#i want y'all to know it was so tempting to have a mrs doubtfire help is on the way dear help is on the way moment but i didn't

[serickswrites]

You Can Lead a Bitch

Warnings: head injury, blood, amnesia

“Whumpee! Whumpee! Can you hear me?” Caretaker shouted through the rubble. 

They couldn’t believe that Whumper would be so reckless to set off the pipe bomb inside the office space. But Whumper was irrational and deranged. They came out mostly unscathed--just a few minor cuts and scratches. But they couldn’t find Whumpee. 

Whumpee had been standing closest to Whumper. Had been closest to the bomb. The fist around Caretaker’s heart, clenching it so tight that they couldn’t breathe, wouldn’t let go until they found Whumpee. 

As they sifted through the rubble, they heard a groan. “Whumpee?” Caretaker shoved the broken pieces of desk, of ceiling tiles, of anything to get to the person below the pile. It had to be Whumpee. It just had to be. 

Whumpee’s hair was coated in dust and blood. “Whumpee!” Caretaker sagged with relief. 

Whumpee groaned but didn’t respond. They blinked unfocused eyes up at Caretaker. 

“Don’t move, Whumpee, help is on the way.” They reached down to stroke Whumpee’s cheek, to offer them some physical comfort while they waited for someone to pull them out of the rubble. 

Whumpee flinched away from their touch, unfocused eyes going wide. “Wha?”

“Whumpee, it’s ok. It’s me, Caretaker. Whumper set off a bomb. You’re going to be ok. We’re just waiting for the fire department. You’re ok.”

And then Whumpee asked the most heart breaking question Caretaker had ever heard with quiet, slurred words, “Wh-Wh-Who arrrrre yo-yo-you?”