#i was constantly saying to myself 'maybe youre overreacting' while i wandered through life feeling weird when people said my name
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i think ive mentioned this before but like i cannot stress enough how fucked up i think it is that i started dissociating at such a young age and continued that for months and never realized
#crunchyposts#me ventilating#the mental illness chronicles#not as bad as others but like i was so young. im still young and this happened years ago so#and throughout those months i was like 'maybe the situation isnt as bad as i think it was'#meanwhile every time my brain tried to remind me of the situation i immediately started to forget that the world around me was real#tw dissociation#tw derealization#i was constantly saying to myself 'maybe youre overreacting' while i wandered through life feeling weird when people said my name#because i forgot that other people were aware of my existence#this did also make me a worse person i am a lot meaner to strangers now bc i forgot that they were also real#im better now i swear i know yall are real i know that im typing this#i know my name i dont feel as weird when i see pictures of myself#but i just get really mad on behalf of younger me being put in a situation that forced their brain to dissociate#there was probably someone i couldve talked to about this but i was barely aware of anything happening aroud me let alone the concept#of dissociation so#i say im ok now bc i dont want yall to worry im really fine now i just wannt to rant#wow i found old messages saying it caused me physical pain#and the next message was 'nevermind we're back to everything feeling fake we're good now' isnt that fucked up. trauma babyyyyyy
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