#i was learning japanese but i've put it back on the shelf for now as i learn italian; i plan to pick it back up after tho!!!

[whomst-am-i]

I finally saw the Barbie movie!! Let's talk about the reclamation of pink as a feminist movement.

First, let's start with some history of the color pink! Some may know that pink used to be associated with boys because it's such a bright and bold color. Blue was for girls, since it's much more muted and demure. Then, the Holocaust happened, and pink triangles were used to identify gay men like the star of David for Jews. Pink became associated with homosexuality, just after the Great Depression turned the people's suffering around to attack queer people as a scapegoat. (Fun fact, the word "scapegoat" comes from Jewish history!) Men were suddenly afraid to wear pink, for fear of being seen as effeminate, and it passed to women from there.

Fast forward a few decades, and everything for girls is coded in pink. The "pink tax" is coined in the mid-90s as a way to call out the markup of regular items as they turned into pink-splattered items "for women." Little girls are sold toys covered in pink, and hardly see anything in another color. The idea is that girls love pink, and sparkles, and pretty things. This era of Pink is where Barbie's signature colors really started to solidify. She's pink, and sparkly, and pretty - a little girl's dream!

Then, the little girls grow up, and they realize their performative femininity is distasteful in the grown-up world. They're not allowed to be pink and sparkly, just pretty, but only in a modestly sexual way. Adult women who partake in Pink are less mature, less demure. They don the blues of the past. They're not allowed to be feminine in the way they learned how to be as a child, because they learn that femininity is looked down on. Women are looked down on.

Then, young women grow up, and realize that no matter what they do, they're going to be looked down. The Barbie movie calls this out explicitly- you can't be too pretty, but not ugly either, you have to be maternal but can't talk about your kids too much, you have to have money but not more than your husband and you can't ask for it... the list goes on. Young women realize that femininity is a performance anyway, and you know what? They do fucking like pink! And sparkles! Fashion is fun! These "girly" things can exist in the same realm as intellectual pursuits, meaningful contributions, and a well-lived life. Pink was reclaimed as a force of positivity.

This is also where Lolita fashion comes from! Japanese women became to reclaim "cutesy" styles because it was seen as too childish. Pink is for children, of course, and women who wear it are immature and not ready for marriage (/sarc). So women who were uninterested in marriage leaned into the style as a way to repel unwanted bachelors. It's misunderstood in the West as hyperfeministic, but it's a countercultural movement in Japan.

So, now pink is back on the market. For both women who reclaim the color and for designers who still buy into the 'women will buy anything pink' myth, the revival of Pink is exploding into a trend that we call Barbiecore. In the culture of fast fashion, trends tend to be short lived. Barbiecore was approaching the end of its shelf life, but the introduction of the Barbie movie will revive it to novelty. I've already seen women pull the pink out of their closets (or put it back in) to dress up for the movie. Everyone looks fabulous, too.

[katrinamckee03]

Limiting Beliefs

An online writing course I'm taking has a section on "limiting beliefs". The things that prevent you from writing. The little ideas that get into your head. Gremlins, if you will, that come between you and getting your story onto the page.

We were asked to think about what our limiting beliefs were, and it brought me back to an incident in 2004. I was in my second year of my undergraduate degree. A Diploma of Arts/Bachelor of Arts (Professional Writing & Editing) course. I was doing really well, often receiving high marks for my work.

I was writing my first full-length novel as part of the course, as well as several short stories. I was learning how to edit and the different writing styles, from content writing and memoir, to fiction. When I wasn't writing for my course, I was neck-deep in fan fiction. Japanese anime was my current obsession, and I'd garnered a following in that specific fandom.

That year, the Diploma side of things decided to put out a short story collection as part of the Publishing class that I was in. We would oversee putting the book together right through to launching it. It would be printed off-site since our school didn't have a printing press capable.

I wrote a short story for the anthology. It was a humourous autobiographical retelling of some things my mother and I had gotten up to in recent months, including a paraphrasing of our banter. I have an excellent relationship with my mother, and when I showed her the story, we laughed over it. Others who read it also chuckled, saying it was good.

Then it all went horribly wrong.

Instead of using the editing class from our university, the teacher chose a class from a different university to edit the anthology. It was her class, and she in particular selected to edit my story herself.

What I got back wasn't my story. She'd rewritten it, changing it from witty banter between a parent and child into a mother and daughter who hated each other. What was once teasing jabs had turned into snarky insults. Her reasoning was "a real mother and daughter don't have that sort of relationship". Did I mention it was autobiographical?

I sat in the cafeteria and cried. When I was done, I contacted her to tell her that I was pulling my story from the anthology. "Too late," she said. "It's already locked in". I fought her, but in the end, she won. The story she'd rewritten went to print with my name on it.

On launch day, I was asked by the guest of honour which story was mine. "The mother and daughter story," I said. "Oh," he said. "The McDonalds story". He wasn't impressed. Neither was I. That ended our conversation.

I'd been burned badly. I didn't write anything original again until 2019 when I wrote my science-fiction novel "Portal". It comes out in mid-2024 from a publisher.

I know now that I had a bad editor back then. She committed the ultimate sin of editing - you never change the author's voice and never rewrite.

Over the years, I've still written fan fiction on and off, but I've never been as prolific as I once was. My writing has grown. So have I. I still have doubts, and they all go back to that teacher at university. I sometimes still cry about it. I've buried that anthology on my shelf, but it still haunts me.

That is my limiting belief. That I'm not a good writer. That I'll get burned again. It makes me scared to share my writing despite people always telling me it's good and I should "enter competitions". I do these days. I never get shortlisted, but it's still worth a shot.

I just hope I never get burned again.

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari! I hope things are going well for you. I was doing my usual re-reading of your Touya-nii series (who are we kidding? It's brilliant) and I realized something. I love the stories you write and I think a lot of your other followers too are always excitedly pouring into your inbox asking for you to tell us another story. The way you write emotion and scene is all so visceral and breathtaking. I for one am the type to get into the mood and be like "You know what? It's time for another story by Clari." Anyways, I also wanted to mention that I speak Japanese and one of the ways I memorized the kanji for the verb "to explain" was because it's written with the radical "older brother" and "speaking". All I could think about was Touya-nii being condescending and saying "Does nii-chan need to explain this to you?" I swear he lives rent-free in my head. Have a lovely week!

oh my sweet anon, i love you very much <3 thank you very, very much for such magnificent words!!! you are so lovely, and i appreciate your sentiments more than my words can express <333 i understand what you’re saying hehehe but in all honestly it truly IS time for another story by clari tho!!! like a NEW ONE. i’m a little irritated with myself because i genuinely did not expect bmb part 4 to take me as long as it is, and i have two other pieces that have been practically finished for nearly a month now, and i always have to hold back on just fricken posting them already because i promised u guys bmb would be posted next!!!

oh my gosh ahahaha no way!!!! that’s SO cool hehehe <33 i love that so so so much omfg anon i can’t stop laughing aaaah!! because that’s so HIM too yk??? ugh <333 AH thank you bb, i hope you have a fantastic week and that you’re doing well, too <3