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gwently · 2 years ago

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2023 part 2?

So fountain pens. While I really got into them in 2022, it was not my first foray into them. My first pen was a gift from an online friend way back in...2017? For my birthday. It was a Pilot Metropolitan and I immediately fucked it up, spilled ink everywhere. I was too dumb to look up how to properly fill it, though i am sure I messed up the nib as well. Since it was a gift it stayed in my room for several years until I threw it out one day, for a reason that cannot be remembered. We laughed at my incompetence and she wasn't angry, so that birthday managed to be memorable.

I don't even know what sparked my current interest in fountain pens. Think I was looking at ink drawings? and remembered these things existed and well I am firmly down the hole. I brought a lot of pens last year, trying out different filling methods or nib sizes, going for cool colours, you name it. Having disposable income for the first time and not knowing what to do with it may be a factor. Sure, I definitely do not need that many pens, but don't judge me. I sure as hell don't judge that one person who tosses in random kanji in their name or bio that is probably google translated, because to them Japanese is a fun aesthetic, not a language used and enjoyed by real people.

I mostly got the reckless spending out of my system, while there are many different inks and pens I still want to try out there's only so many I can use short term, so now the focus is on getting use of what I have and maybe selling/giving away a few. Improving my handwriting and learning cursive properly are also goals of mine, as it is very awkward trying to write a signature and only being able to make the l and t in my last name look pretty, a thing I only know from diving into the bottom of my memory containing a mental image of my mother's handwriting that can no longer be replicated.

Journaling! Right that's the main reason why I use my pens now. I've always written things down on random scrap sheets of paper as little reminders or to do lists — a habit that happens more often due to my grandmother's influence in recent years — so getting a proper journal only made sense. With fountain pens certain inks or nibs respond better on good paper, so that means I also invested in some notebooks. You can quickly see how this hobby can become a money sink if you really wanted to. Thankfully after trying out Rhodia and feeling dissatisfied, Maruman (a japanese brand) stopped my search for paper that suited what I like. I prefer spiral/ring notebooks the most so it was a double win, similar to [insert fighting game reference 0 people reading this would understand]

I lost my train of thought but it's okay, no one will read this. Here's a pen I brought in...(checks amazon purchases) October.

(yes that is my hand, those aren't scratches it's lint)

The very famous and popular Pilot Custom 823, with a broad nib. It is a vacuum filler — one of my fav methods of filling — and managed to grab it while yen was very, very low so it was around $192 with tax, when normally it would cost me around $220-280. My most expensive pen and probably will be for a very long time. It's funny cause when I first brought it I was like damn. This is kinda mid. Like when you watch that super popular anime that's airing, only to be bewildered at what all the hype is about. Now it's one of my favourite writers, the gold nib has a softness that is fairly unique, making writing with it a breeze as it floats over paper. Sometimes you just need to sleep on things. If it wasn't for the cost I would consider getting a second one, the amber colourway in particular is gorgeous.

Right now though I am interested in vintage pens, there is definitely something nice about holding something older than my grandparents and looking up it's history, and the time period around it.

(Not my image, credit goes to redeempens/will vintage on reddit) Today I got myself a WASP Clipper in this marvelous brown/gold pattern that is commonly called "circuit board" by collectors. It's a "lever filler", a filling method mostly absent from modern pens.

WASP is a sub-brand by famous pen manufacturer Sheaffer. WASP stands for "W.A. Sheaffer Pen", because why bother with subtlety. This pen was made sometime during the 1930s, cool stuff. Usually pens this old have the risk of having it's ink sac disintegrated, so you would have to repair it yourself or get someone to do it for you. Thankfully the pen I grabbed was already restored, so now I'm waiting on my package of ink to come in the mail to test this bad boy out.

Uhh okay this post was long so bye! This is barely 2023 related but that's what happens when you don't plan things out in advance. Here's a song from an album I've been listening to lately, Spirit World Field Guide by Aesop Rock

youtube

#2023

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darthlorddiamond · 4 years ago

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Part of

This is the epilogue of the Black Diamond story, if you want to read the previous episode you can check my Masterlist.

Summary: Be a part of the First Order was certainly not what Black Diamond thought it would be and, after a time of isolation at Starkiller Base, she decided that it was time to take things in charge.

Words: 3,735

Reading Time: 15 min

Category: Bio

Warnings: None

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Part of

The reception I had upon arrival at Starkiller Base was the opposite of warm. Not that I was expecting fanfare upon entry, much less a presentation parade, but after all the trouble Hux and Phasma went through to find me, at least I thought I would be presented to the other generals and high ranks of the Order. I traveled light, my luggage consisted of my collection of sabers, the hurdy-gurdy and a suitcase with my best suits, I assumed that being at my destination I would be provided with the other items for my basic needs, I shouldn´t have made such an assumption.

Immediately, upon my arrival, I was directed to my quarters, which were much more modest to the luxury I was already accustomed to having; It was a medium-sized room, with a small living-dining room, a rather small kitchen, a single bed in the back and an extremely small bathroom, with no windows. I didn´t miss the opportunity to demonstrate my discontent to Hux, letting him know that if, he was going to have me on that cold planet, which already seemed extremely annoying to me because of its resemblance to Hoth, the least he could do its make me feel at home.

My comment caused him to thunder his mouth and mutter under his breath, however, my posture was stronger, for no reason was I going to live in that place, fact that I showed him crossing my arms without putting a foot inside. After a few minutes of constant complaints from him, he had no choice but to agree to my whims, requesting a new location for my quarters, close to his, and a list of all the items I wanted, it was indisputable that, although the idea of giving me special treatment was not much to his liking, but he knew perfectly well that I wasn´t going to access to his types of treatments, since at any moment I could grab a ship and leave them behind because they had no power over me.

My first week I spent it walking around the entire base, locating where the areas of my interest were, likewise, I took the opportunity to explore the outside of it, once again entering the forest and the snow. It had been a long time since I had had such direct contact with the cold in that way, and, what in my youth I found extremely aberrant by the memory of betrayal, now I found it extremely pleasant. I restarted my meditations inside the forest, trying to reconnect with those things that I tried to avoid and forget in my youth; By this point I had already understood that, if this was the path I was going to take, I would gain nothing by blocking and ignoring all the pain I felt in Hoth, on the contrary, I had to find a way to elevate it and integrate it in to myself as a functional part of the person I was now.

During my tours I managed to perfectly locate where the Command Bridge, the Hux office, the training room, the dining room, and the Med Bay were; outside these places, the other spaces weren´t of my interest. Until then, almost all my communication was with Hux, who wasn´t in the least pleased to have to be my liaison with his superiors, and to be honest, I quite enjoyed complicating things, forcing him to look for me all over the place.

Our communication was quite unstable, depending on the mood in which we woke up was the type of words we vocalized, I wasn´t going to deny that, just by sharing the same workspace, I liked the man, on the contrary, I never lost an opportunity to point out that his presence seemed unpleasant to me, a fact that he returned, making an endless circle by trying to demonstrate who of the two imposed greater authority. Until that moment I didn´t know who the Supreme Leader was, nor had I been introduced to the other members of the Command Bridge and not to mention the precious son of Leia, in that place, at that time, we were simply Hux and I, ironic.

Within a month of arriving, I made the training room my second home; I spent most of the day there, which Hux liked quite a lot since it was much easier for him to find me. I soon learned that this space had very defined schedules. In the early hours of the morning, the largest and most common room was used by the troops, while the private rooms were reserved by someone whom I didn´t know; In the middle of the morning, lieutenants and captains came, from mid-day until afternoon, occasionally Phasma come with a group of soldiers to train them in combat, and at night, eventually, the high command made use of the facilities. For me, the training room was a very curious parade of people, whom I could observe all day to get to know more of them without the need to speak a single word to them.

I must admit that, at first, I was spending my time within the hours that I knew Phasma would be present, just to make her uncomfortable with my presence; During these hours I took the opportunity to do a few exercises while observing how she did her work, and I must admit that I was quite surprised at what I saw, without a doubt her combat style had improved a lot and all her troops showed her impressive respect; I may have been a little jealous at first to see her that way, but leaving my pride aside, I was quite amusing, to put it in some way, to see the person she had become, yet that I didn´t leave aside the resentment that I still felt towards her person and that, I was very sure, would never leave.

One afternoon, I was in the training room doing a few exercises with one of my sabers, the room was empty, it was one of those few occasions when everyone was doing some other important activity, of which I was unaware and they didn´t take up their time to train.

Finishing my routine, I walked to a bench where I sat down to rest for a moment, took a drink from my water bottle and grabbed one of the towels I was carrying to wipe the sweat off my forehead when someone approached me "I've been thinking for days on you…” I looked up to find Phasma standing in front of me, I didn´t quite understand what she wanted or how she dared to approach me, so I decided to ignore her and I continued to wipe my face "I understand perfectly that you aren´t in the least interested in what I have to say..." in fact, I didn´t care about what she had to say and I was beginning to irritate by her mere presence "What do you want? Stop wasting my time and speak clearly" was the only thing I said to her as I took my bottle again to take another sip, I could see how she hesitated to continue speaking, her whole body showed hesitant signs "I´m not coming to apologize for anything, as you said I did what I had to do to get to where I´m now..." I rested my elbows on my knees while my gaze remained fixed on her, who wore her chrome armor and held her helmet under one of her arms "You still don't like me at all and I still don't understand how you got to where you´re..." I gave a small mocking laugh that made her purse her mouth a little "I been watching your way of training while we were here..." I began to thunder the bones of my hands and her eyes strayed to observe it, adopting a defensive posture, I suppose she thought that at any moment I would come on top of her, however, seeing that I remained in my place, she continued with his speech "I must admit, it's pretty impressive...".

She swallowed so deeply that a hollow sound came from her throat, she must have had a hard time admitting something like that, she certainly had to put her pride aside enough to introduce herself to me and speak me like that, a fact that I was enjoying too much and, although I too saw in her a breakthrough, I would never tell her "Do you think that with your non-apology and your flattery you´ll ingratiate yourself with me?" Phasma fixed her eyes on mine again with notorious annoyance "Not at all, I still feel a deep disgust and hate to your person" another small laugh and a smile were painted on my lips "The feeling is mutual" she just remained standing quietly for a few more seconds, maybe her pride was coming back and it would no longer allow her to finish speaking, so I decided to dig a little more into that temporary sore to see if I could discover something else “I don't understand the purpose of coming here to tell me this, what are you waiting for?” she shook her head a little and ran one of her hands to wipe off some of the sweat that was forming on her forehead "Maybe I didn't think very well about going here..." I raised one of my eyebrows, she, unsure of something that she was doing? "What do you want Phasma?" I put the most serious and annoyed expression I could "I thought, maybe, I could find another ally in you, apart from Hux..." now it was not a small laugh, it was a huge laugh that I let out while my back was completely arched, throwing my body back for an instant before returning to a straight posture and fixing my eyes on hers again with a highly inquisitive look "Ally me, with you? With the person who murdered the man, I was going to marry? You didn´t think about it well…” that must have been the drop that spilled her glass, because she held her helmet tightly, turned around and started walking towards the exit with a firm step, but before she reached the door I interrupted her way "But yes, I would like someone who knows how this place works, and who can articulate more than three words, unlike Hux".

Immediately she turned to see me while a mischievous smile was painted on my lips "Just to clarify, we still hate each other, correct?" she pointed at me with one of her fingers “Of course Captain” it was the first time since all this began, that I had seen her smile, I couldn't let her go out with that petulant victory spirit, so I stopped and started walking to her while she put on her helmet, preparing to leave "Captain, one more thing..." I began to rub her armor with one of my hands, while looking at my reflection in it "If I discover that all this little game of the ally has another background, well…” I fixed my eyes on the visor of her helmet and gave her the best of my smiles “I hope you likes music” and taking a few steps back, without turning her back on me, she resumed her way and left the room.

After my little reunion with Phasma, I received a datapad in my room, which helped me a lot to liven up my days, and to inquire information about the Order, it was evident that she had been in charge of sending me this present. Also, I intensify my little walks around the base, taking advantage of the new information I had, covering new areas that I didn´t know. In this new scoutings, I began to encounter a group of men who had some relationship with the Force. Most of our encounters were light glances in the hallways, nothing ever went beyond that. Since, at that time, I was still blocking part of my abilities, they never paid me too much attention, surely for them I was only an officer or something similar, although I could see that sometimes I caused them discomfort or curiosity, because my clothing was radically opposed to dress code of the other members or soldiers. It seemed quite striking to me that this whole group always dressed in black with helmets covering their identity and none of them emitted any word, without a doubt they were some kind of elite group, which reminded me of my men in Harloff Minor.

Laughingly, sometimes, in my head I found the presence of that gang comical and, in my mind, I formed the idea that the Supreme Leader perhaps liked to collect Force users, as a kind of bizarre and personal zoo, about which he could exert absolute strength and power to demonstrate his superiority, surely trying to hide some kind of complex, but although that thought entertained me a lot, I knew that, within that group of men, there was surely Ben, so I began to track them down at the distance to make our meetings, I don't know, part of this futile effort was due to my immense boredom and another part was due to the need to locate him, to know who he was, to be able to approach him, which, at that time, turned out to be completely useless.

I chose to stop wasting my energy trying to find someone I didn't even know who he was, I supposed, he would eventually introduce himself to me, so I went back to my meditations, which were deepening, it was evident that being surrounded by others Force-users had awakened in me some kind of connection or bond that potentiated all my actions. In the beginning, I didn´t know very well how it was happening or the consequences that this could bring, so I decided to handle this situation as cautiously as possible. Little by little, I was able to identify that the source that intertwined with me at night, during my meditations, came from a single person and not from a group as I originally thought, however, I didn´t know very well who it could be, and although this made me feel somewhat frustrated, at the same time I could feel relief: if I didn´t know whose energy was brushing against mine, it was very likely that the other person couldn´t identify my presence, so at that moment I felt comfortable and safe using this bond as a potentiator of my energy, curious to see where this type of exercise could take me.

After a month more without activity or contact with other people, I got tired of waiting that someone introduce me properly, I had reached the limit of my patience and my discomfort was starting to grow every day, I needed to start doing something more than fooling around in the training room or hanging around the halls, so I decided to break into the Command Bridge to introduce myself. I dressed in one of my best suits, leather pants with a long raincoat open to my hip and with a small corset at my waist, a belt where I attached one of my sabers and long knee boots with silver details, I refined my makeup, something simple, red lips and a black outline; once ready, I left my room and walked to my destination.

Everyone was busy in their work, there was enough activity on the Command Bridge, I took a quick look around me to see who was there, I was extremely excited, without a doubt my actions were going to cause a scandal among all those present and there would be no way for them to continue to ignore me after this, so I positioned myself in the center of the room and cleared my throat, causing a few people to turn to see me "Good afternoon gentlemen..." this was going to be so much fun "My name is Black Diamond and I´m...", suddenly a hand grabbed my arm tightly and I turned to see who was.

By the gods! Hux's face was priceless! He was completely red and I could see how some veins were formed in his hundreds “What are you thinking about? Are you crazy?” he pressed his face to mine to such a degree that I could feel the heat that his words emanated through his mouth "No, I'm just bored" I rolled my eyes, the pressure his hand exerted on my arm was getting stronger, he was extremely angry and quickly started pulling me across the Command Bridge, at no time did he stop holding my arm "Hux!" I raised my voice as I tried to wriggle out of his hold, which lasted until we reached his office. The door opened and he pushed me inside.

How did he dare to treat me like that? I was beginning to get quite annoyed by the way he was behaving, once both inside and with the door closed, he approached me, his body was only inches from mine, he radiated fury, he was uncontrolled, undoubtedly my actions were going to bring him consequences and momentarily my anger low to give way to a pleasant feeling of success. Maybe things didn't go as I thought, but seeing him that way, on the verge of losing his temper, made me quite happy. “Bored? Don't you know what you just did?" here comes one of his litanies about order and discipline "Honestly, I don't care" I replied as I crossed my arms and took a breath, demonstrating the nuisance he caused by his supposed punishment.

Hux separated from me and walked to his desk, where he took a seat. A few minutes of silence passed, so I take the time to snoop around his office, everything was impeccable and extremely ordered, I stopped at one of his bookshelves to see what he had, I was quite surprised to see that the General was also a lover of literature.

As I took out some books to see their titles, I could feel his gaze staring at me again, apparently he was curious about the way his shelves captured my attention. “What do you want? Is it not more than enough that I already fulfilled all your whims?” still holding one of the books I took, I went to one of the seats that were in front his desk and without taking my attention from its pages, I replied "No, as I already told you, I´m bored" Hux brought one of his hands to his face, where he rubbed the bridge of his nose "And what am I supposed to do?" I looked at him askance, still with the book in my hands "Starting, I would like to meet the rest of the High Command..." his eyes widened "And after that, I would love to have something to do... Hmm... What's its call? Oh yeah! A job" I closed the book in unison with his scream "No!" I stood up from my place and walked to his desk where I left the book "Then I don't know what I'm doing here..." I leaned over his desk so that our noses were inches away, staring into his eyes, causing him discomfort, I could see how a few drops of sweat ran down his forehead "Obviously I don't have any kind of role here..." I brought one of my hands to his chin and ran one of my fingers over the line of his jaw as he swallowed and started to blush "Then, you don't need my presence..." I separated from him to sit on his desk.

I could see how his eyes again traveled the curves of my body, I smiled slightly, I had his full attention so I followed the game a little more, with one of my hands I stroked gently, smoothing, the surface of his desk with my fingers, Hux only brought one of his hands to the knot in his tie "I think I'll go back to Harloff Minor" I whispered as I turned to playfully look at him "No!" all the color disappeared from his face in an instant and he started to babble.

I took advantage of the fact that he was debating between maintaining a serious posture while his eyes were still fixed on my body, so I slowly unbuttoned a few buttons on the top of my blouse, pretending that I had some heat "Alright..." he threw his whole body on the back of his chair while closing his eyes and holding his nose again "But you will work under my charge. I will give you a team to train, just like your men" I got up from the desk in an I jump from to see him head-on “Perfect! You see? It wasn't that difficult. When do we start, boss?” I giggled along with my last word "Tomorrow. I´ll reserve one of the training rooms..." he kept trying to regain his composure while I adjusted my raincoat "It will be not necessary, we will train in the forest..." he turned to look at me in confusion "Tomorrow, 0600 hrs in the meadow at the north exit, make sure them be punctual, I don't like to waste my time” I had achieved what I wanted so I didn't have anything else to do in his office, so I turned around and went to the door “One more thing…” he got up from his place and surrounded his desk, where he supported his hip in the same place where I had sat, I looked at him raising one of my eyebrows, I was waiting to know his conditions "You´ll report all your activities and results exclusively to me, is this it clear?” I nodded and left his office with a feeling of victory and excitement, I had accomplished my mission and incidentally had made the General quite uncomfortable.

It may not be the best of jobs or the best of assignments, but at last, I had something to do: a whole troop under my charge and it was the perfect opportunity to demonstrate all of them my skills.

Finally, after 2 months of arriving at this place, it could be said that I was part of the First Order.

Note: I would like to especially thank @kyloren-theprince, @thetorturerwrites & @kylorengarbagedump who took time to read this first part of my saga and sent me observations with all the patience in the world.

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