#i think we're living in a pre-war mentality right now

[bakerstreetdoctor]

Hm 😐

.

NGL, I'm low key mentally preparing for the war in eastern Europe to spread. The next ten or so years will be difficult, mark my words.

[radioactive-reactions]

Just a quick little idea for a reaction, could you maybe do companions (and maybe Mr. House) finding out that the Courier is a pre-war ghoul?

Of course! The New Vegas fandom has just celebrated Mr. House's 4th birthday, so consider this my small contribution.

Ghouls were anything but uncommon in the Mojave, but those who had lived through the Great War were particularly exceptional. Everyone knew about the ghoulish Courier - zombies rising from the grave made good saloon talk, after all - but only those closest to them were trusted with the knowledge of just how old they were.

Raul is just happy to have another viejo around to commiserate with. Invariably, he begins to keep the two up long into the night trading stories of the Old World - and more often than not, the Old World's failings - around the campfire. "Hey, boss, you... you remember Cuna de Lobos? Ahh, the bomb dropped right at the end of Season 91, just when Catalina was about to show everyone what she'd been keeping stashed under her eyepatch. My grandmother would have killed to see it. She could have, too."

Boone is as unflinchingly stone-faced as ever, and his thoughts are quickly summed up in three succinct words: "I pity you." There's a moment of consideration, a realization that he may have gone too far, and he tries again. "You and all the... others. There are a few in the service. You knew what came before. Saw it with your own eyes. Christ, the rest of us must be like kids playing dressup to you. In your shoes, wouldn't have bothered staying around to see how it'd all turn out. No point."

Veronica has a million questions. Try as the Brotherhood might to hoard pre-War knowledge, she's never come quite as close to a living, breathing repository of it as she is now. "Wait, wait, back up, like... five steps. You're telling me you could walk into the bunker anytime you please and totally school Elder McNamara and you've just been sitting on that?! Oh my God! Okay, okay - is it true that every kid back then was raised by a robot slave? A-and did you really have to ritually encase all your food in Jell-O before you ate it?"

Cass gives an impressed whistle, looking the Courier up and down just to make sure they haven't actually been feral this entire time. "Fuck me. Uh, that's not an invitation - I don't want anything falling off. But that'd make you, what, two-hundred-something? Older than the Republic, the way they tell it. We've got some Rangers like that, supposedly the ultimate badasses if you look past the bad knees and the death rattle... but between you and me, I think you've got a sturdier claim to the title."

Arcade freezes up at the news, getting that awkward, wavering smile he always flashes when he's backed into a corner. "Wow. Uh... hey. Just so we're clear, I in no way endorse - o-or endorsed - the whole Enclave 'cleansing of the world's tainted' thing. I'd like to think that goes without saying, given the way my life has gone since then, but... just so we're clear. Uh, if you need any kind of specialized care, please just say the word. I've given Beatrix enough topical collagen to fill a bathtub... if one inexplicably wanted to do something like that."

Lily doesn't quite seem to get it, bless her heart, but enough careful explanation does slowly get her to regard the Courier as more of an equal than a grandkid. "MY MISTAKE! YOU DON'T LOOK A DAY OVER A HUNDRED, DEAR. WHATEVER YOU USE, I'VE JUST GOT TO GET DOCTOR HENRY TO MAKE ME SOME! IF I HADN'T MADE A PROMISE TO MY HUSBAND, REST HIS SOUL, I COULD JUST EAT YOU UP."

Mr. House predictably uses this as ammunition to further his own plans. There's no change in the face on the flickering screen, but whatever cold mental calculus drives him moves the Courier up a few spaces in his strictly regimented list of priorities. "Then you, more than anybody, understand what we have to lose - or rather, what we have to gain. Put another way, you are in a unique position to understand the resources at my disposal. Imagine the luxuries you enjoyed before the barbarians in Washington reduced you to this base, hardscrabble existence among the ruins of their shortsightedness - and I think you'll appreciate that ruins isn't simply a turn of phrase here. Imagine having them again: not just the house and the car, not just the material indulgences, but the structure that made them possible - will continue to make them possible. We alone know what's been lost, and we alone hold the potential to see it returned."

[luna-rainbow]

i saw someone recently say that they preferred sambucky over stevebucky (either platonic or romantic tbh) because they felt bucky was happier not living under the shadow of his former self? suggesting that he intentionally spent most of him time post winter soldier away from steve because he didn't want to be compared to a former version of himself that he couldn't return to? I'm a big lover of stevebucky so the idea that steve wouldn't be able to stop comparing (even if subconsciously) post-ws bucky to pre-ws bucky made me question the ship slightly? or that bucky was actually happier without steve in the readjustment process bc he could become his own person without preconceived ideas of what he should be like hanging over his head. I've read a few fics about this and i kinda wanted to know what u thought - would steve's knowledge of the old bucky affect their relationship so negatively that bucky would be happier alone/with people unfamiliar with who he was before (sorry for the rambling question)

Thank you lovely for the very interesting ask! I love these kind of hypotheticals!

First and foremost, don't ever let anyone convince you that you're only allowed to ship one pairing. A lot of people DO only ship one ship, and kudos to them, but you are not a bad fan if you want to ship Bucky with multiple people. Heck, I got into Stucky via Sambucky, and uh…anyway, here I am.

The idea that "Bucky stayed away from Steve because he didn't want to be compared to old Bucky" is one of my favourite angsty "loss of innocence" tropes to explore -- because yes, that's going to be one of Bucky's major insecurities after the Winter Soldier. He isn't the same person as before and no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to go back to who he was before.

The absolutely fascinating part, then, is how a fanfic writer decides to address this. So yeah, I can see this as the jumping board for a SamBucky story (or any other non Stucky ship).

But this is also a concept that not only fits in well within the Stucky fanon/narrative, it's also crucial to explore in order to bring the two of them back together. How does Steve accept that Bucky has changed, and how does Bucky come to trust that Steve accepts this changed version of him?

The answer is, for me, this is Steve we're talking about. Steve with all his tenacity and empathy and loyalty. This is Steve who's known Bucky since childhood, who probably knows Bucky better than the current Bucky remembers himself. This is also a Steve has fought one of the bloodiest wars in history. He is young, but he's not naive. The people of his time didn't have the right words for it - but he has seen a lot of mental health issues on the field. He's come out on the other end of the war still believing in the goodness of humans (his "I'm willing to bet I'm not" speech), so I have no doubt he will look at Bucky and see that -- yeah, you've changed, you've had terrible things happen to you for well over half a century, but you are also still the same kind soul that I grew up with, and that kindness is what's most important; I can still see him in you, even if you are different, and I believe you deserve all the love I can give you.

And you know what, there IS canon evidence that Steve believes in Bucky, believes in the goodness that couldn't be burned away with 70 years of brainwashing. Sam saying to Steve - (Bucky) isn't the kind you save and he won't know you - and Steve replying without an ounce of doubt in his voice, "He will." Or Steve going after Bucky to save him from the SIT because "he'd have done the same for me".

I think another crux is that recent gif set - the "I'm following the little guy from Brooklyn" speech. That was a vow - it was Bucky saying "I loved you (platonically/romantically/wte) when you were a poor disabled scruffy kid in the dumps, and I will love you just the same even if you're a buff blue-eyed Adonis." Their story, as always, encircles each other's - it is now Steve's turn to say "I loved you when you were a nerdy protective flirt and I will love you just the same even if you're disabled and scruffy and dealing with horrendous PTSD". I think that vow also highlights just how important Steve was, even at that point, to Bucky, which means…their loyalty will always draw them back to each other. Once Bucky sees Steve has faith in him, he will have faith in himself to rebuild his identity in a way that's true to him.

It really depends on the writer, but most versions I’ve seen in which Steve and Bucky separate (over this issue) write Steve as either obtuse, selfish or emotionally immature…which is not how I read him to be. I think he has the emotional maturity to accept that Bucky will have similarities but will also have stark differences to who he once was...but then, time leaves its mark on everyone it touches, not just Bucky (I kinda touched on that concept on my "Learning to Want" fic *self plug*). It's a rough road and on some days there's going to be more setbacks than progress, and yeah on some days Steve is going to get frustrated and upset and maybe even a little defeatist, but I think both he and Bucky have that tenacious survivor streak in them that will pull them through, especially if they're together.

[turtlemagnum]

i think part of why i like kreia so much and why she speaks to me so deeply as a character is that in so many ways, we're a lot alike. genuinely, i think that if i were in the exile's situation, i'd get along with her a lot better than you tend to ingame. a major facet of that is that we both have fairly similar, though deeply contradictory views on morality, including how it pertains to the force. personally speaking, i don't think morality is a valid concept when held up to any serious amount of scrutiny, and i know when i say that, a lot of people are gonna think "oh, this guy's a randian asshole who thinks people are fundamentally selfish or some bullshit like that", and to put it succinctly: no. i don't believe people are fundamentally anything, i believe that any definition that can be posited won't preclude some manner of being that i'd consider to be equally a person. now, when i say i don't believe in morality, i don't mean it in an edgy "uhm actually we shouldn't have civilization and we should all be based epic raiders", what i mean is that most of what morality fundamentally is, is just people trying to mental gymnastics their pre-existing beliefs and biases into something remotely coherent as an ethical framework. meanwhile, personally, i reject that, and act based off of what feels like the best option, being a man of an intensely instinctual and intuitive nature it's rarely led me astray. to put it in non pretentious terms, i'm running based off of vibes, yo. regardless of this, i still tend towards choosing what most would consider the "moral" option, for two primary reasons. one, is that despite my talk of rejecting the dogma of moralism, it's hard to fully remove the system of beliefs you've had beaten into you for as long as you've been capable of thought. but, there's also the more egoistic justification, of the simple fact that helping people tends to make them want to help you, being nice to people tends to make them want to be nice to you, since kindness in all good relationships goes both ways. and i think that's where i fundamentally contradict with kreia's teachings. her basic viewpoint is similar, of morality being a construct, but for her, it's one to be manipulated for your advantage. to her, helping people weakens them, kindness makes you soft, and altruism is a myth. to me, even if altruism in its purest form isn't truly attainable, you can achieve the same results via mutual aid. in regards to the force, for as long as i've been a star wars fan, i've been dubious of the fundamental overt simplicity of "light side" and "dark side", but i think that the KOTOR games (particularly KOTOR2) handled this really well for the most part, insofar as Their Main Guy (revan) fully embracing the whole of the force, rather than pledging blind loyalty to either side. the problem with both the jedi and the sith is that fundamentally, they pursue a wholeness that they'll never achieve due to a cultish shunning of half the universe, half of all emotions, half of life itself, and i think it's genuinely better to be a whole person, who lives with both the light and the dark, to be an actual human being rather than shunning any type of emotion for not being "correct". so yeah, when someone says kreia was right/had a point, they're correct. however, when someone says kreia is a deeply flawed character, they're also correct. that's why she's so well written, she's right about so much, but wrong about so much too, and it all blends together so well

[misqnon]

big long vent under cut

i'm really tired.

of this pandemic, of the world's reaction to it, of peoples worst sides coming out, of people moving on, of people acting like its back to normal now, of people not accommodating, of people having no sympathy or flexibility in a terrible time in the world.

and i don't just mean removing mask mandates and reopening the public. I mean people won't even accommodate for mental health issues or the sheer utter pressure everyone is under right now. even less than accommodating, they can't even lift the pressure or try to be a little more understanding. I saw a classmate say with everyone that's going on we should just give everyone an A this semester and be done with it.

I know that's an exaggeration, but God, the point they were making hits too hard. as a university student I am without a fucking break these past 2 years. i'll come back to this point.

im tired, and I'm angry. in fact I'm infuriated. stupid word, but I'm feeling a stupid fucking feeling. it's not that people haven't complained about the pandemic still being here- people have made the same point I'm making now. But I haven't see anyone say it with more than jjst a disappointed tone. I'm saying it with way more emotion than that.

every single day I get up and struggle to get out of bed from how utterly tired I am, and this is with 8 to 9 hours of sleep every night. I walk through the snow and slush to my car and I spent 10 minutes defrosting it and shaving it of ice. I drive to work and school with idiots who can't drive and on roads so full of potholes it should actually be a lawsuit. i go to classes for 10-11 hours a day, every day, and the workload is enormous and no less than it was pre-covid, if not more (I'm not kidding. they've incorporated things from covid times in IN ADDITION to the previous normal workload, so now there's even more to do and think about)

I consider taking the bus every day but never do, and I walk 15 minutes to my car in the snow and wind again to drive home.

The worst and best moment of every day is finally getting in my car after all of this and taking off my mask(s) to realize how raw my ears are from the mask straps, how cold my face is, how my nose is running and has gotten snot all over the inside of my mask,which has smeared on my face, how my bones ache, my nose has a red line where my mask sat.

And I sit there and arrange my shit and get ready to drive home where I can rest for only a couple hours in between chores and tasks and more homework before I go to sleep and do it all again.

the professors don't care that we've lived through, and are living through, a pandemic. We lived through an insurrection. We're possibly about to live through another world War. And aside from these major things we live through social issue after social issue of minorities being fucking pummeled into submission and oppression

But thr workload is the same. The grading is the same. There is no "these kids have been through a lot lately, I'm gonna grade them a little easy." there isn't even a lenient attendance policy anymore. Some classes I'm in only allow 2 absences per semester before you go down an entire letter grade on your third absence. 4 absences in one semester and you fail the class.

In one class we all hate and have been struggling in we had a mechanical issue (nkt the students fault) that affected everyone that set everyone back a few weeks. But the amount of work to be turned in at the end of the semester hasn't changed despite this.

our school doesn't require the vaccine, it doesn't regulate large frat parties, it doesn't even allow workers to tell people to wear a mask even tho8gh it's required.

classes are 100% in person and full capacity despite everything.

but they still want us to to as much work as we used to and at the same quality.

We are all fucking tired. Actually. We are fucking exhausted. I feel like a fucking machine that just repeats work over and over again every day and I'm breaking more and more. More tired each day. But the world doesn't give the compassion it should in response to all this.

[valkyrie-echo]

Project Echo, Part 2: Chapter 15 (The Prank War)

Part 2 Summary: A new enemy surfaces with a team of the Avengers’ greatest foes, hand-picked for their destruction. Meanwhile, Inessa’s pre-Hydra past begins to surface, casting doubt on where her loyalties truly lie.

Chapter 15: The Prank War

"OK, that's weird," Tony came down to his makeshift lab after the end of the movie to work through a few equations before the night was over. What he found was Clint, sitting half in the shadows.

Clint slipped off his stool and approached Tony slowly, cautiously. "I have a proposition for you."

Tony raised an eyebrow, "Speak, parrot... Wait, that didn't make sense."

"I was about to say," Clint frowned, the air of mystery was abruptly gone.

"What do you want?"

"Natasha has become a problem that must be dealt with. She has allies, powerful ones, ones that would destroy me if I stepped out of line."

Tony nodded, understanding at last, "You're looking for an alliance. Why should I help you?"

"Because I can help you. Your enemy, like mine, sleeps in the same room as you. I mean to declare war, but only if I know I can trust my team."

He considered it for a long time, "There are certainly strategic advantages... Deal." they shook on it. Clint grinned wickedly.

Sam turned back from the stairs to the barn and hit Banner on the shoulder, "Clint and Tony are teaming up. You and me take them on?"

"Yeah, sure."

Natasha flipped through some DVDs, trying to pick a movie for the Avengers still up for a second round, "Teams of two then?"

"Sounds good to me," Banner nodded.

Bucky was busy making several fresh bags of popcorn. He poured one bag into a bowl and tossed another in the microwave. "Hey Thor," Bucky walked halfway out of the kitchen to call down the hallway.

"Yes, James?"

"In the interest of preventing domestic violence, want to be on my team?"

There was a whirl of wheels and Thor slid into the hallway on his computer chair, "To what are you referring?"

"Prank war," Natasha clarified.

Thor brightened immediately, "Of course! I know many practical jokes!" he frowned for a moment, "Although, many may be fatal for Midgardians..."

Bucky laughed loudly, "We're so going to win."

"Not if we have anything to say about it," Natasha glanced at Steve, "right teammate?"

Steve considered the offer and nodded, "Why not?" he glanced over at Inessa, still sitting alone on the couch, ignoring them. "Who would you like to team up with? You get your pick."

Inessa crossed her arms and refused to answer. She had to train with these people to get her powers back, she didn't have to be friendly. Mallory just rolled her eyes, "She'll be wildcard. Trust me, you all don't stand a chance. Nadi- Nessie- is a pro. Just don't play cards against her."

"Too late," Natasha smiled. She glanced through the DVDs again and set them back on the shelf, "Someone else chose, nothing's catching my attention."

Banner raised his hand, "I think I know one Nessie would enjoy. It's called 'Gattaca'."

"Go for it," Banner stood and retrieved the keyboard that tied in to JARVIS' digital media database.

Bucky finished up with the popcorn and began to pass out the newly-filled bowls. He tipped in to Thor's room and pulled the Asgardian from his computer by wheeling him out the door and sliding the chair across the room towards the television, "Stop asking google if Christine knew the Angel was the Phantom, you're not going to find an answer."

When dawn came around, all morning runners were shaking tacks out of their shoes. "Amateur hour," Natasha scoffed. She walked down the hall to Inessa's door and knocked before opening. Mallory and Inessa were up and ready to go- begrudgingly.

"So, you have any big plans for this prank war?" Mallory chose to fill the silence. She could see Nadya was on the tipping point- if the Avengers played their cards right her temper could break that day and then everything would be right with their world again.

"Took us all night, but I think Steve and I have a few good ones worked out."

There was a screech of feedback through the comms and Natasha and Inessa both winced. A moment later Sam came on, shouting, "YOU COULD HAVE BROKEN MY ANKLE WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU SADISTS DID THAT!"

Natasha burst out laughing. She opened her comm and replied innocently, "That was meant for Bucky, not you."

"HE PUSHED ME INTO IT!" Sam was shouting from the bottom of a 6 foot pit that had been covered by a tarp and sand. They were jogging as usual when Bucky suddenly stopped. Once Sam caught up to him he lightly shoved him to the left and- crash.

"Rule number one of a prank war- change your routine," Steve was definitely enjoying this. Natasha and the girls ran through the opposite end of the cornfield as they usually did. Inessa saw something shining in front of them and grabbed Mallory's arm. They slowed to a stop. Natasha glanced back and missed the flash of metal- she ran smack into the invisible barrier. They were prepared this time for the feedback from the comms and the cursing.

"Rule number two," Tony came over comms now, "anticipate rule number one."

Meal times were "truce" times- no Avenger dared mess with the edibles, that was just uncivilized. As soon as breakfast was over, however, the melee began again. Steve went outside with a book to read as Natasha trained Sam, but a bucket of water was waiting, balanced on top of the door. Thor roared with laughter as the bucket crashed onto his head and Steve cursed, dripping, and started shaking out his book. Before he thought to move out of place, a second trap was triggered by the slamming of the screen door behind him- a precariously hung bottle fell from the rafters above the porch and nailed him in the groin. While Steve's language reached truly impressive heights, Bucky came out and nodded appreciatively at his work.

"Rule number three- set two traps."

Inessa pushed past the buffoons in a fresh set of exercise clothes. She paced the edge of the sparring ring, waiting for Natasha. After a moment, Nat climbed out through an upstairs window, eyed her landing carefully, and jumped down. She didn't know Steve had already triggered the trap over the door, and she was entirely unwilling to be pranked again.

"Alright," Natasha dusted off her sweatpants and met Inessa's eyes. It was a weird feeling- looking straight into her eyes without a flinch or really any emotion save rage. If nothing else, taking away her powers had pissed off the kid enough to get her past the worst of her fear. She was out for blood now- a whole new kind of dangerous. "First things first, I want to see how you fight. Or even if you can fight." she kept her tone cold, emotionless. No babying- Inessa was the one who said (signed) that she could handle training, it was up to her to keep her end of the deal.

Without further warning, Natasha attacked. She kept her movements deliberately slow, made stupid mistakes, anything to give Inessa a challenge, but keep the advantage in her court. That didn't mean she let more than a couple hits land though- and those that did were to gauge her strength. Several Avengers watched from the porch, intrigued.

Inessa opened with a swing to Natasha's head- quickly countered by a strike to the stomach. She kicked out at Natasha's knee- a move that, if it had landed, would have dislocated or even broken the kneecap- not that it would ever land against more than an untrained street thug. Inessa spun around her, keeping her feet moving at all times, forcing Natasha to spin as well. It was a good strategy, but there was a lag in her movement while she spun. Nat made a mental note.

After five minutes of the mock-sparring, Natasha swept low and knocked Inessa's legs from her. The girl fell, panting. "You're keeping your hands too far from your body, you go from move to move too slowly and in a predictable sequence, there's no force in any of your hits, and I can tell that spinning move is one you use with your abilities, and you don't have those for now so don't rely on it. Also," she checked a bloodless scratch on her arm, "you fight with your fingernails. It's probably something you picked up when you were with the wolf. Only a good idea if you have blade-tipped gloves, otherwise you'll break a nail off and then you're the one in pain. With your abilities, could you form talons like what Nadya had and have them as strong?"

Inessa nodded. She wasn't speaking still, but more out of spite than fear.

"Good, I'll train you with the gloves after you've mastered basic hand-to-hand. You fight like a kid used to living on the streets, it's my job now to fix that. We'll start building muscle first. Now, put your leg out in front of you." Inessa did as she was told, "No, straight out, right angle to the other leg." it was difficult, but she managed something close enough for Natasha. "Good," Nat pulled a timer out of her pocket and set it on the ground in front of Inessa, "That's going to go off every five minutes for the next half hour. When it beeps, switch legs, then switch back. Keep them up though, or I restart the entire thing. It's how I started, and it'll feel like hell, but you'll build muscles you never knew you had."

Natasha turned away and called Sam down for his regular training. Mallory's mouth was hanging open, "Wait, so I have you to thank for that? They made us do that for weeks at SHIELD! Worst three months of my life!"

"But it worked, didn't it?" Natasha smiled.

Mallory considered it, "Actually, yeah. Still sucks though." she winked to Inessa who already was having trouble balancing and lifted her own leg in a show of support.

"Tip among friends?" Tony stopped Bucky as he walked into the barn, eating from a large tub of mayonnaise. "Vanilla pudding in the mayo jar is too cliche, everyone knows that one now. You've got to modern-up your game or you're toast."

Bucky grumbled, "I was hoping to get Sam with this one."

"You've got a handicap- you and Thor? You're the weakest team. At least Steve has Natasha to help, you and Thor just swirl around the bad ideas." he patted Bucky's metal shoulder, "You'll get there, not in time for this prank war, but maybe in the next."

The Winter Soldier just sighed, disappointed. He picked at he pudding some more, then offered it to Tony, "You want some at least? It's a shit-ton of pudding, and I grew up in the Depression. Something like this was beyond gold to us back then, I'd hate to see it go to waste."

"Sure thing," Tony took custody of the pudding tub. On an impulse, he sniffed it, then laughed at Bucky's confused expression, "Just in case you were crazy enough to eat actual mayo as a prank." Tony took a small scoop, then a much larger one. A fowl taste filled his mouth and he began to choke.

Bucky jumped out of the way as Tony hurled the mayo jar at him, "Vanilla pudding in the mayo jar was old when I was young, sonny boy, but a layer of vanilla on top of garlic mayonnaise? Your father taught me that little jewel." he walked away, cackling.

By midday Inessa was considering taking a knife to the implant again. Anything but this new torture. Her legs were jelly, and Natasha was fast on the way to making her arms useless as well by having her hold them out to the sides with a small bag of sand in each. Mallory, familiar with this one too, assured her it would get easier- around a month from then when the bags were filled to weigh five pounds. Natasha was brutal.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Clint came running out of the house with nothing but a towel wrapped around his bottom half. He was a slight green-yellow color, and it was dripping onto the towel as well. "WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT? THE SHOWER IS A SACRED SPACE!" Steve covered his nose at a strange odor.

Banner stood up from one of the lawn chairs around the fire pit and walked over to high-five Sam in the sparring ring. Natasha raised her eyebrows, amused, "Chicken bouillon in the shower head?"

"A whole brick of it," Sam said proudly.

Before dinner every Avenger had scored more points (though no one was really keeping track).

Bucky and Thor duct-taped an air-horn to the pedestal of the computer chair in the main farmhouse, then raised it to maximum. When Steve sat down and adjusted the chair, he nearly broke the desk jumping back up. A few moments later, when Sam was trying to shake out some indoor rugs during clean-up duty, Thor summoned a thunderstorm to drench only him- and it followed him whenever he was outdoors for two hours.

Banner and Sam got their revenge on the two though- Thor left his sandals woefully un-defended, and were he not a God, he would have broken his neck in the fall down the stairs when he rushed down to stop a fight in the workshop, slipped on the sandals, and found that the tips were nailed to the floor. The resulting crash and screams of rage sent the two into hiding until dinner time. It didn't matter- they'd already left a box of chocolates sitting out next to the groceries on the porch (left there by Clint as he unloaded the car for Natasha to use). The only catch (which Clint discovered instead of the intended target- Natasha) was that once you opened the lid of the box, the bees imprisoned inside made it very clear how un-funny they found the joke to be.

Clint's partnership with Tony didn't bear as much fruit as both expected. The shield in the middle of the running path that morning had pretty much been their best idea. Banner's afternoon nap on the porch gave them the opportunity to field-test a new heat-activated adhesive (which performed above expectations. Banner's newly-waxed back as a result almost ended with a Hulk-out). Beyond that though they were mostly on the receiving end. Tony went through nearly his entire tube of toothpaste, wondering all the while why it wasn't putting a dent in the garlic overdose in his mouth before he realized Bucky or Thor had also gotten to it with the spices. Clint's bowstrings had been covered in some sort of wax which ended up making his fingers slip off the string mid-draw and made him give himself a black eye.

Natasha and Steve were the golden team, or so everyone thought. They hit Sam with the hunting trap (though that one was meant for Bucky), stapled the collar of Tony's shirt to his worktable when he fell asleep on it (the fall out from that is what sent Thor head-first down the stairs), re-packed the shower-head with glitter as soon as Clint thought it was clean (now he was sparkly and smelled like chicken soup!), covered Banner's back in honey instead of aloe after his little waxing experience, replaced Thor's insect-repellant with sugar water (which would pay off later that night), and, of course, Steve had already gotten Bucky the day before with a well-spent three hours arranging and then attaching tiny magnets to his arm while he claimed to be out looking for Inessa (Mallory wasn't as good of a liar as she thought- he could see Inessa sneaking around in her room from outside).

By the time May showed up to collect Mallory, everyone was exhausted and ready to declare Natasha the winner- the only one to be pranked just once.

Inessa walked (as best she could) Mallory out to the helicopter hand-in-hand. "Give it a chance, alright? I promise you, it's not going to be as bad as you think."

"I'll try," Inessa promised.

Mallory pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek, "Thank you for not being dead," her eyes welled up with tears she couldn't suppress, "I really thought I'd lost you, little sister."

Inessa smiled as she pulled away. Ever since they were five they'd called one another 'sister', she didn't realize it until Mallory spoke, but she had never thought she'd hear that again- and it meant the world to her. "Be safe, big sister."

"You too," Mallory wiped her eyes quickly and called out to the Avengers watching from the porch, "Take care of her or I'll come back here and kick all your asses!" they waved and she climbed into the helicopter next to Agent May. The older woman picked up a box and handed it to her with a wink. She passed it to Inessa, "Make me proud."

The chopper blades began to churn and Inessa backed away quickly. She waved and watched until the chopper vanished from sight. She had been afraid when her friend left she'd go back to how she had been- more closed off, scared, disconnected. But the strength was still there. Inessa just had to be reminded of what it felt like to be Nadya again. There was still a lot of work to be done, but it didn't seem so overwhelming now that she knew she had a friend. Before the others came to her, she opened the box and looked inside- then suppressed a wicked grin.

"The food truce still stands, right?" Bucky asked wearily as the group picked at their stew.

"Yeah, why?" Tony was the cook of the day, and he was actually very proud of the fact that he resisted tampering with everything- especially after what Bucky had done to him.

Natasha lifted up a spoonful and let it drip back into the bowl, "So it's supposed to taste like this?"

"I told you all I'm not a cook, it's never been my forte, you insisted my name be in the hat."

As one, the Avengers and Inessa took a dinner roll. "Would it offend, Tony Stark, if I had pop-tarts for dinner?" Thor enjoyed the little pastries still.

"I would be offended if we didn't order some pizzas instead of choking this down," Tony wasn't ashamed to admit it tasted like shit.

Steve stood up, "I'll call, who wants what?" It took twenty minutes more to sort through everyone's orders and find compromises, then Steve went down the hall to the study. No sooner was he out of the kitchen than they heard a bizarre scream. Everyone jumped up and ran into the hall. Steve was laying on the floor, twitching. Natasha checked his pulse, he was fine, but his whole body was in spasms. He groaned as they subsided, "Who... Put... Nat's... Tazer... Darts... On... The... Handle?" he had to pant the words out.

Clint's mouth fell open. He inspected the door carefully- no evidence of any of Natasha's lovingly named "Widow-Bites". Banner retrieved a pair of rubber cleaning gloves from the kitchen and pushed through the crowd. He opened the den door quickly and slipped in. Sure enough- on the back of the doorknob was a small blue disk. Banner hit the center of it and deactivated it. He peeled it away from the door and held it up. "Natasha, come on- we already voted you the winner!"

"I didn't do it!" she protested, laughing now at Steve.

"I'm your teammate!" he grumbled as he got to his feet.

"I swear! Come on-" Natasha waved for him to follow, "You order pizza," she called to Banner. She led Steve, Sam, Bucky, and Tony upstairs to her room. When Natasha grabbed the handle of her door (to retrieve her case of the "Bites" and prove none were missing), she was launched back into the boys. The shock wasn't at any sort of dangerous level, but it was enough to smart and piss her off, "WHAT THE HELL?"

Three more shouts came from downstairs- more victims. "How many doors did you booby-trap?" Tony was incredulous.

"THIS ISN'T ME!" Natasha snapped.

Another angry scream came from downstairs a moment later, "WE WERE JUST IN HERE WHO PUT A WIDOW-BITE ON THE KITCHEN SINK?" Poor Clint- for someone who enjoyed playing pranks he had certainly been the victim of several that day.

By the time the pizza boy arrived every Avenger was on the rampage, trying to figure out who had trapped all the doors. Banner had taken his rubber gloves off to dial the phone- and they promptly vanished. Even sitting on the couch became a hazard- that was how Sam and Tony were finally hit. Inessa had the right idea- at some point in the chaos she simply sat in the middle of the livingroom on the hardwood and refused to budge. The pizza had to be retrieved by Bucky- who's metal arm had fallen off and vanished- he still didn't know how or where it was. He'd gotten it jammed in a door and the next thing he knew he came away but it didn't. When he'd broken into the room (and been severely shocked for his pains), there was no-one there and the window was open.

The pizza boy was slightly afraid of the manic look in Bucky's eyes, either that or by the screams of those still being hit with wave after wave of electric shock. "Electric short of some kind," Bucky tried to explain, "Nothing major."

"Oh," the kid nodded, pretending to understand, "Um, ok. Hey, this was in the middle of the front gate, by the way- I think the mail man just got lazy this time. It happens." he handed Bucky a round metal tin- an old film reel?

"Thanks, keep the change," Bucky tipped generously enough that he hoped the boy wouldn't draw too much attention to the farm.

"Thank you, sir!" he grinned from ear-to-ear, "Oh, and hey! I like the lightning rod, very 'Terminator'!" the kid ran back to his car and Bucky frowned.

"Lightning rod?" he walked out of the house and looked up. On the top of the highest peak was his metal arm, "SON OF A BITCH!"

Inessa kept her poker face throughout the mayhem. Mallory had given her twenty of those darts (donated by SHIELD for the prank-war). Bucky's arm? Well, that was just a matter of seeing an opportunity and taking it (literally). After he struck her, when she went to bring him out of the loft, he'd removed his arm. Inessa had a photographic memory, and it turned out she had just the right touch too. She sat in the middle of the floor, a picture of innocence, and accepted her dinner while the others tried to find all of the tazer darts.

"Pizza guy thinks the mailman left this, anyone claiming responsibility?" Bucky held the film canister up as though it were alive and dangerous.

"Not mine, scouts honor," Tony was exhausted- they all were- from the stress and strain of the day. In all they found twelve of the little darts, and prayed that was the end of them. The other Avengers denied any sort of involvement with the canister as well.

"I think I've got an old projector upstairs," Clint gingerly stood and went to retrieve the heavy case from the attic.

Bucky pried the lid off the case and braced for something horrible to happen- but inside was, as advertised, a reel of film. He picked it up and read the label on it, "Projekt Rebirth, German spelling, dated 1938."

"Huh?" Steve came over to check the reel, "I'm Project Rebirth, and it certainly wasn't 1938." he thought through it for a moment, "Wait- OK, I might know what this is. Before he worked with SHIELD, Doctor Erskine worked in a lab with Red Skull, it's how Skull got his powers. He tested the serum on himself."

"Got it!" Clint came back into the room with the large hard-sided case. He stood back and let Bucky and Steve figure out how to make it work and load in the film- it was from their era after all.

"Why is someone sending us Red Skull's old home tapes?"

Natasha rolled her eyes when Bucky pointed the projector at a blank wall and focused the reel, "What the hell kind of a joke is this? Which one of you two monkeys thought it would be funny to play with photoshop?"

"Do you know that kid?" Clint asked, incredulous. She looked very familiar, but he couldn't quite pinpoint it. She'd have to be at least in her late 80s, early 90s now, she looked to be ten in the footage. The girl was bone-thin, probably some kid brought in from the streets. Erskine and the Doctor who would one day be Red Skull- Johann Schmidt- appeared to be discussing something. The kid coughed and what could have been blood sprayed out. Erskine immediately went to her to dab at her mouth and comfort the sick child.

"You did this one, didn't you?" Natasha glared at Clint, "It's not funny, just weird."

"What's weird?" Tony was incredulous. The footage jumped- now the kid was in a machine.

"That looks like what they put me into, just a more basic version," Steve frowned as the doors closed and lights began to flash around the girl. When it opened, when the smoke cleared, the girl looked less skeletal. She looked strong. Almost like a different child.

A man went into the machine next, but Natasha ignored the video, "Fess up, which one of you thought this would be funny?"

"What are you talking about?" Sam was thoroughly confused.

"Like you don't know that's me. Come on, even SHIELD doesn't have pictures of me at that age to use for an edit. Who found what where?"

"Nat, I don't think any of us-" Steve looked around at the others. Everyone shook their head. Even Inessa looked confused and concerned.

Natasha was just pissed, "Look, by that age I was already in Black Widow training in the Red Room, and I didn't leave until I was twenty at least. So which one of you found Red Room footage? Huh? That was a horrific place. You shouldn't even use that stuff as a joke."

"JARVIS, send a suit in to check the footage for edit points," Tony spoke into his comm. Everyone watched the footage in silence until the suit arrived- young Natasha fighting the older man, improving day by day. There was a shot of her standing with one leg out in front of her- just like she'd had Inessa do.

A memory jumped out at Steve as the suit turned off the footage and collected the reel for scanning. They'd just gotten Bucky sedated (very much against his will) for the operation that would remove the metal arm Hydra grafted to his flesh. He was talking to Coulson, hung up, and suddenly Natasha was dragging him out of the Tower to go on some idiotic shopping trip- a thin excuse to just get him out and take his mind off of things. He'd tried to wrench free from her grip, but couldn't. Bucky and I are the only super-soldiers, right? he remembered being suddenly unsure of that. The thought sent chills down his spine. In a way, he knew the answer before JARVIS even spoke.

"There has been no tampering that I may detect. This is the original film strip. Cuts made to the footage and tape reconnecting several different scenes is consistent with the date indicated on the label."

Natasha couldn't accept that, "It's not real. I know it's not. I was trained in the Red Room in the 80s, I worked for the KGB for twenty- no wait-"

"We met on-mission in the late 90s," Clint prompted softly.

"Well I know I worked for the KGB for twenty years, at least, before that, and I trained for at least ten-"

"The math doesn't line up. You'd be in your 40s, 50s at least." Bucky looked down at his hands.

"No, but-" Natasha ran through her memories quickly, trying to find the point of error. She must have miss-counted time at some point, doubled something. It had been a long day, she was frazzled, she'd made a mistake. The video wasn't possible. It just wasn't.

"JARVIS, you have Nat's DNA on file?" Tony wouldn't look her in the eyes either.

"Yes, sir."

"Compare it to Bucky and Steve's. Specifically the super-soldier anomalies."

No one spoke for the full twenty minutes it took JARVIS to run his tests, then re-run them when the Avengers rejected the results. "With a 0.00001% error probability, Miss Romanoff's DNA does include the same genetic abnormalities as Mister Barnes, yet lacks the same mutations as Mister Rogers. It would appear at some point she was subjected to the unfinished version of the super soldier serum."

Banner chose to be the voice of reason, impossible as all this seemed, "For Red Skull to know the serum worked and test it on himself, he had to have seen it in action. Natasha, I'm sorry, but considering the number they did on Bucky, is it possible they did the same thing to you too? Once upon a time?"

"No, no, it's not- it's not possible. JARVIS, play back the reel, the last cut."

The suit turned to face the wall and projected the newly-scanned footage from it's internal memory. The last clip came up- Natasha, dancing. The Red Room, as a cover, doubled as a dance studio. Every Black Widow agent was part of the same ballet class- grace and death, all they'd been taught. She had hoped the last clip would show that place. She studied the dancers faces as closely as she could given the age of the footage. She remembered all of them- most died before their training was complete. Duels to the death were a weekly occurrence, and Natasha was top of her class. She was perhaps twelve in this clip. She remembered that day, that dance. Every detail was perfect- but it couldn't have been that long ago. She tried to remember exactly how long she'd been with the KGB, the time seemed much longer than it could have, yes, but- she wasn't that old.

"If it was real, I'd remember. No matter what they did. I've been around Thor's healing stones just like the rest of you. Bucky remembers. If it was true, I would too."

"Not if you suppressed them yourself," Thor's voice was soft.

"This is a shitty prank, you should all be ashamed of yourselves!" Natasha stormed off up the stairs, leaving everyone in silence.

Clint waited until he heard the bedroom door slam, "Let's call it a night- yeah?"

"I'll try to find what I can," Tony promised as the group disbursed. The cheery mood was gone.

Even Inessa was too shaken to hold on to her rage- when Sam held her bedroom door open for her she actually thanked him- it was a whisper, but it was something.

Over the next few hours there were several shouts and a "NOT COOL!" from Clint as the Avengers found the other eight tazer darts Inessa had hidden in their beds. She was just grateful no one knew she'd been the one to plant them.

Chapter 16: The Shrink