#i very much rely on people's opinions on me to feel validated /J

[mesanthropi]

see, i was supposed to just ramble in the tags. but. this happened, so... enjoy.

your misunderstanding.

"yeah, i'd probably get like... angel or something," you thought aloud. "i have the voice for her, but that depends, really. i mean- what's to expect in this show, y'know?" shrugging your shoulders, you then turned to the shortest of you three, smiling with interest and curiosity. "what about you, who do you think you'll get in the play?"

luke looked between you and 'wei' (or that's what you remember of xir name), before pointing at himself. "me? uh, dunno. maybe spoons. you know, the character you hate?" he laughed at the groan you let out. "come on, do you actually hate the guy- because he's pretty funny, just like me. ain't that just a no-brainer for the casting?"

the nudges to your arm went ignored as you rolled your eyes, before directing them to wei. you couldn't help but notice how xe'd just kept staring at you the whole time, it prompted some doubt that xe was even listening. but pushing that aside and looking on the bright side, you waved a hand. "what about you, wei? is that your name?"

"... weiiiiiiiss?" luke waved his own hand in front of xir face, as if he were trying to snap xem out of a trance. "this is theatre, a.k.a your big highschool phase coming to bite you in the ass, i thought you'd like it." he paused though, before looking to you. silence fell over the space you'd all taken, a little awkard for you (because seriously, why are they just staring at you-?) until-

"what the fuck-" the other student let out the profanity upon getting xir shoe stepped on. the brunette boy chuckled, shaking his head before putting a hand on xir head. "edelweiss went to la-la-land," he joked after dodging a jab to the side. "but i do remember talking about that with 'em once, ain't that right, pal?"

weiss only grumbled something in response, not enough for you to hear though. but apparently, enough for luke, who nodded in acknowledgement (as far as you could tell anyway). while the two talked and you half-listened, there was bitterness starting to make itself at home within your feelings pool. you couldn't help the subtle sulk in your expression; was xe deliberately ignoring you? did you say something wrong? did xe have anything against you? goddamn. all that staring and awkwardness just to find out that xe could talk to luke just fine.

rude... your thoughts could be seen on your face. whatever.

what really happened.

as [name] spoke, xe was half-listening, if xe was being honest. there absolutely was no way that the conversation could be processed, not like this! especially with such a nice-looking and nice-sounding person in front of xem, god no. despite the particularly amusing thoughts from earlier ('okay, get it, david tennant!'), it had been replaced with high-key simping.

maybe not really simping, but- you know. admiration. but what was there to ignore, especially when it was right in front of you? 'oh, how gorgeous they were, words falling out at a steady trickling like niagra falls!'

if xe wasn't such a sappy asshole who was often knee-deep in delusions, this wouldn't be happening.

but... it was probably the way [name] was so easy to get along with. at least with what xe had seen, as far as xe could remember from being quite the starer. they spoke to others no problem, went around problems with unique solutions- and did xe mention that they were really fucking pretty? no? then alright. [name] [surname] looked fucking amazing, even for a private school.

maybe they'd be friends if xe trie- "what the fuck-" and that was when luke had jabbed his heel into xir toes, which wasn't the most pleasant feeling. poor weiss would have cussed him out, putangina and all that vulgar stuff, but they had face to keep. and they would never do that in front of them, xe'd never hear the end of it.

"edelweiss went to la-la-land," luke joked after dodging a jab to the side, much to xir dismay. "but i do remember talking about that with 'em once, ain't that right, pal?"

"this horacio is going to kill you, luke," xe grumbled, brows furrowing as xe crossed their arms. hopefully they didn't... uh, notice. the thought was a tad too late though, as we all know. hoooooooo boy, i probably fucked up, look at their face. that's the face of disappointment and all that. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck you, luke.

nevermind, xe can be aware of these kinds of things sometimes.

yes, my 'full name' is edelweiss. no, i'm not german and i'm not white, lmao. anywayz!! please obliterate me

Moot game asks 👀 Count me in on that stuff, I absolutely love them.

We've had crimes so far, but what would your mutuals be as meet-ugly tropes, rather than meet-cute? To shake things up a little.

(🧚 anon, possibly?)

ohh cool!! and yes ofc you can be 🧚‍♀️ anon ^^

@wheeboo sees you as you're destroying a tombstone in the cemetery while she's with her friend to pay their respects at their grandmother's grave. you're destroying the tombstone bc it belongs to some ancestor of yours who was an ass/ dealt with the devil/ did some fucked-up shit that led you to have a horrible fate or curse, but of course rania doesn't know that, so now she has you branded as a grave-vandaliser and speaks to you so coldly when she sees you next, before reluctantly having to partner with you to save the world from some cursed/ crazed lunatics who were just like your ancestor

@slytherinshua is in the middle of a breakdown in the campus library when you meet her, and honestly you feel bad for telling her to leave, bc you know how stressful midterms can be so you try to tell her as nicely as possible that she needs to leave. but she's so stressed that she blows up on you, before blinking in surprise at her own outburst and promptly scrambling out of the library, taking her laptop but leaving her textbooks. you meet her in the library again, as she awkwardly apologises and asks if you have her books, and you give both the textbooks and your number to her at the same time

@weird-bookworm trips over her own feet and slams right into you during your first meeting. she's horribly late to her class, so she doesn't even turn around to apologize before speeding off, leaving you disoriented and pissed. and weirdly, you two keep meeting, where she runs into you and then runs off bc she's always late for something, causing you to view her as this impolite clutz until one day, she catches your hand as you're about to fall down the stairs, and then gives you such a relieved grin that you think- oh. well, that's new.

@rubywonu borrows a pen from you and then never gives it back. she'd tapped you on the shoulder and asked for it so sweetly, but then at the end of the class she simply zoomed out of the door with your favourite pen, never to be seen again. you don't see her until a few months later, and turns out she's a friend of a friend so you reluctantly get close and eventually realise she's a rlly cool person, deciding to forgive her for the pen. you bring it up one day, though, and her eyes widen bc she totally forgot too, and the next day she brings you a whole pack of that same exact pen that she'd bought just for you

@etherealyoungk hnnjg it's hard to think of meet-uglies for skye but,,, the first time she sees you, it's when you're cursing out your ex in public while dramatically breaking up with him. your ex played up the role of an innocent victim, even though they were definitely in the wrong, and you'd looked like an utter bitch to the public. but then she sees you again, as the barista in a cafe she decided to go to one day, and all she can think of is that you look so sad, not like a crazy bitch. one day, while she's sitting in the cafe (because yes, she's now a regular customer) your ex storms in and starts tearing you apart in the near-empty cafe, and without even thinking about it, skye jumps in to defend you

@mesanthropi is so mesmerised when xe first sees you that xe just . just blanks you. you're trying to ask what role xe'd most likely to get in the school play, but xe's just blinking, totally straight-faced, so your friend has to be the one to talk to xem instead. you're thinking 'wow, rude', without realizing that xe was just so in awe of how pretty you are and short-circuited. as the play rehearsals go on, with you and your friend as co-directors, you see weiss relax around u and deliver stellar performances and slowly, you start to become friends. and who knows? maybe you'll fall in love too.

@blue-jisungs meets you for the first time when she's walking her dog (idk if u actually have a dog but PRETEND YOU DO) and you've recently lost your dog, who looks an awful like axe's..... so you accost her in the middle of the street and demand that she gives your dog back, even though it's hers, and everything is all just a bit too chaotic and confusing for axe on a sunday morning, so she tells you to go away and ushers her dog away from the crazy stranger. then, she passes a missing dog sign on her way back from work that looks a lot like hers, and realises you were telling the truth. she dials the number, tells you that she's the person you saw the other day, and asks that maybe, if you're willing... she could help you look for your dog?

@wonwoonlight is yelling down the phone at her desk when you first meet her, and that has you being terrified of your colleague for all of six months after you meet her. you're a new addition to their department, with khione as your team leader, and she's so frustrated with some idiot when you first see her in the office, basically (justifiably) tearing them a new one for their incompetence, but after that, you're always seeing her as this strict, horrible person until one day she takes care of you during a corporate dinner while you're not feeling your best, scolding you gently for coming when you feel ill and calling a cab to take you home early

@icyminghao is someone you know from childhood, and honestly, you can't remember your first ever meeting. but you do have an early memory of her playing 'got your nose' with you and making you cry, and ever since then, she's been a nuisance in your life. that is, until some school project has you being forced to truly work together, and after you put aside your annoyance, your irritation melts away into something akin to fondness, finding her cheerinees something adorable rather than annoying

[akookminsupporter]

I think that a lot of accounts spreading false info of different kinds rely very heavily on the fact that most people have a hard time believing someone would, with uttermost confidence, lie straight to their face, especially if it’s someone they’ve come to know (however superficially) and like. This becomes even more true if you WANT to believe what this person is telling you. Bias can be a very dangerous thing.

I think a lot of iArmy struggle a bit with the fact that they are not and will never be “in the know”. KArmy will always know things before us, they might not always share all the information they have and we will always have to rely heavily on translation accounts and others interpretation of nuance. We also always have to consider our own cultural bias when we watch and interpret their interactions.

Korean is a complex language that rely heavily on context. Taekookers being called “mistranslation nation” is occasionally based on straight up lies but it’s often based on tkk biased translators using the most favorable possible translation. If a word can mean both friend and beloved they will use beloved even though it’s very unlikely based on the way taekook interact and the context that that was the intention. Then they feel unfairly prosecuted when people point this out and in the end it just feeds the Us against Them narrative and the tkker belief that they are being unfairly hunted for their opinions because other shippers are scared. (Other shippers are mostly just amazed at the size of the mountain they’ve built from that mole hill.)

There’s also a, to me, very interesting either/or mentality in this fandom that I feel jikookers (especially on Twitter) get pulled into a little too often. It’s this idea that if Jikook isn’t real then taekook is, which is simply laughable. If Jikook are not in a romantic relationship, which is entirely possible, they still have the closest friendship in BTS and if that were to change at some point in the future it still wouldn’t make taekook real. Both Jungkook and Taehyung are much more likely to be in a relationship with Jimin, Jin or J-Hope than they are to be in a relationship with each other.

Hi anon, how are you? You made several interesting points on which I would like to make some comments. I'll go paragraph by paragraph, if that's OK with you.

Maybe. That's why I always say "think wrong and you'll be right" although in this case it would be "mistrust and you'll be right". Or something like that, translating a saying that I only know in Spanish into English is difficult. You are also right when you say that it becomes easier to believe what they say when they say what YOU want to read or hear, it's as if you get validation of your thoughts.

It's definitely a problem with the language barrier and having to rely on what other people say the guys said. That's why I always read more than one translation and compare them.

I also think K-ARMY don't share absolutely everything, I'm not saying they know secrets or have important information, but I also don't think they share absolutely everything, like if they saw them or something. As I said in another ask, they are quite protective of BTS. 

The problem with tkkrs and translations is that they don't just do mistranslations, they make them up! which is even worse.

That's something I've also noticed. the belief that if Jikook isn't real then taekook is. I don't understand how many have come to that conclusion. It's like they don't notice how Jungkook and Tae act around each other, the physical and romantic attraction can maybe be hidden to some extent but not all the damn time, and between JK and Tae there is none of that in my opinion. Jikook and Taekook are not mutually exclusive. I said it once but I'll say it again. I can't say for sure that Jikook is real, but I'm willing to say for sure that Taekook is not. At least not in a romantic context.

[butcherhasbeef-blog]

What You're Actually Saying When You Ask People to Use Your Preferred Pronouns

Not too long ago I stumbled upon the ever so thirsty Riley J. Dennis' video how intentionally mis-gendering someone is an act of violence. In the sources there was an article called WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY SAYING WHEN YOU IGNORE SOMEONE’S GENDER PRONOUNS 

It's the usual article that informs you how you massacre one's feelings by not doing precisely what they ask. And thus this is what you actually say. I usually hate these types of posts, because they tend to exaggerate  the situation.

Therefore as a gag I made my own list to give a little look at the other side of the coin. By no means should you see this as accusatory. This is how the non-trans maybe feel like when you, a trans person, demand for your pronouns.

1. My only concern is my personal well-being

By this I mean, you make people feel as though they do not matter. You ask that your pronouns are used without questioning if the other person feels comfortable using them. Neither do you even consider if it is easy to use them. With the example being the pronoun “po”: 

“Hi! My name is Ashley and my preferred pronouns are po/pon/ponself. I like drawing” 

“Ashley is a highschool student. Po likes drawing”. 

Do you understand how awful that sounds? I used an extreme example, but even if the pronoun was “they” - I know that even that is confusing to use, because no one is really used to using singular they when referring to a specific person. However, it is easy to use when there is no knowledge of a person's sex, especially with unisex personal names, such as Ashley, Jamie, Taylor, Sidney and so on. So please, be a little more mindful of those you subject to your pronoun dictatorship.

2. I need your constant validation of my own identity!

Very often transgenders will claim that pronouns are part of their own identity and incorrect pronoun use invalidates them. You know what this says about the trans people? That they expect others to validate their existence. Why I have to validate you? Why can't you validate yourself and not give a fuck when random assholes don't care about your pronouns? What I've noticed from many people that are not trans per se is that they DO in fact try to use the preferred pronouns because it's a nice thing to do. So get that stupid idea out of your head that the cis are out to get you, because there is this one thing that you forget - people in general do not question your validity. They question your sanity, especially if you throw a tantrum about your pronouns.

3. Your opinion does not align with mine and therefore your're transphobic!

Whenever people disagree with you, you resort to insults. You never try to explain the non-emotional side of your gender identity. You never rationalize why you feel that way. You always rely on vague information or snark orders that you tell people who just don't understand.

What you don't understand is that people do not have to agree with you, nor do they have to try and that does not mean they are transphobic. People do not have to take your word at face value and trust you just because you experience it. I have yet to personally find a definition of what non-binary is, or how one can “experience gender”. If I disagree or feel as though you might be overreacting about something does not make me transphobic. I means I disagree with you.

4. My feelings should matter to you more than your own!

Just like you do not care about the physical well-being of non-trans people, you seem to now care about their emotional well-being too. It's always about your needs and never coming to a compromise. Whoever comes into contact with you HAS to use your pronouns otherwise, as Riley wants to imply, they are psychologically harming you. But have you bothered to think how your demands affect others? Let me guess, you haven't.

Because at the end of the day you are the victim and always have been. People defy your pronouns thus invalidating you and you yourself cannot do anything about it, because your self worth does not stem from your own perception of yourself...I hope I made sense. What I means is, you're responsible for validating yourself and no one else. They may try to dismiss your existence, but everyone experiences that.

5. I will always assume that you have it much better than I do!

This happens all the time. Cis gender privilege. The assumption that cis people do not have to worry about passing, using restrooms, getting jobs, ridicule and so on...except that well, since you're not cis, you would not know that such privileges are almost non-existence and just because one is cis does not mean they will walk this world care-free. It's because of these assumptions, which you never bother to actually check, you end up being disliked and hated. And do not even think for a second that you as a trans person do not have privileges. Because privilege itself is relative to circumstances and everyone is privileged in one way or another.

You somehow forget that we are people too, we get hurt, mistreated and abused. Just. Like. You.

6. If I'm a non-binary female, my duty is to use the male rest rooms because that is what is gender neutral!

I know this one is specific, but for whatever reason, gender neutral is assumed to be...well...pretty masculine. Non-binary or gender neutral females will probably look like guys. And I've seen a bunch of them and asked myself “what is it?”. Remember that news report about the chick who was non-binary and used the boys bathroom and then bitched that she was denied? How many more people like her do that on a daily basis? Also, remember point number 4? It's this sort of things I am talking about - there is no concern for others well-being and comfort because your trans status is more important to you. Because male bathroom is the pinnacle of gender neutrality.

7. I am forcing you to alter your language even though I'm a stranger to you!

Bill C-16 in Canada will enforce people to comply with whatever gender identity and pronouns a trans-person will come up with. Similar things already are happening in various cities around the USA. People are forced to do something they do not want to or feel comfortable doing because some trans-people base their identity on pronouns.

Majority has to accommodate a very small minority, please explain, how does this make sense? Why does the  trans community think that their rights are not met? The fact that you can be trans openly and not get stabbed should be seen as a good thing. The fact that you can speak out about supposed oppression and not get executed or put in a mental institutions or prison means that the society you live in is tolerant towards the likes you. Yet somehow that is not good enough for you. For some reason, everyone has to bend over backwards for you. Because you matter, because you are valid. This is what taking things for granted looks like.

8. My mental stability is your responsibility!

This point sort of ties in with the second point. Except that everyone who is not trans for some reason is responsible for your emotional and psychological pain. You tend to wear your disabilities as a crown, assuming it will empower you in some way. It just makes you look weird. The fact that people need to meet your needs, but you do not try to meet theirs is pretty selfish. Why should anyone let you leech off of them? You fail to understand that each person is on their own for better or worse. You create your own inner world and you're responsible for how you feel (not talking about depression).

The society isn't guilty for not liking you if you struggle to like yourself. Nor is it a babysitter for th  ose who struggle to take care of themselves, but for the most part people in need get help. So stop demonizing everyone around you who does not fit your personal standards or is not progressive enough. Almost every other person would help you if you needed it. Think about that.

9. You can't assume my gender, but I can assume yours!

What I've noticed ever so often is that when a trans person is misgendered, they might throw a fit. When trans people do not like when someone disagrees with them, they will automatically assume that you are cis. Great example is Blaire White. She is trans, but speaks against plenty of SJW and trans BS. Ever so often someone will call her cis...I guess because only cis people have the passing privilege.

This example is one of many. But do not assume that every trans person has to have one unifying opinion that coincides with yours. You ironically forget that people including trans are different and just like no one should prematurely assume something about you, you shouldn't do the same to them. Having a special gender doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole.

10. I need to feel special at all times.

Whether this is intentional or not, many will perceive your special pronouns as you wanting special treatment. The more exotic or foreign they will sound, the higher special snowflake level you'll get. But the problem with this is not the need to feel special because people want to feel special too. You rely on others and almost everyone to fill a gaping hole that you yourself neglect.

As I mentioned in point 8, if you do not like yourself, don't expect others to like you. Your pronouns are not the problem. It's your attitude and militant demands towards strangers.