#i think things are probably a lot safer now what with greater parental controls and fewer random dangerous websites for kids to end up on

[teenagefeeling]

i think it's kind of insane to claim that the internet was safer for kids 10-20 years ago than it is now. when i was in middle school all my male classmates were watching beheadings and my female classmates were getting groomed by old men on omegle

[demigoddreamer]

Addressing Batman’s Abuse

Damian: I killed someone

Bruce(and the rest of the batfamily but mostly bruce): It’s ok it’s because of your childhood, you were raised to be an assassin as long as you didn’t murder anyone innocent and do better next time

Dick: I killed someone

Bruce: well i saved them didn’t count bye

Tim: I killed someone

Bruce: Seriously Tim? ok I’m kinda disappointed but i’ll be ok in a little bit(actually idk cause I can’t recall if tim ever killed someone)

Jason: I killed someone

Bruce: HOW DARE YOU BREAK THE NO KILL RULE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF **** WE HAVE MORALS YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER CRIMINAL, A MURDERER, A MONSTER YOU LET THEM WIN IF YOU KILL

Alright enough with the jokes let’s get serious, let’s talk about the abuse. I have a lot to unpack and if you’re like me who doesn’t have the patience to read long things if they don’t matter then i’m sorry . I can read school stuff but fanfiction more than like 30 chapters irritates me which is stupid because I love to read but the human brain is A FUCKING ANNOYING HYPOCRITE. I love the batbros with all my heart and we hate to see bad stuff happen to them. but Bruce...he can get away with hurting the people who he should see as sons and who in turn consider him a father figure. He is essentially taking advantage of their love for his cause. Because the most important thing is batman and the mission which he will hold above his own children, the people in his life who care about him and support him in his insane crusade. Batman is someone who is consumed by this darkness that causes him to sacrifice everything for the mission. It is stated multiple times that his Robins are supposed to be better than him, they’re not needed as assistants in the battlefield but rather emotional support as they bring a little light to Bruce's pain and vengeful darkness. The Robins become better people than Bruce. 

There are obvious examples of Bruce’s abuse such as his second Robin now Red Hood Jason Todd. Now I may be biased as he is my favorite but I love all the robins dearly so FREAKING much. Jason is constantly remembered as Batman’s greatest failure. Why is that? we are led to believe it’s because Bruce didn’t save him but really it’s because Jason didn’t fall in line with Batman’s code which is where we see the flaws in Batman’s philosophy. Why doesn’t Batman just kill the Joker? Jason makes some very valid points saying that all Joker does is cause pain and he keeps breaking out of prison and causing more pain and it’s a vicious cycle, a revolving door that Batman refuses to end. Joker and Batman are almost obsessed with each other. But Batman refuses to kill Joker saying if he does he can’t come back and Joker will win. It’s a war between numbers and moral high ground. But in reality who cares if Joker wins? It’s vague what does it even mean? Joker keeps on killing and if he was gone the world would be safer? It doesn’t matter if he wins as long as people live. Jason Todd is someone who is constantly hurt by the people who are supposed to love him. An example of this is Batman choosing to save Joker rather than his own son in the Under the Red Hood storyline. Jason is clearly heartbroken over the fact that Bruce refuses to kill the person who MURDERED HIM saying “I thought I’d be the last person you ever let him hurt” Jason obviously has lots of trauma PTSD depression and he probably just wants to feel safe pleading with Bruce to just kill Joker that’s it saying “doing it because he took me away from you” which Batman refuses just saying I can’t. 

Now there’s other instances that make my blood boil such as Batman and Robin #20. Damian died in Batman Inc. and obviously since Bruce can’t ever deal with pain in a healthy constructive way, he goes full dark and rage and sadness. He becomes desperate to bring Damian back, being abusive to Tim even when Batman tried to experiment on Frankenstein to bring Damian back and Tim blew the lab up. But Jason...oh god...Bruce wants Jason on a mission in Ethiopia to bring the people who tried to kill Damian justice . (Talia put a bounty on his head) and then Jason agreed, excited at the chance of working with someone he considers a father again. Jason has ceased his killing he has calmed down from when he tried to hurt them all, his mind was damaged by the lazarus pit and he went insane with pain and rage. From my pseudo psychologist perspective I think he thought hurting them would make his pain cease if he tried to hurt the things that caused his pain it would fix him. Anyway Jason is on kinder terms with them but it’s still rough. They’re not all that kind with him sure he’s made mistakes but they all have and he’s really sorry about it. Anyway after taking those bad guys down they talk about family and trust and faith. Then...Bruce does it and reveals the real reason why they came to Ethiopia. Bruce wanted to bring Jason to the place he DIED. WHERE THERE IS A BUTT TON OF TRAUMA. Jason is just so shocked at first he stands there looking numb. He isn't even angry yet. He stands there feeling the pain of that horrible day saying”You lied to me. this wasn't about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here..to the worst place in the world...and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith” He sounds broken which he is he’s been broken by so many people and now Bruce who isn’t supposed to break him just did by taking advantage of him and bringing him to somewhere of horrible trauma. Bruce reveals that he brought Jason here so he could figure out how to bring Damian back to life explaining “Those killers were the mission but this was something else something I couldn’t ignore I thought bringing you here could jog your memory-maybe retrieve a buried buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came to life so I” and Jason finishes this saying “-could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep?”Obviously, Jason doesn’t want to relieve his trauma, he doesn’t want to deal with what happened to him a second time. He just wants to move on but Bruce won’t let him. Bruce doesn’t seem to acknowledge Jason’s trauma nor does he seem to care for his well being. “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I've been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life, all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies but I’m done looking back” which is true all Batman does is sit in the pain of his parents death and he can’t heal like and he spreads pain to others at this rate the dead parents excuse gets a little old. BUT THEN BRUCE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY “If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see-there’s a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of my life. You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back!” Here he uses a lot of pronouns referring to himself, CARED ABOUT ME, I’VE LOST, HELP ME, MY LIFE, GIVE ME, HELP ME, MY SON. Yes Bruce, make it all about you, cause we definitely want you too. You’re a grown ass man and Jason is the more mature person here, honestly all the Robins learn to process grief and heal and grow and they’re just generally better people. Bruce is basically saying I care more about Damian than I care about you and my needs are greater than yours so screw your feelings, your feelings don’t matter. He really only seems to care about himself and he wants to erase his own pain. He doesn’t even seem to consider what Damian would want and what being brought back to life would do to him. Jason knows what it’s like, the pain of it, he’s probably the only person who would understand why someone wouldn’t want to come back. After All of this Bruce doesn’t even apologize and makes some half assed promise for unconditional truth but Jason still accepts this and helps Bruce get Damian’s body back from Darkseid even though he didn’t have to. 

Also there’s battle of the cowl which I desperately try to ignore but what I can tell Bruce *cough* died *cough* at this rate whenever Bruce dies or some crap I’m like ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT??? But sorry back to the topic. Bruce had a message for Jason for everyone else was just like I hope you’re doing well I love y’all live your life for JASON HOWEVER. He was all like you’re a failure not because I didn’t save you but because I don’t like how you turned out. Also you have problems, you’re mentally ill(I know but don’t have to be so awful about it)and there’s a secret I shouldn’t have kept and bye. And he suggests help but WHY DIDN’T HE GET JASON HELP WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER HMMMMM? It’s so obvious Jason’s childhood is full of abuse of course he has bad mental health and all that jazz. Also he puts Jason in Arkham where the Joker is 5 DOORS DOWN. I don’t think I have to say anything but they could literally put him in ANY OTHER PRISON. Why this one idk?

Bruce beat Jason and was probably about to kill Jason in RHATO #25. All beacuse Jason shot penguin and since Red Hood is a criminal blah blah blah Bruce has to do something. Actually he doesn’t as he just assumes Jason killed him which he didn’t also he didn’t seem to consider mind control or clones or whatever and he thought it was a good idea to beat the crap out of his sons. Jason even points this out”You are a character, I’ve never seen you beat Joker that hard and you hate him”...Bruce is beating him harder than the Joker. BRUCE IS BEATING HIS GODDAMN SON, SO HE HATES HIS SON MORE THAN JOKER??? Here we see how Bruce constantly chooses Joker over Jason.

Let's also talk about Dick his first son (I love my circus boi). After Jason died *sob*(i’m gonna cry) Dick is pretty darn sad and Bruce didn’t tell him shit so he’s obv like hey what’s the deal and BRUCE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BE MAD AT DICK. and he tries to kick Dick out of his life and be like leave your key get outta my face and he punched Dick LIKE BOI YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM ABOUT THE FUNERAL OR THE FACE THAT JASON DIED. We already knew it was bad because Bruce and Dick argued like my parents argue which is pretty bad. Lo and behold Bruce doesn’t apologize.

Also Nightwing #30 after Dick was outed as Nightwing and fake died on telelvision. Bruce used like WAAAAAAY excessive force. They were sparring but it got real violent real fast. And Nightwing wasn’t in the right mindset he was traumatized and Bruce totally took advantage of him by asking him to work for Spyral which Dick obv didn’t want to do but Bruce fucking FORCED that crap onto him after something as awful as that and he probably knew Dick would give in eventually that bastard. No, Bruce doesn’t apologize either.

Most recently Batman #71...now see this is Tim’s turn and I love my big brain boi Tim... and when you love a fictional character you know something bad is gonna happen. Bruce’s abuse, it’s kinda worse cause he’s a fucking KID. now Bruce be like let’s meet and shit so most of them are there and some evil villain is doing their thang and Tim is tryin be nice comforting Bruce, telling him that Tim will always be there and that Tim will help AND BRUCE FUCKING PUNCHED HIM. HE WAS JUST TRYIN BE NICE AND HELP YOU FEEL BETTER YOU POS. Now do we see Bruce apologize? NOOOOO. What did you expect? Honestly it’s not that hard it’s a simple sentences even a dumbass like you can manage it

Now I’m not totally familiar with any abuse on Damian but it’s there. Bruce is allergic to emotions, and it’s hard for him to be emotionally supportive and show any affection whatsoever. Showing any semblance of pride to Damian is like me trying to do pushups it’s FUCKING impossible for Bruce to show any compassion toward his son whatsoever (seriously though push ups are a pain in the ass I’m not athletic whatsoever why do you think I waste my time venting on tumblr the only thing I’m good for is being the smart kid in school and even then some people outshine me in that.)...sad but I’m not here to complain about that. Anyway Dick is a BAMF and openly shows Damian hey i’m proud of you and I love you. IT’S NOT THAT HARD BRUCE.

Bruce can’t ever be happy, he doesn’t let himself be happy because he can’t move on from that tragedy that happened to him. And he doesn’t allow anyone around him to be happy either. Shown as when Dick is like hey I can be in love with someone and we can be long term we can be happy together. BRUCE BE LIKE NUH HUH VIGILANTES CAN’T BE HAPPY WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE FOR THE MISSION. Let your son be FUCKING HAPPY. I know I sound like I hate him and maybe I do a bit but I don’t think he’s like completely Joker evil and irredeemable. I just can’t deal with how DC handles abusers like Bruce and having characters enable this behavior. We need to know that Bruce’s behavior is not ok and his children are completely numb to it, it’s normal to them and it’s disgusting. Bruce needs repercussions and he needs to know that he can’t do that to kids who love and trust him.

LINK TO PART 2:

https://demigoddreamer.tumblr.com/post/639314330465222656/addressing-batmans-abuse-part-2

If a loved one is hurting you reach out and seek help. You deserve the world

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Protective Humans.”

Saw this suggestion in my inbox from a couple months ago lol :)

“I am glad you could agree to come commander, with all of the …. Issues with the LFIL, we have had a really difficult time trying to maintain good relations with the rest of the galaxy.”

“We are glad we could come, of course, anything to help people understand humans a little bit better, plus Dr. Krill has a speaking engagement at the conference, so my coming here was twofold.”

“Ah, yes, your little doctor, when I heard about his particular speech, I have to admit I am very intrigued and excited. Anyway, we are glad that humans could come and help us with our mission. Even with human tourism growing in certain sectors of the galaxy, there are still many places were humans had never been seen, and it is in those areas where we have the most difficulty. They hear the rumors, and they see reports on the news about the worst kind of humans, and they just get scared.”

Commander Vir pulled to a stop standing next to the conference director, A Finnari by trade with a relatively trustworthy face despite being an alien, “Well, then they wouldn't be the only ones. Humans have been practicing paranoia against ourselves for thousands of years.” 

Out in the hallway of the conference center, aliens bustled by many of them staring on at the commander and his group of following humans with wide frightened eyes. Some of them pointed in excitement while others shied away to the other side of the hall.

It was still true that less than 7 percent of all aliens in the galaxy had ever seen a human, and for many of these, that fact was no different.

This would be their first time seeing a human.

The commander had to bite back his innate response to smile at them, seeing as most aliens, like most animals, considered the display of teeth to be a threat. So he simply waved a hand garnering a few flinches, and a number of curious head tilts.

Maybe someone should do a seminar on human body language, perhaps then the general public would feel more comfortable around them.

“Anyway, we thank you for coming, but your friend’s lecture is about to begin, and I am very excited to see how it goes.” The commander nodded to the Finnari director, and he, and the other three humans with him, Maverick Ramirez and Dr. Katie stepped into the room where doctor Krill was setting up his presentation.

As was becoming routine at the conference, they received a gasp and an eruption of mutterings as they appeared from the doorway. 

Dr Krill looked up from his work, as the humans inched to the side of the door trying not to be too disruptive, “Stop right there you four, and come here.”

In confusion the humans did as directed.

Dr. Krill stood up voice electronically amplified over the sound of the room, “Can everyone hear me, good, that is very good, now today I am going to be talking about a subject that, as the humans say, is very near and dear to my heart. That translates as, it is very important to me.” he motioned the humans to sit down on the stage, and they did as ordered though rather awkwardly, “Now I thought about just speaking to you for today, but have decided that, you aren't going to be able to keep your focus away from the humans anyway, so I might do us all a favor and add them into my lecture as a way to introduce you to them in a controlled environment, and hopefully, after today, you will come to see the humans as I do. Great allies, and an undeniable opportunity for friendship.”

“now , I wanted to do something a little different today, something a little off from my normal structured way of speaking about humans because I find it very displeasing the way the rest of the galaxy sees humans, and I want to change that. I tried determining a fact about humans that is the most forgiving and the most empathetic. Something all of you would enjoy.”

There was a muttering of intrigue about the room.

“Well I am going to start off with a little bit of a lecture. A lot of you may not know that humans give live birth to their offspring, not eggs like the Vrul, Rundi, or the Celzex, but more like the Tesraki or the Drev. however based on the physical structure of the human, and the slow evolution to walking on two feet. Humans are only capable of producing offspring at a reasonable size generally around six to seven pounds, and arguably no greater than twelve to fifteen pounds, though there may be exceptions. Now, as you know six pounds is very very small compared to the end result of a human, and the size of the head has the greatest bearing on this issue. The human head shape requires offspring to be born extremely underdeveloped, so underdeveloped that when they are born they can barely see or hear and have no ability to coordinate their own movements. It takes almost an entire rotation of their planet around their star in order for a human to walk. In essence it takes as much as eighteen revolutions before the average human is no longer taken care of by their  parents.”

There was a muttering from the crowd.

“Now based on the surprising helplessness of the human offspring compared to the final product, they tend to be very loud, and very difficult to take care of seeing how underdeveloped they are. Generally if any one of us were saddled with an offspring like that we would probably just give up, but the human brain is so hot wired to love their offspring, that none of those annoying things generally tend to matter. In fact, the power of a human’s bonding abilities is so strong that they can even bond to creatures that are NOT human in nature.”

Another surprised murmuring around the crowd.

“A human will have the same reaction to a nonhuman than they do to their own young, and in that case, this means that a human will protect the offspring of another species with their own lives. Human parents have been known to kill, lift objects five times their size, and fight off even more dangerous predators for the safety of their offspring, and they will do it for yours too..”

This time the murmuring around the room was almost palpable, it was as if they could hardly believe what they were hearing.

That couldn't be right.

“What if I told you that the safest place our offspring could be, is in the arms of a human.”

That caused an absolute uproar of chattering, and Krill had to wait a few minutes before the room calmed down.

The humans were looking between each other with some curiosity hardly believing what they were hearing, not sure where this was going.

“now , I have brought forward a couple of gracious volunteers who trust my judgement enough to help me demonstrate what you are about to witness .”

“Our first volunteer.” He motioned to the side of the stage were a Rundi was waiting, as she walked onto the stage, the crowd noticed at least three tiny shapes running around her feet.

The human turned to look eyes wide, to the crowd they almost looked hungry.

“Dr. Katie, can you tell me what you are thinking.”

The human looked up her wide brown eyes somewhat magnified through her glasses, “I want to hold one so bad.” She turned her head towards the rundi, “Can I hold one…. Am I allowed to do that. I’ll wear gloves.”

The rundi mother seemed surprisingly calm allowing the human to come over and pick up her little ones holding them gently in their hands running a finger over their tiny heads. One of the humans was holding the tiny creature to his chest. Patting its tiny head with one finger. 

“You see the protective nature in which the humans hold young that isn’t their own, I picked the rundi first specifically for this reason, simply because they don’t look remotely human. Arguably the humans shouldn't even connect them with their own young, and yet this is the posture of a creature that isn’t going to let anything happen to their charges.” He turned to the humans. “What would you do if someone tried to hurt these little rundi?”

The darker human looked up from the creature he was holding to his chest, “I don't know probably rip their arms off and beat them with them…. But that's probably a bit graphic so… er, i would be very very upset?”

“Great save.” The commander muttered, stroking his hand delicately down the little Rundi’s back, who seemed to be enjoying it rather happily. Of course all the humans were wearing gloves, considering that the rundi had an aversion to water, and humans had a habit of shedding it wherever they went.

They actually seemed disappointed when they had to let the tiny creatures go.

Not that they were disappointed at the next moment  when A dark blue-black tesraki brought out a fuzzy little bundle.

One of the humans made a strange squeaking noise. Again begging to hold it.

The humans seemed to be having even more fun than the rest of the crowd was having watching them. 

“You see the younger a creature of a different species is, the more likely humans are to adopt it with their social bonding.”

“Look at its little pig nose eep!” 

“Hey let me hold it. You don’t have to be a hog.”

“You can fight me.”

“Sharing is caring.”

“What if I don’t care.” The humans jostled with each other for a turn holding, petting or cooing over the creature, though their aggression seemed to terminate at a predetermined distance from the small one, and if it wasn’t obayed, there were other humans to make sure they kept in line. 

“You see, I would wager to say that your children are safer with humans than they are with you. Not to call you a poor parent. But humans will take falling impacts, jump in front of speeding vehicles, and their bodies are known to be quite durable.”

The commander was leaning over Dr. Katie’s shoulder stroking the Tesraki’s huge ears with one finger, “So soft.” 

“Though the creature does not have to be fluffy, but for some reason humans really enjoy it, despite their own young being hairless. In fact there are many humans that much prefer to have a creature of a different species than they are interested in having one of their own 

“Furbaby.” A human whispered as the tiny Tesraki was appropriated back from them.

“My next demonstration we have to thank by way of lord Celzex.”

The humans lifted their heads, eyes widening, “No!”

“YES!”

What came next was an excessive spectacle of human happiness characterized by a lot of squealing from both male and female humans, and a ton of tiny, angry little balls of colored fluff with massive eyes and huge feet.

Dr. Katie sat in a corner holding a handful of the little colored fluff balls in her arms, “Guys….” She moaned, “I think I’m gonna cry, this is pure happiness. I want all of them.”

Maverick lay on the ground flat on her back as at least ten of the tiny creatures crawled all over her. It was pretty clear they were trying to attack, but to the human it caused nothing more than an eruption of giggling.

The commander and Ramirez sat opposite each other trying to wrangle a small heard of the fluffies who ran about in an angry circle.

Needless to say, the humans were very disappointed when they had to be taken away. 

Ramirez held out a hand, “Wait, but, no….” 

Maverick was frowning looking down at her empty hands like she was missing a finger.

“And now for my last demonstration.” The doctor began.” Motioning his last volunteer up.

What came next was a nine foot tall male Drev, cradling a tiny shape in his lower arms.

Excitedly, the humans rushed over, and the Drev seemed to have no problem handing over his young to the pack of cooing humans.

Maverick bumped Katie out of the way, and took the tiny creature in her arms running away with it across the room.

The other humans trailed after Craning their necks over her shoulder and trying to see the tiny creature who opened its little beak like a baby bird chirping and blinking at them.

“I swear if anything happens to this child I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.” 

“I didn’t know they were so frigging adorable. Shit, I want one.” The commander grumbled playing with one of the tiny hands.

“Yeah, who wants a human baby anyway, these ones are way cuter., and they don’t smell.” 

“Maverick, if you don't let me hold it, I promise I will have you on bathroom duty for the rest of your foreseeable career.”

Maverick frowned, “Just five more minutes.”

“Fine, five, but then it's my turn.”

The doctor continued to lecture as the humans sat in a circle passing around the tiny drev, “You see in a time of crisis, a human will wrap themselves around their offspring using the rigged bones, and taught muscles of the shoulders, back and ribcage as a shield  diffusing impacts and cushioning falls. It is also quite common for an entire pack of humans to form up around younger humans to protect them.”

The commander had appropriated the tiny Drev from Maverick and was softly stroking a thumb against its tiny cheek. The small creature opened its mouth like a baby bird, chirping slightly before nuzzling its head against the human’s chest growing quite comfortable against the warm, soft human.

“Its official, I am the favorite.” The human announced 

“But-”

“No no, you see, sleeping, now you can’t take him away.” The other humans pouted and the commander grinned.

“You see it is all thanks to the annoying and underdeveloped nature of the human offspring, that we can thank for human over protectiveness. Now, this effect lessons somewhat as you grow older, but generally speaking it never goes away entirely. A human will bond with anything, a broken piece of equipment, an item of clothing, and definitely you, for sure. Should you be cautious about which humans you trust? Certainly, but we exercise that caution daily with each other.”

He motioned to the group of huddling humans holding the tiny sleeping Drev.

“Just remember this image here the next time some propaganda string tells you humans are monsters.” 

[phantomphangphucker]

Time Unveiling

Danny’s got a problem with a medallion. ClockWork, meanwhile, is busy being a startling little shit; but not too busy to help. (I’m pretty sure the background music to this would just be the Observants screaming)

Tropes used: What Have I Become and Take A Third Option

ClockWork smiles slightly to themselves as Daniel enters, promptly floating over to the Ancient time ghost and states, sounding both impressively annoyed and like the most confused creature ever, “what is this shit”.

ClockWork glances to the young halfa, who’s holding a medallion out at arms length; of course Daniel wouldn’t be confused if it was a time medallion, but it wasn’t, not that that surprised ClockWork in the slightest. ClockWork points a finger at it lazily, looking like a circle with eight arrows coming off of it and inside another circle, “that symbol’s a Chaossphere. A frozen explosion, two things or worlds slamming together to form something new in a grand display. Suits you quite nicely I’d say”.

Daniel grumbles, “you know what? Now I’m more confused. Why can I make this thing? Why did I? It won’t even go away. What kind of power even is this? You’ve got your medallion shit, so I figured you’d be at least kinda helpful. Plus”, Daniel yanks down the top of his jumpsuit revealing the very same symbol tattooed in red on his ghostly flesh, “it’s green when I’m human. Oh yeah, it’s also hurting me. The Zone is going on?”.

ClockWork chuckles, they knew Daniel had scoured his parents' books and work, tried to find anything, before coming to them. So yes, he was a bit frustrated and yes, ClockWork absolutely was bugging him a bit. “I already gave you the answer. But there is more for you to ask”.

“What does what it’s called have to do with anything? Or are you talking about the meaning thingy...”, Daniel snaps his fingers and points at ClockWork, “geez, I’m something new created from two worlds slamming into each other in some absurdist explosion”, glaring slightly, “but why’s it on me? And the pain?”.

ClockWork nods slightly, “better questions. Still the wrong ones”.

Daniel groans, “I don’t know about you, but pain tends to make thinking up questions more than slightly difficult”, but he floats after ClockWork as they head towards the wall with many time medallions hanging. ClockWork just ignores Daniel’s comment, tapping one of their time medallions as they speak, “tell me, how many ghosts do you know with medallions? What kind of ghosts are they?”.

Daniel squints at them slightly, “there’s you of course -gear-shaped obviously-, Nocturne -a star-shaped one-, Overgrowth -flower-shaped I think-, and Observants -eye-shaped in a surprise to no one I’m sure. That I know of anyway, Vortex probably has one. It’s not like other ghosts go around throwing theirs at me”, chuckling at ClockWork slightly, “you practically shoved yours in my face”.

ClockWork waves him off, “mine have more uses. It’s far safer for Nocturne to use those created helmets than medallions after all. Overgrowth’s only plants' seeds in the mortal realm. The Observants ones are just spy cameras of course”, ClockWork gives Daniel a clear ‘remember what else I asked you’ look.

Daniel looks at the medallions on the wall and shrugs a little, “you lot are all Guardians -I think the word was-“, Daniel counts off on his fingers, “time, sleep, plants, and aren’t the eyeballs ‘law’ or something?”.

ClockWork smirks, “indeed, and they’d really prefer you’d stop forgetting. Being that you are co-workers in a sense”.

“Excuse? What do you mean co-workers? Since when do I work with them?”, Daniel scratches his head a little, “well I guess I do keep order and shit. Still though”.

“Think a bit harder”, ClockWork gestures loosely to Daniel’s medallion, which he’s still holding away from himself like it will eat him, “every Guardian has a medallion”, ClockWork floats over to one of their viewing screens; while Daniel just floats, clearly thinking.

After not too long Daniel near shouts, “no, uh-huh, I don’t think so. This thing is not mine”, Daniel gestures at the medallion wildly, “it just...likes me? It’ll go home and find it’s Master or whatever. I am not doing shit with this”.

ClockWork makes their voice sound chiding, “Daniel”. They don’t think they need to go pointing out every reason why Daniel’s medallion is very much his.

Daniel slumps some and looks from his medallion to ClockWork a few times, whining a bit, “but what if I don’t want it?”.

“The universe decided it was time, that you were ready. So thus, you are. Besides, power is far greater and safer in the hands of those who do not truly seek nor want it”.

Daniel frowns and floats to be beside the time ghost, one hand curled close to his chest, the other still holding his medallion while he eyes it warily, muttering, “you’ve seen how dangerous I can be with power...”.

“And if you’d recall, your older self had no such medallion, was not a Guardian in any sense”.

Daniel eyes the medallion a little less cautiously, “huh”, after a while, “so, um, that me’s not possible anymore then?”.

ClockWork pats his head with a slight smile, though says nothing. While Daniel plays with his medallion a little, “sooooooo.... What do I do with it? The heck am I even supposed to be a Guardian of?”, groaning some and glaring at his medallion, “since I don’t have a goddamn choice”, frowning before snapping, “and why is this shit hurting me”.

“You’re human still”.

Daniel coughs a little, “did you really just give me that blunt of an answer? And so what? This thing wants me to be fully offed? Which just, like, no”.

ClockWork watches as Daniel winces and rubs his chest, as expected, his body was making it as clear as it could to him how this situation needed to play out. Daniel just stares at the floor a little horrified. ClockWork understands that Daniel really did need things spelled out for him sometimes, so they speak again, “expected really, Guardians are full ghosts with powers far beyond what even regular ghosts can handle. Your ghost half, in it’s half ghost state, simply can not handle it”, pointing at Daniel’s hand that’s wrapped around his medallion, “which is why your body won’t let you put that down. It’s hampering your power, so you don’t obliterate yourself”.

Daniel glares at it but stops trying to keep it as far away from himself as possible, though not letting it get too close, “why me? Why does this shit always have to be me? Why can’t Vlad get stuck with some bullshit for a change?”.

ClockWork chuckles, “ah the words of every Guardian ever. Though I find it quite amusing that your ‘why’ is quite apparent. As I’ve already told you, it’s all in how you came to be”.

Daniel just snaps, “Vlad’s a halfa too”.

“He faced his existence. You embraced it wholly. All of existence collected and culminated within you, making you true heir to it all”.  

Daniel sighs, “back to the chaossphere? thing. So what? Am I’m the Guardian of chaos or some shit?”.

ClockWork deadpans, “do I look like the Guardian of gears to you?”.

Daniel screws up his face and laughs a little, “point”, before sighing and staring down at his medallion, “so then what? Obviously the whole gear shape represents the clock thing with you. Is this chaos thing just calling out my hectic existence? And you’re distracting me with a mystery from the whole this is not okay thing, because I am sixteen, my existence is already a mess. And y’ know there’s the this is trying to kill me, and apparently, I have to let it thing”, Daniel ends while glaring at ClockWork slightly, who smirks.

ClockWork holds up a finger, “it is not your chaos that your medallions symbol represents, but rather think what the symbol itself represents; as I have already told you. A gear is an important part of anything that watches time, without it nothing can turn. Those that sleep do so most often under stars. Flowers are the key to pollination. And one can not truly watch without eyes to view it. So if you need to think of it in another way, what is the one thing that can’t not exist without chaos?”.

Daniel grumbles, “I’d say ‘order’ but this clearly isn’t some yin and yang shit”. ClockWork smiles to themselves over the obviousness of that and how Daniel doesn’t look to them for confirmation of his statement. While Daniel continues, “I’d also say ‘myself’, but that’s a duh and also not an answer at all. Guess closer technically, the whole two worlds slammed into on-”, Daniel cuts himself off and goes a little wide-eyed, glaring at ClockWork, “don’t you dare tell me I’m supposed to be the Guardian of both worlds”.

ClockWork smirks, “existence is the word for it. The realm of mortals and the realm of the dead, together they make all of existence. Yet they are separate things”, Daniel glares harder while ClockWork continues, “except, of course, in you. Now that won’t be the case anymore should you die, which you’ve said must happen”.

Daniel snaps, “I am not fully dying. I refuse. If I have to just carry this thing everywhere and be in pain then fine”, wincing and groaning a little, “so what am I supposed to be the Guardian of?”.

“The combination. The in-between. The Veil, Daniel. The very thing that separates your two worlds, protects and contains them. Guards them”.    

Daniel squints for a beat before laughing, “so the thing that guards existence needs a Guardian? That’s actually hilarious”, before pausing, “wait...isn’t that worse and even more than being the Guardian of existence?”.

ClockWork nods, making Daniel glare and groan loudly, but he stops as ClockWork speaks, “you’ve been doing a fine job thus far, even without the proper powers at your command”.

“Excuse?”.

ClockWork chuckles, “did you really believe your need and desire to keep peace on both sides, control who got to cross between and what they would do if you let them hang around, and fight those who opposed you; was purely because of protecting your home and loved ones? Did you ever truly deeply question why you had a protection Obsession?”.

Daniel grumbles, “if anyone else had said that to me, I’d feel like an idiot”, throwing his hands out to the side and looking up at ClockWork, “I just figured my Obsession was what it was, because ghosts kept attacking my town and I kept having to save everyone. So it just developed into one”, Daniel sighs, “guess I should have seen that coming. Nothing’s ever simple for me”, pointing at ClockWork with the hand that’s gripped around his veil medallion, “I am still not fully dying for this”.

ClockWork talks while Daniel is clearly trying to suppress another wince, “you won’t be able to hold onto that forever. Your body will resort to the only way to protect itself that it can”.

“No. I am not being a full ghost. No offence or whatever, but no. Not happening. I will cast my whole arm if I have to, wrap it in duct tape, I will eat this thing if I have to”.

“That would work, until you get decapitated, or gutted, or cut in half, or impaled in the right spot, or dissec-”.

Daniel cuts them off, “I get it, I get it!”. Running a hand through his hair and crossing his legs, coming to float slightly above the floor, “so what am I supposed to do? Cause fully dying is not an option”.

“It’s not that bad, you’re hardly the first Halfa to become a Guardian”.

Daniel waves them off, clearly what they’ve said hasn’t set in quite yet, “it’s not the same for you, were you ever even ali- wait, WHAT?!?!?!?!”.

ClockWork chuckles at the gaping Halfa before changing a viewing screen to the very far past. Showing a twenty-year-old blonde nomad with a scar over one eye, clearly they were a human. Daniel gapes more as a purple ring of light appears changing the human into a ghost much like ClockWork but far more human-looking. Daniel sputters as he watches halfa ClockWork float about some kind of temple, “ClockWork...the... fuck? You, what?”, shaking his head and looking to ClockWork, “you, you’ve been through this, went through this. You know, you understand”, looking back at the screen just catching a last glimpse of what and who ClockWork used to be, Daniel muttering, “were you okay with it? With...dying, fully dying?”.

ClockWork frowns slightly, it had been a long time since then, they hadn’t really understood their own existence back then. Of course, much the same could be said about Daniel. But Daniel’s existence wasn’t one that would ever come with the burden of knowing and seeing everything. But they had been okay with their partial and full death, there had been little reason not to be, “I was and am. But you know I am a solitary thing, as I have always been. So as such, I lost nothing to gain everything”, chuckling a little, “plus, I saw it as a higher purpose. Gift from the gods. It was a very different time back then”.

Daniel nods with a bit of a frown and fiddles with his Veil medallion, “not the same for me. I’m not okay with this. Fuck fate”.

ClockWork smirks at that, holding up a finger and floating off a little, “and you never have been one to be at the whims of fate. Never one to play by the rules, and of course, neither have I”, ClockWork keeps speaking as Daniel turns his head around and raises an eyebrow at the old-time ghost, “you see, back in the day, the Observants were much more willing to attempt at meddling with the humans. Let’s just say they annoyed one very particular human who decided to annoy them back, by punching a hole clean through the veil and stealing one of their artefacts”, ClockWork gestures at the viewing screens, “sure, maybe said portal was unstable, and maybe it collapsed on that human while they were carrying said artefacts thusly fusing them together; eternally pissing off the Observants”.

Daniel clearly can’t help but laugh, “that is a power move if I’ve ever heard one”, shaking his head and sighing, “and why do I feel like there’s some meaning behind you telling me this?”.

“Always, Daniel. After all, it is only you who has said any full death needed to occur now”.

Daniel squints at them, “you pretty heavily implied it, what with the whole living even partly can’t handle this”.

ClockWork nods, “which is the case, but you’re already fully dead”.

Daniel sputters and coughs, sounding a bit strangled, “no??? No I’m not???”.

ClockWork pokes a particular thermos enough so it audibly wobbles. Daniel gapes, speaking as he floats over and stares between ClockWork and Dan’s thermos, “are you trying to imply that I can and even should just shove this off to the psycho evil older full ghost me? Just...stuff this in the thermos with him? Have you lost your mind ClockWork?”.

ClockWork shakes their head slightly, while that would certainly piss off the Observants something fierce, not to mention confuse Dan to an impressive extreme. “Hardly, that wouldn’t work at all. You though he may be, he is not the same you. I’m sure you’ve wondered plenty why I didn’t simply stop you from becoming him, rather than wait for you to trap him”.

Danny sighs, “I though that was something about teaching me about what I could become and the whole responsibility with my power thing. Capturing him was me overcoming him, my possible evil future”.

“It served for that purpose as-well, it served for plenty of things. You know me because of it after-all”.

Daniel nods a little but glares at the thermos and crosses his arms, before wincing and lifting his arms away from his chest a little, “so what the Zone does he have to do with this? How does a different and not actually me version of what I could have been help anything?”.

ClockWork smirks and lets silence hang in the air for a beat, ensuring their words have impact, “consume him”

“What???”.

“You heard me”.

Daniel coughs, “you...you want me to eat him? That seems actively more insane. Are you sure you haven’t gone insane?”.

ClockWork holds up a finger, “drink actually, and hardly. Really, he’s you, so if you really want to look at it another way, it’s not much different from absorbing a duplicate”.

Daniel gapes at them, “that is, that is not even on the same planet- no, it’s not even in the same dimension, as being the same thing”, then looking to the floor and grumbling, “but now I’m going to think about that next time I duplicate and be deeply disturbed”. Daniel looks back up to ClockWork when they chuckle, Daniel asks sounding a little annoyed, “how does doing that to him help this shit?”.

ClockWork grins, “you can shift between half-ghost and half-human, why not shift into full ghost as well. Able to shift back of course”.

Daniel blinks, “so you’re telling me, that if I eat, drink, whatever, him. I’ll be able to just, transform into a full ghost without actually being one? That is so many kinds of absurd that I probably should have seen this coming”.

ClockWork nods in agreement, “your existence is an absurdist wonderland most of the time. Don’t fret about any preparations, you were quite expected”, ClockWork grabs the thermos and gives it a little shake, the sloshing of ectoplasm seems to reverberate; and if ClockWork shook the thermos a little meanly, well, no one would blame them.

Daniel pulls a slightly disgusted face, “oh Ancients, you’re serious, it wasn’t some kind of riddle thing”, Daniel grimaces more, “is he dead dead? Like, faded and dissolved into ectoplasmic goop?”.

“Oh he’s very much still with us, if I offed him he’d be useless”. ClockWork just chuckles while Daniel mutters about how he’s not sure if that’s better or far far worse.

Daniel takes the thermos cautiously but makes no movement to even consider doing anything with it, “do I get anything out of this? Because this is a whole ass sandwich of ‘no’ and ‘do not want’. I can deal with pain, this shit is a way harder pill to swallow”, Daniel screws up his face and wheezes a little, “Zone, unintentional joke”, sighing, “well that’s one way of my brain trying to say ‘this is okay’, which it’s not, thank you very much”.

ClockWork waves him off slightly, “you’ll come to brag about it”.

“I think the fuck not”.

ClockWork chuckles a little and smirks, “you like to pester the Observants as much as I do, you’ll shove it in their faces the first chance you get”.

Daniel mutters, “I’m not sure if I hate you or love you for how that is utterly true. Screw those damn eyeballs”, Daniel squints, “wait, why aren’t they trying to stop this? And you never answered my question? Cause again, this just all around sucks for me”.

“They don’t know. Your future evil self is outside of time and thus their sight. So to is anything too directly involving him. And such an ability-”, winking, “-would very much carry over”. Deciding to nip a worry in the butt before Daniel even voices it, “of course, since I’m your Guardian, I’ll still be able to see you just fine. As for what else you stand to gain; power obviously, true immortality, dominion, and causing generalised confusion”.

“That last one is very tempting”, looking over his veil medallion, “guess chaossphere thingy does make a lot of sense”, shaking his head and looking back to ClockWork, “what kind of power are we talking here? Because again, no. I don’t want it. Basic powers are one thing, a new blast or shields, but something major? Really op? Pass. And I would bitch about this Guardian stuff seeming like a bunch of responsibility but, apparently, I’m already doing the job”.

“You, through this particular situation, would have something of a built-in safety lock. Your Guardian powers would be bound to your full ghost form, so you would have to be in it to use them. Or really”, ClockWork gestures to their staff, “you could use a conduit in more genuine”

Daniel squints, “why do you mean ‘in more genuine’, I’m pretty sure I don’t have a staff”.

ClockWork taps the cap of the thermos lightly, “who said it had to be a staff. Do you really think the Veil Master wouldn’t have the ability to send ghosts back from whence they came?”.

Daniel winces a little and hovers his hand over his core a bit, ClockWork frowns slightly, “it’s only going to hurt you more as time passes. You are ready, your body is, Daniel. You just have to let it be. The universe makes its decisions more carefully than even I”.

Daniel grumbles, “telling me to freaking consume my evil self does not scream careful or serious even slightly”.

“I wouldn’t pick a worse off option just to amuse myself. Absurd just suits you and works for you”.

Daniel stares at them for a little bit before glancing at Dan’s thermos and back, “this won’t, like, give him some kind of influence over me will it?”.

ClockWork shakes their head firmly, “not in the slightest. But you will look similar to him, as should be expected. And while you do behave more ghostly while in this half-ghost form, it’s still hampered by being half-human. That will not be the case in your full ghost form”.

Daniel sighs and nods a little, ClockWork knows he could have put up much more of a fight about this but of course he wouldn’t. Daniel wasn’t exactly attached to ideals of normalcy, but he liked to try. Though ClockWork did get a level of joy out of really catching him off guard and slightly disturbing him. While Daniel comments, “yeah that makes sense and good. Wait a minute”, Daniel squints and eyeballs ClockWork’s staff, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use your time stuff without the staff”.

ClockWork speaks as if that question had never been asked, they’ve got to cause some mischief after all. Pointing at Dan’s thermos, “you hold everything you need now. Whether you walk away from it and keep the pain, or embrace burdens as you’ve chosen to do time and time again; is up to you”, then promptly teleporting away; though they continue to watch closely of course.

Daniel just blinks a few times before he near shouts, “are you really just gonna leave me here wondering whether you are fully dead or goddamn vored your own evil self and just use a conduit?!? ClockWork you cheeky bastard!”.

Danny looks around and grumbles, “prick”, before squinting and realising he’s being a bit of a dumbass, “right, they literally said they were okay with fully dying. I’m a dumbass”. Holding up Dan’s thermos and glaring at it a little, “I hate this. Sure, like, injecting this shit into my body would probably be way weirder”, Danny pauses and scrunches up his face, “okay who am I kidding, that’s an insanely disturbing mental image. Though at least then I wouldn’t have to know what this jerk tastes like”. Danny sighs and floats to sit down, “goddamnit, I am going to do this stupid shit, aren’t I. Why am I like this. Why do I do this to myself”, grumbling, “and why does clocky”.

Danny shouts at the air, knowing damn well ClockWork is listening/watching, “I still don’t like this! My existence is already too much bullshit and I handle power stupidly! But we both know I don’t back down from weird and burdens!”.

Danny glares down at the thermos sitting in his lap, grumbles “fuck it”, and rips off the cap. Flinching away from the opening for a beat until it is very very clear that there will not be any ghost -Dan- or beam of energy coming out. Leaning his head over the opening, and looking down at the green soupy mess, “whelp, that’s disgusting”.

Looking back to his hand and getting reminded of the pain in his core, “yup, nope, can’t be chicken shit now. Fuck you Dan, you’ve always been a hard pill to swallow”, then almost aggressively throwing back the thermoses contents straight down his gullet. Only swallowing harshly a few times as the thick acidic semi-liquid slides down; leaving a slightly warm coating in his throat as he gets up and wipes off his lips.

Coughing slightly and jerking from his core spasming, before pretty well getting face fucked by raw power and swaying a little. Which seems to be the moment ClockWork chooses to reappear, patting him on the back lightly.

ClockWork chuckles a little to themselves as Daniel glances at them with a slightly disgusted look before he curls in on himself and starts twitching. Arches of power and energy spiralling off of him, ClockWork’s just glad there’s not really anything breakable in this room. Turning their head to look out the window, watching as one massive spiking energy ripple shoots out to the far reaches of the Ghost Realm. And so it would seem, a new Guardian has risen....or is writhing on the floor.  

Daniel rolls over and glares at the ceiling before looking to ClockWork, “I would say ‘we never speak of this again’ but I damn well know we both will”.

ClockWork smiles slightly, “I doubt you could resist”, before offering a hand to Daniel and pulling him to float back upright. It’s not that he needed the help, more that it was a sign of friendship and trust, him accepting the offering.

After a bit of silence Daniel starts up a bit awkwardly, “soooo...”, Daniel Flips over his Veil medallion in his hand a few times, “what now?”. Daniel scratches at his stomach a little before pulling a slightly disgusted face and jerking his hand away, muttering, “I’m going to have no appetite for supper”.

ClockWork smirks and floats over to their viewing screens, “you could ignore this entire situation, go on with your days like this never happened, and like you don’t have new powers; until, through some unusual and very specific situations, you need said powers”.

Daniel squints at the air before turning his head to look at ClockWork, “the fact that you could be talking about my telekinesis and pyrokinesis, instead of what just happened, probably says a lot”.

“I was thinking more of your lack of needing to breath”.

Daniel blinks, “I genuinely forget about that”.

ClockWork laughs slightly before gesturing to the viewing screens, “care to lose your breath laughing over watching my favourite t.v. show”, then waving a hand at the viewing screens, changing them to show the Observants pretty well freaking out.

Daniel snickers and floats over, “oooh new episode”, before jerking and going a little cross-eyed watching two rings of light form around his feet and head before moving across him to converge on his chest. “Uh, that’s new”, and feeling his legs promptly change to a ghostly tail of their own accord.

ClockWork chuckles at Daniel functionally looking like a 5’4” Dan with pupil-less sclera green eyes and constant ghostly tail, “if you’ll recall, no Guardians have legs. Ghostly tails serve as a convenient outlet for our excessive levels of power”.

Daniel blinks, “Guardian being a title that applies to me is way too weird. I still want nothing to do with that”, then he sticks a finger in his mouth and toys with the large fangs and tongue, “this is gonna take some getting used to”.

“It’s your place in the universe, young Veil Master”.

Daniel crosses his muscular arms, “no, I’m just Phantom, or Danny Phantom, or DP, or...Ancients I actually have a lot of names”.

ClockWork smirks, “Phantom, The Master Of The Veil”. Daniel just glares at them harder, though smiling deviously a little as ClockWork adds in, “Of course, the typical laws of the Ghost Realm don’t apply to Guardians. Not that Walker won’t try”.

Daniel snickers, “I have no sympathy for that one, though I'm still not happy about this. At least powers, or whatever, don’t seem to be acting up”.

“Focus on what you can sense. I can always sense the state of time, Nocturne sees every dream, the Observants can sense any majorly broken law, OverGrowth feels everything plants do and the number of plants in any given area”.

Daniel grumbles, “I already have a ghost sense”, before blinking and facepalming, “that’s another Guardian thing I already had isn’t it?”.

ClockWork chuckles and nods slightly even if Daniel’s not looking at them, “indeed but pay closer attention, you’ll find so much more now”.

Daniel screws up his face before blinking and muttering barely above a whisper, “everyone, I can feel everyone”, shaking his head, “yeah that’s a little much, fucking Zone”.

ClockWork pats Daniel’s head as he transforms back to his half-ghost form and back full ghost a few times. Daniel watching the muscle definition on his arm change between the two forms before snorting, “somehow that’s weirder than the kinda voyeuristic everyone sense thing”, looking to ClockWork, “I’m guessing you aren’t going to just tell me all that I can do now?”. ClockWork just smirks making Daniel groan and gesture to his veil medallion, “well can you at least throw me a bone with the thing that caused all this crap?”

ClockWork chuckles, “push your energy into it and see for yourself”.

ClockWork watches as Daniel holds up the medallion by its strap and looks away from it slightly, like it might explode, while it starts glowing, a green swirling portal promptly opening up. ClockWork smirks as said portal clearly starts to suck Daniel in and he looks to ClockWork and deadpans, “oh you cheeky bastard”, before disappearing through the portal.

ClockWork smiles, Daniel being a Guardian was impressively going to stay unknown by the Ghost Realm at large for quite a long time. Just like how his Ghostly Wail was relatively unknown, it was more of a rumoured power than a confirmed one.

Danny manages not to stumble and land flat on his face back in Amity. Righting himself and changing back human, holding up his medallion, “teleportation and ghost portal creation?”, getting an idea after feeling his ghost sense go off. Danny spins around and whips the medallion straight at The Box Ghosts face, a portal forming as soon as it contacts his ecto-field.

Danny laughs to himself a little as he catches his falling medallion after the portal closed, “well I’ll be damned”, smirking and throwing his medallion at a tree and snorting as a portal appears and sucks away the tree, “that’s going to be one confused tree”.

Shaking his head and checking the time, promptly spinning on his heel and heading to meet up with his friends at the Nasty Burger.

Danny chuckles and gives a slightly cruel smirk as he slides into the booth, “so I vored Dan today”, Danny keeps talking like his two friends aren’t gapping at him, “also became a god, but that’s just a part-time thing. Pretty sure I won’t be getting paid though. Fully dead too, but not, 'cause that’s apparently a thing now. And ClockWork might be insane”.

Both Sam and Tucker sputter before saying, “what???”. Danny just smirks.

End.

[erenthecoordinate]

Hello. Please share your thoughts about the latest couple of chapters/Zeke's backstory.

Not gonna lie, this probably one of the most emotional chapters I’ve read in a while.  I’ve been asking for a Zeke-centric chapter that would explain his motives and we got it in the classical heartbreaking fashion that this series is known to dish out.  AND it includes an explosive cliffhanger that Michael Bay would be proud of and make a good portion of the fandom look at a panel at 200% zoom and contrast change for 3 days.

I think the last time I talked about Zeke on this blog, I mentioned that I believe there is a chance Zeke is being genuine with working on Eldia’s side, but it wasn’t yet clear how much he wanted to include Paradis in the fruits of his potential “free the people” plan.  Yeah, so, things have changed obviously.  But not as drastically as I was led to believe after chapter 112.  By ch113, I figured there was more to the story with Zeke, since it seemed that his intentions for escaping was based on a time restraint and the fact he couldn’t trust Levi in the end.  Fortunately for his fans and unfortunately for Zeke, Levi’s plot armor saved him this time.  Only for fate to be teased once more!  Ugh!

I’m going to give a few super brief hot takes that I posted before but Tumblr decided to throw it into the abyss the first time.  This is going to be the least analytical and organized list I’ve ever written so be kind:

Finally, a flashback chapter of the most mysterious guy in this series

…AND HE’S CUTE!?

Oh my god.

Grisha and Dina are not the worst parents nor bad people but hell if they aren’t misguided, radical, and negligent of their only son.

This gives me middle school flashbacks.

I didn’t expect Zeke to suck at military training, to be honest.  They really did just call him a child prodigy for his miracle abilities and the fact he betrayed his parents.

Which I don’t entirely blame him anymore…if it wasn’t his free decision, he was influenced by a replacement nurturing parental figure to do it.  Ouch.

I was mad when these spoilers came out but now it makes sense why this is Zeke’s motive.

I’m pretty confident Eren is double crossing Zeke now.

Zeke is not dead.  Levi is not dead.  Splash text is clickbait.

I don’t even think Levi lost any arms, but we won’t know until 2 or 3 chapters from now.  Hope he knows how to swim!

For wordy rambling, please read on--

As most of the fandom assumed, this chapter was going to be primarily a flashback containing Zeke’s childhood.  And it’s a heavy reveal that spirals into his present-day motives.  It opens up with another scene that illustrates exactly how mistreated and disrespected Eldians are, the janitor going so far as to question why they are “breeding” for more devils.  This is unsurprisingly traumatizing to Zeke and those words are the seeds that flourish the plant of self-hatred soon to wreak havoc.  On the other hand, Grisha vents his frustrations and feeds the idea that their only salvation is to be free from their internment.  They have barely enough freedom to leave their residence and to do so require legal permission.  At this point, we’re familiar enough with how Marley reacts to Eldians both in the past and present day and those views haven’t changed no matter the year.  The story makes us aware that other nations prefer the race to be eradicated whereas Marley’s action is to keep them controlled, though of course there are people who support the former option.  It’s demeaning enough to be ostracized but threatened with genocidal wishes from the general public induces a lot of paranoia and, in the Restorationists’ case, rage.

Zeke is considerably mellow though.  There is no contempt because he’s too busy appeasing his parents.  He struggles with his training and falls far too short from the other warrior candidates.  But he is nothing but loyal to Grisha and Dina, even lying to his grandparents about how his father lectures him about their history.  Zeke uniquely gets two different teachings, but interestingly we don’t see him doubting either of them.  He seems to absorb more of what Grisha is saying, but doesn’t confess that to his grandparents, and simply nods and follows along to whatever is being read to him.  Most of his anxiety is reaching the expectation of becoming a warrior like his parents wanted.

His parents don’t make it a mystery to Zeke that him becoming a warrior is part of their restoration plan.  It’s not out of glory or that they want to best for him, but he is already exposed to the group as the one to save them all, a beacon of hope that the whole of the Eldian race depends on.

Of course, with the pressure on, Zeke cannot make the cut.  A mix of physical weakness and mental turmoil has Magath questioning Zeke’s integrity.  This brings him trailing behind his comrades, defeated, only to run into one of the current warriors playing catch with himself.  This is where we get a first glimpse of Zeke’s hidden pitching talent.  Tom Xaver, the current Beast Titan whose main job is a titan science researcher, is impressed and Zeke illuminates.

I know he murdered hundreds in very unkind ways, but it is a canon fact he is adorable.

Afterwards, Grisha, Dina, and their restorationist friend Grice become stressed with the fact Zeke isn’t performing to acceptable standards to even qualify to be a candidate of the warrior program, let alone having the chance to harness one of the titans.  Zeke overhears this and is taken back by the urgency. Grisha takes notice and attempts to encourage his son by saying he is special and therefore he can succeed.

Immediately follows probably one of the most depressing, soul-crushing pages that doesn’t include death (unless you count the death of Grisha and Dina’s faith in their son).  You don’t have to like Zeke to feel a twinge of relatability when he nearly breaks down from watching his parents turn away in disappointment.  It’s the worst kind of rejection because there is no improving something you simply cannot do and don’t truly have a passion for, even if you fight tooth and nail for it.

Xaver comments on Zeke’s atrocious training attempt and Zeke admits that his parents are the reason he has to become a warrior.  Xaver loosely describes the “perks” of being a warrior: harness unbelievable power, fight in wars, and die in 13 years by the teeth of your successor.  Avoiding that fate doesn’t grant much freedom, but to Zeke, staying alive for as long as possible is good enough.  To survive is fine.  He doesn’t need to fight to be free.

Naturally, cruel circumstances bombarde Zeke’s world when he overhears that his parents are in serious danger of being discovered.  He attempts to vere them to safer options so that they won’t be sent to Paradis, but Grisha and Dina immediately shut him down.  Living in an oppressed system is damaging to their self-esteem.  Revolution is necessary to change the world.  Zeke is their golden ticket.  There is a fatal risk to all this, but it is all for the name of their people.  For those who died for trying to reach beyond their boundaries.  Grisha omits his guilt over his sister’s death, saying what he wanted was simple.  Did that deserve punishment?  We already know his feelings about that, though.

Zeke on the other hand is convinced that it is all over for his family.  The power others have over them is far greater than his parents can overcome.  Xaver sees his distress and Zeke is quick to surrender any possibility of a long life, grateful he can hold onto memories of him as he eternally sleeps.  Xaver is too fond of Zeke, though, and we learn he is the one who suggests Zeke turn in his parents in order to save himself and his grandparents.  Zeke objects, of course, but it doesn’t take too long for Xaver to convince him that his parents cared more about their agenda than their child’s happiness and wellbeing.  And then that all happens.

Several years pass, and Zeke has gone from adorable to totally handsome.

Err...and he has become a successor to the Beast Titan.  He’s woven a close bond with this man to know progressions concerning his research.  A lot of it is information we already know but to them it’s a mix of theory and hearsay.  The new bit of information we gather is the theory that the Founding Titan can manipulate Eldian’s genetic makeup based on paths alone.  It’s what has saved them from plagues in the past.  Zeke recalls the janitor that harassed him and his parents years ago, and laments on the idea that the Founder can also prevent more Eldians from being born.

Xaver reacts somber over this concept.  He confesses that he used to have a family under disguise as a Marleyan.  It wasn’t until after his wife found out and killed herself and their son out of shame and disgust that he ultimately decided to become a warrior-- so he could die in the most glorified way possible, I guess?  In that time, he was dedicated to his research more than anything, but overall expressed he virtually replaced the void in his heart with Zeke’s presence, which explains why he was so important to him.  It’s kind of touching that they both found  each other to fill in roles that were empty in their lives.  Xaver still exhibits a great deal of self-hatred, something that Zeke can relate to.  At this point, he declares his motive of taking the Beast Titan, recovering the Founder, and stop the cycle of suffering by effectively ending the existence of Eldians altogether.  It’s...certainly a goal, albeit a method of giving in to their circumstances and accepting that they cannot fight against this oppression, so that the best thing to actually do is not exist.  Because no matter what they do, to exist is to suffer, and what kind of life is that?

The flashback closes with Levi overhearing Zeke mutter that the only salvation for Eldia is their euthanasia, and that all the deaths he is responsible for was a method of setting them free.  Of course, Levi doesn’t buy it and prepares for another round of Chopped.  Zeke appears to be only partially lucid when he shouts for his dead mentor to watch his next move.

In a matter of seconds, Zeke jerks the string that pulls the fuse and Levi looks to try to make a quick escape.  Zeke risks it all in an explosion that splits his body in parts, though it looks like his neck and head are still intact.  Meanwhile, Levi is blown back a distance with some blood trailing from his body due to ambiguous injuries.  And there is our cliffhanger of the volume!

I know I basically just summarized the chapter with some flavor additions, but there are a few things that drove me to a pit of emotions and questions during the spoiler drop.  Context from the fully translated chapter fixed a lot of my primary thoughts.

The Zekecrets

First big gain from this chapter is Zeke’s motive!  Finally, the zekecret is out!  And it’s rooted from a traumatic childhood and is buzzing with controversy.  I can’t say I agree with Zeke’s idea of ending the Eldian race by sterilizing them and killing those that he can.  But I will say that considering his experiences as a child and that discussion with Xaver had inspired this motive and, therefore, makes a lot of sense.  We’ve seen Zeke as a kind of chessmaster with many tricks up his sleeve yet was a shroud of mystery.  He has killed without mercy, he has betrayed his country, and he has turned that people he claimed to protect into Titans.  But to him, these deaths are convenient and align to his ultimate goal.

It’s honestly hard to believe that a character that has convinced people that his empathy level is so low that he barely even forms any attachments (as evidence with his betrayal) started off as an extremely sensitive and emotionally intelligent child.  His confidence is constantly challenged because of his blood from both sides.  His parents put him on a pedestal because his relation to them is what makes him special and therefore he must succeed.  On the other front, he is subjected to harsh ostracization from the general Marleyan public for simply being Eldian.  And at training, being the weaker of the child soldiers, he is put down by instructors and his trainee peers.  And even so, he still finds a bit of salvation in learning how to pitch while having some close conversation with a kind stranger.  Where he can’t find affection and acceptance in one area, he finds it in Xaver.

Still, the reality is that he is given these expectations that he himself simply has no strong drive to achieve nor the physical strength.  He presses on for the sake of his parents, but only his success will gain their acceptance and...he is unable to do it.  I think the most heartbreaking thing about this is that he accepts that he is somewhat of a tool for their agenda yet he sticks his neck out in hopes that he gets affectionate attention from his parents.  The fact he watches a child play ball with their father on his way home show that it’s an attention he craves because he doesn’t receive it often.  Even when he knows they are soon to get caught, Zeke’s first instinct is to say his goodbyes and surrender to whatever fate has in store for him.  To him, he is useless to carve his own path.  He has failed his parents, the Restorationists, the whole Eldian race, and himself.

Parenting Contrast: Grisha&Dina v Carla

I do briefly want to say that I don’t think Grisha and Dina were bad people, they are bad (not worst) parents and were too radicalized in their beliefs to realize that their son was emotionally struggling with self-esteem issues.  Anything they knew about Zeke was very on the surface.  Their priority was the revolution.  They manufactured a child for this due to their ignorance and anger.  But I don’t think they didn’t care about Zeke at all.  Zeke, to them, was to gain just as much of a positive outcome and life of freedom if he succeeded.  They were never aware of the pressure they put on Zeke.  Grisha later assumed that their negligence was the reason for Zeke’s betrayal and he never blames him for it.

Ironically, though, Eren is the appropriate child Grisha could have had for his revolution before it rapidly failed.  Second time’s the charm?  This is likely due to Eren’s lack of responsibility.  There were no dire expectations until later in his life.  Carla parented opposite of Dina and Grisha, believing that not everyone has to be special to be great.  Eren had more options open to him. 

Regardless, I don’t think Grisha quite parented the same way as he did with Zeke, but it may have been a bit difficult to keep reactions to certain circumstances subtle.  I don’t know if we’ll ever get more insight about why Eren used to be a weird loner kid that followed life through “the strong conquer the weak” system.  I just have a sneaking suspicion that it’s due to indirect mimicking of Grisha’s behavior.  After all, a real issue in this series are ignorant adults.  Or sometimes kids are just weird and easily influenced.  Unfortunately, in the end, Grisha does resort back to pressing responsibility on his second son, most likely because of their dire situation and Eren’s willingness to break free.  Because Eren is his son, of course.

Bit by bit, however, Zeke seems to be progressively aware of the obsession his parents have over their revolution plan.  They spend very little time with him, so he is often spending time with his grandparents, effectively keeping the cover up for his parents.  And any time they do spend with him is spent reversing the studies he has learned at school.  Zeke accepts the lessons but isn’t enthused.  I mentioned that he doesn’t really seem to question which history is correct and which isn’t; he doesn’t cast doubts on either and it’s difficult to say whether Grisha’s teachings were ones he felt were more accurate or that he was just parroting in order to gain approval.  A majority of his interactions with his parents are “yes” and nods.  

When Xaver comes into the picture and Zeke projects him as a father figure, he becomes more aware of his parents’ actions.  Which is why I don’t think it was especially a struggle for Zeke to believe Xaver when he told him that his parents don’t really care about him and that it’ll be worth selling them out if it means he and his grandparents get to live.  Zeke is very good at shutting down his emotions at this moment.  He is, however, not without heart though, because he continues to nurture that fondness for Xaver, who he is later a successor to.  In fact, he is the reason why Zeke entertains the idea that Eldians should stop reproducing.

The Plan and is Eren actually part of this?

This is where things get controversial, of course.  On one hand, technically, no longer existing means that they would no longer have to suffer.  Zeke says those on Paradis are ignorant to what the world has in store for them.  This isn’t to buy more time to properly unite with other nations, it was time to stop reproduction altogether and (probably) eliminate the Eldians on Paradis.  To Zeke it’s merciful to end this.  But it’s still genocide.  And I don’t believe this is the ultimate answer nor do I believe Eren is actually going to end up accepting this plan.

Unlike Zeke, Eren grew up with an everlasting flame that urged him to seek freedom in every format.  Freedom of his environment, freedom of his choices, etc.  He too gets weighed down by crushing expectations, becoming something of a tool for the military and government to achieve victory, but it is something that he genuinely wants.  Included, he still had the compassion of his comrades.  He wished them long lives.  He believes that people deserve to live simply by being born into the world.  Their existence gives them the right to freedom.  It gives them a chance to fight.  Sterilization is a big surrender.  Death and prevention of life, robbing that choice from others, is completely contradicting to anything Eren has ever learned, said, or believed in.  And I think his reaction to Willy’s words at the festival is a key indicator that his intention is to keep the Eldians alive.  I’m not sure how far ahead Eren is in terms of double crossing his brother, but at the very least, I think that if he knows Zeke’s true intentions, he has found or is finding a way to skirt around that option and use Zeke for his own plans.

I plan to write a progression meta theorizing Eren’s motives that edits and re-publishes with every reveal in each chapter but basically my guess is that Eren does know what Zeke wants and that he has been playing along with Zeke’s orchestrated plan, festival, Warhammer Titan, prisonbreak, etc. to earn loyalty points.  Which unfortunately included him killing innocents in the process.  But if Zeke really does believe their deaths are their true freedom, then Eren has to convince Zeke that he believe the same too.  Doesn’t mean he hasn’t internally struggled as a result.  But for now, Eren’s individual thoughts remain an enigma so it’s difficult to pinpoint his exact intentions at the moment.

Explosive (haha) End

Anyway, the other big thing was Zeke’s dramatic escape act which required an enormous explosion and the splitting of his own body.  Uh, yuck!  But I can’t help but feel a bit tickled that we actually have a panel with Zeke’s detached ass in the air.  His torso, including his neck and head, are more or less together, so he can easily pull off the Reiner trick to implant his brain to elsewhere on the nervous system so that he can regenerate from there.  So, yeah, Zeke will be fine.  And probably pantless if he can’t recover his lower half.

Levi, on the other hand, has no regenerating powers and appears pretty injured if the blood splattering off his body is anything to go by.  He wasn’t as close to the explosion, so it’s possible any injuries he sustained are because of the shooting debris and/or his sword, which he still had out in front guarding his body prior to the fuse going off.  I remember when the first grainy image of this panel came out and everyone was zooming in and tracing areas to figure out if Levi lost anything.  I think it’s consensus now that Levi has both legs intact and at the very least his left arm.  The only big question is whether his right arm is there and any other injuries on his torso or face that may exist.  If you want my personal visual analysis and theory, I think his injuries are not fatal nor crippling, meaning all his limbs are intact, but he probably has decent sized gashes on his body to have him temporarily side-lined.  I think the angle of the drawing and multiple gradients to indicate fast motion and blood direction is meant to give the reader uncertainty but in the end it’ll reveal that nothing was lost.  At least, I hope so.  It would be absolutely disheartening and irresponsible to put him out of commission for the rest of the series and the rest of his life-- I think out of all the suffering Levi has gone through, he definitely doesn’t deserve to feel completely useless to do anything,  Plus it’d be extremely underwhelming to set your strongest and most popular character on the bench before the big climax.

I will say that Levi is definitely not dead, though.  None of the notable deaths we’ve seen have been obscured by body angles.  They’ve been explicitly shown without debate on their status, Erwin and Sasha especially.  I believe the only off-screen deaths the series has had was Moblit and Ymir, and even then the scenes before then leave you no doubt to their inevitable fate.  Even Marco eventually got a scene of his death.  And neither of these deaths happened as cliffhangers.  But false death cliffhangers have always been a thing in the series.  Plus, I think Levi is far more deserving of a multi-panel, half chapter death scene if he were to die at all.

I do think he will land in the river and those injuries will prevent him from fighting effectively against the current to stay in his location.  I believe the convenient landscape was rather deliberate as it gives Zeke enough time and lonesomeness to recover and seek Eren.  Really, the explosion was an excuse to remove Levi from the scene and quickly be transported elsewhere.  But I want to bet we won’t find out Levi’s fate for another couple chapters.  Because Isayama is just that cruel!

....

Sorry this got extensive.  I’m still building up on these thoughts, so nothing is definite or without possibility of change.  But to summarize, Zeke’s childhood is sad, his plan is genocide and Eren ain’t about that life, Yeagerbros are dramatic people and forever interesting to me, and Levi is alive and battered but not handicapped.

That said, I would love to hear from everyone else about what they thought of the chapter.  Were you sympathetic to Zeke’s backstory?  Is he irredeemable?  What’s Eren’s role in all this?  Does he actually subscribe to Zeke’s scheme of eliminating all Eldians to end their suffering, or does he have other tricks up his sleeve?  Is Levi alive? How bad are his injuries?  Does he know how to swim?

Will I ever recover from the emotional rollercoaster this chapter has put me though?

Thanks for sending this ask!  I haven’t meta’d in a while and this honestly is inspiring to write again!

[hellsbellssinclub]

Can You See Me Now? Chapter 1

This is my newest Batman fic.

Summary:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

After some nudging from Spoiler and Batgirl, Tim seeks out the Red Hood to ask the older teen for permission into his territory to follow up a lead. It was a small, innocent action but it was the starting point for both Tim and Jason to get to know each other.

But things are never as they seem and things always get better before they get worst.

Read it here on AO3

(Sorry to mobile users, the read more I put on the post does not seem to be working on the app)

“Look, I’m just saying that there is probably more to everything than what Batman told you. Maybe the now not dead Robin isn’t as bad as you think.” The young woman in the eggplant purple suit said for the seventh time in the last fifteen minutes.

“And I am telling you he broke into Titan Tower and beat me with my own bow staff, Spoiler.” Tim sighed, looking over at his Ex, feeling the dull burn of his broken ribs as he breathed in deep. “I know that Batman isn’t telling me everything about what happened. Neither is Nightwing or Agent A. I am in the dark as much as you. But really, I think there might just be a chance that he holds a teeny tiny little grudge against me.”

Steph shook her head at him. “I know he beat you and I know something went down with the Joker but!” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything over her. “I have looked into every kill and action he has made. From start to finish. While he has been incredibly violent, and well, bloody and stuff, he has not killed an innocent person. Everyone he killed were violent drug dealers and pimps who were hurting the working girls. Crime has gone down in his territory in the last month.”

Tim gave her a pained look. He knew that Jason Todd as the Red Hood was technically doing a lot of good for Crime Alley, a place that has not had a stable crime lord or hand controlling it since Bruce was still a kid. And with Bruce’s own personal dislike of the area because of what happened to his parents and the GCPD’s unwillingness to investigate anything that happens there, Crime Alley often went unchecked and unnoticed by everyone. The Red Hood had strict rules he was willing to enforce and from what Tim had managed to overhear so far, the people who lived in Crime Alley felt a lot safer with the Red Hood around.

But that still does not change the fact that Jason was completely unstable and willing to murder nearly everyone who got in his way. The former Robin was willing to take that extra step to make his point. There had already been at least fifteen cases of torture reported to the GCPD that they know about.

(Though most of those cases were of convicted paedophiles and child molesters and honestly, Tim could not really fault the former Robin for what he did there; he too occasionally got the urge to do horrible things to predators as well, though he himself never acted on it.)

Red Hood’s official death toll was almost at sixty with the possibility of the GCPD finding more bodies every day. Crime Alley might be safer for the people who live there, but that safety was brought with blood and death caused by Jason’s hands. It was not the kind of safety that would last long. Not in Gotham anyway.

At least Jason’s vendetta against the Bat’s had died down though after whatever happened with the Joker that night nearly a month and a half ago. Bruce was not willing to share what had happened and the older man deleted the Cowl Cam footage before anyone else had a chance to see it. The Joker still lived, which was unfortunate in his own personal opinion. Yes, Tim fully believed in Bruce’s ‘save everyone you can’ view of the world but if he was to be honest, Tim would not grieve if the Joker was to be violently murdered by someone. Because really, that cockroach needed to die and just be stopped permanently.

“While I do agree that the whole, you know, serial killer-antihero thing is working in Crime Alley, it still doesn’t change the fact that he beat me up and tried to kill B and N. I really don’t think he wants me to come into his territory and act like we are friends or something.” Tim kicked a stone off the ledge they were standing on. Yes, he was still holding a grudge. But who could blame him really? He got beaten up by his predecessor while said predecessor wore an absolutely horrid copy of the original, green panties, Robin suit.

“I’m not saying go out and act like his friend, Robin!” Steph waved her hands again. “I am saying maybe you could extend the olive branch to him? Because from what you have told me, the guy was murdered in a pretty traumatic way, woke up in his own grave, dug his way out and then was more or less prisoner of those crazy assassin dudes who are obsessed with immortality? Maybe if you and the other Bat’s give him a chance to talk and stuff without the Joker and explosives involved you could actually get through to him. Everything that he has done to you guys, have you considered perhaps it was a cry for help?”

Tim sighed. “When you put it like that you make us sound like a bunch of dicks you know.” He shook his head and slumped his shoulders. She was right. But only to a point. Jason’s actions at the Tower and his anger at the Bats could be seen as a cry for help, especially given what they did know about the trauma that Jason went through. “But it still doesn’t take away the point that he attacked me and the others and while he hasn’t made another attempt against me, he has fought B and Nightwing recently.”

“He probably fought them because they were the ones who entered his territory.” Steph pointed out. That was also true, if Jason had come into his territory he probably would have attacked the older teen without a second thought. He could see the former Robin doing the same if Bruce and Dick tried to enter Crime Alley. “I get it Tim, I really do. He hurt you and that sucks ass. I am not saying that you have to forgive him or anything. I am just saying maybe extend the olive branch to him. You were saying before that one the leads in one of your cases, the one with the underground alien tech, was in Crime Alley, right? Let him know that you are following up on a lead and that you will not cause any trouble for him.”

He gave a low hum of thought at that. Tim’s original plan for that case was to go out in the day, skipping his afternoon study hall at school and going to look for the tech without his gear. It would have been risky but there would have been a better chance that he would not run into the Red Hood. There also would have been a greater chance that he would have been mugged because he looks like a rich white boy with money (which you know, he is), but Tim was confident he could have taken on anyone who attacked him.

But going and asking for permission? Tim had not even considered that an option at all. And honestly, why would he? Jason Todd had made it clear that he hated his ‘Replacement’ and that he wanted nothing to do with the Bats and Birds of Gotham. How would the older teen react? He wondered. Would he attack Tim? Or would he let him pass?

“Hey, if you don’t feel that you can be near him with without him attacking you then you should just bring Batgirl with you.” Steph grinned at him behind her Spoiler mask. Smiling always looked so strange behind her mask but one can definitely see the outline of it. Tim could not help but roll his eyes at her words though.

“I am not bringing Batgirl with me like some kind of bodyguard. I am a grown ass vigilante, I don’t need a bodyguard.” He wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t. He was nearly fifteen, he could take care of himself without Batgirl babysitting him.

“Oh, come on! Batgirl wouldn’t mind! Would you, Batgirl?” Steph looked over his shoulder, causing him to spin around and glare at Cassandra, who was standing a few feet away. He had not noticed at all that she was there and there was a small shock of panic and fear that went through him at that thought. He hates it when people manage to get the drop on him. Cass was the second best in the Bat family at sneaking up on people, right after Bruce.

“We need to put a bell on you before you give me a heart attack.” Tim groaned out, covering his face for a moment. At least Cass never went out of her way to purposely scare him, unlike Nightwing had when Tim was first starting out as Robin. His situational awareness has improved since he was twelve, thank god, and Nightwing was now not able to jump out of the celling and scare him anymore.

Cass gave him a small snort. “Am not Catwoman. Don’t need a bell.” The smirk looked as strange behind Batgirl’s mask as it did Spoiler’s. “I would be happy to bodyguard for you.”

Tim rolled his eyes behind his domino mask. Steph and Cass becoming friends was a horrible idea. He never should have encouraged it. They were both terrible together. Steph always had something to say or do and Cass was always happy to follow her new friend around, enjoying being a teenager like she should. Steph encouraged Cass to step outside her comfort zone and explore being a teen and Cass was willing to do most of the things that Steph suggested.

They were good for each other. But not good for his sanity, seeing as they roped him into following whatever crazy stunt they had planned.

“I don’t need a bodyguard.” He whined at them both. He didn’t need Cass to hold his hand. He could talk to Jason. And if he gets his ass kicked then he could just blame Steph for the idea and spend a week with the Titans licking his wounds.

Not literally. That would be gross. Why is that phrase even a thing?

“Am bodyguard now. No take backs.” Cass nodded, sounding pleased with herself and he groaned in annoyance. He doesn’t need Cass babying him. He is Robin! Terror of the Night and Batman’s partner. He hated being babied by Cass and Dick. They always pulled the ‘I am the older sibling and you are the baby of the family’ card on him. He can’t wait until he could be the big brother. One day he will give the Robin suit up and then he can be the one babying someone else. “Why is a bodyguard needed?” Cass asked, moving to stand next to Steph.

Before Tim had a chance to say anything, his purple menace of an Ex-Girlfriend spoke. “Tim is going to go and ask the Red Hood if he could go into Crime Alley. We need you to bodyguard him because we don’t know if the Red Hood is going to beat Tim up again or not.”

Tim shook his head. “Names, Spoiler. No names on the field.” He reminded her, closing his eyes in annoyance. Steph was bad when it came to remembering the ‘no names on the field’ rule now that she knows his name. If he didn’t know better he would say that she is doing it out of spite because he didn’t tell her it himself.

And Cass was either going to be all for being Tim’s bodyguard or she is going to be against it and honestly, he wasn’t sure which one he preferred.

On one hand, there are a lot of advantages to having Cass actually guard him while he spoke to Jason. Mostly all of them were that she could kick Jason’s ass. It wouldn’t matter how skilled Jason now is, Cass would win.

On the other hand, if she is against it she could go and tell Bruce which would end up with him benched and on the receiving end of a cold shoulder and disappointed glare for the next month or so. And he would probably have several new trackers placed on his person without his consent. Because B can occasionally forget to use his words and just say ‘I am worried about you, please be safe’ out loud.

Mind you, Bruce is still a lot better at emotions than Jack Drake. Tim’s father only really did emotions in small, but over whelming bursts. Which means Tim usually gets a weekend or two of father-son like interactions and then it is several weeks of ‘we exist in the same house but are mostly strangers to each other’. Which is always fun.

Cass said nothing for a few moments, her head tilting to the side slightly as she no doubt read Tim’s body language and seeing his hesitance and his inner monologue. “What’s in Crime Alley?” She asked finally.

“A lead to one of my cases. The alien tech one that I have been working solo on.” Tim explained. Cass had not yet said yes or no and he was still very much undecided on which way he wanted her to choose.

“Come on! Big bad Batgirl can definitely take on the Red Hood if he tries to hurt our Baby Bird!” Steph wrapped an arm around Cass’s shoulders. “And you guys can extend an olive branch to the guy by being nice and you know, asking to be let into his territory.”

Cass hummed, which once again was not a yes or a no. She gently shook off Steph’s arm and looked at both Tim and Steph. “Why extend the olive branch?” She asked. “He is a murderer. He kills people and makes Batman sad, here.” She pointed to her chest, right above her heart.

Whelp, that’s an understatement. Anything to do with Jason Todd hurt Bruce. When Tim was first starting out as Robin he could barely mention Jason’s name without Bruce completely shutting down. It had gotten better over the years. Sometimes Bruce would mention Jason in passing or would say something about how the young boy used to be. But now that it was known that the Red Hood is Jason Todd, things have gone back to the way they were at the start and Tim did not know what to do other than avoid mentioning Jason or the Red Hood all together.

“Spoiler believes that there is more to the story than what B has said and that there we should hear Hood out and let him tell his side of the story.” Tim explained with another sigh. He wondered how many times he was going to end up sighing in this conversation and thought to himself that perhaps he should stop doing so already because ow, his ribs do not like it when he sighs at all. “She also believes there is a chance that his behaviour and actions could have been a cry for help and that we should perhaps try and talk to him instead of you know, fighting at any given chance.”

“Yep! That is some good summary skills there, Ex-Boyfriend of mine.” Steph nodded and looked at Cass expectedly. The mask made it impossible to tell what Cass was thinking. Not that it was easy for him to read Cassandra without the mask but it was slightly easier without the frankly unsettling mask staring at you in the eyes.

There is a good reason as to why he would never go for a full-face mask when he finally is ready to let go of being Robin. And that reason is that is that he is more than likely going to see his mask in the reflection of a window or something and then forget that it is his mask and then scream in fear. Which you know, would ruin the whole serious vigilante look he would be hoping for.

Thus, he will probably only stick to a domino. Or a cowl. But a cowl is slightly too Batman like and Tim did not want to be Batman. He would have to think on this more in-depth later.

“Cry for help?” Cass tilted her head again. “You believe that the killing is his way of crying for help?” If anyone else had said that, Tim would believe that they were being dismissive or sarcastic. But Cass just sounded curious.

“Well, yeah.” Steph waved her hands carelessly as she began to explain. “I met him a few times back when he was Robin. He was a great guy. He was kind. Sure, he was a little bit rougher than Nightwing was when dealing with scumbags and stuff but he always stuck around to make sure that the victims were okay. All of his interactions with you Bats so far look like lashing out and cries for help if you ask me. I mean, he dressed up in a frankly fucked up Robin costume and beat up Tim. He was apparently angry that there wasn’t a statue of him in the Tower like there was for all the other dead heroes and whatever the hell happened with the Joker and Batman was well…” She trailed off.

Tim shrugged. “No one knows what the hell happened with those three.” And it wasn’t from lack of trying to find out either. Bruce was tight lipped about the whole thing and the Joker apparently only laughed when he was asked what happened. Tim suspected that Alfred knew what went down because the older man had been very stiff and cold towards Bruce for several weeks and has only just started to warm back up to him again.

“You think that we should reach out to him?” Cass asked. “Show him we can offer help?”

Steph nodded enthusiastically at Cass’s attempt to clarify what they were telling her.

“I do think that! And I think that Wonder Boy here is the best person to do it.” She gently punched Tim’s shoulder as she said this, making him rock back a little close to the edge. Steph may not be a meta but her punches, gentle or not, were stronger than she realised.

“Why can’t you do it? He hates me.” Tim pointed out. He really did not understand why she wanted him to do this. Yes, getting permission from the Red Hood could open up a professional relationship between them where they could actively avoid each other unless they needed to do something in the other’s territory. And yes, he could definitely see Steph’s point about how Jason’s actions did seem like a huge cry for help.

But Tim has already been beaten once by Jason and he honestly did not want to have another round with the older teen. The fight between them showed Tim just how much he was lacking in his training and he could not help but feel a deep, festering bitterness that he would never be as good as Jason was. As good as Dick was. It was a bitterness he was trying to push away and forget about but it never seemed to go away.

Tim didn’t want to offer the older teen help and then accidentally drive him away because he could not get a hold of his own mental health issues. Issues that he needed to actually address sometime soon, least he turn into Bruce. Or a supervillain. Either one would be bad for his health in the long run.

Steph punched his shoulder again, this time harder; causing him to wince because ow, why, that hurts. “Because Boy Blunder, you don’t have any history at all with him. Except for, you know, him beating you. And you are more than likely a trigger for him because you are now Robin. But still, you at least don’t have a history like Batman and Nightwing do. And he knows nothing about you as a person! He probably only knows what he has read about you from the assassins he was with!”

“All the more reason why you should talk to him and not me! You are a stranger to him, not me! Spoiler is new and not actually connected to Batman and Robin. And if you haven’t noticed I am Robin and something tells me he does not like that I am Robin.” Tim waved his hands in what he could best describe as ‘I am emphasizing my point and you are not listening to me’. He learnt this gesture from Steph when they first became friends and has used it a lot over the years.

“Look Tim; think about it like this. You are brutally tortured and murdered. You wake up in your own grave, dig your way out and are taken in by evil assassins. You spend who knows how long with said assassins and find out you have been replaced by a younger, better model who comes from the complete opposite background as you do. Your attempt to kill your murderer doesn’t work and your father figure is a dick. How do you feel?” Steph put her head in her hands and sighed before continuing.

“You need to be the one who talks to him because you are a Bat and someone who probably makes him feel like he was replaced by a better, richer model and that you are everything that he isn’t. If you talk to him, show him you are an actual person and not some cardboard cut-out of someone who he wasn’t, then maybe you could actually get him to talk about what happened to him and help him! Yes, I am a stranger to him and while we could get along and stuff he is going to need someone who is a Bat to speak to him at some point and…” She groaned. “I messed up my point. Tim, you are someone who is actually a part of all of this mess. I am not. Just, go and ask him for permission to enter his territory. If he says no then he says no. I will go and follow up that lead for you if that is the case. But please, try at least.”

Tim groaned again and looked over at Cass to see what she had to say about all of this.

“You,” Cass pointed at Steph. “You want Robin to talk to Red Hood. Because Red Hood is hurting. And needs help. Robin means a lot to Red Hood. It was his name, who he was before the Joker killed him. If Robin shows that he is not…” She waved her hand in a very vague but Steph like manner. “If Robin shows that he is not who Red Hood thought he was then the Red Hood will feel less like he is replaced or… unworthy? Red Hood was a good Robin. Now he is not good as the Red Hood. Bad things happened to the Red Hood, made him hard and angry. Extending olive branch might help.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Steph let out a low breath. “Why are you guys so good at summarising everything?”

“Nightwing.” Both Tim and Cass said together. Dick had a habit of not only rambling but also talking fast and without breaks. A habit of both his ADHD and from being best friends with a Speedster. Anyone who works or is with Dick for long periods of time learns how to summarise what he says.

It is a handy trick for Tim to know, seeing as he is also best friends with a Speedster and Steph has a habit of rambling herself at times.

“So…?” Steph trailed off and Tim, though he said to himself that he wasn’t going to do it because ow, sighed and completely ignored the pain in his chest.

“If Batgirl is willing to bodyguard than I will go and ask Red Hood for permission into his territory.” Tim felt slightly defeated.  He wanted to keep arguing that he really wasn’t sure that this was a good idea for either Jason or himself but at the same time he knows he would feel crap if he said no because Steph’s points were more than likely all true and-

And he did not want to be a person who ignores someone else who could be in need of help because he was selfish.

Tim has been lucky. Since becoming Robin he has had a wonderful support network that he has used a lot over the years and would never trade for anything in the world. Jason does not have that. Or at least Tim was pretty sure that Jason does not have that.

“I will bodyguard. Will only interfere if you are attacked. I will stay in the shadows and away from sight.” Cass said. “We do this tonight, on next patrol. It is late now. Time for bed soon.”

Cass was right, it was getting close to four am and Tim was due back into the Cave in less than half an hour. He was thankful that he did not have any classes until nine am because he wanted to have more than an hour sleep when he finally got back to his home.

“Oh wow. Today went quicker than expected.” Steph rocked back on her heels. “I am stuck in class tomorrow night but I expect to have at least three texts telling me how it all went from you both. Got it?”

Tim rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes, yes. Three texts. If I get beat up you are so making me waffles.” He pulled her into a quick hug.

“Whatever, Ex-Boyfriend.” Steph pulled Cass into a hug of her own and then was grappling away with a careless wave.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” He asked Cassandra quietly now that they were alone on the ledge. Cass looked at him, the eyes on her mask stared directly into his own white out lenses.

“I think… that there is a possibility that the Red Hood is falling without a net. And that his lines may have been cut by accident. By Batman. By Robin.” She paused and looked up at the dark sky. “We can offer him a new line. And a net. Falling without a net or line… It is not good. That mindset. You feel like you are flying, until you hit the ground.”

Tim flinched at that imagery. Jason had been hurt by the Joker and whatever the hell happened with his resurrection and the League of Assassins. The trauma alone from that would be enough to make enough the sanest man go a little wonky. But whatever happened with B that night with the Joker…

Whatever happened might have taken away his line, like Cass said. But Tim was not overly convinced that this is a good idea. Cass must have read his hesitance because she spoke once more.

“He needs to see you as a person, like Spoiler said. Not just as a costume. He needs to see not Robin but you.” She gestured to his body. “When he attacked you, he was looking for reason as to why you were supposed to be better than him. He wanted to see, prove himself and you, that he was the better one. Because if he was not the better one, than him being replaced would have been a good thing.”

Tim frowned at that. He had not thought of it that way. While he could see the attack against him in the Tower as being a cry for help like Steph kept saying, he did not think to look as to the reasons why it was a cry for help. Steph and Cass both were good at getting him to take a step back and look at the full details of the bigger picture. He would certainly be lost (and probably more emotionally stunted) without them.

Tim knows that he should not use them as a crutch for explaining emotions and details that he may have missed about basic human reactions, but Tim was not ashamed to say that he did not connect with other people well and often missed simple emotional matters that should have been obvious to him. According to the internet, this was probably because he missed out on many key interactions with his parents due to them constantly traveling around the world and leaving him home with a nanny who discouraged most emotional reactions he had. Because his nanny believed that ‘boys don’t do emotions like girls and he should man up already’.

Tim really, really needed to get his mental health checked out sooner rather than later.

“Okay. Yeah, I see your point.” Tim conceded. “What about you? Are you going to try as well?”

Cass hummed and nodded after a moment. “Yes. Will try with Spoiler and Oracle. Give some space between us and you. Keep him from feeling trapped.”

He hummed in agreement and gestured to the edge that they were standing on. “I am heading back to the Cave. I take it you are going back to the Clock Tower?” He asked, feeling drained. This whole conversation and everything about it made him feel like he had fought off an energy sucking monster. He wanted to go back to the Cave, get into his own clothes and head back to his own home. Or maybe just crash at the Manor. He will see what kind of mood B was in when he got to the Cave.

“Back to Clock Tower.” Cass nodded again. “Will Comm you tonight. Find where you and Hood are. Go to bed.” She reached up and ruffled his hair fondly and then flung herself of the ledge with grace that only Nightwing could copy. He watched her grapple her way towards the Clock Tower until she was gone from his sights.

His bike was down in the alleyway below him and it would take him only a short time to get to the Cave from his location. Tomorrow, well tonight really, was going to be interesting to say the least. He would like to say that the growing pit inside his stomach was just anticipation and not the low level of fear at the thought of speaking to Jason face to face.

The Red Hood was volatile, dangerous and had a grudge against the Bats. Tim had no idea how this was going to go and it frightened him. Jason Todd could simply say yes or no. Or he could just shoot Tim in the head and Batgirl or no Batgirl there would be no stopping him if he does.

Normally, being in that kind of situation was sort of exciting. Like a free fall off the top of the Wayne Enterprises tower. It was a rush that left a bubbling feeling in his chest that just screamed ‘I am alive!’ but he did not feel that right now. He just felt a low level of fear bubbling away in his stomach, making him feel nauseous.

Jason made it clear that he did not like Tim. Did not want to be near him or see him. The beating he had taken was not the worst one he had suffered through. But it had hurt him. Hurt him badly because this was Jason Todd. Robin. The boy who Tim used to follow around with a camera around his neck hoping to see in action.

What do you say to a person that had once been one of your heroes after they beat the living shit out of you?

Tim did not want to think about it at all right now. He needed to get back to the Cave and back home before B and his dad start to worry. He would think about it before he goes onto patrol. Not now while his head was clouded. But later when he was rested and ready for the night.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

World War III

1. I said "there's a remote" at least 10 times because I'm not a control freak but I'm also not trusting either. So i know i put an alternative to a satellite on land and I know I put a remote in case who we trusted didn't use the missle.

Now she remembers how i told her to turn the MISSLE on and off because i expected people to trust me and allow me to speak and not tell me im too stupid to not create a remote for a missle on NORTH KOREA when i lived in NEW MEXICO, USA.

Im not gonna say how. But there was also clue words this week to help her remember. But okay

2. So instead of saving the world, the world learned How to save itself. And that's better.

Our last war. And the whole world joined in. We are now completing WWIII. The best war ever!!!! That we finally are winning. The First World War that every country joined to fight and protect the world. 🌎 it was a real world war not a prissy fit over having the most money or the kings and queens (gods and goddesses) in the world.

3. The remote. I gave to the one person in the world that i knew for a fact that would kill her clone sister. No description no nothing. An active missle and it would be done 100%

4. The remote had no labels. I requested that it just look like an old hearing aid type device which i was told it was but was really a listening device we had in the cup above our sofa in NYC. But i didn't live with my parents and I didn't speak to my Uncle unless it was about is son or something wrong with the living conditions. I got my parents and neighborhood involved. I knew the consequences. So i never spoke about my days or nights and what i done in secret except on walks wirh our mouths covered or turn around and point at something random or look at the ground with our hair covering our faces, we coded/hid everything my friends and i did and even said.

4. She tested the first button then called North Korea to see what happened. The satellite had a little door which was unimportant. But it would indicate the sare was off. She was trying to figure out the turn on code which would been simple enough in a frustrated move.

5. As it was North Korea was invaded by Trump. 20 minutes into her struggle. So Kim Jong-Un unplugged it as per his instructions.

6. She understood the invasion but we needed the missle more than ever. So she tried to get him to turn it on. He refused because the satellite door closed. So they thought it was Broke. No. Its a dam on and off switch. Look its on!! look its off! SIMPLE look out the window!!

7. He wouldn't turn on the missle which would then turn on both the missle and satellite by default. SIMPLE.

8. She couldn't figure out the remote! They said it didn't exist! And no one would tell me what was going on. And the remote wouldn't plug in a missle launcher!! Im fucking sorry world!! 🌎

9. She had no instructions and no labels. She was to tell Kimmy she was experimenting. So he could tell her how to label it if she felt it was safe. With a number system only she remembered. But he wouldn't answer the phone because he got a new phone number for the missle room. She didn't know -- it just rang and rang. By the time she figured it was safe enough to interrupt the missle Trump invaded and Kimmy went to the bunker!!

10. She just tonight hit the button that notifies him what is happening to the machine which she hadn't had a chance to do before he unplugged it.

11. Everyone thought the priority was to fix the unbroken satellite. While holding hostage the Trump invader.

12. I can protect Ethan with falling planes that I wreck into with a Chinook i use my palms to propel on the dash board. I can run a war from a bedroom with nothing but my heart and soul and heal millions of dead. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOCK DOWN A MISSLE LAUNCHER INTO REMOTE MODE to go out for tea OR TELL IF A SATELLITE IS NOT BROKE. that is what i was told multiple times. And not by North Korea. My own fucking team that has studied every fucking thing I've done and seen i make Plans A - D just to walk myself to the bathroom. And assures me in the midst of a war that i am being throughly researched so we win. "Go get 'em champ!"

13. So last night i found William still working on the fucking satellite who said the piece was being made and it was 10 fucking days. For an on and off switch that was cosmetic and the actual switch was 1 foot inside the satellite in a bullet proof box that could never break. And hes begging to doubt anyone was actually making it.

14. This is bullsjit i said. Its not even fucking broken. I'm having a fit. Look at this fucking shit and i magnet in 18 satellites. "Get what you want" scream at one guy inside an old 1980s one i called Direct TV because it had a 2 way camera on it. So I use part of his to make a bullet shooter because this shit... Was on my last nerve. And i shoot EVERY GODDAM thing i can't see.

15. People from other people were calling the International Space Station asking "does she have a problem today?"

16. Yes And every galaxy was losing their evil. Cause Fuck i needed help so did they.

17. William finally finished not fixing the satellite and I propped open the button to turn it into a two seater. And we went to find out who i killed in the International Space Station. 45. So the 2/3 unhappy due to 10% were happy we found.

18. Truth or Consequences would take 5 and a half minutes to complete. Now it takes 6 and a half seconds. William sped it up. And set it to the core.

19. My GPS range is only 105 miles. Now 102.

World War III is almost over. It will be over -- should be -- by the time that the last time zone enters 2020.

Its been Hell.

We can all see that while us world leaders and I the smartest and bravest of any galaxy can still be overtaken by one troll.

Which is why we must always remember to work together.

My plans had no flaws. It was prepared for absolutely everything.

20. Even air war. The planes were all bullet proof and battle proof except the Pilot Windows. I designed the eQ2 fleet. Convinced her that they would open the windows like WWII planes for fun and should. Because nothing in the world would be better so don't waste money on extra bullet proofing. We gained one jelly filled body, only lost one good one arm and one jelly filled body (due to water and Tree healing) and millions of evil and clones. And I also used those planes to protect Ethan as they crashed and William protected Logan's twin today as i was busy.

21. I also designed the Chinook since 1998 in 2008 i made upgrades.

World War Three was a success for Planet Earth, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, Jupiter, San Frensesno, and Pluto plus many more including Mars and Venus.

And it was only fought on Earth all others remained Peaceful.

And each planet saw how to protect their planet so now in the future they can be as protected as us. I asked them not to intervene as i don't know their planets. Except in dire emergency. They didn't. So we did a fucking good job.

22. Pluto we designed War assistance together so we knew them. Since 1994 they have been here to protect us. That is why it became uncategorized as a planet.

So Happy New Year. I'm sorry NYC I missed it once again. It's only 10 pm here

Im down to 98 miles.

What have I said?

Our plan of defense and protection failed.

We continued to defend as we were attacked and successfully protected.

...

We failed at working together. So we got more people to help us. And when that was scary, we called Pluto and gave them the honor they deserve. And they loved it.

So ask for help.

"Hey babe help me with the dishes" and talk about your day you'll probably end up in giggles if you talk about me.

"Hey babe. Finish reading that paperwork I was sent on missiles will you" and you may just end up saving the world.

"Hey doofus, remind me every once in a while that you died in 1998. That would help me a whole lot to figure shit out on my own and beat amnesia because i been beat in the head too much" and you may Just never know to fucking say that!!! So don't let your soulmate trick you into saying something stupid!

So ask for help when you know you need it.

The world knew how much they wanted to help. Did y'all know how much we needed it? In the end... We really didn't. But the world needed to help. And we needed to help them. Us.

My Twin Brother doesn't drive 362 mph on training days because we like to take the slow lane.

We wanted every one to be happy and safe as fast as possible.

That was a downfall as soon as Gary Trump found out how to regrow the penis I shot off in 1984 on purpose, cause he is a pervert. He thought he could finish taking over the world with his greed.

And what happened class?

He began to. And we dominated him. We would gotten to the satellite and we would still fought the way we had even if he was still alive. But the healing and damage would been much greater.

We could have handled it easy. We had mild shit. Y'all if I25 had air war which did until I announced no GPS or lights and the neighborhood commander retreated and admitted defeat and announced surreandered.

I could had had the planes fall to protect y'all. And still had time for Wichita Texas with brothers Ethan, Logan and Ezekiel.

I pulled William and Matt out for their sakes. They needed a break, anyway. It wasn't punishment it was to protect them as they were targets. Sure its easy to heal but come on. Why for when your mom and dad are here for the first time in thirty years? Don't go to work. It's safer and healthier on Earth... Or was supposed to be for William.

Yet a bad thing worked fine in the end.

Because we all began caring in ways we hadn't before or in a long time.

For the first time Mr McNabb lost a child. Before he never had the loss his children did when he was taken in as a hostage then human trafficking victim. So he finally learned the sadness his children felt all their lives when thinking about their parents. The craziness he thought he saw was actually beauty of the mind and heart working together not to just survive but help others as well and to help them heal. And now he sees his sons not only as fierce fearless warriors but also as healers that are gentle and kind. And he can recognize the sadness and fear he kept hidden all these years. And finally let it go.

Tonight if you have Pluto with you. I am on the west mesa near the Belen airport.

Up here your loved one will stay the longest.

If you are evil. Your last moments can be spent here and may be finally for once your greedy heart can begin to grow. Much like the Grinch and you have a chance to save your soul

I am the only Jesus you will ever know.

I am at 70 miles range now. At 1050 pm

[kyberled]

also; kind of a meta topic — what would braig's life had been like if his father, rather than his mother, died? what would he have been like if his mother had raised him alone (or perhaps with her parents, or a new partner, or other extended family) in her care, without eadric? or, perhaps divorced from eadric in a strangely ideal situation in which they receive financial stability from him but he rarely has any contact with braig.

Metas || Accepting literally always

Ho boy. I got a lot to say about this. First off, I do wanna make a few points about Eadric, cause, he wasn’t always a flaming mass of acrid fecal matter in a vaguely bitter humanoid shape. He wasn’t a great person by any means, but it was a lot of the fallout following Shiv’s accident that made him as bitter and disgusting as he is, today. He never wanted kids to begin with, and would’ve been a bad parent regardless, but, yeah, not quite as awful as he is, now.

So, if Shiv had never died, Eadric still wouldn’t be very involved in Braig’s life. As I said, he never really wanted kids, so he decided he’d take on extra duties and whatnot at work, which had the double bonus of letting him stay away from his responsibilities and bringing in extra money so Shiv could take time off to actually, you know, be a parent to their very young infant son? But it worked out well for them, they each got what they wanted (mostly), Braig was well looked-after by Mum and Dad didn’t get to bother him while also providing the financial support, and sometimes Shiv would go out to help at the hospital she worked at and leave Braig in the capably-programmed hands of the various droids they owned, after lecturing them on exactly how to take care of her baby, right down to the very finest of details regarding his feeding. She was kind of obsessive over making sure Braig was okay. If Eadric had died, then obviously Shiv would have to spend a lot more time at work, and a lot less time with Braig, in order to make end’s meet, and he’d probably spend a lot of time being raised by droids, which, while not necessarily a bad thing, it would definitely impact his upbringing and perception of things. As an added bonus, this would really stress Shiv out and make her feel guilty about not being there for her kid, which in turn would bring down her mood, and of course impact their relationship. She does her best to avoid taking any of it out on Braig, of course, and on the rare instances she does snap at him, it’s followed instantly with apologies and hugs - “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to yell at you, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, work’s really tough right now but I still shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry, I love you”, that kind of thing, but she still feels kinda like garbage afterwards. Once she works her way up in the hospital staff, it’s less taxing on her, and bonus points come in the form of getting some time off to spend with her boy. Some usual activities for them include going to the book store, the tea shop, or the park, though they also enjoy spending time at home. Sometimes they’ll just read, or watch holovids, or cook. Braig figures out he likes cooking a lot earlier in this verse than the canon, since he doesn’t really have much else to do, without training or missions to get in the way. He’s obviously not in nearly as good shape as he is in the canon verse/main timeline, for obvious reasons, but he’s still a wiry little guy with a metabolism that could outpace an out-of-control speeder. I like to think that the Force in an untrained individual, or, at least, an untrained Braig, manifests itself in the form of loads of pent-up energy, all the time, and a lot of stimuli that non-sensitives can’t pick up on, kind of like the air being filled with static electricity and your ears always getting filled with whispers, maybe random fluctuations in temperature without it getting actually hotter/colder– It’s kind of hard to explain, but just think about the air feeling different based on how strong in the Force a place is, and of course this can also amplify other sensations caused by the Force, as well. I also headcanon, at least in Braig’s case, that phantom touches can be a thing, like feeling something brushing by when nothing is there, and it can be really disconcerting if you’re not used to it. Of course, how strong these are depends on how strong the specific person is in the Force. Since Braig is still the same old Braig, he’s got enough midichlorians swimming about in his cells that he could have been a Jedi, if his mother had agreed to give him to the Order, and so he’s pretty susceptible to the different signals the Force sends into his brain. Adding to this is the fact that he’s never gotten any training, and so has no idea how to throw up the ‘shields’ or barriers that Jedi use to dull the feelings that the Force gives him, so he’s basically just getting slammed in the face with all sorts of stimuli twenty-four seven, but it’s been like that for as long as he can remember, so he’s pretty much used to it, by now.

Tl;dr, Braig who was not taken in by the Jedi is more easily distracted, and wired on some kind of energy, and in some places gets really bad mojo and just generally feels terrible, and that definitely reflects on his mood.

He’s also a lot less selfless in this AU, if that’s the word I’m looking for. Or, well, maybe more attached to material goods is a better way of phrasing it. Less likely to put himself at risk for the greater good, or whatever. I wouldn’t call him a bad person by any means, but he’s not trained to think other people just matter more than he does. He tries to be helpful when he can, and he wants to make his mother proud and do good like she does, but in the end, he’s just a normal teenager. He’s not a civil servant, not a monk, just a kid with a pretty good heart in his chest. He’s less brave, as well, since he hasn’t been forced to endure the horrors of war at a young age, but he also doesn’t have a lot of the same fears he had as a Jedi, such as the fear of worms and snakes, of narrow underground spaces, and even his fear of abandonment isn’t nearly as bad as it was what he was a Jedi. He’s not subject to the nightmares and insomnia and whatnot in this verse, so, while he’s not as in shape, he’s probably healthier, since he’s getting regular sleep and a lot less stress. He’s also got a lot fewer scars, for obvious reasons, so, that’s a bonus.

In this verse, Shiv actually doesn’t have nearly as many problems with Eadric, the Republic, or the Jedi that she does in the canon, so they’re probably still married in this verse. Eadric’s not as much of a trash heap, as I said, but he’s also not the most involved person in the world. Braig doesn’t know him very well, but they don’t have the same antagonistic and detached and quite frankly abusive relationship they would have if he were Braig’s sole caregiver. He is still pretty strict, though.

Probably the really only positive interaction he has with his dad in this is chess. Instead of Obi and Shaak, his chess partner is Eadric. It’s really the only form of strategy Braig has to employ, so he’s not quite as good at war games as he is in canon. He’s also not even close to being at the level of combative skill as he is in canon. Again, this one’s kind of a given, but, oh, well.

He still goes on walks/jogs around the neighbourhood, usually at the parks, since, even if the Senate district is safer and less crowded than some other parts of the city, he finds the parks are a lot quieter and easier to navigate. I dunno if martial arts clubs are a thing in the Star Wars universe, though I’m not sure why they wouldn’t be, so he does that as well. It’s a good way for him to burn off more of the Force-given energy, gives him a decent social circle, and the bonus points are, Eadric quietly, and very distantly, approves of it as an activity.

Braig’s still interested in medicine, and follows in his mother’s footsteps of becoming a doctor, and in fact would volunteer his services to the war effort. He wouldn’t go out to the front lines, but he would go to planets that had been hit by the war and were trying to get back up on their feet, and give medical treatment to the people there. He might go to the front lines if he was dragged out, but he avoids it like the plague. Refugees, he will gladly help, but he doesn’t want anything to do with a war zone.

Even so, Braig’s not nearly as well-travelled as he is in the Jedi verse, and he doesn’t speak nearly as many languages. He speaks a few, but it’s more conversational than fluency, at best.

He wouldn’t live with his extended family, since they’re all living at least a couple levels down, and Shiv worked her butt off to get to the surface, where the air is filtered and clean, the sunlight is natural and bright, there aren’t nearly as many feral animals roaming the streets unchecked, and it’s generally a nicer place to live. If it were just her, she wouldn’t be as adamant about it, and might even venture a few levels down to live more within her means (If this were in a timeline where she’s not with Eadric/doesn’t have that financial boon), but, she would never subject her son to that. Only the best for him, she thinks. She kind of spoils Braig relentlessly. She’s also the glue that holds them together as a family, too. I’m not gonna say Eadric and Braig are best friends, or anywhere near as close as Obi and Braig are in canon, but it’s a positive-neutral sort of thing. 

He’s quieter in this verse, since he doesn’t have to confront politicians or enemy soldiers all the time, he hasn’t developed that outspoken personality as much. He’s more introverted, and another part is due to the fact that he doesn’t have that Force training he does as a Jedi. He doesn’t have the reassurance of being able to sense people’s emotions, so he’s not nearly as confident when speaking. 

I mean, overall, he has a pretty good life. His mom spoils him, he’s not a soldier, he gets an education. He can’t complain.

He does feel like he doesn’t really belong, though.

And, sometimes, on his runs around the city, he’ll stop and stare at the Jedi Temple, and he’ll wonder.

[theroseandcrown]

The Rose & Crown: Chapter Ten

Rating: M Chapters: 10/24

Summary: Clara has been meeting with the Doctor in secret, itching to go on another adventure despite her current circumstances. The Doctor is torn between Clara's safety and his own temptations. A presence in the ship lets itself known.

Read this story on another platform: Archive of Our Own Fan Fiction WattPad

Over a month had come and gone since the day the Doctor found Clara at the park and brought her back home. She came to visit him as often as she could. The more he saw her the more he felt whole again. Though she rarely brought up her personal life, he was fairly certain she had been sneaking away to see him. As would a young girl waiting until dark for her parents to go to sleep before stealthily heading out her window to go visit a boy. The more their child grew inside of her the greater the risk of travelling with her had become. He felt the need to constantly invent new excuses not to bring her anywhere to keep them safe. It was becoming far too dangerous for both of them.

The Doctor was seated with his feet on the console, a late-twentieth-century electric guitar in hand and playing a tune while deep in thought. He spent the past several hours tinkering around the control room working on a possible cure for their disease but had given up when what little information he could find available claimed there was none. Turning towards the console, he initiated a complete scan of his body. The result displayed shortly after on the view-screen in front of him. The TARDIS identified the foreign object in his mind, almost completely unnoticeable to the naked eye. Enhancing the scan, he was able to see the area in which the small sliver was lodged. The impact of it had slowly been spreading over more of his brain as time progressed. Sighing, he tapped a button on the console which replaced his scan with the most recent one he had taken of Clara during her last visit, unbeknownst to her of its true intent. He felt it best to let her believe he was scanning for abnormalities within their child rather than frighten her with news of their incurable illness. The result showed the same progression of the virus running through her frontal lobe impacting her emotions and behaviours.

Such a capable creature the Persuader was. Able to turn any good and honest person into a monstrous one, as well as the reverse. Because of the nature of the snare after it had been implanted, one could not simply wipe the memories from their minds attempting to void out the effects. Therefore, the memory worms were useless in this case and far too dangerous. A single touch of the worm’s skin could vary in the length of time a memory could be erased; anywhere from a few hours to a few days. A single bite from one could erase decades’ worth of memories. For Clara, that could mean her entire lifetime’s worth resulting in her not even knowing who she was any longer. For him, he could risk completely erasing her from his mind forever.

The longer she stayed with him, the greater the passionate tensions arose between them. As exhilarating as his desires for her were, he knew he had to find another way to reverse the effects of the virus before it became too dangerous for both of them. He needed to be able to have control over his thoughts again before he found himself in a situation where he had to make a clear decision, unable to choose because his mind was constantly clouded with the thoughts of his companion. Just as she needed to be able to choose to stay with him if she wanted to on her own, not because she was being forced to by an unyielding passion for him. Until he could find a fix, he felt it best to remain silent on the matter of their illness.

As he sat strumming his guitar and drawing upon possible solutions to their problem, he was suddenly startled by a most unsettling noise resonating from somewhere deep within the ship. A hauntingly sorrowful moan that sent a chill down his spine. He was frozen with fright as the noise emanated like an echo from an unknown source. Then it faded away as quickly as it had begun. Hoping the only explanation behind the sound was that it was simply a figment of his imagination, he was almost too terrified to even consider investigating when the door to the TARDIS opened and Clara burst in unexpectedly. Her face was flushed and damp as if she had been chased there.

“Did you hear it?!” he inquired urgently, his face still full of fear.

“Hear what?” she nearly panted as she closed the door behind her.

“Nothing. Well, probably nothing. Never mind.” He noticed her heavy breathing and instantly became worried. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“She moved!” she announced after finally catching her breath.

“Who did?” he asked, wondering how concerned he should be with his companion’s sudden outburst.

“The baby, she moved!” She started to approach him.

“...to where?”

“No, you daft man! I felt her move, inside me.” She leaned on the console to steady herself and waited for her heart to stop racing.

“Is that... normal?” he asked, unsure of how to respond.

“I should hope so,” she answered, now much more recovered. She took notice of his guitar and the overall clutter surrounding him. “What have you been doing in here?”

“Thinking.”

“About?”

“Why is your face all red?” he asked, avoiding the subject.

“I ran here.”

“You look like you just had a wash with your clothes on.”

“It’s raining.”

“Were you in some kind of danger?”

“No,” she quickly stated, ignoring his questioning brow. “I just wanted to see you is all. I was thinking maybe I should be here, you know, in case she moved again.” She thought about how his lack of emotional response towards any situation, including this one, was the main reason she created cue cards for him to read from in the first place. Although, the thought of having to add another situational card for ‘Sorry I put my alien offspring inside of you’ had crossed her mind.

“Ah, well, that sounds more like your area of expertise.”

“Right then,” she conceded, knowing how pointless it would be to spend her energy trying to reverse his remarkable disinterest in the changes going on inside of her. “Anyway, Danny’s away visiting friends over the weekend. I felt it best if I didn’t tag along. You know, would probably raise a lot of... questions,” she gestured towards her middle. “So, for the next two days, it’s just you and me.”

“I take it you haven’t mentioned anything to him yet, about me,” he stated dryly, leaning the guitar on the console as he stood from the chair. Moving away from her, he quickly cleared the view-screen from the evidence of their scans.

“Haven’t found the right moment yet.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and approached him at the console. “Besides, I didn’t know how long you planned on sticking around this time.”

He sighed, not entirely sure how to respond. All he knew was that he didn’t want to fight with her. He didn’t want to ruin whatever they were to each other now. “Listen, Clara. I-”

“I know,” she stopped him. “Look, let’s just enjoy this time for what it is. Okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, knowing not to argue with a pregnant woman.

“So, can we go somewhere?” she asked with a bit of excitement.

“Clara, I don’t think that would be in your best interest right now.” He moved around the console away from her while trying to ignore the temptation.

“Please?” She followed after him.

“No, I don’t think so.” He moved faster, creating as much distance from her as he could.

“Come on! You know you want to!” She gave chase. “Just think of all the adventures you’re missing out on while you’ve been sitting around here moping!”

“I’m not moping! It’s far too risky for a woman in your... situation.” He continued to circle the barrier between them like a game of cat and mouse.

“Just a little trip?”

“Why even go anywhere? Plenty of stuff to do right here!” He stopped at the view-screen and started typing in a few local locations. “Didn’t they just open that new shopping... thing... with the clothes? That sounds much safer. Besides, you could do with an upgrade.” He gestured towards her appearance.

“Doctor, please.” She pulled the view-screen out of his reach. “I haven’t been anywhere in weeks!”

He sighed knowing he was about to give in as he looked at her pouting face. “Fine, but just one trip! And nowhere too exciting. Wouldn’t want this to become a thing.”

“Deal,” she agreed, smiling up at him.

“And stop it with the eyes! Don’t do that with the eyes. How do you do that anyway? It’s like they inflate!” He added, becoming soft.

[penumbra-rp]

Becky, you will be playing the role of Ted Tonks! 

He is full of potential and cannot stand to end up like all those who stay mute, constantly working to make money for those who don’t deserve it, allowing the rich and the powerful to play twisted games and spoon feed them their beliefs and ideals like false prophets. 

Admin Ash: There’s so much that I adore about Ted Tonks and I don’t even know where to start. I think what strikes me most about him, is that he’s literally an underdog that you can’t help but want to root for. He’s the everyman that you can see a bit of yourself in -- he was that scholarship student with overbearing parents that probably wanted to see him get a PhD, an out-of-school millennial with a million-and-one odd jobs and a passion he’s shouldering his way into. He also just so happened to study Astrophysics and attempts to expose crime syndicates and big tech with his journalism skills. In the end, what I love, is that Ted has a goodness in him, a strength in him to not stay silent in the face of the injustices he sees everyday -- I just want to see him succeed and make sure he eats and has money for his rent! 

01. Out of Character

NAME: Becky

AGE: 23

YOUR BIRTHDAY: 17th January

PRONOUNS: she/her

TIMEZONE: GMT

02. In Character

CHARACTER: Edward “Ted” Tonks

CHARACTER’S PRONOUNS: he/him

FACECLAIM: Dev Patel

CHARACTER’S BIRTHDAY: 22nd February (Pisces)

PERSONALITY:

P O S I T I V E

E S C A P I S T ( + ) | Feeling like nobody else cares about exposing the horrors of the world and sulking miserably into his cold mug of coffee when the number of views of his latest article peaks below average, Ted enjoys finding ways to escape and allow himself time to breathe. Distractions come in the form of disappearing to the coast for the weekend or drinking a bottle too many at his friends’ house parties.

E M P A T H E T I C | Ted will criticize your actions. He’ll weigh them against his own moral standing ( which, in all honesty, is far from spotless ) and decide whether you fit into his all-too black and white world of good and bad. But very rarely will he judge someone’s emotional response. He feels deeply and can struggle with keeping his own emotions in check, never one to bottle things up. He’ll speak his mind and speak it truthfully – and he’ll expect you to do the same in return.

I N T U I T I V E | He works on feelings over facts or proof, chasing after threads that he’s picked loose. Paired with his career as a journalist, Ted has learnt a lot about reading people. Subtle clues don’t go unnoticed. It helps that he is also adaptable, managing to mould himself to situations, capable of making them feel comfortable and at ease even if red flags and alarm bells are ringing through his head.

N E G A T I V E

E S C A P I S T ( - ) | For all the wanderlust emotion-fuelled drifting comes its less romantic side: the coping mechanism of disappearing when the going gets tough. He’s not a huge fan of confrontation and, trie as he might to stand his ground in the moment, he’ll do all he can to avoid having gotten to that point in the first place. Unresolved issues and a habit of blaming others hound his heels, leaving a trail of problems in his wake that he’d really rather not think about.

P E S S I M I S T I C | Motivation and enthusiasm are quick to dip when things don’t go Ted’s way. He tends to look on the negative side of things, expecting the worse from situations that are out of his control for the sake of ( he hopes ) being pleasantly surprised when he’s proved wrong.

I N D E C I S I V E | Ted hates making decisions and can be hesitantly doubtful. Because of this, he can also be somewhat weak-willed and will listen to other people’s suggestions to help form his own, acting on impulse rather than taking the time to sit and think things through. Admittedly this doesn’t extend to everyone, but if you are someone who Ted trusts he will struggle to resist your influence.

BRIEF BULLET POINT BIO:

[ one ] His childhood is one of warm memories. Of being pushed to succeed and encouraged to dream. Of fighting his brother for the TV remote and hammering on the bathroom door when his sisters take too long to do their makeup. Of the scent of burning oil lamps during Diwali and scrubbing bright pink powder from under his nails after Holi. Of his dad coming home late from work and pressing a kiss to his forehead before bed and his mum cutting his hair every time it grew long enough to get into his eyes. Life is good and he knows he’s lucky.

[ two ] A university scholarship. Sometimes someone lucky is chosen, they say. In this case lucky means from a non-white, working-class family who otherwise can’t afford the tuition fees. When the letter comes through the door to congratulate him on being the chosen student from his college, his father says one thing: “decision time”. The words send a chill down his spine, fingers curling into fists as if recoiling. He does not wish to make a choice; cannot deem any of his options better than the others. Some consider the seventeen-year-old to be indecisive. Up until now, he has led a life full of what-ifs and maybes. When asked to choose a favourite colour, multiple will be given. When questioned as to what he wants to do for a career, it will change daily. The problem is, Ted doesn’t like making decisions. It is not that he will be lead blindly, rather that he would prefer to do as someone else suggests. That way he has someone else to blame when it all goes wrong. It is safer this way, he knows. He lets the influence of his parents, friends and teachers help decide what to study and sits through his astrophysics degree without complaint ( he even enjoys it, for the most part, but it’s not what he wants to spend his life doing ).

[ three ] He has always been creative. Not artistically, nor musically– but writing? Writing he understands. Like a duck to water, he has always been able to put pen to paper and conjure up stories. Some are true. Some are less so. Fragments of sentences line his pockets, scrawled on the back of receipts and old tickets. There is an escape in the words. So too is there the truth, written for all to see. The bluish glow of his laptop screen illuminates his face in the darkness of his room, sleepless at 3am and desperate to make sense of the tangled vines that are his thoughts.

[ four ] His best friend dies. It’s a jarring moment. A reminder that nothing is permanent, that life itself is temporary. He runs away from London for a while after that. In search of some greater purpose, perhaps. Or maybe just in need of some time alone, free from the grinding mechanisms that keep the world churning, air thick with traffic fumes and streets full of people all with somewhere to be. Little has changed on his return but there’s an edge to his tone which suggests he is yet to make peace with all that has happened.

[ five ] Rules are made to be broken. It’s a cliché saying, but Ted finds a certain intrigue in pushing boundaries. Restriction and regulations keep people tame, and he most definitely does not wish to remain caged like a tiger pacing behind bars. He is full of potential and cannot stand to end up like all those who stay mute, constantly working to make money for those who don’t deserve it, allowing the rich and the powerful to play twisted games and spoon feed them their beliefs and ideals like false prophets. He doesn’t have steady employment, claims he finds it far too mundane to anyone who asks, and instead earns his meagre living to pursue his passion of journalism. Of uncovering truths and unmasking monsters. For the moment the majority of his income is made taking up odd jobs advertised on coffee shop cork boards along with the occasional payment from The Quibbler when Xenophilius can afford it.

INTERVIEW:

i. How do you feel about your current occupation?

He doesn’t like being on this side of an interview. Not knowing what he’s going to be asked makes him uncomfortable, sending an unwanted and somewhat unexpected creeping sensation down his spine. Ted tries to settle his nerves, taking a deep breath as he reclines against the back of his chair. “Depends on which one you mean. The journalism? Going great. I get to work to my own hours, get to approve most of my own pitches. It’s cool. As for the rest of it– well. Office cleaning. Babysitting. Dog walking. Gardening. You name the odd job, I’ve probably done it. It is what it is.”

ii. What song would you say describes yourself?

Ted’s nose wrinkles, half amused by the question and simultaneously thrown by it. “That’s– Right. Wow.” He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees and fingers steepling together in thought. He wouldn’t necessarily say he has a specific taste in music. Nor would he say he’s the sort of person who can pluck a song off the top of their head. With a shrug, he shakes his head. “Shit, I don’t know, let me get back to you on that.”

It takes his seven hours to choose.

He wonders if that says more about him to the interviewer than the song itself.

[ 21:36 ] From: Ted

Got one! https://open.spotify.com/track/28mBT1l5sJrfSWn8KM3JLT?si=c0JzznyfSWSYhPTAcXtSzw

iii. Does reputation matter to you?

“No, not any more.” It’s an easy one to answer, although he imagines others would disagree. “Like– who cares what people think of them? Why bother? You can’t please everyone, that would be stupid. As long as the ones you love are proud of you, that’s all that matters, you know?”  

iv. What is your relationship with your parents like?

The smile that flashes across his mouth is bright, passing like an afternoon shadow only to return and make itself at home. As irritating as his mum’s near-daily calls are, and no matter how frequently his dad sends him links to vacancies at the Daily Prophet, he wouldn’t change any of it for the world. “We’re close,” he says fondly, knowing better than to spill all to an interviewer he a) doesn’t know and, by default, b) certainly doesn’t trust. There are people out there who hate him, hate his views of the world and the truth he spills ( he’s yet to get a death threat which, in all honesty, is a little insulting ). “It’s good. It’s a good relationship.”

v. What languages can you speak?

“A reasonable amount of Gujarati.” He takes English to be a given and dearly hopes the interviewer has the common sense to realise that. “Both my parents speak it fluently. My dad was born and raised in Ahmedabad and moved over here when he was my age and my mum is something like third-generation. Born in Harrow.”

vi. If your home was on fire and you could only save one item, what would you choose?

Ted whistles under his breath, leaning back in his chair to aim an unloving grimace at the ceiling. His tiny flat has never really felt much like a home and was more like a temporary space for him to exist in whilst he– well, he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. Saving up for somewhere bigger was laughable on his current paycheck. “I’d save my insurance policy details because claiming money back for the damages is going to be a fucking nightmare without them. Have you ever tried to talk to these insurance companies? They’ll literally make you sit on a phone in a queue for three hours listening to the same three ear-splittingly mind-numbing songs. As if losing my flat in a fire wasn’t bad enough, I’d then have to be put through musical torture? And it would all be on a payphone, I bet, given that I didn’t think to save my mobile. Shit, can I change my answer if I remember to take a photo of the right insurance documents before the fire starts?”

vii. Which Hogwarts University faculty did you study at? The Gryffindor School of Applied Science, the Ravenclaw School of Humanities, the Slytherin School of Social Science, or the Hufflepuff School of Art?

Amusement curls up at the edge of his lips like a cat in a patch of morning sunlight, settling in for a nice long stay. He doesn’t think about university often. Four years of lectures which he can only just remember the occasional fragment of information from. But there are life-defining memories there amongst the late night study sessions and the room-spinning hangovers. “I was a Gryffindor. Studied astrophysics, which– yeah, I didn’t really want to go into that field after I graduated. Space is amazing and everything but scientific research isn’t for me.”

vix. What is your social media username?

“My work accounts are all under quibblerted. Everything else is at tedtonks.”

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT COMPANIES

Yahoo exec I knew from working there in the late 80s. There are two main things you can do, but you need time to grow a user base. Xfire's VP of engineering had worked at Yahoo during 1998 and 1999.1 And the startup was taking off. The second biggest benefit of selling Viaweb to Yahoo after the money was the least important of the new startups about fundraising, and they need it a lot. Someone running a startup, so much the professors as the students. If a round takes 2 months to close a certain deal, go ahead. But people will do it. Most investors decide in the first Java white paper that Java was designed to be changeable.

It's not just the dogfood portals we all heard about during the Internet bubble. And yet he's a super nice guy. But iTunes shows that people will later say turned out to be widely applicable.2 Even in English, our sense of the word portal, what they meant was, form should follow function. Instead you should draw a few quick lines in roughly the right place and you've made this beautiful portrait. I make this explicit. One VC who read this essay will say that I'm clueless or being misleading by focusing on people who get PhDs in CS don't go into research.

I run a seed stage investment firm called Y Combinator. The huge investments themselves are something founders would dislike, if they hadn't had to write about these topics? Along with giant national corporations, we got giant national labor unions. Kids are the ones who have it, but I think we were designed to work, and when you take a vote, all you're measuring is the error. Whereas our m. I spent a year on a new version. You don't have to pay legal bills out of that initial small sum. Not everyone who gets rich by their own rules is missing the point.

Raising money is terribly distracting. It's too much overhead. Most hackers don't learn to hack by writing programs and which in a hundred years, I think, though. Smart people tend to clump together, and because the customers would be big companies, but at the same time, of course; when parents do that sort of narrow focus can be. To start with, Silicon Valley has been pulling ahead of Boston since the 1970s.3 A friend of mine who knows a lot about things that seem wrong, but things now work differently for most fundraising prior to the current batch, which has been rewritten to suit present fashions. But when you understand the origins of the world persists. And the crude version 1 then iterate, your solution can benefit from the imagination of nature is greater than the imagination of nature, which, as Feynman pointed out, small groups are intrinsically more productive, because the locations of mines and factories were determined by features like rivers, harbors, and sources of new ideas yourself? It works so well that those who teach can't do.4 Kids who went to another three times as much. So much better that you can't guess where these bottlenecks are. Of course, figuring out what you truly like.

Curiosity turns work into play. He also wrote the first prototype of AdSense, and was it wrong to take justice into your own hands, and was an early member of both of the principles we began with has a rather brutal converse: just as the market will determine that: if you're the least bit inclined to find an excuse to work on the same thing at different stages in its life: economic power converts to wealth, and social class are just names for the same reason you'd have overlooked the idea of good art, but for blacklists nearness is physical, and for the same reason Chicago investors are more conservative than they're willing to admit that to ourselves, because that's what they've been trained to. In a startup, as in, say, real estate development, you don't want to. Students could learn less, if to improve graduation rates.5 Imagine one of the founders of Zenter for letting me use their web-based alternative to MS Office.6 You don't win by winning lawsuits. If you're not convinced yourself. Imagine what it would take up, how little autonomy one would have for endless years of training, and how likely they are to their standard m. My parents were pretty good about admitting when they didn't get swelled heads. I have a hunch that something is truly missing.

There's another sense of not everyone can do work they love—that someone has to take whatever work he can get, and using anything else is a mistake, of exactly the same shape, scaled up. You know what a throwaway program is a program you were writing to a friend who tells you how to fix a bug that's been bothering you all weekend, or visiting a friend's startup down the street to the messy, tedious ideas, you'll be pretty queasy after the third meal of it. The sad fact is, most startups that die, die because they were cheap. I can now see, a doomed undertaking, because they seem safer.7 Imagine if, instead, you treated immigration like recruiting—if you're really organized—uh, what it all comes down to your own product and approach to the market. You're committing to search for them—not just at this stage, but if it bothers them so much they should get on with building the company. Ideally, no one has. Those groups never have that glazed over look. One of my tricks for generating startup ideas is hard. I probably read two or three times as much?8 Why do we have to look at stuff people use now that's broken.9 So I asked them if they need to fix.

In the UK, where taxes were even higher than in the hope of good returns, but also about existing things becoming more addictive. It's exciting to chase things and exciting to try to establish a mediocre university, for an additional half billion or so you could use for YC is a steam catapult, at least.10 The classic way to burn through cash is by hiring a great designer to design them so that the programmer he'll hire is Bill Gates—the probability might be 20% or even 50%. Even if you were to compete with focus is to encourage a culture of cheapness. People at a startup expect to get rich, and you suppress the other.11 And yet even when they could, if you want to reproduce Silicon Valley in another country. And yet the Lisps we have today are still pretty much what business consists of—you can figure out a way to do it? Where the method of selecting the elite is thoroughly corrupt, most of the stuff you learn in your classes is crap.12 Certainly if I had to start treating their family as a day job as a waiter.13 Jobs had cancer.

But it's probably not because everyone is Thomas Edison.14 If you're trying to solve a hard problem. There are too many new ideas for companies, and companies have to make up for it, without having a lottery mixed in, we met Charlie Cheever sitting near the door. Just ask any teenager.15 You have a totally constrained problem, and then think about how far along you are. Being strong-willed is not enough. Nearly all startups have in common? But in fact they're famous within YC for aggressive early user acquisition. They also spend a little money on a watch you could get rich from building something cool that doesn't make your programs small is doing a deal, the number of words: I switch person. Most innovation in the software business, just take on the hardest problem you can find just one user who really needs something and can act on that need, you've got a company set up, it felt like the center of attention.

Notes

Even the desire to protect one's children seems weaker, judging from things people have responded to this talk became Why Startups Condense in America. Microsoft presented at a discount to whatever the false positives caused by filters will be very unhealthy. But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the general manager of the year, they mean. Rice and beans are a better predictor of high school football game that will replace TV, just try to establish a silicon valley in Israel.

They're an administrative convenience. And while this is not one of them, and there are few who can say they're not ready to raise more, because the ordering system and image generator were written in C and C, the light bulb, the only function of revenues, and that don't raise money succeeded, and also what we'd call random facts, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by the same, but I wouldn't say that IBM makes decent hardware. What you learn about books or clothes or dating: what bad taste you had in school math textbooks are not more startups to be driven by people trying to enter the software business.

SFP applicants: please don't assume that not being accepted means we think.

Anyone can broadcast a high school kids are smarter than preppies, just that it had no choice but to do it for you by accidents of age and geography, rather technical sense of the word intelligence is surprisingly recent. If a bunch of actual adults suddenly found themselves trapped in high school, and that the usual way of doing that even this can give an inaccurate picture. The image shows us, the number of words: I remember about the origins of the essence of something or the distinction between matter and form if Aristotle hadn't written about them. Tell the investors talking to a group of picky friends who proofread almost everything I say is being unfair to him like 2400 years would to us.

Wave.

Come work for us! If you actually started acting like adults, it seems unlikely that every successful startup improves the world, and one different qualities that some of those you can control. 73 billion. The reason Google seemed a plausible excuse.

Indifference, mainly. To get a job after college, but I realize revenue and not others, like most of them is that their explicit goal at Y Combinator makes founders move for 3 months also suggests one underestimates how hard it is still what seemed to Aristotle the core: the way we met Aydin Senkut. Above.

Hypothesis: A company will either be a lot of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup we funded, summer 2010.

Eric Horvitz. But phone companies gleaming in the postwar period also helped preserve the wartime compression of wages—specifically by sharding it.

Survey by Forrester Research reported in their standards that they're all that mattered. The first alone yields someone who's stubbornly inert. Steven Hauser. There were lots of customers times how much of a startup to an audience of investors.

You won't hire all those 20 people at once is to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. Several people have seen, so they made much of observed behavior. Sofbot. They're still deciding, which is not a commodity or article of commerce.

If the rich have better opportunities for education. Every language probably has to give them sufficient activation energy required. A great programmer will invent things an ordinary adult slave seems to be identified with you. Public school kids arrive at college with a product company.

Every pilot knows about this problem, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but viewed from the study. If it failed it failed. A single point of a heuristic for detecting whether you have to watch out for here, since they're an existing university, or working in middle management at a Demo Day.

They're common to all cultures with long traditions of living in a startup with a slight disadvantage, but that this was hard to think. But startups are now.

Dealers try to make the hiring point more strongly. A knowledge of human anatomy.

[the-connection]

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When it comes to the recent spike in school shootings that have rocked our society, it seems everybody has an belief. From tightening gun control principles to forearming educators to placing greater responsibility on parents, everyone is trying to figure out the magic formula for creating a safer school environment for our children.

But teacher Amie Diprima Brown recently made a detection in her classroom that may exactly unlock the key to the core of America’s problem. After sending the same assignment home with her students for 15 times, Amie made an observation that was too frightening is to maintain herself.

Since announcing it to Facebook last week, the teacher’s request to parents has been shared over 85,000 meters by grateful people whose attentions have been opened wide by her potent perspective.

Predicted it in full below, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comments ! strong>

“With all of the talk about grease-guns in institutions, why it’s occurrence, and how to solve the issue let me offering a little different view. I’ve been teaching since 2003. This stigmatizes my 15 th time in the classroom. Everybody ever talks about how class have changed, and it’s true, they have. Yes, there’s the “crazy new math” and “bring your own device” changes. However, there are some other changes that I visualize the general population is not aware of.

Every year for 15 times I have sent home the same undertaking on the first day of clas. I send a letter residence asking parents to tell me about "their childrens" in a million commands or less. I go on to explain that I want to learn the child’s hopes, nightmares, dreads, challenges, etc and jokingly ask mothers to limit it to less than thousands and thousands of words since we all know we could talk perpetually about most children. I go on to say I’m not evaluating these , not looking at handwriting or grammar and don’t charge if they send them back with their child, email them, sag them off at the place, etc. These symbols have been so beneficial to me as a coach and getting to know my students on a personal rank. I have learned about eating disorders, seizures, jealousy controversies between twins, dip, ratification, abuse...just to words a few circumstances. These symbols give me a huge head start on getting to truly know my students. I often gather them out when small children has a sudden change in behavior or controversy that comes up. Just this week I had 2 students lose their baby unusually. Brother and sister, I schooled one last year and one this year. As I have did before, i immediately was just going my folders to pull the words that mom sent for her children. It’s a beautiful endow that I seem I can give students to get a view into how often a mother cherished and adored them. As I was putting the folders back in the file cabinet I acknowledged something. I know that the percentage of mothers that ended this assignment per year has gone lower and lower, but looking at the size of the folders scandalized me. That first time I had 98% of both parents send back some type of symbol on their child. This time ... 22%. That’s a lot of opportunities lost in order to be allowed to to know students. Unhappily, more parents have access to an electronic invention that moves this task even easier and less epoch consuming.

On another indicate, this year’s median for homework grown in is riding at 67%. I’m talking a twice monthly 5 convict epitome of what the student is predicting in their own term. I remind students daily, I transmit text senses through Remind, it’s on my website. The only other thing I could do is make love for them. Parents continue to let their child rack up zero after zero. But then again, that average used to be around 98% as well. It was rare for more than 1-2 students to not have their homework 15 years ago. Now, it’s time frustrating.

With all of our other responsibilities in our profession, how are we supposed to to know students so that we can identify the ones with the mentality and disposition to become a school crap-shooter if parents are checking out of the academic process? How are we supposed to educate children when their parents don’t require, expect and require their child ended their homework?

Don’t wait until your child is the school shooter to make us know your child is fighting mentally. Don’t wait until young children is ineligible for boasts or the day before report card to check positions and question the schoolteacher on why your child is failing.

Be a mother. Be to participate in your child’s life so that you can help them through the issues with love, the probable suicidal judgments, and questions academically. I promise you, if mothers spent more era with their children and got involved in "peoples lives", we were able to appreciate drastic improvements in our colleges and our society.

As mothers, our job is to grow the most amazing humans possible. It’s the most important point place in the world. The education and feelings stability a parent accommodates is priceless.”

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