#i used to just watch “ant and dec bgt/snt bits”

[xxxantanddeccerxxx]

i love love love LOVE these lives. i hope they do them for every im a celeb from now on

[anne-aad]

[007] What if...?

P.o.V. Ant

I'm sitting on the sofa staring at one point. I haven't moved for around an hour. I didn't even notice Dec entering the room. I jerk as he puts a hand on my shoulder and strokes my back.

"Are you okay, Anth?" He seems worried. I nod slowly: "Yeah, I'm alright." Dec softly kisses my cheek. "You were lost in your thoughts for quite a long time... Are you sure everything is fine?" He hesitates a bit. "You know you can talk to me...?" "Yes I know that." I slightly smile at him. "I was just thinking..." I stay quiet and look at the wooden floor of our living room. Dec wraps his arms around my body and pulls me close to him. I let my head fall onto his chest. Without saying anything he gently strokes my hair and plays with it. From Time to time he presses loving kisses to my forehead.

"What if... all these things that we went through... the good and the bad... never happened?" I look up to him. He raises his left eyebrow and frowns at me. "Was that what you were thinking about?" I shyly nod.

"What if... We lost the people's trust after the phone in scandal? Where would we be now? We couldn't get a job like this one again. No one would want to see us. We would have nothing... We would maybe be jobless... What would we do now? I don't want to imagine what would have happened after it. Or...

What if we've never got that chance to present BGT, SNT and IAC? We wouldn't have experienced what we experienced. Of course, there were some events that shouldn't have happened, like you accident on SNT or the one I mentioned before... but there were so many good things. Every journey to Australia is a pleasure. I even enjoy the long flights because I know we'll have a lot of fun there and I'm with you. Sure, it's hard to stand up early in the morning in those weeks but every day is a good day. I even don't mind the complaining early in the morning because I know we have fun. Or BGT... It's nothing but fun. It doesn't seem as work for me. Yes, it is our job but it's also vocation for me. We see every act. We see so many interesting people. It's fun to just talk to them and to see them presenting a talent. I enjoy every second! I could not imagine not to present it anymore after all these years. And SNT... our own show. It's nothing but fun. I love everything about it. The challenged, the undercovers, the Ant vs. Decs, the End of the Show-shows... There is nothing I don't love about the show. And doing it with you makes it even better. I remember all those challenges we didn't see each other for a long time. It was always weird not having you around at work. Besides that I always have fun. My life would be much less fun if we didn't do the show...

What if we had chosen a different path and didn't move to ITV? We wouldn't even have gotten the chance to present our show. Maybe we would have had a show but I cannot imagine it to be better than all the shows we are doing now. It would probably be the best show for us because we didn't know better but I don't think it would be as good as Takeaway.

What if we didn't cancel our music career and went to SM:TV and CD:UK? Maybe we wouldn't have gotten the chance to change to ITV and present that many shows. We wouldn't have presented these shows. The Ant-and-Dec-Show would have never existed. We wouldn't have made so many children happy...

What if we didn't have the music career? Many people began to watch our shows because they knew PJ and Duncan. We made so many people happy with our music. Although I don't know why anyone listened to the songs... They were really bad but they really helped on our way...

What if PJ and Duncan never got the storyline with the band? We wouldn't have started this music career. Probably we wouldn't even have thought about it. Our career could have been over after Byker... The storyline could have been completely different. PJ and Duncan could have possibly never become best friends. They could have had completely different storylines. It could have been that they never really talked to each other because they were that different. Not only PJ and Duncan possibly wouldn't have become friends... we possibly wouldn't have become best friends. Maybe we'd have seen each other on set and talked a bit... but we wouldn't be that close as we are now. Maybe we'd have been friends till we're written out of Byker Grove but lost each other out of sight. If we even did it till we were written out.

What if I hadn't gone to the audition for PJ's role... We couldn't even have had the chance to meet although we lived in the same city. I wouldn't have had the luck to meet you.

If I could go back in time to change something... I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to miss any of those moments we experienced together. Only one single change could have made our whole life different. I wouldn't want that.

For me, everything is perfect. Our life how it is now is perfect. I've got a perfect family life. A perfect job. A perfect circle of friends. And of course, a perfect best friend. I couldn't wish for a better life."

I take a deep breath and look at Dec. He hasn't said anything during my monologue. He just stayed quiet and listened. His hand softly grabs mine and he looks deep in my eyes. Carefully he leans forward and kisses me on my cheek. I smile and let my hand slightly roam through his hair while I pull him in an embrace. "But all of these things didn't happen." His hand lovingly massages my shoulder."Everything went as it went. And it is perfect how it is at the moment. I enjoyed every moment of my life, even the bad because you were always by my side."

I press his head on my shoulder and kiss his temple.

"I'm so happy I could experience all of this with you. Love you, Dec..."