#i want to make it clear I don't think therapy is bad or that keefe shouldn't go. i think he just needs to be approached differently

[bookwyrminspiration]

No thoughts only Keefe training under Elwin to become a healer.

Just think about it, for a while now I feel as if Keefe has seen himself as someone whoes only capable of destruction. Growing up he sort of defaulted to chaos and pranks, and doesnt really seem to put any thought into the more intimate stuff if you know what I mean? (I haven't read the books in a bit so forgive me if I'm wrong but : Ex : I feel like if a friend of his were to be hurt, his immediate reaction would be "how can I punish the person who hurt my friend" (that sounds so intense but yknow its normally like, mostly harmless prank) rather than "what can I say to this person to make them feel better)

And he says things along the lines of "Im not good with this emotion stuff" multiple times in the first few books, despite literally being an empath and also..not...really ...being that bad...at comforting people. (sometimes). Which just further goes into the point of seeing destructive" nature n such.

THATS A LONG RANT BUT I JUST WANNA SEE HIM UNLEARNING THAT STUFFF

(also with his new ability ,, ik we've mostly seen the harmful things it can do, but given how vauge it is I cant imagine it would be hard to turn it into a positive thing (once he gets more control))

oh I do love a good healer!keefe, especially when it comes with a healthy dose of Dadwin.

I think I understand what you're talking about in that first part, with how he's an agent of chaos and trouble and generally makes things worse/messes them up and that's just how he sees himself now. Which is an interesting contrast with his status as the artist of the group as well, though he does undersell his talents in that area. He dismisses the things he can create because he associates himself with so much trouble and pain that of course he couldn't make anything beautiful. I suppose another way to phrase it is that he's not delicate. He's precise and methodical (at times), but his existence is not gentle. And because of that, he's not great at being intimate either. He can't approach it soothing and attentive, he just ends up barreling into those situations and being vague as he desperately and frustratedly tries to back out of it. That's in part Shannon making his thoughts/emotions obvious for us as the readers and using the excuse that Sophie is oblivious and that's why she doesn't notice what to us is so obvious, but we can also attribute it to how clumsy Keefe is--not physically, but more socially. For an empath, he's really not that great at relationships (I don't mean this romantically, I mean any relationship he has).

Just realized that you said something about him being bad at emotions despite being an empath. That's what I get for just going ahead with the first thought I think of without reading everything!! He just doesn't view himself positively at all! Keefe is walking around here like I am a disaster in elven form and sees what he wants to see instead of who he is. he sees himself as disruptive and unhelpful (he does think he can help, just not in the ways people want him to) and no matter what he does he'll rework whatever happens to fit with his view of himself and the world. If he found someone breaking down and crying and offered the most comforting, perfect words of support, he'd walk away from that encounter convinced he hadn't done enough, that someone else could do it better.

That's a big thing with his character, too! Comparing himself to others. A lot of comparing himself to Fitz, some comparing himself to Tam, and maybe some Dex but that one not as much. He's constantly finding ways to tell himself that he's not worth anything and that there are people who are better than him and more capable than him and people he can never live up too. He's setting that up in his mind so no matter what happens he'll take it as reinforcement of that belief.

That was a lot of Keefe analysis without talking about the healer aspect of it, but I wonder if Keefe could find ways to appreciate and accept himself by telling others to do the same. Because he would never tell anyone else to treat themselves the way he's treating himself, so I think it's something he hasn't even realized yet. And one day there might be that little click of oh. all these people I'm helping and I'm trying to get them to stop thinking like me, yet I'm letting myself go on like this. And if he's alongside Elwin I know he would've been trying to teach Keefe this and slowly incorporate the unlearning into his daily life and letting Keefe figure it out on his own. Because as soon as something looks like help Keefe shies away from it, so instead of outright helping, Elwin set Keefe up to help himself. Boom.

That's another thought I have about Keefe sometimes, the ways people say like "oh he needs therapy," which is true but also...not? This is just my personal opinions on the subject nor am I trying to discredit the effectiveness of therapy! I just know that a lot of therapy being effective is the openness and willingness to engage with it, to take what you're told and apply it to your life and be honest about it with others. Maybe a better way to phrase it is that Keefe needs the lessons taught in therapy and the benefits of therapy, without actually going to therapy. Because I really don't think he'd be open to the idea of talking to someone and engaging in the experience. But then again, that's just my personal opinions on the nuance of it all!

So perhaps by becoming a healer, he could learn those lessons and unlearn what he "knows" (doesn't actually know just thinks it's true) about himself that way. Just a thought though. By helping others he learns to help himself in a way that enables him to be more open, if that makes sense.

as for the ability, he really did panic and make an impulse decision (that he himself said he would regret) before the full scope of what is actually is was realized. He saw a possible potential it could have and went nope!! it didn't have time to settle, to solidify, to express itself in any other way that what he saw as negative. That ties back into seeing himself as destructive no matter what, as well. he sees this ability as negative no matter what, regardless of what he does with it. I will admit that his panicked slippery slope reasoning does irk me a little, like he gives his mom way too much credit (in my opinion) for what she could've done to him. She did two very broad things, hitting him with light and dark at the same time and he somehow thinks it has the precision for her to accurately make a super specific ability?? He's out here like "oh no she's made it so I can predict people's abilities and force them to manifest so she can take advantage of the entire population and she has this whole plan with that specific ability as the key." Like...no. I do not believe that for a single second, Keefe.

On the one hand he was panicking and it was really easy to see these wildly impossible things as conceivable, but on the other hand he really went out there. This is a personal grievance though

but back to the original topic!! I think Keefe would be a fascinating character to have as a healer for a variety of reasons, so thanks for bringing up the topic again! there's so many different avenues to explore !!