#i wanted to stay home to grieve max for a couple of days properly - but no - had to go to work and SMILE about other's people's cats

[neuromantis]

maybe i am the one who needs to go into a cabin in the woods and never contact outside world again. that spider jerusalem vacation.

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP S2 WISH LIST

Here is my wish list for ZEP future season(s):

This is based on a list I posted on another site after the finale. I've just expenaded on it. And added more things to the list: 

One: Joan = CEO.  Zoey or Max = Joan’s job (Zoey = Joan & Max = Zoey OR Max = Joan). -- Because they gotta keep Max around on the 4th, since it’s workplace centered show. And he’s free & looking for a job & he has loved working there & has been for 5 years, but he doesn’t want his old job back as a coder. This would allow them to deal with this the best. Without casting anyone new, and having the main cast all together in scenes, while also creating new dynamics... Because Joan is the new CEO (cause DMD is gonna be away for 6-19 months, so Joan is possibly not gonna be around as much for a while... a storyline written because of the actresses LG’s filming schedule conflict). So it’s either gonna be that Zoey takes Joan’s job (and Max Zoey’s job) or Max takes Joan’s job (and Zoey remains in hers...cause she has too manhy things to deal with currently to handle the responsibility of Joan’s job)

Or as an alternate option: Max does continue on his own path, and part of his character development (and part of more backstory for him, and his growth) will be his new career path. And I hope it won’t be on the 6th floor/at some other SrpkPoint team, but that he’d go on and start his own business or something. That’d be interesting, and source for many storylines. 

Two: Abigail returning from Africa & getting that internshop at Sprk Point. Tobin + Abigail (since KT has said he wants Tobin to fall in love) -- I really want to see Abigail again. and they did set up the possibility of that in S1. Also... this would allow Howie to return, too (as her dad now, not as Mitch caregiver)

Three: Max & Mo friendship. More of that. Team M&M being there for Zoey...at this time of grieving. The only two people who know about her superpower (the only two she’s told...cause the MRI technician might be “on the know” too? The third person who knew is not physically there anymore) 

Four: Max’s new look: beard (and locks). See: Skylar Astin’s social media posts during quarantine for the visual of the look. I mean... if we already had Tobin, David & Simon... all have a beard or a shadow of a beard...in the shows Pilot, then how/why would they (read: the network/studio) not allow Max to have one? The network made the actor shave for the show/S1, but... times they are changing. And the new look would fit... perfectly into the storyline. I mean.. Max is unemplyed for now, staying at home (not going to the offfice, so no “reason” to shave). Plus he said it himself... he’s looking forward to trying new things..etc. So it would make sense storyline wise, too. 

Five: Max & Tobin friendship - exploring more of this. It’s one of the dynamics we haven’t seen much in S1. But both Tobin 2.0 & Max 2.0 are extra great, and they’d work well together. 

Six: Tobin’s squirrel! Can he bring his pet squirrel to work again, please? 

Seven: More Team SparkPoint! More scenes, more songs for, more interactions with, more backstory of other member of the Team (Tobin, Leif, and everyone else) I really need there to be more song for Tobin/Kapil. 

Eight: The Max & Zoey office pool: Tobin being in charge of the bet “when will they get together”. Since everyone knows that Max has had a crush on Zoey for the longest time, and they’ve seen her sing “I’m Yours” to him (and probably more)... it’s time for this storyline. Because there is definitely some betting been going on about Zoey/Max, and if/when they will be together. 

Nine: More backstory to all (side) characters: The Clarke’s (Maggie, Zoey, David, Emily), Mo, Tobin, Leif, Joan, Max... How/When they started to work at Sprk Point. Their family. Their “outside work” life. Their personal experiences with grief (Zoey & Simon may be the only ones who have lost their dads, but Joan is defintely not the only person Zoey knows who has lost someone close... and she/we are just not aware ogf it yet)

Ten: Max & Simon: Both men agreeing to take a step back & take themselves out of the competition in Zoey’s mind, letting her have her alone time & family time after the funeral. Zoey taking time to think, and reflect...on things. And then sitting down to talk with both men (either all three together, or with each separately), and telling them everything/the truth. Telling Max about her connection with Simon and what happened on her “anger phase day”. Telling Simon about her connection and history with her best friend, Max and what happened on the day when the bad moon rose. And then either choosing one of them...or...if they are all open to it...then they could all be in a poly relationship... In other words: honesty from all. And no love triangle, cause that doesn’t work or fit anymore after S1. ETA [Dec 11th]: Oh, well...we all knew this wish of mine wasn’t fully gonna come true in early S2. The “triangle” is still there & both continue with their “heart songs” apparently, but we got a bonus out of it all: the two men are “best buddies” now. That’s something at least...

Eleven: Exploring the Max & Zoey relationship (co-workers, friends, romantic couple) through the eyes of others/people around them: We’ve seen Simon, who was an outsider & didn’t know them much, notice the connection between Max & Zoey. We’ve seen him say that he’s noticed how close the two are, and it’s also noticable when they are spending less time together. He’s even asked if the two are/have been a couple. So... he’s been aware that there is more to Max & Zoey than she has told him. Cause she keeps telling him they’re just friends & he has no reason to be jealous..etc... when he can see/sense that there is/was more... (and it’s possible that had she been honest with him from the start, he’d not “come between the two”...though IDK). How others see them. 

Twelve: Zoey admitting to herself that she hasn’t been fair with the two men in her life. Telling both the truth. Being open about her real feelings..for each. Zoey being more open with her own feleings, not running away from deep emotions. Not being scared of “what if-s”. Taking her own advice...to not keep it all (the grief) inside her, and instead talk about it...with loved ones. Dealing with it. And looking at things from a new, different perspective. Going after her joy... and realizing it’s not as far as she thinks. Realizing that she can live and love again after her dad is gone. Zoey admitting to herself that she formed an emotional grief bond with Simon only/mainly/mostly because she had a crush on him and wanted him for his body. That that was her motivation. Cause that was why she was so eager to help him, and why she continued her emotional affair with him. 

THIS IS WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN...FOR ME TO “LIKE” THE MAIN CHARACTER. Until she claims it’s all due to the powers or grief & won’t accept it’s her own choices & doing, I’m not gonna be able to fully enjoy the storylines. She may be grieving, she may be “stressed out” due to the power and she may have a “hot mess” personality in general, but since for me none of it is logical & I see her behaviours and all as irrational & controversial, I can’t “get” the character. To me her behaviour and all don't match up (and s much as I try convincing myself it’s cause of grief or powers or...) I cannot convince myself that those explain it. Hence she seems “OOC” to me... back & forth, all depending too much on the seasons set up (things happen in premiere, for sweeps, for finale... cause there have to be twists then, so even if they don’t add up or aren’t logical, they happen...) 

As Maggie put it, when Zoey lashed out on Howie: “We do not talk to people like that.” AND as Mo out it “don’t blame it on the power, this one’s all on you”. Meaning... she cannot claim that all of it is due to her grief or powers. And  personally need her to stop being in denial & claiming it’s “due to grief/powers”, when its been made clear she’s aware she is actually just trying to stay in denial.... 

Thirteen: Zoey + therapy & Simon + therapy: both taking time to properly grieve, and heal. And acknowledge their mistakes: Simon (emotionally) cheating on Jessica (he may not be a bad person, but he did a “bad thing”). Zoey leading both men along and being dishonest.

Fourteen: Maggie going back to work, continuing her landscape/floral business...without Mitch. But shell need someone to help her. The perfect candidate would be Autumn. She loves all things nature! Also...any excuse to have her (Stephanie) back. 

Fifteen: Paul (the family friend, who we saw in 1x06 & 1x12) being back. He’s the most likely candidate for a possibly romantic storyline for Maggie. IF they decide to write one. (and we all know TV shows like to write all that)

Sixteen: Mitch still being there... even if he’s not. In their dreams. In flashbacks. In Zoey-ality...singing to her. Any excuse to have Micth (Peter) back...as much as possible. And the “Mitch effect”: how he’s shaped everyone (Maggie, Zoey, David, Emily, Max...) who knew him... his “ideas” living on through them. Big Moments... 

Seventeen: Baby Mitch [cause, let’s be real, David & Emily are gonna name their baby boy after his grandpa...in some way or form)! David & Emily as parents. David as a father... even if he’s had doubts about himself as a dad [the whole “I dont think I’m manly enough” plot they did] 

Eighteen: Aunt Zoey -- Zoey as an aunt to “baby Mitch”. David & Emily asking Zoey & Max to be the babies godparents (they would...cause he’s like a family, and they have no idea about any of the triangle drama...probably). Zoey babysitting baby Mitch. Zoey & Max babysitting baby Mitch. Cause let’s face it - they would  not let Zoey do it alone - she’d be too anxious/nervous... #classictrope

Nineteen: Throwbacks to: The day that Max & Zoey met..5 years ago..a the company orientation day, and to other big moments in their friendship (how the movie nights started...). Leif’s first day...which was 7 years ago... sao hes been there longer. The day Max met Zoeys family, and seeing many of the moments they had together (any excuse to have Micth/Peter back) - the holidays, the summer barbeques...  and how everyone knew about Maxs feelings for Zoey. 

Twenty: More Zoey/Mo friendship. And more about her other neighours. Maybe her shy downstairs neighbour is ready for that moonwatching adventure on the roof? Speaking of which...can we get some astronomy/math storylines (backstory and expansion of Zoey’s interests - how it started, what she’s doing now...)

Twenty-One:  More singing & dancing...in whatever form. In Zoey’ality/Zoeys head, in dreams, in the form of karaoke or flash mobs. And one thing’s for sure... we need Zoey to SING...for real...to Max..once she’s made up her mind and chooses him. Whether it’s a flash mob, or karaoke..or just... “serenading” him... but she is her fathers daughter, and to parallel Max’s flash mob love confession & honouring her dad’s love for big moments, bigger memories...her “confession” should also be in the form of song...and dance.

Twenty-Two:  More people finding out about the power...though I don’t really see her “trusting” this secret to anyone but the people she already has told. Except for, maybe, her mom. It could help her if she’d know that Mitch communicated with her/them in a way...during his last months. And maybe she’d tell Joan. But... I actually do not see her telling Simon... even if they do make her choose him for now...cause she’ll make bad choices due to being a grieving mess. And unlike with her best friend, where she can request any feelings/heart song..or none at all... I don’t see her doing the same with her office crush, so any possible make out session will be ruined...as now it seems he is emotionally available, and “likes her back”, so he’s about to sing to her...during such moments. Yet...if they do get closer and she doesn’t tell him... that alone will drive them apart..the secret(s). And yet...if she will tell him...then I do not see a scenario where he will be okay with it, and as chill as Mo, or even as mildly chill as Max was. Because his entire belief in them is based on his belief that she has this natural connection with him...when in fact she’s using a CHIRP style device that helps her read his mind/heart. And unlike others, I do not see the possibility of him being chill or OK with her power, and her not telling him.

Twenty-Three:  CHIRP vs ZOEYALITY...the parallels between the superpower & the new tech/gadget

Written: over summer 2020 & updated with a few ETAs: Dec 11th, 2020

[suckmyballshoney]

F1 Quarantine Day 7 - Season

I’m being productive today! (what do you mean I’m supposed to follow my online class right now?)

Have a sad Pierre fic, while I panic for what to write for tomorrow

“I hate everything…” Pierre mumbled to himself as he faceplanted the small couch of his room in the motorhome. He turned his head slightly on the side to be able to breathe, then stayed there for what felt like an eternity.

This year had been long, so long! A rollercoaster of emotions, from the most genuine happiness to the darkest sides of his mind. A proper mess that would be associated to his name for the remaining of his life. Now, he was back from the last race, the end of the season, for just a few minutes of calm before the media storm got back at him again. He was tired. No, not strong enough of a word.

He felt drained.

His eyes were fixated on the empty wall opposite to him, only his open bag and his helmet that he threw there when he came in were in sight. The large ‘Red Bull’ drawing on the side of the helmet taunted him once again and he adverted his gaze, looking everywhere but there.

At least, next year there would be no doubt anymore, no Red Bull written on his clothes, remembering the lowest point of his season. Alex was confirmed as Max’s 2020 teammate, Pierre would stay at Toro Rosso – no AlphaTauri, he really had to remember that now – and the chances for that to move again were quite low. And Pierre would find stability again.

At that point, that was all Pierre needed. Stability.

This year had been hectic, he had lost count of the number of times a new event came crashing down on his already unsteady mental state. First, the growing pressure at Red Bull. What should have been the biggest opportunity of his life quickly turned into a disaster. “Measure up to Max”, “measure up to Daniel”, “be better”, “don’t crash”, “we won’t forgive any error” … And at the first mistake, his fate was sealed and his brain couldn’t keep up with the pressure put on his shoulders at every new race. His only comfort had oddly been the presence of his teammate. As the rest of the team tried to push Pierre to keep up with the other to the point that the simple mention of the Dutchman’s name would give him cold shivers, Max had always done his best to stay attentive to Pierre’s struggles and help when he could – Charles called that strategy, Daniel called that Max’s hidden soft side.

Then, the demotion. “Don’t worry, you will finish the season”, fucking liars. His wall at home still remembered that particular phone call when he was told he was going back to Toro Rosso, a large trace imprinted by the violent throw of a glass, now and then he would still find some small shards in the paint. And Max, the little fucker, knew already and didn’t say anything. Oh, Pierre had been furious toward him – as usual, Charles didn’t help for that until Max showed up at his place at the end of the summer break when the two friends were together to apologize and explain. Going back to Italia had been painful, the feeling of failure following him in every corner of the tech centre despite the welcoming smiles of his old team. He and Daniil hadn’t talked at that time, and the next second Pierre was in Spa…

Pierre was in Spa, and then he was at a funeral. Ha, the rest of the year was a happy little dream compared to this, to the grieve and loss of his best friend. He still remembered the evening of that day, he and Charles sprawled silently on the latter’s couch, tear tracks still shining on the Monegasque’s cheeks as they emptied an ice cream pot. Pierre’s brain had shut down earlier in the day, and he had been left with no emotion other than the need to crash in his bed and hide until he no longer wanted to jump out the window. Only Daniel and Max coming with enough ice cream for a regiment – so they wouldn’t lack any – broke through his last resolve and Pierre had ended up crying for three days straight, Charles’s arms surrounding him as he sobbed with him until they fell asleep. Bittersweet memory imprinted in his mind.

The weeks after that were quite blurred in his mind, he had tried his best to put everything aside and not disappoint more than necessary. To his own surprise, despite being completely out of it most of the time, he had managed to salvage his end of season. “Because you’re good at it”, Max would say, “Horner and Marko were just to stupid to get that out of you”. Maybe…

The Brazilian GP was also blurry, but for extremely different reasons! To be honest, he barely remembered his Sunday evening – blame that on Daniel and Kimi and their “victory shots”. Maybe the others were right, maybe he was not that bad at racing in the end. Anthoine would have been proud of him, for sure. And maybe he was proud of himself too, who knows. He didn’t know. However, one thing he knew for sure, is that he was still in the course for the unofficial title of Best of the Rest driver. A consolation prize he would have LOVED to grab. One last fight, against Carlos, to prove his worth, his talent, his capability. To make this year a little more bearable.

Pierre groaned, hiding his face in the cushion again. “Fuck you too, Lance.”

Of course, the last race couldn’t go as planned. Carlos was starting last, Alex was quite far in the points, Pierre’s chances to get that desired sixth place in the Championship were at their highest, and before he could do anything, anything! He was dead last in a damaged car.

Poor Lance had tried to apologize at the end of the race, it was just a simple mistake, one Pierre could do at any point too, but didn’t even have the time to open his mouth that Pierre, usually sweet and caring and posed Pierre, had screamed profanities at him for ruining his race. A miracle no cameras had been there at that point.

Jeez, he had to apologize to Lance now…

He had had to avoid the McLaren drivers after that, Carlos dancing around in the paddock was a painful sight to his teary eyes. The whole year came crashing down on him, and now he found the silence in his room deafening, close to give him a headache.

In conclusion, he was not good enough for the top teams, he couldn’t even blame Max because he was too understanding, so no one else than himself to blame, every time he felt like calling a friend for help he remembered one of his best friends would never pick up the phone now, and despite the highness provided by the Brazilian race, he was the best at nothing. Nothing.

The door opened and closed quietly, the person that came in walking toward the couch without a word. Pierre felt the sofa dip under the weight of the unknown intruder, and when Pierre turned around to yell at them to go away, he found himself looking in the brown eyes of his actual teammate Daniil. They watched each other silently for a few seconds, Daniil impassive as always, Pierre looking more and more confused. Finally, Daniil sighed heavily, lifting a hand to rub it on Pierre’s back.

“I know how it feels.”

That was all Daniil said, and it took Pierre a few more seconds to understand before his eyes went wide and he sat up properly to throw his arms around the Russian man. Another couple of seconds, and Daniil returned the hug, squeezing the younger man against him as Pierre started crying profusely. He was exhausted, upset, angry, he couldn’t keep all that inside, and Daniil really was the one who would understand him the best.

[5sos-ruined-us]

History C.H

Summary: “Let’s take a history lesson through our lives.”

Word Count: 1.7k

Rating: All

Pro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 || Masterlist

The next few days was a blur of me cooped up in my room while Sam knocked on my door to get me out. I didn't want to leave. I stayed in the corner of my room with my hoodie pulled over my face as I grieved. Calum texted me everyday to make sure I was okay. I called him over once when Sam was out to get some stuff for the house. The pain being too much for me to handle on my own.

The day Calum stayed with me in my room to hold me, I realised that I'd much rather being with someone else than mourn on my own.

"You're out." Sam froze when he came home and looked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I realised being on my own wasn't helping much." I shrugged as I pulled a glass from the cabinet.

"Was it because of that Calum kid?" He cocked an eyebrow, placing the grocery bag on the counter. I didn't say anything as I filled my glass with water. "You know," He leaned on the counter, "I still haven't met him properly, and I find it fitting as your brother to know who my baby sister is dating." He smirked. I smiled as I sipped on my water,

"You'll meet him properly soon." I chuckled, "I'm scared you'll like him too much that you'll hog him from me. I want him for myself right now." I joked.

"He's that great?" He teased.

"Haha." I rolled my eyes sarcastically, "But yes, he did convince me to be around other people. He's upstairs actually. I called him over." I said.

"No monkey fun while I'm in the house, please." He joked.

"So if you're not home it's okay?" I cocked my own eyebrow.

"Smart ass. It's not okay at all for me." He huffed out, "But if you really want to, do it while I'm out." He laughed and ruffled my hair. I giggled as I walked back up to my room where Calum was sitting on the bed petting Max. I sat down and handed him the glass,

"Sam's home." I said as he took the glass. "He said he wants to really meet you properly, but I told him I'm scared he'll steal you away from me." I giggled.

"You make me sound like I'm the best person in the world." He shook his head as he drank the water. "But he really wants to meet me properly?" He asked, putting the glass down. I nodded. "Oh god, now I need to impress your brother." He pouted.

"You don't need to. I buttered you up for him since you're a really great guy anyways." I chuckled, lying down. He smiled,

"It's still your brother." He laid down beside me. I turned so that I was facing him and smiled as I poked his lip with my finger. He scrunched up his nose, "What are you doing?" He asked.

"So squish." I stuck my tongue out. He opened his mouth and bit at my finger. I pulled my hand away with wide eyes as he laughed. "No chomping." I wagged my finger at him. He smiled and brought his hand to my face. I closed my eyes as his thumb ran across my cheekbone. "Thank you for being here." I whispered. He smiled,

"Anything to make you feel better, love." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes and let him pull me closer until I was snuggled up to his chest. "Get some rest, babe. You'll feel a bit better in the morning." He whispered. My stomach flipped at the mention of 'babe'. I closed my eyes for at least an hour, until I could hear snoring from both Max and Calum. I looked up at Calum's sleeping face and smiled slightly to myself as I realised how cute he looked.

His entire face was the most peaceful I had ever seen him and his lips were parted slightly as soft snores came out. His eyelashes rested on his chubby cheeks and his brown hair was messy and flat on his head. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his jaw before getting myself comfortable and fell asleep for the first time since Eli's death.

The funeral was held a few days after that. I stepped into the cemetery with Calum holding onto my hand,

"It'll be okay." He whispered before kissing my head. I squeezed his hand before we continued to walk towards the grave. Elizabeth's parents were sitting on the chairs laid out as well as Michael's family. He looked up at me and stood up,

"Nyra," He came over.

"I'm sorry." I smiled sadly.

"What is there to be sorry about? I should be sorry that you had to see her go like that." He ran a hand through his already messy hair. I looked at the open casket to see her pale body wrapped in a black dress and her eyes closed.

"She was really something else." I chuckled, "She bet me that if she died first, I have to get drunk the night of her funeral and pass out wasted." I shook my head, "I didn't think it would be so soon." I looked at her for a bit longer before the priest started speaking,

"We would like to begin this funeral of Elizabeth Harlequin, aged 17." He spoke. We all sat down and Matt turned to me. I nodded at him. He closed his eyes and turned back to the ground. "Elizabeth, also known as Eli was a special child..." My head buzzed out his words as I stared at the open casket. Her fingers were wrapped around the bouquet of black flowers, the familiar dark red nail polished chipped at the edges of her nails.

"Nyra." Calum nudged my arm.

"Huh, what?" My head snapped towards him. He gestured to the priest,

"As Elizabeth's closest friend, would you like to say a few words to honour her life?" He asked.

"O-Oh," I stuttered out as I stood up. I walked over to the small podium and pulled a crumpled up note from the pocket of my black dress. I opened it and looked at the messily scribbled words before crumpling up and putting it back in my pocket. "What's the one thing everyone knew about Elizabeth?" I asked, looking up at her family, "She was tough. She was in fact one of the strongest people I knew. At school people.." I can't remember what I said. I only knew that I was speaking true from my heart and that Elizabeth would prefer it that I didn't use what I planned just so that I was truly sincere. I stepped off the podium once I was done and stood at the casket. I pulled out one of the few lighters she gave me and slipped it into her hands, "Just in case there are cigarettes with you." I joked. I sat down at my seat and wrapped my hand around Calum's.

"She's be really happy if she saw you say that." Michael whispered, turning to me, "The way you put the note back into your pocket and thought of that on spot."

"I know, that's why I chose to do it instead." I nodded. I turned to Calum and noticed his attention was up in the clouds. "Calum?" I questioned but he didn't react. I waved my hand in front of his face, "Earth to Calum?" I looked at him. He blinked a while before turning to me,

"Sorry, zoned out a bit." He murmured.

Calum's POV

"Please take care of her." She whispered, "She's the only person I could actually trust in my life. I don't want anything happening to her." She cupped my face, "You're a great kid, Calum. You both got really lucky." She smiled.

"What happened?" I asked her, "I thought your wounds weren't that bad." I furrowed my brows. She let out a chuckle as she pulled her hands away,

"I never told anyone this, but I was sick. Really sick. So when I got hit in the eyes and stabbed a couple time, my energy went because I was so scared I started to trash my room. When I heard Max barking, I knew I couldn't hide how scared I was to Nyra. But I didn't want to tell her I was sick. She was already worried enough, making her brace for it would've been even worse." She looked at her own body in the casket then down at the black dress she was wearing, "I never thought I'd be wearing this dress while you guys were still alive." She chuckled to herself.

"Nyra's trying really hard." I blurted out. She turned back to me. "She didn't sleep for 5 days straight after you died. She didn't talk to anyone, she didn't even talk to Sam. It took a lot, but I managed to convince her out of her room." I said.

"I'm sorry for that. I didn't mean to cause this much hurt to her but," She crouched down in front of me, "Sometimes things happen, Calum. And when these things happen, you can just wish that you could turn back time because you know you'll never get to change it." She stood back up and looked down at her hands that were fading, "I have to go. I'm gonna see where I'm going." She stepped away from me as her body slowly started fading more. "Take care of her, please."

"I will." I nodded as I watched her close her eyes and disappear.

"Earth to Calum?" Nyra's voice called from beside me. I blinked a couple times to get ahold of my surroundings before shaking my head into reality.

"Oh, sorry. I zoned out." I mumbled out. She nodded and turned back as the casket started lowering.

"I'm gonna miss her so much." She sighed as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"I know," I sighed as well as I watched the casket disappear into the ground.