#i though 'oh i want to write about the disney renaissance cause that will be popular'

[cozycryptidcorner]

Chapter One

Sweat glues your hair against your forehead, droplets running down your temples and down onto your shirt. Your arms protest against the pressure as you lift a rather heavy vase, one painted in tiny, intricate blue details, and stand on the very tips of your toes to push it on top of an old oak cabinet without running the risk of chipping the base. You let out a little wheeze once you manage to wiggle it right into place, taking a moment to crack your knuckles to release some tension, then step back to take one last look to make sure it appears fine. Satisfied, you turn around as your phone begins to chirp, the screen announcing the caller as one of your few employees.

You pick it up, hitting the accept call button and lifting the phone to your ear. “What’s up, Jill?”

“Just giving you an update, boss,” the child-like voice offers, though the owner is well into her late twenties, “the equipment arrived at the next location, Boomer and the others are about to start gutting the kitchen.”

“Sounds good,” you say, clicking the pen lying on a nearby table to help you focus. You try to bring up your memory of the room, having visited for a full day before heading back to the current job at hand, trying to picture just what you plan on doing with it once you get there. “Don’t forget that I want the exposed brick to stay put. The owner said she liked ‘rustic,’ so that’s what we’re going to give her.”

“Yes, ma’am,” there’s not too much respect in the voice, more like Jillian is poking fun at your authoritative stance. “Anything else? Getting lonely?”

You let out a loud snort. “Not yet, can’t say I miss Boomer’s constant arguments with Steph and Jack.”

“Okay, Lemme know if you need any help, I could use a break from the bickering too.”

“Will do, talk to you later.”

The castle isn’t the worst place you’ve had to turn into a liveable space, but it’s not without its challenges, that’s for sure. A crew of people from the local electric plant has had to wire up the entire place, a septic system had to be installed, oh, and also pipes for running water had to be dug. Working around people all trying to do their own jobs without any attempts to stay out of each other’s way has tested your patience to the very most thinnest line you didn’t even know you could take, but at least it’s over.

Your speakers blare music loud enough to be heard on the other end of the castle as you hold out strips of sample colors from the nearest hardware store, comparing and contrasting the two until you come up with a couple of possibilities for the room. The sun shines in through the freshly bought glass panes, warming the room to a comfortable temperature without the need to turn on the newly installed heating system. Carefully and thoroughly, you write down the exact serial numbers of the colors you’re deciding on, and tuck the notebook in your back pocket. You’ll head over to the hardware store tomorrow, but for now, you’re probably good to prime the walls.

The castle isn’t gigantic, it’s not like the kind you’d see in Disney movies that can seemingly house an entire city within its walls, but it’s definitely mansion-sized. A couple dozen rooms, enough to make a decently sized inn, which is exactly the plan you’re running with under the instruction of the castle’s new owner. Oh, speaking of which, they’re visiting the day after tomorrow, so you better have a good report to give to them. You open up one of the cans of primer, the scent of artificial wrongness causing your eyes to water, but you continue working like you aren’t in danger of choking on some wack fumes.

The first layer doesn’t take too much work, the roller sponge reaching all those tough places on the ceiling you wouldn’t manage to get to without the tall ass handle. Your people did a decent job making sure the plaster on the walls is smooth as silk when they painted the stuff on, so you don’t have to sand anything down before the second layer. Since this is supposed to be the ‘renaissance room,’ you’re stuck painting frescos on the walls like the many geniuses did a few millennia ago, and hoo boy do you have your work cut out. The owner seems fine with the outrageous price you named when you heard what they wanted, but a part of you regrets making such a time-consuming decision.

You have a couple of sketches on hand, pre-approved by the person in question, but still, you tap a bit of willow charcoal against the side of the paper as you try to come up with some different options that might be a little more fun for you to paint. But you need to stretch- and get some fresh air before you start feeling lightheaded from the primer fumes. Still trying to filter some sort of decent idea through your head, you wander through the halls, marveling at how your people managed to string up some modern chandeliers in the short amount of time they had. There’s a rather large and curving staircase that connects the first and second floors, one that you just had to keep in all its glory, though now it’s polished within an inch of its life.

There are several exits you can use, but you decide on the one that spits you right out into the garden, which is pretty darn dead for the most part. You know that an army of landscapers is coming to start planting things sometime in the near future. Still, you neither know what company it is or when they will be here, so you untangle the sweater from around your waist and somehow get it on without having to put your sketchbook and charcoal down. There’s a large fountain that hasn’t seen water in probably a hundred or so years, dead leaves collecting in its nooks and crannies, but at the center of the empty pool is a rather incredible statue.

It’s up on a pedestal, body in a suave contrapposto pose. The hair is carved in a mop of unbelievably gorgeous curls, you can almost imagine yourself running your fingers through it despite knowing very well that all you’ll feel is solid rock. Its face is a perfect example of what’ bedroom eyes’ means, its gaze staring directly towards an invisible partner, mouth in a sultry, inviting smile. Whoever carved it, though, definitely outdid themselves with the butt because good god the careful balance between curve and firmness is extraordinarily executed. The thighs, too, look like they could crush a melon between them, but there’s just something about the butt that always makes you stop for a minute to admire it in all its glory, no matter what you’re doing at the moment. Jillian’s mocked you a few times for ogling it perhaps a little too intently, but you know what?

You get your phone out, already formulating a dumb little stunt to put on your Instagram page. Oh, Jillian is the only one on your crew who is going to think it’s hilarious, but maybe your followers will also find it funny. Cautiously, you step over the wall of the fountain, avoiding the pipes that at one time pumped water into the knee-deep pool, and then take a moment to look over the inscription at the statue’s base. It strikes you as rather odd, mainly because you would think that a plaque would instead belong on the outside wall of the fountain, rather than right at the feet of the statue. It’s in ancient greek, or at least, that’s what the owner of the property told you when you asked some time before.

Trying your best not to use the statue’s available limbs for balance, you step up onto the pedestal, getting rather cozy with those lovingly carved abs. You have to stand on the tips of your toes to get your mouth anywhere near his, and yes, up close, those lips look even more inviting than usual. After a moment of fiddling with your phone’s camera filters and trying to find a good angle to show off your jawline and chin, you press your mouth up against the statues, glancing up only briefly to make sure the camera’s got everything. Then you close your eyes and pretend like this is the most magical moment you’ve ever experienced, finger clicking the shutter button. You take a moment to look over what you’ve got, your arm still around the statue’s neck, biting your lip as you pick which one is going to go online.

It doesn’t take you long to pick out two or three. The angle and lighting in those are a bit off from the others, not in a bad way, though, but it kind of almost looks like the statue isn’t just the recipient of the kiss. Actually, now that you really look at it… the shadows make it look almost like it’s leaning into your mouth, which you suppose is going to sell the picture even more. Neat. You hop off the pedestal and step over the wall of the fountain. Enough break time, you decide, picking up your sketchbook where you mindlessly tossed it, and head back into the castle.

You didn’t have any wild inspirations while you were making out with the stone, so you decide instead to start working on something that doesn’t take as much brain juice as, say, designing an original fresco that’s supposed to rival Raphael’s Philosophy. At the moment, you’re probably better off painting the freshly stripped and primed walls of the library, something that doesn’t require intricate thought. The paints for the library have already been purchased and delivered, courtesy of Steph, so buckets of baby blue wait for you on the protective layer of plastic taped to the floor. Turning on some loud music, you begin, stirring up one of the paint buckets and pouring some into a container long enough for the roller brushes.

Throwing yourself into the work is easy, so long as you try to keep yourself entertained. After the music loses your interest, you take a quick break, flipping through podcasts while sipping water. Wiping some sweat from your face, you happen to look through the window and into the garden to see that... Wait- the statue- the statue is missing? You frantically walk over to the glass and look out, your heated breath fogging your view. Your first impression is correct; the statue isn’t on the pedestal, which is fucking impossible? That thing has to weigh almost a ton, it’s a slab of rock, no one can just walk away with it.

You’re outside before you can even register the shock of your feet hitting the cobblestone of the path, your lungs wheezing from the sudden strain of exercise and nerves. There’s no fucking way you lost a whole ass statue after being alone for just three days, but, oh, that’s precisely the kind of stuff you would expect to happen to you. Of course your dumb ass would somehow lose the most valuable thing on this property, oh, god, you’re going to be so fired. This is going to destroy your company’s reputation, you’re never going to be able to get another job again and then you’ll have to dissolve it all once the owner decides to sue and you’ll never be able to so much as breathe in the direction of interior design again-

“Fuck!” You shout, kicking uselessly at the pavement. It’s gone. The whole thing’s fucking up and gone, and you’re doomed.

“What’s wrong?” A new voice says, too close to your body for your liking, so you do what anyone else in your position might and punch the source of the sound on reflex, letting out a loud shriek.

Instead of some rando’s face, you end up striking something stone-like as hard as you can muster, your knuckles exploding with a rush of pain. Your muscles twitch, and then you can’t feel anything but a heated throb pulsing through your fingers, but you don’t pay any attention to your ruined hand. Rather, you’re eyes are glued to the quite literal stony features of a man’s face, a face that would be on kissing level if you stood on the very tips of your toes.

“No,” you say, because, between the pain and the shock, you can’t think of anything else that would entirely summarize what you’re feeling at the moment.

Its smile is radiant despite the fact you had just struck it with the intent to knock a couple of teeth out, eyes somehow wild with an emotion you can’t place, and then it sets a well-sculpted hand on the side of your face. A split second later, you realize that it is leaning forward with the intent to kiss you again, so you do what anyone else might do in the moment.

“No,” you yelp, placing a hand on his mouth, and then repeat, “no.”

Confusion settles on his features, his brows furrowing, his mouth still in an inviting curve. “What’s wrong?”

Oh, dear god. Its voice... is like it was made for sex, melodic, soft, yet also firm. There’s a singer that you love to turn on and kick back in relaxation, the lyrics smooth and accented, running over you like a gentle stream of water, and that’s the only way you can think to describe the way that- that statue speaks, without sounding like an insane person. In fact, you’re so focused on trying to place which foreign singer that he sounds like that you forget that your hand is still firmly on his mouth, pushing his face away.

“I’m going to get fired.” That’s all you can think about. The owner of the property is going to take one look at the living, breathing statue and have a goddamn conniption.

“There is no need to fret, darling-”

“No need to fret?” You’re about to start screaming. “This is supposed to make my fucking career, and now the most priceless part of the fucking property somehow gained sentience is, um, walking around? I’m going to get scalped, no one else is going to hire me-”

“I have naught an idea of what you speak of,” it brushes some baby hairs away from your sweaty forehead, “but all shall be well, so long as you stay with me.”

You’re choking on the air because your body doesn’t know what else to do with itself. Still, somehow, you manage to pull yourself from its arms, needing a moment to breathe in an environment that didn’t involve something trying insistently to make out with you. Deep, deep breath, you coach yourself, dusting your sweaty hands on the front of your shirt, remembering suddenly that you might have accidentally fractured a couple of fingers when a sharp pain runs up the length of your forearm. “Shit.”

“Would-”

“Stop talking!” You need to think, and you need to tend to the already swelling knuckles on your hand. Hopefully, you won’t need a trip to the hospital. Angrily, you pace, two steps to the side, then three steps back, looking at the pedestal, then at the statue, and finally on the castle. “Fuck, just- just follow me, I guess.”

You storm back into the common room, frantically looking for wherever the hell the first aid kit ended up getting stashed. It’s not with the paperwork or folders keeping track of the tabs you’re racking up at the local hardware store, so you run over into the kitchen where the brand new industrial stoves and ovens are and start rifling through the cabinets until you finally find the white tin box. The statue follows you, thankfully, because you aren’t about to allow a potentially million-dollar statue to start wandering the cliffside without adult supervision.

After a minute of fiddling the sides of the locks with one hand, the statue makes a reach for the box just as you manage to open it. Quickly, you shoot it a chilling glare and pull the medical supplies closer, rifling through the contents until you find something for the spots on your fingers where the skin broke open. Okay, yes, it’s a little awkward to be doing this all with one hand, but you’re not going to let that… thing anywhere near you, much less your bloodied hand. Speaking of which, despite the substantial damage done to you, the statue doesn’t seem at all bothered by the strike which would have at least knocked an average person off their rhythm, but…

You reach over and take his jaw into your good hand, moving his head to the side to check for any damage. The stone is still in place, not a single chip flew off, which might be expected because this thing is a fucking rock. Though even now, a part of you wants to believe that this is some kind of ridiculously elaborate prank the owner is pulling for a publicity stunt, and this is a man in really convincing makeup. To call attention to the inn, you know, get some national headlines. Pull in more customers. Haha, look, it’s the stupidly handsome statue that scared the everloving shit out of the poor contractor. But if this were a man, there would be swelling puffing out that ridiculously beautiful jawline because you hit hard.

Angry that you aren’t able to come to the conclusion you want, you let go, returning back to sloppily wrap your wounded hand in some gauze and tape. Tea, you need some goddamn tea, you think, rummaging through the sparse pantry full of some random items you bought while in town, after all, you can’t get takeout for every meal three months straight. Not unless you want to take your bank account to a back alley and shoot it like a diseased dog. Urgh, finally, something relatively strong that might help cool your nerves down a notch or two.

“Do you… like, drink or anything?” You ask as an afterthought, filling a kettle with water from the sink.

“I don’t know.” He regards the kettle with curiosity, eyes following your movement with close precision.

“You don’t know,” you say in your best imitation of someone who is just positively stoked. “Awesome.”

“I have a rather interesting feeling that this is an unexpected happening,” the statue posits, placing its arms on the counter, an action that sends a shot of panic through your chest.

“Get off the granite, get off-” you half push, half lift him away, bending over and running your fingers over the countertop to look for scratches. A bit of relief breaks off into your chest, and then another, once you find no damage to speak of. Angrily, you wave your hands in the direction of a small, nondescript wooden table that’s already stained and pummeled within an inch of its life. “Just…. Take a seat over there, m’kay?”

The statue, thankfully, seems fine with listening to you, moving over to the bench and sitting while you find two mugs to use. There are dishes, at least, which wasn’t the case when your crew first started working on this project, but it’s nice to not have to eat out of styrofoam to-go boxes and drink out of travel tumblers anymore. The statue watches you intently while you work, eyes following every movement like you might offer up the secret to the universe in passing, and as the kettle shrieks, you decide that you’re just about over <em<that. You don’t care to give him any tea options, so you toss halfheartedly bag into both mugs after filling them with near-boiling water.

You set the cup in front of him, your teeth gritted, as you try to wrack your brain for where to start with your questioning because you have thousands of them rattling around in your head. After a moment, though, you decide to start with something easy. “Do you have a name?”

“I don’t know,” he says, too cheerfully for you to deal with.

“Where do you come from?” You try again.

His eyes grow distant for a moment, then suddenly snap back to reality. “I don’t know.”

You let out a frustrated breath. “Is there anything you do know?”

“I do know that you’re the one who brought me here,” he says, looking at you once more like you’re… like you’re a god or something.

“No I didn’t,” you say, as bluntly as you can muster, letting out a dry laugh.

He doesn’t say anything in response, only offers you a sly smile, tapping on his lips with two fingers.

You catch on immediately, a thrill of panic running down your spine. “No.”

His smile widens, and he nods. “Yes.”

“I did not-”

“You did.” He reaches over and gently takes your injured hand, looking over the hasty bindings with interest. “A kiss of someone with love in their heart. That’s what I know.”

You want to throw up. “I don’t- like I’m sure you’re a decent statue person, but I don’t-”

“Love me?” He finishes innocently. “Perhaps not now, but I’m sure you will be… convinced.”

You gently take back your hand, all the nerves in your body running on overdrive, and oh boy, if you weren’t sweating before, you’re sweating now. “The only thing I want to be convinced of right now is that you aren’t going to get in the way of me and my job.” 

 “What would that be?”

“Making this into an acceptable place to live or whatever,” you take a shaky sip of tea, “and the thing about that is that you’re supposed to be the main attraction.”

To your dismay, he seems absolutely thrilled by that statement. “Am I that handsome that people flock from neighboring villages to see me?”

”No, you fucking-” you take a deep, shaking breath to try calming yourself down before you finish that sentence, and start again. “No. You’re a prized relic. The guy who owned the property before the current one was an art collector, and you are kind of a big deal. Um,” you tap your fingers against the table as you try to recall what the new owner said, “you’re one of the oldest statues that have been pulled from Greek ruins,intact, so that’s kind of a big deal.”

That seems to catch his attention. “Greek… ruins?”

“A temple or something, I don’t really remember, she mentioned in it passing.” You cover your face with your hands, trying to get your fucking shit together before a full-blown meltdown happens. “There was an art historian who estimated your value to be in the millions. If the owner stops by and sees that her block of gold is no longer where it’s supposed to be, she’s going to assume theft. And do you know who the only person with unmonitored access to the entire property is? Do you know who is going to get blamed?”

“So tell her of this miracle.” He reaches over and covers your hands, gently peeling them back from your face. God, that smile is awful, mostly because it’s flawless and makes your insides want to melt. “Surely, she will understand that this love is a gift from the gods themselves.”

You don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“It will,” he promises, “surely anyone, even those with the heads of asses, will see that a miracle is present.” He’s about to say even more, you can tell by the way he tilts his head and takes a breath, but then your phone rings.

You wriggle out of his grasp and pull it out of your pocket. Oh, good god, speak of the devil. How the hell are you supposed to explain this? Can you even try? Should you? You swallow thickly, your good hand shaking as you hit the button to receive the call. Holding up your hand in the universal gesture for shut the fuck up, you answer, praying your voice doesn’t sound like sandpaper. “Hello, Marge! How’re things going?”

[justamessyreader-blog]

So I hadn’t written anything in months, but my attempts to process my feelings on If We Were Villains resulted in my writing this weird and short one shot where previous Dellecher students find out about That Whole Mess(TM) and speculate about what happened. I don’t know.

Read on AO3

It’s the 26th of April 1999 when Lin, Andrew, Thomas, and Grace all sit down in a tiny coffee shop in New York city. It’s the first time they are all together in what, two years? After they’d all been cut out from Dellecher at the end of their second year, they’d kept on seeing each other fairly often at first, but as life went on and they all slowly started to find ways to keep going, with or without theatre, their meetings had become more and more sparse. Now, almost four years after their expulsion from Dellecher, Lin sits near the window with a cup of tea in her hand, watching Thomas across from her and wondering how their lives would have been different if they’d just made that cut. Grace and Andrew make their way over to the table, Grace quiet as always, Andrew’s eyes sparkling with excitement.

“You won’t believe what I found out last year,” he says, as he puts down his cup and takes a seat next to Lin.

“I’m sure you’re about to tell us,” Lin remarks before turning towards him, resting her face on her hand.

“I mean, this is old news. So like, you might know already.” Andrew back-pedals. He used to do the same thing when they were at Dellecher: volunteer for a scene, confident he would do fine, and then suddenly crumble under the weight of his audience’s expectations. If Lin had to pinpoint the reason why he didn’t make it to third year, it would be self-doubt.

“Just tell us, Andy.” Grace cuts in, raising her eyebrows at him. She’s still as regal as she was then, all sharp edges and focused gaze. She’s an English teacher now, and Lin really doesn’t wish to be in her students’ place.

Like compelled by an unstoppable force, Andrew swallows, and eventually says, “You remember that super clique-y group? Those seven who were always hanging out together?”

Lin has a vague idea of what Andrew is talking about. The hot red-head, and the tall guy, and the Disney Prince, and their other friends. Yeah, Lin remembers well enough, so she nods. Who knows what happened to them.

“They ended up killing each other,” Andrew continues, eyes wide, and okay, that wasn’t the answer that Lin was expecting. “Two years ago, during their last year.”

“Shit, do you mean that guy finally snapped?” Thomas asks, looking half amused and half horrified. “What was his name, Dick?”

“I think you mean Richard?” Grace contributes.

Lin remembers him well enough. Tall, dark, and lowkey terrifying. “Well, he was a real dick, though.” She says.

“No, that’s the thing. He’s the guy who got killed,” Andrew continues. He’s making small, contained gestures with his hands, that still betray his excitement.

“Oh, my money is on the redhead. I bet she killed him.” Thomas says.

Andrew shakes his head a second time. “No, no. You will never believe who it was.”

“Who?” Grace says. She’s doing her thing again.

Andrew looks at all of them, then says, dramatically, “Oliver Marks.”

“Who?” Grace repeats, this time more confused than compelling.

Lin is also at a loss. It’s not that the name Oliver Marks doesn’t ring any bells, it’s just that she really can’t quite place him. Oliver Marks, she thinks, trying to remember anything about the guy.

“No joke, I almost couldn’t remember who it was at first. Skinny, dark hair…” Andrew starts.

“Oh, wait, I remember him now.” Grace cuts him off. “He made it to fourth year? Yeah, I’m not surprised there was murder involved.”

Grace has always been quiet and attentive, but most importantly, well, savage. It was one of the reasons why Lin had spent most of their first year harbouring a painfully embarrassing crush on her, and she can still see how a comment like that would have made her heart flutter four years earlier. Now, as Lin thinks of Kelsey waiting for her at home, it just makes her laugh. Which is horrific, by the way. You don’t laugh about murder.

“I still don’t know who you’re talking about,” she says, raising an eyebrow at Grace.

“That one guy…” Grace says, furrowing her brow in concentration. “James Farrow’s sidekick, you know?”

And okay, Lin wonders what she’d been doing at Dellecher, because James Farrow doesn’t sound particularly familiar either.

Noticing her confused expression, Thomas bursts in with, “Oh, come on, you must remember James Farrow.” Lin’s face must remain blank, because he continues, “Blond? Beautiful? A literal Disney Prince?”

And maybe it’s Thomas’s dreamy eyes, or the epithet literal Disney Prince, because Lin finally associates a face to the name. And if she focuses a little…

A memory finally emerges in her mind: a sunny day, towards the end of their second year, when a bunch of theatre students had taken advantage of the wonderful weather to study at the lake, spending more time laying at the grass and studying the occasional cloud than looking at their books. Lin had been sitting with Grace and Andrew, while Thomas had disappeared with whoever his current boyfriend was. She remembered Richard, sitting with the attractive redhead – Meredith, Meredith was her name – and playing with a strand of her hair while her, with her head in his lap, read out loud from whatever book of critical theory they’d been assigned. They’d just started dating, then. Other students threw sideway glances at them, wishing for the most beautiful girl in their year to read out loud to them, instead. And on the dock, sitting with one leg pulled up and the other tucked under him, his blond hair gleaming in the sunlight and making him look like a renaissance painting, was James Farrow, the dream of almost every girl and at least half of the boys at Dellecher. He was meticulously running through his notes, trying to ignore the awed glances that almost every single student couldn’t help but throw at him. Every once in a while he looked up, just to say something to someone sitting in front of him, with a half-smile on his face. And there, responding to or perhaps causing Farrow’s smile, Lin sees Oliver Marks, taller than James and yet somehow smaller. She remembers it clearly, the two of them basking in the sunlight, quietly studying their notes and each other, a perfect picture of friendship and devotion. Perhaps more, she’d thought then. Perhaps more, she thinks now.

The memory, so clear and peaceful, is disconcerting after Andrew’s words. Lin swallows. “Yeah, I remember them.” It’s all she says.

“I think I remember Marks too,” Thomas says. “He was cute.”

Grace rolls her eyes, and ignores him. “So what happened?” She asks Andrew.

“Well, they said Richard had gone kind of crazy after he didn’t get a part he wanted, and that it was self-defence.”

“That’s not that surprising,” Lin says, shrugging. She remembers Richard being temperamental, more than she remembers Marks being a potential murderer.

“But the thing is, Marks tried to hide it for months,” Andrew continues, “at first they thought Stiriling had just gotten drunk and fallen into the lake, and months later Marks confessed that he’d just, smashed his head in with a boat hook.”

“You said that this happened at the lake?” Lin asks, and Andrew nods. The memory comes back to her, Farrow and Marks sitting together on the dock, smiling at each other in the golden light. A moment of frozen perfection, so different from the tragedy that Andrew is talking about. Suddenly, Lin feels sick, and she downs a big gulp of tea, hoping that the warmth will unclench the tension in her chest. It doesn’t quite work.

“Fuck, Marks looked like such a chill guy. You don’t expect him to be the type of person who smashes someone’s head in.” Thomas says, looking down at his coffee.

“Some people think that maybe it wasn’t him,” Andrew says. “Apparently Marks was having an affair with Richard’s girlfriend, Meredith. And no one really knows what happened, so some people think Marks took the blame for her, or maybe for someone else. Rumour has it that when they arrested Marks, they’d planned to arrest someone else instead, and he just went out and confessed. It’s all real fishy, I tell you.”

“How do you know all this?” Grace asks. She’s talking to Andrew, but her gaze is fixed on Lin, perhaps having sensed her discomfort.

“I was writing a piece on theatre schools in America,” Andrew shrugs. Right, he writes theatre reviews now. “Thought I’d include Dellecher. I had no idea what happened, but my editor pulled up all our articles on the case when I showed her my draft. I spent an interesting afternoon.”

“I bet,” Thomas says. “Wow, that was dark. Does anyone know what happened to Farrow?”

Thomas used to have a crush on Farrow, Lin remembers. Which is understandable, it’s just that Lin was always too busy sneakily checking out Grace to even notice.

“There’s not much in the papers about him,” Andrew says with a shrug. “But it must have hit him hard, because he’s definitely not doing any work related to theatre, and we all know that he was too good of an actor to just fail.”

Thomas nods silently, before getting distracted by his phone. “It’s Matthew,” he says as an excuse before getting up to take the call. His boyfriend, the doctor who allows Thomas to still work in communal theatre without having to worry too much about money. It sounds bitchy, but Lin thinks that the truth is that, deep down, she’s a little jealous of Thomas.

“Well, ladies,” Andrew says, picking up his cup. From where she is, Lin can smell the strong aroma of black coffee. Strange, she thinks. Andrew only used to drink Latte. “After that cheerful note, why don’t you tell me how you guys have been doing?”

And after that, the conversation shifts, and Oliver Marks and Richard Stirling are forgotten.

***

It haunts Lin for days, and it’s stupid, because she barely knew them years ago. And yet. And yet she keeps thinking back to that day at the lake, and then about Richard Stirling floating in the cold waters, his head smashed in. Oliver Marks was a sweet boy, not with the potential of a lead actor, but with the kindness of a supporting characters. And Lin can’t see him hurting anyone. For a while, she considers showing up at the penitentiary, and shouting at Marks until he gives her the answers.

Instead, she settles on a letter. Just a few brief lines, explaining her confusion, and asking why. She doesn’t expect an answer.

***

Months later, Kelsey finds a brown envelope in the mail, and passes it to Lin, equally curious and confused. Lin only has to look at the first few lines to recognise the text inside: it’s a Shakespearean sonnet. And it’s signed, Oliver.

Lin reads through the lines again and again, memories of her days at Dellecher surfacing as she does. In the end, she doesn’t quite get what the sonnet is meant to answer. Perhaps, she thinks, she’s not supposed to.

 No more be grieved at that which thou hast done.

Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud;

Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,

And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.

All men make faults, and even I in this,

Authórizing thy trespass with compare,

Myself corrupting, salving thy amiss,

Excusing these sins more than these sins are.

For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense—

Thy adverse party is thy advocate—

And 'gainst myself a lawful plea commence.

Such civil war is in my love and hate

That I an áccessory needs must be

To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me.

Sonnet is Sonnet 35, and I apologise for whatever the hell this was.

[placetobenation]

Mulan

Release Date: June 19th, 1998

Inspiration: The legend of Hua Mulan

Budget: $90 million

Domestic Gross: $120.6 million

Worldwide Gross: $304.3 million

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%

IMDB Score: 7.6/10

Storyline (per IMDB): This retelling of the old Chinese folktale is about the story of a young Chinese maiden who learns that her weakened and lame father is to be called up into the army in order to fight the invading Huns. Knowing that he would never survive the rigours of war in his state, she decides to disguise herself and join in his place. Unknown to her, her ancestors are aware of this and to prevent it, they order a tiny disgraced dragon, Mushu to join her in order to force her to abandon her plan. He agrees, but when he meets Mulan, he learns that she cannot be dissuaded and so decides to help her in the perilous times ahead.

Pre-Watching Thoughts: We continue on through the 1990s with another film that was solid when it first came out and has since been seen as another very underrated film in the Disney canon. This is one of those films that I have always had an interest in seeing especially with the live action film about to come out at some point, and after the last few films have pleasantly surprised me I am hoping that this one does the same. The Disney Renaissance has been on quite the roll since the decade started and hopefully it ends up finishing on a strong note.

Voice Cast: As we continue on through the 1990s, we once again have a predominantly new cast for this film while we only have a handful of actors returning for this film. We begin with the returning actors as June Foray returns to voice Grandmother Fa in one of her last roles with Disney, and then we have Frank Welker who voices numerous characters like Cri-Kee and the horse Khan while we finally have Mary Kay Bergman who voices the various ancestors in her last Disney film appearance. Moving onto the new actors, we have Ming-Na Wan who voices Mulan in arguably her biggest film role, and we also have the return of Lea Salonga who provides the singing voice for Mulan. We then have legendary actor Eddie Murphy who voices Mushu the dragon though he would voice a more memorable character in a few years, and then we have BD Wong who voices General Li Shang with Donny Osmond providing the singing voice in a memorable role. Next, we have Miguel Ferrer who voices Shan Yu in one of his only voice acting roles and perhaps his most memorable, and then we have Mami Nixon who provides the singing voice for Grandmother Fa in one of the last roles of her career. We then have the trio of Harvey Fierstein, Gedde Watanabe, and Jerry Tondo who voice Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po respectively with Matthew Wilder providing the singing voice for Ling, and then we have James Hong who voices Chi-Fu as it was in the midst of the prime of his career. Next, we have Soon-Tek Oh who voices Fa Zhou as he was in the twilight of his career, and then we have the legendary Pat Morita who voices the Emperor though he will forever be remembered as Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. We then have George Takei who voices the main Ancestor though he is best remembered for being Mr. Sulu in Star Trek, and then we have Miriam Margolyes who voices the Matchmaker in a minor role. Next, we have Freda Foh Shen who voices Fa Li in one of her more memorable roles, and then we have James Shigeta who voices General Li in one of the last roles of his career and then we have Chris Sanders who voices Little Brother the dog as he also was involved in the writing of the screenplay. Finally, we have the pair of Rodger Bumpass and Richard Steven Horvitz who voice several additional characters that are uncredited, and it was wise that the majority of the cast was of Chinese descent and made things more authentic for the film.

Hero/Prince: This is pretty interesting in that the true hero of the film will be highlighted in a different category, but I feel we do have to talk about one of the other heroes in the film and that is Captain Li Shang. He is the son of General Li and assigned to train the new recruits to the arm which includes Mulan in disguise, and despite some early setbacks the recruits prove themselves to be capable of war. He is given a false order by Mushu posing as Li to follow the main army through the mountains, but they come upon a destroyed encampment and Shang learns that his father and the army have been massacred. The Huns ambush them in the mountains and Mulan causes an avalanche to bury them, and she also saves Shang from death though her cover is blown and Shang spares her life though expels her from the army. He arrives to the Imperial City though the Huns reveal they have survived and they capture the Emperor, and Shang teams up with Mulan and the other recruits as they rescue the Emperor and then Shang battles Shan Yu who nearly kills him until Mulan saves him. Mulan leads Shan Yu to his death and is honored by the Emperor though she returns home while the Emperor tells Shang she is special, and he follows her to her home under the pretext of returning her helmet and she invites him to stay for dinner. Shang is a typical young leader looking to stake his claim in the army while also making his father proud of him, and he becomes infatuated with Mulan though he is unaware she is a woman until after she is injured. He is disheartened by this coupled with the death of his father though she regains his trust when she helps him save the Emperor, and in the end he realizes that he has feelings for Mulan as he travels all the way to her home to see her again. While he won’t rank as high as the other heroes because he is not the main hero of the film, he is still a solid enough hero for the film.

Princess: As mentioned, the hero of the film actually belongs in this category which is ironic since she is also not officially a princess either, but she still plays the biggest role in the film and that is of course Fa Mulan. She is being prepared by her family to become a wife though she continuously fails due to her clumsiness and she believes to be a disgrace, and when she learns her father is to be drafted back into the army she takes his place to save him. She meets up with the new recruits under the name Ping and struggles at first with Captain Shang along with the other recruits, but she proves herself formidable and earns their trust. As the army heads through the mountains, they are ambushed by the Huns and a battle ensues as Mulan uses a rocket to cause an avalanche and bury the Huns, but she is attacked by Shan Yu who is buried as well and she saves Shang from falling off a cliff. While she is tended to, her real identity is revealed and Chi-Fu tells Shang that she must be executed per the law, but he declines because she saved his life though he does expel her from the army. She prepares to return home though realizes the Huns have survived and she heads to the Imperial City to warn everyone, but Shang refuses to believe her though she is proven right when Shan Yu and the Huns kidnap the Emperor. She works with Shang and the recruits to save the Emperor and Shan Yu recognizes her from the mountains, and he stalks her to the roof only for Mushu and Cri-Kee to create a giant rocket that sends Shan Yu into a tower of fireworks which kills him. Despite everything that has happened, the Emperor bestows upon her Shan Yu’s sword and the Emperor’s crest while offering her a position as an advisor, but she declines and returns home to her family though Shang follows her and she invites him to stay for dinner. Mulan is a unique princess in that she is not unlike women in that she means well and wants to bring honor to her family, she has trouble fitting in and is seen as an outcast even within her own family to the point that she sneaks into the army dressed as a man to save her father. She eventually becomes a trained warrior until her deception is revealed and she feels she let everyone down again, but she turns it around and helps save China from the Huns to the point that everyone bows to her in an unprecedented honor. Unlike the other princesses in the canon, she has proven herself to be brave, strong, and independent as she is the hero in the end, and it will be interesting to see how she ranks amongst the other princesses.

Villain: As I have mentioned, we have been on a really good run of some solid villains in the Disney canon and we will see if that trend continues here as we have the leader of the Huns in Shan Yu. He leads the Huns past the Great Wall of China and they begin their invasion of China, and they traverse the mountains and ambush General Li’s army as they massacre them and destroy the village they are staying in. Captain Shang leads his recruits through the mountains and the Huns ambush them though Mulan shoots off a rocket to cause an avalanche, and Shan Yu attacks them only to be buried under the snow along with the other Huns. They manage to survive the avalanche and reach the Imperial City where they capture the Emperor, but Mulan, Shang, and the recruits overcome the Huns and rescue the Emperor as Shang battles Shan Yu. He overpowers Shang until Mulan taunts him by reminding him that she was the one he attacked, and he chases her to the roof of the palace where she outsmarts him by taking his sword from him. She traps him on the roof while Mushu launches a rocket at him and he is shot into a tower of rockets which ultimately kills him. Shan Yu is about as generic of a villain as you can get as his lone goal is to lead the Huns in the conquest of China, and he is merciless and ruthless by having General Li’s entire army killed and a whole village destroyed. He feels that he is superior and threatens the kill the Emperor when he refuses to bow to him, but he is outsmarted by Mulan which leads to his defeat and death. While he is not quite as memorable as the villains from the Disney Renaissance, he is still a pretty solid villain though he probably won’t rank as high as some of the other villains.

Other Characters: Much like the last couple of films that we’ve had, we have a solid number of characters to fill out the film though once again only a handful of them are more important than others. Starting off the list of other characters, we have the dragon Mushu who is a disgraced guardian and he is tasked by the ancestors to awaken the stone dragon to protect Mulan, but he accidentally destroys it though he covers it up and seeks to protect Mulan himself. He does his best to help Mulan train and at one point creates a fake order to see her succeed, but he inadvertently leads them to the destroyed encampment where they find the main army has been killed. He stays by Mulan’s side even after she is expelled though he becomes disenfranchised and reveals his secret to Mulan, and then they head to the Imperial City where Mushu creates a rocket that sends Shan Yu into the tower of rockets. When Mulan returns to her home, he is restored as a guardian by the ancestors much to the First Ancestor’s chagrin. We then have the bug Cri-Kee who is believed to bring luck to the Fa Family and he stays by Mulan’s side throughout the whole journey, and then we have the recruits for the army led by Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po who are hostile to Mulan at first though they grow to respect her and they become friends. They assist Mulan by dressing up as concubines and taking out the Huns so they can save the Emperor and they remain friends with Mulan when she leaves, and then we have the Emperor’s advisor Chi-Fu who keeps record of Shang’s training of the recruits. After they discover that Mulan is a woman, he is insistent that she be executed per the law though Shang refuses and instead expels her, and after Shan Yu is killed he tries to confront Mulan only for the Emperor to offer her his position which causes him to faint though she declines. We then have Mulan’s family including her father Fa Zhou, her mother Fa Li, and her Grandmother Fa who try to make Mulan into what they want her to be, and when it is decreed that one man from each family must join the army Fa Zhou intends to re-enlist though Mulan ends up taking his place much to their chagrin. Next, we have what Mulan calls Little Brother which is actually the pet dog who Mulan enlists to help her feed the chickens, and then we have the Emperor who decrees that a man from every family must join the army to combat the Huns. When the Huns reach the Imperial City and kidnap the Emperor, Mulan and her friends save him while taking out the Huns and the Emperor offers her the sword of Shan Yu and the crest of the Emperor while also offering her a position as advisor which she declines. We then have the Matchmaker who tries to mold Mulan into a suitable concubine though is left frustrated when Mulan messes things up, and finally we have the Ancestors who summon Mushu to awaken the stone dragon to protect Mulan though he breaks it and Mushu lies to the Ancestors as he goes to protect Mulan. After Mulan saves China and returns home, the Ancestors recognize Mushu as a guardian again and celebrate Mulan’s victory. It is interesting that there are this many supporting characters though most of them we only see a few times while others play a bigger role, and we will see how things continue to go as we move onto the next decade.

Songs: Since the Disney Renaissance started, the films had been created to resemble Broadway musicals and they have added an extra layer to them as well as leave great moments, but it seemed to be that the formula was starting to wear a bit thin starting with this film. Unlike the previous films which had at least five or more songs throughout the film, we only have four songs in this film though this is the type of film that wouldn’t have worked as well as a full musical film like its predecessors. The first song in the film is the song “Honor to Us All” sung by Mulan, her mother, and her grandmother as they work to make Mulan a worthy concubine in a solid song, and then we have one of the trademark songs of the film “Reflection” which Mulan sings as she laments on her life in a pretty powerful ballad. We then have the other trademark song “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” sung by Captain Shang while training the new recruits in a pretty memorable sequence, and finally we have “A Girl Worth Fighting For” that the recruits sing as they dream about the concubines they will get after winning the world in a fun song. As usual, we have the pop singles for the soundtrack as well as we have “True to Your Heart” sung by 98 Degrees and Stevie Wonder, and of course we have the pop version of “Reflection” sung by Christina Aguilera as she was about to launch her career. While these songs were good and worked well for the film, it will be interesting to see what direction Disney decides to go as we come to the end of the decade.

Plot: For the third time in four films, we have a film that is based on a historical legend as we first had Pocahontas who we know existed in real life, then we have Hercules who we believe had existed in real life and now we have Mulan who is believed to have actually never existed. Known in lore as Hua Mulan, she is still one of the more beloved figures in Chinese lore even though she was in essence a character created for a ballad though her legend grew to such lengths that I’m sure many think she did exist at some point. In the plot of the film, Mulan struggles to bring honor to her family when an edict is issued that one man from each family must join the army to combat the invasion of Shan Yu and the Huns, and Mulan decides to disguise herself as a man and takes her father’s place as part of the recruits. Aided by the disgraced guardian Mushu and her cricket Cri-Kee, she joins Captain Li Shang’s unit and is trained alongside other green recruits who are cold to her at first though they become friends, and they traverse the mountains where they discover the main unit has been massacred by the Huns which includes Shang’s father. They are ambushed by the Huns and they fight back as Mulan uses a rocket to cause an avalanche and bury the Huns, and she is injured by Shan Yu and also saves Shang from falling off a cliff though they discover that she is not a man. Instead of executing her per the law, Shang spares her due to her saving him though he expels her from the army and they continue to the Imperial City, and Mulan prepares to return home though she discovers the Huns have survived and are headed to the City. She arrives and tries to warn of the danger though no one believes her and the Huns spring an ambush as they kidnap the Emperor, and Mulan works together with Shang and the recruits as they defeat the Huns and save the Emperor. Mulan and Shang battle Shan Yu as he discovers Mulan was the solider that caused the avalanche, and he chases her onto the roof only for Mushu and Cri-Kee to create a giant rocket that sends Shan Yu into a tower of rockets which kills him. Mulan is recognized by the Emperor for her heroism and he offers her a position as an advisor though she declines so she can return home, and she is given the sword of Shan Yu and the Crest of the Emperor as gifts. She returns home though Shang follows her on the pretense of returning her helmet though he is invited to stay for dinner while Mushu is reinstated as a guardian. While the film does take some liberties with the ballad which is usually common for a film that is geared towards children, it does a fine job in making Mulan a fine hero and princess as well as let more people know about her tale.

Random Watching Thoughts: The time period that this film is set is unsure given that the legend sets her in either Northern Wei or Qing, but it had to be sometime when the Great Wall was built; I know it’s dark out, but wouldn’t the guards be more aware that the giant army of Huns was approaching them?; The guard was so proud that he was able to light the fires though he was about to be killed anyway; A single grain of rice can tip the scale; You’ve heard of kids writing notes on their hand, well Mulan takes it a step further by writing notes on her arm; It is funny that Mulan calls the dog her “little brother”; Honestly, I don’t think that a dog pulling a bag of feed around the yard is the most efficient way to feed the chickens; Fa Zhou is trying so hard to pray only for the chickens to interrupt him; That did take quite a bit of luck for Grandmother Fa not to get hurt like that; How did her notes not get washed off so easily?; Cri-Kee was so reluctant to help; Reflect before you snack, true advice we can all live by; How did the Matchmaker not realize that she had ink on her hand?; It doesn’t help Mulan when the Matchmaker makes a perfect mustache and beard combo with the ink on her hand; Cri-Kee was feeling good relaxing in that tea; Mulan should’ve known that when there’s a fire, you can’t fan the flames because that’ll make it worse; Grandmother Fa is so optimistic; I have to say that “Reflection” is one of those unheralded songs you don’t hear enough about; You have to give Fa Zhou credit for being willing to fight even though he is likely to be killed; That didn’t take long for them to find out that Mulan had left and taken Fa Zhou’s place; Clearly, Mushu is bitter about being demoted; Those two Ancestors looked like the American Gothic painting; Fa Deng was beheaded in real life and now he has to spend his days as a specter with his head still separated from his body; He knocks the ear off and it leads to the entire statue being destroyed; Those scouts didn’t do a good job staying hidden from the Huns; I wonder if Shan Yu was supposed to be similar to Genghis Khan, but they had to create a new character since Genghis Khan never lost a battle in his life; Mulan had nothing nearby to throw at Khan so she had to use her shoe; Mushu goes through this grand entrance and all he gets for it is a stomping from Khan; To be fair, Mushu did deserve to get slapped when he said he could see through Mulan’s armor; That guy actually went so far as to get a dragon tattoo on his chest; Of course the biggest one would be the most passive one; I feel bad for that chef having his precious rice stew knocked over like that; The way that Chi-Fu was acting almost made you think that he was going to be revealed as a spy for the Huns; Shang is so confident that his troops would be the best and he comes out of his tent to see a wild brawl between the troops; Even after seeing the scene, General Li is still sure that Shang will get the job done; Yao had to get one last punch in; Fa Zhou must’ve been a great warrior in the army if they are astonished to learn he had a son they didn’t know about; I think Mushu should’ve let Cri-Kee know that he was going to use him as an alarm clock; Sleeping Beauty reference; Mushu would be the kind of dragon that would have bunny slippers; Chi-Fu tells them to be in order and they ask for food; That couldn’t be good for Yao’s teeth; If you ask many people what they remember most about this film, I guarantee they will say “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”; Of all the tents that rocket had to it, it would be Chi-Fu’s; It is funny how in the span of a song and a montage that all the recruits went from being completely inept to fully trained warriors; I didn’t think they had corn chips in ancient China; Mushu not being subtle at all saying there are many things the men will notice if they see Mulan in the water; Chien-Po dips his toe in the water to test the temperature before doing a full cannonball in; Ling hasn’t seen many dragons if he thinks Mushu is a snake; Mushu even has a toothbrush with toothpaste; In Mulan’s defense, Chi-Fu could use a good punch in the face; Chi-Fu actually carries a picture of himself and the Emperor wherever he goes; Cri-Kee writing on the paper and making sounds like a typewriter; Does Mushu need the potpourri that bad?; Where did they find a panda?; The cattle were like “say what?”; The men were so excited to have a girl back home after they win the war; Mushu created a fake order for them to join the army only to find out that if he did it earlier, they maybe could’ve saved them; Mushu threw Cri-Kee under the bus quickly; How did none of the earlier rockets cause an avalanche yet the one that Mulan fires into the mountain is the one that causes it?; Yao must have really good vision if he only has one eye; Chien-Po comes over and just casually carries everyone back so they can pull Mulan and Shang to safety; I just noticed that the medical tent had a white patch with a red dot similar to the Japanese flag; Chi-Fu has no mercy on Mulan even though she is wounded; It’s a good thing that Mulan didn’t leave earlier and was able to notice the Huns survived the avalanche; They put together quite the celebration in such a short time; So I looked it up and China refers to itself as “The Middle Kingdom” because they believed to be at the center of the world; The Huns got their fairly quickly to be able to disguise themselves in such record time; They were way too willing to be dressed up like women; Mongolian barbecue; The Emperor just casually walks away while Shang battles with Shan Yu; Mulan still throwing her shoe at people; It’s never a good idea to say you’re making the plan up as you go in such a situation like this; Mushu looking a bit like Batman; The fan is mightier than the sword; Talk about a grand finale; The Emperor lists all the bad things Mulan has done yet is grateful that she saved everyone that he bows to her out of respect; Chi-Fu wanted nothing to do with Mulan so the Emperor was willing to give her his position; That awkward moment between Mulan and Shang before she leaves; The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful flower of all; Basically, the Emperor is telling Shang not to let Mulan get away from him; Mulan desperately presents the gifts to her father thinking she has shamed him when he couldn’t be more proud of her; Mulan comes home a war hero and Grandmother Fa is upset she doesn’t have a man; The Ancestor was so reluctant to admit that Mushu did a great job and was worthy of becoming a guardian again; The Ancestors were earlier so critical of Mulan when she left and now they claimed they knew all along she would be a hero; Technically, Mushu shouldn’t be to blame for the dog and chickens getting into the party; Still crazy to think that it was a song from this film is what was the launching pad for Christina Aguilera.

Overall Thoughts: Overall, this film was a pretty solid film and I enjoyed it slightly more than Hercules, but it was still a slight notch before Hunchback and obviously not on the level of the top films from the Disney Renaissance. Having never seen any of these films when they first came out and only seeing them for the first time now over 20 years later, I am amazed how well these films have held up and I realize that I missed out on seeing them when they first came out. Again, these last few films aren’t as good as the films from earlier in the decade, but they still hold up very well against some of the other films from earlier in the canon. We only have one film left in the 1990s and what many consider the end of the Renaissance, so we will see if that film holds up like these ones and if the decade ends on a high note. As for this film, it is a pretty good film and one that I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I would.

Final Grade: 7.5/10