#i think when johnny gets his own body back he'd try a whole lot of new stuff

[totentnz]

thinking about johnny with a mustache.... not in a funny haha making fun of him kinda way but in a i think he'd rock it kinda way

[blood-grove]

The Hunt

previous hunt <- part 2 -> (hunting)

x tws; violence , blood , injuries , gore , slight suggestiveness , sickness. <- more will be added possible depending on the part.

x pairings; soap x male!reader (😲)

x characters; soap , ghost , price , gaz + (others will maybe be added? idk ive never written a whole lot of characters cuz i get confused in my own head)

Soap ran his hands through your hair gently scratching your scalp as you purred lowly.

"God ah loue hearing ye purr git a real overgrown moggie as mah boyfriend dinnae ah?" Soap mumbled as he moved his hands to your face tilting your head up enough to look up at him from his lap.

"Such a nice view mm?" Soap grinned as he gently reached hand down brushing over the slight stubble around your chin and cheeks you preferred a clean shave and had quickly learned how to do it yourself.

Especially after all the cuts Johnny gave you trying to do one side of your face.

"Mm.." You hummed as you shifted in the water a near by lake you both have found yourselves at to clean up clothes set aside Soap always carried another pair for the both of you.

Your medallion hung heavy on your chest when clothed you always hid it so you didn't feel like it getting stolen and shifting into a giant dragon while out shopping would be ideal for you and Soap's little business venture.

"How much do we have now..?" You mumbled as you focused on washing instead of Soap's touch.

"Mm..We lost a guid bit we hud tae rush tae th' lea back then..we got 300 silver from you..We'll have to eat today so that'll be around 40 ish- We have about uhh mm.." Soap went quiet in thought as you huffed silently washing some more mud off yourself.

Money.

It had been a problem for you both you could never kept it.

You both had gotten greedy one village ago too many dragon attacks the dragon causing no damage and not even stealing livestock.

They figured you out.

You panicked.

And all remains is a burnt ashy waste.

You tried to repress the memory they were going to hang Soap what else were you supposed to do? You can't take on a whole town, You didn't have Soap's wit and agility especially not back when your human form was still so fresh.

For being such a strong creature you felt helpless in that moment, Soap still wore some scars from it all.

You shook your head as Soap's concerned look brought you back to the present.

"You okay love?"

"..Mm..Yeah.." You nodded as you gently nuzzled him slightly before going to get and dry off with the cloth you both brought.

"...Alright..I think we've got around 1,200"

"..Still not enough.."

"Yeah.."

For the rest of the evening you both ate and soon found an inn to stay in, You both planned to leave before dawn you didn't feel like getting up so early, especially with the cool chill of the twilight air.

You weren't cold-blooded per se but heat has always been a luxury to bask in getting in enough rays just to wake you up enough has always been a pleasure.

But being a literal fire-breathing creature meant your core ran warm perfect for Soap to cling onto too And an excuse to bury his face in your chest.

You didn't mind of course you always woke up to him running his fingers through your hair or sometimes he'd be sketching while one hand rested somewhere on you.

You feel you hit the jackpot with him he's always been physically affectionate yet he never overstepped a line you both hadn't crossed yet.

It was way past dawn when you both woke up again.

You were the clingy one this morning as you tried to keep Soap in place despite his groggy voice mumbling that you both had to get up.

You refused.

He stared at you as you admitting childishly locked your body around his limbs looking up at him.

"Oh noo whitevur shall ah dae a dragon haes me trapped in tis sleepy embrace..maybe a few kisses wull convince it tae let this poor warrior go?." Soap grinned as he looked at you cupping your face as he freed his arms.

"Possibly..I don't know the dragon has a very high kiss toll..I might have ta' turn you into a pile of ash if you don't abide by it.." You teased as he gently pecked your forehead.

"Ohh I'm sooo scared" He chuckled as he finally leaned down and embraced you into a kiss which you quickly melted into letting the rest of his body free as his hands slid down to your hips gently squeezing them as he deepened the kiss.

Soap chummed as he pulled away placing a quick on your forehead before he slipped away.

You both finally got dressed properly as you both packed up and got ready to leave.

Today is another day and another village was ripe for the pickings.

In your head it sounded sort of like thievery.

Maybe you both were scam artist thieves and not relieving people of there excess wealth.

Maybe you were both bad people scamming and scaring the richer folk.

Nah.

It took a week or so to reach the next town and you were both back to your routine.

Soap headed to the nearby guild or tavern if there wasnt a guild, He had a knack for charming the drunk passerby with his exaggerating his dragon slaying tales.

You just hoped he wouldn't get too drunk on the first day here.

You on the other hand were scouting out the town maybe getting a few treats for you and Soap.

You were so preoccupied in your thoughts and potential sweets you would buy you bumped into what could only be mistaken as a brick wall sending stumbling back.

"Ah fuck- What the-"

"Sorry."

You flinched at the voice as you looked up meeting not a magic talking wall which you would have preferred but a man tall and draped in dark clothes and a hooded cloak a skull mask fitted on his face and cloth covering the rest of it.

You got up quickly as he picked up your satchel and book holding them back to you as you stood there for a moment before finally composed yourself.

"Ah um- No its alright I wasnt paying attention."

He just hummed which you couldnt decivier if its good or bad.

"Wheres the guild house here?"

"Uh um I think back near the far markets and again I'm so-"

He just left following your honestly vague directions.

"Oh.. uh okay."

Weirdo.

a/n; sorry if it isnt that good just got back from vacation

[gemini-sensei]

New Hire | Sensei!Hawk x Sensei!Reader

Chubby!Badass!Reader

Contents: fluff and some NSFW, nothing too serious (unedited)

When Daniel told him that he was going to be bringing in a new sensei, Hawk didn't know what to think at first. His mind went back to the trials and tribulations Daniel went through trying to work with Johnny, the ups and downs, the good and bad. However, he was assured that this new sensei wasn't like Johnny at all and that she was going to be professional. She was actually a children's educator and knew how to work best with kids and young teens, so there should be no problems.

Upon hearing they were a female sensei, Hawk was intrigued. He'd seen and met so few women in the same position as him, and only at tournaments. So to say he was a little excited to meet her would be an understatement.

He was getting ready for a class when the gate opened, but it was still to early for kids to start showing up. Thinking it was Daniel, he turned around to greet him, only to be met with a voluptuous woman smiling at him.

"You must be Sensei Hawk," she said, grinning at him. She walked up and extanded her hand to him. "I'm Reader."

He shook it with a smile of his own. "It's nice to finally meet you. Have you been shown around?"

"No, a tour would be great though," she laughed.

After a brief walk around the yard and showing her where they keep their equipment, Hawk sat down with Reader to get to know her better. They talked about how long they've been doing karate, how long they've been working with kids, what other hobbies they have, and other life things. He learns she just moved to the Valley for some peace and quiet, recently single thanks to a cheating ex, and just looking to start anew even though she's young.

"Never too early to start fresh," he told her.

She laughed. "Never."

When kids started trickling in, he introduced her to some parents and gaurdians. She said hi to the kids and made them laugh if they're a little shy at first. Everyone warmed to her pretty quickly. She made herself very approachable for the young children and once all of the students were there, Hawk told them that they'd have a little Q+A so that everyone can get to know their new Sensei better.

She told them about herself so warmly and answered their questions without hesitation. Yes, she has a pet. No, she's not married. Yes, she went to college. Maybe she likes pineapple of pizza. She made the kids giggle a lot and got them excited to have a new sensei at the dojo.

When it was time for the lesson, Hawk saw how great she is with the kids; how dedicated she is to teaching them and working with them. She's a natural with them and he admired her for it; how gentle she was when teaching them, how much care and attention she gave everyone. He knew that they were going to work together greatly.

It wasn't until after class that he learned how badass she was.

The whole time, she gave en off this soft and sweet nature, and maybe that has a lot to do with him kind of judging her based off her her soft, curvy body mixed with her attitude toward the kids. Once everyone has left, he asks her how good her karate is.

"Why don't I show you instead?" she challenged, then nodded toward the sparring deck. "That thing ever see any action or is it just for show?"

"Oh, it's not just for show," he told her, prideful of the design he made for it. "You wanna hop up there?"

"After you."

So they stepped up and faced each other, taking their positions. Hawk saw er as being on his level since they're both senseis, so he didn't plan on holding back. However, as soon as they start, there's little back and forth, and in a matter of two minutes, he's been taken to the floor. She pinned him down with her knees and landed a blow to his chest, which would mean she'd earn a point if they were really competing.

"I was a three time champion back home in the under 18 tournament," she told him before getting up. She extended her hand to him and he took it, letting her pull him up. "I was the one everyone strive to beat."

"And no one could?"

"Nope," she said with a grin. "I aged out of the tournament a champion and I still hold the record for most consecutive wins in the tournament."

"Reigning champion. Nice."

"Don't I know it." She laughed and it was something harmonious to Hawk. "They said if anyone came close to beating that, they'd call me back to present the trophy."

"What an honor," he laughed, smiling wide.

"Right?"

They finish cleaning up the dojo before their next class arrives. The time is spent talking about life, swapping stories, and just getting to know one another. It's a refreshment to the routine that had built up over the last few months. He thinks it's going to be great having Reader around.

As time goes on, he finds himself sitting down with her more, enjoying her company. He enjoys making lesson plans with her and little field trips for their students. Sometimes he has to stop himself from staring st her, wondering what he's doing when he catches himself.

He can't help it though. He's grown a little crush on her. Watching her work with the kids is heartwarming and when they're practicing on their own, he thinks she's hot as Hell. She's focused, determined, and totally badass. She also makes the kids feel confident and as if they can do anything. It's amazing, she's awesome.

At the end of everyday, he bids her goodbye, just to go home alone. He sits down and relaxes, maybe plays some online games to unwind, order some dinner. With each passing day, he finds himself wishing she were with him; sitting on the sofa as they relax, eating take out at his little dining table, winding down with a shower and crawling into bed. He wants to hold her at night, run his hands over her curves. Pull her close and kiss her neck.

Instead, he rolls onto his back and shoves his hand in his pants to the thought of her. He groans her name as he rubs one out, eventually coming all over his hand. He pants into the night air, thinking about kissing her after stuffing her full. It gets out of hand sometimes, especially after he thinks about getting her pregnant with their own little karate student... it's after that thought, he realizes he needs to ask her out. Soon.

[jaxxsoxxn]

Jason Peter the first flash was talking to Hal, Wally and Barry about the mission. They all just did with the suicide squad help as well, helping take down the villain, they had to face against

I have to met that was the most chaotic mission  I think I have ever faced my existence, being the flash well welcome to Gotham city Hal how said with a salute well, I can’t be all that bad right Barry Barry ?

Barry didn’t answer Jason question to occupied with something else across for them was Harley Bart, and Captain boomerang Harley and Bart with sitting in the couch, talking about anything about the whole mission.

Captain boomer, and the other hand, was lenient edge, of the couch, talking to Bart and Harley, with a beer in his hand, drinking it Jason was confused what was very looking at over there until he realized Barry was looking at that poor man’s behind Jason slept Barry‘s head without any warning smack

Ow what the hell was that for Barry ask confusing looking at the first the flash with a confused look.

Young man has anyone told you it’s pretty rude to look at someone’s behind what Barry was more confused until he looked back at boomerang and realized oh wait no I didn’t mean to no no no no that’s not. Don’t lie to me Barry I seen too many. Awful men looking at my woman’s behind and I had to give them a lesson to respect their manners like I’m doing to you

One second Hal and Wally starts laughing oh, this is the best day of my fucking life how said with a choked laugh it seems nice and innocent angel got in trouble looking at his rouges. Ass How does it feel buddy pal? You should make him apologize Wally said laughing even harder

You know, that’s a pretty good idea Wally what Barry said horrified excuse me young man over there. Wait wait no no no no no no no I promise I won’t do it again just please I’m begging, you no

——🦋





Usually I try to go through my asks from the oldest to the newest, but I can't help myself, I adore this prompt :} so it'll be first! Also thank u for that, Butterfly anon <3

---

Jay wasn't huge on helping Suicide Squad at first, but after a few times Bart and Barry came back all jumpy and excited, even he had to rethink his stand on the TFX missions. In the end, it was better to be close to the possible danger.

So here he was, now after their first mission together, standing next to Wally, Hal and Barry, while the rest of their merry group watched a silly cartoon next to them. At this point, their conversation strayed back onto the topic of their little "get together". It's not that Jay didn't see the trio a lot, but time was different for every speedster in some way. Barry, so alike Bart, hated the way a second could last days, so he usually tried his best not to be "faster" in that way and took time traveling risks only when needed - or so he said.

"...and like usual, it'd be way smoother without your hot-headed temperament, Hal - right Barry?" a softly delivered joke went through the Flash, making the younger speedster stop and look at the man. Jay noticed that the blue eyes were staring at something on their left, so he followed them with his own glare.

At first glance, their dear superhero was just looking at the rest of their team. Bart and Harley were sat on the couch, younger ranting about something connected to Johnny Bravo, which was playing in front of them.

While it was a sweet sight, Jay couldn't help, but notice that the thing in actual first plan wasn't them, nor the couch, but Captain Boomerang, bent over the back of the couch, lazily sipping a beer. His long body was strung up in some places, making the t-shirt a tight fit over his back. But if it'd be that what caught Barry's eyes, Jay wouldn't find even a small issue with it, but the glaring wasn't ending on the upper part of Boomer's body - it was on the lower part. If Flash would have Superman's powers, he'd burn the Rouge alive.

Jay couldn't help the automatic response of slapping Barry upside his head, a disappointed grimace on his face.

"Ow, what was that for?" Flash looked at him, obviously confused, until Jay answered his question.

"Barry, I cannot believe you from all people would stare at someone's... behind like that." the older man's tone was softly quiet, yet still offended.

If Hal and Wally wouldn't be who they are, maybe they wouldn't catch his words. But usually when you put a space cop and one of beacons of hope together, you should expect them to catch things others don't.

Barry hates that fact right now, his face burning from embarrassment, when they side glance at the same place he was looking at, noticing the Rouge bent over.

"No, no, no, no! It's not like-!" he scrambled to explain, before Jay shot him a judgy look.

"Barry, do not lie to me, you were eyeing him like he's a steak! I've met a lot of men who couldn't stop looking at others like that, but I cannot believe you, my boy, would be one of them." he shakes his head lightly. "I just- I didn't even think you of all people would need to learn some manners!"

While Barry gets redder, almost matching his suit, Hal and Wally can't contain their laughter.

"Oh my stars, it's the funniest shit. Did- Did our beloved sweet angel got caught staring at Boomer's ass?!" GL shook hysterically, while laughing with his whole body. His left hand landed on Flashes arm, shaking him while the owner hid his face. "How does it feel ending up on the dark side, huh?"

Wally, before his mentor could react, chuckled and said jokingly:

"You should make him apologize, Jay, that'll teach him!"

The older Flash considered it visibly, before nodding his head in agreement, making Barry freeze in his place in fear.

"You know what, that's not a bad idea-"

"No, no, no, no-! Jay, please, you know me! It was just a moment of weakness, it won't happen again! C'mon, please, no- I'll stop, I swear, I will-!"

[elpida]

She watched him, his anger then listened to the smash out of that room and half jumped out of her skin. The thought the doctor was talking at her, not that she really took in anything he was saying but.. the elderly man, he was nodding along to wat was being said. She writhed, pushing her hand into her hair. Plenty of water, it'll pass through the night, thankfully she hadn't had the whole glass.. but he warned of what signs to look out for, though he was certain through the night the symptoms would listen and that she should spend tomorrow resting to build her strength. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, encouraging her to lean over the bed towards a glass held up for her. Best to not have her try and hold glass right now but she looked at the kind, aged eyes of the man helping her. "Did I.. upset him?" she asked between little sips, kind. That's all Eden could think, was that he was kind to assist her so... patiently. "I'm sorry." Eden couldn't help but apologise, she felt like a burden when she was like this, groggy and dazed, her body weakened and not her own. She flopped back but it was clear enough from how she laid in a fetal position, her head almost hanging off the bed, she didn't feel good. She mumbled another apology but reached this time to take his hand, only it was more her hand just laying in his. She just wanted someone to stay with her. She didn't want to be left alone for ghosts to find. For a brief moment she thought Lawrence reminded her of her Grandad, she hadn't got to know him for very long.. but he was a gentle soul too.

Johnny Barlowe was a coward, a fucking coward. He screamed like a bitch when he was grabbed, bag over his head and knocked out, until he was tied into a chair with his wrists and ankles bound, gag in his mouth to shut him the hell up because he kept crying out for help. He should know by now that if you came around tied up like this, you were not getting out by crying for help. His phone held ample evidence to what he'd done to Eden, numerous texts about how easy she'd be, how she'd fall right into his arms and go with him easily now, how effective the drug would be, how he'd slipped it into her drink and knew she only needed to take one sip for it to start taking effect. It was sick, twisted and he had every intend to do much worse to Eden than he'd written on a text. Eden O'Connor, that just asked to be left alone.. Eden that'd been going back outside to apologise and yet still apologised, when she'd done nothing wrong. He'd done everything wrong and he had no idea how that drug would react with her, it could've been a lot worse, hell it was worse, she'd been sick, she'd passed out, she couldn't even stand and above all.. he'd made her feel little, vulnerable and frightened. He'd made her cry for someone she couldn't have, he'd put her in this awful place and felt no remorse for it.

"The fuck is that all about?" the gag was finally removed and he as good as growled the words at Angelo. "This is fucking ridiculous I've done fuck all!" he shouted and fought against the rope keeping him down. He'd be nothing to fight but seeing him helpless? It was bittersweet, he'd make prey of Eden in a similar position and expected mercy for himself. "What business is that about? I'm sure we can sort it out, figure out a deal." then his eyes widened, like he realised who Angelo was, recognised him as the man that'd been Eden and suddenly.. big talk Barlowe, seemed like a shrivelled mouse. "Listen, someone put me up to that it wasn't anything serious, just a joke! Just something to make her look a bit silly that was it. It was only meant to shake her up a bit-- Is this really necessary? We could do great business together! Listen bud, I've links all over you say the word it's yours all my contacts!" he was fretting, trying to bargain, what a weak man he really was. He cracked with so little pressure. "Christ man it was just a joke." A joke that she was laying in his bed, paying for.

Angelo seethed with rage, a volatile emotion that threatened to spiral out of control unless someone intervened to temper it. Yet, that was the dilemma: few possessed the ability to assuage his fury. Angelo's outbursts were notoriously difficult to quell, resistant to taming. However, Eden's gentle touch, her small, delicate hand resting on his leg, seemed to offer a fleeting moment of solace, albeit momentarily. Despite her apologetic words, he knew she bore no responsibility for his turmoil; this was not her wrongdoing, nor her responsibility. She had been attacked, and that was something he couldn’t forgive. As they approached his opulent mansion, the imposing gates swung open upon the guards being notified of his arrival, swiftly closing behind them as the vehicle surged forward and parked by the entrance. Marble stairs led to the secured door, flanked by two additional guards. The perimeter was heavily fortified, with some speculating that the heightened security was solely due to Angelo's presence rather than any external threats.

Angelo observed Eden's struggle with the seatbelt, his brows furrowing in concern as she posed her question. "Eden, there's no —" His words were abruptly cut off by her tears and her desperate inquiries about her brother. His eyes widened in alarm as he witnessed her anguish, realizing she was haunted by memories or yearning for someone dear whom she had lost. A profound sense of empathy washed over him, his own heart weighed down by her distress and the longing for a presence that seemed to be absent. Though he harbored doubts about her brother's survival, her reaction to her own question seemed to confirm his fears .Swiftly exiting the car, Angelo rushed to her side, opening the passenger seat and cradling her trembling, weakened body in his arms. Ascending the stairs to his home, Angelo proceeded to another set of steps once inside, leading to his bedroom where Lawrence and the doctor awaited their arrival. Angelo hurried in, setting her down on his bed so the doctor could run the tests and treat her as soon as possible.

"...And that's what happened," Angelo concluded, explaining to Lawrence the circumstances that led to Eden's presence in his home, a place typically devoid of women unless they were hired maids. Lawrence stood beside a visibly angry Angelo, who crossed his arms over his chest, awaiting the doctor's feedback. “If I may express my opinion on the matter, sir, I’d say, there’s a heart in you, after this unfortunate turn of events,” Lawrence remarked with a close-lipped smile. “I’ve never doubted any of it.” At his remark, Angelo shook his head slowly. “No, Lawrence. I’m an asshole. Now a menace to the person that has done this.” He was keen on pursuing revenge, to ensure no one ever touches Eden again. “Sir, I’m quite certain by now, they will be frightened to venture around this mansion.”

"Alcohol and Rohypnol are present in her system," the doctor explained to Angelo and Lawrence after completing the tests on Eden. Angelo nodded in acknowledgment, but his attention was quickly diverted by the vibration of his phone, signaling a new incoming message. He glanced at Eden as he responded to her greeting before turning his gaze to the screen. “Hey,” The message was from Gailbrath, informing him about Barlowe. His jaw clenched upon reading the message, and he shoved the phone inside his pocket. He'd deal with it later; there were more pressing matters at hand. Turning to face Lawrence, Angelo instructed, "Stay with her. I'll be back." With determined strides, he left the room, the sound of a large vase shattering against the floor echoing in his wake. He pulled his phone out once more, dialling two unknown numbers from people he knew. “Get me Johnny Barlowe. Take him to the place I’ll send to you now. It’s urgent. I’m going to get rid of that asshole.” He spat out once he was out of his home and had climbed into his Land Rover again. He had to do this quick.

[babybluebex]

yandere!jonathan crane pt.3

tw: pregnancy, a lot of talk about suicide, mentions of past abuse, huge manipulation trigger, i think this is the darkest thing i've ever written so REALLY take this trigger warning to heart

after about three months of existing in jonathan's house, chained up every day, you feel suffocated

true to his word, he uncuffs you every evening when he gets home and lets you go about your wifely duties around the house, tidying up and gathering laundry and making dinner

he likes to watch you do the mundane work, and he's practically heart eyes the whole time because this is exactly what he's wanted for so long, a sweet obedient little wife

he hasn't hit you since the first time but, knowing now that it's a possibility, you flinch every time he goes to hug you he always looks like a hurt puppy when you flinch away from him "my love, did i do something wrong?"

he refuses to even acknowledge that it was him who put this fear in you, so he assumes it was someone from your old life who used to hit you

"aren't you glad you don't have to deal with them anymore? you're safe with me"

you try to bargain with your husband about the chains and handcuffs "two hours a day, only while you're out" and he refuses

he just can't risk someone taking you he's particularly fixated on the fact that the batman might come and take you

he says his name as if he's mocking him "the batman"

you figured out that there’s only one way that he’ll loosen up, and you wait for the perfect time to tell him the lie

comes home from work one day and kisses your head as he fishes the key out of his pocket

“i’m late”

“late to what?”

“no, johnny. i’m late. my period— i’m usually pretty regular… what if i’m pregnant?”

(you are technically late, though; you had heard about people who went through traumatic situations and their bodies shut down, and you knew that that was what was going on)

he fully entertains the idea, smiling and kissing your head “that would be amazing, love. i’ll scale back the hours at arkham so i’m home more for you… what’s wrong, you seem upset”

“i-i’m just nervous” and shrug “yknow pregnancy is so intense, on top of all of…” move your hands and the chains clank “this”

“i won’t chain you up when you’re pregnant” jonathan tells you and his eyebrows wrinkle like of course i won’t do, what do you think i am, crazy?

"really?" but you have to play along, you can't show him how excited you are

"chaining up my pregnant wife?" he scoffs "i'm not a monster, my love."

you did anticipate him loosening the reigns a little bit but not this much

your mind wanders to escape for the first time, and you wonder what he would do if he found out you couldn't go home because he'd find you there, he's too smart not to check your old apartment first

you were trapped

hell, it was probably better to stay with jonathan than to try to make it out on your own in gotham

you spend the next day or two wondering how you'll pass the ruse of pregnancy, and you finally land on not trying anything special at all

even if you don't, jonathan loves you, and he wouldn't doubt you about this sort of thing

without the chains on your wrists during the day, you feel so free

you walk around the empty apartment, exploring the places you hadn't been allowed before, his office and a small room that your husband had called the closet but you knew was actually a third room

you had an excuse ready for if he came home early and caught you: "i thought maybe it could be the baby's room, i didn't mean to snoop" but he never comes home early

this closet room made your stomach turn

pictures of you, covering every inch of the wall

it looked like something out of a movie

some were taken off of your social media profiles, selfies and cute pictures of you and your friends

some where taken from afar, as you drank coffee in the park or pursued a book store

dr crane had been watching you, stalking you, for months

does he even know how long he had been obsessed with you? was it before you were his patient? or had you become his patient because he was stalking you?

you just couldn't take it, and you ran out of the room and back to the bedroom, and you almost screamed when you saw your husband sitting on the edge of the bed

bile rises in your throat and you press your fist to your mouth "johnny, wh-what're you doing home so early?"

"i testified in another case today," he tells you. "like the falcone case a few months ago. we finished early, which is a miracle in the gotham court system, and i thought i'd take you out to dinner. are you ok? you look pale"

you nodded and swallowed down your fear and vomit and dread "just morning sickness" you lied "i don't get it in the morning, though... usually after lunch"

jonathan extended his arms to you and you slinked into his grip, and he pulled you down onto the bed next to him

he presses a kiss to your forehead and begins to soothingly rub your stomach, and you press your forehead under his chin as he calmed you down

but the sickness comes back in a snap when you feel a tug inside you, almost like a nudge "did you feel that?" and your husband is so pleased "aw, she kicked, love!"

"i-is that what that feels like?" you sniffled because no fucking way, there's no fucking way you're actually pregnant, fucking absolutely not, it's not true, please let it be a joke

"did it feel weird?" jonathan asks and you don't try to hide it anymore you're terrified because he did finally manage to capture you.

locking you in his home is one thing but carrying his child is another

"i'm so scared" you whimper and shove your face in your hands "jonathan, fuck, i'm so scared, i don't wanna—"

"shh, i know, i'm scared too"

"no! you don't get it! i'm scared, jonathan! i'm scared of this house, i'm scared of you, i'm scared of this baby! i don't want to raise my baby in a house with the man who kidnapped me!"

"i did not kidnap you—"

"yes you did! yes you did jonathan, you kidnapped me! let me go, i wanna go home!"

he clenches his jaw and sighs, and he takes off his glasses for a moment "there's no home for you anymore" he said. "officially, legally... you're dead. you killed yourself while you were in arkham. it was tragic really, it was after a session, you managed to grab my pen... you should have seen the way your mother cried at your funeral"

hot tears fill your eyes and you scream, and you hit his chest over and over and over

your whole body is on fire, and jonathan does nothing to move away or to stop you "i hate you! i hate you! i hate you!" you scream at him

"i still have nightmares about it" he tells you and you pant through your teeth "if only i had been more careful... i let my guard down around you. you were usually so calm, you had never mentioned any suicidal thoughts. i don't... i told your mother it was my fault, that i was careless, and let me tell you, love, your mom wouldn't let me say that. she said it wasn't anybody's fault"

"how long ago?" you sniffle "how long have i been dead, dr crane?"

"three months" he says and you wail into his neck "every sunday your mother goes and sits at your grave. she brings you flowers"

"you fucking bastard! i hate you, i hate you, i hope you die!"

"a lot of people in this town wish the same thing," jonathan said, and he calmly reached for the shackles

you kicked at him and screamed, raking your nails across his face, fighting back, even harder than you did before, and you manage to knock his glasses off

they shatter when they hit the floor, and jonathan grabs your ankle in an iron grip "stop it! you're acting like a child! and you wouldn't dare hurt rosie, would you?"

you knew that rosie was your daughter, the little bundle of love inside you, and you clenched your teeth and finally submitted as jonathan restrained you, making sure to ratchet the cuff tight around your ankle

"i hate you!" you scream again

you're so powerless against him that screaming at him is the only thing you can do

"even if you could escape" he starts. "you're dead. your bank account's been closed, your university's already shredded every document with your name on it. you have nothing left"

"i have my family"

jonathan rolls his eyes and laughs "your brother moved out of state. your mom doesn't leave her house. anyway, i declared you legally insane the week before you killed yourself. what they would see is a deranged girl who faked her death and runs home with some story about how your fucking psychiatrist kidnapped you. with what proof?"

"rosie. rosie's my proof"

jonathan shrugged "doesn't mean i kidnapped you. you're about three and half months along, you know what else happened three and a half months ago? i made a breakthrough. people are stupid and easily manipulated— you know, you're one of them!— but even more so when they're being drugged. three and a half months ago, i developed a hallucinogen that, in small does, only serves to make people susceptible to suggestion and not entirely and independently form thoughts. it's a shame, i had this old blue swetarer than i accidentally sprinkled with some of it... i wonder where it went"

"you fucking drugged me?"

"and it would really suck if the flowers that a grieving psychiatrist gave to your mother was laced with it too. baby, i have this entire thing planned. i have contingencies for contingencies. your family knows you're dead. you're never leaving me."

you sniffle as he stands up and sweeps some dark hair off of his forehead, and you weakly kick out at him again when he reaches down to caress your foot

"i hate you"

he smiles at you and it makes your blood boil "i love you too darling. take a nap, sleep off some of that anger and morning sickness, and i'll be ready to talk about it when you want to act like an adult."

[stilwater-saint]

I have 15 whole followers (WOOOOOO) So im officially giving myself permission to GUSH about my bosses.

This is Grant

He's my main boss and lowkey my main OC. He's a Bisexual man, and kinda part demon? When he was in the comma, he made a deal with a demon. He could come back, protect his sister, rebuild the saints, for the price of his body. All he had to do, was house the demon and its powers. He agreed.

This is his sister, Gia (Aka: Arson)

Arson is the character i play when I just kinda wanna destroy shit. Shes pan a pan woman trying, and succeeding, in holding her own against the boys. She fancys herself the muscle of the operation. She takes next to nothing seriously except her involvement in the saints. As far as shes concerned, they saved her and her brothers life.

Here's a pen doodle of them together

Out of the 2, Grant is more level headed. He didn't used to be, but after the death of Carlos he promised himself he wouldn't loose anyone else, and to do that, he knew he had to start acting like a leader, and not a gang banger.

Grant used to be a chaotic ball of fire. He'd run into things without thinking, shoot first, ask questions later. You'd think the incident with Lin or the boat bombing would have calmed him, but no. All it did was feed the fire. It wasn't until Carlos died that he realized just what he'd gotten himself into.

Arson is the opposite. She's been a wild child her whole life and is more than happy to continue to be so. She thinks Grant thinks too much. Who needs a plan when guns exist?

In reality, shes fucking terrified that is she stops, people will view her as weak, or she'll buckle under the pressure. It's a man's world, and she's well aware of it. To get any respect from the saints, and to get out of her brothers shadow, you gotta make some noise.

BACKSTORY:

(TW: MENTIONS OF S*XUAL ASSULT)

The Twins weren't nessicarly poor growing up, but they weren't rich. They were born Upper middle class thanks to their dad. They were aware of their roll in their fathers socity. Dress nice, stay quite. Set pieces in the so called perfect life.

Until their dad got caught fucking his secretary in his office.

One grueling divorce later, the twins found themselves moving into the Row with their Mother. She was determined to make it on her own without her Exs money, and the kids were determined to have nothing to do with their father. It still made for a very lonely life. When their mother wasn't working, she was trying to find comfort an another creep. A creep that often couldn't keep his hands to himself. Both kids were subjugated to it at least once. Neither spoke up. Neither twin wanted to breath their mothers heart again.

So they started spending more time out of the house. They were in high-school at this point. They spent time at friends houses, couch surfing and coming up with any excuse not to go home. Notably, at this point Grant meets Johnny. Their social circles ran adjacent to eachother, and the two could often be found in the Joint Circle together. Even crashing on Johnny's couch once or twice. But for the most part, Johnny and the twins weren't close at the point.

That doesn't happen until after graduation. Arson got as far away as possible for collage, going to study law of all things. She wanted to be a divorce lawyer. Grant stayed home to take care of his mom, and was an Art major at the local community College. Go Skeeters! He picked up a job, moved to the Dorms, and was content. At least he told himself that.

He was walking home from work when the events of saints row 1 open up. Face to face with death, it sparked something inside him again. What was an art degree going to do for him? He already knew how to draw, but it wasn't going to get him anywhere. He wasn't going to change the world flipping burgers at freckle bitches.

But, maybe he would fighting for the Saints. Julius was right. There was a problem with gangs in the row. He'd noticed it all the way back in 8th grade when he moved to the row. And he wanted to be apart of the solution.

Grant put all of his chips down on the Saints. Going as far as to quit his job and drop out of collage and using his savings on an first month's rent on an apartment. He had a month to make it.

Arson, still Gia at this time, knew none of this. She was busy selling her soul to fit in with the rich kids at college. Trying to prove that she belonged there, not only to the kids that looked down at her for her scholarship, but to herself.

She hated it there. She knew nothing about the saints. She knew Grant had made friends, and reconnected with that Johnny guy. But she thought he was thriving in college, and that he liked his job, though how someone could be happy at freckle bitches shed never know. She wished she could though. She was looking for an excuse to drop. She felt like every second she spend in this brick prison a little more of her died.

That was until one frantic late night call. "LINS DEAD, I COULDNT GET HER OUT, SHES DEAD" He was drunk and frantic. "Whos dead?" She asked, "LIN, LINS DEAD, THEY PUT US IN A TRUNK AND PUSHED US IN THE HARBOR" "Who did?!" "THE ROLLERZ" "THE WHO?!"

Yea, Grant had a lot of explaining to do in the morning. He maybe even over explained. Once Gia realized just how in over his head Grant was, she dropped out to go take care of her brother. When they were kids they always took care of eachother, and now was no different.

When she joined, she didn't really feel comfortable giving her real name though. I mean, this was a gang, they were going to be doing illegal gang shit. So, she gave the first word she could think of as a name. "Arson." And, it stuck. She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel more comfortable with that title anyway. Gia never quit fit.

Together the twins were a powerhouse. If Grant couldn't handle it, Arson could. And if you had to fight them together God help your soul. Grant will tell you he'd be nowhere if it wasn't for his sister, and Arson would agree.

Umm yea thats the "quick" rundown lol. Theyre way more fleshed out than this, I swear. If you have any questions please ask!! My inbox is always open. These are my babies and now I share them with you 💜

[chimbbles]

enemies-turned-lovers!haechan

A/N: another attempt ladies and gentlemen, once again, it's shitty and my ask is open for more shitty writings! or if you wanna be friends come hit me up pls I don't bite :( anyways, I hope you like it~ 💌

it's not that big of a deal really

it was truly an accident, but it turned into a crazy myth

and you hate him for it

it all started with someone's rooftop party

birthday boy lee donghyuck decided to throw himself a pool party, on a rooftop

everyone's invited, except for mark because he's lame

just kidding

but are we?

anyways, hell everyone in your college is invited

haechan, his nickname, is pretty popular around school

not the jock kind of popular, he just.....knows a lot of people, and they know people, and it's a typical college party

where you bring a plus one and one plus one and suddenly the party equals a school prom or something

there's even a theme smh johnny the party planner

so you're friends with mark, and he's determined to show off to haechan that he's friends with that chemistry major genius he admires so much

totally didn't invite you just to get back at him nope

anyways, it's mean but you've never heard of haechan before, despite his seemingly large following on instagram

you didn't even know you guys attended the same college

it's not that you're a total homebody and never goes out to parties, you're just....not interested in their parties

and that's strike one, when you laughed in his face when he introduced himself as the "most popular guy in school"

in your defense, you thought it was self-depreciating humour

hyuck in return, wasn't as amused as you were, maybe in private he could've taken it better, but you just snorted at him in front of like, half of his friend circle

he's not pissed, he's just ashamed?

because he talks about you so much renjun literally can't take it anymore

it's like, he knows so much about you, your birthday and cafes you like(from your social media)

heck he even knows who's the bitch you're referring to in your subtweet

it's veronica from chem class 3

but also, you don't even know he exists

fast forward and skipping through his slight, maybe a bit bigger heartache,

he's lying down and just chilling on a hammock, away from you because his ego needs to take a break from that hit

he'd by the pool with the dreamies, half of them, renjun, jaemin and jeno in the pool and jisung and chenle next to him sharing a hammock

this is what was meant by an accident, you just wanted to get to the fruit bar, when ten, this lanky dude bumps into you from nowhere, and by accident

you bump into haechan

splash splash

his balance isn't the only thing he lost when he fell face flat into the pool

apparently chenle's laugh grabbed everyone's attention, and when the one and one is put together, hyuck became the school's laughing stock for a month

his glare at your dumbfounded state was anything but forgiving

that wasn't even the end of things

this sounds like it's made up, because no one can have such bad luck, ever, in one single day

but there goes hyuck, breaking beliefs left and right

you approached him and tried to apologise for basically ruining his day

he didn't actually know what to do, because he honestly wasn't mad at you, he was mad at the situation

you can throw him into the pool 3000 times and he'd say I love you 3000

yes, he might have a minor crush on you

but he's also super embarrassed, this was supposed to be his big day, and you're here

he wants to show you the best side of him

but that doesn't translate well onto his face

he......doesn't even know what he looked like at that moment, he was just stunned

but you must've thought he was growing mad because you further apologized, and your hand motions grew more frantic

and there you go, ssstrrriiiikke three

it was by accident

but you knocked over his refreshment, yes, the one he was trying to calm himself down with from the embarrassment

it could've been worse right, the glass could've hit someone

and you should've hoped so, because then they wouldn't be sober to call the police and have the party cancelled

this, including the series of embarrassing events that happened at haechan's party became the talk of the whole campus

and more than anything you dreaded it

it painted you in a bad light, and was giving you more attention than you ever fancied

what you didn't know was how much it bugged haechan too

he's been trying to get the dreamies to shut up about it, but even if he did, the whole school was chattering about you

he thought he would've gotten the short end of the stick, seeing how he was the laughing matter at his own party

but the jokes quickly turned sour when someone started the speculation of why it happened

and it sounded crazy to him

because why would there be a why? it was an accident, and yes maybe he did feel his face get a bit red and his blood level rise

but you explained that it was complete accidents, there was no malicious intention, or intention of any kind

idiots on campus starting saying that you had a crush on haechan, but you wanted to stand out, so you did all those things on purpose to get him to notice you

it's a total lie, and hyuck has to debunk it before it gets to everyone, but he doesn't know how

this time, it was he who accidentally started something up, and it went a little like this:

"hey haechan do they like you?"

"what? no it's a myth"

he said that, in the spur of a moment, because you liking him back would be a myth only he wishes would be true

but guess which idiots got the wrong idea? the geniuses of spreading misinformation

and said misinformation spread like wild fire, deeming you a bad omen, and especially to haechan

it dealt more damage to your reputation than to you mentality

because if you were a bad omen, the first person you would be cursing is yourself, for bringing all this shit upon yourself

but also, to haechan, because you found out weeks later that he actually said it himself

you can't be more annoyed

you clearly explained to him how it all happened and that it was an accident

you even went to testify with him to prove it was an accident

how could he, knowing all this, sit still and accuse you of being a bad omen??? a bad luck charm????

not to sound dramatic, but he basically ruined your campus life, even the newcomers know of your story

back to hyuck

he's panicking, almost everyday when he has to pass by your class

he feels so guilty even though he basically didn't do anything wrong

he tried to hush down the rumours and even told some people off who were just shittalking you in the hall

like, what does you wearing that sweater have anything to do with this???

he's lost like a puppy, he wishes he had the courage to just walk up to you and come clean, and he has tried!! but he chickens out every time

and after that one time you shot him a vicious glare at the cafeteria, it was clear he wasn't high on your favourite's list and he just lose hope in trying to make amends with you

and that brings us back to present day, where it has been three months since the incident, and a new batch of freshman have flooded the school

hyuck wasn't feeling like having lunch today so he opts for a walk around the campus park, where he spots you and he's bout to run away again

when he hears some bigshot chicks calling you names

yes, still calling people names in college smh

he can't take this behaviour, because you're right there, without earshot

and he just knows they're being mean to get on your nerves

so there goes lee donghyuck, stomping over to the girls and telling them off

"oh, you wanna call people names now? well I have a lot of suggestions for you, mainly inspired by you,"

you can hear everything, because the argument got pretty ugly from there, and everyone just got excused into the counsellor room, where they're told to not be childish and have petty little fights on the school campus bla bla blah

and you know, because you silently followed after them and stood outside to eavesdrop

what else were you supposed to do when haechan, who supposedly started this whole nonsense up was defending you?

so you wait outside until they're done and you call out his name, relishing a bit in the way his whole body halts to an abrupt stop at the sound of your voice

you guys go somewhere more private, and not in front of the counsellor's office because dude no one's trying to get in there again

and you deadpan him for an explanation, because-

"yes, it's what you deserve, I know,"

"well then why did you spread lies about me??"

his eyes goes wide when he's accused, head shaking and promises he never intended to

"it's an accident, I swear. someone just asked if you liked me and I thought, what the hell? that would be a dream to like, like even if someone told me I would say it's a myth because why would you like me back, you know? like I like you but it's impossib-"

"literally shut up for a second,"

you don't mean to sound like that, but he's babbling a lot and you can't get the point, and when you ask him to repeat, his face flushes a bright pink

"I like you, and someone said you like me, and I think it's a myth, and I said it, and this happened. I'm sorry. the end."

taken aback is an understatement

but you literally walk a few steps away from him, just to clear out your mind and think

because this whole time you thought he hated you for embarrassing him at his how party when in fact he explains

that he's just embarrassed to see you because you saw him being embarrassing and that he feels guilty?

it takes you a while, but eventually, you guys sit down properly and talk it out

and you quickly find out why he's so popular, because he's a joy to hangout with, skip the parts where he mercilessly roasts you

you two grow closer by each day, spending free times together and haechan or hyuck, as he lets you call him, even walks you to your classes

the whole campus is dumbfounded, because not only is haechan walking perfectly find beside you, he's smiling and not in pain, even when he has his arms around your shoulder

it takes him a month to finally confess(because he's still a chicken), but you guys finally get together and the whole school's mind is blown

and every rumour about you is debunked immediately, and you guys are deemed the school's next power couple

"what a turn of events huh, my lucky charm?"

masterlist ask

[johnnyscancerstick]

Chap. 9

Warnings: feels, death, cursing.

Characters: Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and a few random doctors and policemen.

Notes: @watermelon-chapstick , this is what I was talking about. I should let y'all know it takes a lot to make me cry. Teared up while writing this, and I think that means it's good enough to post. Lol, I'm well aware this was meant to be a shitpost, but I don't care. I wanted to write something feelsy and you damn know well I did and tried my best. I might make more of these in the future if people like this. Or, if people want more. I decided to post it on my own, not just a repost. I still put a lot of time into it, and I wanted it on my blog on it's own! This extra note is the only thing that's different — I didn't change anything else.

Word count: 1903

As quickly as it had started, it was over. Had this really happened? Or is it some fucking fever dream because of all the painkillers those hospital people had given me? No, it couldn't be. Dreams can't simulate this kind of stuff, we just beat the Socs!

‘I can't beleive they were gonna do this without me,’ that's not the only reason I wanted to do this, that's not the only reason I threatened to stab a bitch. Multiple. It was the only one I wanted to beleive but I know it's not.

I look down at Ponyboy, who was bleeding like hell and the rest of him looked even worse. He couldn't have been used to fighting solo, clearly. I shook my head, not going to ignore the situation any longer. I could miss my chance if I did that. I bent down and grabbed his collar, turning and yanking him up a bit after I started on a dead run. “Come on!” I couldn't hear myself. “We're goin' to see Johnny.”

Pony wasn't in any shape to be running but I could just remember Johnny's voice. He wanted to see everyone, but I knew there wasn't time. Ponyboy, if he could choose anyone to see it'd be him, wouldn't it? They were such good friends, and he's the one that will cooperate the most. Goddamnit, move faster! “Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left.” don't think about that. “He wants to see you.”

I'd taken Buck's T-bird here and I didn't plan to go any slower than 110 to get back to the hospital. I got into the driver's seat and rhe second Pony was halfway in he car, I got into gear and slammed on the gas. I almost hydroplaned it across a curve and then I heard the sirins. Great, out of all the times. Think of something, Winston, think of something.

I don't even turn to the boy in the passenger's seat, but I find myself slowing down the car. “Look sick.” I say stiffly, furrowing my brows and narrowing my eyes. This could work, I don't have time for a police chase right now. “I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough.”

The policeman said something like ‘Where's the fire.’ I wasn't paying attention. I glanced at him, I cant express how mad I was that he was slowing us down. Johnny only has so long!

“The kid.” I stayed cool, or at least I think I did, pointing at Pony. “He fell over on his motorcycle and I'm takin' him to he hospital.” Pony groaned a little, and I can't tell why.

The guy by the window looked nervous and glory, this was taking too long. “Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?” Oh, hell yeah, this could work. “How would I know if he's bar or not? I ain't no doc.” I fight a smile at how good this worked out. “Yeah, we could use an escort.”

The fuzz are really stupid, these days! “Sucker!” I hiss, he went back to his car. Now we didn't have to worry about traffic, or other cops. I don't know what I was mumbling about that entire ride there, I know I was talking about Johnny.

Once we were at the hospital I slammed the door shut and ‘helped’ Pony out of the car, but the second that police officer left, we were gone down that hallway. I heard yelling but I didn't even acknowlage them, I couldn't think of anything but Johnny, to the point where I let Pony's wrist go and I know he fell far behind. I didn't have time for an elevator, I raced up the stairs and almost clipped a wall a few times.

It felt like an eternity but I finally got to Johnny's room and I was going to break down the door if it wouldn't open. “I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying.” just those words sent horrible aches in my heart and I felt my chest tighten.

No, no, no. This isn't happening, he's not dying, he's not! Johnny can't die, he can't, this can't be happening. I take out Two's switch, whipping my head toward the doctor and jabbing it in his face. I didn't flick it open until I opened my mouth and started talking. “We gotta see him.” I said, my tone scared me even more than I already was, I hadn't heard myself like ths in a long time. I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows. I tried to be intimidating, I'd never had trouble with this before but now I was all trembly and it was visible, I could barely keep my hand still. “We're gonna see him and if you give me any static, you'll end up on your own operatin' table.” I sneer, I tried my best to keep my voice down.

This dude didn't even bat an eye, the little... Oh how I wanted to tell him off, I wanted to tell him just how much I needed to get into that room.

But he took me by surprise. “You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife.” I wasn't going to press, he was letting me in and for once I didn't want to fight. I put the switch back in my pocket and pushed the door open, I ran only for a few seconds before I swore something stopped me. I stumbled forward and made sure I didn't fall, and I could see Pony walk into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Johnny was white and looked still, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and shut them tight, it's not the end! Johnny isn't dead, he's not! He's just.. He's just asleep, he'll wake up any minute now. I took a few steps forward and wiped the sweat off my lips, “Johnnycake..?” my voice was low and hoarse, and I couldn't see even though it opened my eyes. I could barely hear anything else, everything else was shut off and didn't exist at that moment. Nothing was real, this wasn't what was going on. This really can't be happening.

Johnny didn't respond and I had to say something else. I had to prompt him again, this isn't how this ends. “Johnny...” I felt the hope drain from my whole body, but that little bit came up again when he moved. “hey..” his voice, god, that tore through my soul harder than anything else had.

I walked toward him after glancing at the Christopher around my neck, “We won.” I was out of breath and it was hard to get it back, I couldn't comprehend this and I just wanted to get him to say something. “We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory.” I said, I was desperate at this point. Johnny's eyes were barely open and I couldn't tell if he could see the tears welling. I bit my lip as he just gave an unsatisfied hum, “Useless...” he croaked, “Fighting's no good...” he was so white, and I felt panic rising within me again.

No, he's dying and this isn't going to be the last thing I say to him! I gotta tell him something, something that'll make him smile, I've been keeping so much in about him all this time, how hard would it be to tell him now? When I literally have no other chance..!

I licked my lips and tried to find my voice through all the emotion, “They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all.” I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't let it break, I didn't want to cry in front of him. That would make this even worse, that would make him feel awful, that would just be the worst thing I could do right now. “Yeah..” he hadn't responded yet but for the sake of my sanity I had to act as if he did, “They're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers.”

I couldn't say it, I just couldn't, it was too hard, I tried so hard but I couldn't.. Hopefully he'll get he message. “We're all proud of you, buddy...” I managed a smile, I felt hot tears run down my face. I tries to wipe them off, but they'd just look like dweat and I wasn't going to take my eyes off Johnnycakes.

He looked so happy, his eyes lit up. I let out a half sob and kept my composure, I took a deep breath and was about to day something else, but he spoke. “Ponyboy.”

I backed up. I wasn't going to take it away, I'd forgotten Pony was there. I'd forgotten anyone was there. Johnny wanted to talk to Pony, he'd already talked to me, danmit I'm so selfish.

I don't know what he said but as I stepped closer, he just...

I broke into a grin and felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was trembling, I could barely keep myself up, I felt like the world spun around me and for some reason, I wanted to laugh.

I reached a shaky hand over and brushed his bangs off his forehead, “Never could keep that hair back.” I could hear I was under pronouncing any soft sounds and I saw everything blur around me. “That's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk...” reality was setting in and I found it hard to breathe. Johnny wasn't... He.... He was.. He's not.. No. He's fine, Johnny is fine, nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I took a quivering breath, the smile faltering. I tried and I tried to keep it up, I know this wasn't what was going on, I know he's... But no, no I won't believe this. This is NOT what's happening, it's not it's.. It's not... It can't be... Johnny can't be dead, oh he really can't be... “There what you get..” I couldn't get the words out, I whipped toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could.

“Damnit Johnny..” I didn't have the energy, I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. I ground my fist and hit the wall again, grinding my teeth and trying to do anything but think of him.

Don't think of how he used to be

Don't think of what happened

Don't think of what happened to him behind closed doors

Don't think of what he did for those kids

Don't think of him not wanting to die

Don't think of him only being sixteen

Don't think of him never leaving Tulsa

Don't think of him...

“Oh, damnit, Johnny...”

Don't think of those mocha eyes and how they lit up whenever I smiled at him.

“Don't die..”

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he was-

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he is

“Please,”

Don't think of how he would have turned out.

Don't think of how good of a person he would have ended up being.

Don't think of all the things I could have told him

Don't think of all the things thst would have made him happy, thst would have made him smile.

“Don't die...”