#i think the reason why one works over the other for me is
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connorsui · 2 days ago
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Marked in Metal
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Caleb... loves ... buying you rings.
It wasn’t something you directly questioned—at least, not seriously. He had always been like that, always finding little things to slip into your life as a form of joy. Bracelets, necklaces, little earrings here and there.
But ...rings?
Oh, those were his favorite.
— Princess cut, Briolette, Trilliant, Radiant.
Oval and round. The entire catalog.
And it wasn’t just about the aesthetic. No, it was something else entirely—something unspoken in the way he always lingered just a second longer when slipping the ring onto your finger, something in the way his eyes darkened with quiet satisfaction whenever you lifted your hand, light catching on whatever new piece he had picked out for you.
Like now for instances.
"Here," he said one afternoon, handing you a small velvet box. His voice was casual, but his fingers brushed yours when you took it from him. "Saw this new piece on my way home and thought of you."
You barely glanced up from your work before popping the box open, the soft click of the latch followed by a quiet inhale as you took in the ring nestled inside. A smooth sterling silver band, sleek and polished, with fluted rose gold prongs holding a citrine gem. The cut was extravagant, the kind of thing that should have been reserved for engagement rings, but you had long stopped questioning Caleb’s taste.
"Caleb," you groaned, rolling your eyes but still sliding it onto your finger. It fit perfectly, as they always did. "You have to stop doing this."
"And why should I?" He smirked, leaning back against the couch, arm thrown over the backrest as he watched you admire the ring despite your protests. "Looks good on you."
You twisted your fingers, letting the metal catch the light. He could see it in your face—the way your lips curved slightly, the way your brows relaxed—that moment of pure, genuine appreciation. He memorized that expression every time.
Because no matter how much you insisted it was too much, you never turned them down.
And he never had to worry about you asking how much they cost.
But it wasn’t about the price anyway. It was about the way you wore them, the way your hands danced through the air when you talked, your fingers adorned with pieces he had chosen. It was about the quiet thrill of watching everyone else notice, of knowing that every time someone asked where you got them, your answer was always the same.
"Caleb, obviously. He’s the reason I have half my jewelry box."
That was enough for him.
But this one was different.
"Wait, Caleb?" Your voice broke through his thoughts, amused and lilting. "Did you know this was engraved?"
You held up the ring between your fingers, tilting it just enough for the small inscription inside to catch the light.
.C.
Delicate, subtle, almost invisible unless you were looking for it.
He raised a brow, feigning nonchalance. "Oh? …I don't actually remember seeing that anywhere?”
You narrowed your eyes at him. "You seriously didn't notice?"
"Guess not." He shrugged, and you huffed out a laugh, shaking your head.
"I don’t think I believe you."
He didn’t respond, only watching as you lifted your phone, snapping a picture. Within minutes, your messages flooded with the usual teasing.
"Another one? Does Caleb just collect rings for you now?"
"That’s basically a proposal, babe!"
"Correction. This is the one billionth proposal"
And, as always, your reply was the same.
"Of course it’s Caleb. Who else spoils me like this constantly?"
He loved that. Loved knowing that when others have noticed the rings on your fingers, they knew exactly who put them there.
But even when he adorned your hands, his own ring was different.
It never sat on his finger. It had its own place, strung securely onto the same chain as his tags, resting against his chest beneath the layers of his uniform.
Same material, same weight.
But the chain never left his body. It was there in the dead of night, cold against his skin. There in the thick of the day, clinking softly against metal. It was there when the world was loud and chaotic, when exhaustion pulled at his bones, grounding him with the quiet weight of something real.
Something that brought him back to you.
And when he returned home?
when he was finally home, the chain came off—but the ring never stayed in some forgotten drawer.
No, it belonged in the same place it always did.
Right where you were—pressed close against his heart.
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multific · 3 days ago
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Of Dog Tags and Love Letters
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Simon Riley x Reader
Summary: Simon Riley never says “I love you” out loud. Instead, he writes letters, letters you were never meant to find.
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Simon wasn’t the kind of man who said “I love you” easily.
He showed it instead.
He showed it in the way he pulled you close at night, in the way his hand always rested on the small of your back in public, in the way he made sure you always walked on the safer inside of the sidewalk.
His love wasn’t loud or obvious, but it was steady, always there.
Still, you wanted to hear it.
Just once.
Just once you wanted to hear him say it.
Simon had been gone on a mission for a few weeks.
You missed him, missed the way the house felt different when he was home.
Tonight, the quiet felt heavier than usual.
That’s what led you to the room, sitting on the bed, fidgeting with his dog tags.
That’s when you found them.
A small metal box, tucked away beneath an old shirt. You were trying to find a shirt which still smelled like him.
Inside the box, there were letters.
Dozens of them, all folded neatly, your name written on each one.
Your stomach flipped as you picked one up, your fingers shaking slightly as you unfolded the paper.
The handwriting was rough and rushed.
But it was undeniably his.
If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t make it back.
Your breathing stopped, but you kept reading.
I don’t say things the way I should. Never have. But you should know… you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the reason I want to come back in one piece. If I don’t... just know that I love you. Always have, always will.
Your chest ached as you grabbed another letter.
It was the same.
So was the next.
You looked at the dates. Every letter is written before a mission.
Every single one, carrying the words he never said to your face.
I love you.
All of them, filled with meaning and care. All of them are written from the heart.
You pressed them to your chest, blinking back tears.
Three days later, he was home.
The second he walked through the door, you didn’t wait. You crashed into him, arms wrapped tight around his middle.
He let out a small grunt of surprise. “What’s all this then?”
“You’re an idiot,” you mumbled into his shoulder.
He huffed a quiet laugh, arms circling around you. “Good to see you too, Love.”
You pulled back, searching his tired eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Simon’s body tensed. “Tell you what?”
You lifted your chin. “About the letters.”
His whole body went still.
“…You found them.” His voice was quiet.
You nodded. “Yeah. And I had to find out from some scraps of paper that you truly love me?”
His jaw flexed like he was bracing for something. “I didn’t think I’d ever—” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s not easy for me.”
“I don’t care if it’s easy,” you shot back, stepping closer to him. “Do you think this is easy for me? Waiting? Wondering if you’ll come home?” Your voice cracked. “Wondering if I’ll ever get to tell you—”
You stopped yourself, swallowing hard.
Simon’s eyes softened. “Tell me what?”
You exhaled. “That I love you too, you idiot.”
His breath hitched.
Then, before you could say anything else, he cupped your face in his hands, pressing his forehead to yours. His touch was warm, and grounding.
“Say it again,” he whispered, begged.
A smile tugged at your lips. You rested your hands on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. “I love you.”
His eyes closed, and he let out a slow breath like he was letting himself believe it. When he spoke again, his voice was deep, barely above a whisper.
“I love you too.”
And this time, he didn’t need a letter to say it.
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~Masterlist~
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/DO NOT TRANSLATE, STEAL OR REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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seewetter · 2 days ago
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"ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!!"
The whole framing is wrong.
Why are people talking about "stupid" Americans? Because they're discussing why America so often is plagued by decisions with foresee-ably terrible outcomes.
But America is an oligarchy, it's participatory elements are minimal and often pure aesthetic. How much control do people exercise in a first-past-the-post electoral system with massive corporate bribes (Superpacs) that also influence media reporting, which is also a surveillance and police state?
Rhetorical question, right? So if Americans barely exercise control, what are we criticizing? Are we criticizing the >70% of Americans who don't even own a firearm? Or the majority of Texans that vote Democrat...even though it's a "red state" due to how their laws work? Are we criticizing the American majority that shows sympathies for Bernie Sanders, support abortion, queer rights, trans rights, realizes climate change is real and is the reason why "woke" (diverse) Hollywood movies make such money?
Why criticize Americans for watching Marvel, when Marvel viewership numbers have collapsed over the years?
Why criticize Americans for not knowing who James Baldwin is, when James Baldwin is in many ways not someone who affected the course of history or someone who Americans -- who I am CERTAIN use the public library all the time -- would necessarily stumble upon when reading in a public library. What, did you learn about Baldwin from watching Nosferatu? Or maybe a Cronenberg movie? Would Americans borrowing books on history naturally stumble on Baldwin? If they borrow the collected speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. or the Autobiography of Malcolm X, will these reference James Baldwin?
People know who James Baldwin is because he is an excellent writer and certain white Jewish intellectuals in the 1970s stumbled across his prose and made him famous and later Baldwin would burn those ties and became famous within progressive activist circles. This does not mean that a visit to a public library will make people aware that he exists. You have to know what to look for.
Also progressives often know who he is but not what he said. How many progressives do you know who don't care that James Baldwin talked about the "myth of race", that James Baldwin considered post-racial thinking to be more progressive than identity politics? Most progessives who know Baldwin quote him second-hand or third-hand, why are you not mad at them? Why some nebulous idea of "Americans"?
"because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!!"
In 19th century anarchist literature, a distinction was often made between the freedom to do something and the capacity to do something. The freedom and legal right to buy a yacht is nice...but if you can't actually buy a yacht, you have the freedom but not the capacity.
Like how many holidays and free weekends does the average American have? There has to be a better way to educate people with a busy schedule than shaming them about their ignorance, especially when ignorance is tied to class. DON'T misread me. I'm not saying working class people are ignorant. I'm saying some people can afford a very nice education for their kids and other people can't. "Oh, it's on the internet, which is free" is not how people spontaneously become enlightened.
Like: just have a chat with a Joe Rogan listener. They're mostly Trump supporters, but all of the ones I've met are achingly sincere. They really do have the wool over their eyes, they're usually not malicious. And they're really really ...like they don't have a good research strategy. They don't even know what that looks like. They think they're "studying" when they listen to podcasts. That's a thing they think. Do you think free access to libraries and internet has given these people all they need to free themselves from their shackles and the risks they pose to others? Do you think people just spontaneously sit down and every week for a year devote all available time to researching academic literature on a hot button topic? Many of these people don't even know where to find appropriate academic literature ("It's too expensive" thought one Rogan listener I know) and many of them associate these resources with academic agendas.
Look up "hermeneutics of suspicion". It's when people approach a topic looking for ways to confirm their suspicious feelings. That's what's going on there. People read some academic article and they suspect it's all BS. If they don't understand a concept, they assume someone is trying to manipulate them. And why shouldn't they, the media is blatantly dishonest, academia has a number of crises and universities have certain conflicts of interest. Why shouldn't these people spontaneously start from such a place? It's not your job to shame them, because if you do, they assume you are doing so from a place of ideological fanaticism, rather than from a place of informed frustration. You know the meme where trans people talking about gender is represented as Plato and Aristotle in the agora, having a debate, while trans people talking to cis people about gender is represented as a mom helping her toddler assemble building blocks? That analogy applies to any topic. There are a lot of adult "toddlers" out there and if you call them toddlers to their face, they will rightfully be ashamed and upset. They put a lot of work into forming their beliefs, they just don't have a good starting point. Or decent tools. Or non-judgmental 24/7 help. And they exist in a quagmire of bullshit claims. And they relate to misinformation in a vibes-based way if the information otherwise seems to be applicable and more useful in their life.
If someone lives in a media environment that reassures them that they are currently studying the (alternate) facts and informing themselves, or that they are currently getting the gist of the facts from experts, then people won't necessarily use the library or grasp its value. Also you have to use the library correctly.
"and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like."
I find teens accusing every intellectual impulse of being classist and ableist unbearable too, but not so long ago, this website popularized the idea that the only valid criticism of feminism was an anti-racist, anti-classist, anti-ableist, anti-transmisogynist, anti-perisexist etc. criticism.
In other words "I refuse to course correct unless you show me how my current course hurts a minority."
So yes, people will defend American complacency using ridiculous "anti-classist" rhetoric. Because it's the only defense they've seen modelled and maybe even the only defense that's socially permitted in their circle of friends.
Defenses of war crimes are horrible. Period. If people think Americans don't have a partial responsibility just because they were ignorant, they're wrong. But partial responsibility isn't full blame and more importantly: are real Tumblr users actually saying that exact thing in good faith? Are people out there defending ignorant Americans who never talked to a soldiers about what a bomb is and does or who never watched a bomb dropped in a movie?
I agree Disney adults can be irritating, but I think that most Americans aren't Disney adults and those that are... are from all walks of life and varying degrees of ignorance. Are Disney adults, Marvel fans, the ones who don't grasp that bombs kill people? Or is this a weird mishmash of stereotypes that don't capture why America, as a state institution, is such a horror? To me it's also sad that Americans get overly emotional about Mickey Mouse and that Marvel movies got so successful, but I think this is not really connected to America. Marvel movies and Disney parks aren't uniquely American, America is just -- at gunpoint -- the largest economy in the world, so a lot of junk that people worldwide consume comes from there. Disney Parks in Japan or France do quite well and also involve Disney Adults, we just don't hear about them so much and the money is ultimately made by America, a country with military bases in almost every other country. Is this the fault of Disney Adults in Orlando, Florida? I don't think so.
Also makeup is an "unfeminist choice", but feminists should, in fact, fight for people's freedom to make unfeminist choices. Kate Harding had an entire essay on that.
As for the reply:
When trying to convince someone that their reasons for believing something are faulty, always make sure to point out what they may have missed and try not to miss anything yourself.
Let me provide a few examples:
"Did you know that to get to a library here, you have to travel?"
The person you are responding to wrote (and you acknowledged it with "I'm glad you found a way to access our libraries") that to read the contents of a library, all that is needed is digital access.
So then "did you know you have to travel" doesn't make sense as the next sentence. It's on its face unconvincing.
"Since you know so much about us, you must know that our public transportation system is all but non-functional, and a lot of people can't even afford bus fare, let alone their own vehicle, and most of our cities are not walkable. The closest library in the town where my half-siblings grew up was a 30-minute drive away. But there are digital libraries, of course!"
Of course! And their existence invalidates all the detailed descriptions you just provided for the inaccessibility of American libraries. Americans that don't use the libraries don't use them because (A) they forget these exist (B) they don't want to use them (sometimes out of shame, sometimes out of misguided conviction).
"Did you know that not every single one of us stupid Americans has access to a home computer and internet?"
The OP you are responding to was concrete about being frustrated by kids (18 19 20 year olds) on Tumblr. If they're on Tumblr, they must have internet and must be able to access an internet library.
"Did you know that exceptionally strict conservative parents monitor their childrens' internet usage and restrict what they can see?"
Yes and.
Yes, and this influences blindspots that some Americans have.
See, on its own "do you know some parents monitor internet" creates a strawman example, where the people OP was attacking (people who freely use tumblr.com, "the queerest site on the internet") are somehow being treated as if they have parents that monitor their internet usage and censor all content that might burst their conservative bubble. I hope we can agree that these are two different groups of Americans.
"Did you know that school library media centers (computer labs) restrict access to a lot of websites and information that do not pertain to curriculum? Of course you did."
But if the people are goofing around on Tumblr calling others "classist" for expecting them to know stuff, how is the computer lab not restricting their Tumblr access? How does Tumblr pertain to their curriculum?
It's possible that this is a censorship oversight or something, but again, the real counterargument against OPs nonsense isn't "Americans aren't free to know new information" and rather "Americans often lack the capacity to even know what they're looking for". I don't think OP name-dropping James Baldwin and stocks will have given people any real idea of what they need to look for, especially if they need comprehensive education on everything from ecology to statecraft and civics to economics, to history, geography, moral philosophy, epistemology, foreign policy, marginalized perspectives and activism, statistics, organizing, protesting safety, IT security and data protection, narrative structure, narrative experimentation, artistic craft, avant-garde sensibilities (I'm being entirely unironic about that.), reading comprehension, project management, culinary skill, survival skills, networking skills, the list goes on.
This also isn't merely an "American" problem. I know plenty of Australians, Kiwis, Canadians, Europeans who use gmail accounts, don't understand imperialism and need a crash course in epistemology every time a hot button issue comes into discussion because they just keep shouting at each other without treating the other party as a human being with their own heuristic for gathering, evaluating and processing information.
"Did you know that lobbyists are trying very hard to defund and even actively shut down our libraries. Partially because they don't want us to have access to free recources, but also because ignorance works in their favor? Did you know book bans are being placed in libraries across the country, based on what conservatives deem inappropriate?"
Most of those points seem a little off topic (lobbyists trying to defund libraries may affect future ignorance but doesn't account for ignorance today), but I grant that the book bans really might have some kind of impact that prevents people from having heard of James Baldwin. It's a decent reply to the OP, who seems to think all libraries serve up the same information to all Americans. But you should be fair enough to recognize that it still is a bit weird when the people who show up ignorant are ...Tumblr users smart enough to be making accusations of classism.
"Since you know all about how we are educated, you must know that American curriculum is designed to discourage curiosity and create the illusion that we are far and above all other nations and that everything we are taught in our classes about others is simply all there is to know."
What I've heard is that many public school teachers in America are extremely dedicated well-meaning people. I've met a few American teachers and their German counterparts, for example, earn about 20 times what they earn. So American teachers often really are in it to help kids learn.
I'm not sure that the American curriculum really exists to "discourage curiosity", that sounds a bit weird to me. I do know the Texas board of education tried to ban critical thinking and I know American schools have some weird national anthem singing and I bet they teach American exceptionalism. But I would say perhaps the only reason any of that sticks is because Americans often can't afford to visit other countries.
I have not heard that Americans learn that school teaches them all there is to know, but when I think of ignorant Americans, they often give me the opposite impression: that of a "do your own research type" who doesn't think "I know everything from school" and instead just never bothered to buy a book about Atmospheric Phenomena (or grab a illegal free .pdf copy) and therefore thinks some glittering orb in the sky is a alien spacecraft. Genuinely, ignorant people are often really nice people who try to learn about the world, have a real desire to learn new things... and then they watch Graham Hancock or some other well-designed nonsense and they mis-educate themselves and get very defensive if anyone tries to correct them, however gently, in part because they lack even the basic skills to know whether the correction is plausible.
"So, with all of this information that you clearly already had at your disposal, do you genuinely believe these children are cognizant or at all concerned with how much they know about other countries and cultures?"
I think the better question to ask is "Do you really think only Americans would fail at "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?""
Because let's face it, I've seen European versions of that premise, where they go out into the street, ask a basic question ("What's the equator?") and get embarrassing answers ("A line that floats in the sky above the center of our planet").
OPs gripe with "Americans" is that they know other countries exist but just don't care. But hey, are Europeans that much better? In Europe, people know European countries...because countries are small and these are almost like American "states" in a way, especially since the EU is in many ways a country in all but name (and lack of military). How many Europeans know how many African countries there are, what their names are, what their capitals are, what their history is, what colonial powers kept which country under control when and for how long? How many Europeans know anything about Laos or Cambodia? Do Europeans even know which continent Cambodia is on?
And I've talked to Japanese people and found incredible ignorance. And do we imagine that the education system in, say, Burkina Faso or Brazil produces much more worldly individuals?
If you want to criticize specifically American ignorance you need to things: you need lots of real-life examples AND you need to prove these examples are unique to America.
Like India recently managed to get a lot of kids into school long enough to learn how to read, which is awesome! But if someone from India (like OP) is attacking American ignorance, OP is likely doing so from a certain degree of "wealth in the family". That's not a criticism, just a (hopefully humbling) observation. Countries around the world can blame their widespread ignorance on colonialism...and then get upset at ignorant colonizers. But maybe no place on Earth really produces a completely sufficiently informed citizenship.
"Adults who are groomed through adulthood to believe that "bombing foreign countries" and selling their body to their government is one of the only accessible options to receive further education."
Isn't the American military facing historically low recruitment numbers and worried about morphing into a "warrior caste" (their words, not mine) because their recruits mostly come from old military families where everyone's in the military? Not to say the poor person going to the army doesn't exist, but aren't most Americans pretty anti-military, especially these days?
"You believe these people are simply bumbling idiots too self-absorbed to want to learn about the history and inner workings of every other nation around them?"
Why emphasize that public schools brainwash the kids with American exceptionalism and then turn around to argue that the people leaving public school AREN'T self-absorbed about their own country? That comes off as overly defensive, not as a reflective response. I doubt OP found that argument very convincing.
"Like, you understand that not knowing what you don't know is a thing, yes?"
But OP must at least be partially correct. Like -- I would blame maybe feelings of overwhelm at all the information, and maybe mistrust of information sources -- but it does often come across, at least at first glance, that a lot of Americans can't be bothered to understand basic geography. Like they know countries outside of America exist, but aren't bothered enough to find out what they are.
Again, this is probably not a purely American problem, but one does sometimes get the impression that many Americans approach conversations without making sure they have a bit of an overview of the topic. They often just seem to research the talking points of their side in a debate (i.e. they know the history of colonialism better than they know which countries have Spanish as an official language, so it's easy to make them look stupid or they have to ask what tariffs are but they already think tariffs are great since Trump is doing them...like why aren't they reading the "tariffs" page on Wikipedia or whatever, to get at least a general idea? What's going on?)
"I would go as far as to point out the hypocrisy of all of your shaming when the beginning of your post clearly states that you were ignorant of a resource available to you before it was pointed out to you."
Now that's a sick burn. But don't get cozy.
"Your time spent belligerently accusing a whole society of people which you deem unintelligent of being willfully uneducated and unwilling to reach beyond their own privilege would be better spent sharing resources you've found and encouraging others to broaden their own horizons. But hatred of the American public as a whole is a lot easier when you can paint us all as intentionally dumb and heels-dug-in fascists."
It is hard for people to grasp how little control Americans have over their society. When America always advertises itself as "land of the free" it seems like they freely choose to be giant assholes on the world stage.
And it's only with a lot of reflection and/or research that people realize just how much the game is rigged. But still...the people who just flat out support tariffs, for example, without wasting a single braincell on experimenting on how they can find information on it that doesn't come from a possibly biased pro-Trump source...like it feels like willful ignorance. Part of me can't believe it isn't.
ever since i got access to american library cards thanks to tumblr user anneemay (pbuh) 2 weeks ago ive lost even the 3% sympathy i had for americans crying ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!! because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!! from my home in India I’ve listened to eight audiobooks and watched half of cronenberg’s oevre and I’m watching nosferatu (1922) today and I can’t even go to a library in person and you people have had these things your entire life yet you come on tumblr at 18 19 20 and say you don’t know who james baldwin is and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like. my god. you people are going to go through the rest of your life being incoherently stupid and it’s not because you’re poor and it’s not because your schools suck but its because you’re so ensconced in your American privilege that you will never be forced to confront the realities of life and you can go on living your Disney adult fantasies because you’ve destroyed your innate human curiosity and potential at the altar of hyper consumption.
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micahulrichdraws · 2 days ago
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I come in peace! I don’t wanna try to convince you to take commissions! But I am curious about why you’re so strongly against them, did you have a bad experience working on one? Anyway, love your stuff, your tarot designs go so hard
Thanks for the love!! The reason isn't a bad experience or some such, it's 19 years of being a professional artist and knowing the field!
TLDR: I'm a traditional pen and ink illustrator, so it's not financially viable or creatively fulfilling.
I'm always down to talk art business, so here's a brief breakdown wall of text:
On the financial side, commission designs are almost always done at a net loss/break even for the artist, and I'm no exception. They're alright for starting out, or if you're looking to incorporate them into your marketing (IE: doing a poster design for a band to gain exposure), but typically they're roughly half the cash-per-hour for any established artist VS making an original design, and creating a print run of it.
Example: while tons of folks would look at someone charging $1k USD for a commission and think that it would be crazy cash, once you break down the math, it's pretty bad. An average design for me takes on average 30-40 hours, and that's because I don't have to communicate with anyone else. I'm just drawin' my idea. Assuming this is a dream client who has the mind-meld with me, wire transfers the $1k straight into my bank account the second it's done, that's roughly $25/hr. Once again - this looks *great*, that's around $50k/yr from drawing custom stuff! But that's not how it works. First of all, most folks would lose their *minds* at paying $1k for a commission - over the years I graphed it out, and back when I was a less-established artist, most folks would start with a budget of $100, have their limits pushed at $300, and outright refuse $500. You have to sift through all of those folks in order to get that reasonable commission. That includes folks who aren't willing to commit to a commission, don't want to say no to the price, but will still take up your time. Roughly, for me at least, 10 hours a week of it. You'll also have to run collections on roughly 20% of your customers - they may pay the deposit, but you'll have to chase them for the final payment. Even if you take the payment *in advance* you'll end up having to chase them down/get ghosted. So, realistically: you end up taking the $500, for *at least* 50 hours of work. On average, it clocked in closer to 65-70. $7.14 an hour. That's less than a third living wage and less than minimum wage. You cannot grow an art practice while actively starving. It's easier to make a design, sell it/license it/etc. to make more cash without losing your mind.
That said - After 2020, I reached a point in my career that when I take on custom work, it's typically from a larger brand with a larger scope and larger budget, ranging anywhere from $5k-$30k. That said - these businesses are typically ones that understand the industry and are far less of a headache to work with than individuals, and will give several months worth of work at a time at a living wage.
On the creative side, I enjoy making my own designs and work as opposed to other folks. I have a ton of drawings and projects I'd rather work on and share with folks of my own that are infinitely more fun than the 200th identical commission request (a biblically accurate angel that also is the grim reaper that is also Baldur's Gate 3 thirstraps/Dark Souls fan art/primarchs because Y'ALL AIN'T CREATIVE BUT MY ASTARION X SANGUINIUS SHIP CAME FIRST.) Also, most of the fun of my career is knowing as many folks as possible get to enjoy my art junk. I'd rather go through a few extra hoops and have thousands of folks see my stuff vs something only one other person gets to see.
If you made it this far, congrats, here is my favorite image I have saved in my camera roll:
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heartsriki · 3 days ago
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ALWAYS YOURS, NEVER MINE ⌇늦은
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pairing ᝰ jungwon x fem!reader (?) — featuring.. riki & jay word count: 3k+
⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ pt. 2, angst, high-school au!, gut-wrenching angst like trust, love triangle, crying, lots of selfishness coming from won, hurt no comfort..., one-sided love.
synopsis — why did jungwon hide rikis love letter to you? (PLEASE READ PART 1)
lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊there were a lot of questions/asks for explanations from pt. 1 so here it is! guys lowkey started tearing up I'm so sorry jungwon biases... I couldn't help myself again...
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5 months before…
Today was Jungwon’s worst day possible. He hadn’t done as well as he wanted on an important test—not a failing grade, but not perfect either. On top of that, he left his stuff somewhere and couldn’t remember where.
Usually, he was calm, cool, and collected, but right now, he felt helpless. Resting his head on his desk, he let the frustration settle in, feeling like he was slowly being submerged in water—until he felt a slight tug on his hair.
Slowly, he lifted his head, only to see you, your hand still hovering above him. You flinched at his movement, clearly not expecting him to be awake.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I thought you were asleep, and your hair just looked so fluffy—” you blurted, your words tumbling over each other.
Jungwon just stared at you, silent.
You took his lack of response as a reason to keep going. “Anyway���I found this bag and recognized the name. Here you go!” You slung it over the back of his chair, grinning.
He glanced at the bag before looking back at you. You knew him? He didn’t know you.
The silence stretched, and you hummed, shifting awkwardly. He still hadn’t said thank you. You were about to excuse yourself when you caught a glimpse of the paper under his arms.
“Hey, a 75? That’s great! Man, I barely got a 65—you’re so smart. You wanna study sometime?”
Jungwon opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, the classroom door swung open.
“Y/N! We need you in the student council room—the boys are fighting again!”
You groaned, dragging your hands down your face. Without another word, you gave him a small wave, flashing a pretty smile before running off.
Jungwon raised his head, staring at the spot you had just been. “A 75 isn’t even good,” he murmured, resting his head back down. “What a weirdo.”
Yet, despite himself, he kept thinking back to that moment. He wouldn’t admit it, but it brought him a strange sense of comfort. He also didn’t even want to imagine what would’ve happened if he had really lost his stuff.
Days passed, and while he didn’t speak to you much, he saw you everywhere. Then, one day, as he strolled through the library, he spotted you working at the front desk.
He lingered behind a shelf, watching as you glanced around before sneaking to the back of the library.
Curiosity got the better of him. He followed.
Turning the corner, he caught you opening a small box, slipping a piece of paper inside. When you turned around, both of you flinched.
“Jungwon? What are you doing here?”
He crossed his arms. “What are you doing here? What’s in the box?”
Quickly, you stretched your arms out, blocking him. “It’s nothing.”
Jungwon smirked, trying to peek past you. “If it’s nothing, let me see.”
Before you could stop him, he had already snatched up the paper. You groaned, covering your face as he read it.
“You were embarrassed over cussing someone out for wearing the same headband as you on picture day?” His grin widened, amusement dancing in his eyes.
“I talked about wearing that headband for weeks…” you mumbled, looking away.
For a moment, he stayed silent. And then���he burst out laughing. Full, unrestrained laughter—the kind he hadn’t had in ages.
From that day on, he stayed by your side.
Jungwon was well-known around school. Girls found him handsome, even flirted with him, guys thought he was pretty damn good at sports and cool to hang out with. But because of that pedestal, few ever approached him as a true friend.
You didn’t seem to care about all that.
Instead of just waving at him in the hallway, you ran up to him to rant about your day. Instead of borrowing a pencil and ignoring him for the rest of class, you swapped desk numbers just to sit beside him. Instead of leaving him alone when he shut down, you stayed. Always.
You became his best friend. And he was yours. Thats all he ever needed.
That’s what he told himself, anyway.
February rolled around—the month of love. The halls were littered with Valentine’s posters, the air buzzing with excitement.
Jungwon didn’t think much of it. Maybe he’d just hang out with you that day.
But when he sat down next to you in class, you were grinning at your phone, giggling.
He smiled. “What’s got you so giddy today, huh?”
You turned your screen toward him. “I got Riki’s contact today… look!”
Jungwon’s smile faltered. He glanced at the name on your screen. Ah. Right.
He forgot about your tiny crush on Riki.
Nodding, he turned to the window, pretending it didn’t bother him. But the dull thump in his chest told him otherwise. I guess you’ll be busy that day. How lame.
Later that day, he was on the soccer field when his phone vibrated. Seeing your name, he grinned stupidly and opened the message.
You:
JUNGWONJUNGWONOMG
PLSPLSANSWERLOOKATURPHONE
Wonnie:
Ok what the hell
What is it?
You:
You are NEVER going to believe who just slid into the back of the library.
Wonnie:
Is it Jake again? Poor guy
Maybe Jay? Idk tell me
You:
Nishimura… Riki…
Jungwon stared at the screen.
Riki? Well. It was about time. He had been into you without a doubt.
Scoffing, Jungwon typed back.
Wonnie:
… Fr?
Maybe he confessed to you?
You:
Right, totally.
Jungwon frowned. You could be so oblivious sometimes. To more than one person.
Wonnie:
Think about it.
Setting his phone down, he exhaled sharply. He had a weird urge to see you. Maybe you wanted to talk about it.
He sighed, packing up his things and heading toward the library.
As he neared the back entrance, he spotted Riki slipping out. Their eyes met for a second, but neither spoke.
There was something in that look. Knowing.
Jungwon clenched his jaw and walked past him, slipping inside unnoticed.
Then, his eyes landed on the box.
For a split second, he hesitated. Then, without thinking, he stepped forward.
Glancing around, he reached inside. There were a lot of letters. But he found Riki’s almost immediately—a pink envelope decorated with tiny white hearts, his name written neatly on the front which was uncommon for love letters being left vulnerable in a box.
Jungwon stared at it. “What an idiot.”
Without thinking, he plucked it from the box, turning it over in his hands before slowly opening it.
Inside, a note.
Hey, I don’t really know how to start this. Okay, so… I think you’re really annoying. But for some reason, I like how annoying you are. You’re incredibly nosy, but I don’t mind when you peck at my life. I don’t know when I started to feel this way, but I know how I feel now. I like you. A lot. Too much, actually. If you feel the same, then… I don’t know. You’ll know what to do. You always do. — N.R.
Jungwon exhaled, rubbing his temples.
If you knew about this, you’d be over the moon.
And yet—before he could stop himself—he shoved the letter into his bag.
Why?
He convinced himself it was to toy with you. Something deeper inside knew other wise.
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When Jungwon saw you through the student council door, scanning through all the love letters, he felt a soft pang in his chest. You were looking for Riki’s… he knew it.
When he entered, he played it off—laughing, smiling—knowing he had the one thing you had been waiting for this entire year. But when the opportunity came to fess up, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
When Riki stepped in, both Jungwon and Riki locked eyes. It didn’t even last a second, but the way he looked at him… he knew. He definitely knew that Jungwon had grabbed the letter.
Jungwon excused himself, whispering, “Good luck,” into Riki’s ear. A small part of him meant it. It was more for you.
He walked slowly to the locker room, overthinking about you and Riki. Overthinking about you and himself. What is this? It hurt. It hurt so much.
He was caught off guard by a hand on his shoulder. It was Jay, another friend of his.
“Hey man, where’s your girlfriend?” Jay asked with a knowing grin.
Jungwon blinked, still walking toward the locker room. “Girlfriend? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jay sighed, glancing around before looking back at him. “Don’t play dumb. You know I’m talking about Y/N. Did you confess yet?”
Jungwon stopped, causing Jay to stumble a little. Jay looked at him, puzzled.
Confess. Did he like you? Is that what this is?
That’s what he thought about for the rest of the day.
He liked you.
He liked you.
He liked you. You. You. You.
He fumbled on the field, spaced out during conversations, and excused himself from after-practice hangouts.
When he got home, he immediately went to his room, throwing himself onto his bed and sighing at the ceiling. The moment of peace was interrupted by a vibration in his right hand. He brought his phone up to his face and saw your contact. You always called him after his practice.
He answered, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey.”
“AHHHHHHH, Wonnie! You won’t believe it! He likes me back! Isn’t that crazy? For some reason, his love letter went missing—some weirdo took it. But he confessed to me!” you squealed from the other line.
He smiled a little at your happiness, ignoring the heaviness in his chest. “That’s great Y/N… You guys dating now?”
“Actually, we’re taking things slow. He blabbed about needing to take care of something first.”
That made Jungwon sit up. “Take care of something?” he asked.
“Yeah. No clue, but it doesn’t bother me. I’ve been waiting long enough—I can wait a little bit more.” You smiled to yourself.
Jungwon thought. Riki didn’t need to take care of something. He needed to take care of someone.
“I’m sure it’ll happen soon,” Jungwon said, trying to sound reassuring.
You sighed at his words. “Thanks, I feel like the happiest girl in the world.”
Jungwon didn’t respond to that. “I’m pretty tired from practice. Talk to you later?”
“Oh! I’m so sorry, Wonnie! Of course—sleep well, alright?”
“…You too.”
And with that, he hung up.
Jungwon stared at his phone, the call screen fading to black as the weight in his chest settled in. His fingers curled around the device, gripping it tighter than necessary.
He likes me back!
Your words replayed in his head over and over, each time pressing harder against the part of him that had only just realized the truth.
He liked you.
And now, he was too late.
Jungwon exhaled sharply, tossing his phone onto his bed before running a hand down his face. The ceiling blurred in his vision as he lay back down, feeling—what was this? Emptiness? Regret?
He wanted to be happy for you. He was happy for you. You were his best friend. That’s what best friends did. They supported each other, no matter what.
But then why did it feel like his heart was being squeezed in a way that left him breathless?
Riki still hadn’t officially asked you out. That was something, right? But Jungwon knew it wasn’t for the reason you thought.
He needed to take care of someone.
Jungwon scoffed to himself, letting his arm drape over his eyes.
Riki knew. He definitely knew.
And now, Jungwon had a choice to make.
Does he let this be? Pretend his feelings didn’t exist, swallow them whole, and stand by your side like he always had?
Or does he do something about it?
His fingers twitched at the thought, but deep down, he already knew his answer.
Jungwon had never been the type to back down from a challenge. But this—this wasn’t some game. This wasn’t a competition he could win just by trying harder, running faster, pushing himself more.
This was you.
And if anyone deserved to be happy, it was you.
Even if it wasn’t with him.
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“Pass it!” Jungwon yelled across the field.
He had been practicing all morning, through breaks, and even during lunch. Soccer was his escape—the only thing that drowned out the noise in his head.
But that peace was shattered when he spotted a figure standing by the benches near his stuff.
Riki.
He stood there, arms crossed, gaze steady. His expression was unreadable, but Jungwon knew exactly why he was here.
Jungwon hesitated for only a second before calling for a break. With a deep sigh, he jogged over, wiping sweat from his forehead before sitting down on the bench. He didn’t look at Riki, just grabbed his water bottle and took a sip.
Riki sat beside him, wasting no time.
“Do you know what happened to my letter?”
Jungwon glanced at him from the corner of his eye, then turned his gaze back to the field. “Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?” His voice was flat, expression unreadable.
Riki exhaled through his nose, nodding slightly as if he expected that response. “Why?”
Jungwon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You know the answer to that too.”
Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. The distant shouts of players and the sound of cleats against the field felt worlds away.
Finally, Jungwon sat up, patting his thigh before standing. “Is that it? I’m pretty busy.” He nodded toward the field, crossing his arms.
Riki stood too, this time meeting Jungwon’s gaze head-on. His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it.
“However you feel, take it out on me. Not her, she cares for you.”
Jungwon clenched his jaw.
Riki let the words linger before turning on his heel and walking away.
Jungwon watched him go, fingers tightening around his water bottle. His chest felt heavy, like something was pressing down on it, suffocating him.
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply before kicking the bench. It barely moved, but it was enough to make his frustration bubble over.
Why did Riki have to say it like that? Like he was some selfish idiot who didn’t already know that? Like he didn’t already hate himself for it?
With a forced breath, he shook his head, pushing everything down, just like he always did. He had a game to focus on.
Without another glance at the benches, he jogged back onto the field, forcing himself to get lost in the only thing that still made sense.
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A week after that encounter with Riki, Jungwon found himself in your room. He was doing homework while you sat beside him, pouting at your phone. He glanced at you and smiled.
“What are you grumbling about?” he asked.
You sighed, putting your phone down and continuing with your work. “It’s nothing…”
Jungwon raised a brow. He had never seen you this down before. “What? Tell me. You always tell me what’s wrong,” he pushed.
Pouting, you looked at him with puppy eyes. “It’s Riki… It’s been about a week, and I haven’t seen him or heard from him. Do you think he ghosted me?”
Jungwon stiffened. He had overheard from some guys that Riki had gotten into serious trouble with his parents and now had to work overtime at his part-time job. He sighed, looking at you. You were so obviously heartbroken. Should he tell you?
Or should he be selfish?
This was his chance. He could win you over. He could show you that he was here. That he would always be here.
He gulped, staring back down at his work. He was selfish—just for a moment. But then, he heard a broken sniffle come from you. His eyes snapped to you, watching as you tried to dry your tears, a fake smile on your face as if pretending everything was okay.
His heart dropped. Did Riki really mean that much to you?
Jungwon quickly moved next to you, guiding you to rest your head on his lap. Your cries softened as he gently patted your head, just like he always did.
He looked down at you—your eyes shut, your breathing slowing, the tension in your body fading. And then, softly, he spoke:
“I overheard that he got into some pretty big trouble and is working overtime at his job. He probably didn’t want to trouble you with that stupid mentality of his.”
Your eyes shot open. You turned your head, looking up at him. “Really?”
He nodded. “Really.”
In an instant, you shot up, grabbing your jacket and shoes. “Gosh, that jerk. Where does he work? I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. Text me the address?” you said, pacing around the room.
Jungwon watched you, unable to find the right words. He wanted to stop you.
Before you could rush out the door, he stood up and grabbed your wrist. You looked up at him, confused. “Wonnie? What is it?”
“I—uhm.”
This was it. He should tell you now. If he didn’t, it would kill him. But as he looked at you—eager, desperate to see Riki—he exhaled and let go.
“Take your umbrella. It’s raining.”
You smiled, running past him to grab it. “Thanks! Leave whenever you want! And don’t forget to take some leftovers home!”
And just like that, you were gone.
Jungwon stood frozen, staring at the empty space you had just occupied. Slowly, his eyes wandered around your room.
The walls covered in posters. The notebooks scattered on your desk. The lingering scent of your perfume.
It was all so familiar.
His mind filled with memories—the time you both got front-row tickets to your favorite band and shouted while holding hands, the nights he stayed up to bring you food when you were sick, the first time you hugged him while crying into his chest.
And yet, despite all those moments, despite everything he had done for you… he never came to terms with his feelings.
A tear slid down his cheek before he even realized it. He wiped at it absently, staring at his damp fingers in disbelief.
Then, without warning, the tears came faster.
He sucked in a shaky breath, trying to stop them, but his chest tightened, and his knees buckled beneath him. He collapsed onto the floor, hands gripping the fabric of his pants as silent sobs racked his body.
It was too much.
The love he had buried.
The longing he had ignored.
The pain of watching you run to someone else.
He had lost you.
And the worst part?
You were never his to begin with.
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wqnwoos · 2 days ago
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cw — alcohol mentions, reader wears makeup
you’re drunk and you’re annoyed, which is never a good combination, because it makes it that much harder for jeonghan to take you home. 
more specifically, you’re annoyed with him, which you’d told him through slightly slurred words and a finger to his chest the moment you saw him at seungcheol’s birthday party.
(“i’m really pissed,” you’d announced, and clarified, “at you. yoon jeonghan.” and then had returned to the party like you didn’t just make his heart sink to his stomach.)
jeonghan can think of two reasons why you’d be annoyed at him. one — you’ve worked out that he was the one who ate your favourite snack during movie night with your friends last week. or two — you’re mad about what happened yesterday.
to be honest, he knows which one it is, because there’s no way you worked out he ate your sour patch kids. he planted the evidence on seungkwan. but more than that, he’s focussed on trying to get you through the door of your apartment, so he stores the thought for later, and grabs your flailing arm to walk you inside.
“i’m not drunk,” you say, the moment your front door is shut. you scowl at him. “so you can go home now.”
jeonghan only sighs a little, reaching to take your bag from you. 
“no!” you pull away, still frowning, but you pull away. you’ve never pulled away from him, not like that, and it leaves jeonghan speechless for a moment. pricks him in a place where it hurts.
“i’m mad at you,” you remind him, shaking off your shoes. 
“you pulled away,” jeonghan says dumbly, still rooted to the spot. 
for some reason, that makes you scoff, and you turn on your heel, marching towards your room, calling over your shoulder — “well, you’d know all about pulling away, wouldn’t you, yoon jeonghan?”
well. if he hadn’t been sure before, he’d be sure now. he can’t do much else other than sigh and follow you, watching in silence as you fish out your pyjamas and shut yourself in the bathroom to change. 
he gives in when you come out, just as you start taking off your jewellery with excessive force. “okay, why don’t you just tell me why you’re mad?”
you cast him a dirty look through the mirror of your dresser. “you know why.” you take off your rings, placing them on the wood a little too hard — “or is that just what we do now? making out and never talking about it?” another ring comes off as you force a bitter kind of cheeriness into your tone. “because that’s great! that’s absolutely fucking fine!”
jeonghan leans against the wall, his face dropping into a frown as he watches you. “i’m sorry.”
“sorry for what? since we’re not talking about it.” you’re taking off your makeup now, running the wipes harshly over your face — too harshly, so jeonghan comes over and takes it out your hand before you can stop him.
carefully, slowly, jeonghan wipes over your forehead, across your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. he tries to be gentle, and you don’t say anything, just blink at him owlishly — all your anger dissipated, at least for the moment. 
“jeonghan,” you say quietly, and suddenly your eyes are wet, and he’s reminded that you’re not completely sober. “what are you doing?”
“hey,” he says, suddenly alarmed, hand cupping your cheek, setting the makeup wipe down, “don’t cry. why are you — ”
“i’m not crying! my eyes are just wet, okay?”
there’s a long moment where he stands with his hand on your cheek, you leaning into his touch, and then you’re asking again, soft — “jeonghan, what are you doing?”
“apologising,” he breathes, and then he’s running a thumb over your cheek. “i’m sorry. about yesterday. about leaving right after — after we kissed.”
your lips protrude in what he can only call a pout. “you didn’t even text.”
“i know,” he murmurs. “i wanted to. i thought — ”
“am i a bad kisser or something?” you demand through a yawn, and then you’re rambling again, a mixture of nervousness and alcohol. “because you kind of caught me by surprise, you know, and i wasn’t really ready and i just — i didn’t know if you were kissing me for the same reason i was kissing you — or if you were just… bored.”
somehow, jeonghan manages a laugh. “___, i don’t kiss people because i’m bored. i kiss them when i like them.”
“so then…” you trail off before you ask the actual question, but jeonghan can see it in your eyes, and he thinks he can see something else too. something that makes his heart do a funny little swoop, makes him crack the slightest of smiles. the weight that’s been pressing into his ribs since yesterday is gone, because one look into your eyes and jeonghan suddenly knows what he couldn’t tell yesterday.
“exactly what you’re thinking,” he says, letting go of your face when he observes your drooping eyes. “but maybe we should talk about this in the morning. if you still remember.”
you don’t say anything, but your eyes sparkle with sudden clarity, like you’ve realised the same thing he’s realised, and you wrap your arms around him for the briefest, sweetest moment.
and then you’re pulling away, but this time jeonghan doesn’t mind as much, because you look him in the eyes and give him a smile that could very well be a piece of heaven.
“i’ll remember,” you promise. “as long as you don’t run away again, i’ll remember.”
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prompt from this prompt list !!!
an / guys honestly this may be incoherent because i’m so sleepy and i had motivation to write this but nowhere near enough motivation to proofread. it might not even make any sense. in fact i apologise for this piece because i don’t think it’s worth reading but if you’re reading the author’s note at the bottom i’m going to assume you’ve already read it. sorry
perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @wondering-out-loud
@tokitosun @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin
@icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars
@immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya
@yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9
@lightnjng @strnsvt @onlyyjeonghan @athanasiasakura
@iamawkwardandshy @twilghtkoo @yuuyeonie @lllucere
@pearlesscentt @sourkimchi @porridgesblog
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pretty-little-mind33 · 21 hours ago
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Dad!James Potter x wife!fem!reader
Summary: Telling James you're pregnant again is scary.
Genre: pure fluff
Warnings: reader is pregnant, vomiting
~ set after Santa Baby and before Snow On The Beach ~
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
Date nights were extremely important to James. Since Henry's birth, he was adamant that his alone time with you was something he didn't want to neglect, even if there was a child in the picture.
Now that Henry was nine, convincing Sirius and Remus to babysit wasn't hard. Especially since they would bring their four year old, Cassiopeia, with them and Henry would graciously play her while you and James went out. 
Tonight's date isn't any different than the others, except that you're a bundle of jumping nerves. It certainly doesn't help that James looks positively stunning with his dark hair slicked back, a few loose curls arrayed across his forehead, and his dark suit, which conveniently matches the velvet navy dress you're wearing.
The restaurant is fancy. It's James's favorite and you secretly think one of the reasons is he likes showing you how much he can spoil you, as if he hadn't been doing just that for the past thirteen years. He'd ordered this fancy appetizer, along with some wine you haven't touched and was currently talking about work. Taking over his father's company was putting some stress on him, which you understood. 
"You know, I can't wait till Harry starts school, not that I won't miss the little bugger," James chuckles behind his wine glass, his mind wandering, "but because we'll have more time. Just us."
His words cause your stomach to sink. How are you supposed to tell him now, you think. James, always observant to your emotions, frowns when he sees your expression. 
"You okay, you look like you're going to be sick—" 
As he speaks, the nausea hits you hard and you stand, holding a hand over your mouth as you rush to the nearest bathroom without any warning. You clumsily throw yourself on the ground, vomiting into the toilet and you choke on an embarrassed sob. 
James is hot on your heels the moment you leave dinner so abruptly, running into the women's bathroom without a care in the world. The older women, who'd been mildly appalled by your vomiting, send him some dirty looks but he doesn't pay them any mind as he opens the stall. He kneels next to you, gently gathering your hair in his hand as he uses the other one to rub soothing circles on your back.
"Hey, my love, what happened?" He asks between soothing words, his hand strokes your hair as you slump against him, tears glistening in your waterline. 
Your husband isn't stupid and he knows you. He looks into your eyes and he understands instantly. His breath hitches as he remembers just how bad your 'morning' sickness was when you were pregnant with Henry, lasting and becoming even worse in the evenings. His gaze softens instantly and clicks his tongue. "Why didn't you tell me?" he scolds half-heartedly, still rubbing soothing circles on your back. 
You sniffle, wiping your mouth with an enormous amount of toilet-paper as you whimper, "I felt like I was going to disappoint you, you seemed so happy for time alone and—"
"And now we are going to have another baby," James finishes for you, kissing your temple as he helps you up and brings you to the sink. He pushes hair behind your face as he gently takes some paper-towel, wets it, and gently runs it under your chin and around your mouth. You look miserable and his heart breaks. 
He doesn't say anything for a moment as he washes your hands, washing his in the process as well. Your mind races. You don't know what to think, what to feel about this new life growing inside you.
He places his large palm on your stomach. You're not showing, yet. You flinch, sniffing. "Why so sad, love?" he whispers as he tries to comfort you.
"You're upset," you whisper, looking at your appearance in the mirror. You look like a mess.
James grins. "Says who?" He laughs and presses a kiss to your forehead again. 
You look on the verge of tears again and your husband's smile falters. He leans down, catching your gaze so you're looking at him properly. "Hey, love, please don't cry okay? I'm not upset, I promise. I'm happy. So so happy, really," James reassures you, a familiar glint of sincerity in his eyes. "We are having another baby. This is the best news, okay?" 
Tension eases in your shoulders and you finally relax. The warm feeling of happiness seeps back into you. You sniff again, looking into his eyes. "Promise?"
He straightens himself and holds out his pinky for you to take. "I pinky promise." You hook your pinky with his and he leans down, kissing his closed fist. You hesitate, finally cracking a small smile as you do the same. 
"Excuse me? This is the ladies room," a snark voice calls from behind you both and you look towards the voice. A woman is standing tensely in the doorway, gripping the hand of her young daughter, and she's glaring daggers at James.
The little girl looks confused and she's clearly feeling the fear her mother is and you can tell from James's expression he feels bad. 
"Sorry." He waves his hands in the air, his cheeks dusted pink, as he points to you, "My wife was sick—I was just leaving—" James looks your way and mouths, "You coming?"
You nod, taking his hand, as he leads you out the door. You mumble a small apology to the woman and James sends a small reading smile to the girl, hoping not to scare her.
Once your back at your table, James gulps down his wine and looks at you sheepishly. "Oops," he mutters. You smile and cover your giggles. James's smile widens when you laugh and he reaches over, resting his hand over yours. 
"Seriously, baby," he says, seriously now, "I'm really happy. And Henry will be happy too."
You rub your temples, taming some of the wisps of hair that fall in front of your eyes. "Yeah? You think so?"
James laughs, "No. He's gonna be furious," he pauses when he sees that his joke isn't landing and he squeezes your hand. "I'm joking. He'll be the best big brother. He's already so good with Cassi, he's practically an older brother already."
You smile. "He is, isn't he?"
James hums, that giddy smile of his returning. "Pregnant. Again," he muses, "I can't believe how lucky I am," he says and looks at you like you're the brightest star in the universe. You feel your cheeks warm. "I love you."
"I love you more," you say back, bringing his knuckles to your lips. 
James grins and when he catches glimpse of your untouched wine glass, a smirk curls his lips and shake his head, clicking his tongue. "Can't drink this, baby," he teases you and slides it over to his side. You roll your eyes. 
"I wasn't," you argue playfully.
"Hmm?"
You swat his hand, knowing he's teasing you on purpose to lighten the mood. Still, your nerves have calmed and you aren't feeling as nauseous anymore. In fact, you can finally truly feel excited now. Another baby. You smile.
Once the food arrives and the topic of conversation had changed to James excitedly coming up with new baby names, you feel at ease again and warmth spreads in your stomach.
You move your foot under the table, gently touching James's ankle—just to let him know you love him. James doesn't mention it but his smile widens as he speaks, a look of adoration and love sparkling in his eyes. 
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chlerc · 2 days ago
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hidden recordings ; charles leclerc
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— summary; you never realised how sentimental and adorable charles could be until you come across the black box tucked away in a corner of a drawer.
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pairing — highschool-best-friend-charles leclerc x f. reader ( third person story )
word count — 1172.
content — 5 short recordings he recorded just to remember you, and how he secretly wishes you’d stumble upon it one day. he loves you a lot, like a loooottttttt. you’re it for him.
NAVIGATION + author’s note: i love this vcr love confession concept so much, it’s so cute recording things and people that means the most to you. happy chinese new year :o
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THE LATE AFTERNOON SUNLIGHT FILTERED softly through the window, casting a warm, amber glow across the apartment as she worked her way through the cluttered shelves. It was supposed to be a simple day of tidying up — a routine chore that had grown overdue — but as always, the small, nostalgic things had a way of slowing her down. Dust motes danced in the air as she opened an old, wooden box tucked away in the corner of a drawer, a box she had almost forgotten. Its contents were a time capsule of sorts, filled with small mementos and keepsakes that had survived the years — photographs, letters, concert tickets, and little trinkets that had woven themselves into the fabric of her relationship with Charles.
A small smile tugged at her lips as she sifted through the items, fingers brushing over the worn edges of a photograph of them as children, their innocent grins forever preserved in time. It was a testament to how far they’d come, from childhood friends to something far deeper, a bond that had grown over years of shared experiences and memories. As she dug further into the box, her hand paused as it closed around something unfamiliar — a small, black thumb drive, half-buried beneath a stack of old letters.
Her brow furrowed in curiosity as she pulled it out, turning it over in her fingers. It wasn’t labelled, and for a moment, she wondered what it could contain. Charles was never one to leave things lying around without a reason, and this had clearly been tucked away for some time. Her curiosity piqued, she reached for her laptop, a quiet hum of intrigue settling over her as she plugged the thumb drive into the port.
The screen flickered to life, revealing a folder containing five short video files. No titles, just numbered sequences — each one simple and unassuming, yet they called to her like fragments of a forgotten story. With a small click, she opened the first file, and her heart skipped a beat as the screen filled with the familiar face of Charles, much younger, his boyish charm evident even then.
He must have been in his early teens in this first video. His hair was a little unruly, the way it always used to be when he wasn’t bothered by appearances, and there was a hint of nervousness in the way he looked directly into the camera. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other before speaking. “Uh, hi,” he began, his voice cracking slightly with the uncertainty of youth. “So, I’m not really sure why I’m doing this… but I guess it’s just something I wanted to keep. A reminder, maybe. For her.” There was a pause, and he ran a hand through his hair, glancing off-camera as if gathering his thoughts. “She’s always been there, you know? My best friend… even though I’m older, I still think she’s way braver than I am.”
A soft chuckle escaped her as she watched him stumble through his words, that endearing awkwardness still as familiar as ever. The screen flickered as the video ended, and without hesitation, she opened the next one. This time, Charles appeared a little older, his features more defined, his smile a little more confident.
“It’s funny,” he said, the camera slightly shaky as if he were holding it himself, “I never realised how much she means to me until recently. We’ve always been together, and it’s like… it’s always been her. I don’t know how else to explain it.” His gaze softened, and there was a vulnerability in his eyes that made her heart ache in the sweetest way. “She’s the one person who can make everything feel right, even when things are a mess. I think, no — I know, I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her for longer than I knew.”
The words hung in the air, settling deep within her as she paused the video, feeling the weight of his confession even though it had been made years ago. It was a piece of him, captured in time, before they had ever taken that leap from friends to something more. She pressed play again, her heart caught in her throat.
The third video was taken during what looked like a school trip. The background was noisy, filled with the laughter of classmates and the hum of distant chatter. Charles was standing by a river, looking a little winded as if he had just finished some outdoor activity. “She’s going to laugh at this,” he grinned, breathless but radiant. “She always teases me about being uncoordinated, but she’s the one who nearly fell into the river earlier. I had to catch her — again.” His smile softened. “I wouldn’t change a thing, though. She’s… she’s my favourite person in the world.”
By the fourth video, she found herself holding back tears. In this one, he was visibly older, perhaps just before he left for university. His expression was more serious, the playful boyishness replaced with something more resolute. “I’m leaving soon,” he began, his voice quieter, as though he were speaking directly to her even though she wasn’t there. “And it terrifies me. I don’t know what it’s going to be like, being apart for the first time in… ever. But I know one thing for sure: no matter where I go, or how long we’re apart, I’ll always come back to her. I have to. She’s… she’s home.”
Her hands trembled slightly as she clicked on the final video, her breath catching in her chest. In this one, Charles was as she knew him now — his familiar face filling the screen with that smile that always seemed to disarm her. “If you’re watching this,” he said softly, “then you’ve found it. I wasn’t sure if you ever would, but I hoped you might.” His eyes glimmered with affection, his smile gentle. “You’ve always been the best part of my life. From the very beginning. I made these videos because I wanted to remember — wanted you to remember — how much you’ve always meant to me. I’ve loved you for a long time, and I’m going to keep loving you for the rest of my life.”
Her vision blurred as the final video ended, the stillness of the room punctuated by the steady hum of the laptop. She sat there for a long moment, overwhelmed by the depth of what she had just witnessed — memories of Charles, preserved like fragments of a love story that spanned years. Each video was a testament to the quiet, unwavering devotion that had always existed between them, even before they had given it a name.
As she closed the laptop, her heart swelled with an indescribable warmth. This was their story — one that began in childhood and grew into something more, something profound. And as she held the thumb drive in her hand, she knew that whatever lay ahead, they would always have these memories to hold onto.
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callipraxia · 52 minutes ago
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I’ll admit it - thinking of ‘but what will people think of me?’ has stopped me short of writing things before, in everything from writing actual content to writing part of a review on a friend’s story. “What will [Friend] think, seeing that I know that? Even if I explain the actually relatively innocuous reason why I know it, would they even believe me? This is an issue of how something is portrayed in media that I feel pretty strongly about, but in context, it might be better to just…drop it.”
I…tried actually including a detailed example of my next point here, drawing from Anon’s Robert Jordan remark, but it ended up breaking the thousand-word limit before I even got past the introductory explanations, so I guess I’ll write a separate essay about why I don’t really agree with the “dudebro is secretly obsessed with lesbians and BDSM” line of thinking, maybe link it back here later if I remember. In the meantime, the point was - if I start thinking “dang, I think Author X has an Issue with Y,” it’s usually a lot less because of what the author leaves in than what the author leaves out. As an author, one deliberately chooses to explore certain topics, including dark ones that reflect the issues that preoccupy us (isn’t Anne Rice’s work supposed to be kinda messed up? I mean, I’ve never read a word she wrote that I can recall, but aren’t they all, y’know, horror novels?). As distasteful as we might find it, incest and pedophilia and sexual assault and suicide and all those other words you can’t use on YouTube are real things that happen every day. There’s a plethora of reasons why any given author might want to explore such issues in writing, and at least half of ‘em have nothing to do with sex. I’ve never heard anyone imply that Dostoyevsky must have been really, really turned on by the thought of attacking pawnbrokers with axes, much less that he ever committed a murder in real life just for the heck of it. From what I’ve read - though to be fair, my reading on the subject is not extensive - Nabokov probably wasn’t really a pedophile, and Mario Puzo probably had nothing to do with real-life organized crime. I have heard a few people suggest Stephen King must be a perverted serial killer in real life to write what he writes, but those people were idiots. And so forth. Point is, an author examining evil through a certain point of view really should not lead to the assumption that the author has done or wants to do any of those bad things. That’s why we say that authors use their imaginations when they’re working.
Plus, well…nine times out of ten, nobody’s going to make you read a book. If you really can’t read a book without getting uncomfortable because you can’t stop thinking that X or Y means that the author might have wanted his wife to put him on a leash and spank him, you can almost always just…put down the book and go read something else. You can also do this if you’re uncomfortable with Anne Rice apparently having conflicting feelings about God - that isn’t a potential theme that bothers me, but I know people who would be upset for days about reading something that even hinted at someone Having Questions about the divine. Heck, I have a few books I 99% enjoy and I just skim over or entirely skip parts that involve actions I find uncomfortable - my one hard rule is that I won’t willingly even skim anything where bad things happen to pets, but even then, I don’t assume that everybody who ever earned a Newbury Medal is a bad person who likes thinking about such things. I just don’t read their books. Unless you are compelled to do otherwise for a class* or the like, just do thou likewise.
*I was, very reluctantly, compelled to read two books in my undergraduate Adolescent Literature class where bad things happened to dogs; it was the first and last time in my life that I’ve ever tried to get out of reading something, but the professor didn’t believe what I could bring myself to explain about just how negative of a reaction I knew I would have if I read any books with dying dogs in them. Now I still have one of those scenes lodged in my carousel of intrusive thoughts that drive my anxiety level up and make it really difficult not to engage in compulsive behaviors whenever they rudely shove their way up to the front of my brain, but I don’t think badly of Sherman Alexie because of it.
Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?
Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.
Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!
But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"
Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.
I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.
Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.
But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.
Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.
Also, we don't censor words here.
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corseque · 3 days ago
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I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity
For me, the game was a series of me saying
"ok I knew that. cool."
"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."
"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"
"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"
"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"
"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"
"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"
"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."
"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"
"aw that was sweet"
"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"
and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:
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The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.
The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.
People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.
Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.
So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"
(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)
And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.
Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.
From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.
And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.
Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol
(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)
I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.
All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah
I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.
I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.
I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into
Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.
These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.
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edward-munson · 2 days ago
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I don't care | S.H.
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Summary: Taking care of Steve after he was attacked by an army of demobats seems like a lot of work, only because apparently he doesn't like you.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of injury, allusion to smut
Word count: 2.2k
☆°•○♡
"You want them spicy or not?" You ask Steve as you make nachos for dinner for both of you.
He's lying on the couch, on his back. He still recovers from the attack of the demobats. His neck is almost fully scarred, but the bites on his stomach and his sides are still painful. You've been laying low together for close to two weeks.
Your friends didn't want to make you team up with them to find Vecna and kill him. Not that you're not brave or strong enough to do so. But you're still pretty new to all of this and someone had to stay with Steve. So you didn't even bother opposing the idea, even though he's not your biggest fan.
God knows why, he never told his reasons. And your friends didn't know either. Maybe Eddie did, but he wouldn't open his mouth about it.
"I still think this is really unnecessary. I'm not a fucking child" He complains as he walks past the kitchen door, leaning against the sink.
With crossed arms, he looks at your food. You made chilli beans, guacamole and cheese sauce for the spicy nachos. You look up at him, trailing your eyes on his neck for an instant before raising an eyebrow to him.
"You can't even hold your own weight, Harrington. Stop being a crybaby".
Steve scoffs at you, but doesn't move an inch from his position. "Jesus, I wish we had another plan".
You drop the spoon you were using, turning your face to look at him. "I'm only doing this because they asked me to. Get off your own ass".
You leave the kitchen, walking out to the bedroom you were sleeping on. You were staying at his house. It's not like there were other options, but you couldn't refuse to stay there when he's alone and barely walking. Well, he can walk. The worst part is that he needs rest because of his wounds.
The past two weeks you've been quite getting along. Not that much, really. It's not like you were friends. Probably more like close acquaintances. Because obviously, he was the one pushing you away.
You didn't leave your room for a while, you were too annoyed to eat, and since it was dinner for the two of you, it didn't feel like you should eat anymore. You decided to spend your time watching something on the TV, which would easily make you get bored.
And then you would read books, or write stuff. It's been pretty tough lately since Vecna appeared. Max almost got killed and now she was staying at Dustin's house. The other kids were coming back to Hawkins to help, maybe Eleven might be able to do something about that.
You actually wished you were doing something fun. Like, taking a trip to the beach or snowboarding since it's fall and the weather has been cold. Your thoughts were pushed back by a knock on the door. Steve didn't open it and you didn't mention doing it either, so he just stayed there.
"Sorry I was an idiot" His voice came out muffled through the closed door. "I know I've been cranky and annoying".
You only opened the door after a couple of minutes, not exactly sure if he was still there. But he looked up from the floor at you. "You used to be nice. I mean, way before this curse happened".
He stayed quiet, because you were right. But what else can he do if the world was turned upside down (almost literally) again? And you almost got them killed once, not on purpose of course.
You were also the one to get too close to Robin and he hated seeing his best friend sharing her friendship with someone else. Because up until then, he was the only one she was the closest he had to a friend, even though he had a strong relationship with Eddie too.
None of it was your fault, but he grew annoyed over you. He couldn't lie to himself and say you weren't too kind and helpful. But he started to become extremely unenthusiastic over you through the year.
"A lot has happened since then. I'm trying to live up to the fact that we're against another monster again" Steve leans an arm against the doorframe, but refuses to keep his gaze at you.
"Which isn't my fault, by the way. Not to mention I'm the one who pulled you out of the watergate before you were eaten".
Another few seconds of silence, which was followed by a sarcastic nasal laugh. He shook his head and hung it low to the floor.
"Oh, you want a prize for that? Because I remember clearly when I didn't ask for your help!" His words were harsh, even if not intended.
But now you were the one who didn't know what to say. Until you feel the bitter taste on your tongue.
"Guess I should've let them rip your skin apart, then".
He saw the door shutting in front of him, cursing himself for being extremely idiotic and insensitive. He almost felt like punching his own face for that.
Steve heard you talking to Eddie that night through your walkie talkie. It was a little bit hard to hear because the reception was static for you. But you could listen to Eddie and God, you missed him and the others. It started to become unbearable to live with Steve. He heard you lament the whole situation, complaining about the way you were treating each other.
He was bitter about the things they were going through. He was angry he couldn't have done more. And he was taking it out all on you. He couldn't face another apology on the same day, because he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not right now.
The next day, he made breakfast by himself. It took you by surprise, but by the time you were up, he had already eaten. And you wouldn't want to eat with him either. You remember Nancy saying the bickering was just "sexual tension" but you knew it didn't have anything to do with that.
Even though you felt your ears burning from the thought, you couldn't deny to yourself that he was pretty charming. And seeing him shirtless whenever he would change the gauze made you feel weird. God, his hair was always pretty while yours looked like a bird nest after waking up.
The day seemed to have lasted longer since you haven't exchanged a single word to each other. He was focused on watching movies, playing video games and listening to music. He was getting bored out of his mind, but there wasn't much he could do being injured.
You, on the other hand, went out to do some errands. In fact, you didn't care you left him alone. You were getting tired of staying inside. So you went to see Max, and invited her to eat at Burger King. She seemed to feel better to do something like that too. Everything seemed pretty fuzzy lately.
Will, Mike and Eleven were pretty close to Hawkins. Thanks to Argyle who thinks he's a speed racer, and Jonathan who encourages him to drive long hours so they can arrive as soon as possible.
It was almost 7 PM when you came back home. You've finally had some fun after a week. You obviously couldn't be going out since they still haven't found Vecna and he knows about you too. The man in front of you seemed pretty pissed that he didn't see you were out until he woke up two hours ago.
"What? Don't give me that father look" You dropped your backpack on the floor and followed upstairs.
He's got a whole show prepared and he wasn't feeling like he would regret it this time.
"You know you can't just fucking go out and yet, you still do" He walked behind you, like a mother scolding a child.
"Yeah, dad. I know so. But here I am, back in pieces" You turned on your heel to look at him before closing your door.
Much to your dismay, he was faster this time, holding it with his right foot and right hand. Even injured, he was still stronger than you.
"No, don't push it. You can be an easy target for him, you know that?"
You huff, dropping your arm to your side. "Look, Harrington. I'm an adult, and I'm very aware of what I do or don't do. So please, just stop making a scene and leave me the fuck alone".
Steve couldn't even stand arguing with you anymore, it was so tiring. But he knew he would blame himself if something ever happened to you out there. He couldn't let this happen to you, even though you've been annoying him for whatever reason.
He took a step towards you, his hands balling into fists. The way your eyes were boring into him in an unamused face irritated him even more.
"Look, honey" His tone was purely sarcastic and you felt it not only in his voice, but in his demeanor too. "You know you're putting yourself at risk doing that. If I'm not fucking sure you're safe as well, I won't live with that".
At each passing second, you could feel him walking to you, but you couldn't walk back. You couldn't run from him, you couldn't get away from him. You wouldn't, you didn't feel like you wanted to.
"And not just because of my friends, they sure would kill me. But because I couldn't lose another person" You feel his breathing hitting your face, his eyes flicking as he looks at you.
He looks down at you with such intensity, it's crazy how there's a magnetic pull towards him.
You hold his gaze, feeling a cold shiver down your spine. He didn't look like he was about to snap at you, even though his tone was a bit loud.
He furrows his brows when he sees your lip curling into a smirk. "Well, Steve" His fingers move by the sound of his name, you always call him Harrington. "I thought you didn't care if I died or not".
This time, he was the one to smirk at you. "Honey, I don't remember saying I never cared about you".
Your stomach sank at that. Because now as you think of it, it comes crashing down as a realization that he never really said anything related to that. He truly never spoke about it.
"Doesn't seem like it"
"You see, this is why you annoy me so much" His nose bumps into yours, but he still gazes at you like he doesn't mean to avoid eye contact.
"Yeah? Then you should–" He doesn't let you finish your sentence.
Steve crashes his lips against yours, his hands flying down your hips. He feels your immediate reaction as you don't correspond right away. For a few seconds, he thinks he's done the wrong thing and almost regrets it, until you grab him by the neck with both hands. You wrap your fingers around his neck, your fingertips grazing the nape of his hair.
Your lips are smacking his lips in a hurry, while he runs a hand to cradle your face. He slips his tongue into your mouth and holds his breath when he feels your tongue moving in sync with him. He doesn't want to admit this is what he wished he could've done before.
Steve has been so stressed lately that he could only think about defeating Vecna. He didn't realize how much you were willing to take care of him these weeks. All he knew was that he also had to take care of you. And this is why he became so angry when you left without him knowing.
Especially because if something did happen to you, he would feel the regret of being an asshole to you.
He rips a low whimper from you when he gently grasps your lower lip by his teeth as he heaves against your mouth. You're both too absorbed into your own feelings, leaving grunts and gripping each other everywhere.
His fingers were digging your skin every time you would kiss his jawline and he was growing eager. He didn't want to look like he was trying to take advantage of you, only noticing now how much you also wanted this.
He then roughly pulls your shirt off, watching as your chest is quickly rising and falling. And his eyes sparkled when he saw your cleavage for the first time like that. Your bra perfectly hugging your round big breasts.
Steve didn't wait any longer, holding your waist and pushing you back against your bed.
That night, he pounded on you just like you dreamed about. He slapped his hips against your ass just like you wished someone would one day. The air was filled with sounds and lust.
You didn't even notice when your friends arrived right after he had an orgasm. You didn't have time to get dressed, only getting caught when Robin opened the door to you both naked. He didn't have time to remove his condom. She saw you naked. And worse. She saw her best friend naked.
And you thought it was going to be awkward, until Eddie turned the awkwardness into "I knew these idiots would fuck".
The night was all about this. They decided to leave the Vecna subject for the next day.
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hoondolls · 3 days ago
Text
PAINTER BABY. 박성훈
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pairing: f!reader x park sunghoon
notices and warnings: non idol au, fluff, neck kisses established relationship, cursing, slightly suggestive ?, painter!reader , guitarist!sunghoon, someone for the love of god tell me a good word counter website 🙏🙏
Sunghoon’s guitar is fucked again. or maybe he’s the one who’s fucked, but it’s easier to blame the strings than admit he’s been playing too much.
he’s stretched out on y/n’s lap, fingers twisting at the tuning pegs, brows furrowed like this is some great dilemma. it’s not, but sunghoon likes to act like his entire livelihood depends on this. in reality, he just plays at underground gigs with his friends and makes enough for soju and convenience store ramen.
y/n hums, half-listening. her hands are busy mixing paint on an old plastic palette, the kind that still has dried specks of colour from last week. she’s not painting anything serious, just playing with shades, seeing what looks good together. this is what she does when she has the time—paint for no reason, just because it feels nice, there’s a comfortable silence, the kind that only exists when two people have known each other long enough to not fill it. sunghoon’s weight is warm against her thighs, his hair fanning over her hoodie. his guitar lets out a dull pluck as he tests the strings.
“i think my e string’s about to snap,” he mutters, adjusting the tuning peg. he stares at it for a second, like he’s mourning something. then, without warning, he shifts, sitting up and turning to face her properly. “paint something on it.”
y/n looks up, paintbrush still dragging through cerulean blue. “what?”
“my guitar,” he says, tapping the wooden body. “paint something on it. a flower. a little guy. anything.”
she raises a brow. “why?” Inspecting the clearly worn out guitar.
he shrugs, like he hasn’t just admitted to the most sentimental thing ever. “because it’s dying, and i don’t want to think about it.”
y/n blinks. sunghoon meets her gaze like it’s nothing, like he’s not asking her to imprint a piece of herself onto something he loves, something he spends most of his time with. something that’s carried every song he’s ever played.
she exhales, rolling her shoulders. “fine.”
his lips twitch into a smile. he shifts again, resting the guitar across his lap, fingers drumming against the wood. “what are you gonna paint?”
y/n tilts her head, scanning the scratched-up surface. “something sad, since you’re grieving.”
sunghoon groans, letting his head fall back. “you’re the worst.”
she smirks, dipping her brush into white. “you asked.”
he lets her do her thing, watching as she starts with the base—soft petals forming at the edge of the pickguard, curving slightly where the wood is most worn out. her hands are steady, moving with ease like she’s done this a hundred times before. sunghoon feels something tighten in his chest. maybe it’s the reality of his guitar’s last days, or maybe it’s just her, existing in a way that makes things feel less heavy.
he exhales, leaning back on his hands. “i like watching you paint.”
y/n scoffs, but there’s a hint of pink on her ears. “you always say that” she leans back, brush hovering in the air as she takes in her work. the bouquet blooms across the wood, soft pink petals overlapping in clusters, tiny green leaves curling around them. it looks delicate, almost too pretty for sunghoon’s beat-up guitar, but somehow, it fits.
“there, all done.” she smiles, satisfied, but as she shifts, she doesn’t notice the streak of pink smudging across her nose.
sunghoon does.
he tilts his head, grinning. “you’ve got paint all over your face, baby.”
y/n blinks, raising a hand to touch her cheek. “where?”
“everywhere.”
she frowns, trying to wipe it off blindly. it only makes it worse.
sunghoon watches, amused. then, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, he says, “can i lick it off?”
y/n freezes before scowling, her hand drops, eyes snapping to his. “what.”
he blinks at her, all wide-eyed and innocent, like he hasn’t just said the most unhinged thing ever. “what? it’s non-toxic, right?”
she stares. “you’re insane and disgusting .”
he shrugs. “So can I ?.”
y/n groans, shoving at his shoulder. “don’t talk to me.”
sunghoon just laughs, leaning in anyway, eyes flicking to the smudge of paint she still hasn’t wiped off. “fine,” he murmurs, voice laced with amusement. “but you should clean it before i change my mind.”
He didn’t even wait for her to finish wiping the pain then he stared pressing slow kisses just below her jaw.
y/n tenses. “sunghoon—” but he doesn’t stop, trailing soft kisses down the side of her neck, his hands already moving to brace himself on either side of her. her breath catches as he pushes her back, his weight pressing her into the couch.
“You’ll get poisoned I have paint on me—” she starts, but her voice is already faltering, and sunghoon smirks against her skin.
“mm?” he hums, lips grazing her collarbone like he’s not doing anything at all.
y/n swallows hard. “you’re getting paint on yourself.”
sunghoon just laughs, low and warm against her throat. “It’s alright .”
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kabr0ztrousers · 22 hours ago
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Bull hybrid cowboy x chubby fem reader. He runs a little ranch all by himself no one for miles and her car just so happens to break down near his road. He offers her a ride into town but ends up kidnapping her. Would love it if he ties her up and shows her all the reasons why she should stay with him.
Hmm... Now do I write another hucow scene or don't I? Only kidding, you all know where this is going.
Kabr0z Writes Episode 34: Free Range
Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!
CWs: kidnap; dubcon; noncon; lactation; impregnation;
A/N: Thanks again for the steady stream of requests, you lot! Remember if you want to see something, want me to revisit a kink or scenario I've done before, or have a totally new idea, let me know and it'll probably happen!
######################################
You loved that little shitbox of a car, mid 2000's spec, old enough to drink and still going strong. Up until about 5 miles back. You were on a tiny country road in the middle of the night, cruising at 60, when you heard an almighty bang followed by a jangling noise. Your revs went through the roof for a moment before you started to coast. By the time you stopped and inspected the damage you'd already figured out what happened. The jaunty angle of the gearstick and the lack of any resistance on it meant your gears were probably strewn across several hundred metres of road. At least your engine still worked so you had light, heat, and BBC 2.
You didn't, however have any phone signal.
So you sat in the layby in your car, idling the engine to keep the battery running and listening to the 80s. Sleeping in a running car seems like something that's probably illegal, but you figured if the police found you, they could probably give you a tow to go with the fine. Hopefully you'd make it to morning and then walk however far the nearest town is to call your insurance.
A horn behind you shocked you out of your thoughts. You looked around as a rugged 4x4 pulled level with you. A window rolled down and the driver motioned for you to do the same.
He was a bull hybrid, horns wreathing his head, a thick gold ring adorning his nose. "Need a tow?"
"Yeah, I think my gearbox is fucked" you smiled at him
"That'll do it for you, I can get you to town if you want, climb in"
You got out of your car and into his, grateful for the save. He hooked a rope from his car to yours and pulled away, your stricken vehicle in tow.
You didn't think anything of the route he took, country lanes are far too narrow to turn around in, especially in a big vehicle like this one, but you'd been travelling for a while. It's not like he wasn't charming, softly spoken with just a hint of an accent, apparently he had a herd of dairy cattle that he pastured around the area, and you were being regaled about the trade. The radio in the car gently playing some tiny local station or other, predominantly focusing on spinning old records and talking about the weather.
Suspicion set in when you turned off the road, he was taking you up a gravel track in the pitch-dark. He seemed to know the area pretty well but you figured that to get to civilization, you should probably be following the asphalt rather than abandoning it.
He pulled up at a house and turned off the engine, shoving the keys into his pocket "Come on, let's get inside"
You got out and bolted away from the house. You're not stupid enough to follow him in, you'd only just met!
He was faster than you. You'd barely made it twenty yards when you were tackled to the ground. The bull huffed as he tied your ankles together and hefted you over his shoulder. You hit and struggled against him, but he only chuckled at your assault. "Spirited, aren't you?" He opened his door and carried you over the threshold "You'll do fine here"
He put you down onto a plush sofa and sat in a chair opposite to you. Minutes passed in silence, you sullenly staring at him, him eyeing you up like a cut of meat.
"What will you do with me?" You spat at him
"Honestly, I'm not sure. You seemed like a soft townie when I picked you up. I'd thought maybe let you call for a tow, give you a coffee, and maybe a roll in the hay." He was still staring at you
"But?" You felt like there was a but coming
"But, you're not badly built, and you're not such a pushover. Now I'm deciding if I want a wife or not"
You recoiled at his comment "If you think I'm marrying you, you can fuck off!"
He shrugged and got up "Plan B then. With hips and tits like those you'll be a good fit"
He lifted you into a seated position and tore off your top, baring your chest and the rolls of your tummy. He grabbed one of your tits and hefted it "Natural, very good"
If looks could kill, you would've atomised him. As it was he merely met your gaze as he roughly inspected you.
"I was right, you'll do excellently" He picked you up again and swung you over his shoulder before carrying you outside. He crossed a field, not caring about your yelling and screaming for help. He knew nobody was around for miles, even if someone heard you they wouldn't be able to help you. He pushed open a barn door and carried you in, putting you down on a pile of straw "I'll see you tomorrow"
He left you there. The ropes were tied tightly around your ankles. You struggled against them until your fingers went numb to no avail. The other occupants of the barn stirred with your struggling. Your eyes were adjusting to the gloom, you could just about make them out.
They were other women. Some cow hybrids, some not. All of them plump, many pregnant. They looked at you with big doe eyes, curiosity on their faces as they regarded you.
The first one put her arms around you in a hug, then another and another until you were smothered in a dozen round women, their full breasts pressing against you as they started to doze off on you. Stuck there in the centre of the cuddle pile, you couldn't help your eyelids getting heavy, your head cushioned against a plush belly as sleep claimed you too.
You woke with the dawn. The other women mooing eagerly and dispersing around the barn. The bull man from last night opened the door and stepped in. He looked over at you before settling to work. One by one he attached milking cups to the other women, who each settled down contentedly as the machines pumped them, the milk being drawn into tanks at one end of the barn.
Finally he got to you.
"Enjoy your night?"
You spat at him. He laughed.
"Damn, I wish you'd reconsider being my wife. As it is, I can still put a calf in you." He lifted you and carried you to a fence, tying your arms to it before cutting your ankles free.
Your tits swung below you as he pulled your hips up and hiked your skirt up. He tore a hole in your tights, revealing your pussy. You screamed as he started to lick you, his thick tongue penetrating you already as he fingered your clit. You felt your skin flush as your body responded to him, getting wet and ready for him. His licking and stroking was drawing you in, until you quivered with a tearful orgasm.
You felt him straighten up behind you. He lay his cock on your back and you shivered with the length of it before he pulled back and started to ease the tip in, crooning as he went "You're doing great, girl, just a little more, a little more"
The sound of his voice was making you wetter than his tongue did. You whimpered from the fullness from his cock pushing slowly into you, stretching you out. Your hips were pushing back against him, sending waves of motion up your body. He started to push harder, move faster. Your whimpers turned to blissful sobs and whines as you sped towards your next orgasm, the length and girth of him getting you off all by itself. When he squeezed your hips it was too much. Your body tried to push back, but it didn't need to. He could feel your impending orgasm and hilted himself in you, tiny thrusts slapping his balls against your clit and driving you over the edge. He started to throb and pulse in you as your cunt clenched around him. His thrusts were fast and deep, he was close and wasn't going to cum anywhere but inside you. His pounding on your cervix was getting to you, as was his gripping your waist and your hips, and the jolting swaying of your tits. He pushed a hand between your legs and circled his fingers over your clit. You came again. This time he joined in. Your moans and grunts mingled as the other women watched you, still mooing in euphoria from being attached to the pumps.
He stayed inside you, his cock still giving occasional pumps of cum. His huge hands tracing patterns on your back and rubbing your aching muscles. Then he pulled out, and you heard a spatter of his cum fall out of you and onto the straw below. He cut your arms free and helped you off the railings, laying you on the straw.
"I treat my ladies well, you'll see"
A month has passed since you joined the herd. You spend your mornings hooked up to the milking machines, your afternoons lounging in the fields munching clover and enjoying the company of your new friends, then in the evenings Aaron, as you leaned his name, would often visit you and put another load in you. You're already late on your period, you just haven't told him yet.
Yeah, you're giving up some freedoms, and you're pretty sure you're getting dumber
But it sure beats your old job
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Postscript: A bit of an experiment in trying to split the difference between "awful human farm" and not being overly horrible to the POV character. Hopefully it hits the mark nicely. Who knows, I may do a continuation or a "what if" where it goes into fluffy marital sex between Aaron and Fem!Reader...
At any rate, this is your periodic reminder that my ask box and DMs are always open, and to not hold back on your requests! I'm not in the habit of airing anyone's dirty laundry so if you do cross some unforeseen line the worst you'll get is a no
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jadagul · 2 days ago
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I want to emphasize that I agree with you in, like, 95% of situations, which is why this one feels so weird to me.
You're right that protests don't have, like, magical persuasion power. (And a lot of people implicitly think they do, which leads to major strategic errors, again see all the climate protests.)
Protests can do, basically, two things. One is implicitly threaten [possibly violent] rejection of the system. That's what leads to things like color revolutions, and the reason I have historically been skeptical of protests as a technique in the US context. The US system is pretty good! (The Trump government is very bad but it's bad in large part because it is itself a possibly-violent rejection of the system.)
The other thing protests can do is force attention and focus to an issue. And that can be very valuable, when a bunch of people who aren't paying attention would agree with you.
And like you show the NYT and MSNBC etc, but most people do not read the New York Times. Most people don't follow politics at all. Trump was put over the top by voters who, on November 4th, googled "Is Biden running for reelection?"
The median voter does not follow politics and does not want to follow politics. And on some level, if you try to force them to follow politics they'll resent it; it's not like they're failing to read CNN's website despite their best efforts.
But if you have something that would genuinely upset or piss off that bulk of apathetic disengaged voters, you can benefit from inconveniently forcing it to their attention. This was basically the goal of the actual 60s Civil Rights Movement protests: they created situations where white voters who didn't support segregation but also didn't care that deeply had to think about it, and then conclude that Jim Crow was pretty fucked up and they were against it.
Now this only works if you're really drawing attention to an issue where people will wind up decisively on your side when they look. (And that also requires the protest itself not to alienate them.) But Trump is doing such stupid, catastrophic, offensive things that we probably have that situation. Just need to figure out how to engineer the correct optics for it.
It's kind of weird to me how little in the way of mass protests we're seeing in response to this Trump stuff.
I'm usually skeptical of protests. The modern, uh, left-wing protest culture seems actively calibrated to accomplish nothing other than making its participates feel good.
But this seems like exactly the type of situation where protesting could genuinely accomplish things. Trump is doing things that are (1) bad, (2) unpopular, and (3) illegal. That's the ideal case for protests to make progress!
Like, Trump isn't personally going to care about protests. But the thing they're good for is drawing attention to an issue that people either don't know about or would rather ignore, but where they'll be on your side if they have to actually think about what's going on.
That doesn't apply to most wedge issues, and especially not most of the ones that get the left fifth of society really excited. But "Trump shut down Medicaid" or "Trump handed the Treasury over to private actors who are refusing to spend money on [insert program here]" or "Trump put in a bunch of tariffs and now your groceries and phones are way more expensive" all totally apply.
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jeonscatalyst · 2 days ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/774212277059682304/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7742039285407416
“Serves them right for being idiots” then proceeds to make the most idiotic write up of all time. The fact that anyone can have a smart phone and internet these days to spew nonsense online is beyond me.
Hi anon,
There was a time when I used to think this was the most sensible Taekook blogger on Tumblr, but over time, my opinion began to shift. I haven’t seen a single insightful post from this blogger since AYS was announced. I used to frequent Taekook blogs because it was fun to read other people’s perspectives, but eventually, I stopped visiting their spaces because I felt like I was losing brain cells after every visit.
This particular blogger frustrates me because it’s evident they truly believe they are wise or introspective, when, in reality, they are just as misguided as any other Taekooker. I won’t go into detail about the differences between Taekook and Jikook, nor the clear evidence of who is closer, as I’ve already done that in a lengthy post in the past. You can read it here…
Instead, today I want to address a few things that Taekookers, and some Jikookers as well, still fail to understand, not only about the bond between Jikook and Taekook, but also about human relationships in general.
Let’s begin with the fact that this blogger claims the Jikook ship was created by BigHit. Not only is this the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read, but it’s also a pathetic excuse for why another pairing gained recognition. Let’s not even mention that this blogger has only been in the fandom for a short time and probably caught up on content through YouTube edits, (you can tell they’re the type to fall for YouTube edits because they cite them as references), TikTok, and various conspiracy theories from bitter Taekookers trying to explain away the connection they see between Jimin and Jungkook. This person hasn’t been around long enough to form such strong opinions about the past, yet they act as though they lived through it all personally. Not saying one couldn’t be informed about a past they didn’t experience but we all know living through something is different from getting information about it second hand.
How exactly did BigHit create the Jikook ship when the primary reason for its popularity is the GCF Jungkook posted in November 2017? That video, which Jungkook made after a trip with Jimin to Japan, was not related to work. In fact, Jungkook explicitly stated that the trip and by extension, the GCF, was not work-related in any way. How could BigHit have created the ship when nearly every major Jikook moment came from Jungkook himself? If you were to ask any Jikooker on the street why they started shipping Jikook, you’d hear about things like the GCF, MMA 2018, the Rose Bowl, Hickeygate, etc. Not a single one would mention anything related to the company, and notice how all of these key moments were initiated by Jungkook?
This blogger also goes on to say that Jimin leans into fanservice more because he wants to please the company and the fans. I find it hard to understand how this isn’t anti behavior, especially since this blog claims it doesn’t harbor any ill feelings toward Jimin. Implying that Jimin lives his entire life to cater to fans and a corporation while disregarding the feelings of his friends is such an anti move especially because Jungkook himself describes Jimin as thoughtful and selfless. I doubt he would see Jimin this way if Jimin constantly disregarded his feelings and focused more on pleading fans and a money hungry coorperation.
The reason I mentioned that Jungkook initiates most of the interactions that Jikookers find significant is because Taekookers often argue that Jimin leans more into “fanservice” than Jungkook does and that Jungkook sometimes seems hesitant to engage due to his consideration for Taehyung. However, it doesn’t seem to me that Jungkook was particularly concerned about Taehyung when he singlehandedly kickstarted the ship with his GCF. He certainly didn’t seem worried about Taehyung during MMA 2018, or when he openly shared that his “bro” Jimin had bitten him on the neck while tipsy after a late-night drink knowing exactly how shippers would react. It doesn’t appear that he had Taehyung in mind when he revealed that he showers and sings with Jimin in the military fully aware of how fans might react to that information. By now, we have to assume that all the members are aware of what fans do, and Jungkook must know about both Jikookers and Taekookers. If he were truly concerned about Taehyung’s feelings regarding his “fanservice” with Jimin, I highly doubt he would have invited himself to shower at Jimin’s during a live, fully aware of how fans would interpret that.
This blogger seems to forget that it was thanks to Jimin that Jikookers didn’t have more moments to celebrate in chapter two of their bond. It was Jungkook who kept the ship alive during that time. If it had been up to Jungkook, we would have had many more moments to highlight. He was the one going live multiple times, talking about Jimin, watching and singing his songs. If Jimin had accepted when Jungkook invited him over for chicken and beer, we would have had a Jikook moment. If Jimin had shown up when Jungkook extended an open invite to any member to join him, we would have had a Jikook moment. If Jimin had agreed when Jungkook asked to come over, do a live, and shower at his place, we would have had countless moments to talk about for years. But alas, none of these things happened because of Jimin. Yet, somehow, he’s the one being accused of leaning more into “fanservice”?
These newer fans are incredibly fortunate to have encountered a quieter version of Jimin. If they had been around pre-2020, and witnessed how unapologetically vocal Jimin was about Jungkook, they would have disliked him (well, they dislike him now, but they wouldn’t have been able to hide it as they do now). They are lucky that they came in during a time when Jimin has become more reserved. If Jimin really wanted to cater to shippers he wouldn’t have said “no” when asked if he had eaten Jungkook’s ramen yet. He would have gone to Inkigayo just to give shippers something to talk about. He could have easily gone to Jungkook’s house anytime and taken photos, posted them, or even shared a video from when he spent the night with him before Jeju. He never lacked invitations from Jungkook; in fact, Jungkook asked him over multiple times. The only reason we didn’t see those moments was because of Jimin.
They claim Jungkook holds back because he’s concerned about Taehyung, but I didn’t see him thinking about Taehyung when he cuddled into Jimin’s lap and slapped his butt in AYS. The funniest part is, in AYS, Jungkook initiated more physical contact with Jimin than Jimin did. Nearly every time Jimin initiated anything, it was usually playful, but it was Jungkook who woke up and cuddled into Jimin, touched Jimin to look for mosquito bites, who “caressed Jimin’s smooth legs on the yacht”, who leaned on Jimin’s shoulder during the train ride. It was Jungkook who constantly talked about how much he loved the trip, describing it as the best trips of his life. Most of the significant Jikook moments from AYS were once again initiated by Jungkook, but Taekookers ignore these and magnify moments when Jungkook playfully pushes or shoves Jimin away when he’s being mischievous, claiming that it’s him setting boundaries. If he were really setting boundaries, he wouldn’t have cuddled into Jimin’s lap and slapped his ass. If he were setting boundaries, he wouldn’t have leaned on Jimin’s shoulder during the train ride. If he were really worried about Taehyung, he wouldn’t have told us that the trips with Jimin were the best trips of his life, especially after taking “private” trip with Taehyung. That’s insulting. So, I fail to see how Jimin is the one who leans more into “fanservice” when many Jikookers are still here today thanks to Jungkook.
This blogger’s concept of closeness is truly amusing and highlights their ignorance. According to them, Jimin seems closer to Taehyung simply because he called him a few times in chapter two. Wouldn’t it be nice if life were that simple and linear? Wouldn’t it be easier and less complicated if relationships were so black and white? This blogger claims that the things they’ve said themselves prove who is closer among the three, but I fail to see how Taehyung and Jungkook talking about not having deep conversations or feeling awkward with each other proves how close they are. I don’t understand how Taehyung saying that he only learned about Jikook’s trip through the group chat shows how close they are. How does Taehyung not knowing Jungkook was filming a show with Jimin demonstrate their closeness? And how does Taehyung not knowing Jimin spent the night at Jungkook’s before Jeju prove that they’re close? Mind you taekookers believe that everytime Jk was on his phone in AYS he was talking with Tae and they also believe that Taekook FaceTime a lot but my question is, what do they talk about on this numerous calls if Tae keeps finding out about Jungkook’s schedules from a group chat and not from Jungkook himself? If anything, these examples illustrate exactly how Taekook’s friendship and bond truly are.
Human relationships are fluid, multifaceted, and complex. Closeness and distance are influenced by factors like mental state, career shifts, personal growth, emotional needs, stress, and misunderstandings. It’s important to remember that a single period of time doesn’t define the entirety of a relationship, but it can reflect specific phases, changes, or circumstances that affect how people interact.
The fact that Jimin might have kept in touch more with Taehyung than with Jungkook during a particular period doesn’t necessarily mean that he feels closer to Taehyung. Let me illustrate this with an example, though this is not meant to reflect what happened in Jikook’s situation. If you have a friend and a lover, you would likely communicate more with your lover, depending on the circumstances. However, if you experience a misunderstanding, disagreement, breakup, or a period of distance with your lover, you might reduce or stop contact with them during that time but still maintain communication with your friend. Does this mean you’re closer to the friend you’re still in touch with? Of course not. It’s simply a matter of circumstances. This specific period doesn’t define your bond or who you feel closer to. This is the basic concept I’ve been trying to explain to for so long and I am honestly baffled people don’t understand this. I don’t know how everyone else does it but sometimes, when I don’t understand certain things, I put myself, my relationship and that of friends, family and acquaintances in that position to see it from a more realistic point of view because it is often so easy to view these people through a tunnel that blocks every logic out. Because these aren’t people we know personally it is very easy to watch them thinking we are watching movies or something.
Relationships and their depth are not defined by one single moment in time but by history, patterns, and consistency. And that’s something Taekook lacks. They don’t have a history that demonstrates they are or have ever been closer than Jikook at least not emotionally. There’s no consistency either. You’ll notice that Taekookers often cling to the solo era, referencing it as proof of their ship, because without that period in the 13+ years BTS has been together, they have almost nothing. There’s no evidence of Taekook knowing or hanging out with each other’s friends, little or no proof of them prioritizing time together outside of work, no evidence of them being each other’s biggest supporters, and no evidence of them seeking comfort or companionship from each other, except during fun moments. They literally have nothing else, and they know this, which is why they hold onto the solo era……it’s all they have. Taekook could come out of the military and never be seen together outside of work again, but Taekookers would still cling to that era. If you carve out that solo era period from the ship and ask taekookers to make arguments for their ship, they go back to slowed down edits, narratives about two lovers being separated and oppressed or counting moles on each others faces. Most of the arguments they have today they didn’t have before the solo era and they don’t find that straight. One of the funniest thing I ever read a taekooker on here write was that Taekook is real because they kept hanging out with each other when there was no contractual obligation. These are the same people who claim every time Jk mentioned Jimin on Lives he did it because of his contract or that he couldn’t say no to the travel show because of contracts. If Hybe could make Jungkook obey the contractual obligations to do fanservice with Jimin, couldn’t they stop takeook from hanging out? Yet they themselves send off takeook to premiers with body guards, send them off to concerts, post bangtan bombs of them on Valentine’s Day which they same tkkrs gosh about mind you. As if any of these boys ever had a contractual obligation to spend time with each other outside of work. I wonder what was said in the contract to make Jikook hang out all the times we know they did consistently for years.
This blogger claims that Jikook don’t need each other on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, and suggests that Taekook does because they hung out during the solo era. First of all, there’s a big difference between two friends hanging out out of convenience and two people actually prioritizing each other’s company over everyone else’s. Taekookers believe Taekook prioritized each other, but that’s simply not true. Prioritization happens when circumstances don’t make it easy or you have other options but you still make the effort or choose each other. Other members were busy with their solo projects so who else was there for Jungkook to do those thrilling things with except Taehyung? Also notice how Jk was almost always tagging along with Tae and his friends and not just him and Tae together doing stuff which mean even Tae’s friends were always still more of a priority for him and Jungkook was an add on to the fun. For years, we rarely saw Taekook hang out outside of work, and we even confirmed that they didn’t spend time together during breaks, birthdays, or other significant days. We also confirmed that they grew a bit distant. So, now you think they prioritized each other just because they started hanging out when both of them had free time and mind you at a time when other didn’t? That’s not how it works. And it’s clear that wasn’t the case because as soon as they got busy with their albums, the hangouts stopped. They both still made time to frequently hang out with others, just not with each other as much. This is the simplest proof that if their schedules hadn’t aligned, we definitely wouldn’t have seen them together as much. They always talk about Jimin hanging out with Yoongi and Hobi but ofcourse. That was a given because 1: they are his close friends and 2: their schedules aligned way more than they did with other people. They were all working on their albums and were probably operating on the same wavelength as opposed to Jungkook who was on a rest and no work mode so it make sense that they kept more communication because they saw each other more so it was easier to do more stuff together. Also notice how Jimin wasn’t seen going to concerts or premieres and stuff like that with Hobi and Yoongi but occasionally had drinks with them, played games with them and talked with them on the phone. It’s really not the same things to compare.
What Taekookers have never understood about Taekook is that their dynamic is a fun and lighthearted one, primarily centered around shared activities. They click well when it comes to doing fun things they both enjoy. They have many common interests, particularly when it comes to engaging in entertaining activities. Their bond is more situational and activity-based rather than deeply emotionally intertwined. While they clearly enjoy spending time together, their interactions suggest a relationship built on fun, shared interests, and a natural ease in each other’s presence, rather than one rooted in deep personal connection or emotional dependence.
If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that Taehyung and Jungkook’s hangouts are almost always centered around specific activities or events, rather than deep emotional closeness or meaningful conversations or time spent together. This is evident from the fact that, almost every time we saw or heard about them being together in Chapter Two, they were engaged in some activity or having fun, only to part ways afterward and return to their respective homes. Even the one time we learned Jungkook was at Taehyung’s place, it wasn’t for intimate, one-on-one time, it was with some of Taehyung’s other friends, and Taehyung mentioned they were just playing games. On multiple occasions, we saw Jungkook hang out with Taehyung and then return home to start a live stream, which shows that he still craved a level of companionship that his previous outings hadn’t fully satisfied. You never just hear that they choose to be together just because….
Taehyung and Jungkook don’t have the continuous need to be together that one would expect from people who truly need each other on a daily basis, as this blogger claims. They meet, have fun, and once the purpose of the hangout is served, they go their separate ways. For instance, Taehyung didn’t feel the need to stay with Jungkook at the ski resort after enjoying the fun; he chose to leave with friends, leaving Jungkook behind. He didn’t feel any obligation to remain with him, as one would expect from a lover or a friend with a deep emotional connection.
Similarly, Jungkook didn’t feel the need to stay by Taehyung’s side after the musical and premiere, even though Taehyung apparently got drunk and fell asleep. A lover wouldn’t leave you alone in such a state, but a friend who was there just for the fun and company would leave without feeling any obligation to stay. Notice how every time you see or hear about them hanging out, it’s always centered around some fun activity and never simply because they wanted to spend time together. They don’t feel the need to stick together unless there’s something they both find fun to do.
This dynamic is very different from that of Jimin and Jungkook. I don’t need to list all the ways they differ, as I’m sure it’s already clear. Jungkook going to Jimin when lonely and bored just to sit there for hours with him doing nothing speaks volumes. Jungkook going to Jimin after a 3 day tiring concert to spend time with him, cook for him and seemingly spending the night with him just to be seen with him again the next day at a restaurant with friends shows the difference. We all know that these guys lived very busy, tedious and fast paced lives where they barely got a chance to spend any alone time together except at night as they were usually together as a group. So in cases like this, one would expect that the two people who are closest and possibly in a romantic relationship will prioritize those alone times together since they always had dozens of staff and cameras shoved in their faces all day with little to no privacy and we saw that the two people who actually did this were Jimin and Jungkook not Taehyung and Jungkook. Jungkook himself coined “all nighter friends” name with Jimin which spoke a lot about how much they spent their nights and quieter moments together.
Taekook share a laid-back, fun, and comfortable dynamic, which often gives Taekookers the impression that they are much closer than they actually are. A prime example would be Taekook at the Harry Styles concert. Anyone watching them together that night would assume they were the best of friends, which in a way they are. However, what people wouldn’t know is that at that very moment, Taehyung didn’t even know Jungkook’s hotel room number. What’s more telling is that, behind the scenes, whenever Jungkook felt the need for company, he repeatedly sought out Jimin, not the one he was seen comfortably hanging out with at the concert.
These moments reveal the complexity of human relationships and how different people fulfill different needs for us. The person you turn to for fun, thrill, and adventure isn’t necessarily the one you seek when your emotional needs arise. And if we go by what Jungkook has said over the years, it’s clear who he shares a deeper emotional connection with and who he has a more laid-back, fun, but less emotionally deep connection with.
I also find it frustrating the way Taekookers have elevated the Hawaii trip into something it wasn’t. That wasn’t Jungkook traveling to fulfill some emotional need for Taehyung. It was Jungkook traveling after receiving an invite to have fun with his friend…the one he clicks with perfectly when it comes to things like this. They were on the same wavelength at the time, enjoying each other’s company in their free time. Emphasis on FREE TIME. They always have fun together, and they share common interests. I’m sure Taekook would turn to each other for fun, thrill, and adventure, but I can bet my bottom dollar that they wouldn’t turn to each other for the deeper emotional stuff. They really never have, and history has proven this.
They didn’t prioritize spending time with each other over anyone else in the solo era. It was simply convenient for them to do so, and so they did. They both had the time to hang out, and they took it. But when we talk about true prioritization, we’re talking about Jimin flying all the way from Paris to spend one day with Jungkook, then heading back to Hawaii the next day. We’re talking about Jungkook choosing to use his limited break to take Jimin to Japan…something Jimin has always wanted. We’re talking about Jungkook, knowing full well that other members were available, yet choosing to spend his quiet peaceful time with Jimin every day, prioritizing him over anyone else. That’s prioritization…not Jungkook flying to Hawaii when he had time and money to have fun with Taehyung. This is something he could have done with any other friend if he had the time or money. Do you think if Mingyu or Eunwoo call Jungkook to join them somewhere fun in ant part of the world Jungkook has access to while he has the time and money he wouldn’t go? He will definitely go. Tae didn’t call Jungkook because he missed him in the way taekookers think. He might have missed his company and known that that is something they both would really enjoy doing since they relate like that and called him but it was definitely not because he missed his boyfriend. If that was the case, his “boyfriend” wouldn’t only have found out at the moment that be was in Hawaii.
Prioritization again comes in when Taehyung gets on planes to support his wooga, or his wooga putting everything else aside to spend time with him before his enlistment, or when he ensures he doesn’t miss important days for them. He never really prioritizes seeing Jungkook on his birthdays, and vice versa. He didn’t care to see Jungkook even for a single day during their 2019 break, choosing to travel with his friends instead even when Jungkook had a birthday yet we had Jimin flying all the way from Paris to see Jungkook for a few hours and head back yet, Taekookers claim they prioritize each other in that way? They don’t.
Two friends meeting up and hanging out when they have the time doesn’t equate to prioritizing each other, nor does it signify deep emotional connection or bond. Yes, they must like and care about each other to hang out multiple times, which we know Taekook do, but if their schedules had been less aligned, they wouldn’t have cared as much, and it wouldn’t have bothered them.
Unlike Taekook, Jimin and Jungkook have a long history of prioritizing each other, keeping constant communication, and staying fully aware of what the other is doing. A few months in a 13+ year friendship doesn’t change that. Real closeness isn’t about how many hangouts or fun activities two people can have, or how many cute pictures they take together, or where they sit during meals. True closeness and a deep emotional bond are about who you want to be with even when there’s nothing to do, who you turn to when you’re going through emotional moments, and who you think of watching when you can’t sleep at 4 a.m. These are subtle things, but they speak volumes.
Closeness is relative, and we can be close to people in different ways. There are ways Jungkook is closer to Taehyung than Jimin, and vice versa, but based on everything Jungkook has said over the years, and how we’ve seen them interact, it’s clear that his emotional connection with Jimin is and has always been much deeper. I guess it’s up for debate who you think he’s closer to. If you think a dynamic based on fun activities, camaraderie and ease is closer than one built on emotional depth and closeness, then I suppose you’d think Taekook are closer.
PS: AYS is still a very sore topic for taekookers. They claim AYS proved enough but if AYS really confirmed that Taekook is real and Jikook isn’t, why do they detest the show so much?
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peachiejeongin · 3 days ago
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ink and thorns part 2 | hyunjin
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part 1
synopsis: hwang hyunjin is the tattoo artist you cannot stand for the life of you, always acting so smug, so horrendous, and always attempting to flirt with you. you hate him, but what happens when you end up in his arms after a traumatic night?
pairing: tattoo artist!hyunjin x fem!reader
genre: enemies to lovers, angst, smut, fluff
warnings: mature & sexually explicit content (18+ recommended), lower case letters intended, swearing, pet names (sweetheart, princess, etc.), mentions of anxiety, cheating (not hyunjin or reader), mentions of losing a parent
nsfw warnings: dom!hyunjin, sub!reader, making out, marking, oral (f!receiving), fingering, praise, light degradation, begging, unprotective penetrative sex (do not), creampie, aftercare
wc: 15.4k
notice: hello, my darlings! tumblr hates me, so here is part 2 of ink and thorns! make sure to check out part 1 before reading this one, and enjoy the longest story i have ever written :,)
divider by: @cafekitsune
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it had been three days since the kiss. three days since you had started to replay the moment over and over in your head like a song you could not escape.
the feel of hyunjin's lips against yours, the way his hand cupped the back of your neck, the way he was so gentle yet purposeful in his actions—it all lingered in your mind, no matter how hard you tried to rid yourself of the thoughts. 
you had ignored the text he had sent you the night after, heart hammering as you read the words:
fuckass: 'come to the shop after close. we need to talk about what happened.'
the message sat unanswered in your notifications for days on end, just staring back at you like a challenge. every time you thought about replying, doubt crept in, whispering all the reasons as to why you should not answer. you told yourself you had made the right choice in pulling away from him, that it was a mistake, a moment of weakness per se. letting go was the only way to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
right?
but then there were the nights when the memory of his eyes, soft and full of something you were terrified to admit, kept you awake. during the daytime, you sat hazed at work, unable to stop wondering about him—how he was doing, if he missed you, and most importantly, if he was thinking about the kiss just like you were.
the weight of uncertainty fell upon your shoulders, and it pushed you to the point where you found yourself standing outside of prism ink well after the moon had settled into the sky. the feeling had been eating away at you, gnawing at your gut.
you had to do something about it.
the lights were still on, though the neon sign perched on the corner of the indoor window seal flickered 'closed' in bright red letters. through the glass, you could see hyunjin bent over his sketchbook at the counter, his head resting in his hand. suddenly, the memories flooded over you once more, and doubt reached your limbs as you reached for the door handle. part of you wanted to turn around, to leave before he noticed anyone was there; however, the other part, which had brought you here in the first place, won out.
you pushed the door open, the soft jingle of the bell breaking through the quiet; you were surprised it was unlocked to begin with. hyunjin's head snapped up, surprise flashing across his face before it shifted into unreadability.
"y/n?" he called quietly, setting down his pencil. “what are you doing here?”
"i...i saw the light on." you hovered by the door, unsure of whether or not to approach him. he nodded, his gaze steady as he gestured towards the leather chair at his station.
"come sit. please. i want to talk to you."
you swallowed hard, feeling reluctant but obeying nevertheless. you crossed the room and sank into the chair. hyunjin did not move right away, watching you with an intensity that made your skin prickle.
"where have you been?" he asked finally; his voice was low, deeper than usual, but nowhere near accusing. "why didn't you text back?"
"i didn't know what to say." you looked down fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve.
"i wish you would have said something." hyunjin sighed, running a hand through his buzzed follicles of blonde hair.
"what would it have changed?" you questioned, your voice more frustrated than you intended.
"everything," he retorted, leaning forward. "or maybe nothing. i don't know, but at least i wouldn't be sitting here wondering how you really felt about the other night."
you flinched at the honesty in his words, your throat tightening.
"i don't know, hyunjin," you admitted, your voice barely rising above a whisper. "i don't know what i feel."
hyunjin watched you for a moment, his expression undeterminable. then he stood, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the counter in front of you.
"i understand," he said softly. "if i’m being completely honest, i don’t know how i feel either, but it doesn’t mean i don’t want to…navigate, i guess, these feelings. together."
you looked up at him, your heart pounding through your ribcage.
"why?"
"why what?"
"why do you want to? and why do you care so much?"
"because that night," hyunjin began, “that kiss awakened something in me.” hyunjin's lips curved into a faint smirk, but his eyes stayed serious. his words knocked the air out of your lungs, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him.
“don’t-”
“don’t what? call it what it is? we can’t keep pretending like it didn’t happen, y/n. whether you want to admit it or not, we kissed. we fucking kissed. and like i said, we need to talk about it. we need to talk about us.”
"us? what us are you referring to exactly? you barely know me." you mirrored his words from the ramen restaurant, trembling as you spoke.
"maybe i don't," he replied, "but i know i want to."
the sincerity in his voice made your chest ache, but your mind began to wander to other subjects at hand. you looked at hyunjin, diverging from the matter at hand.
"why are you even here, hyunjin? like, at the studio after close? it doesn’t make sense.” 
hyunjin hesitated at the question, his gaze dropping to the floor. "i…i’ve been staying late every night. i was hoping there was some chance you would see my text and show up, and well, here we are."
hyunjin ended the confession with a dry laugh, but the vulnerability in his admission sent a wave of warmth and guilt crashing over you.
"i’m sorry,” you finally apologized after a few moments of silence. “i didn't mean to hurt you," you told him, your fingers twisting together in your lap.
"i know," he responded, looking at you once more. "but you did, because you matter to me, whether you want to accept that or not." the weight of his words settled over you, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to believe them. to believe him.
believing him, however, was fucking scary.
"i don't know how to do this," you confessed, your manner cracking as you felt a deep pit rest in your gut. "i don't know if i can let somebody care about me on that level after…what happened last time. i don't want to get hurt again."
for the first time that night, hyunjin approached you, crouching in front of you so that you were eye level.
"let's get a couple things out of the way," he said gently. "first, i have absolutely no intention of hurting you. i'm not your ex, and i don't want to be. second, i can show you how to be loved. properly. we don't have to rush into things. we can take it one step at a time. no pressure, no expectations, no secrets. just me and you." 
tears stung your eyes, but you blinked them away, nodding slowly at his words. hyunjin reached for your hand, his touch warm and steady. his fingers intertwined with yours, his thumb brushing softly over your knuckles. the warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you could not help but notice the closeness of his actions.
the air between you felt charged, heavy with an energy that neither of you dared to acknowledge aloud. his eyes scanned yours, flicking down to your lips and back again, as thought he was weighing a decision.
"can i," he started, almost whispering. "can i kiss you again?"
you did not answer with words; instead, you leaned in, closing the distance. the moment your lips met, it was as if the world melted away. the kiss was not like the first one. it was not hesitant, unsure, or slow; it was urgent, almost desperate, as if both of you had been waiting for this since the first time your lips had locked together.
hyunjin's free hand cupped your jaw, his thumb tracing the edge of your cheek as he deepened the kiss. you tilted your head, allowing him to press closer, his breath warm against your skin. your hands found their way to his shoulders, the firm muscle beneath the hoodie he was wearing grounding you as you let yourself fall into the moment. his touch was careful, but there was a hunger beneath it that made your pulse race.
when his lips left yours to trail along your jaw, you gasped softly, your fingers gripping the fabric of his hoodie tightly. he chuckled against your skin, the sound low and satisfied, before moving to press a kiss just below your ear.
"hyun," you breathed, your voice barely audible.
"hmm?" he hummed, his lips ghosting over the upper region of your neck, just underneath your earlobe. "words, princess."
you did not know what you were going to say, but the way his hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer, made words impossible either way. the chair beneath you creaked slightly as you shifted, and hyunjin froze for a moment, his forehead resting against your shoulder as he let out a soft giggle.
"not here," he murmured, his voice thick with amusement.
"excuse me?" you asked, your voice dazed as you tried to process the sudden halt. hyunjin pulled back just enough to look at you, his lips curving into a teasing smile.
"i don't want to have to clean up the chair," he said, his tone light but his eyes still heavy with lingering heat. "plus, it's kind of weird tattooing other clients on a chair where you've fucked your girl." the comment snapped you out of your haze, and you swatted at his chest, your cheeks burning.
"first of all, you're unbelievable," you began, your cheeks burning with lingering anticipation. "second of all, your girl?"
"firstly," he started, mirroring your words, "you're the one who showed up after hours."
"you're the one who kissed me!"
"and you kissed me back," he replied smugly, pressing his pointer finger to your nose briefly to accentuate his words, "which leads me to point numero dos: friends don't make out in a tattoo parlor after hours. so, yes. my girl."
you could not argue with either of his points, so you just glared at him, though the corner of your mouth betrayed you by twitching upwards. hyunjin's expression softened, the teasing glint in his eyes giving way to something more tender.
"i'm serious, though," he reaffirmed. "i don't want to rush you or this…interesting little relationship we have."
you studied him, your chest tightening at his sincerity.
"me neither." he leaned in to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead.
"good."
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the days following that night felt different; the air between you and hyunjin had blossomed into an unexpected relationship; once the man you scrunched your nose in disgust at, hyunjin had morphed into the person you craved to be around. a subtle but growing trust had formed that made everything seem lighter.
you found yourself visiting the shop more often, lingering over the sketches hyunjin worked on, sometimes just talking and sometimes sitting in comfortable silence. you also began visiting each other more, whether it was just for a quick coffee run or an entire movie night together; spending time with him just felt right. over time, you had felt a certain fondness bloom in your heart for him; he was a beautiful person, inside and out, and you felt as if you could truly trust him.
which, in your mind, was absolutely terrifying.
one afternoon, you were sitting across from hyunjin at his work-desk, watching as he sketched; his pencil moved fluidly over the paper, his talent always surprising you. he did not have a client at the time, nor did he have one scheduled for a while, but he was still intensely absorbed into his work, almost seeming unreachable due to his concentration.
"i've been thinking," you said suddenly, breaking the silence.
"about what, sweetheart?" he paused, looking up from his paper with his eyebrows raised, his pencil still firmly placed upon the sketch.
"i want you to design my next tattoo."
he tilted his head slightly, his gaze studying you as if you were joking.
"okay..." he glanced at the designs pinned to the wall behind him, then back at you. "whatcha got in mind?" you hesitated to answer, the pressure of your decision pressing on your chest.
"i want something full," you explained. "another floral piece. a sleeve, to be more specific."
hyunjin's eyes lit up at the challenge, but he did not speak right away, as though he was contemplating your request.
"i want you to have full creative freedom," you continued, your voice sure of what you wanted. "i want you to design something you think would fit me."
hyunjin studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. then, he smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that made your chest tighten with undeniable love.
"i won't disappoint you then, princess," he replied, his tone steady.
"good," you remarked, feeling a strange weight lift off of your shoulders. "take your time. i want to be sure about it." hyunjin nodded, his fingers drumming against the side of his desk as he processed your words. then, with a small grin, he responded.
"i've got an idea already. i'll start working on it tonight. trust me."
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in a matter of a week or so, hyunjin sent over the final sketch. when you opened the message, you could not help but gasp. 
the design was absolutely breathtaking. flowers of every kind, from roses to peonies and, of course, a daisy as the centerpiece, wrapped around the sketch paper in a fluid, graceful swirl. the shading was delicate, the lines bold yet soft, with each bloom seeming to tell its own story.
"you really did it," you whispered, your fingers tracing the image on your screen.
fuckass<3: 'you like it?" you: 'i love it."
you took a few moments before typing out another message to him.
you: 'come over so we can talk about it?'
the reply came faster than expected.
fuckass<3: 'be there in half an hour, sweetheart.'
you smiled at the response, a small sense of relief flooding through you. the next thirty minutes passed in a blur of excitement until you heard a soft knock at your door. you opened it to find hyunjin standing there, a familiar, small smile on his face.
"hey," he greeted, stepping inside. "i know i’m a little late. i’m honestly surprised you didn’t text me when the clock hit thirty-one minutes."
"didn't think much of it," you replied, giggling nervously. "didn't wanna bother you if you were still at work either."
"bother me?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes as he kicked off his shoes. "you? never."
you chuckled at the comment, and how his tone was somehow both sarcastic and genuine, as you led him to the living room, where you had cleared a spot on the coffee table for the sketch he had sent. the piece was printed out now, laid flat and looking more impressive than it did on your phone.
"i want to make sure this is exactly what i want," you admitted, sitting down on the couch, your eyes fixated on the paper. "i absolutely love it, don't get me wrong. i just know i'm asking for a lot, and that there's a lot of meaning behind getting an entire sleeve. i just want to be sure i'm not getting it for the sake of getting it."
hyunjin sat down next to you, his gaze moving from the tattoo to you. his expression softened, the teasing edge gone and replaced with understanding. he rested a gentle hand on your thigh, looking at you as he spoke.
"you don't have to get it, y'know," he responded firmly yet reassuringly. "i won't be offended. plus, i can always change it if you want me to."
"no," you shook your head, feeling the moment settle into your gut. "i do want it. it's just..."
"just what?" he prompted, his voice soothing as he moved his hand from your thigh to your upper back.
"i trust you a lot with this," you stated, your voice dropping to a whisper, "and doing so is…well, it’s kind of a big deal for me."
hyunjin did not say anything at first. he just let the silence sit, absorbing your words before his free hand found its way to yours. his fingers brushed against yours, a gentle touch that felt comforting.
"you trust me?" he asked quietly, a shake trembling in his words.
"yes," you responded without hesitation. "i really like you hyunjin...if that wasn't already obvious."
"no, not at all," he teased. "i have girls kiss me after hours in the shop all the time, and they feel absolutely nothing." he ended his sarcasm with a smirk, causing you to roll your eyes.
"this is why i didn't say anything," you sing-songedly replied, looking away from his gaze. "but, yes. i do trust you."
the air suddenly felt thick with unspoken tension. hyunjin turned fully toward you, sneaking a finger under your jaw in order to turn your head back towards him.
"you don't know how much that means to me," he whispered as his lips quivered into a small, knowing smile. without warning, he leaned a little closer, his breath ghosting over your cheek as he leaned into the crook of your neck. "you make me happy, y'know that?"
your heart raced, and your pulse quickened in response to his closeness, his words stirring something intense inside of you.
"i do?" you asked, your voice breathless, betraying the casualness you were trying to maintain.
"absolutely," he quietly murmured. his hand moved, brushing over the back of your neck, his fingers gently threading through your hair. the touch was light, almost tender, but there was a lust behind it that made your breathing hitch.
you glanced up at him, your chest rising and falling with each shaky breath, unsure of where this was leading but not wanting to stop it.
"hyun," you mumbled, almost in the audibility of a whine.
"yes, princess?" he removed his head from your neck and somehow leaned in even closer, his lips just a hair from yours.
"i uh..." you stuttered as you tried to speak, but hyunjin cut you off, finally closing the space in between the two of you as your lips pressed against each other's. his hand moved to cup your jaw as his tongue moved against yours, deliberate, erotic, and entirely unexpected.
your heart skipped a beat when he pushed you down, hovering over you on the couch. he pressed his body into yours by instinct, and you let out the softest of moans at the contact.
"not here," you whined, mirroring his words from just nights ago. "too uncomfortable."
"hmm," hyunjin hummed, his lips parting from yours as his face hovered mere inches away from yours. "show me to your bedroom then, sweetheart."
he swiftly climbed off of you and you snatched his hand in yours, running to the end of the right-side hallway in your home. as soon as you made it in, hyunjin took you in his arms, tossing you carefully backwards onto your comfortable, queen-sized bed. he mounted over top of you once again, his knee slotting in between your legs and pressing right where you needed him, eliciting another soft whimper from your end.
"so needy, sweetheart," he mumbled, his lips dipping down to your neck as he lightly kissed the skin. "barely done anything, and look at ya."
"shut up," you mumbled, becoming shy from the intensity of his stare.
"how about you make me? hm?"
with that, you caught him in another kiss, your hands grasping either side of his face and occasionally running through the blonde stubs of hair on his head.
"lift up your arms for me," he mumbled against your lips. "this shirt's not doing either of us any good." you obliged without hesitation and raised your arms above your head; hyunjin swiftly pulled your black, loosely-fitted t-shirt over your head and threw it somewhere on your bedroom floor, opting to worry about the mess later.
"you are so fucking beautiful, y'know that?" hyunjin did not alott time for a response before delving into the crook of your neck and kissing it lightly. he hummed against the column as he began to suck, bite, and kiss every exposed area of skin he could. it did not take long for him to find the sensitive spot below your ear once more, and he paid close attention to the spot, marking it in a darker shade of purple than the other bruises he had left.
"hyunnie, o-oh my gosh," you moaned out, desperate to have his mouth attached to other, more sensitive areas. he smirked against your neck, seemingly able to read your mind as he started to move lower. he left a light trail of kisses from your now assaulted neck, and down your chest and stomach until he reached your waistline, just above the hem of your jeans.
"you okay with taking this further?" hyunjin questioned, looking up at you with glossy eyes. you nodded desperately in response, and hyunjin made quick work of the button on your jeans, undoing it and the zipper before pulling down your pants and underwear. in true hyunjin fashion, his movements were not swift in the slightest; they were agonizingly slow and teasing, seeming as if he was trying to let his personality shine through in the moment.
you squirmed due to the unhurried movements, trying to wiggle your pants off yourself; this caused hyunjin to let out an amused giggle.
"relax, sweetheart." hyunjin teased. "we have all night." he finally snaked off the garments and threw them on the floor along with your shirt.
"fuck," was all he could say as he took the sight of you in. you were glistening, for lack of a better term; hyunjin's words, his marks, and everything in between that had happened moments prior had already caused a fair amount of arousal to pool in your core. absentmindedly, he ran a cool finger through your folds, coating the tip with your slick and using it to spread the arousal all over your pussy. 
"so wet already," hyunjin breathed out as he continued his tantalizing movements. "need some help with that, princess?"
"please!" you yelped out, desperate for some sort of sensation to ease the throbbing lust. 
your reactions only made hyunjin's ferality grow, and he wasted no time in getting to work on your pleasure. he first snagged the hem of his hoodie, shrugging it off of his shoulders and throwing it aside. he got to work shortly after, focusing first on your clit and alternating between licking and sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves, allowing his tongue to drag itself a bit lower down your core each time. 
"you taste so sweet," he moaned. "better than i ever imagined you to." at his words, you let out a rough sigh blended between pleasure and relief, instinctively moving a hand up to cover your face from meekness.
"mm-mm," hyunjin hummed against you, gently moving the hiding arm down as he made intense, passionate eye contact with you. "wanna see you when i make you feel good."
hyunjin's vibrations against you sent a course of jolts through your body, causing your moans to pick up in pitch and pace. with the acceleration of your moans came the quickening of hyunjin's movements, as he gained a moderate rhythm to his movements against you. it was not long before a knot began to tighten in your stomach.
as if he knew your body's every signal, hyunjin's lips pulled away from your clit; before you could protest, you felt something chilled prodding at your entrance, causing you to flicker your gaze downwards through your entranced haze.
hyunjin slipped his middle finger through your entrance with ease, pumping the singular digit slowly but thoroughly in and out of you; occasionally, he curled it in order to brush against your g-spot. you watched the tattoos shift on his body as he worked, everything from hearts to flowers to symbols moving in perfect rhythm with his fingers. you felt a string of moans catch in your throat, too nervous to let them go in fear that the neighbors or an unexpected guest would hear.
"don't hold back," hyunjin commanded, never once breaking eye contact with you. "moan for me baby. let me hear those pretty noises."
as if to add emphasis to his demand, hyunjin inserted his ring-finger inside of you; with that, any embarrassment and hesitation caught in your body vanquished. every noise held within you tumbled out of your lips in broken whines, moans, and whimpers. your newfound confidence in your noises made hyunjin's arousal peak, and he quickened his pace, pumping in and out of you in accelerated sync.
"good fucking girl," he praised, moving his thumb up to brush against your clit, both motions feeling inhumanely paced as they synchronized.
"close," you whimpered out, your thighs trembling ever so slightly as the knot in your stomach became too much to bear.
"yeah? you wanna cum?" hyunjin asked in between languid movements of his fingers. "then beg for it."
"h-huh?" the words caught you entirely off guard, and you felt your cheeks heat up at hyunjin's command.
"what? you didn't think your first time with me was going to be easy, did you, sweetheart?" hyunjin sarcastically cooed, slowing his fingers down. "after the way you treated me when you first started coming to me for tats, i think i deserve a little vengeance."
"seriously?" you whined. "i thought that was behind us!"
"never assume, princess," his low voice answered, the dominance of it only turning you on further. "now, beg to cum or i'm the only one that gets to feel anything tonight."
you bit your lips in response, closing your eyes tightly from embarrassment.
"please..."
"please what, sweetheart?"
"please let me cum! please, please! i'm sorry for treating you like an ass! please let me cum, hyunnie, please!"
"attagirl. let go, princess."
hyunjin took your pleads as encouragement, swiftening his movements with ever 'please' as his fingers rapidly brushed against your g-spot. moans filled every corner of the room as you finally came undone. your hips stuttered, accidently pressing themselves into hyunjin's face as your fingers held onto hyunjin's shoulders to brace yourself. your arousal covered hyunjin’s fingers as he leisurely removed them, chuckling at the remnants still spilling out of you.
"you did so well for me, pretty," hyunjin breathed out, licking his fingers clean of your slick. "so, so sweet," he groaned as he lavished in the taste. you replied by sitting up, kissing hyunjin with much more hunger than you had previously. his hands found the supple skin of your waist, massaging it lightly as he kissed you.
you moved your hands down his torso, finally having time to drink the sight of him in. he was lean, fit, and toned, each muscle of his glimmering under the soft light in your bedroom. you traced each curve of his body, relishing in the way he shivered under your touch. your fingers sculpted over his abs before reaching the hem of his joggers, hooking under the waistband as you looked at him for approval.
"go for it, princess," hyunjin responded to your doe-gaze; with his help, you shimmied his pants and boxers down, allowing his cock to spring free from its prior entrapment. before you could verbalize your astoundment over his lengthy cock, hyunjin manhandled you into a new position to where he was over top of you once more.
"having fun?" he cheekily asked, eliciting a nervous giggle from you.
"loads," you genuinely replied.
"good," he answered. "now, spread those legs for me so the fun can continue."
you shifted your position to where you were doing just that, wrapping your legs around his middle and giving him just enough access to your entrance. hyunjin smirked, his gaze lustfully piercing as he used his hand to take your jaw in his grip.
"here's what's gonna happen," hyunjin lowly growled. "you're going to keep those pretty eyes on me while i fuck you, and you're going to be as loud as you can. make sense?" you nodded, only feening for his touch.
hyunjin smirked, lining himself up with your entrance and getting verbal confirmation that you were ready before slowly pushing himself inside of you. the stretch you felt was delicious, the pain of it quickly dissipating as you lost yourself in the fullness of the feeling. hyunjin was still for a moment, giving you time to adjust to his size. you gave him the go-ahead, and he slowly began to drag his length out of you before slightly thrusting back in.
"holy shit," hyunjin groaned out, developing a pace to his thrusts. "you're so warm. so tight. feels so good, sweetheart."
a plethora of noises filled the air as hyunjin sped up ever-so-slightly, containing moans, praises, and whimpers as you hazed from the pleasure. you felt tears well up in your eyes both from the intensity and from the sheer ecstasy of the moment.
"awe," hyunjin cooed as he used a finger to trace your jawline. "you're crying over my cock. how adorable."
"s-shut up!" you whimpered, bucking your hips up to meet his.
"as you wish, your majesty."
hyunjin's hips swiftened moreso, and your hips began a rhythm against his. with the quickened pace, it was not long until your second orgasm crept up on you. hyunjin began to stutter in his movements slightly, desperately determined to make you both finish.
"'m close," he repeated several times over, his fingers digging into your shoulders.
"me too," you responded in the tone of a whine. "j-just like that, hyunnie, keep going."
he thrusted faster than he had ever managed to before, his nails leaving slight indents on your upper body as his own climax snuck up on him.
"where do you want me to cum, sweetheart?" he inquired; in response, you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, pulling him in to signal that you wanted him to finish inside of you. the effort elicited a teasing chuckle from hyunjin as he neared his release.
you came undone first, your second orgasm much more intense than the shockwaves of the first. you rolled your eyes back as you shook against hyunjin's body, creaming all over his length. the sight alone was enough to bring hyunjin to his finish, and he let himself go, releasing his cum inside of you with a loud, guttural groan.
as both of you came down from the high of the moment, hyunjin let himself down slowly, laying on top of you as he let out a sigh of relief.
"you okay?" he asked quietly, wrapping his tattooed arms tightly around your middle.
"mhm," you hummed in the crook of his neck. "felt so good."
your incoherent, dazed mumbling allowed hyunjin to laugh; he retracted from your embrace, slowly pulling out of you as he stood up. he picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the bathroom.
"let's get you cleaned up, pretty girl."
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the low hum of the tattoo machine filled the room, its light buzz mingling with the soft rock music playing inside of the parlor. the scent of antiseptic and ink hung in the air, but it was much more familiar than the first time you had stepped through the door.
you sat in hyunjin's chair, the final moments of your floral sleeve session underway. after countless days of endless outlining, shading, and coloring, hyunjin had declared he would be finishing the piece that very day. as such, you had arrived that morning with him as he opened the shop, as he told you it was going to be a long, excruciating session. hours upon hours had passed of slow, methodical work, with each remaining petal, leaf, and vine etched with care and precision. each design symbolized, to you, an act of trust and healing.
the piece sprawled gracefully along your arm, cascading from your shoulder to your wrist like a garden in full bloom. roses, lilies, and the daisy in the center, were carefully placed to symbolize the trials of your life, and furthermore the growth of a new person.
your boyfriend worked in silence, his brows furrowed in concentration, the light catching the sharp line of his jaw. his buzzed hair had grown slightly, softening his look but keeping the familiar intensity of his features. his free hand intertwined with yours, your thumb rubbing over the ink on his knuckles for comfort.
you watched him, a small smile tugging at your lips as you traced the lines of his face with your eyes. it was hard to believe how much the two of you had changed, and how much had changed between you, in such a short time.
"all done," hyunjin finally said, switching off the machine and leaning back to admire both his work and you. he reached for a mirror, angling it just over the tattoo so you could properly look at it. you took a deep breath, holding it up to examine the completed sleeve. the colors were vibrant, each floral design leaping off your skin with intricate detail. "what do you think?"
"it's beautiful," you whispered thickly with emotion. "it's so perfect."
"it's you." hyunjin smiled, his cocky grin replaced with a beam of sincerity. "it's your beauty mixed with everything you've been through. i knew this was going to symbolize you to a tee."
your chest tightened at his words, the genuineness in his voice making your heart swell. you set the mirror down and turned to him, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of everything he had done for you; not just the tattoo, but the way he had been your rock, supported you, even when you had tried to push him away.
"thank you," you told him, your voice trembling slightly. "for everything."
"you don't have to thank me, sweetheart." hyunjin's gaze softened, and he reached out to softly cup your cheek. "think of this as my way of helping you see what i see: a strong, gorgeous flower that can stand any test of time."
your breath caught at his words, and before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned forward and kissed him. it was steady, sure, and appreciation you could not put into words. hyunjin kissed you back with equal gentleness, his hand cradling your face as he pulled you closer. when you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested against each other, and you could not help but smile.
"y’know, i think i'm falling for you, fuckass," you giggled out.
"i've been falling for you," hyunjin chuckled as he brushed a thumb over your cheek. "you’re mine, and i'm yours. no getting rid of me now."
you laughed, the sound light and carefree, and leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"i think i can live with that."
“just don’t think that being my girlfriend gets you out of paying.”
“oh, you!” you slapped at hyunjin’s chest, immediately wincing from the ever-present tenderness of your freshly-inked arm.
“mhm,” hyunjin smirked. “that’s what you get for bullying me.”
as you left the tattoo shop that evening, your new tattoo carefully protected after earlier’s wince, you could not help but glance at hyunjin, who was walking beside you with his hand resting on your lower back. the streetlights bathed everything in a golden glow, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful about the future. whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew you had hyunjin by your side as you faced them.
your story was just beginning, and you could not wait to see where it would take you.
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