#i thought it was a weirdo spn plot point.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Thoughts on Supernatural, Season 11

This post was inspired by a post I saw from @seasononesam , found here

I actually consider this season to be one of my favorites of the late seasons but, like so often happens with this weirdo show, it’s not because of the season plot. Rather, I love how hard this season goes on the Sam and Dean of it all, especially after the last 2-3 years of angst. And I like a lot of the MOTW episodes.

Please feel free to comment reblog with your takes on these episodes (if you actually see this post somehow), or on other ones you like or dislike.

Please find my episode breakdown under the cut (I don’t want to clutter up anyone’s timeline with a long post).

Episodes I Pretty Much Love:

Baby

- Give me all the brother talks, "Night Moves", and quiet bonding

- Sam re-loses his virginity, and Dean is weirdly proud of his brother for hooking up. As usual.

- The Sam and Not-John vision is interesting and surprised me.

- I’ve heard the story way too many times, but Dean doing the reverse 180 is pretty hot.

- Interesting concept

Just my imagination

- At first I didn’t like this one because it felt too "kiddy."

- I love Sully, I love Sully and Sam, and I love Jared's acting in his talk with Sully near the end, and I didn’t expect it in this silly episode.

- The silliness has grown on me, and Dean's reactions to the Zana (don’t know how to spell it and don’t want to look it up) is pretty amusing.

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

- I love all the Sam stuff

- Crowley and Rowena and their dysfunction is mostly amusing in this one.

- Sam's devastation when he finds out it wasn’t God who was speaking to him is heartbreaking.

- But, shut up Amara and Angels!

The Devil in the Details

- Sam and Lucifer walking down Sam's memory lane is interesting. Colin Ford!

- Jared's portrayal of a terrified but brave Sam is *chef's kiss*

- Dean's indignant "Have you met me?" is very on point and makes me smile every time.

- Sam trusting in Dean to save him is very little brother energy, and protective Dean is always good.

- But, Cass, you’re an idiot, and you crapped on Sam's willingness to die rather than let the devil out of the cage

Safe House

- Bobby and Rufus in the past cut together with Sam and Dean now is really enjoyable for me. I like the transitions.

- Dean and Bobby seeing each other in the nest is cool and sad since Bobby is long dead in the current timeline.

- Bobby seeing Sam and Dean in the nest (parts of your soul or people you love) since he sees them as his boys is nice.

- Dean seeing only Sam in the nest is so accurate for him. We know Sam is a piece of his soul, but this could also be seen as seeing his son (like Bobby), or like seeing his partner (like the woman who saw her husband). It’s a rich tapestry :)

- Sorry but I have to … who did he not see …? For the hellers in the back …

Red Meat

- Everything!

- Hurt Sam. BAMF Sam. Protective Dean. Romeo Dean.

- Sam is the man (or person) Dean loves. This episode could be in Season 2, and I mean that in a good way. Though I have to admit the werewolf guy is a bit over the top at the for for me.

Don’t Call Me Shurley

- While I don’t love what happens with Chuck down the road, I did find this episode moving. Chuck at the end healing and helping people actually choked me up on the first watch.

- This is the only time Metatron doesn’t completely suck, so far

- Sam and Dean in the fog always gets me, especially how Dean has not learned his lesson of letting Sam go, and tries to breath in the fog to join him in getting infected.

- The Samulet - it being in Sam's pocket tells me that Sam has carried it with him since "Dark Side of the Moon" - fight me!

Honorable Mentions:

Form and Void

- Pro: BAMF and Smart Sam, again

- Con: shut up Baby Amara!

Thin Lizzie

- Pro: gives me slightly older-school SPN vibes; just working a case

- Cons: shut up Tween Amara with your weird crush on Dean!

Into the Mystic

- Pros: The talk between the brothers near the end of the episode is nice, where Sam apologizes for not continuing to look for him, and Dean is gracious about it. I also like how the episode is bookended with Sam not able to sleep at the beginning and Dean not able to sleep at the end. Also, I kinda like the old lady, I generally like Eileen (just not in a ship with Sam), and this is one of the few times I don’t mind Misha as Cassifer

- Cons: the banshee looks weird, and does a little too anticlimactically for me (though I gues that kinda the point).

Don’t You Forget About Me

- Pro: I generally like Alex, and I don’t mind Claire in this one, and I’m actually interested in the Jody and co. dynamics which isn’t always the case. The sex talk at the table is funny.

- Con: Nothing really stand out as a con in this one for me, other than I never exactly need a Claire episode.

Beyond the Mat

- Pro: Sam and Dean having fun together and watching the wrestling, and Dean making an ass of himself getting into the ring are fun.

- Cons: I don’t really like the actual case and find it a tad boring.

Alpha and Omega

- Pro: Sam and Dean hug with "no chick flick" callback, and Dean saves the day because of how much he and Sam love each other. It saves the world this time.

- Cons: BMOL plot crap watering down the episode, Chuck and Amara is kind of a weak ending since the drama is boiled down to a silly sibling issue and could have been avoided easily.

The rest of the episodes, unless I’m forgetting one, are either just "meh" to me, or I actively dislike them. Especially any other episodes with a big Amara focus generally are not for me.

The Bad Seed

- Shut. Up. Little Amara! I find her deeply irritating.

Plush

- pretty much only thing I find amusing and not bad-weird in this episode is Sam and Dean joking about the jail bunny, but refusing to laugh at each other’s jokes.

Love Hurts

- in past episodes I feel like this would have been done better. It feels like a lake echo of episodes we’ve had before, and I just don’t enjoy it.

- Small pro: Dean finally tells Sam the truth about his weird Amara connection, and Sam is super chill about it even though he’s worried. Honesty, friends.

Hell's Angel

- Shut up Cassifer!

Alpha and Omega

- yeah I mentioned this before, but I need to double down on the BMOL eating up screen time and the easy Chuck and Amara solution.

[awed-frog]

Hi, I hope this is ok to ask. I've seen some of your posts on Destiel and wondered when you left the fandom and why? It sounds like it was a long time ago? I ask because I saw so many people so certain about the outcome and then freak out when it ended badly, as it probably always would have. It just made me wonder what the red flags were for you. I saw them myself mainly from the reactions of fellow shippers attacking even those who agreed w/them, but that was very recent. What was it for you?

I don’t know exactly. 

I think I got fed up when the show started to get worse and worse, with tons of weird stuff, bad writing and plot holes and Dean and Cas being virtually strangers, at which point the atmosphere around Destiel-positive meta writers turned sort of messianic. Some people were acting like they *knew*, and they never apologized for getting stuff wrong. Instead, it was either ‘Wait until next week, this is a slow-burn’ or ‘I was actually right, it’s there in the magnificent subtextual clues you are too stupid to see’. There was always only one explanation, one *truth* only that specific person and their friends could uncover, and everyone who disagreed was yelled out of the circle. There was a gradual cleaning out of the tags until all ‘negativity’ (ie, all forms of criticism) were filtered out, and endless circle-jerky activities to reinforce the ‘right’ opinions. One good example of this is how surveys suddenly multiplied and how they all got the same kind of results - either because only some fans (the ‘right’ kind) cared enough to take part or because of actual manipulation (I once saw someone reblogging their survey like ‘Signal boost! This has too many [wrong] answers! We need more people with [right] opinions!!’. 

At the same time, I started getting more and more messages from people who were disappointed with the show but were afraid to speak out, or felt stupid for not ‘seeing’ and ‘understanding’ where the story was (allegedly) going. Finally, it got to a point where a single bad episode, and the endless ‘No, but you see?? This actually supports [right] opinion!’ posts that came with it would ruin my mood for an entire week. At that point, thank God, a few people both on tumblr and IRL stepped in and were like ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’, so I did.

As for the dates, I joined tumblr around S10 and stopped watching during S13 (I think; I don’t even remember what S13 was about, so it’s hard to be sure).

I think the main reasons why I ignored those red flags for so long are:

The way social media are built, how you’re stuck inside your bubble, start getting addicted to the number of followers and likes and asks, feel *important* and *liked*, slowly learn to self-censor so you can fit in; and also the infinity scrolling, the activity log, the ‘Someone is wrong on the internet’ syndrome, hate mail and trolls and seeing friends and mutuals getting doxxed for wrongthink.

I was actively trying to drown. My life back then was a nightmare. Obsessing over a show was way better than being alone with my thoughts, and getting mad at some nobody on tumblr created the right amount of emotion to bury everything else. Looking back, it all seems idiotic. I knew it could happen, I’d read about it, I’d seen it happen IRL, and yet it still happened to me. It sounds stupid, but if you build yourself a cage to stay safe, you end up getting trapped.

I’m sure there are people who get to enjoy fandom in the right way - I even know some of them. They find friends, enjoy the content they see and create, can treat the whole thing as a harmless hobby. Personally, I find bubbles of any kind very bad for my life and my mental health, mostly because they’re inevitably dominated by those who spend a long time in there - generally extremists and weirdos. The option we now have to filter out opinions we don’t like - that’s how radicalizing works. It sounds overdramatic, but there’s a direct link between those fans who were so shocked by the SPN finale they’re now believing conspiracy theories and everyone else - the QAnon people, the anti-vaxxers, teenage gamers who’re sucked into the alt-right, unhappy Muslims recruited by ISIS - it’s always the same process. Talk often, talk loudly, talk with authority, cut people off other sources, make people feel special because they’re the only ones who understand and promise them the Good Thing is coming. Sometimes cult leaders know exactly what they’re doing; other times they’re just deluded, narcissistic, charismatic people with too much time on their hands who legit believe what they’re saying and don’t realize the damage they’re doing, but the playbook is exactly the same. When it comes to the SPN fandom, I heard many stories similar to mine, and I hope people who find themselves overgrieving after that awful finale will soon get their own ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’ moment and take that advice. There’s a whole world out there, and it’s not half bad.

[hannahindie]

Lie to Me

Characters: Dean x Reader Word Count: 1,267 Warnings: Alcohol use, vague mention of sexy times. 

A/N: Awhile back, I’d asked for prompt advice and got “Impala” from @adoptdontshoppets. It has taken me seventeen years to finish this, but here it is! I also cheated a little and used a word from my One Word Bingo, because I’m way past any kind of due dates ever, and I make the rules now. The word was glow. Nothing much to be warned about, aside from some insinuated adult situations and the word breast. If you aren’t over 18, maybe don’t read it. You can read like....3/4 it. Don’t read the last paragraph. 

Beta’d by @pinknerdpanda and @amanda-teaches because they are my favorite Amandas and I love them, they are the best. They’ve also been posting some pretty dang good stuff, so when you’re done reading this (if you make it past this stupid long intro), head on over to their blogs. You won’t be disappointed.

I’m going to tag my old tag list, but at this point, I feel like I should probably redo the whole thing. If I have tagged you and you want to stay, you don’t have to say anything. If I’ve tagged you and you’re like, “Why is this weirdo tagging me, I don’t want that crap” then politely let me know you’d no longer like tagged. If you aren’t tagged and would like to be, let me know. I’m going to attempt to write more, especially with this whole everyone is quarantined thing, so when I’m not cleaning, cross stitching, working, or playing FF14, perhaps I’ll be sharing some words with you. 

Neon lights drip down the black sides of the Impala, trapped in cold drops of rain as she rumbles to a stop. The door squeaks open and a pair of booted feet swing out, grinding the wet stones against each other as the boots’ owner stands up. 

There is a pause, brief, almost unnoticeable, before the person shuts the door and hurries into the bar. The lights are dim, dull behind a thin wall of cigarette smoke. It’s one of the last bars that allow smoking indoors, and the patrons are taking advantage of it with the rainy weather.  The way the colored lights above the tiny stage in the corner reflect off the swirling cloud reminds the man of how the traffic lights looked in the fog when he was a kid, laying in the backseat of the very car he arrived here in. 

His glance around the semi-crowded room doesn’t give him the answer he’s looking for, so he sits at the bar, orders a whiskey neat, and gently lays his phone on the scratched wood in front of him. He remembers another time he sat at this bar; but, if he’s honest, most of the bars he has spent his time in look remarkably like this one. He hears pool balls clack against each other, and he smiles to himself as he stands up and motions to the bartender for a beer. He grabs it, tosses some money down, then runs his fingers through his hair. If he’s going to sell it, he has to play the part. 

He saunters over, beer haphazardly dangling from the loose grip he has on the neck, and positions himself so that the guy he has his sights on notices him. The guy finishes the round he’s on, cockily grabs the money off the edge of the table, and waves it a couple times. So, the guy is an asshole. 

Perfect. 

The guy that lost practically throws the stick at him, sore loser, that one, and Dean fumbles the stick slightly before getting a grip on it, giving the winner a sloppy looking grin. He chalks the cue clumsily, nearly missing the tip before tossing the little blue square on the cue rack and nodding to the guy to break. He watches the balls as they spin across the green felt, the sound of them cracking against each other almost comforting, and begins plotting what his next move will be. Right before he sets up his shot, he feels a gentle pressure at his elbow. He looks back and sees the reason he had come to this bar in the first place. 

Y/N. 

She leans forward, and the feeling of her as she presses against his arm is a warmth he hasn’t felt in awhile. She whispers in his ear, a warning that he somehow missed, then steps back. He straightens up and looks at his opponent, then tosses the pool cue back onto the table. He hears the guy curse and without turning around, flips him off, Y/N on his other arm. He isn’t here to hustle, anyway. She leads him to a corner booth, dark except for the beer sign glowing above their heads, and they settle in.

He can’t help but stare at her; she’s gorgeous. She always has been, but the years have been kind, and though there’s still a bit of an edge to her, civilian life has softened it a bit. She talks low, her dimples popping whenever he gets her to laugh. It’s like no time has passed at all. A part of him wishes she had never left; she was good at it, maybe even as good as him. He can just barely see the scar that was the reason for her leaving the hunter life, the moment she realized it was either stay and die or leave and survive. He’d always thought she was braver than him, and the moment she left, he knew he was right. 

A warm touch brings him out of his thoughts and he looks up to see Y/N staring at him. He gives her a sad smile as he realizes what song is playing, and grabs her hand, nodding towards the small dance floor near the jukebox. She follows behind him, settling her head against his shoulder when he finally chooses a spot away from everyone else. The song is almost too fast to be a slow dance, but Dean manages it, gripping her waist tightly as he rests his chin on the top of her head. 

Lie to me And tell me everything is all right Lie to me And tell me that you’ll stay here tonight

He wants her to lie, to tell him she wants to stay with him, at least for tonight. He knows even if it does happen, it will be over in the morning. But feeling her against him like this, their bodies moving in sync as if they had never been apart, well...he’s fine with whatever he can get.

Tell me that you’ll never leave, And I’ll just try to make believe That everything you tell me is true

Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me Lie to me

She looks up at him, and he pulls back slightly. He thinks he could kiss her, knows that he could and get by with it, but is it a good idea? A part of him says no, but the bigger part says that he has nothing to lose. He moves back in, pulling her closer to him until their lips meet. He tells himself that if she doesn’t kiss back, he’s done. He’ll walk away, no harm done, and that will be that. She will head back to whatever guy she’s seeing this time, a safer option than he’ll ever be, and he will find another girl in another bar with low expectations. 

But, she does kiss back. She kisses back just as fervently as he kisses her, and he decides he doesn’t want to walk away. Ending be damned, he’s going to enjoy it while he can. He breaks away long enough to pull her through the crowd and out the door, barely making it to the Impala before their hands are on each other again. 

It doesn’t matter anymore It could never be the way it was before If I can’t hold on to you Leave me something I can hold onto For just a little while won’t you let me be Anyone can see That you love him more than me

This is not the first time this backseat has served a purpose other than strictly travel, and though it is not Dean’s first choice for her, it’s what they have. He knows he doesn’t have much time, so he savors how she looks in the neon lights, the raindrops rolling down the windows casting shadowy rivulets that roll down her smooth curves. 

His rough hands cup her breasts as she moves above him, and he tries to memorize every scar, every freckle, every detail he can. The rain pounding against the car muffles her cries as she falls apart around him, bringing him over the edge with her, and the moment is over. Her eyes close and she nestles into his side, a smile on her face. 

It’s just for tonight, he tells himself. Just for tonight.

But right now, baby, let me pretend That our love will never end Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me

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