that we were engaged. He then tried to engage in some questionable things while we were in the theater and I wasn't comfortable at all. Needless to say, he pushed my limits and I stopped him before it got too far. It didn't really get very far in the grand scheme of things but at sixteen almost seventeen and not ready for anything it was going to be too far no matter what.

He went back to Japan, things went back to the new normal - him ignoring me, punishing me for not replying fast enough, him pressuring me about sex, him expecting me to be there for whatever he needed no matter what, more name calling - increasingly vulgar. I held my ground on the sex thing which pissed him off. His guilt trips started around Christmas that year. He kept going on about how all of his friends had girlfriends who sent photos - dirty photos. He pushed on that, and so began the "If you love me then you'll do this". He was constantly making me prove that I loved him and if I wouldn't do something it was like five steps back and I'd be left waiting at my computer for a Skype call or have my texts ignored for the whole weekend.

This was normal for most of my senior year. My friends started to notice what he was doing and they chimed in about how this wasn't normal or okay. Remember, I turned 17 the June before my senior year - I was among the 5 youngest in my grade all through school - I didn't know any better, I was innocent and young and this was the first real relationship I had. So I listened to my friends, I remembered what my drum major and good friend from band asked me - she asked if he was sweet to me, I'd told her yes as a sophomore, she told me if he ever hurt me that it wasn't something I should stand for - I assumed she meant if he said something that hurt me unintentionally.

There was a night when I sat in my room and waited for his call while doing homework, I don't remember the conversation but I do remember it ending with us being on a break for a month or so. Ultimately he tried to make it all better with promises to be kinder and patient like he usually blabbed. I got through winter and into the spring of my senior year still dating this guy who went back to his usual bullshit.

He came home in April of 2013, and I wish I could tell you that I stuck with my gut and did what I thought was right but I didn't. About a month and a half before turning 18 I was coerced and manipulated into having sex with this guy. He had me lie to my parents, saying I was at a friend's for her birthday party and sleepover - which I'd just done in March with a few close friends so it wasn't out of the ordinary. I don't remember how I ended up there after school that day but I was at his parents' house for a party to celebrate him coming home. I went to bed in their guest room, he was in his room, and obviously it didn't stay that way. I'm not comfortable going further in this bit of the story because it didn't happen by my choosing yet some people will tell me coercion isn't rape ... so we'll jump to the next morning. He walked me to where my dad was picking me up and I can still hear him saying something that would never leave me... "Added another virgin to the conquering list", that made me feel shitty and used. To this day it echoes in my brain.

My dad knew instantly that I'd lied, the night before I was questioning myself and made some excuse to get myself out of it - but then didn't. I ended up going to a pharmacy and getting a morning after pill because I didn't know what the best option was. My father called the police and reported the guy, at the time I refused to say anything, eventually paperwork came saying that the case was basically null due to my being almost 18. I was relieved at the time because I thought I loved him and he loved me, today I wish they'd pushed me to speak up back then.

Our parents banned us from communicating for a while. I went to Prom, I graduated, I turned 18, things were sort of normal. He and I picked back up right before I turned 18. As always it started out fine but got nasty - and nastier and nastier. On my 18th birthday I got my nose pierced - a cute captive bead hoop, something I'd wanted since 16 and only mentioned a couple weeks before - my parents had no issue with it, my mother also has a nose piercing but she got hers later. I sent this guy a picture during the drive home, a picture showing my new nose ring. I waited a moment and saw his reply come in.... "You look like a whore." followed by "My parents would never accept that, they're going to yell at me because of this". My heart dropped, I loved the piercing - a couple months later I got a smaller hoop that fit better and I've never looked back - but in the moment I was really torn. I told my mom that he simply didn't like it and she said "Don't you take it out unless you don't want it anymore, make that choice on your own". I lit into him and said it was my choice, that he needed to back off. He punished me by not talking for a while. After that I began dying the tips of my hair teal because I also wanted to do that, he said his parents hated it too - I didn't care.

Things continued as usual. In November of 2013 I went to London, Paris, and Rome with some of family. Prior to going but after ticket booking I'd mentioned it to this guy. He said I wasn't allowed to go, I asked why, he said I was going to end up cheating. I laughed at that, full of myself, and said I'm too loyal for that. He texted saying he'd seen photos of me and some guy doing something sexual that I won't say in this video. I asked for proof, he had none, he said it was clearly my head, shoulders, and hair from behind.

At that moment, I went to Europe and I was no longer in love with this guy. I was emotionally disconnected - I stopped caring around then and I should've ended it but I didn't ... and you'll see why I wish this by the end of my story. I ignored him during the trip, I told him not to text me because it would cost me some amount each time, and it was for emergencies.

I came home on Thanksgiving, we didn't speak much for about two weeks I think. Around Christmas in 2013 he was home for a while before getting sent to Pendleton in California. He came to my house uninvited as we were making Christmas dinner for the family - waiting for them to get there. I looked out a window and saw him walking toward my house. I panicked, I didn't feel safe around him and didn't want him in my home. I got in the shower like I'd planned earlier in the day. My dad knocked saying he'd shown up, I said I was showering and would be a bit and that I also didn't want to speak to the guy.

I finished my shower, listened from the hall upstairs and heard him leave. I got dressed, pretended nothing happened, and came downstairs. My dad mentioned that the guy had brought a gift, it was sitting on the tiny table in our entry area. I didn't touch it or look at it all night, I reluctantly brought it up stairs when I went to bed and set it in front of my closet where it sat for about a day, I opened it out of curiosity. He got me sims 3 seasons and sims 3 island paradise, slipped into the bag was also a necklace - something I'd never wear even if we were on good terms. I felt bad, he'd wasted his money. I texted him a pretty bland thank you note, he said he didn't care if I kept the gifts or not - he could probably tell I was angry and not interested. They sat and sat and sat some more, I ended up selling them a couple years later and used the money to have a nice day out shopping for my 21st birthday.

I told him he had one more chance. Around Valentine's day in February of 2014 I visited him at Pendleton. I was sort of playing a part, I wasn't emotionally there but making the motions as if I were. He, as usual did things to ignore me like playing some card game with his friends, getting sucked in League of Legends - which reminds me of him and I will admit is half of why I hate it so much. He went to a game shop and played his card game for over two hours, fifteen minutes into being there I asked if I could go sit in the car and wait for him, I did. I waited for two hours, asking every so often when he'd be out. We were going to go dinner, this had been a planned ten minute stop, I was irritated that once again I came second to some damn game.

One night he was pressuring me about sex, I wasn't interested. He wouldn't stop, so I quickly got my phone, ID, shoes on, and darted out of the hotel room. He spent five minutes whining and calling my name - it was late, like ten at night, and I felt like a dick hiding in a stairwell - so I sat on a bench across the parking lot from our room and let him find me. He chastised me like a child for running, which no - I shouldn't have done and I do regret, it was a dick move. He said something about mountain lions or wolves being on the base and that we should get inside, I told him to fuck off - that I'd rather be out with whatever animals were there - and that I'd come inside when I felt like it.... which was about four minutes later because I didn't have a jacket and it was February in California at night.

Most of the trip after that was normal, we slept in separate beds - by my demand - for the rest though. Eventually we drove back to Arizona, he had a couple weeks off or something. I sort of ignored him for a couple days, still irritated and not able to get him to listen to me. March was starting, something didn't seem right to me - my period was late, then something happened, I experienced what everyone and everything told me at the time was a miscarriage. My first thought was that my body betrayed me, followed by knowing I wasn't ready, and finally wondering how that was possible if we were being safe as I had agreed to. I confronted the guy and told him what happened, his first reaction? He assumed I cheated so I skipped that and instead just asked if he ever didn't use a protection when we were together ... there was a pause and he said very casually "well, no, I put it on after a while a few times, and took it off a couple times". That's not how proper safe sex works, and I was furious. What I didn't know then that I do now is that this, like coercion, is a twisted form of rape - called stealthing (which, if you're curious about either I made videos about under my Taboo Tuesday segment - numbers 21 and 22).

I spent a solid week getting through that, knowing what he did, how he reacted, what happened - ultimately it would take me a fair bit longer. A few days later we went on a date, pretty normal, but I wasn't myself yet - I tried to play it off like I wasn't as disconnected as I felt. Later that night we were at his parents' place - where he was staying, he once again - you guessed it - coerced me into something. I sort of emotionally quit and let him at the point. I wasn't myself, I was broken in several ways, and I stopped caring.

We went on one final date - but at the time I didn't realize it was the final one. We argued about something that escapes me now. I told him I needed to go home and I would call someone for a ride. We were in a parking lot, he grabbed my at my wrist and forearm, held my there and said I wasn't going anywhere. Fortunately he dropped me off, though several ideas ran through my head about what he might do instead.

Later that night, at home alone and dwelling on the events, I snapped. This was it, I needed to get out - I needed him gone forever - I couldn't handle one more thing, I was done. I childishly used his tactics against him, he ignored me so I ignored him longer - he called me something, I called him something back. Come mid April I was burning with rage. I didn't care anymore, I stopped caring what he wanted or thought, I was done.

I called him up, I told him we were over, he made the excuse that he'd kill himself if I left him - I said I didn't care, which I genuinely didn't care so that's a scary moment to look back on. He tried to suffocate himself, while on the quiet line I texted his mother that her son was probably going to harm himself then I hung up and set my phone aside.

For the next year, every few months, he would try to reach me, I blocked his cell, then his Skype, then his Facebook. My settings were altered somehow and at one point he was no longer blocked, he messaged me saying he would pay me for sexual favors, then demanded the ring back, I lied saying I got rid of it- in reality it was in a box and I didn't want to see it - I later sold it too for money I spent on my 21st birthday. He would contact me a few more times in various ways - saying all he wanted was to ruin my life. At one point he'd turned it all around and made me out to be the one who hurt, abused, and manipulated him, even going so far as to accuse me of being with him for his money - which would be stupid as he was a low rank with little pay trying to support his daughter.

I spent two years working through his damage, now three and a half years later I'm a strong, confident, loud, opinionated woman who won't be used and manipulated so easily. I don't feel as if my story is my own, the girl who was hurt then isn't who I am now and I struggle with that a lot - accepting that I was once that weak and manipulated is really hard. I fixed myself on my own, no friends, family, or medical professionals ... I was all of those for myself. It took a while before I would even share small fragments from this epic story. My ex was a Marine who said that somehow with his desk job he had ended up PTSD, for years he took it out on a young girl who only wanted to love and be there for someone she thought cared about her too.

During the time when I worked on myself I put on the facade of a stronger, opinionated, stick to her guns type of person. Eventually that became my reality only better - I love who I am - every bad joke, every opinion, every belief, every dream I want to achieve... I can live with and care for this version of myself but I don't think I could've been the same had I not gone through that abusive and manipulative relationship.

So here's to the girl with the little voice that helped make me who I am today, I'm sorry nobody saw through the mask, and how nobody cared enough to help you or offer you a moment to talk about what was happening. I'll be better for the both of us now, I promise.

#domesticviolence #domestic violence #abuse #rape #coercion #stealthing #manipulation #manipulative

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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OPINION: The Life and Times of an Indian Otaku

Makoto Shinkai's Weathering With You marked a historic first in my anime watching career. Contrary to popular belief, being the first anime to be released in Indian theaters is not the historic first in question (that honor goes to Shinchan: Bungle in the Jungle). Rather, Weathering With You would become the first film I'd ever watch on opening day — "first day first show" as we Indians call it. In the mad scramble to get tickets, I'd emerged a winner. Was it worth the struggle?

An emphatic yes. It was so good I went on to rewatch it twice.

To fans in India: I’m so happy to tell that ‘Weathering With You’ (Tenki no ko) will release in India this October! We have licensed the Indian distribution rights to PVR Pictures and BookMyShow backed company Vkaao.

— 新海誠 (@shinkaimakoto) August 10, 2019

The Indian theatrical release of Weathering With You in 2019 marked an important moment in the history of the Indian anime fandom. The story of how Shinkai noticed (and fulfilled) an online petition by Indian fans asking for its release here is already the stuff of legend. Because access to anime (especially in theaters) was so scarce in India, even in 2019, fans sought to have the film legally released in theaters. And thanks to Shinkai, it worked. To Indian anime fans, this represented the moment Japan — and the rest of the world — recognized our existence in the fandom. But Indian otakus didn't spring up overnight. Anime has had nearly three decades of history here. It just looks a little different than the rest of the world. The origins of anime in India go back to the '90s. Prior to the economic reforms of 1991, we had one — yes, only one — TV channel, the state-owned Doordarshan. The post-1991 wave of private TV channels brought with it a flood of international TV shows, among them anime like Robotech (which aired on the newly-created Star Plus). Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama, the anime adaptation of the Indian mythological epic of the same name, was released in 1992 and had a long and troubled production history, but the end product was a grand success, with its all-star Hindi cast and catchy songs turning it into a TV fixture for well over a decade. It even received a US release, with Bryan Cranston voicing the lead role. The remainder of the '90s would see various anime achieve varying degrees of success, from Nippon Animation's 1989 adaptation of The Jungle Book — which became a nationwide hit — airing in India starting in 1993, to late-night anime like You're Under Arrest and Gunsmith Cats. Despite this, there wasn't yet an actual fandom surrounding anime at the time. That would all change upon the turn of the century.

Cartoon Network revolutionized the Indian anime market when the channel arrived in 2001. The launch of dedicated anime programming block Toonami brought with it two anime that would permanently shape the future of the fandom: Dragon Ball Z and Cardcaptor Sakura (albeit in its heavily-edited Cardcaptors form). While I never watched Dragon Ball Z (compared to all my friends at school), I did watch some Cardcaptors with my sister, which would actually be the very first anime I watched. My own viewing habits notwithstanding, DBZ was very much the anime of the moment. Schoolkids would frequently shout out famous lines from the iconic English dub. We'd even invented various hand games based on attacks and moves from DBZ. In 2003, another monumental shift would come as the childhood classic Pokémon hit the small screen, followed closely by Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Beyblade. The merchandise associated with these franchises turned them into smash hits with a younger audience. All the cool kids had Pokemon cards and Beyblade tops. Battling with them at school was the stuff childhood was made of. To this day, these toys continue to sell well. Beyblade tournaments are still very much a thing. While many of my schoolmates were avid fans of DBZ, there were other trends in anime that could be observed, trends that had to do with language. From my experience, certain anime were only available dubbed in Hindi — a language spoken largely by the northern half of the country. Coming from a south Indian city with a significant north Indian population, I could observe a clear trend wherein Hindi-speaking north Indians grew up with these Hindi-dubbed anime, while people in the south (who spoke other languages) largely grew up with titles that were available in English (or Tamil, as fans of DBZ's Tamil dub can testify). Interestingly, these Hindi dubbed anime tended to be ones that were popular in Japan but not so much in the West — stuff like Doraemon, Shin-Chan, KochiKame, and Case Closed. This gave the north Indian anime scene a rather unique flavor. An even more interesting case is that of India's northeastern region (comprised of states like Nagaland, Manipur, and Meghalaya). Being culturally different from the rest of India, these states have had a history of consuming Korean and Japanese media, and they embraced anime and manga in a way the rest of the nation had not. Anime-related cosplay is huge in the northeast, with some of the best cosplay conventions in the nation taking place there and becoming a part of the local fashion scene. The general acceptance of otaku culture in the region continues to be high.

Eventually, anime would become a little more accessible to all. The launch of dedicated channel Animax in 2004 represented another watershed moment in the fandom. The shows Animax brought over were unlike anything we'd seen in the medium. Shows like Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Inuyasha, and K-On! redefined what anime meant for Indian audiences who had previously seen anime as a childhood interest and no different from other cartoons. As the channel slowly began to shift its focus to the older teen/young adult demographic, more mature anime like Cowboy Bebop, Hell Girl, Akira, and Welcome to the NHK challenged our conservative notions of what was acceptable to air on TV, especially considering these shows aired in daytime slots rather than late-night. This honeymoon period did not last. Animax was delisted by service providers in 2012. The years to come would be some of the most frustrating for us anime fans, as availability was at its most inconsistent and uncertain. While the channel attempted to make a comeback later on in 2016, it eventually disappeared for good in 2017. Despite all these problems, I look back on Animax fondly. Thanks to it, we became aware of the existence of the entity known as "anime." We began to actively seek out anime over other forms of animation. In short, it resulted in the formation of an actual fandom centered around anime. Anime fan clubs began to pop up in major cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata. Widespread conventions outside of the northeast region came next. Anime Con India was started in 2010, followed closely by Delhi Comic-Con in 2011. Anime conventions in India are a curious thing. They are very unlike the sprawling, sophisticated conventions of the West. The funds simply aren't there for that sort of thing. I don't recall a single Indian anime convention that was attended by a voice actor, animator, or the like. So what are Indian cons about? In an interview with The Citizen, Anime Con India founder Nitesh Rohit talked about his reason for starting the con: "like any other belief and faith they all needed a temple to congregate (at)." This statement really resonates with me, and sums up what Indian cons are about. What they lack in scale and facilities, they make up for in intimacy and a feeling of togetherness. They are more or less small-scale events for anime fans to find other fans, to network with them, and basically feel less alone. Because feeling alone was part of the original Indian otaku experience. The early fandom was largely an urban phenomenon, as going to cons wasn't an option for everyone and the internet wasn't what it is today. So, you had these disconnected pockets of fans. People around you were unlikely to share your interest in anime and may have even judged you for it. The general consensus in India was (and still is) that animation is a medium for children. And remember, for a long time, anime accessibility varied by region. So, if you were lucky enough to find a kindred otaku, there was no guarantee they were into (or had even heard of) the same titles as you. This meant that we hadn't really had the ability to develop any sort of unique culture or traditions of our own. Things like going to cons, renting anime DVDs, memes and in-jokes — these things didn't exist for the vast majority of early fans who were school-going kids or college students of little means. A culture of our own wouldn't arise until much later — when that generation grew up.

Of course, it wasn't just us who grew up — technology did, too. The internet became more ubiquitous. Social media and forums enabled us to network with each other regardless of location, in ways we'd never have imagined. To the scattered fandom of the early days, this has been nothing short of a blessing. The other big change ushered in by the internet was the era of streaming. Until then, most of our anime viewing took place on television and as previously stated, was not always very consistent. Accessibility improved greatly with the launch of Netflix in 2016. In today's India, Netflix is a household name, with a significant portion of young adults having access to a subscription. With a catalog of over 200 anime, Netflix has been responsible for pulling in many new fans. Plenty of people "come for the movies, stay for the anime." Series like My Hero Academia, Death Note, and One-Punch Man have become mainstream successes in this fashion, with a significant following even among non-anime fans. Another streaming service that is beginning to make inroads into the Indian market is Crunchyroll, with simulcasts like Boruto and originals like Tower of God, and the fact that it is free makes it accessible to anyone with an internet connection. Most Indian anime fans I know of have heard of Crunchyroll, and as more titles get licensed it is inevitable that its popularity will rise. And us otakus are doing plenty to help it do just that.

The success of Weathering With You is a shining example of the tight-knit nature of the Indian anime fandom. All it took was one person (an anime fan named Divishth Pancholi) to create a Change.org petition asking for its release in Indian theaters. The petition went viral, getting over 50,000 signatures and attracting the attention of Shinkai and the producers, resulting in its release here. Today, that event is seen as a smaller part of a greater Indian anime movement that is pushing for increased availability and acceptance of anime in India. Hashtags like #IndiaWantsAnime frequently make their presence felt on social media. This fandom isn't without its problems — it isn't the most inclusive when it comes to non-male fans, the "animation is for kids" specter hasn't been fully shaken off, and I'd love for anime BluRays/DVDs to be more widely available here. But I am grateful for the fandom's existence for getting me into anime in the first place. Without them, I'd have never been sitting in a movie theater on October 11, 2019, watching Weathering With You.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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whatthekpopofficial · 7 years ago

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WTK Review: The True Story Of "A Taxi Man" And The Gwangju Uprising

The entirely true story of "A Taxi Driver" is one that will pull every single one of your heartstrings. On top of emotional involvement, just knowing that this frightening story was part of South Korean history a mere 37 years ago is bone-chilling and eye-opening. "A Taxi Driver" is centered around the history of the "Gwangju Uprising" which spanned the short time of May 18th to May 27th in the year 1980. Following the assassination of president Park Chung-hee in 1979, the head of the Defense Security Command, General Chun Doo-hwan, rose to become the un-elected coup leader of the country. On 17th May 1980, Chun expanded martial law to the entire country, supposedly due to rumors of North Korean infiltration into South Korea. Riots against the rule began around the country, but a group of protesting Chonnam University students in the Southwestern city of Gwangju were suddenly fired upon and beaten to death in an unprecedented attack by government military troops. However, the citizens of Gwangju did the unthinkable at the time and fought back. The people came together to rob local armories, police stations, and walk the streets in protests against the unnecessary deaths caused by the government's military forces. The violence quickly grew and Gwangju was suddenly cut off from the rest of the country, and the world. Roads were blocked off, phone lines were cut, and news of what was going on was forbidden.

Song Kang Ho ("Snowpiercer," "The Host") plays the starring role of Kim Man-seob (who simply is known as Mr. Kim through the film), a widowed taxi driver in Seoul. He takes care of his eleven-year-old daughter on his own and struggles to make ends meet with only his personal taxi service. Mr. Kim hears through the grapevine that there is a traveling foreigner who will pay a large amount to the taxi driver who takes him into Gwangju and he's in need of the money, so why not take the opportunity? That foreigner is German reporter Jürgen Hinzpeter (who they refer to as Peter or simply "reporter") and is played by Thomas Kretschmann (“King Kong,” “Avengers: Age of Ultron”). Having been working in Japan for years, Peter learns from a colleague that Gwangju in South Korea has been blockaded for some reason and no one can get in to find out why. He decides to set off in search of a compelling story and hopes find out what is truly going on.

Peter becomes Mr. Kim's passenger and they set off to Gwangju, but not without a few roadblocks along the way. After lying their way past the military blockades and Peter sneaking in forbidden recording equipment, they are soon met with the chilling sight of a worn-down city and a truck full of students. On the truck is Gu Jae-sik, who is played by Ryu Jun-yeol ("Reply 1988," "Lucky Romance"), a student who speaks fairly decent English in comparison to Mr. Kim. Peter takes him on to be his translator as he searches for more footage to shoot of the situation in Gwangju.

Over the course of a day, the Seoul taxi driver and German reporter are stunned by the situation that has risen in the city. Hospitals are filled to the brim with beaten and bloody students and bystanders. Even the city's taxi drivers no longer charge their passengers which stuns the Seoul driver, Mr. Kim. The riots are still going strong, but are easily beaten each time by the defensive military forces who quickly turn offensive. Word gets out that a reporter has made it into the city, and the citizens decide to work together to help the man gather footage and escape the city so that he can show the rest of the world their situation and send help. Mr. Kim, who just wished to live a quiet life, finds himself wrapped up in a situation he never wanted to be part of. However, he becomes attached to the people he has met during the journey, including Peter. Peter himself, who is negative and stoic for the majority of the film, also finds himself connecting to the people of Gwangju. A later scene in the movie shows the breaking point of the reporter as he sits in a room surrounded by the bodies of dead, innocent people. He weeps for the country he is not even a part of, and it becomes harder to make himself film the terrible sight. With hopeful words and support from Gwangju's people, Peter and Mr. Kim continue on and make their way back out of Gwangju and towards Seoul.

The movie is brilliantly shot. During the more action-based riot scenes, they use a loose camera rather than a static one and it puts the perspective of an oppressive situation into first person view. Most of the movie is shot outdoors with natural lighting, keeping the setting realistic and almost documentary-like. It also highlights a specific violent scene in which military troops are chasing the main cast in haunting, red lighting. We are soon met with death threats at gun-point and a chilling scene of Gwangju citizens having been stripped of their clothing and being beat senseless in an alley. It gets to the point that even when the citizens and students are seen waving white flags of surrender, they are being shot down with weapons in the middle of the street. This is highlighted by chilling music choices that are quiet and haunting. There's just enough of a heartwarming connection to the main cast in certain scenes, such as a dinner scene with the family of Gwangju taxi driver Hwang Tae-sool, played by Yoo Hae-jin ("Veteran," "The King and The Clown"). However, each happy scene seems to be followed by an equally devastating event, keeping the audience sitting on the edge of their seats in worry. Even there to review the film, I personally cried throughout a good 15 minutes of this movie, especially knowing so many innocent people were killed in real life.

At the end of the film, just before the credits rolled, an added bonus is shown through a video clip of the real Jürgen Hinzpeter is shown in his old age.

Overall, I would rate the movie a 9.3 out of 10. Of course, the English in the flm was awkward and choppy, but purposefully so. It kept the perspective of the difficulties of traveling in a foreign country alone, yet still proved that no language barrier can get in the way of an emotional connection with fellow humans. Perhaps the greatest part of the film was experiencing the sheer amount of character development from Mr. Kim and even Peter, especially knowing this was only over the course of a few days. Overall, this is a film that I loved enough to make me plan to purchase the DVD when it's released. The movie, which was a production effort created by Showbox, The Lamp Production, and Well Go USA Entertainment, has also been given a rating of 92% on popular film critic site, Rotten Tomatoes— a rare occurrence! In addition, it set a new record for the fastest Korean movie to sell 7 million tickets in 2017, even beating out sales by the highly-anticipate movie "Battleship Island." It has raked in over 42 million USD in sales. "A Taxi Man" is still showing in select theaters around the U.S., so feel free to check it out yourself! In the meantime, check out the trailer below! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbUwOP9HZQk CaptainMal has been into Korean entertainment for seven years now, since 2010. She occasionally travels to conventions in her area, showcasing her “Kpop Game Show." Although her favorite bands are Infinite, Super Junior, and VIXX, she boasts a love for a huge variety of artists. Other than Kpop, CaptainMal loves Disney, 80’s rock, Daft Punk, Gaming, and Orange Juice. Media: Well Go USA Entertainment, The Lamp Production Click to Post

#A Taxi Driver #A Taxi Man #k-film #Korean movie #movie review #opinion #Ryu Jun Yeol #song kang ho #The Lamp Production #Thomas Kretchmann #Well Go USA #WTK Review #Yoo Hae Jin

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