#i was going to actually write out headcanons and instead this gradually morphed into the order of whispers's dossier lol

[anghraine]

I already have a long fic (and now a shorter one) about my headcanon version of the human female GW2 PC, but anyway, here are some factoids about mine at the outset of the GW2 story!

Name: Althea Fairchild

Age: 21 (b. 1304)

Birthplace: Ebonhawke, Ascalon (but moved with her family to Divinity’s Reach, Kryta, as a young child)

Residence: currently Minister’s Manor, Salma District, Divinity’s Reach (previously Langmar Manor, Rurikton, Divinity’s Reach)

Parents: Lord Edmund Fairchild of Ebonhawke (father, dead) and Minister Ailoda Langmar of Divinity’s Reach (mother)

Ethnicity: Ascalonian and Krytan (mainly Ascalonian, which she identifies with and is proud of)

Appearance: medium brown hair; grey eyes; light brown complexion; 5′2″ with a medium build; attractive but forgettably so

Other notable relations: Sergeant Deborah Fairchild of the Seraph (sister, presumed dead), Lady Elwin Fairchild of Ebonhawke (paternal aunt), Lady Irene Fairchild of the Vanguard (ancestor), Captain Samantha Langmar of Ascalon (ancestor), Lady Althea Barradin (namesake and cousin many times removed)

Other major connections: Lord Faren of Kryta (close friend), Countess Anise of the Shining Blade (mentor/trainer), Queen Jennah of Kryta (liege)

Other notes: performed well academically, but disinterested in research without direct application; a skilled mesmer, but disinterested in fighting within a military structure; hostile to the Charr, but not a Separatist.

Order status: under consideration. Further observation needed.

[s1st3r]

Soo... how would the Bad Batch react to a S/O that has a very snarky/dry sense of humor? Just always cracking jokes and finding humor in everything? (Love ur content btw <3)

Thank you for your request!!! And THANK YOU IM GLAD U LIKEY!!!!

Ok I have seen this but knew it would take me hours to write so I was waiting for the write moment! (get it? write = right? teehee) talk about a terribly dry sense of humour my goodness.

How Would The Bad Batch React to a Snarky/Witty/Dry Sense of Humour Significant Other (s/o)

Factz: Not even kidding, I feel like the boys would kill for a hella sassy partner in crime.

Hunter

Oh my gosh they are literally best friends!!! They speak in a very similar style to each other.

Hunter expects a little bit of snark from Cross, sarcasm from Echo, and quips from Tech, but when his s/o just dishes his dry humour right back at him the first time they meet, he's like "Why was that so... hot???"

So from then on, most of the dialogue exchanged between the two of them are like super sassy comments and witty replies, until it unintentionally gradually morphs into really heavy flirting. They get so into teasing each other, the whole batch can feel the tension in the air.

Of course both are oblivious of this for the longest time.

But when eventually they do figure it out and get together, the whole batch sigh in relief thinking "finally this intense pining is over"... But it actually just gets worse?

So now during missions, the two of you verbally dance around each other like you're in some comeback war.

In the middle of a serious mission:

Hunter: "I need you here now!"

S/O: "wow wow Hunter. babe. cool your jets. i know we haven't really done it in a while but we're in the middle of a mission and-"

Hunter: "As much as I love how you think mesh'la, I think you're misreading the situation."

His s/o also keeps ruining his *tough guy* persona. During briefs, his s/o keeps making him crack his skillfully honed poker face.

The teasing through dry humour is just a really fun and goofy way to connect to each other and is their common ground of affection.

Tech

We all know Tech is a witty boi, and man do we love him for it!

Tech finds his s/o's attitude quite entertaining.

He does like it when they use their snarkiness to defend him from people that give him a hard time, but he like his s/o's humour best when it's just the two of them having fun.

I feel like Tech would find it 10x funnier if his s/o was also really smart and able to understand his technical language, because they just pass these really witty/funny quips back and forth to each other that are actually hilarious but no one understands. It's like their own hidden language.

Now we've seen Tech smile and m a y b e chuckle a little before?? But so far, we've yet to see Tech actually laugh and I headcanon that Tech snorts when he laughs. (Has anybody seen the live action TMNT?? Kinda like how Donnie laughs in those). So ohmiGOSH it's so WhOlEsOmE when his s/o makes Tech laugh!! He's so CUTE!

The rest of the batch will be out getting supplies while Echo works of the exterior hull of the ship and Tech and his s/o fix up the systems inside.

Tech laying under a panel: "Hm, this wire seems to be adhered to a far less efficient arrangement." Tech's s/o wordlessly shuffles over from their panel to analyse the problem. Their shoulders touch as they lie side by side.

S/o: "Mm, I think you're right, but see here? It looks like it's been manually transfigured. Probably by Echo in one of our many quick fixes. It looks like he's done it so he can easily access and program the flight module."

Tech: "I'm going to rewire it to-"

S/o: "To that one right?" His s/o says, suppressing a smile as they point to clearly the wrong wiring. Tech's eyes narrow and his brow furrows.

Tech: "Of course not! That would compromise the-" He catches a glimpse of his s/o's cheeky grin, "oh you're joking." His s/o bursts out laughing and he can't help the smile that stretches over his face as he shakes his head.

By the end of the repairs, the batch come back to find you both practically rolling on the ground in snorting fits of laughter.

Their humour paired with their competence makes them super attractive to him.

Wrecker

Wrecker finds his s/o's dry humour the funniest thing in the galaxy. He is one of those blessings that will always laugh at your jokes.

Which is a relief cuz I have dry humour and almost no one ever laughs at my jokes rip.

I mean, you guys saw how he reacted in ep 1 when Omega DeStRoYeD those regs in the mess hall. He was so proud and supportive of her.

So yeah he's pretty much his s/o's hype man.

He loves that his s/o's humour means that they quite enjoy playful competition and games. So they're always playing random games together, even going so far as to arm wrestle (S/o: "But we both already know who's going to win... Me. Obviously.")

And sometimes he will let his s/o win, just because he thinks it's so cute when they start flexing their arms and boasting about how strong and amazing they are.

He knows they're joking. He knows they know he let them win. But even though they've never really beaten him, he still thinks they're strong and amazing.

There is always friendly banter between the two but what Wrecker loves the most is how easy his s/o makes things for him.

He's not a natural at romance, and often finds himself making mistakes or he might do something a little awkwardly. But instead of being mad, disappointed, or judgmental, his s/o just smiles or laughs it off and walks him through things.

He feels like he can always be himself around his s/o.

Crosshair

Again, it's canon and fanon that Cross is a bit of a grumpy pants so he obviously finds his s/o's wit irritating at first. Which his s/o finds annoying, so his s/o just does it more just to get under his skin.

Totally enemies to lovers trope. I see it no other way. FiGhT me.

His s/o would make jokes all the time but I see that one day, his s/o makes a dry joke and he gives them crap for it, and they've just had enough and so they absolutely *slam* him with snark, sass, and wit that cannot be rivalled by Crosshair himself. They get right up into his face; tension as thick as s o u p.

And then he just grabs their face and makes out with them.

His s/o's like "ok" and totally rolls with it.

The Bad Batch wonder why they don't fight as much anymore (not that they're complaining).

Now they both use their sass to bully the regs.

They kinda become this unbeatable pair of unrivalled attitude. Unlike Hunter and his s/o who use it to tease each other, while Cross and his s/o do that a little too, they mostly direct their humour and sarcasm outward. Cross's s/o is a little more good natured than him though and will pull him in when he goes a bit too far.

He generally finds his s/o's humour quite funny now (though he'll never admit it), and the fact that he smiles a little more doesn't go unnoticed by his brothers.

Echo

Ok while Hunter is master of the dry humour, Echo is KING of sarcasm.

Having said that, I feel like Echo would actually far more appreciate light humour over sass/snark/wit/etc.

I think after being through the crap he's been through, echo baby just needs a light hearted, positive beam of sunshine in his life and his s/o is it.

He loves that his s/o always has a way of making others laugh and smile, even on really hard missions and in rough times.

I think his s/o having a lighter humour also makes him feel safer. Like there's no chance of miscommunication whereby this s/o accidently hits a sensitive topic. His s/o sticks to surface level humour which makes it easy to digest.

They are also absolutely fantastic at telling funny stories which is a real treat when his s/o will retell stories about some of the missions the Bad Batch has done and they just execute the story perfectly.

Echo is in love with his s/o's laugh and thinks it's so cute when they giggle at their own jokes.

He'll never say it, but his s/o's humour sometimes reminds Echo of Fives and Cutup, which is a bit bittersweet for him.

They say that "a joyful heart is good medicine" and for Echo that couldn't be more true. His s/o's joyful heart and nature revive and heal him. He is so much happier because of them and will tell them so in between little kisses as his s/o giggles playfully at his gentle yet eager ministrations.

~ Sister

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