#i wanna kill myself so badly I'm not even sad man i just. god.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Sorry sorry but I can't help myself, the power this man holds I swear. I feel like aaron and brian just fit them so right??

Sorry for the angst, I actually wanted to save it for when you're requests are open but I thought it's too sad and you might not want to write it. Is it ok if I extend it a little and send it a few days later? (Apologies if it's too much but you've just awoken something in me that I didn't know I had)

But I'm so in love wirh the idea that you'd be that one unfathomably cool trio that is just so reckless and chaotic. We'd be the brain of the group (if that makes sense) and the only one who thinks before we act. Feel like we would be able to handle ourself in small fights, so he sometimes just stands there, awe struck, watching you like, yep, that's my girl. But god forbid someone manages to lay a finger on you, he'll see red. He WILL choke the man to death, no questions asked.

In the novel it is mentioned that he likes to read while on missions (when he has the time that is) so I can just imagine him grabbing two books for both of you as you sit and read like the classy couple that you two are. ("Killed 12 people and y'all are over here reading." lem, probably)

This is so self indulgent so I apologize but if you're first language isn't english, he WILL learn a few things just for you. He adores the surprised look on your face, followed by that pretty smile and laugh of yours.

In an interview with aaron and brian, aaron looked confused at the word "simp" and I can just picture that with tan and lem. He doesn't spend that much time on the internet so when lem hits him with the "You're whipped." or "Man's got it down bad." he'd look so confused.

Ok but imagine you trim his moustache, omg, he'll have you sit on his lap, his hands gently placed on your waist, you'd be too focused to notice the soft look in his eyes. "Darlin' stop smiling, I'll mess up." he mutter a sorry but the smile still remains present on his face.

Rewatched the movie, love the way this man looks in his full suit. Gotta ask, what's your fav scene of him? Or maybe your fav line of his? I'm in love with the way he explains the white death's backstory, he looks so good in that scene too. Also like the way he says tickety-boo, it's just so silly. Again, I'm so sorry, I said I'll wait a few days but I just couldn't. Just when I send in the ideas I get new ones, no thoughts, head empty, only tan. If you want I'll write them in my notes and save them for few days later.

💺 anon

hii!

1. not to worry, he still has me in one too. and right?!?

2. don’t worry about it!! was a beautifully sad idea. yes yes!! you’re more than welcome to expand it

3. YES!!! like the brainy/ maybe techy one. I feel like he’d let you have your moment/ revenge/ fighting time etc until it gets too close, like he knows you can handle yourself and don’t need a guy to defend/ protect, but tan wouldn’t risk it. like after a few minutes if you’re still fighting, he’ll come and help (he knows you could’ve done it, but again he didn’t wanna risk you getting killed/ really badly injured) you’re like “I nearly had him” and he’s like “yeah, I know” but he’s grinning and checking you over for cuts/ wounds etc

4. UGHH I LOVE THAT!! very classy, sitting in first class, legs crossed reading the same book😩 that lem moment😭😭perfect

5. omg yes!!! even more cute and perfect if it’s broken and the verbs and tenses are wrong and he says something in different language and you’re like “you said, ‘I am very beautiful’” 😭😭😭 and you’re trying not to laugh or embarrass him

6. AHAHAHA yes!! I feel like lem knows lots of the lingo, and tan is at a loss, “peng? what the fuck is peng” “what the fuck does that mean?” so lem is always educating him on the words. I feel like he sounds old when he asks about it, like “when did people stop saying …” “what’s wrong with saying …”

7. 🫠🫠🫠🫠 that’s all I gotta say about that one, omg!!?! melting and crying at that thought. WANT THAT

8. well… I haven’t watched it in a while, but I have many memorable moments. so I love when he walks off the train and lighting his cig (for obvious reasons) when he’s punching the back train window (again, for obvious reasons) when he and lem are debating the 16/17 kill count. and quotes … “you following me? stop… arsehole” and something along the lines of “story about when gordon met percy and how percy’s bleeding from his fucking eye sockets” “not particularly, no” “some 80s dance off, innit” AAAAHH NEED TO REWATCH IT AGAIN SO BAD

don’t worry about it bby, if and evenever you get ideas, keep them in your notes and then like this time and last send them over. don’t worry about sending in a few days, if you wanna, send them when you want. I said send too many times😭😭 hope you catch my drift

[love-hatred-stuff]

Pieces } Lim Jaebeom [got7]

genre: angst

warning(s): none actually, mentions of murder, heartbreak

word count: about 1.5k

note: so this is just a short oneshot that I wrote, it's kinda sad and doesn't have a happy end, inspired by this song:

Prehistory:

You and Jaebeom broke up a long time ago. No, actually it was only him that broke up with you and disappeared without any reason.

But the worst thing was that your last memories together were horrible. He was cold as ice to you and stopped showing affection to you completely about a week before you two separated your ways.

And one day he came to you with a sadistic smile and told you he wanted to break up. You weren't very sensitive about those things but it truly broke your heart. Of course you had loved him, you had thought he was the love of your life for quite a while before everything came out as a pure disaster.

What made you sad the most was that you thought he had loved you as well, but obviously you were wrong and had to find out the rough way.

You never forgot how he had looked down at you while you tried to find out what the reason was for this sudden break up. Because all he was responding was that he was dumping you. He asked you if you thought that you would be special and with that all your trust for him broke. So you immediately had made your way out of his apartment and left.

The love you both had shared was broken into pieces and he knew that, he just didn't wanted to realise that.

And eventually, you never saw each other again.

But until this day you ask yourself what the actual reason was or if he really had lost all his feelings for you in a matter of six days. You found it hard to believe but continued to live your own life, without him in it.

It had needed a while until you were pretty persuaded that it was better this way, for the both of you.

~

Your relationship didn't exactly start on good terms. Because you were born into a mafia family and everyone except you were deep into this illicit business. That's also basically how you met him.

He had to kill one of your brothers but didn't in the end because he started to have feelings for you after awhile.

Skipping a few months, Jeobeom and you started dating. It never was easy with him, because he had kind of a broken character. He never learned how to give or receive love. You were the one that had thaught him everything he knew about affection.

~

Jaebeom's POV

present

I was finally back in her town and it gave me chills that rolled down my spine.

Never had I ever experienced something so intense like I did with Y/N and breaking her heart the way I did was the most cruel thing I had ever done in my life.

Not just that, it was really stupid of me.

I left her because she would be safer without me by her side. But I figured now that it didn't made any difference. We were always in danger, no matter if we're together or not.

And I want her back, badly. Since the day I broke her heart.

My heart hurts since the time we've been taking separated ways too.

I know that the chanve is low for her to forgive me, but I can't live without her in my life any longer. It's a wonder that I have made it until this day.

~

I was in the same apartment that I had been living in when I got the job to kill one of Y/N's brothers.

I never finished this mission because it just felt wrong to do that while I was loving the sister of his.

My plan was to visit her that day to apologise for all of my mistakes.

•••

I was standing in front her door taking a deep breath while asking myself if I really should do this.

But I had to, I loved her.

She thought me how to love and I had left her, alone, all by herself.

I hated myself for that. At least as much as she must hate me.

Now she deserved at least an excuse from me.

Suddenly I heard a female laughing from inside the apartment and frowned when it was followed by a male chuckling.

I didn't thaught about that until this moment. What if she's not alone anymore?

This thought scared me. What would I do if I couldn't win her back?

My eyes got teary without even having to see her face.

God, I was so broken.

I compelled myself to knock finally and waited for someone to open up.

It needed a few seconds before the door slowly swung open and revealed the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

I could see how her whole body tensed and her eyes slightly widened in shock.

I sensed, it wasn't a good kind of shock.

She doesn't want to see me.

Y/N breathed out to calm down and opened her mouth to say something.

"Jaebeom? What do want here?" Her voice was monotone and sounded like she really didn't want me here.

"I- Needed to see you." Was all I could press out, before looking down to the floor.

Afraid to encounter her stern gaze full of hate.

"We didn't see each other for a year. What makes you wanna see me now?" She asked, probably getting angry inside.

"I don't know. I think I miss you, Y/N." I guilty looked in her eyes.

She snorted out shortly and gave me a questionable look.

"You don't have the right to miss me, Jaebeom."

"I know, but I do anyways. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm here to say sorry." I explained while trying to figure out what she thought at that moment.

"Should I congratulate you for having the courage to appear after a year? No, sorry, I don't need your excuse. You made everything clear the day you ended our relationship." She stated and kept a cold look on her perfect face.

A tear slipt out of my eye while trying my best to not break down into pieces again.

"I'm deeply sorry for everything I said that night. Everything I told you was bullshit. I didn't want to dump you, I wanted to protect you. And you were special to me Y/N, the most important person in my life. I need to talk to you, please." I begged and grasped her hand.

"You broke my heart that day. You broke our love and everything we had in pieces, Jaebeom. Nothing will ever change that. I accepted that and am over you. You should move on as well. It's for the best."

I grabbed her hand tighter, not wanting to let go, as the tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"No Y/N, I love you. And only you." I confessed.

But then something disturbed us.

"Y/N, is everything all right?" A man asked from behind, causing her to take her hand from mine and turning her head to look at him.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I will come back soon." She assured him with a calming smile.

That smile that I wished she would give me some day again. Just once, once and I wouldn't complain anymore.

The man nodded and disappeared again.

"Who is that?" I wanted to know.

What if he was more than just a friend?

"He is my fiancè, if you really wanna know." She turned back to me.

I gulped in pain, feeling how my heart wrenched inside my chest.

"I said that I was over you, Jaebeom. You had your chance long ago and made me feel like I was worth absolutely nothing. But he made me feel worth the world. I'm sorry you have to find this out now. But I think you should go."

I never cried, but now I couldn't help. Now I knew how it was to feel your haert break into a million pieces.

"Goodbye, Jaebeom. Take care." She shoved me back a bit so she could close the door behind her.

I just stood there, frozen in my movements.

Everything I could do was cry.

I didn't felt capable of doing anything else in this moment.

  ●  ●

•Jaebeom•

♫"I'll be falling down,

You be watching by side,

I just need you in my life"

"Clouds keep turning black,

Baby, please just call me back,

You keep living in my mind,

Feel your soul inside"

"Falling into pieces, I'm so alone"♫

●  ●

•Y/N•

"The sadest part about falling out of love with you was that I remember how much I loved you.

I remember every single breathless, heartstopping, joy filled moment with you, and you ruined it.

I wish I could remember you fondly but you broke me so many times that I can't remember how to."

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

The last words were copies and are not my original lines

The pictures that I used for this cover are not mine, all credits to the owners

[janiedean]

I'm the anon who said you don't glorify obesity. Look I don't know anything about that ship y'all keep referring to and I don't know who "Hunk" is or whatever, I'm talking in general terms. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SHIPPING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT just to clarify. I think it's wrong that people glorify being skinny but I don't think glorifying obesity is any better (I'm talking about more than overweight - ACTUALLY OBESE)

I’m probably not explaining myself properly but I think people should be able to ship whatever they want, the shipping was never my point. I just think the way people on the internet have been going on like “Fat women are goddesses!!! Real women have curves!!! If you don’t agree you’re fatphobic!!!” is wrong. I have been hospitalized twice for anorexia, I know how being skinny is glorified but I don’t think switching it around so it becomes “being obese is totally awesome and if you say otherwise you’re a horrible fatphobe” is any better. I’m sorry for sending you so many messages, I’ll stop now.

okay so GIVEN THAT WE ALREADY CLARIFIED OURSELVES ON THE MISUNDERSTANDING: the problem is that we were actually talking about shipping XD and the other anon decided it had to be about health but like the problem in general is that as usual (on tumblr and I guess in the US because it’s mostly US beauty standards I’m seeing thrown around) is that there’s no middle way in anything. I mean, like:

body shaming is a thing. in general. the problem is that fatshaming is, like, a thing that is more culturally spread than the contrary even if in some countries (ie italy) there’s this concept that if you’re skinnier than a size 42 (I guess it’s like an S or small M) you’re omg so unhealthy please EAT SOME PUT MEAT ON YOUR BONES WHY DO U HATE GOOD FOOD, but it’s more of an older generation thing. like, I’ve had problems with weight bc when I was in freaking elementary school people would go like ‘omg you’re so fat’ at me and I thought I was and then I looked at some pictures years later and I was like ‘… wtf I was perfectly fine what the hell’ and there’s a general implication that fat/overweight = unhealthy when it’s not necessarily the case.

the problem is that when it comes to body positivity there is like literally zero distinction between curvy, overweight, fat and obese which are not the same thing, and there is zero distinction between body positivity and promote a healthy lifestyle. I mean, according to US standards someone who’s fat would be… like… normal here? a size M is seen as perfectly regular stuff but from what I see of US sizes, M is like OMG I’M FAT already, which… like. here it’s maybe curvy. also being some 3/4kgs overweight never killed anyone. but since I see ZERO DISTINCTION here, it’s all thrown in the same bag and it’s the exact same for people who have 3 kgs more than average, 10, 25, 50 or freaking 200. which is obviously not the same.

also, there is the complete lack of realizing what it means to be healthy and to not be thin. like, as has been said already it’s absolutely not a guarantee that being thin or skinny means that you’re healthy (I had a friend who used to be chubby, then got sick with a freaking chronic disease and came out of it with a body that ended up finding her a job as a fashion model but SHE STILL WAS HEALTHIER BEFORE THE FREAKING CHRONIC DISEASE), I’ve struggled with my extra kgs all my damned life and whenever I go on vacation with friends that are thinner than me but move around less or don’t go to the gym and the likes I am the one who can walk for longer or gets tired less and I have better blood tests than my father who’s at his ideal weight and takes five pills for a bunch of different stuff. some people are just heavier as a body type but if it’s their body and it’s not due to shitty eating or lack of exercise or whatever then they’re not unhealthy. obviously severely obese people who can’t walk for more than twenty minutes without feeling like fainting aren’t in that category but like never mind that for a moment, the problem is that your size doesn’t automatically mean unhealthy and having 20 extra kgs on you makes you fat maybe but not freaking obese.

THEN, on body positivity: there is a healthy difference between NOT BEING A JERK and spreading awareness re healthy habits. like, society/media and the likes shouldn’t promote being thin, they should promote being healthy ie eating well and exercising, not THIN = HEALTHY. as stated you can be healthy without being thin. (or, as the character we were talking about that you weren’t referencing, you can be mostly muscle and have some chub over it and THAT’S NOT BEING OBESE XD at the same time, if someone is overweight or obese or whatever for any reason whatsoever you can’t go at them and tell them omg go lose some weight you loser THAT’S HORRIBLE. I mean, there’s a difference between saying that one should try to be as healthy as possible and go like OMG YOU’RE FAT YOU’RE HORRIBLE. if body positivity means not shaming someone else for their body then go the fuck for it. the problem is that then according to people saying ‘okay but if you can’t walk to the supermarket and back without feeling short of breath and you might get heart diseases maybe you should consider dropping some extra weight for your own benefit’ is fatphobic which… lolno. not everyone is fat because of bad habits and they shouldn’t have people making them feel bad even if they are but assuming that the above sentence (especially when doctors recommend you to do more exercise) is inherently fatphobic imo is ridiculous. if my doctor tells me I should lose some weight then I’m gonna consider it and I’m not gonna feel like he’s *phobic*, if someone goes like ‘omg you’re so fat you’ll never find a guy who wants you’, that is fatphobic. like, THERE’S A DIFFERENCE. (at the same time people who are skinny/thinner than average shouldn’t get told all the time OMG PUT SOME MEAT ON THAT SKELETON REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES like fuck’s sake respect all body types. being a real woman has zero to do with how much meat you have on you.) what should be glorified is be healthy and be happy with whatever body type you have as long as it doesn’t cause you problems and at that point nicely try to make those problems right while you’re encouraged without shaming anyone in the process. (which also means: gdi don’t put other people down if they’re trying to gain weight or lose it, ffs.)

now, the problem with shipping: the thing is - and I swear to god I don’t wanna sound like a sjw now but I hope the previous essay has made clear how I feel in general on this issue - that, in my experience, fat/overweight characters especially if they’re male are seen as… either the laughing stock of the group or the harmless nerd or anyway never as sexual objects. every damned time I ship something where a guy is overweight/fat (notable exceptions jacob and queenie from fantastic beasts which tbh really was a nice surprise for the part where the fat guy who’s also a sweetheart hooks up with the bombshell and it’s THE BEST ROMANCE OF ALL good go you man) right as rain there’s rarely fic for it least of all porn, and even if there is someone will go around saying the fat character isn’t attractive or deserving of getting some. when I say ‘sam tarly syndrome’ I mean ‘fat/overweight guy is a sweetheart who has a lot of nice ships they could be in but they get thoroughly ignored or if it happens in canon fandom lols at it’. I mean, I basically had to start the jon/sam tag on my own (if you see the fics at the beginning it’s honestly sad to see TEN of mine all after the other), once on a kinkmeme I was like ‘okay doing it’ at a pwp prompt and I got as an answer OMG I WAS HOPING YOU’D SEE THIS NO ONE ELSE IN THIS FANDOM WRITES PORN FOR THESE TWO and whenever people discuss canon sex scenes…. the only one in the book that always gets lol-ed at is sam and gilly’s in spite of the fact that okay, it’s badly written, but ALL of the sex scenes in asoiaf except one are badly written. it’s not worse than the average. but sam getting some because a relatively hot girl wants him and the sex - omg! - actually being somewhat not vanilla is seen as… like… OMG HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S GETTING SOME OMG HOW EMBARRASSING as if this guy being overweight means he can’t be seen as a palatable partner when it comes to having a sex life. same as the other anon being like ‘omg hunk (the person we were referring) is fat and unhealthy so he’s not good enough for the other person’ is… exactly the same. I mean, this hunk character is admittedly the one person in that bunch I’d actually date irl same as sam is the one character from asoiaf I’d date irl the others are completely out of the question, but since they’re *fat* naaaaah? and guess what sam/WHOEVER is a lot less popular than ships which make a lot less sense but are two hot characters stashed together bc they’re hot. (jaime/sansa has like 300+ fics and jon/sam is still under 100 but okay sure tell me it’s because it makes no sense. lol no. and being that the only porn around for those two was written by me and maybe two/three other people says all.)

at that point then people go like ‘well but it’s because they’re unhealthy’ and that is when it becomes ridiculous. because going with the above problem re fatshaming being a thing that happens on a societal level, it becomes IF YOU’RE FAT YOU’RE NOT SEXUALLY DESIRABLE AND NO ONE SHOULD WANT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR UNHEALTHY WEIGHT, which mixes stuff that doesn’t even go together with being sexually desirable which is something inherently personal. as in: if someone who’s unhealthily fat for whichever reason has a significant other who loves them and their body guess what THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A SEXUAL LIFE AND TO BANG PEOPLE/GET BANGED TO THEIR PLEASURE. because when it comes to preferences in the bedroom or loving a person, size can be a thing - some people have certain body shapes preferences and so on - or it cannot be a thing at all and anyway it doesn’t matter when it comes to your right to be seen as desirable/being desirable. people of all sizes can be desirable or sexy or definitely sexually available regardless of the size - like everyone is freaking allowed to be sexually desirable even if they don’t conform to whichever is the beauty canon around.

and given that I personally got told more than once also by admittedly well-meaning people that they wouldn’t ever consider seeing me as desirable because I was overweight or not as thin as other hot person around our class or even better, the aforementioned friend who turned out to be a fashion model using that as some coping mechanism (as in, she didn’t like being sick obv. but since she had come out of it with a scorching hot physique while I had then undiagnosed pcos so I was struggling with weight all the damned time and I was healthy otherwise... er let’s say that she used to tell me stuff like ‘ah well look at you and look at me instead how much better looking I am’ which obviously was in order to make herself feel better about her illness but sure as hell didn’t help me feeling good about myself), I’m honestly fucking tired of this whole trend in shipping where overweight/fat people don’t get any from their hot best friends with whom they’re absolutely shippable but the hot friends get shipped instead with the most improbable hot people that happens in 90% of fandoms I run into. because it’s just a reflection of how irl if you’re overweight a lot of the time people will say that your weight puts you out of the goddamned dating field and everyone deserves to be in there, damn it, regardless of their size. it has nothing to do with being healthy or unhealthy. and saying shit like ‘omg X is fat they’re not good enough for Y’ is really fucking old already. 

 tldr: I hope I made clear why I got pissed at the other anon and what I think of the whole matter. obviously no one has to glorify being *unhealthy* (extreme obesity and anorexia are both unhealthy) and no one needs to put other groups down while doing it (looking at you n*icki m*inaj - like sorry but according to my standards she’s thin, having a nice ass doesn’t make you *fat* or curvy, and going like FUCK ALL THOSE SKINNY BITCHES is the exact contrary of body positivity tbh). but at the same time everyone deserves to be seen as sexually desirable and it’s bullshit that the current narrative depicts being overweight as something undesirable. both in society and in fandom.

/peace