#i wanna sit in a pretty dress and throw the mud at walls and lay down in it

[supercorpkid]

A weekend without Kara.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader.

Word count: 3300.

“AHHH!” You yell standing up in one movement, looking at the portal opening in front of you, right in the middle of your living room. “Holy shit.” You put your hand on your chest and watch the Flash coming out of the portal.

“Oh, hi Superkid!” He smiles at you and you give him a thumbs up, after the first scare. “Is Supergirl home?”

“MOMMA! Uncle Barry is here to drag you to another reality so you two can fight some…” You look at him raising an eyebrow.

“World-consuming alien.” He answers and you agree with your head.

“Some nonsense alien.” You yell again and you hear Kara agreeing from her bedroom, saying she’ll be right down.

“How did you know?” Barry asks, looking at you throwing yourself back on the couch.

“Please. Like you would just show up here to say she looks pretty on her dress or something.” He agrees with his head. You’re right.

“Hey, wanna race while she doesn’t come?” Barry smiles and you stand up again.

“Yeah, I’ve been training a lot. I think I can beat you now.” You walk to the front door and open it.

“One time around the block and here is the finish line?” He asks and you shake your head agreeing. You both get in position for the run. “Ready? Go!” Barry becomes a flash in your eyes, and stops next to you a second later. He looks at you standing by the door, furrowing his brows. “Wait! How are you here already? I’m pretty sure I just broke the sound barrier.”

“Well, I told you I could beat you.” You walk back into the house, and Kara appears all dressed as Supergirl.

“Kid, I’ll be gone for a while. Please text your mom to come stay with you.” Kara asks and you agree with your head, but you don’t move. She points at your phone in your pocket. “Now, come on. I want to see you typing.”

“Fine.” You grab the phone and pretend to send an audio message. “Hey guys, I’ll be alone for the weekend! Party at my house! Bring a beer keg!”

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” Kara is unamused while Barry laughs extremely loud next to her. She shoots him a disapproving look.

“Sorry. She’s hilarious.” Barry shrugs defensively and you smile.

You: Momma is going to another reality. World-consuming alien. The Flash. Probably another bunch of weird stuff.

Mom: OK! Do you want to meet me at the hotel, or should I go home?

You: Home, please.

Mom: Ok baby, see you there after work.

You show your texts to Kara, who shakes her head agreeing. Then looks at Barry next to her, giving him a nod.

“Ok.” He fumbles with the portal control, almost dropping it, then presses the button to open it. “Good to see you Superkid! Next time don’t let me race alone!” He winks at you and you smile.

“Guess you are smart.” You do finger guns at him and he goes into the portal. Kara walks towards you and kisses your forehead.

“Please, be good. If you need anything at all, call your aunt Alex. Be nice to your mom. If there’s an emergency and you need to save National City, please be careful.” She adds another kiss to your forehead. “I love you, little one.”

“I love you, mommy. Be careful out there.” You smile and she agrees, before walking into the portal and disappearing right after.

You look around the empty house and the clock on the kitchen wall. You’re not throwing a party, obviously, but what’s stopping you from having your girlfriend over? You text her, and it doesn’t take long until she’s at your door.

You have everything prepared when she arrives, and you both settle in the living room to watch a movie. She has her arms wrapped around you the entire time and you feel happy and bubbly about the whole situation.

“Hey.” She whispers on your jaw, and gives you a sweet kiss there. “I don’t want to ruin the moment, but can we talk about what happened today at school?”

You forage your brain trying to remember what happened, but nothing comes. You look at her with furrowed brows to show your confusion.

“What that girl said to you?” Maya adds when she realizes you have no idea what she is talking about. “Babe, you can’t possibly have forgotten about it.” She opens a little more distance between you two, shaking her head in denial. “She told you to kill yourself.”

“Oh! Ah! Yes!” You stand up, a little uncomfortable, collecting the empty popcorn containers, and soda cans. “That’s just, you know-”

“That’s just heinous it’s what that is.” She stands up again. “How can you not have told her to go fuck herself or something?”

“Oh no, babe. That’s not-” You turn your back to her, so she won’t see your face completely red. “Why would I do that? I can’t drop to her level.”

“Oh my God, are you serious?” Maya’s voice comes a little louder. You know she’s not fighting you, and that she’s not upset with you, but with the situation. Your heart still starts pounding in your chest, either way. “She told you that you should die because you have Luthor in your name. How can you put up with that and not say a word?”

She walks towards you, taking everything you’re holding out of your hands and putting in the nearest surface. She cups your face and smiles at you.

“I get that you’re the nicest person in the universe, but I can’t stomach the way they treat you in that school. And I don’t like that you put your head down for them.” She kisses your cheek lightly. “If you’re not going to fight them, I will.”

“I just don’t think it’s worth it. It’s not like they’ll ever stop.” You shrug, looking into her eyes. She sighs. “Besides, I’m used to it.”

“Babe, that’s even more upsetting.” Maya puts her head on your collarbone. “What do your moms say about it?”

“Oh no. No.” You step a little further away from her, shaking your head. “They can’t know about the things they say. It would be very distressing.”

You hear a noise in the kitchen and you don’t even have to use your x-ray vision to know that Lena is home, making noises so you notice her there.

“Lena is here.” You say, and Maya holds your hand, when you two walk to the kitchen. “Hey mom.”

“Oh hey-” Lena raises her head from the grocery bags. “Girls.”

“Hello, Mrs. Luthor.” Maya answers and turns her face to you. “Walk me out?”

“Yeah.” Lena waves a quick goodbye at Maya, and you take her outside, closing the door for a little goodbye kiss without Lena being able to see it. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Ok. Please, text goodnight.” Maya adds before turning on her heels and leaving your house.

You go back inside, and look at Lena putting the food she bought on the fridge. You help her, without saying a word.

“Please tell me you’re eating healthy.” Lena asks, knowing the answer by the things on the fridge. You shrug.

“Maybe you should come back home and make me.” You open a smile and she chuckles, holding your chin and looking at you lovingly.

“Funny.” Lena kisses your cheek and you hug her, laying your head on her shoulder. She strokes your back gently, and you sigh.

“I miss you here.”

Lena doesn’t answer. You know she misses you too by the way she’s holding you tight, and by the way her heart is beating. You know she’s hurt with Kara, and you wish there was something you could do about it.

“So.” Lena lets go of you, cleans one tear on her face, and looks at the things she didn’t put away. “You start on the salad, and I’ll start on the chicken.”

“Sounds good.” You two fall into a natural and comfortable silence while cooking together. It’s twice as fast without Kara around, but half as fun.

After you two finish cooking, she puts the food on the table, while you finish setting it up.

“You know I don’t have super hearing.” Lena says, while filling her glass with wine. You sit and wait for her to come closer. “But, when I got home, I heard you and Maya talking, and it sounded like you two were fighting.”

“Oh, no, we weren’t.” You deny with your head, and serve yourself. Lena finally comes back with her wine. She sits, crossing her legs, reclining on the chair and looking at you from the other side of the table.

“I know. I’ve heard.” She says and you look up to her, realizing what that means. “Baby-”

“Mom, I got it, ok? You don’t have to worry about it.” You sigh, putting food on your mouth, and giving her a thumbs up, because it’s delicious. “Let’s not ruin this perfect dinner with this conversation.”

“I’m sorry, babygirl. I think we should ruin dinner.” Lena says and you sigh. “What they do to you it’s not right. No one is supposed to hear the things you do, because of your stupid name. God, sometimes I regret giving it to you in the first place.”

“Mom.”

“No, I-I do. I should’ve known better. It’s too big of a burden to carry, and you are the opposite of what this name stands for.” Lena’s eyes are filled with tears and you bite your lip. “I actually thought people would forget about Lex. But he keeps coming back and dragging our names through the mud, all the time.”

You know she’s mad at Lex for mind controlling you still, so you let her vent. She’s been keeping this feeling bottle up for more than a week now, not having Kara to talk about it.

“And you, the sweetest, nicest person on the planet, keep paying for it.” Her tears fall, and your heart squeezes in your chest. You hate seeing her like that. “I wish you had nothing to do with this sick, rotten family.”

“But then I would have nothing to do with you.” You get up from your chair, rounding the table and going to her. “And you are the best thing in my life.” You smile. “And momma, of course.”

“Baby.” She cups your face with one hand, and smiles through the tears. “You are the best thing in my life. I love you so much.”

“Listen. You are right. I shouldn’t have to endure all the hate speeches, and all the teasing, but kids are stupid. I don’t think that half of them actually hate me because of my name, I think they hate me because it’s fun.” Lena raises her eyebrow at that. “It’s fun to laugh at the school genius, at least that’s what I see in every teen movie.”

Lena gives a little laugh and kisses your cheek.

“You’re amazing. Are you sure you’re just sixteen?” She asks and you shrug.

“You tell me.” You round the table again, going to your place. “You’re the one who made me in a lab.”

The dinner goes smoothly after that. The food is incredible and you know it’s only been a little more than a week, but you missed her food anyway. Lena’s presence feels right, like it always did. And you just wish she could stay more than just the weekend.

You two hang out a lot. It feels stupid when you think it hasn’t been that long since she left home, why were you missing her so much? Why were you missing her telling you to clean up your room, and help her with dinner?

After the conversation she overheard between you and Maya, she became Maya’s number one fan. It’s hilarious, and you didn’t see it coming. But every time you say Maya’s name, she just opens the biggest smile and it’s awesome.

You don’t want this weekend to end.

But it’s Sunday night, and your heart feels heavy even though Lena is still right next to you on the couch, talking about some experience that went wrong in the lab, and that one of the interns got so scared he’ll be blamed for it, he almost puked.

“Poor kid.” Lena adds, in the end, and you agree with your head.

“But you forgave him, right?” You ask and she agrees. “Then why can’t you forgive momma?”

“Baby, that’s not-”

“Mom, I don’t know what happened but, well, you once told me that we’re Luthor-Danvers, and that means that we might get upset, but we know how to recognize our mistakes and apologize.” You raise an eyebrow at her.

“I wish it was that simple.” Lena sighs, and you hug her.

“It could, if you two just stopped overcomplicating stuff and just talked.” Lena doesn’t answer. She kisses your forehead, and falls silent for the rest of the night, looking too lost in her thoughts.

When Kara comes back from another reality is really late at night. You and Lena are comfortable on the couch watching a cooking show, when the portal opens again in the middle of the living room.

“Lena!” Kara looks so surprised as if she didn’t make you text your mom in front of her to make sure Lena would come to keep you company.

“Oh, hi.” Lena stands up, fidgeting her fingers, nervously. You roll your eyes thinking this is very pathetic. Just make-up already! “Well, great! You’re home. I suppose other realities are saved?” Kara shakes her head, agreeing. Eyes looking at Lena’s hands, then focusing back at her eyes. “Then I should get going.”

“NO!” Kara says a little louder than she planned to, reaching out to Lena, but not really touching her arm. Damn, it was so close. “It’s late.” She guesses by looking at the sky. “You should stay. It’s-It’s your house.”

Lena raises an eyebrow, and they stare at each other for a few seconds. Do they even know you’re there or have them forgotten completely about your existence?

“You take the bedroom and I’ll sleep on the couch.” Kara points at it, and sees you sitting there. “Or with the kid.” Oh, so they know you’re there.

“I don’t know…” Lena bites her lips, and you open your eyes at Kara, encouraging her.

“Please. It makes no sense for you to leave. It’s late, and even if it wasn’t-just-yeah-please.” Kara is always so articulate. But still, somehow, that makes Lena agree with her head and she decides to stay. You smile to yourself, and whisper a ‘thank you’ when she sits back on the couch, and Kara goes to take a shower.

When you hear that Kara has finished getting ready, you go to your room, so you can leave them alone to see if they finally talk. They don’t. Seriously, what are you going to do about this?

“Hey.” Kara knocks on your door then puts her head inside. “Will you absolutely hate it if I sleep here tonight?”

“C’mere.” You open your arms, and Kara smiles, walking into your arms, and laying in bed with you. “How were things in the other dimension?”

“Hard. Maybe I’m getting too old for this.” Kara says making you laugh in response, and soon she adds. “Don’t you dare saying I’m 70.”

“But you are.” You say and she sticks her tongue out at you, and flop back on her belly next to you.

“How were things here?”

“Great. It’s really good having mom home.” You watch her expression when you say that. She hums in agreement, but doesn’t say anything. “So, are you going to apologize or what?”

“Why do you assume it was my fault?” Kara furrows her brows, and you ease her crinkle with your thumb.

“I don’t. I have no idea whose fault it is. Or even if it’s a matter of culpability, at all. All I know is that, it doesn’t matter.” You stroke her back gently. “You love her, she loves you. You guys have been through so much, and you have never ever given up on her.”

“I’m not giving up now, either.”

“Well, then do something about it.” You say and Kara breathes deep. You raise your eyebrow at her. “Now! Do something now!”

“Ok, yeah.” She stands up and goes to the door. Before she leaves, she comes back and kisses your forehead. “You’re the best kid in the entire universe. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. Now, go.”

It would be a lot easier if your power had just gotten out of control again, and you could blame your eavesdropping on this, but that's not the case. What is happening is that your heart is so heavy on your chest. You know they keep saying it was not your fault, but if this is true why is your guilt practically consuming you? So, you need to know.

“Hey.” You hear a knock on the door, and Kara’s voice right after.

“Oh, Kara. Do you need to grab something?” Lena’s voice comes a little surprised.

“No, I-Lena, I’m really sorry.” Kara breathes out, like she was holding the apology for days, which is probably true. “Of course, I believe you, and I don’t think there’s a world you would ever hurt her, but I got really scared. I saw the look on her face, and she kept calling me mommy, and I caved.”

So, it was your fault! Holy shit you knew it! Lena’s voice comes an entire minute later, which almost makes you faint in anticipation. Come on Lena, come on. You can do it.

“I’m sorry too.” OH, THANK RAO. “You were right, there were other ways, and she was in pain. But don’t think for a second I wasn’t scared too.”

“I know. I know you were. I know you ARE.” Kara says, and you lower your glasses to see if they’re hugging, and they’re still not. Goddammit Kara, do something! “It doesn’t matter how many times the world gets in danger and our existence is threatened. Every time she is the one in danger, I-It’s-”

“Yeah.” Lena’s face drops and you watch Kara coming closer. Reaching out with one hand. Fingers ghosting over Lena’s arm. Your heart is stuck on your throat the entire time, and it feels like it’s going to explode in anticipation. Go, momma, please.

But Kara doesn’t go to Lena.

It’s Lena who goes to her.

Lena hugs Kara’s waist tight and sobs on her t-shirt. You hear Kara’s heart skipping a beat, and a breath of relief leaving her mouth.

“We’re ok.” Kara kisses the top of Lena’s head, wrapping her arms around her head, pressing her further into her chest. “She’s ok. We-We’ll figure this out, love.”

Lena’s heart beats a lot faster and she looks up, gazing into Kara’s eyes. They don’t have to say the words, so you know what they’re thinking. But they do it anyway.

“I love you, Lena.” Kara smiles, kissing Lena’s head again, and it’s time for Lena’s heart to skip a beat. “Always have, always will. In a hundred lifetimes, in any alternative reality, in every world. I love you.”

“I love you, honey.”

You stop listening, because now it’s way too private and it seems like things are better. And since Kara doesn’t come back to your bedroom, you’re right to assume things are better than they were before. But your heart only truly eases, when Monday comes and Lena comes back home after work. That’s when you can finally breathe.

Notes:

@itzyourgirlnat prompted a week without Kara and I LOVED IT!

Also Kara and Lena are back together, so the angst is over, ooof! What a long ride!

[littlestarofthewest]

Title: Meeting Miss Morgan | Word Count: 4004 | Rating (for entire fic): 18+!!!

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x female OC | Chapter: 03 of 08 |  Link to Masterlist

Since Arthur did such a great job with the Mustang, Mr. Henderson lay into him for a while, and upon finding out that Arthur knew a thing or two about horses, he insisted that Arthur helps Julie whenever he can. They soon find a routine to share the work without stepping on each other's toes, and Julie doesn't mind having Arthur around, hoping to get a few more words out of him than usual.

She's in the stables, once again brushing Jasper, although he might be the cleanest horse in the world. Arthur is walking by, but then he comes back and leans against the wall to watch Julie.

"How come I've never seen you ride him?" he asks, and Julie sighs before ducking under Jasper's neck to get on his other side.

"He doesn't let me ride him. Or anybody for that matter."

"Not at all?" Arthur asks in surprise.

"No," Julie says, back at brushing Jasper's side. "Mr. Henderson bought him really cheap and couldn't believe his luck. Turns out, there's a reason they wanted to get rid of him."

"Yeah, because he's a mean one," Arthur says, looking the horse directly in the eyes as if to have a silent conversation with it.

"He's not mean. He just doesn't like somebody on his back. I think that's understandable."

Arthur nods. "Could be he got mistreated somehow. I'd pick being brushed by a pretty lady over doing some work as well."

Heat rushes to Julie's cheeks at his words, and she's not sure how to respond. Arthur's been saying things like these a few times now. Still, it's never like he's actually flirting with her. Just like with the pencils, Arthur has a natural ability to be kind. Julie isn't used to that, especially not from men.

Mrs. Henderson keeps pestering Julie about a husband because Julie does her best to avoid any suitors. They're often annoying at best and right out creepy at worst. Being in peace around her animals is so much nicer than fending off men who are either longing to get her out of her dress or are just looking for someone to wash their dirty socks.

"I'm all done for the day," Arthur says, interrupting her musings. "You got anything else for me to do?"

"I was about to clean out the stables, but that's hardly a task I'd wish on anybody."

"I don't mind," Arthur says, as always not afraid to get his hands dirty.

He grabs one of the pitchforks and heads to the other end of the stable, beginning his work. Julie quickly finishes up with Jasper, not wanting Arthur to do all the work on his own. She starts from the other end, and a quiet atmosphere takes hold of the stables. There's scratching from the pitchforks on the floor and rustling hay, and once in a while, Arthur's deep voice carries over to Julie when he has a nice word for one of the horses or gently tells them to move over.

Occupied by her thoughts and her work, Julie doesn't notice how they've been moving closer until she almost bumps into Arthur. It's also the first time she hears the noises coming from outside. "What is that?"

"Sounds like there's a storm coming," Arthur says without a care, but then he stops in his tracks when his eyes fall on Julie's face. "Why?"

"The cattle," Julie says with worry, "I gotta bring it in."

"Cattle?" Arthur asks, following after Julie when she rushes to get one of her horses to ride out. "Since when do you have cattle?"

"It's not exactly ours. Mr. Henderson bought it for a business partner and kept it until the man can get his rangers out here and move them," Julie explains. "We'll lose a lot of money if anything happens to them."

Arthur sighs. "Let's bring them in then, and quick. That storm isn't far off."

Julie feels like kissing him when he heads to saddle a horse of his own. Together with a hired hand, she managed to get the herd onto a nearby pasture, but she's not good at herding cattle in the best of times, let alone in a storm.

They go as fast as they can, quickly reaching the animals, and Arthur turns to Julie. "So, how do you wanna do this?"

She hates to admit her cluelessness, but Julie still shrugs her shoulders. "I'm good with horses. I know next to nothing about cattle."

Arthur nods. "We go at them from both sides, bring them together. Then you ride ahead for a bit to show them where to go. I'll try to push them from behind. And we'll better be quick."

He turns his horse, beginning to drive the single animals together while Julie is staring after him with a weird sensation in her stomach. The whole time on the farm, Arthur's been quiet and timid, shy even. Julie has never seen him so forward and in control. 

It's interesting to see such a different side of him, but Julie doesn't get to think about it for long. Thunder is rolling in the distance, a dark sky slowly crawling towards them. Julie gets her horse in motion, doing as Arthur said. 

Soon, they're moving forward. Julie tries to determine the best way to lead the cattle to its destination without problems while Arthur shouts at them from behind, riding from side to side to keep them in check.

They make good progress, but the thunder is getting louder, something crackling in the air. Julie can feel the restlessness from the animals, and every time she dares to look back, it's getting darker around them. After a short while, the rain sets in, getting heavier by the minute. It continually changes direction, forced into Julie's face by the wind until her clothes are drenched. 

Lightning is suddenly splitting the sky, illuminating their surroundings only long enough to make the world seem even darker as soon as it's gone. It's then that Arthur rides up to Julie, his face serious. 

"We won't make it in time," he shouts over the wind and rain. "It's too risky."

"We have to. If we lose these animals, the farm might be done for," Julie shouts back. 

She hates doing that to Arthur, knowing full well that he's right. The Henderson farm runs well for now, but there are no riches and not much to spare. It might survive, but only with significant losses. One of the first ones would be Arthur. 

He shakes his head but rides back to the back of the herd. He's probably shouting at them again, but Julie can't hear him. It's getting pitch black, although it's way too early in the day for that. The rain falls heavy now, pressing down hard on Julie and her horse, and the sharp wind makes her shiver.

They're coming closer to the farm, and right when Julie dares to believe that they can make it, lightning strikes again. The following thunder comes instantly, booming as if a mighty God is using the world as a drum. Julie's horse bucks, making a horrible whining sound, and before Julie has time to react, she's already flying.

The horse is running off in the direction of the farm while Julie crushes into the ground. It's not her first fall from a horse, but that sure doesn't make it better any time it happens. Julie is lucky that the rain turned the earth into mud, cushioning her fall at least a little. 

Julie tries her best to breathe new air into her lungs when Arthur appears out of nowhere. He falls knees first right into the mud next to her, carefully cupping her face. "You alright?"

She reads the words more from his lips than actually hearing them in the chaos around them, so instead of answering, she just nods. Arthur watches her for another moment before reaching under her arm to help her up. Julie does her best to support her own weight, but every bone in her body is aching, and she can't help but lean on Arthur.

Without warning, he picks her up, carrying her through the heavy storm to his own horse. It dances around nervously as Arthur helps Julie up on it, only getting calmer when Arthur is sitting up behind Julie, brushing its neck. He gets it to move behind the herd, and in the upcoming minutes, Julie learns two things.

One is that Arthur must have done this before or spent much time of his life on a horse. He moves it carefully and with precision, making it look like there wasn't a storm at all. Driven by the horse, the cattle keep at a steady pace, heading right for the farm. The animals must sense the nearby shelter, and there's no more need to drive them forward.

The second thing is even more surprising to Julie. All her life, she's been fine on her own, not on the lookout for a man at all. Still, with Arthur's body pressed against hers and his arms surrounding her, she knows she's in big trouble. When the farm comes into view, she almost wishes it wouldn't, wanting to stay right where she is for a little longer.

Arthur doesn't do her that favor. He pushes the horse as fast as he can without spooking it or the cattle. When they arrive at the farm, both Mr. and Mrs. Henderson come running outside to help them. Mr. Henderson opens up the barn, leading the cattle in while Mrs. Henderson heads straight over to Arthur and Julie.

"Thank God, you're okay," she sighs, reaching out for Julie. "We saw your horse running in and didn't know what to think."

Julie wants to reassure her that she's fine, but Arthur returns the favor of telling on him. "She got thrown off, you better take her inside."

He jumps off the horse, and before Julie can object, he grabs her by the waist and lifts her down. A tickling feeling hits Julie, starting from where Arthur touched her and running in waves all over her skin. 

Mrs. Henderson quickly throws an arm around her, steering her to the house. "Let's get you warm, dear. Come on."

Julie knows that there's no chance Mrs. Henderson will let her go, so she moves along, but when they reach the door, she can't help but look back. Arthur got back on the horse, making sure that the herd disappears in the barn, but he's not watching the animals.

His eyes meet Julie's, and heat takes hold of her body, making her remember how it felt to be in his arms. Arthur's gaze strikes her like lightning, setting something aflame deep inside of her. Julie knows that she won't forget this moment as long as she lives.

-------

Despite Mrs. Henderson's best efforts, the night out in the storm took its toll, leaving Julie with a bad cold. She's been feverish for three days, sleeping most of the time. Only once in a while, Mrs. Henderson wakes her up to get some food and water into her before letting her rest again. 

A week later, Mrs. Henderson still insists that Julie stays in bed, although she feels a lot better. There are only two things she can do to pass the time, draw, and look out of the window. 

Julie does the second one as often as she can, hoping to catch a glimpse of Arthur. She never thought she'd be able to miss somebody so much, especially after such a short time of knowing them. Julie got used to Arthur's quiet presence in the stables, his deep, soothing voice, and the soft smiles he often uses more than words.

After about an hour, her constant window gazing pays off. Mr. Henderson and Arthur come out of the stables. Arthur leans against one of the fences, nodding along to what Mr. Henderson is saying. Even from that distance, Julie can tell that he grew out his beard a little, giving her the sudden urge to touch it.

Even worse is the shirt that Arthur bought during their trip into town. It reminds Julie how she just tore open his old one, not thinking about what she was doing. Now she does think about it. Arthur usually keeps the top buttons of his shirt open, and Julie imagines opening up the rest, running her fingers over his muscular chest until he takes her into his strong arms again.

With a sigh, Julie closes her eyes. She's been hauled up in bed for too long, needing a distraction. When she opens her eyes, the two men are gone, and Julie reaches for her journal. To keep sane, she draws, trying to ignore that she's using one of Arthur's pencils and doing her best to only draw horses and not the man who's so good at taming them.

After a while, she takes a nap despite her claims to Mrs. Henderson that she's not tired. She wakes up to a timid knock on the door, wondering why Mrs. Henderson suddenly refrains from just barging in. "Yes?"

"It's Arthur," comes the muffled voice from outside. "Can I come in?"

Julie freezes, becoming acutely aware that she's only wearing a nightgown and hasn't seen a mirror in days. Still, her heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing Arthur, and she can't bring herself to turn him away.

"Yes, sure," she says, her voice weak from excitement.

Arthur opens the door just a crack, taking a glimpse inside. "The Henderson's went to town and asked me to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Julie says. "I would be up, but Mrs. Henderson won't let me."

"She's right, you took quite the fall, and that fever was no joke."

Julie sighs. "I'm fine, Arthur, and if I don't get out of here soon, I lose my mind."

He nods, probably familiar with the urge to be outside. "Let's get your strength up then. Are you hungry?"

"God, yes," Julie grunts, making Arthur chuckle. It's a sound that makes Julie's stomach flutter.

"I'll get you something," he says, his amusement audible in his voice. "Be right back."

It takes a while for Arthur to come back, making Julie wonder if he went hunting her food first. She has an idea what took Arthur so long when he comes inside with a tray. There's a bowl of steaming hot soup, fresh bread, some berries, and a little flower in a small glass jar. Arthur puts it down on Julie's bedside table, taking a step back.

"Haven't made that soup in a while, but I've been told it cures anything," Arthur says, furrowing his brows in thought. "Come to think of it, I hope that's a good thing."

"I'm sure it's just fine," Julie hurries to say, her eyes still hefted to the tray. 

Arthur nods, attempting to leave, but although her heart feels like it might be jumping out of her chest, Julie holds him back. "Can you stay a little?" she asks, trying to think of a good reason why. "I'm really bored out of my mind."

"Sure," Arthur says, his eyes searching the room. He grabs the chair from Julie's desk and puts it next to the bed, sitting down on it as if it's the first time in his life using actual furniture. Wringing his hands, he looks up at Julie. "Not sure I'm good company, though."

"Mrs. Henderson keeps talking about finding me a husband," Julie snorts while reaching for the bread, "anything you say will most certainly be better than that."

"I'm sure she means well."

"She does, I'm just not-" Julie means to say how she doesn't care for a husband, but looking at the man who shares her name already, she can't bring herself to say it. Suddenly, the idea doesn't seem so foreign anymore.

Arthur looks at her with furrowed brows, waiting for her to finish her sentence. Julie clears her throat. "Let's just say that the men in town aren't exactly what women are looking for."

For a moment, Arthur looks like he has a question, but then he just nods, making Julie wish he would talk to her for once. 

"Tell me about the horses," she says when Arthur stays quiet.

Arthur's face lights up, the topic clearly more pleasant to him than husband talk. "The one you rode in the storm, Betty, she's alright. And Jasper is fine. After three days, he stopped trying to bite me, so I call that progress."

Julie laughs. "I'm sorry, I know he's a handful."

"He misses the pretty lady," Arthur says with a shrug, looking like he wants to say more, but then he gets to his feet in a hurry. "I should let you eat."

"Thank you, Arthur."

"Get better soon, Miss Morgan."

Julie sighs wholeheartedly, "Really? You still can't just call me by my name?"

Arthur watches his feet for a moment before looking up, seeming like a schoolboy who's been caught doing something naughty. "Force of habit, I guess," he says, rubbing his neck.

"Try, please," Julie says, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure it'll do wonders for my condition."

Arthur smiles, knowing that she's joking. He heads for the door but turns around once more. "Get well soon, Jules," he says, leaving Julie with a jolt in her stomach.

It's not that nobody calls her that, but Arthur is clearly teasing her by using the nickname, making it sound so different in his voice. After asking him not to be so formal, having him call her by her name is suddenly too familiar. 

Julie stares at the little flower in the bottle. It's nothing Mrs. Henderson keeps around, so Arthur must have fetched it explicitly for this occasion. With a warm feeling in her stomach, Julie tries the soup. It tastes like Arthur. Strong, with nuances that surprise her, and a little bittersweet.

------

"There you are," Arthur says, excitement in his voice that Julie isn't used to.

She's been up and about for three days now, but Arthur hasn't been there since he helped bring the cattle to Mr. Henderson's business partner. Without warning, Arthur takes Julie's hand, bringing back that warm feeling she always gets even when just thinking about Arthur now.

"What are we doing?" she asks, although she'd be happy to go anywhere with Arthur.

"I wanna try something, and you gotta help me," Arthur says vaguely, leading her from the house to the stables, never letting go of her hand.

They head for a paddock right outside the stables, and Julie doesn't quite trust her eyes. It seems that Arthur brought Jasper here, which is already an enormous achievement, but he also managed to saddle him. 

"Arthur, what did you do?"

Arthur doesn't answer. Instead, he winks at Julie and finally gives her hand free to walk over to Jasper. The horse is calm enough, letting Arthur pad it without trouble. Then he swings himself into the saddle. 

Julie's heart stands still. Just like she remembers from her tries with Jasper, he bucks immediately, trying to throw Arthur off. Arthur manages to stay in the saddle for a bit, but then he loses his grip. Julie remembers the Mustang, but Arthur's fall is quite different. He almost lands on his feet before rolling over on the ground and getting up as if he didn't just take a dive from an angry horse. 

Jasper runs a circle around Arthur but calms down quickly, letting Arthur take his rains. Arthur even laughs as he leads Jasper over to Julie. 

"Still not happy with me, are you, boah?" he says before feeding Jasper some sugar cubes.

Julie is looking at the scene as if in a dream, a sudden apprehension taking hold of her. "How many times have you done this?" she asks, unable to keep the horror out of her voice.

Arthur leans against the fence while Jasper tucks at his vest, looking for more treats. "A couple of times."

"Arthur-" Julie says, preparing for a rant about his health, but Arthur holds up his hands, interrupting her.

"I'm fine," he says, running his hand along Jasper's head, "this one's not as mean as he looks. And I'm doing this for a reason. It's your turn now."

"My turn?" Julie gasps. "After what just happened? He doesn't want to be ridden."

"Not by me. I'm sure he'll take you without trouble."

"Arthur, that's crazy."

Arthur turns to Julie and takes her hands, his eyes fixed on hers. "Come on, Jules. I know you're braver than that. He won't throw you, trust me."

This time, Julie can make out Arthur's eye color. It's blue with an almost golden ring in the middle. He's standing so close that Julie can feel the warmth radiating from him, and she has no idea how she could ever not trust him, even if it means she'll have to stay in bed for another week.

"Fine, I'll try it," Julie says, "but you have to get me a lot of soup when I'm out cold again."

"You won't be, I promise." Arthur's happy smile makes Julie's knees go weak, and she's thankful that he helps her to climb over the fence. For a moment, Arthur's hand rests flat on her back, and Julie holds on to Jasper's rains, having to ground herself.

Then Arthur takes a step back, and Julie realizes she just stopped breathing altogether. She takes a few deep breaths before pulling herself up in the saddle. With a tight grip on the rains and her legs clenched together, she waits for Jasper to buck her off.

"Relax, give him some space," Arthur says, and Julie follows his advice. 

She does her best to relax her legs, and when she loosens the rains, Jasper just stands there as if he's always been the sweetest horse in existence.

Arthur laughs. He sounds so genuinely happy that it melts Julie's heart. She gives Jasper a little nudge, and he walks over to Arthur, getting himself another treat.

"That's what I thought," Arthur says, rubbing the horse's neck, "you just wanted for the pretty lady to ride you instead of me, right boah?"

Julie still can't quite believe what's happening. She steers Jasper around, letting him walk in a circle. He follows every command without trouble, almost as if he's desperate to do a good job.

Arthur is leaning back against one of the fences, watching Julie with a smug smile. "Told you."

"But how did you know?" Julie asks, still utterly baffled.

"I got to know him a little when you were sick," Arthur says, sounding as if he's talking about a person and not a horse. "I actually met a few like him in my time. My guess is he's been treated poorly by men, so he prefers a woman's touch. I'm sure he'll be pretty loyal when treated right."

Somehow, Julie's not quite sure if Arthur is only talking about Jasper, or horses for that matter, but she can't think of a way to breach the subject without making Arthur uncomfortable. Instead, she rides up to him and jumps to the ground right in front of Arthur.

"Thank you," she says, trying to show Arthur how grateful she is, not just for Jasper, but for him being a decent person. At that moment, Julie can't help but throw her arms around Arthur and hug him.

For a moment, he tenses up in surprise, but then he puts his arms around Julie, carefully tapping her back. "It's nothing."

Julie pulls back, looking at Arthur. "It's incredible, Arthur. Don't play that down."

He shrugs his shoulders, some color tainting his cheeks. "You should take him out for a ride. He's been hauled up in that stable way too long."

"Only if you come with me," Julie demands, and Arthur nods after a moment.

"Sure, why not."

[nicostolemybones]

Transitioning to Manhood

Will felt a strange nostalgia looking at the box his mother had sent him, although it wasn’t a bittersweet feeling. It was a twisting feeling in his gut, a horrible reminder that his mom was clearing the house of all reminders of her child, trying to get the child she thought she remembered to snap out of a phase and return home. He picked up a knitted hat, barely the size of his fist- he’d been born premature, and his grandmother had knitted the tiny pink hat as soon as she received news of his birth. It was a pale pastel pink, almost white, a pearly quality to the colour, but years of collecting damp in a cardboard box had tinged it a dusty, damp grey. There were photographs, and Will was bombarded with pigtails and frilly dresses and patent shoes buckled with bows. “I think I would have cried if I’d been put in that monstrosity,” Lou-Ellen said softly, pointing at the photograph Will was currently holding, featuring him in a pink frilly dress for a Church wedding, holding a basket of bright pink and red rose petals, bawling his eyes out and lifting up the hem of the skirt to wipe his face. He looked about five.

The next picture showed the same dress covered in mud, Will grinning like a maniac chasing the vicar’s daughter with a worm in his hands and one shoe missing, hair a tangled mess. Cecil snorted and laughed. “Please tell me you put that worm down the back of her dress!”

“Nah, she picked up a bigger worm and chased me with it instead. We were friends in kindergarten,” Will replied, pointing out a photograph of him in pink flowery dungarees sitting opposite the girl, who was wearing the same dungarees in blue. “We made mud pies and put them in her father’s shoes in that picture,” Will said sadly, “we got into trouble for boyish behaviour and making a mess.” Will unceremoniously shoved the photographs into the bottom of the box, taking a few deep breaths.

“Are you okay, Will,” Lou-Ellen asked gently, placing her hand on his back and rubbing small circles.

“Yeah,” Will sighed, staring emptily into the box before picking out his birth certificate and staring at it. “I don’t know,” Will amended, and Cecil took the certificate out of his hands.

“We should burn this,” Cecil announced, “it’s useless. If you end up needing it for anything, you can just get it re-printed at the register office. Although you might wanna make some changes to it first. Until you can do that legally, Connor and Travis owe me a massive favour, if you’d like.” Will let out a small laugh, burying his face in his hands.

“My whole childhood is in this box,” Will said quietly, “and my mom’s throwing away all of her favourite memories of me, and I can’t bring myself to look at them.”

“Hey,” Lou-Elllen began gently, “we’ll make new memories, new photographs.These aren’t your memories, they’re your mom’s ideal childhood for you, it’s all the parts she didn’t like taken out and the select few moments she did pruned carefully and displayed to be her image of perfection. You don’t have to keep any of this, because that’s not how your childhood felt to you. They aren’t pictures of you, they’re pictures of the child your mom wanted everybody to see, they aren’t pictures that truly represent your childhood. You aren’t obliged to hold onto somebody else's image of you.”

“We can burn all of it later, mate,” Cecil offered, “just us if you want. And Nico too, of course. Kayla and Austin too maybe, if they aren’t busy.”

“Yeah,” Will sighed, “shoot it with a burning arrow or something.”

“That’s the spirit,” Cecil grinned mischievously, taking the box from Will, “I’ll go take this to my cabin and get my siblings to thoroughly vandalise everything so before you burn it you can have a laugh.”

“Thanks,” Will laughed, and Lou-Ellen pulled him into her shoulder.

“I’ll see you later, dude,” Cecil smiled, “and you, my bi-hexual girlfriend!” He kissed Lou-Ellen’s cheek and jogged off.

“Do you wanna go find Nico?”

“He’s got training now,” Will replied, “but I wanna go talk to Clarisse, do you know where I could find her?”

“I saw her heading to her cabin before I came here,” Lou-Ellen replied, “I’m gonna go work on creating some more sigils, okay?” She kissed Will’s cheek before heading towards her cabin, and Will set out to find Clarisse. She wasn’t in her cabin, or in the armory- Will found her sitting outside the currently empty Aphrodite cabin, holding a pale green and cream chiffon scarf in her hands. Will sat beside her, bumping her shoulder.

“It was Silena’s,” Clarisse said gently, “her favourite hijab. She used to cover it with pins and I’d put flowers through the pins. After we burned her shroud, we uh… her parents invited me to her funeral, at the Masjid. The mosque, that is.”

“It’s beautiful,” Will said, “you should keep it. She’d want you to have it.”

“Yeah,” Clarisse sighed, “don’t tell anyone I went soft, you hear me, Solace?”

“Message received and understood,” Will smiled, and Clarisse punched him lightly in the arm.

“She taught me how to put on makeup,” Clarisse admitted, “she used to do it real subtle, so nobody would know. She’d contour my whole face and she’d put on neutral eye shadows and clear mascara, cherry chapstick muted with matte powder.”

“I never noticed you wearing makeup,” Will replied.

“That’s because that was the point. She made it look completely natural. I’m not exactly… feminine.”

“But she taught you how you could be butch and still be pretty, right?”

“Exactly,” Clarisse replied, “she helped me to pass.”

“A true ally,” Will smiled, resting his head on her shoulder, “how have you been recovering from surgery?”

“I’ve had worse pain,” Clarisse smiled, “I’m still getting used to the extra weight on my chest, but Chris likes them just as much as I do, I think.” Will chuckled lightly, and Clarisse put her arm around him. “Anyway, you look like shit, Solace, what happened?”

“My mom,” Will replied dejectedly, “she sent a box of stuff from my childhood. I’m gonna burn it all later. Cecil’s idea.”

“I’ll be right there with you,” Clarisse said, squeezing his shoulder roughly, “providing I can take a baseball bat to everything first.”

“You can rip the birth certificate before I shoot everything with a burning arrow” Will offered, and Clarisse chuckled lightly.

“That’s my boy,” Clarisse grinned, punching his arm lightly.

“The thing is… I don’t hate my childhood,” Will began honestly. “I didn’t always know I was trans, I didn’t always hate myself, I just couldn’t understand that weird out of place feeling, you know? I didn’t know why things made me uncomfortable. I only started figuring it out when I came to camp… and now, it hurts to look at all the pictures, because they… they don’t feel like I’m looking at photographs of me, and the more I tell myself that’s me, the more I can’t stand to look at them, because I look so female. But my childhood wasn’t a sad one, I… I was loved once, I used to pretend I had nightmares so my mom would give me these butter cookies with warm milk. She knew I was usually faking it, but she didn’t care as long as I smiled.”

“Tell me more,” Clarisse probed gently, before wrapping Silena’s scarf around his shoulders when she noticed a breeze, keeping her arm around his shoulder.

“She didn’t always have a lot of time for me, with the singing and all,” Will began, “but when she did have time for me, we always did something. She used to take me to my grandma’s farm a lot. The chickens didn’t like me much, but there was this baby calf my grandma let me name. Which was a terrible decision, I called it Dustbin Grass,” Will announced with a small laugh. Clarisse snorted, and Will continued. “Anyway, the calf used to come in through the back door and lay down in the middle of the sitting room, and I’d curl up next to the calf. We had a height chart on the wall, and I’d always compare my height with the calf every week. And other days, my mom would take me on day trips. Sometimes it was just to the local park or play area, we’d feed the ducks and sit in the sun with a picnic. I’d always go on the slide, although some days it was so hot the metal burned and I’d start crying. My mom always used to wrap me up in a warm hug and she’d tell me that it was all okay.”

“That sounds nice,” Clarisse said sincerely, and Will continued to share his memories.

“I wasn’t so good with all the school stuff. When I was a kid, I hadn’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet, or dyslexia, but I still struggled. I was behind everybody in the class on my reading and writing and my handwriting was always terrible. I used to get frustrated and walk out a lot. And after break time, I always had a hard time calming down, so I used to be super bouncy and I’d need something to fidget with. And of course, I was a kid, so the louder the better. I’d get into trouble a lot and get sent out of class. I used to cry because I thought I was dumb, but my mom always told me I was the smartest. She’d take me on nature walks, and she’d point out different trees and birds and insects and I’d tell her what they were. And at one point, I could identify native birds by their calls. My mom made me feel smart, and I didn’t feel smart again until I came to camp.”

“How the fuck did they think you were dumb?”

“Classism, sexism, and ableism. Anyway, my mom and I used to have pamper weekends, where we’d just sit out in the garden with bowls of cold water for our feet and face masks, and we’d watch the clouds if there were any. Mom never used to put enough sunscreen on herself and she used to end up looking like a lobster. We’d talk about how our weeks had been, and about my mom’s record deals and tours. She mainly toured the South, she didn’t usually go far out from Texas, but I’ve always been travel sick and I can’t really handle anything over half an hour, so it was always better to leave me at home with my grandma sometimes. My mom and I lived in the city in Austin, but my grandma lived on a ranch. She used to make me cookies all the time and she’d tell me stories of mom’s childhood and her childhood. She’d tell me how lucky I was. My grandma was a lesbian, but things when she were young were… well, worse than they are today, so… she married a man and had kids and buried who she was. She always told me that I couldn’t help who I was, and that if ever I figured myself out and I wasn’t straight, then it was okay and she’d love me just the same. The vicar used to sit and have tea with my grandma every day, because he had a gay son and he wanted her advise on how to support him.”

“Your gran is a legend,” Clarisse smiled, “is she still with us or…”

“I wish I knew,” Will sighed sadly, “grandpa died when I was six and the year after, my nan met a woman, and she moved away and my mom refused to let me have her address or contact her. Everyone always assumes my mom is kind and loving because I have such happy childhood memories. But when you have a child, if you can’t love your child unconditionally, then you never loved them at all. I grew up, knowing, just knowing… that one day, I’d do or say something and my mom would know I was bisexual and my mom wouldn’t love me anymore. Knowing that your own mother will stop loving you, for the very thing that gets you beat up in the playground, for the very thing that gets you harassed, knowing that your own mother believes with all of her heart that her child deserves to burn in hellfire and brimstone for eternity just for being attracted to somebody… from a young age I knew that my mother’s love was conditional. For years, I knew that I didn’t meet the conditions for my mother’s love. And then I stopped going home because I was scared and I wasn’t ready to be abandoned by the same woman who promised unconditional love. And then I came out as trans to her and… she sends me the box. And it’s not just a box to remind me of my childhood, it’s all her favourite memories. It’s the drawings she stuck to the fridge, the photos she showed guests, the things she was most proud of me for. It’s her way of telling me that she hates me so much that those memories are worthless to her. Happy childhoods are empty gestures when a parent’s love is conditional. And I have to face biphobia and transphobia every day of my life, but it’s worse knowing I don’t have a home. My home is a summer camp. I’m alone. If the woman who swore to love me unconditionally, swore by her bible to love me and protect me and fulfil her god given role as a parent, can cast me aside like I’m disgusting, then how am I ever meant to feel anything but wrong? How am I meant to convince myself I’m worthy of love? I can’t even use public restrooms without fearing for my safety, how am I meant to feel safe enough to trust anybody?”

“Hey,” Clarisse began, squeezing Will’s shoulder, “you’re never alone. No matter what, I’ve got your back. I’ll kick a transphobes teeth, you know I will. We have to stick together, we can’t let the community be divided, okay? We’ll look out for each other. You’re not unloved. I love you. My mom is your mom now, okay? Actually no, I’m your mom now, kiddo. And you have the best friends you could ask for, okay? Lou-Ellen can and will hex anybody who tries to put you down. Cecil’s always got your back, he pranked that Athena kid real good, remember? And you have Nico. You’re dating the Son of Hades. He can and will turn anyone into a ghost if they hurt you. That boy loves you, okay? Your self-worth is not defined by your mother’s prejudice. Nico’s friends- Jason, Percy, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, Piper, Reyna, Leo- they’re all allies we can trust. You’re not a boy anymore, Solace, you’re a man now. You’re making your own way in a world where the odds are stacked against you. You just gotta keep going. People will hate you no matter what you do. So surround yourself with allies, keep going no matter how bleak, stay strong, and when you can’t stay strong, use your support network. We’ll both survive if we stick together. If you feel scared to go outside, come and find me. We’ll keep each other safe. And remember. You’re perfect, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Aphrodite would want you to respect yourself and love yourself. Your dad would want you to shine and spread light amongst the hate, to rise no matter how many times you’re pushed down. My dad would want you to fight back and never stop fighting for your rights, our rights, for what you believe in. And I’m sure most of the other gods support you too.”

“Damn girl, now I know why you’re in charge of motivational battle speeches,” Will smiled, and Clarisse ruffled his hair.

“Good boy. Now, you’re gonna get back to that infirmary, and carry on as normal, okay? And then we’re gonna burn your birth certificate and all the other stuff.”

“I had my T shot this morning,” Will stated with a small smile, “after a few months, people no longer misgender me when they hear my voice and for once in my life, I like how I sound. I feel like me. My dysphoria is… it’s so much less intense than it used to be. I feel safer in public, I feel confident enough to speak as loud as I want without fearing judgment or misgendering or violence.”

“You’re getting a bit of a fluffy mustache too there, Solace,” Clarisse teased light-heartedly, and Will laughed happily. “I’ve gotta go teach the Aphrodite girls some self-defence classes, you have to prepare for the influx of inevitable injuries because the Ares cabin and the Athena cabin are sparring in the arena.”

Will went about the rest of his day with his head held high. For once, he felt proud of who he was, of the man he’d become, of the way he hadn’t let the hate he’d heard turn him hateful, how he helped people, how he tried his best to make every camper feel like they had a safe space, a home. He never wanted anybody to feel the way he had for such a long time. He prided himself on his kindness, and he vowed never to lose it.

So later that day, the camp stood around a pit of flames at the beach, all turned out to show their solidarity bar a few. Will wore his flag as a cape, and everybody cheered when Clarisse marched in still in her armour from the day, with a ‘fuck the cis-tem’ jacket, and ripped up Will’s birth certificate. Will smiled as he threw the photographs into the flames, one by one, his friends all cheering and clapping. He watched every painful reminder, every perfect image of his mother’s ideal child- graffitied on with funny mustaches and devil horns on his mom, courtesy of the Hermes cabin- of conditional love and rejection, go up in flames. For once, Will wasn’t defined by his past, but rather by his future, one surrounded by allies and friends from all walks of life. People of many religions and races, sexualities, and genders. And even better, he received a loving kiss from his boyfriend in front of the crowd. For once, he didn’t look back.

@solangeloweek day 2, childhood/back story building