#i thought huh summer is affecting me a lot. turns out nah it's not normal

[parakeetpark]

I'm in the process of actually getting some answers about my health stuff, and it's such a relief. I was surprised how quickly I got an appointment w the specialist

[kimryes]

yo @nilziio it is i, your far cry 5 birthday bash gifter!!! i wrote a grace/jess soulmate au for you (the standard “the first thing your soulmate says to you directly is tattooed somewhere on your body in their handwriting” variety bc i’m a slut for it). hope you like it, and @edensgay ur the loml thanks for setting this up!

Jess never talked much around Grace. Not that she said much in general, save for tactical updates and the occasional boast about her bloodlust. But it was obvious when the Deputy took her and the sharpshooter out in the field together - everyone thought they’d have a lot to discuss, and lord knew Grace made the effort to strike up some small talk. Jess just didn’t bite, and that would have to be that until the dust settled and her worldview wasn’t clouded red.

Or, better yet, Jess would never have to talk to her directly - ever - and things wouldn’t have to change for the worse. The Hey there, I’m Grace - you’re pretty good with that bow under her ribcage in the older woman’s just-barely-legible scrawl wouldn’t have to lead to anything. She could focus on killing, and not obsess over Grace’s every breath and movement like she imagined soulmates did. They were teammates, and they were gonna stay that way.

But Peggies had to fucking ruin everything, didn’t they?

It was their job to see everything the others couldn’t, especially in a firefight. Naturally, Jess was the only one who saw the bearded fuck with a bat sneaking up on Grace across the way, too focused on picking off shouting peggies below while the Deputy ran through and liberated prisoners. She could put an arrow between his eyes easily, but there was no time to line up her shot. She hesitated - briefly - before her fear of losing Grace for certain overtook the fear of potentially losing her to stupid feelings.

“Shit, Grace, there’s a peggie fuck behind you!” She didn’t even have to shout anything else before the sniper whipped around and slammed the butt of her rifle into the man’s jaw, and took advantage of his brief disorientation to whip out her pistol and shoot him point blank.

Grace really was her soulmate - no other person could make her want to use a gun.

There was no time to discuss this revelation in the chaos that followed - obviously. It was better that way - Grace found Jess sitting alone on a hill under the cover of night, when words seemed to come to both of them a little easier. Grace didn’t say anything at first, just came up beside her and stood there, both of them staring off into the trees. Jess fleetingly thought comfortable silence could be enough.

“So,” Grace started (dammit). There was a slight quirk to her lips as she started to unwrap the flag from her neck, and even with her skin in shadow, Jess could make out her chicken scratch handwriting winding around it like the world’s worst tattoo choker. “You certainly made for an interestin’ mystery.”

“Oh.” Jess diverted her gaze to her knees, digging her fists further into the pockets of her hoodie. “Sorry. Must’ve been awkward for a kid.”

“My mom didn’t like it, that’s for sure. She had me wear a scarf or long-necked shirts all the time - wasn’t great in the summer, but I got used to it.” Jess gave her the barest hint of a smile as she began to rub at her arm. Finding one’s soulmate was branded as a life-changing event, something beautiful and profound, and all she could manage was stilted small talk. Funny how a few minutes before, she thought things could be approaching perfect - fuck, was this what love felt like all the time? Was it love?

“I guess this whole thing is why you were avoidin’ me.” Grace knew damn well the burden of the conversation was on her, and she was stepping up, like she always did. Jess’s first instinct was to defend herself, but there was no point - it was the truth, plain as day.

“You know me.” She drew her knees even closer to her chest. “I’m not good at dealin’ with stuff like that.”

“You’re not the only one.” Grace sighed, taking a knee so they could be eye-level. “This… I’m not-- goddammit.” Jess blinked; Grace never tripped up on her words. She never said anything before she had fully formulated it in her mind, never wasted time on words she didn’t mean, or didn’t know how to say. They were both in uncharted territory - it didn’t make Jess feel leagues better, but it certainly helped a bit. “You know I’d never force you into anything you didn’t want. Fuck, I don’t even know what I want.”

“Yeah.” Jess scratched at her bottom lip with her thumb, letting out a sigh of her own. “...Yeah.”

“You wanna tell me what you’re thinking?”

Jess had to snort at that - because she did. “Shit’s crazy. It’s hard enough losin’ people on our side. You know… friends and shit.” She spit out the word like something sour; Grace’s answering chuckle spurred her on. “I’ve felt enough pain from losin’ my family like that, Grace. I don’t wanna know what--” She stopped herself, not only because she was baring her soul in a way she wasn’t used to. There was no turning off these feelings, and she’d had them for months ever since Grace spoke to her for the first time. Whether or not they did something about this soulmate business, the feelings would always be there, and would die with her. “I… maybe it’s not all about that. It’s a big fuckin’ reason, but-- shit, I hate this.”

“Nah, I think I get you.” Grace tilted her head to the side, watching Jess steadily. “Vulnerability. It’s a bitch.” Jess scoffed in affirmation - leave it up to her to be able to put it so plainly. They lapsed into silence again, though now the air hung heavy - though whether it was due to all that was said, or unsaid, Jess certainly didn’t fucking know.

“I’m not stupid enough to intentionally put myself in danger.” Grace spoke up again after a few minutes, smirking over at her. “But with these words, I was tempted a few times over the years.”

“Didn’t know you put that much stock into soulmates.”

She shrugged - though Jess could swear her cheeks flushed a bit. “Sometimes. I don’t know if you’re religious at all, but we’re taught that God himself has a hand in pickin’ em. They’re made for you - and once you find them you’ll be whole.” She sighed, taking off her cap and setting it down behind her. “Not that I felt I wasn’t whole without them - you - but it was a comforting thought during the rougher days of my deployment. Made me feel like I had another reason to make it back, aside from my pops and just wanting to see Hope County again.”

Jess just nodded, staring off into space. She was born with the name of her soulmate right there on her arm, not to mention her future life’s dedication. Thinking of herself back then, full of hope and anticipation, dreaming of the Grace who’d pay her the most important compliment of her entire life… it was like watching someone else’s home movies. Her soulmate wasn’t a comfort to her when everything went to shit - how could she rely on someone who was otherwise nebulous, regardless if they were unknowingly right under her nose? Depending on someone like that only spelled danger, and Jess thought she knew better.

It was odd, now, to be thinking of all that again with Grace right next to her. There was no one better to rely on, all things considered, but she had already been doing so enough. As teammates, Jess only needed her as much as everyone else did, if at all. Did she want it to mean more?

Shit, overthinking was so unlike her. So was talking this out - maybe they could once this was all over, when no one was left to aim and fire at, when all there was to do when they weren’t rebuilding was to talk and try at something. Right now, the only thing Jess had the balls to do was shift ever so closer to Grace, take her hand out of her pocket, and set it on the grass between them in silent invitation.

Grace didn’t take long to notice. “You sure?”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Just… come on.”

Grace watched her for a moment before brushing her fingers over Jess’s, gripping them loosely. “I’m glad it’s you, y’know. I don’t want you doubtin’ that.”

Honestly, Jess’s thoughts weren’t far off from going down that dark ‘oh fuck, she didn’t even want it to be someone like me, she deserves someone not so fucked up’ road before she said that. “I’m glad it’s you, too.” Jess was struck by Grace’s answering smile, never having seen a warmer one on her face. She wouldn’t mind getting to see that smile again.

“You know I’m here for you.” God, Jess nearly laughed - did all soulmates think about the same thing within minutes of each other, or just them? “Not that I wasn’t before--”

“No, I know. That’s just who you are.” There was that smile again. Maybe, just maybe, Jess could make a habit out of getting to show up more. The fact that she even wanted to was proof as to how crazy feelings were.

“And you’re there for me, huh?” Grace chuckled, squeezing her hand. “Maybe that’s all we need this to be.”

Now that the words are out there, Jess figured it’d be ideal. They could go on as “normal”, even when everything changed. They wouldn’t be distracted from fighting the good fight, they wouldn’t get shit from the others, and a relationship couldn’t be used against them. But the weight of Grace’s hand around hers was a comforting one - comfort she’d forgotten. She couldn’t forget about her smile, either.

“Maybe.” Jess couldn’t stop staring at her, eyes tracing over every inch of Grace’s worn but beautiful face - she wouldn’t even chastise herself for thinking that. Grace stared back at her, brow knit in concern, but reached out anyway to smooth some of Jess’s wild hair from out of her eyes, palm caressing her cheek as she did so. That touch alone set her nerves abuzz - she didn’t know if she could handle anymore affection ever. Grace sensed her discomfort and immediately pulled her hand away - but relaxed a bit at the small-but-still-obvious look of disappointment that Jess’s expression twisted into.

“We don’t have to decide anything now - don’t even have to talk about it now. We can just keep sittin’ next to each other ‘til we’re needed.” She watched Jess carefully for any sign of protest, then turned back to the sky, pulling her hand away until the tips of their fingers were just barely touching. Jess could feel the release of tension in the air around them, but she still found herself frozen for a few seconds. She was right - this didn’t have to be an immediate conversation, because she trusted Grace enough to keep both of them alive until they were in a better situation. Finding their “better half” didn’t magically fix the issues of two women damaged by violence and loss.

So Jess turned to face the sky with her, something approaching content at the thought that she might be looking forward to a future when all this was over.

[syncogon]

[QZGS Prequel TL] Ch 1: The Summer We Were Fifteen

QZGS author Butterfly Blue also wrote several prequel chapters to QZGS in a collection called “The Summit of Glory” (巅峰荣耀). 

I wanted to try translating all of it, but it’s a hefty 92k words long... However, this first chapter, featuring a fateful encounter between two siblings and a runaway, was short enough for me to manage. I hope you guys like it! 

(I’ll make a separate post with links to the rest of the chapters, and if there’s interest, I’ll do detailed recaps of them.)

(link to original ch1: https://justpaste.it/1ajhr)

Translated by: Syncogon

It was a sweltering summer afternoon, the sun scorching, the air thick with heat. Su Mucheng walked to the small cold drinks stall at the side of the road, wanting to buy a popsicle to ward off the summer, but even the popsicle vendor apparently didn’t care that this summer day was the perfect time for selling cold drinks, and had hidden somewhere to avoid the heat.

After waiting around for a while, there was still no one around, so Su Mucheng could only helplessly depart. She walked along the empty streets for a while before arriving at an internet café. Pushing open the door, the blast of cool air caused her to let out a sigh of relief. Then, she heard a noisy racket coming from within.

What was going on?

The curious Su Mucheng looked toward the source of the noice. The manager of the internet café already saw this young girl walk in, but instead of treating her like just another customer, he cheerfully gave her a wave. “Little Mucheng is here?”

“Yup, Brother Cui,” she replied.

“You’re bringing your brother food again!” Brother Cui saw the insulated lunch box in her hand; he was quite familiar with this sight.

“Yeah, where is he?” Mucheng asked.

“Over there.” Brother Cui pointed toward the area where the noise was coming from. “However, today he might not have much of an appetite.”

“Huh?”

“He’s met an opponent,” Brother Cui said with a smile.

An opponent?

Su Mucheng frowned. Even though she didn’t entirely understand the video games that her older brother played every day, she understood one thing clearly: her brother was very good. Playing these sort of competitive games with other people, he rarely lost.

An opponent? That was to say, someone who was just as good as her brother?

Su Mucheng headed over toward the source of the noise. Two back-to-back computers had been surrounded by a crowd three layers thick, and with Su Mucheng’s short stature, even on her tiptoes she couldn’t see a thing of what was going on. She could only hear the crowd’s reactions – a gasp here, a shout there.

“Su Muqiu, you’re not doing too well today!” someone suddenly yelled.

Not doing well?!

Su Mucheng was stunned. Not just someone who was as good as her brother, but someone whom her brother couldn’t defeat?

She desperately wanted to watch, and so she plunged into the crowd of people. Su Muqiu was a regular at this internet café, thus Su Mucheng appeared often as well, and was quite familiar with the manager. A few people, after recognizing her, shifted aside to let her pass – everyone quite liked this pretty young girl.

Finally made it through!

Su Mucheng let out a breath. Lifting her eyes, she could see her brother on the far computer, face wearing an uncommonly intense expression.

And his opponent?

His opponent was on the computer closer to her. She could only see his back, but he seemed to be a teenager around the same age as her brother. Her eyes fell upon his hands – they were quite pretty, dancing expertly upon the keyboard and mouse. The crisp percussion of his movements was accompanied by the gasps of the surrounding people.

This person really was quite good!

Even though Su Mucheng didn’t entirely understand these video games, she still unconsciously arrived at this conclusion. Just then, the spectators once again erupted with shouts, a mixture of shock and sympathy. Like that, the match was decided.

Who won?

Su Mucheng didn’t need to look at the computer screens. Just by looking at her brother’s face, she could figure out who had won.

Sounds of mockery began to fill the air. In this crowd of spectators, quite a few had lost to Su Muqiu. Now, upon seeing his defeat, they were quite gleeful.

Su Muqiu rolled his eyes, and though he felt a little awkward, he wasn’t angry. A lot of these people were his friends, after all, and the teasing was all in good fun. Normally, everyone here would win some and lose some, but Su Muqiu, with his high win streak, always had the upper hand. With his defeat today, could they let this rare opportunity to mock him go to waste?

“Su Muqiu, your little sister brought you food, better eat your fill and get your energy back before trying again!” someone yelled, causing the spectators to laugh. Su Muqiu looked around, finally seeing Su Mucheng standing just across from him.

“Alright, I’m stopping,” he said, pushing back the keyboard and standing up.

“Eating your fill before trying again?” his opponent said with a laugh.

The spectators were delighted. This kid knew what was up, even playing along with everyone’s mockery!

Su Muqiu glared at the other boy. “Come, come, have some food too, so that when you lose later you don’t have an excuse.

“I don’t think I need to worry about that,” the opponent said, even as he, too, stood up.

The crowd laughed uproariously – not only was this kid skilled, he had quite the sharp tongue!

“Come on, eat with us!” Su Mucheng said at this moment. She’d been standing behind him this whole time, so now she scurried forward to where the opponent could see her.

“You’re his sister?” the boy asked, looking over at Su Mucheng.

“Yup!”

“Do you play these games too?”

“Not really.”

“You should learn, it’s fun,” he said.

“Mucheng, come over here, don’t talk so much with strangers,” Su Muqiu said, interrupting them.

Su Mucheng smiled and skipped over to her brother’s side. The internet café had a lounge where customers could wait for an open computer, and Su Muqiu would often eat lunch here. The other boy wasn’t shy and followed the two siblings over here.

Su Muqiu took the lunch box from his sister and deftly split the food into three equal portions. After looking at it for a bit, he scraped some more food from one portion to another. He gave the larger portion to Su Mucheng, took the smaller one for himself, and gestured for the other boy to take the remainder.

“Brother, you should eat this bigger portion!” Su Mucheng said immediately. The meal was meant for two people, barely. Splitting it three ways was already stretching it, and now that her brother had given even more to her, he probably wouldn’t even be half full with his portion.

“Nah, I couldn’t finish that,” Su Muqiu said easily.

“Haha, because you’re mad? You shouldn’t be, losing and winning is all a normal part of the game.” The other boy took the portion he was given, but his hands were fast – in the blink of an eye, he had dumped some of his food to Su Muqiu’s plate.

“I’m in a good mood, I don’t need to eat this much,” he explained.

“You…” Su Muqiu grumbled, but accepted it.

“I’ve never seen you around before,” Su Mucheng took this opportunity to say. This time, her brother didn’t stop her with any warning of “don’t talk to strangers.”

“Oh, I was just passing by, just wanted to casually play a bit. Then I heard there was a skilled player here, and then…”

“And then?” Su Mucheng prompted.

“And then I went to see if I could learn anything from him. He really is a skilled player. Only a little worse than me,” he said.

“Hey, don’t speak too soon!” Su Muqiu protested. “We’re going again after eating!”

“Haha, I can’t,” the other boy said.

“What, scared?”

“I don’t have any money left,” the boy said, patting his pockets.

This reason was a solid one. Of course, without money there was no way to use the computers in the internet café.

“It’s on me!” Su Muqiu refused to let this go so easily.

“I eat your food, I use your money for the internet, and I defeat you? Isn’t that kinda mean?”

“Oi, who said you were going to win for sure?”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll lose once in a while, too,” the boy conceded.

“…I’m done eating.” Now Su Muqiu really was too annoyed to eat.

“Why don’t you guys go home and play?” Su Mucheng suggested.

“Oh?”

“At home… at home the computers aren’t the same, so you can’t really play games like this on them,” Su Muqiu said to his sister.

The computer configurations would affect the battle, and one of their computers was much worse than the other, making some PvP games unfair. Su Mucheng didn’t understand all this, and thought that as long as you had two computers then you could battle on them.

“But there should be other games where that doesn’t matter too much, right?” the other boy asked.

“Are you saying that you’re confident you could beat me in any game?” Su Muqiu said.

“Of course not, there are too many games out there! Only in the games I know how to play.”

Su Muqiu wanted to flip the table. “Stand up, we’re battling this out!”

“I’m done eating,” the other boy answered, putting down his bowl and chopsticks.

“Let’s go! Mucheng, come join us once you’re done.” Without wasting a moment, Su Muqiu dragged the other boy away.

“See you in a bit!” The other boy managed to turn back and give her a wave as the two of them left.

“See you,” Su Mucheng answered with a smile.

She never would have imagined that this random stranger, crashing into her and her brother’s life, would end up walking alongside her for ten years and beyond.

[necrowriter]

colors after dark

trigger warning: discussion of aging/immortality, war, violent death, gun death. 

---------------------------------

When Siobhan found Mal, he was standing out on the pier, leaning on the railing and staring out at the reflections of fireworks on the water. Where his own reflection should have been, there was only a faint dark shadow, an empty spot surrounded by a halo of popping colors.

Siobhan exhaled softly and went to stand next to him, watching as her own blurred reflection appeared next to where his wasn't. Despite the thick summer air still holding in the heat of the day, he was wearing his usual jacket, though, presumably in deference to making at least a token effort to appear affected by the environment, he had gone without the flannel shirt underneath.

He had also taken off the scarf he almost never went without, no matter the weather. She could see the scar on his throat.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey.”

He sounded calm and slightly distant, which was strange coming from someone who was normally so lively it was easy to forget that he wasn't alive. Siobhan fidgeted with one of the charms around her wrist. Usually she and Mal could easily enjoy a companionable silence, but this one felt anything but enjoyable.

Usually it was also Mal cheering her up, not the other way around. She wasn't quite sure how to handle this. She felt she had to say something, but she had a sinking suspicion that anything she said would be putting her foot in her mouth.

Well, if it was going to happen anyway, she might as well go ahead and get it over with.

“So...” she ventured, “is this...a weird day for you?”

For a moment Mal gave no sign that he had heard. He could go eerily still, when he wanted to, not that he often did. Most of the time Mal was fidgety and expressive and boisterous, and it made you forget that he didn't need to blink or breathe, didn't sweat or shiver, didn't, in general, have all the little movements and tics and signs of being alive.

She was relieved when he finally glanced at her and let out a faint huff of laughter. “A little bit, yeah. I have had time to get used to it, though. It comes around every year, after all.”

“Well...true.”

This was stupid, she thought bitterly. What business did she have trying to comfort Mal over something like this? He had been around so much longer than her, longer than she would ever live; what useful perspective could she possibly have for this situation? She should have left him to deal with it, whatever it was, in his own way.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I guess I just-”

“You know, they thought it was going to be the second,” Mal said.

She blinked. “Uh, what? Oh, the holiday, you mean...?”

“Yeah. That was the day they actually passed the official vote. The Declaration came out two days later.”

“Right,” Siobhan said, a little suspiciously. It paid to be cautious when Mal was giving out historical trivia. “Is this from personal experience or-”

Mal grinned. It wasn't quite up to his usual luminosity, but it was something. “Nah, I read it in a book somewhere. I wasn't really keeping very precise tabs on the situation at the time.”

Siobhan raised her eyebrows. “I would've figured it would have been a pretty big deal.”

“It was. I'm just very unobservant.”

“Well, that I knew,” she said dryly. “But failing to notice that you were suddenly in a new country seems like a big thing to miss even for you.”

“Listen, we were living out on a farm away from town, it took a while to hear things. It's not like we had cable news.”

“Yeah, sure, blame technology.”

“More the lack of technology, really.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

Mal smiled fondly. For the first time she noticed that he had something in his hands, something on a cord that was wrapped around his wrist. She couldn't see what it was.

“So...is it strange, then, seeing it all now?” she asked, feeling very slightly more confident about the treacherous waters of this conversation. “I mean, the way we celebrate it and everything...”

“Actually, the way it gets celebrated really hasn't changed much. We've pretty much been making big noises and setting shit on fire from the start. I mean, the fireworks are definitely better quality now, I'll tell you that, and there's a lot more flag merchandising, but...”

“Huh,” she said. “Well, that's...comforting, in a weird kind of way.”

“Mm. It's nice to have constants.” He fidgeted with the object in his hand. “They were celebrating it before the war even ended, you know.”

“...Yeah?”

“Yeah. People tend to forget how long it went on, I think. Everyone remembers 1776, not so much that there was seven years of fighting after that.”

She winced. “I...yeah, I guess that would be a bit...”

“Odd to watch everyone celebrating like it was all over and done with in one day? Yeah, a little bit.” He shrugged. “Not that I can really say that much. I didn't even see most of it myself. Bowed out early, you could say.”

“I'm...sorry,” she said, which was not at all an adequate response, but then again perhaps nothing would be.

He smiled sadly. “For what? The day of my death not being nationally remembered? That's true for the vast majority of people, you know.”

“Well...yeah...but it does seem a little...I dunno...we kinda put aside the rest of it, I guess...”

Mal shrugged. “A lot of people died,” he said. “Slow, or quick. Heat, or cold, or musket rounds, or bayonets. Trampled by horses, walked barefoot through snow til their feet bled, went home with traumas no one had words for yet. And people did that before the war, and after it, and they're still doing it now.”

He finally uncurled his hand, revealing a small metal ball with a hole drilled through it for the cord. It took Siobhan a moment to realize what she was looking at.

“Is that...a musket ball?”

Mal rubbed his fingers over the rough metal surface. “Yep. Authentic historical artifact, this is.”

She had a sudden, horrible thought.

“That's not...that's not the one that, uh...”

Mal stared at her for a moment before his eyes widened in realization. “What, the one that killed me? Oh, no, no, no. No, that one went straight through.” He mimed the shot, jabbing straight at the pale starburst scar on his throat. “Even if I wanted to carry a thing like that around I would never have been able to find it. No...”

He let the musket ball slip from his fingers and dangle, pendulum-like, over the glittering water. “No, this was the last one I had. In my pouch, you know. My last shot.”

Siobhan watched, almost mesmerized, as he swung it back and forth, back and forth. The motion looked careless, but the cord was wrapped around his wrist so tightly it would have hurt, if he had still felt things in that way.

“I don't really know why I hung onto it...afterward...but I did and now it's the last thing I have left. Everything else that was mine when I was alive-not that there was a lot of it to begin with-it's all gone. Rotted or burned or broken or lost.”

Fireworks flashed red, white and blue over the space where Mal's reflection should have been.

“People forget,” he said. “They forget, they move on. That's how it works. Things lose importance when they fall out of living memory. Some more severely than others, but everything does in time. I don't...begrudge that. Maybe I should. Maybe I should be bothered to see celebration, and no acknowledgment of the things I remember...the stench and the screaming, going down bleeding in the smoke. But who am I to complain? Everyone dies, and it's very rarely pleasant, but most of that pain doesn't get memorialized at all. I was mourned well enough in my time. That's good enough for me.”

A particularly spectacular blast lit up the night, briefly staining the water with red.

“But...it's a reminder,” Mal went on. “To look at what people remember about that day. About that year. And, well, what they don't remember. Oh, I know it's still all studied and written down and known well enough, but the idea of it, now, the things that turned from memory into history into mythology, the things that have fallen aside over time...it reminds me of how long it's been. It reminds me that I'm not supposed to still be here. That I'm not supposed to still be. And it makes me feel...well...old.”

He sighed heavily and cradled the musket ball in his fingers. In the glare of the lights that lined the pier, his face looked stark and pale and ageless.

“Well,” Siobhan said, “I guess I'm not supposed to be here either.”

Mal looked up sharply. “What?”

“I wouldn't still be around if it weren't for you. You know that.”

He shook his head and looked away. “You'd get on. I might have helped, but that doesn't mean you ever needed me. Plus, you know, most of the things I've saved you from were things that I got you into in the first place.”

“We'll have to disagree on that one,” Siobhan said firmly. “Well...not the last part. We definitely agree there.”

Mal smiled slightly.

Siobhan sighed and ruffled her fingers through her hair. “Look...I know what you mean, I get that, but...I really don't feel like I'm supposed to still be here, a lot of the time. Because...well, because. And I know that's, uh, that there's a fair bit of difference between that and being a vampire. I mean,  you get better perks, for one thing.”

She felt a small bit of triumph when Mal laughed at that one.

“But-I am still here. And so are you. Whether we're supposed to be or not, we are. That's...that's, you know, that's kind of like winning.”

He looked at her in surprise. “Well...when you put it like that.”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “Look, I got you something. It's, um...I mean, I honestly don't know if this is appropriate at all, so feel free to pitch it off the side-well, don't do that, that would be littering, but the point is-”

“Oh, you know damn well I'm not pitching it anywhere, so you might as well get on with it.”

“Right, yes.” She dug in her pocket and pulled out a pin that said 1776 with a colorful blast of fireworks behind the numbers. Mal took it carefully and looked at it like he'd never seen anything like it.

“I...they had a lot of them, and I wasn't sure...most of them were really patriotic. Or they had political messages or whatever. But I thought you might like that one, with the color, and...I just felt like you should have a little...acknowledgment, you know? I mean, you can't exactly just tell people you're a veteran, but-”

“But you remembered.”

“But I remembered. And I will remember. Not everything about your life, your time, but...what I can, I will. And...you can wear that and, you know, maybe we can pretend that the world remembers.”

Mal slipped the musket ball into his pocket and carefully affixed the pin to the front of his jacket.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I'll wear it with pride.”

Then he turned away from the water and blew out a long and purely theatrical breath. “Well, that was a heavy conversation. Want to go misuse our supernatural powers to get a really good fireworks-watching spot?”

Siobhan grinned. “I thought you'd never ask.”

------------------

Originally posted here. 

[Image descriptions: 1. A man’s outstretched hands holding a musket ball on a cord in one and a metal pin reading ‘1776′ in the other. 2. A man and a woman walking down a pier with fireworks in the background; dialogue: “You know, as a vampire, there is one thing I’ve always appreciated about this holiday.” “Yeah?” “Yeah...the best part happens after dark, so I always get to see it.” “Plus it’s obnoxious and loud, just like you.” “Hey!”]

[rwbyremnants]

THIS CHAPTER: First time, handjob, premature ejaculation.

=Chapter 9

Bowling was a lot of fun for the whole family. Of course, that was only because the parents didn’t notice Ruby teasing Yang and trying to make her smell her bowling shoes, but that was only briefly annoying. The rest of the time was a lot of fun, competing against each other, scarfing down pizza and sodas from the snack stand and generally goofing around.

By the end of it, Yang was even starting to feel less weird around Summer. Her brain still twisted the knife by flashing the memories of her nude body at her once in awhile, but it was becoming less frequent and she could easily tolerate that much. Besides, remembering Ruby’s body helped a lot with that.

On the way home, they stopped for frozen yogurt and chatted and laughed. Everything was on the mend; their dad definitely didn’t look put out about Yang skipping fishing now that they had some quality father-daughter time in, and they were all talking as normal. Even the occasional guilty look in Summer’s eyes didn’t bring down the evening; after all, they hadn’t really done anything wrong. Just didn’t volunteer an embarrassing story that would have probably made poor Taiyang a little green around the gills. In time, they would forget all about it, other than an occasional wet dream Yang might have when her subconscious mind decided to be an asshole.

By the time they got back, Tai, Ruby and Summer were all pretty tired. After about an hour of TV, they one by one drifted off to bed, Summer the last.

“This has been… a day,” she offered to Yang with a pained smile.

“A pretty good one.” Yang made sure to grin, and without any awkwardness; she wanted her to know that it was already no big deal to her. She noticed her relax, even if only slightly. “See you tomorrow.”

The woman came over to sit on the edge of the couch where Yang was reclining. Irrationally, she felt tense and wanted to worry about what might happen, but she made herself breathe and remain calm.

“Listen… again, I’m very sorry for what hap-”

“Don’t. I got a free show, and you got a tan. That’s it. Nothing else has to be said; we’re cool.”

“Alright,” she breathed with a small smile. Her hand raised, as if she were going to pet Yang’s hair or a similar show of affection, then drew away again as she thought better of it. “Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t.”

Once she was alone, she flipped through channels for a while. There was nothing very interesting on, but she found some reruns of an old sitcom that she used to love, and killed some time watching that. Then she got a text message…

BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey hows it goin down there? n_n

Another grin split Yang’s face. She didn’t think her teammate would care enough to message! Rolling over onto her back, she sat up just enough to make it easier to flash her thumbs over the letters.

ME : P good hbu?

BLAKEYWAKEY : Not baaad just chillin w fam c: BLAKEYWAKEY : Is it awk w ur stepmom? Is she being a bitch or

ME : Oh… if only u knew lmaooo

So she told her. There were a lot of “WHAT”s and “R U SRS”es from Blake along the way, but she mostly just let the story unfold until it was over.

BLAKEYWAKEY : Did u see BUSH?!?!

ME : DUDE NO STOP

BLAKEYWAKEY : Omfg u saw ur stepmoms bush im kinkshaming

ME : Ughhhhhh I wanna die

BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey question BLAKEYWAKEY : I thought u didn’t like girls

ME : Well ME : I didnt really know but now I think im bi? ME : Just never had any real dates soooooo

BLAKEYWAKEY : Omg but BLAKEYWAKEY : I showed u mine BLAKEYWAKEY : Oh man I didn’t mean to like freak u out

ME : YOU DIDN’T IM FINE

BLAKEYWAKEY : HOW FINE U PERV

ME : Dude pls don’t ME : I feel weird enough abt shit here ME : We both know u like dick so don’t act like u weren’t perving

BLAKEYWAKEY : ...no comment BLAKEYWAKEY : OKAY FINE if it wasn’t on u I’d be all over it

ME : WOW

BLAKEYWAKEY : U KNOW WHAT I MEANNNN shhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Maybe I’ll let u fwb me up if I get antsy

ME : …bad Blake down kitty

BLAKEYWAKEY : WHY DO U ALWAYS CALL ME KITTY I’M SNSKHDLSLDS

ME : Anyway… yeah maybe I thought she was hot but shes my dads wife ME : It’s not right

BLAKEYWAKEY : Yeahhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey im sorry for making it awk BLAKEYWAKEY : Ur probably feeling really messed up abt this BLAKEYWAKEY : Im sorry I’ll shut up

ME : Not really but a little yeah ME : And then there’s… ME : Nvm

BLAKEYWAKEY : ???

Yang really did think about it, but there was no way she could bring herself to tell Blake about her illicit affair with her half-sister. Not over text. Maybe she’d confess to her when she got back for Fall classes.

ME : Anyway tell me about Maine lol do u eat lobster every day

BLAKEYWAKEY : God I wish BLAKEYWAKEY : And do u really think this subject is over?!? What a bad segue

ME : I SAW HER NAKED BIG DEAL

BLAKEYWAKEY : IT KIND OF IS?? For u anyway BLAKEYWAKEY : how big were her boobs

ME : …

By the time Yang was done texting and bingewatching, she felt tired enough to try to go to sleep. Or at least, to lay down and hope that it happened. Worse come to worst, her phone had Netflix.

She poked her head in to check on Ruby once she was all washed up and changed. She was asleep and snoring quietly; it was such a gentle noise that she couldn’t believe Ruby had once acted like it would bother Yang. Smiling, she tiptoed over and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Hm?”

“Shhhh. Goodnight.”

“Hey,” Ruby breathed, smiling up at her. “Um… stay here?”

“What?”

“Stay. Sleep here.” She nipped her sheets open for emphasis.

“Nah,” she whispered back with a grin. “It’s okay, I can survive until morning.”

But then Ruby pouted, and she knew she was lost. Rolling her eyes, she walked back to ease the door shut, then slid into the bed next to her sister.

“You’re really warm,” Yang whispered to her.

“Your legs are cold.” They both giggled. “But they’ll be warm, too, in a minute.”

“Whiny brat.”

Pulling Yang’s arms more tightly around her middle, Ruby whispered, “You wanted to.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you did it. And you didn’t even act that grumpy first.”

Dead to rights. Again. Grinning into Ruby’s neck, she said, “I feel so good next to you like this.”

“Oh…” Yang had thought that was it, until she heard a little sniffle half a minute later.

“Ruby?”

Swallowing hard, she clutched at Yang’s arms tighter. When nothing further transpired for a few seconds, and Yang was still waiting for an answer, tense now instead of relaxed, she spoke up… and it became clear why she was so quiet before.

“I love you so much. I… kinda forget it, until y-you say something like that… s-sorry, I don’t m-mean to get so… to get all sappy about…”

“Ruby… I love you, too.”

After a few seconds, Ruby rolled to face her, eyes dark from the low lighting in the room gazing up at her. They didn’t speak for a while; just looked at each other and knew things that no one else would ever know. Then they kissed, chaste at first, more robust after a minute or two. No words.

When Yang felt a pink little tongue poking its way into her mouth, she withdrew and whispered, “Ruby… what are you doing? It’s late…”

“I want this…”

“What?” Another lick along her bottom lip, making Yang shiver. “You have me here already.”

“But I want you to be with me. I… I want…”

So that’s what she meant. Gulping, Yang reached up to pet along Ruby’s back through her tank. “There’s no rush, though.”

“Yeah, but there is. We only have a couple more weeks! And you’ll be gone! So… so I want to start now, I want to do as much as we can!”

The urgency alone threatened to make Yang give in. However, she was made of tougher stuff. Reaching up and grasping her bicep, she managed to catch Ruby’s eyes.

“Why? It’s… I like what we’re already doing.”

“But I want to do everything with you.” Swallowing, she glanced away, then up at Yang again. “I want you to f-feel… feel how wet I am…”

At that little turn of phrase, Yang almost fell out of the bed. “You what?!”

“SHH!” Ruby warned, though neither of them were loud enough to be heard, even by someone sitting right outside the door. Then she followed up with, “Kissing you… it makes my body heat up, my brain go fuzzy. I kinda love it, even while it makes me worried… but none of that’s the point. The point is, I’m so close to you, and I want to be even closer!”

“Ruby…” That was certainly making her own situation no better. While just kissing, her body had only responded a little, but now that her half-sister had revealed her own situation, she couldn’t stop thinking about it long enough to make it go away. Quite the opposite.

A shaky little laugh passed out of Ruby when she felt it. “O-oh, there you are. A little late to the party!” But she didn’t spend much time on that. Again, her lips were mashing into Yang’s as they kissed, bodies sliding over each other a little in their eagerness to feel more, to experience.

After some time, when she felt her own shorts being forced downward, Yang whispered, “This isn’t okay.”

“I know,” Ruby breathed. “But it’s okay with us. ”

“I…” How could she argue with the truth?

Feeling Ruby’s hand directly around her was far different than feeling it through her shorts. If she hadn’t finished herself off so much the past days, she might have succumbed easily… but instead, she merely put up with the teasing, exploring hand, the fingers poking into her flesh slightly as they glided up and down along the throbbing mass.

“It’s so hard,” Ruby told her with an earnest tone. “You’re so hard. Is this for me?”

“U-uh-huh,” she managed before swallowing. “Yes.”

“I, um… I got us a little something. Yesterday. Call me a ‘plan ahead’ kinda girl.”

Reaching behind them into her table, she brought out a little pack of condoms. There weren’t very many, but it was an entire pack’s-worth more than Yang expected to see.

“Oh my god… really? You seriously thought we… but we’re related! This isn’t just messing around and kissing, that’s a whole other-”

“I know, okay? But… no more hiding from it. I love you, and you love me, and this is… kinda part of that. Just dumb not to at least be ready for if it happens.”

As Ruby opened the box, Yang tried to ignore how badly her body was trying to get her to take Ruby up on her offer and failed. Not even the cute and amusing sight of her struggling with the box was enough; she still wanted to be with her in that way. Still liked everything that Ruby was.

“There we go,” she breathed at last, holding up the shiny packet. Her eyebrows waggled, and Yang rolled her eyes, which only earned her a laugh.

“Like you know how to put one of those on.”

“I do! We did it to bananas in health class. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”

“What’s- whoa, you’re…”

Ruby had shimmied down to hover with her face just over Yang’s crotch, a face amongst a pool of blankets. She looked a bit distracted by how close she was to the object of her interest… but she managed to push the desire back for long enough to rip open the packet and pull out the little ring of latex.

“Mmm,” she breathed as she pushed a kiss into Yang’s head… and she felt her mind go blank. Ruby wasn’t just touching her tonight, it seemed. There was so much more in store! “So good…”

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, “You can’t be serious. One kiss on my dick is ‘so good’?”

“Yeah.” Bald honesty shone in her voice.

“O-oh? Really?” Another loving peck along her warm shaft, probably purely to prove herself. “You’re pretty… convincing…”

“I love this dick,” she confessed easily. “It kinda got us talking about us , weird as it is.” Then she began to roll the latex downward…

And all of a sudden, Yang realised she had a real problem. She wasn’t just ready for sex; she was ready to finish. Ruby was doing too good a job! Every movement intended to move the latex protection a little further along her member was one that made it ready to shoot. That early on, she was already biting her lip and writhing back and forth, hoping to resist.

“Ooh, someone’s eager.” Grasping the base, she pumped her hand a few times, causing Yang to gasp out. “Nice!”

“Ruby… y-you gotta stop!”

That seemed to catch her by surprise. Pumping her fist up and down furiously for a second, she smirked and whispered, “Nah. I wanna make sure you stay ready for me.”

“B-but if you- if- NNHHHH!!!”

The last part was somehow growled into the pillow at the last second, instead of the room at large. As much as she was convulsing and gasping out, she knew Ruby would probably figure out soon enough what was going on… but for the time being, she was still being stroked and loving every second.

Then the younger half-sister did start, glancing between the end of the balloon entrapping her sex and Yang’s face, stretched wide in release.

“Oh shit… did you- did we really just-”

“I’m so sorry, dude,” Yang half-wheezed, eyes closing in distant pleasure from the hand still wrapped around her. “Seriously… you were all about this, doing so much, and then, I… I suck! Obviously!”

Smiling gently, Ruby patted her thigh, releasing her spent length in the process. “I’m sorry! God, I really didn’t think you were that close to- I wasn’t trying- WOW, you came just from that?!”

Her face burned with embarrassment. This was even worse than the fact that they were crossing societal lines to be together; she couldn’t even seem to handle that “together” part without losing control way, way too early. She wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

“Oh… awww, Yang, it’s okay,” Ruby cooed when she finally realised how much this was affecting her. Her arms circled around her back. “Hey…”

“That was p-pathetic!” she snapped into the pillow. “God, after yesterday, I thought I could hold out longer!”

“Yang, I don’t care about that! I’m… it makes me happy that felt so good that you couldn’t wait.” Her smiling face pushed in closer to Yang’s, and she kissed both of her cheeks. “You did tell me to slow down and I… I should have listened. I’m really sorry. Um, I just didn’t want you to go soft while I was putting it on?”

Finally, she began to calm down, little by little. When she could talk again, she let out a long sigh and whispered, “Thanks, Ruby. I, um… I think you really wanted this to be… like, our first time? And… now it can’t be.”

“Y-yeah, I um, I’ve heard that… people with dicks can’t go again when they’re done.” To her credit, she did remember not to say “guys” that time. “But it’s cool! You finished, and I’m happy to help. Oh, and speaking of which…”

As Yang watched, fascinated and still embarrassed, Ruby pulled the condom off and threw it and the wrapper away, then wiped her hands on a tissue and tossed that before returning to the bed. In the meantime, Yang pulled her shorts back up; she didn’t want Ruby’s first real look at her anatomy being when it was freshly-milked and half-hard, coated in leftover lube and her own juices.

“Awww,” Ruby cooed as she returned to the bed. “I wanted to play with that.”

“Not tonight,” Yang said with a half-smile. “Maybe… I can do something for you?”

But when her hands fell to Ruby’s waist, the girl looked down with a self-conscious giggle. “N-nah. I m-mean, I, um… I don’t think I’m…” Then she cleared her throat. “I thought I was ready to go there with you, I guess, but like, just you doing it for me is different somehow. That’s probably really dumb.”

Wrapping her arms around Ruby’s back instead, she simply laid next to her for a long moment. Then, once they were a little more comfortable, she spoke.

“It’s not dumb. It’s… sweet, in a way. But I think… I think I’d be okay playing with you now. And I know, I was kinda weird about it at first, because of the sister thing. But by now I think we’re kind of past that, I guess. So… if you change your mind, I could try a hand, at least. O-or something.”

“Listen to us,” Ruby giggled quietly. “Both pretty nervous. I, um… I think it’s kind of more fun with you being my sister. No, wait!” she squeaked when Yang drew back in shock. “You know, because we’re kind of, like… destined to be together, because we’re related? I know, I’m crazy, but it’s weirdly romantic to me.”

Shaking her head, she pushed her face into her sister’s neck. “You think too much. But… maybe, yeah. And…” She’d been worrying about this for a long time. “And I kind of deserve this, for being such a jerk when you were little. Telling you that you were ‘dumb’ or whatever, and that I didn't like you. Like, what makes more karmic sense than for me to fall in love with you and have to eat my own words?”

“So you think of this as a punishment? Me jerking you off is a punishment?”

“What? Oh! Shit, no, that totally isn’t-” But Ruby’s laughter cut her off, and she grunted, “You butt…”

“Yeah, you like my butt.”

“All of you is on the list, and all of you is a butt,” she sighed as she snuggled against her even more closely. “Big, ridonk badonkadonk.”

[apathetic-revenant]

colors after dark

happy Fourth of July, have a happy story about death and the inexorable passage of time. 

also vampires.

When Siobhan found Mal, he was standing out on the pier, leaning on the railing and staring out at the reflections of fireworks on the water. Where his own reflection should have been, there was only a faint dark shadow, an empty spot surrounded by a halo of popping colors.

Siobhan exhaled softly and went to stand next to him, watching as her own blurred reflection appeared next to where his wasn't. Despite the thick summer air still holding in the heat of the day, he was wearing his usual jacket, though, presumably in deference to making at least a token effort to appear affected by the environment, he had gone without the flannel shirt underneath.

He had also taken off the scarf he almost never went without, no matter the weather. She could see the scar on his throat.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey.”

He sounded calm and slightly distant, which was strange coming from someone who was normally so lively it was easy to forget that he wasn't alive. Siobhan fidgeted with one of the charms around her wrist. Usually she and Mal could easily enjoy a companionable silence, but this one felt anything but enjoyable.

Usually it was also Mal cheering her up, not the other way around. She wasn't quite sure how to handle this. She felt she had to say something, but she had a sinking suspicion that anything she said would be putting her foot in her mouth.

Well, if it was going to happen anyway, she might as well go ahead and get it over with.

“So...” she ventured, “is this...a weird day for you?”

For a moment Mal gave no sign that he had heard. He could go eerily still, when he wanted to, not that he often did. Most of the time Mal was fidgety and expressive and boisterous, and it made you forget that he didn't need to blink or breathe, didn't sweat or shiver, didn't, in general, have all the little movements and tics and signs of being alive.

She was relieved when he finally glanced at her and let out a faint huff of laughter. “A little bit, yeah. I have had time to get used to it, though. It comes around every year, after all.”

“Well...true.”

This was stupid, she thought bitterly. What business did she have trying to comfort Mal over something like this? He had been around so much longer than her, longer than she would ever live; what useful perspective could she possibly have for this situation? She should have left him to deal with it, whatever it was, in his own way.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I guess I just-”

“You know, they thought it was going to be the second,” Mal said.

She blinked. “Uh, what? Oh, the holiday, you mean...?”

“Yeah. That was the day they actually passed the official vote. The Declaration came out two days later.”

“Right,” Siobhan said, a little suspiciously. It paid to be cautious when Mal was giving out historical trivia. “Is this from personal experience or-”

Mal grinned. It wasn't quite up to his usual luminosity, but it was something. “Nah, I read it in a book somewhere. I wasn't really keeping very precise tabs on the situation at the time.”

Siobhan raised her eyebrows. “I would've figured it would have been a pretty big deal.”

“It was. I'm just very unobservant.”

“Well, that I knew,” she said dryly. “But failing to notice that you were suddenly in a new country seems like a big thing to miss even for you.”

“Listen, we were living out on a farm away from town, it took a while to hear things. It's not like we had cable news.”

“Yeah, sure, blame technology.”

“More the lack of technology, really.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

Mal smiled fondly. For the first time she noticed that he had something in his hands, something on a cord that was wrapped around his wrist. She couldn't see what it was.

“So...is it strange, then, seeing it all now?” she asked, feeling very slightly more confident about the treacherous waters of this conversation. “I mean, the way we celebrate it and everything...”

“Actually, the way it gets celebrated really hasn't changed much. We've pretty much been making big noises and setting shit on fire from the start. I mean, the fireworks are definitely better quality now, I'll tell you that, and there's a lot more flag merchandising, but...”

“Huh,” she said. “Well, that's...comforting, in a weird kind of way.”

“Mm. It's nice to have constants.” He fidgeted with the object in his hand. “They were celebrating it before the war even ended, you know.”

“...Yeah?”

“Yeah. People tend to forget how long it went on, I think. Everyone remembers 1776, not so much that there was seven years of fighting after that.”

She winced. “I...yeah, I guess that would be a bit...”

“Odd to watch everyone celebrating like it was all over and done with in one day? Yeah, a little bit.” He shrugged. “Not that I can really say that much. I didn't even see most of it myself. Bowed out early, you could say.”

“I'm...sorry,” she said, which was not at all an adequate response, but then again perhaps nothing would be.

He smiled sadly. “For what? The day of my death not being nationally remembered? That's true for the vast majority of people, you know.”

“Well...yeah...but it does seem a little...I dunno...we kinda put aside the rest of it, I guess...”

Mal shrugged. “A lot of people died,” he said. “Slow, or quick. Heat, or cold, or musket rounds, or bayonets. Trampled by horses, walked barefoot through snow til their feet bled, went home with traumas no one had words for yet. And people did that before the war, and after it, and they're still doing it now.”

He finally uncurled his hand, revealing a small metal ball with a hole drilled through it for the cord. It took Siobhan a moment to realize what she was looking at.

“Is that...a musket ball?”

Mal rubbed his fingers over the rough metal surface. “Yep. Authentic historical artifact, this is.”

She had a sudden, horrible thought.

“That's not...that's not the one that, uh...”

Mal stared at her for a moment before his eyes widened in realization. “What, the one that killed me? Oh, no, no, no. No, that one went straight through.” He mimed the shot, jabbing straight at the pale starburst scar on his throat. “Even if I wanted to carry a thing like that around I would never have been able to find it. No...”

He let the musket ball slip from his fingers and dangle, pendulum-like, over the glittering water. “No, this was the last one I had. In my pouch, you know. My last shot.”

Siobhan watched, almost mesmerized, as he swung it back and forth, back and forth. The motion looked careless, but the cord was wrapped around his wrist so tightly it would have hurt, if he had still felt things in that way.

“I don't really know why I hung onto it...afterward...but I did and now it's the last thing I have left. Everything else that was mine when I was alive-not that there was a lot of it to begin with-it's all gone. Rotted or burned or broken or lost.”

Fireworks flashed red, white and blue over the space where Mal's reflection should have been.

“People forget,” he said. “They forget, they move on. That's how it works. Things lose importance when they fall out of living memory. Some more severely than others, but everything does in time. I don't...begrudge that. Maybe I should. Maybe I should be bothered to see celebration, and no acknowledgment of the things I remember...the stench and the screaming, going down bleeding in the smoke. But who am I to complain? Everyone dies, and it's very rarely pleasant, but most of that pain doesn't get memorialized at all. I was mourned well enough in my time. That's good enough for me.”

A particularly spectacular blast lit up the night, briefly staining the water with red.

“But...it's a reminder,” Mal went on. “To look at what people remember about that day. About that year. And, well, what they don't remember. Oh, I know it's still all studied and written down and known well enough, but the idea of it, now, the things that turned from memory into history into mythology, the things that have fallen aside over time...it reminds me of how long it's been. It reminds me that I'm not supposed to still be here. That I'm not supposed to still be. And it makes me feel...well...old.”

He sighed heavily and cradled the musket ball in his fingers. In the glare of the lights that lined the pier, his face looked stark and pale and ageless.

“Well,” Siobhan said, “I guess I'm not supposed to be here either.”

Mal looked up sharply. “What?”

“I wouldn't still be around if it weren't for you. You know that.”

He shook his head and looked away. “You'd get on. I might have helped, but that doesn't mean you ever needed me. Plus, you know, most of the things I've saved you from were things that I got you into in the first place.”

“We'll have to disagree on that one,” Siobhan said firmly. “Well...not the last part. We definitely agree there.”

Mal smiled slightly.

Siobhan sighed and ruffled her fingers through her hair. “Look...I know what you mean, I get that, but...I really don't feel like I'm supposed to still be here, a lot of the time. Because...well, because. And I know that's, uh, that there's a fair bit of difference between that and being a vampire. I mean,  you get better perks, for one thing.”

She felt a small bit of triumph when Mal laughed at that one.

“But-I am still here. And so are you. Whether we're supposed to be or not, we are. That's...that's, you know, that's kind of like winning.”

He looked at her in surprise. “Well...when you put it like that.”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “Look, I got you something. It's, um...I mean, I honestly don't know if this is appropriate at all, so feel free to pitch it off the side-well, don't do that, that would be littering, but the point is-”

“Oh, you know damn well I'm not pitching it anywhere, so you might as well get on with it.”

“Right, yes.” She dug in her pocket and pulled out a pin that said 1776 with a colorful blast of fireworks behind the numbers. Mal took it carefully and looked at it like he'd never seen anything like it.

“I...they had a lot of them, and I wasn't sure...most of them were really patriotic. Or they had political messages or whatever. But I thought you might like that one, with the color, and...I just felt like you should have a little...acknowledgment, you know? I mean, you can't exactly just tell people you're a veteran, but-”

“But you remembered.”

“But I remembered. And I will remember. Not everything about your life, your time, but...what I can, I will. And...you can wear that and, you know, maybe we can pretend that the world remembers.”

Mal slipped the musket ball into his pocket and carefully affixed the pin to the front of his jacket.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I'll wear it with pride.”

Then he turned away from the water and blew out a long and purely theatrical breath. “Well, that was a heavy conversation. Want to go misuse our supernatural powers to get a really good fireworks-watching spot?”

Siobhan grinned. “I thought you'd never ask.”

[mrbronzeskull]

Lmao answer them all and good luck ;)

I’m reblogging this, sans readmore, as it was brought to my attention that for at least one person, everything under that just didn’t show up. I humbly beg forgiveness for putting such a huge chunk of text on everyones dash.Spacey, you cheeky sod. I swear this is like the second time you’ve done this. (I both love and hate you for it) Here we fucking go: THIS TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO DO 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I don’t exactly get physical with folks so I have to assume it was my ex, several months ago.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy, Bi and ready to die3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?@gpumidnazora​, some day.4. Are you easy to get along with?I guess so? Not very argumentative, very quiet, tell bad jokes.5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I’d like to think so.6. What kind of people are you attracted to?All of them. More feminine aligned folks usually but super masc folks and androgynous peeps have totally taken my breath away too. Less general note, nerdy folk who I can obsess over something with. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?I mean, I’m in one now and while it does have a massive issue because of distance, I’d like to think we can tough it out.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My girlfriend.9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?A little, I get flustered easily if im not super close with folks.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Fuck, uh, myself? I often have super deep conversations that I should probably talk to a therapist or someone about just aloud to myself. But if that isnt an acceptable answer, @gpumidnazora​ takes the cake.11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“Oh hell, I thought I said hi when I got home and was all like ‘huh, she hasn’t replied, guess she’s already asleep” after I goofed up on letting my gf know I got home on time.12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?OH! I got one from just this morning! Let’s Face It I’m Cute by 11 Acorn Lane.Aside from that I’ve been all nostalgic lately so Mr Brightside by The KillersTeenage Dirtbag by WheatusGoodbye Stranger by SupertrampEverytime We Touch by Cascada13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes. Please do. I’m a big sucker for this. Or any physical affection really. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Miracles not so much but its real hard to not think of things as lucky or unlucky for me15. What good thing happened this summer?I got plenty of hours at work! 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope. No. Nuh. There’s two girls it might be and neither of those would be a good choice.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I mean, it’s literally either that or we are completely alone in the entire universe. Which seems far more terrifying to me. So yeah. But I’m always thinking like microbial or basic life, rather than you know, aliens replete with UFOs and such.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Nah, havent talked to her in years.19. Do you like bubble baths?I almost always shower, too big for the bath really.20. Do you like your neighbors?Fuck dude I dont even know my neighbours21. What are you bad habits?God, what isnt? Nail biting, snacking, bad sleep schedule, shower delays, then too long in the shower, generally messy22. Where would you like to travel?Canada, Tokyo, America, Brazil, Europe, New Zealand. Anywhere with snow23. Do you have trust issues?Yes? I’m not all that open. Until I am and it’s like BAM HERE’S MY ENTIRE LIFE STORY which is too much typically.24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Jerkin’ it just soooo right. Kidding. Mostly. Anytime cuddling my cat while catching up on Youtube videos is great.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My back. just all of that. Beats out the chewed nails and the flab and the face any time.26. What do you do when you wake up?Regret27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Darker. But I’m such a shut in so that aint happening. Least it looks alright next to my paper white sister28. Who are you most comfortable around?Myself. Or my good friend Emily Mac, the @keepingitreluctant​ that you all know and love29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?One, and boy that was a fucking nightmare of a time.30. Do you ever want to get married?Not really? I mean, tax benefits are nice but I don’t care for it much.31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Nah, or at least it’s the shittiest ponytail ever, though my hair is the longest it’s probably ever been.32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?I’d take a spin with pretty much anyone because dang most of them are hella good looking plus all that money you could earn through scandalous details afterwards. 33. Spell your name with your chin.zxzbnldyu. Perfect, nailed it. Funnily enough it’s pronounced ‘Ashley’34. Do you play sports? What sports?I played, emphasis on the ‘ed’, soccer (football) and tennis and fencing!35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV, easy. I listen to music way more than I watch TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Who hasn’t? Though I have an awful habit of fallin in love with folks when I see them if they catch my eye. All the time. Everyone just looks so dang good and cute.37. What do you say during awkward silences?I’m more of a creator of awkward silences than an ender. Yay for being bad at simple conversation.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Aw jeez. I mean I’m tempted to earn brownie points by just describing my lovely girlfriend. But if I had to draw up an ideal, I guess just a real sweet cutie who’s down for cuddling and playing games, preferably nice and short, all adorable and fun sized! Short hair is a plus.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?I don’t shop often. So I guess Robinsons bookshop, EB games and Zing? is that the name of that store filled with ‘nerdy’ junk that’s like partnered with EB?40. What do you want to do after high school?Fuck man I went through high school not knowing and I still have no idea41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I give so many second chances. Multiple.  But it does depend on the action. If you hurt me, no matter how much or how often, I’ll let it slide (possibly because I have 0 self respect) but if you fuck with my mates or are just a despicable person in general I will only give you a couple chances.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m almost always pretty quiet. but if i go silent mid conversation it probably means I’m trying to turn something that just got said into a really lame dad joke.43. Do you smile at strangers?yes and no. If I’m interacting with them or like they pass by and its only the two of us I’ll happily put on a (hopefully not creepy) smile but I won’t have a smile plastered on my face walking through a crowd.44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space. Definitely. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?At the moment, the need to get to work46. What are you paranoid about?People finding out about the murders This and that, usual dark secrets.47. Have you ever been high?Yup and it was eh, I laughed at all sorts of junk but I got serious cottonmouth and had all sorts of gaps in my memory, even worse than normal which was scary.48. Have you ever been drunk?Plenty of times and I think I’m probably 50/50 on if i threw up or not.49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Recently? I did get Maccas for dinner and pretend that I wasnt hungry when I got home after a rough day at workLess recently I fucked up in a life changing way that no one else knows of and I don’t know what to do about that.50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Black51. Ever wished you were someone else?Again, who hasn’t? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Add a couple zeros to the end of my bank balance would be nice. But physically? Clean up my fucking back. 53. Favourite makeup brand?Afraid I really don’t know anything about any of them enough to make a judgement call. 54. Favourite store?Zing (im sticking with that name, fuck it) is fun to just chill in55. Favourite blog?God so many, you are all too great!56. Favourite colour?Turquoise 57. Favourite food?A good steak is hard to turn down58. Last thing you ate?Rice and mince.59. First thing you ate this morning?A caramel Up&Go to wash down some pills.60. Ever won a competition? For what?I’m more of a second place kinda person. Or was. It’s all been going downhill for a while in academic or sporting respect.61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?I almost got suspended/expelled after a particularly nasty and widespread tidbit rumour went around about me.62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.63. Ever been in love?I think so. I’m the kinda guy to say it pretty early. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Uh, I took my girlfriend of the time out to a roller skating rink, I couldn’t skate for shit and I couldnt look her in the eyes without turning away and blushing. Let alone hold a conversation. But afterwards she was kind enough to deign to grant me a kiss in the parking lot.65. Are you hungry right now?Nope, I’m good.66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I talk to you guys just as much as them nowadays. But I would say I’m closer to them than anyone on tumblr, no offense. 67. Facebook or Twitter?Uh I have both but don’t use them.68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr hands down, this is like my only social network platform69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope70. Names of your bestfriends?Emma, Emily, Hayley, Imogen, Lucinda, Ebony71. Craving something? What?Getting intimate with a guy, just accepting my bisexuality recently has kinda kicked that into overdrive. And now I’m blushin.72. What colour are your towels?We’ve got white, black and turquoise72. How many pillows do you sleep with?One73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Not in about 10 years.74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?I wouldnt have a clue how many stuffed animals from when I was younger are still tucked away in the house75. Favourite animal?Meerkat.76. What colour is your underwear?Black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?probably vanilla79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Black80. What colour pants?No pants!81. Favourite tv show?Brooklyn Nine Nine or Bojack Horseman82. Favourite movie?Iron Giant? Road to El Dorado? Spaceballs? Something nostalgic83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?There’s a second?84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Uh, fuck I dont remember the names. The lovely lesbian lass. She was great.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Bruce.87. First person you talked to today?My girlfriend88. Last person you talked to today?Verballly, my mum, text wise, my girlfriend89. Name a person you hate?Donald Motherfuckign Trump, I mean hating trump is as common as breathing air as it should be but man he’s such a fucking disgusting cunt.90. Name a person you love?My parents.91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?God I have spent many an hour dreaming of socking Trump right in that bullshit spewing mouth92. In a fight with someone?Not currently. Or at least, the feud is still open and so old it isn’t a fight anymore.93. How many sweatpants do you have?Two?94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Two?95. Last movie you watched?Moana 96. Favourite actress?Ellen Page is up there for sure97. Favourite actor?Chris Pratt98. Do you tan a lot?Ha, most of my body isnt aware what the sun is99. Have any pets?Boy do I. 2 cats and 5 dogs. 10 chooks.100. How are you feeling?A tad tired.101. Do you type fast?Pretty average 102. Do you regret anything from your past?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA My memory is a whole lot of regrets floating in a void of forgotten moments.103. Can you spell well?W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past?A past best friend of mine.105. Ever been to a bonfire party?I’ve hosted a couple and been invited to one106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I doubt it. Not exactly the type. (devastatingly good looking and/or callous)107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yup, wasn’t the thing for me108. What should you be doing?Sleeping?109. Is something irritating you right now?Well I’m now being inundated by regretful thoughts so that’s a bother.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Nah. 111. Do you have trust issues?I feel like this was already asked. But yeah, I would say so.112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I haven’t cried in literal years. I don’t have a clue.113. What was your childhood nickname?It’s always just been Ash114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup, I’ve been all over the place115. Do you play the Wii?I have, but its been a hot minute116. Are you listening to music right now?Yeah, I had Let’s Face It I’m Cute up for the link and it just played a whole bunch of electroswing music on youtube, now on The Noisy Freaks by Freak Orchestra at least I think thats the name and band, I’ve never heard it before117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?sure118. Do you like Chinese food?Probably not my favorite, but it’s nice119. Favourite book?Too many man, way too many. 120. Are you afraid of the dark?Not really.121. Are you mean?I don’t think so. I’m a weak willed pushover and generally benign and quiet122. Is cheating ever okay?Ugh, it’s not exactly commendable but like anything, it’s all circumstance123. Can you keep white shoes clean?I have white runners, which remain clean by the virtue of me never exercising.124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Not actually, but like i said before I get infatuated on sight all the time.125. Do you believe in true love?Not really.126. Are you currently bored?Buddy, my existence is being bored.127. What makes you happy?my pets.128. Would you change your name?I wanted to change my name to Seth when I was younger after years of “ashley is a girls name’ 129. What your zodiac sign?L1BR4130. Do you like subway?Yeah. it’s normally pretty tasty.131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I mean, I’m currently dating and so is she so that would be a mess, but I doubt much would come of it.132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Ok im 90000% sure this was already asked.133. Favourite lyrics right now?“No matter what I conjure it could not help me deflect/ The angry death, of every hopeful thought/ that I might be a lover or a fighter…”134. Can you count to one million?I suppose I could. Like I have the capacity. But I’d get bored and give the fuck up without good reason to do so135. Dumbest lie you ever told?fuck me, I lie, alot, it’s my go to defense. Which is bad. but whatever. Probably the one where I skipped tennis training and claimed that I was going to extra french lessons instead, which was immediately called out by the French teacher.136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed. keep the cat in and the dogs out137. How tall are you?175 ish cms, which is 5′10″ i think138. Curly or Straight hair?Straight, despite threats of it getting curly should  I let it get longer than a college cut.139. Brunette or Blonde?Wait is this asking preferences. fuck. Uh, Brunette? I’m not fussed by hair colour. though I’d probably avoid redheads just because my mum and one sister are redheads 140. Summer or Winter?WINTER141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?October? it’s got my birthday!143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk145. Tea or Coffee?meh, not fussed either way146. Was today a good day?sure! I got to start work 2/3 hours later than normal after a fucking killer three days.147. Mars or Snickers?Mars? I dont eat a lot of either148. What’s your favourite quote?I dont really have one off-hand149. Do you believe in ghosts?not really.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Captain Thomas Kelly, from the forty-sixth Precinct, said; ‘It looks accidental. Grant may have suspected that his familiarity with Damien place him above danger, but a hungry python does not quibble about such niceties’”I know its more than a line, but that’s a hilarious quote.