#i want so much it's disgusting
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i think i live in constant grief for all the lives i'll never live
#my poetry#poetry#quotes#thoughts#it's unfair#i want to be a singer a lawyer an actress a doctor a professor a student a writer a muse#i want to know what it's like to be famous and also to be absolutely unknown#i want to give the world all the love i have but i want to receive some too#i want so much it's disgusting
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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anyone else remember this weird little show that toon disney used to air back in the nineties?? inside out focused on the lives of the emotions inside the mind of thirteen-year-old riley andersen, as they worked together to guide her through each day. while essentially just being a workplace comedy, the show quickly garnered praise from critics and fans alike for its unique premise, strong and relatable characters, and positive messaging on emotional regulation for its young audience.
at first, it looked like the show was going to become a staple saturday morning cartoon. season 2 even added four new emotions to the original cast of five! unfortunately, it seemed like disney had other plans. clocking in at 52 episodes, inside out only managed to reach around half of the golden standard of 100 episodes for rerun syndication before it abruptly got cancelled. the reason why has been the subject of speculation in hundreds of online forum threads over the past thirty or so years. but who knows! if we drum up some more conversation about it, maybe we can get a reboot!!
#SORRY about the tongue in cheek caption i just wanted to get a lil silly with it...fully immerse myself in the bit#ANYWAYS MANNN THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN. i think this ended up looking more 90s cartoon network than 90s disney but. shrugs.#it was a blast coming up with 90s designs for everyone....also 90s joy is like. ridiculously fun to draw. btw.#inside out#inside out 2#inside out joy#inside out sadness#inside out disgust#inside out anger#inside out fear#inside out anxiety#inside out envy#inside out ennui#inside out embarrassment#inside out fandom#sketchbook
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do people really just wanna be fans of the hunger games and not mention palestine at all? like honestly? do you really wanna just support fictional uprisings and fighting back against fictional oppression but don't actually give a shit about it in real life? did y'all genuinely learn and internalize nothing from this series????
#the hunger games fandom has absolutely disgusted me the past 8 months#there's literally ZERO discussion of palestine & the genocide & the explicitly obvious parallels the books draw to what's going on#but no. everyone just wants to talk about everlark and fucking toast babies#its gross as fuck#its hard to be excited about the new book (which i am) because i now hate this fandom so much#fandom clearly didn't learn shit & even if they did they don't actually care about real brown people that are being visibly slaughtered#sunrise on the reaping#the hunger games#free palestine#thg#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#hunger games#suzanne collins#haymitch abernathy#panem#katniss everdeen#palestine
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THEY ARE SO INSUFFERABLE AND HORRIFIC AND AWFUL BUT SO AMAZING AND DORKY AND THIS PART IS SO UNFAIRLY FUNNY AND CUTE AND WHOLESOME-- PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE MORE SCREENTIME IN S2. PLEASE LET THEM TAKE OVER THE SHOW. I KNOW THEY'RE HORRIBLE PEOPLE BUT I NEED MORE OF THE VEES.
And the most important scene of them all (to me):
First of all, how is Vox doing that. Second, you just know that these two douchebags are going to bang so hard with Alastor getting his ass kicked replaying in the background after this. I hate them so much.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin hotel vees#voxval#staticmoth#all their scenes in this episode were so freaking good holy shit#all their scenes in show are great actually#like-- oh my god#they are so much fun to have around#vox was literally me the entire time (minus the alastor hating)#and their evil little happy celebrating at the end was so cute it's unreal#i wanted the vees to sing together at some point and i'm so happy it was delivered vox and val sound fantastic together#and that sneaky staticmoth kiss at the end YES YES YES YEEESS#i love everyone in this show (except adam) but the vees are just built different#with adam dead can they please appear more? please? i need more of these disgusting assholes committing disgusting crimes and gay wrongs#''the future of hell belongs to the vees'' is a sentiment i can and will get behind please take over#i just finished the season finale and it gave me the dopamine rush i really needed today i'm so happy AAHHHHHH#i can't stop rewatching this scene someone please help me i can't escape their clutches i've been here for hours please#ok i'm clogging these tags so i'm stopping here but AAGHHHBKFGXGGGBB#anyways good night
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Keep making the Binghorse. We gotta ward off people from entering this fandom. We need to keep it pure. I fr don't want this fandom to become famous. I'm scared that there will be toxic fans left and right.
HAHA I absolutely understand the sentiment. I feel a bit contradictory since I want more people to appreciate SVSSS, but the at the same time I like small tight knit communities and I personally can’t handle large fandoms whatsoever. 😭
Although I do feel as though describing the SVSSS as pure is very funny for how lawless this fandom is. But behavior wise, it is definitely a very positive and supportive space!! I haven’t met anyone or seen anything unpleasant since I’ve entered the fandom. Albeit, it’s only been a few months since I’ve started interacting with the fandom, and over half a year since I first read SVSSS, so I have no clue what horror stories the SVSSS fandom has. (I honestly haven’t interacted with that many SVSSS fans tbh…. Even though I want to.)
In addition, funny enough, I feel as though the book almost acts as its own barrier of entry. SVSSS isn’t the type of book you can read once unless you’re good at reading against the grain and noticing all the nuances and subtext. I know the first time I read SVSSS, SVSSS disturbed and confused me so badly. I talked to a few other people who read SVSSS once, who said that LBH and SQQ’s relationship felt like Stockholm syndrome. But people who’ve read SVSSS several times will know, that is not the case, and that SQQ is an INSANELY UNRELIABLE narrator.
I honestly find it funny how effective Binghorse or all the other skin creatures is at filtering toxic fans.😂
There’s always a general reaction to the skin creatures: “Omg, cute!!”, “wtf, but I like it”, “wtf”. Or getting blocked, or death threats. (I haven’t received any…? I don’t think…? One message I received is definitely debatable since I can’t tell if it’s sarcastic or not….😭)
But regardless, I’ll definitely keep drawing Binghorse!!! It’s actually really enjoyable!
#mushyrt#asks#geez why did I write so much#but I genuinely want to analyze this#SVSSS is probably the most wholesome fandom I’ve ever seen#in other fandoms I’ve seen/been in#you’d hear tons of horrible shit#but like why is this the case??#is it age range/demographic?#is it the different ways we consume media?#and to continue a little more onto binghorse#it’s really hilarious how quickly people have adapted to binghorse#like I’ve been posting Binghorse on a daily basis over a month now#on my Insta stories#and people shift so quickly from being disgusted by binghorse to gradually finding hi#him* cute#man the psychology classes and sociology classes really have changed how my brain works…#I didn’t expect myself to type so much#edit: I was wondering why Binghorse looked so weird… it’s because I forgot to draw his bits of hair at the side of his head 😭#tw: body horror
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living for alhaitham's inherent curiosity about kaveh being the catalyst for an odd textual mystery...??
he already read the Very Bad novel in the house of daena before kaveh got hold of it? but then seeing it in their study and knowing kaveh must have checked it out, he... opened it anyway despite already knowing the contents?? 1) because he knew kaveh wouldn't mind, and 2) because he was curious what kaveh thought about it?? considering that he knows kaveh makes annotations in books??
he saw kaveh circle the killer's name in permanent ink, effectively spoiling the novel, no matter how terrible, and joined in by circling a name to create a red herring, but also because he thought circling names was funny <3
he put the book in the same place in the study and didn't say anything to kaveh when kaveh went to return it, and kaveh went about believing alhaitham knew nothing about it, until the quest comes full circle and kaveh returns to alhaitham to tell him the news, only to find out that he and alhaitham were jointly the instigators for the conspiracy.
the quest is THEIR fault!! but.. the conspiracy wouldn't have happened if alhaitham hadn't made the second circle,, so… if he hadn't been curious about something that occupied kaveh's time..., that’s so !!??
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#an odd textual mystery#im absolutely sick and disgusted by this behaviour#chronologically alhaitham must have read the book before kaveh found it?? so he saw kaveh reading it and wanted to see if kaveh had#annotated it? if he already read it and knew it sucked then why...#alhaitham your mind.. tighnari is so correct you really are too much i dont care about permanent ink kaveh is innocent#kaveh doesnt even question alhaitham looking through the book in the study because its their shared space like its only NATURAL alhaitham#would look through it??? okay i take it back im sick of both of them#we get it youre domestic and now youre inflicting that on the whole of sumeru city!!!
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"I'll make a ton of cash, and leave this place."
TAIKAN YOHOU (2023). EPISODE TWO.
#taikan yohou#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#jdramasource#tvedit#toxicgaysource#*#faiza gifs#GOD I NEED MEAT LIKE THIS TO BITE AND CHEW AND SINK MY TEETH INTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!#GIVE ME THIS AGAIN OH GOD PLEASE.#ughhhhhh the WAY these 2 are just having 2 ENTIRELY different conversations in the first few episodes ITS JUST SO DELICIOUS.#how yoh just feels like he's being Used for something he doesnt even KNOW what it is?????? but he WANTS itttt????? and yet is disgusted#with it toooooooo???? whilst segasaki just thinks they're OKAY? they're FINE? that this arrangement of theirs is NORMAL?#like. MY GOD. SO MUCH TO UNPACK SO MUCH TO CLAW MY FINGERS INTOOOOOOOOOOO.#japan GIVE ME THIS AGAINNNNNNNNN.#but no YES going off from my tags on a reblog from earlier today.#it just. BAFFLES me. how people thought/think that this show is meant to just be??? a light hearted romcom? like???????????? WHEREEEEEEEEE?#WHEREEEEEEEEEEE??? HOWWWW where people SO surprised by segasaki's toxicity and their unhealthy romantic codependency????#WHEN IT HAS BEEN HINTED AT SINCE EP 1 ALL ALONG! how did people MISS it? idgi? at all!
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hello there, angel
[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash is sitting facing the viewer and holds a rose between his clasped together hands, but he’s looking to the left, upwards, at Wolfwood, with an awed expression. Wolfwood hovers over him with wings sprouting from his back. He has a cigarette lit between his lips, his arms and legs are crossed, and he looks back at Vash with a neutral expression. The both of them are covered in a blue shadow, casted by Wolfwood and his hovering form, while warm light hits the back of his wings and over Vash’s legs. Small feathers sits next to Vash. End ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#this is not meant to mean anything btw i just wanted to draw wolfwood as an angle#i love angel and follower depiction but i also think wolfwood is just the most angelic human being ever#he was sent to guide him... he protects him... he Saved him#i mean they both just think of each other as the most good they've seen in the world in a really long time#and in turn makes themselves coil and feel a little more disgusted with themselves. but they're also so Good to each other that they can#start to believe that they can be that good too.#they love each other so much and theyve never loved anyone else like this before so i can just imagine the heights their love can reach#endless pouring of affection in a way they can only keep to their own chest in fear they'd never be able to let go otherwise#that is to say i just feel like they'd worship each other and it's probably excessive but i feel like they both really deserve it#i did not even mean to go on that tangent but back on topic -- i just love angel wolfwood depiction in a way that's Normal......#need more of vash saying cheesy shit like youre my light wolfwood!!!! and wolfwood beating the shit out of him like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!#which is why i have a tablet in the first place. my mission in the world...#ruporas art
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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i don't think wonderland is ready for those alices
#i have so so many things i could say about this cielois madness returns au (yeah that's what i call it. it's not even meant to be cielois)#(but like. ship names are convenient aren't they)#anyway so many things. but that would be a lot so i'll talk about it if someone asks or if i feel like it later#this post's rambles will be about the outfits!!#so. i gave ciel the dollhouse dress and alois the queensland dress#i know they could have been swapped. and it might have made more sense#HOWEVER#i do not care#i can and will put alois in red just because i want to. and of course i would give him a red fit in an amr fusion au#the vibes are rancid. it's perfect. that's what him being in this au is about!!#terrible things happen to children in kuro and in alice ok#anyway. i know queensland would be good for ciel because r!ciel BUT please envision queen luka i BEG#it's heartwrenching to see lizzie look so small in the game already so luka???? soul crushing. i want it.#now. the dollhouse dress for ciel#because of funtom mostly... and the vibes... and he's more of a doll than alois is ngl...#like. i know that it fits alois more because it's heavy on the trafficking and poverty parts but. see if i care#plus the minor theme of exorcising the evil of the city through the pain of children is more ciel-coded. so yeah#and he looks so bad in red oh my god i could not give him another dress... unless it was the mad hatter one and it would have been boring#also very much not fitting#you might notice that i changed the symbols on both of their aprons#in both cases i replaced female with male obviously but#in ciel's case the dollhouse dress has so many disgusting implications and i made them worse you're welcome <3#(replaced female with male and male with one of the symbols you can see on the contract seal. yeah yeah that's fucked i know)#(it's alice madness returns. and fucking black butler. bad things be happening to children!!)#anyway#that's it for my rambles#i got too lazy to do the vorpal blade and hobby horse light trails#so we'll live with the fact that my sketch has better vibes than the final piece#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart
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what if gaster in a future chapter calls out the audience for speculating so much about him. the guy canonically has some amount of access to Real Life Social Media. like i started this mostly as a joke but there are definitely some real metanarrative opportunities for a character with recklessly curious impulses, and possibly a fragile sense of self, having nearly limitless access to streams of debate over whether or not he’s a bastard. rude to talk about someone who’s listening etc
#this is very fast and loose character reading on my part but i do get the sense sometimes#that gaster may be asking some of the same questions of himself that we are of him.#’who are you? how should i feel about you? should i sympathize with you or be disgusted by you?’#i said ‘call out’ in the post but i don’t even necessarily think this is a matter of anger#so much as sincere confusion and ego-shattering overwhelm#a character so wrung out by the mechanisms of audience interpretation that even he has no idea who he is anymore#and he’s looking at the audience who looked so hard for him and spent so much energy tearing him apart for clues or answers#and saying ‘you want to know what i am. but you seem to know that better than i do. please tell me. tell me what you think.’#’because i want to know just as much as you do.’#…anyway this is not real speculation. just rambling on an idea i think would be cool lol#$ waltz of a shattered man
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"the Gabe and Sally dynamic in the show is abusive" and "the way they've portrayed Gabe in the show is distinctly different from his book counterpart and fans can criticize that" are two discussions that can coexist
#I understand that this is hard topic to navigate#but me saying that /they've changed Gabe and that's consequently altered the dynamic he has with Sally in way I don't like/#is NOT me saying I don't think what they've portrayed onscreen is non-abusive#or that I WANT to see him abuse her???#its just the guy in the show while clearly controlling and abusive (emotionally and financially so far)#...I don't believe he's the guy who's presence was so horrid and disgusting MONSTERS avoided him#I wouldn't call him /Smelly/#in the book his abuse (all forms) is much more overt#(and just to be painstakingly clear: abuse doesn't have to be overt to be abuse)#but the guy in the show does not have the same presence as the guy in the book#book Gabe is menacing#he growls and he threatens and both Sally and Percy have developed very specific responses to deal with it#I've seen one take saying that people can't recognize the abuse in the show because its not physical (yet?)#but even disregarding the physical abuse entirely#if you compare the book scene and TV show scene of Percy arriving home and he and Sally readying for Montauk#there is a pretty stark difference in tone#and in how both Sally and Percy interact with Gabe#in the book Sally goes out of her way to avoid /provoking/ Gabe and asks Percy to do the same until they can leave for Montauk#and Gabe is just itching for any excuse to keep them home#and imo if Book Sally had said the things that show Sally did to Gabe#Gabe wouldn't have let them gone!#and again im not saying that the show's depiction is nonabusive#or unrealistic#im saying its simply /different/ than the book#and im upset that it doesn't feel like dynamic depicted the book#and no book sally is no simpering wilting flower#but she's also not what they depicted in the show either#pjo adaptation#sally jackson#pjo
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Zenitsu agatsuma has got to be the biggest egg I have ever seen in my entire life
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#zenitsu agatsuma#nezuko kamado#there’s genuinely no way bro doesn’t have smth going on with his gender#nezukos bamboo necklace is chewlery btw hehe#I hope I was able to capture the expression of like#just genuine tender yearning#it’s something he’s always had the longing for but never quite understood where it came from#or even what it was#just a very empty hole in his body that he could only ever describe as self hatred and disgust even if he knew that wasn’t quite right#I think when they’re older nezuko would rlly help him like#get comfortable w the idea of actually exploring his identity#he’s spent so much of his life just truly and bitterly hating himself to the core#he couldn’t stomach the idea of thinking about who he was beyond the surface level#I think nezuko would make him feel so much more okay with himself and help try to get him to a point of at the very least knowing who he is#it’s a very long road that zenitsu really honestly isn’t sure if he’s comfortable with#but he can’t help but at least try#if not for himself but for the ache of the child inside himself who has so desperately longed for comfort and love and belonging#he wants to know that child who was so brutally outcasted could eventually find a home#he wants to believe there’s hope for himself#Zenko chan I love you so much#she is so important 2 me…..#sorry transed your zenitsu. no yeah we can’t undo it. yeah he’s a she now. sorry nothin I can do.
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