#i think the others may be sick? which... valid. please call off if you're sick.

[tenebriism]

// Gets to work. The entire team scheduled with me has called off. Lovely.

However, I did get a 10/10 recognition score from a guest, and received a certificate/money, so that lightened the blow a bit.

[houkusu]

You know what, you need to leave me the fuck alone. None of this shit had anything to do with you and you're just sheeping like you always fucking do. I'm sick and fucking tired of you motherfuckers LYING about me. Fuck off. You don't know a GODDAMN thing about me. None of you motherfuckers know ANYTHING about what you claim you know. I am seriously fucking done. You want to VILLAINIZE me, then fine. I'll be your fucking villain then. STALKER. All the fuck you bitches do is STALK people.

brother you're 35 years old. why are you harassing 16 year olds on tumblr dot com.

"sheeping" is a wild take, this callout exists for a reason and people need to be aware of the kind of person they're talking to. talking to you personally does nothing for anyone because accountability is refused, as seen in the callout. do you think people just don't read callouts? do you think callouts just exist to be in a void? you are a predator. you are a bad person. you will be held accountable, without fail, for being a predator. no one is lying about you. you are an abuser and a predator.

CALLOUT LINK: here's a callout about yuelongfx / ruby / ghost / lynx / mary to anyone who needs to read about yuelongfx's gaslighting, sui baiting, minor abuse and (UPDATE) P*DOPHILIA in the form of making advances at a minor. the beginning of this callout is a personal account and it spirals down into the minor abuse later on. some known accounts: haithussy (changed to scarletethereal), unendingchaos, etherealfated, frostretainer, hoyoversed, douzheng, rubesth

please be careful of who you interact with, especially if you are under 18. i've called out known predators before and i will continue to do so. as some of you may remember the 100+ page callout on myers: this person who has sent this ask, whatever name you know them by, is very much of the same ilk - complete with attempting to rebrand to outrun their very current history of abuse.

yuelongfx has:

- sided with and defended ryan haywood, (CLICK FOR PROOF) a child predator who had text proof of having interacted inappropriately with minors that got him fired from his job - defended her "right" to harass minors by claiming it's free speech - interacted with minors under the guise of "not knowing they were minors" (when it is clearly visible in the rules of the minors' blogs), specifically under aliases where her abuse trail cannot follow, which i most recently called out below. - said her attraction to a child actor as an adult is okay and valid - made romantic advances at a minor then had a meltdown when rejected, resulting in the minor becoming ostracized

UPDATE: SHE HAS CONTACTED THIS MINOR AGAIN and claimed this is all lies, pressuring the minor to unblock her. Despite this callout having been up for a while now, it was the warning to the MINOR that caused this large reaction on her own blogs. just a poignant highlight from the classy yuelongfx on alt haithussy (now scarletethereal), which is stated in the callout to be yuelongfx:

this is all completely glazing over the abuse of other adults and past friends. again. you are 35 years old. you are prolific for this. if i'm a sheep for telling a literal teenager that's what you are, then baaa loser.

[queerchoicesblog]

A Few Words On Pride Month 2020

So, pride month has come at last. No matter how crazy it sounds right now as we're experiencing first-hand one of those events that will end up in history handbooks one day.

I'll be honest, it's quite difficult for me to talk about it now when everything that is not Mrs Rhona releted seems so well less relevant than it was before. But I want to share a few words that most likely nobody will read but I'll let them flow anyway.

I watch that video every single year during pride month. It's from a series I liked quite a lot back then, it's called Sense8. The character speaking is a trans woman, an lgbtq+ hacktivist, reminiscing her disastrous relationship with her transphobic mother yet finding strength in her own sorrow. There is a passage I love:

Today I'm marching to remember that I'm not just a me

But I'm also a we

And we march with pride

These words resonate with me: they summarise perfectly the deep empathy and acceptance that I feel should make us stick together. Both inside the lgbtqa+ community and as human beings: "I am a human being, and thus nothing human is alien to me". I'm quoting by heart a Latin playwright named Terentius (Terence in English, I guess?) so forgive me if I got something wrong but what I mean is...we should all care about each other because no matter our differences, our sexuality or color of skin or class, we are human. We are brothers and sisters: I'm an only child but I believe that the definition of a healthy family is one where people overcome differences that don't truly matter in the end, they don't define us as worthy or unworthy of love and respect which should always be given to another human being.

Unless there are valid reasons not to.

As the latest happenings in the world have shown, a hard truth we all know has been reinforced: we live in a cruel, unfair world where, as Nomi said, "hating isn't a sin on that list and neither is shame". A world where people get hurt or killed for reasons which can be hardly called a motive for violence: not being white, not being rich enough, being different, holding a hand or kissing a person of the same sex in the street.

We may comfort ourselves saying these fears were past fears, last century or even Victorian age fears but no, they're still out there. And we can't turn a blind eye.

The current pandemic added new ones, making our lives even more miserable. Speaking of the lgbtqa+ community, I think I can say the social distancing is hitting even harder. Does anybody feel lonelier now? I rise my hand, I do. I'm not referring to the fact that pride parades are cancelled (because we all know there is a freaking valid reason atm), but getting in touch with other people is way harder now. In my personal experience, getting in touch with fellow lgbtqa+ folks was rare even before the pandemic, now it's hella tough. In the street we hide our faces behind masks and don't have the same careless attitude we used to display. Shaking hands and even the lightest touch or proximity are not allowed under the new restrictions: a few weeks ago, over here a couple was charged for hugging each other in the street. How sad and dystopic are these times we live in...

Virtual meetings can help but they're not like in person meetings: the warmth of personal interaction is simply not there. We try but it's not there. Couples are separeted by lockdown rules and so are some families. Lgbtqa+ hotlines are a saving grace and I cannot stress enough how important they are and how anyone struggling with their mental health or literally anything concerning themselves, their gender and sexuality should feel free to contact those volunteers who are a blessing restoring a little faith in humanity.

My thoughts are for those of us who got stuck quarantining with homophobic/biphobic/transphobic etc parents or roommates, and those stuck in abusive contexts. Yes, even relationships because - I know I'll be super unpopular saying this but we can't lie especially to the minor or vulnerable ones- lgbtqa+ relationships can be abusive and toxic too. As I said, we're human and I am sick and tired of the honeyed sunshine rhetoric of lgbtqa+ people and love as an ever right and righteous safe haven. It is a safe haven for us to some extent but we must acknowledge there are problematic issues in our community. We have to be honest with each other especially for the sake not only of each other but for the vulnerable ones and the young. Like criticising or reporting abusers, predators, rapists and so on don't make us all filthy creatures who will burn on a stake for our abominable sins. It just makes us responsible and looking out for each other.

We spend so long dreaming of finding someone of the same sex to be with that when someone shows us any sign of affection our feelings for them grow fast, even when red flags or abuse enter our lives. We stay because we're hungry for love and crave what straighties seem to get so easily: love, acceptance, reciprocity. To the young and everyone who needs to hear this I wanna say: it doesn't have to be like that. Don't ever settle for cheap love only because you feel you will lose your only chance to be loved. There are good people out there too and you deserve one of them at your side. You will find them, your paths will cross: just be patient and never ever forget the importance of respect and consent.

To all those experiencing anything like the relationships or toxicity I mentioned, who feel silenced by the sunshine rhetoric, I say: you are not alone, stay strong and you did nothing wrong, others did and I'm sorry you're going through this cause you don't deserve it.

I share a similar shutout to those struggling with mental and/or physical disorders. If you ever felt pretty much invisible, you're not. I see you, many others see you and we're all rooting for you. You're stronger than you think and you're beautiful.

The not-as-unfortunate-as-the abovementioned but still quite forlorn are the star crossed lovers meeting that special someone in a bad time. Quarantine will see the blossoming of some romances but also takes no prisoners, blowing off others. They don't vanish though, in most cases they turn into those impossible loves and what if we love so much in the movies and hate in real life. I wish I could lay a blanket or pull into a tight hug all those going through this. Your pain is not irrelevant even if there are worst things in the world right now, our souls hurt for things like that. I hold your shaking hand wherever you are as you stare blankly at your phone, waiting for a message or a call that will never come, or you reminisce, listening to a romantic playlist you still have saved on your device. Your suffering is my suffering.

On a brighter side, cause I don't wanna be a complete downer, the luckiest ones among us are blessed with love and I can't be any happier for you, whoever you are. I can picture the one day a few years from now when I will be talking to someone and they will share their story saying how they met the love of their life during the pandemic. How it wasn't easy at first because of all the uncertainty and fears but they kept trying and it all started with a social distancing date at a park or via Zoom. You lucky ones, cherish that and never take what you have for granted: the love you feel and that special someone is showing you is a balsam in hard times. Please cherish it dearly and never stop loving: one day you'll warm these old bones and lonely heart if we ever get the chance to cross path.

Actually I don't have any more wisdom to share, granted what I wrote can be called wisdom, nor giveaway. I considered doing a lgbtqa+ one in honor of the pride month but I feel nobody would be interested. Or at least not by me and I fully agree: writing is getting hard and I feel like I risk of ruining everything I dedicate myself to, as I usually do in my life. I'll follow the tips of a few anons (I think?) and devote this month to educate myself over aspects, nuances or realities I am not fully familiar with: so I'll watch Pose and Sex Education. Hopefully I'll learn something new that might make me a better human being.

Feel free to share further advice: books, articles, movies, series, documentaries...you name it! Drop a message or an ask and I'll make what I'm starting now a lasting project!

That is my advice: if you're stuck inside with nothing much to do this month, find something that might enrich you, even a little thing, and go for it.

As well as reminding yourself the usual stuff: you are not wrong nor unlovable, you're not offensive or dirty for being attracted to your same sex or both or none. Not to quote Lady Gaga, but it's truly is that simple: you are born and beautiful this way.

Stay safe and stay strong, my darlings 🏳️‍🌈

Love,

E.

[punkscowardschampions]

Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: [Ready for a flimsy excuse to talk lmao] ihatemyguts: Question, would Lauren actually be 👍 or 👎 if I turn up to her stream? ihatemyguts: Couldn't tell inandout: ecstatic inandout: her 👚👕👖🧦 could come off inandout: it's hard to tell if she's joking ihatemyguts: I will 🏃 to 🧼 my 👀 ihatemyguts: and time my tip really well before that potential eventuality inandout: smart move inandout: people pleasing ihatemyguts: She was nice, funny ihatemyguts: no 💩 nosing but yeah, I'm not in a position to be picky inandout: she's good at the "older sister away at uni partying but still there for you" role ihatemyguts: do you have a real one? inandout: I've got a brother, he's older than her and less of a party animal ihatemyguts: Mine too ihatemyguts: he's not as old as her but first date @ 18 isn't far off the vibe inandout: Robbie would call that hella awkward inandout: but I don't think mine has had one yet at 21 inandout: unless it's with a 🤖 he created ihatemyguts: that would be as impressive as it is 😢 inandout: he only likes to flex academically impressive muscles inandout: and believes no girls are interested in that inandout: despite being at uni ihatemyguts: 💔 ihatemyguts: Bless inandout: Lauren would knock his head together with every dream girl of his he's surrounded by until it fell off inandout: I'm a pacifist though ihatemyguts: Brothers are stupid ihatemyguts: his 💭👸 might be the stereotype of a cheerleader that doesn't even exist ihatemyguts: just ⏳⌛️ inandout: wouldn't leave me shooketh to find out you're onto something inandout: he does watch Love Island ihatemyguts: 🧠 representation, man ihatemyguts: you do not always get the girl at the end and if you do, you'll have so little in common you should just put her back inandout: I had a mental image of him just forcing a girl back up onto these high shelves we have in our kitchen inandout: not today, honey ihatemyguts: 😂 ihatemyguts: if only people were shelvable ihatemyguts: keep 'em in storage 'til you're feeling 💯 inandout: + if I'm heroically expected to get her down, the stumbling block is that the 🍪🍬🍭 are kept up there ihatemyguts: she'll have to eat it all to save you right back inandout: a love story inandout: we need to pitch it to Netflix ihatemyguts: I have done so much research for this ihatemyguts: Robyn can write it ihatemyguts: Rich can DEMAND actually disabled actors, and Rosie can ask nicely inandout: you have to be the lead, then the viewers will be on edge of their seats when you eat the 🍪🍬🍭 ihatemyguts: Lauren might 👊 me for it inandout: the spotlight would give her a seizure ihatemyguts: Awh ihatemyguts: lucky teen dramas are so moodily lit ihatemyguts: think twilight not spring breakers inandout: so dark that everyone has to squint and give themselves a headache inandout: dizzying camera angles inandout: getting our own back one symptom at a time ihatemyguts: may have to 🔪🔪 someone to make 'em shit their pants ihatemyguts: but you can nominate your brother, that's cool inandout: let him come back as a 🤖 at the end ihatemyguts: how's his Arnie? inandout: hmmm inandout: borderline racist? inandout: but we're Jewish and he's Austrian, I don't think he'll come for us ihatemyguts: not gonna go zombie for that ihatemyguts: definitely free pass for life on all the racial jokes @ their expense inandout: the shortened life span will help make up for it too ihatemyguts: no 🤖 ending? ihatemyguts: 👎 inandout: abrupt fade to black inandout: hopefully ihatemyguts: Iconic ihatemyguts: see your vision inandout: much as lingering death rattle would be an epic punk band or album name ihatemyguts: 🤔 ihatemyguts: you're a frontman, right? inandout: self nominated ihatemyguts: I see it inandout: you're drums ihatemyguts: only if I get to be on a dramatic raised platform above you all at the back inandout: if you swear not to 🚿 us with 💩 ihatemyguts: it would bring the horror ihatemyguts: very Carrie ihatemyguts: but 🤞 inandout: very Slipknot ihatemyguts: I'm down for a mask situation inandout: I'm not 🥵 ihatemyguts: Valid ihatemyguts: but you're cute, people will wanna see you inandout: cute is 🐕🐩🐈 or 🐖🐑🐐🐄 inandout: we can't start an animal band unless you can talk to them and ask if they really want inandout: ...some kind of rockstar life ihatemyguts: True, Ozzy was NOT asking those 🦇 if they were about the fame inandout: and they became another casualty of inandout: sickening ihatemyguts: is that the deal ihatemyguts: my bowel has decided not to work so I get to speak to animals? ihatemyguts: 🤙 inandout: that's a 10 episode series pitch ihatemyguts: god knows there has to be a redeeming feature of a sick kid ihatemyguts: can't be an arsehole who's suffering, not relatable and not enjoyable -10/10 inandout: you can only be an arsehole if yours works inandout: hooray for me ihatemyguts: lucky ihatemyguts: don't wanna flex on you by sparking up, really inandout: can you drink? It's a no for me ihatemyguts: it's iffy ihatemyguts: like it's not great ihatemyguts: but if I don't get big sister at Uni levels, technically inandout: technically same, but who wouldn't wanna get to that level inandout: who's doing it for the taste? ihatemyguts: I personally LOVE the taste of rotting fruit inandout: I have no sense of smell and barely any of taste and even I know wine and beer are both bad inandout: maybe the first sip of spirits will change my life ihatemyguts: that's a dangerous game ihatemyguts: it's already supposedly scentless a lot of the time ihatemyguts: you'd get wasted real fast inandout: not a date then ihatemyguts: not for long ihatemyguts: 🏥 is a fave haunt obviously but not ideal, even for a 2nd date inandout: 3rd? ihatemyguts: s'one way to end up in bed ihatemyguts: sure inandout: kids at my school do keep asking me if I've ever hooked up in hospital inandout: that being my number 1 priority each time ihatemyguts: 🙄 ihatemyguts: like it's some cringy show mums would watch ihatemyguts: with the staff or with all the random hottie in their prime that are just roaming the corridors, yeah, alright inandout: + 🏥 = PICC  in case there weren't a high enough risk of getting caught or mild peril ihatemyguts: the thrill of it all ihatemyguts: worth being sick for all the steamy romance, honestly inandout: don't forget the nurses inandout: another fave topic of everyone in class ihatemyguts: yeah, the stress eating and shift work makes 'em 🔥🔥🔥 inandout: no 💐 allowed to keep the atmosphere romantic either ihatemyguts: 💔💔💔 ihatemyguts: sure your class is not concerned about the vibe inandout: well read inandout: they just wanna touch a boob inandout: which is a good song title ihatemyguts: with potential to make a b-side literally about 🍑 ihatemyguts: high🖐 inandout: hi-hat, drummer girl ihatemyguts: badumtss inandout: 🎤 drop ihatemyguts: 🙇👏 inandout: Lauren swears she'll keep her clothes on to play Breath of the Wild ihatemyguts: I'm honoured ihatemyguts: and not at all disappointed ihatemyguts: 😉 inandout: her wardrobe of onesies are incredible inandout: they'll cheer you back up inandout: 👽🤖🐛🐲🦕🦑 + more animals than you'd have time to chinwag with ihatemyguts: obviously, I need to see this to believe 🖖 inandout: like a 🦄 she has one of those too ihatemyguts: thanks for the inside scoop ihatemyguts: can pretend I'm fully psychic now ihatemyguts: get all those oddly specific requests out inandout: that'll spook her inandout: I'm for it ihatemyguts: 🔮🗣🐒 ihatemyguts: not trying too hard to compensate, AT ALL inandout: I hadn't seen the others before today inandout: that was cool ihatemyguts: For real? ihatemyguts: It seems like you all hang like all the time, from the outside creepin' in inandout: you heard the commander, we're not supposed to post pics or personal stuff ihatemyguts: still a weird rule ihatemyguts: like, I get it, online predators, poor defenseless baby disableds, not ideal ihatemyguts: if it was an IRL group, we wouldn't be going by quippy puns on our name badges inandout: [gives her his socials and Lauren is of course in his friends so she can add her too] inandout: I was gonna suggest a meet up but didn't wanna get shot down inandout: the point is, some of us can't get out and about inandout: hasn't passed me by ihatemyguts: that's true ihatemyguts: there has to be a way we can include everybody though, everybody that would possibly want to ihatemyguts: Christ, if we as a group can't think of accessibility solutions ihatemyguts: but my point is, drop you a 💬 if I have any 💡 inandout: @ Rich inandout: he'd figure it out ihatemyguts: right? ihatemyguts: not that I'm desperate for company but frankly ihatemyguts: no, it could be cool inandout: and she won't say, despite what I said about trading on her fame, but Lauren's anniversary is coming up inandout: she'll want company for that ihatemyguts: I don't know if I should know, and I know I'm not gonna ask her ihatemyguts: but it can't be a fun anniversary, anything we could do to make it less of a shit time ihatemyguts: why not inandout: you're in inandout: cool ihatemyguts: 👍 ihatemyguts: the social engagements I won't need to turn down for this ihatemyguts: busy 🐝 I ain't inandout: I wanna ask if you had loads of friends before inandout: it seems like you would ihatemyguts: Kinda ihatemyguts: and not everyone turned into total cunts either, not trying to be that tragic heroine ihatemyguts: awkward adjustment, mainly for me, I know but ihatemyguts: wish I had a cool illness, you know ihatemyguts: can't make 💩 work for me inandout: what's a cool one? ihatemyguts: there's no cool one to have, I know that, like, intelligently, I get it ihatemyguts: but at least if you've got a decent story or you aren't essentially shitting yourself to death as your quirky symptom, people are more into it ihatemyguts: it's stupid but inandout: something that makes you faint dramatically inandout: that'd be netflix worthy inandout: the harder the name is to pronounce, the better ihatemyguts: exactly, providing I do it gracefully and look pretty whilst doing it ihatemyguts: 'cos what's the point in this pain if I can't peddle it to the masses inandout: you could look pretty doing it ihatemyguts: oh yeah ihatemyguts: the glamour would be unreal 😂 inandout: 🍃 ihatemyguts: 📽 ihatemyguts: cinematic inandout: American Beauty and you're the plastic bag ihatemyguts: that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me ihatemyguts: okay, Katy Perry inandout: leave Robbie to do the 🐯 roar ihatemyguts: she's cute ihatemyguts: no offense to you but inandout: how many dates are you two going on? ihatemyguts: do her parents let her out of her house, legit ihatemyguts: 'cos that will change the answer a lot inandout: only for 🏥 inandout: but she'll wanna come to the meet up ihatemyguts: then, we'll have to go on loads of dates ihatemyguts: so I can convince them I'm very respectable and not at all contagious inandout: I know JRA sucks but they'd put her in a bubble if they could ihatemyguts: I get it but also ihatemyguts: stop ihatemyguts: actual case of how it's being dealt with making it worse, when I was in hospital, the first time ihatemyguts: there was this tiny kid, and his ma was like...just insane, which is understandable but, it weren't helping her or him inandout: she could outgrow it when she's 16, that'll shake them up ihatemyguts: serious? ihatemyguts: damn inandout: it happens inandout: that's the J inandout: for being a kid ihatemyguts: I had no idea ihatemyguts: like you stop growing and it stops fucking with you, basically? ihatemyguts: that's cool ihatemyguts: if it happens ihatemyguts: worst fucking false hope if it doesn't inandout: yep inandout: sweet or bittersweet 16 ihatemyguts: like 5 months, she said? inandout: I'm gonna go to the party inandout: you should come ihatemyguts: Yeah? ihatemyguts: you think she meant it ihatemyguts: you can tell me if it was just politeness 'cos she is inandout: loneliness inandout: but she likes us too ihatemyguts: how long have you been in the group? inandout: they gave me the info when I was 12 inandout: I didn't wanna use it then though inandout: last summer I decided to ihatemyguts: I feel you ihatemyguts: like, what should we have in common ihatemyguts: but that's actually like any friendship, you got sat next to them one day in class or they shared with you at break ihatemyguts: I was just being a dick about it inandout: there are those inandout: like fibro inandout: but the core group are cool ihatemyguts: Everyone was decent ihatemyguts: if you're a dick you just are, regardless of our shared experiences ihatemyguts: but that is more than I've got with some of my old friends, that's just facts, whether you wanna accept it or nah, you know inandout: yep, me and my 🤖 brother have nothing shared inandout: his DNA is fine ihatemyguts: how was that ihatemyguts: like, was he mad guilty and did you wanna stomp on his lungs a 🤏 bit inandout: some days inandout: but Lauren says I'm better looking than him so what else matters ihatemyguts: 😂 inandout: how's your brother doing with your 💩 life? ihatemyguts: He doesn't say a whole lot ihatemyguts: that was a thing pre 💩 life too so ihatemyguts: guess he gets to keep being mysterious and my illness feels the least invisible when I'm the only kid let out to the 🚽 multiple times a lesson ihatemyguts: 🤷 inandout: you could suggest home school inandout: Robbie's an expert, she'd do you a pro slideshow ihatemyguts: I already miss people inandout: okay, okay, we'll bring the first date forward inandout: I'll escort you to the party ihatemyguts: what's the dresscode? this is vital and I know she's already said inandout: 👑💎 ihatemyguts: Oh good, you'll look extra adorable ihatemyguts: it'll be the usual trial picking which tiara to wear but think I'll survive inandout: Maybe you can take her shopping for your first date ihatemyguts: 💡 idea I'll have to claim as my own inandout: 🙇 ihatemyguts: do any of you go to the same schools ihatemyguts: or are you meant to not know that, either inandout: I don't know where either R goes inandout: and I'd remember Lauren or Rich if they'd been at my school, I think ihatemyguts: I reckon ihatemyguts: shame ihatemyguts: not that I reckoned there'd be an underground network of secret disabled kids at mine but oh well inandout: there could be inandout: you didn't need to find out before ihatemyguts: True ihatemyguts: ⭐ not being the one though ihatemyguts: have to do some more subtle digging inandout: my school has some invisible and visibles besides me ihatemyguts: statistically, there's no chance I'm the only one inandout: most of the ones in our camp have mental health stuff though inandout: or dyslexia, ADHD etc ihatemyguts: hadn't even considered those kinds ihatemyguts: got a lot of studying to do ihatemyguts: that's how it feels ihatemyguts: I barely get what I've got, never mind the endless possibilities of how a human can be slightly fucked inandout: they tend to have their own forums anyway inandout: not that Rosie wouldn't welcome them with a sleepy hug ihatemyguts: ☺️ inandout: it's less 🏥💉🩸 I guess? inandout: sort of 💊 and 🗪 ihatemyguts: Definite crossovers but not fully the same deal ihatemyguts: I see my pharmacist so often we're on date ... ihatemyguts: dread to think inandout: people don't wanna feel like others don't understand them somewhere where they're going for solidarity inandout: or that they can't get a sentence in over all the rest that are being typed ihatemyguts: it is pretty nervewracking ihatemyguts: even if yours is decent inandout: I used to be a big lurker inandout: some days I still am inandout: Lauren will always fill up the gaps ihatemyguts: you need all types, I reckon inandout: same ihatemyguts: like families ihatemyguts: even the creepy uncle inandout: if I don't have one does that mean I'm destined to become him? ihatemyguts: only if your brother finds a cheerleader ihatemyguts: you're probably alright inandout: he could adopt Robbie and let her live cage free ihatemyguts: that was a bit creepy ihatemyguts: oh my god, it's started ihatemyguts: 👹 inandout: damn inandout: much to think about inandout: a life to reassess ihatemyguts: if you're actually going ihatemyguts: thanks ihatemyguts: for being cool inandout: you were cool first inandout: I didn't lead a revolution ihatemyguts: you had to be cool enough not to shoot it down inandout: I'm so cool I've fallen at the creepy uncle fashion hurdle inandout: can't get a 🧢 on without a haircut inandout: it's all about the 🧦 now ihatemyguts: you know how to paint a picture ihatemyguts: even though I can now stalk your socials in my own time inandout: easier to explain you than Lauren inandout: my friends at school were shook by her ihatemyguts: I can imagine ihatemyguts: she'd be happy with that though 😏 inandout: she was inandout: [posts a selfie with his best attempt at a creepy uncle aesthetic because I doubt I'm finding a gem like that from Finn] ihatemyguts: oh my god ihatemyguts: 👏 ihatemyguts: that would be fully #triggering, top marks inandout: ♟ your move inandout: wine mum or vodka aunt ihatemyguts: Oh, I have perfect wine mum clothes ihatemyguts: had very bad taste a few years back and the 👻 are hanging about ihatemyguts: hold on inandout: I can't make the baited breath comment twice in a day, that's too much inandout: and I know I did in group ihatemyguts: 💔 I'm not special enough inandout: come back tomorrow for new puns ihatemyguts: [selfie in Amma's weird little girl/suburban mom clothing 'cos was not a mood] ihatemyguts: are you sure? inandout: damn inandout: come back tomorrow for a new photo challenge ihatemyguts: alright ihatemyguts: you're on inandout: cool

[superpooped]

Dealing with Quarantine (from an actual expert)

Hello!

Today’s post is for people who are having their first taste of isolation or quarantine and are feeling a bit overwhelmed.

There’s a lot of these going around, and although they can be useful (I have no idea about specific Corona-based medical practise or finance) they seem to be written by people who are generally out and about in the world.

No offence, but what you really need is a Professional. You need… A HOUSEBOUND PERSON!

And that’s where I come in.

For those of you that are new here, I have a condition where, amongst other things, my body doesn’t create energy like it should. My mitochondria are all messed up, so, as you can imagine, that has an impact on… everything.

I am too exhausted to leave the house, or sometimes my bed. So I’ve been cared for by my lovely family for seven and a half years, and have been housebound for the last five and a half.

By now, I’m an old hand at this, so I’ll be able to help you out with some of the lesser known issues that people without that half a decade of experience just can’t tell you.

Some of this may seem strange or contradictory in places, but I don’t make the rules. This is how it is.

Choice makes a difference

You’re probably learning (or about to learn) that the one thing that makes a difference as to whether doing something or not is fun is Choice.

The number of times I’ve had someone say to me “it must be so nice to be at home all the time” is ridiculous.

The person saying it is thinking of the fun type of staying at home, where you decide to have a duvet day and watch movies and eat toast in your pants.

But now people are being faced with the less fun kind. The kind where you can’t leave.

Staying at home because you want to… fun. Staying at home because of Doom Plague Potential… not fun. (Also, bagsy “Doom Plague Potential” as a band name.)

It’s tough being uncertain when you’re going to see people, do things or get on with your life, but…

If you think about it, you are making a choice. You’re making the choice to put your health first. That’s sensible.

And if you’re careful with others who are more at risk then you’re making the choice to be kind. That’s even better.

You can do it

I’m not even meaning this in an inspirational quote sense, you can actually do this. It may be tricky, but if I can last half a decade in my house, you can last a couple of weeks, or even a couple of months.

If you’re actually sick then make sure you have people who can check up on you via the internet or phone if not in person. Seek medical attention where necessary.

Otherwise…

The Internet exists - embrace it

All that “put down your phone and live in the REAL WORLD” stuff is about to become a load of cobblers.

You will feel lonely, the Internet is a great tool to prevent that, so embrace it.

Group chats, social media, and video chats make a MASSIVE difference in the lives of people stuck at home, so utilise that.

Even when you’re watching tv, have a group chat of mates watching the same thing and talk about it as if you’re all there together. Because you are... kind of.

You can also contact plenty of mental healthcare professionals over the internet (or phone) if you feel that’s something you need. Don’t be afraid to reach out. There are people available.

The Internet isn’t real

At the same time as the internet being an amazing tool and opportunity for social interaction, it’s important to remember that it’s not a complete experience of the world.

It seems obvious when you’re able to leave the house, but it will quickly become clear that things start to feel a bit more skewed without the regular interaction of polite (or not so polite) strangers in everyday life.

Things will seem more polarised and polarising, and specific, potentially small things may seem extremely important. That’s normal, just... bear it in mind and take a deep breath before reacting to things.

TV, Radio, Things to do!

If you, unlike me, are at home as a precautionary measure instead of long term health condition you can probably do things. Hooray!

Right now that is less than you're used to, and BELIEVE ME I know that feel, bro, but you can still do things and that’s wonderful.

Imagining a lengthy period where you’re stuck at home sounds awful, but imagine it without TV, books or the internet. Or crafts. Or DIY. Or the ability to clean your clothes or yourself.

I’m trying really hard not to play the “be grateful” card here, because people have said it to me despite me struggling (or being completely unable) to do any of those things and it made me want to bite them. But also... you can likely do those things. So maybe this is the point where all those trite inspiration memes come in handy and you can embrace the things you can do.

Unless you are sick, in which case, for the love of all that is holy, do not do the things.

Stay in bed. Drink fluids. Have people check in on you as safely as possible. Resist the urge to get up and make your body fight harder than it is, because that will not help you.

Trust me, despite all those “you can do anything if you BELIEVE” quotes, it’s not strong or clever to push your body when it’s struggling. You will just use up energy your body could be using to heal you. Take it from the sick person.

Stay in bed till you feel better, and then a bit longer, just to make sure.

And resist the urge to go out in public and rub your germy self onto various surfaces.

You will come to love your Postie/Courier.

Oh, those kind humans who strive through wind and gale to bring us parcels and food, and most importantly, contact with the outside world.

A face! A new face! Possibly some small talk. You never knew that was a thing you could miss before this moment.

Will you potentially feel the need to disinfect everything you get in the post? Possibly. Will you be ever so glad to see someone who doesn’t live in your house or flat? Most definitely.

They must be protected for they are the keepers of the parcels.

Time will lose all meaning.

The only thing I can reliably liken it to is that weird week between Christmas and New Year where you don’t know what day, time or year it is. Or why you’re covered in biscuit crumbs.

If you don’t celebrate these events and have have no prior experience in this weird time warp... I’m sorry. Things are about to get real.

I genuinely forget my own age at this point.

Keep to a regular schedule.

You’re going to re-enter the world at some point but that’s going to be difficult if your schedule is all messed up.

Keeping to a normal(ish) schedule will also mean you’re more likely to sleep better, which will be handy if you do actually get sick.

If you’re going to be working from home then you’re probably going to have to use alarms to get you to do anything because otherwise you will look up and it’s three in the afternoon, you’ve done nothing and you’re still in your jim-jams.

(To be fair, if you want to work in your jim-jams that’s a totally valid choice.)

Try to stick to specific working hours if you can. It’s much easier to switch off your mind from work worries when you’ve got commute time in the middle, so having set hours or a signal to yourself (like changing clothes) that the work day is over will help you wind down a bit easier. I remember that much from my healthy freelance days.

Exercise?

I imagine that if you’re housebound without being sick you’re probably going to have a ton of pent up energy.

I’ll admit I’m completely guessing here, because energy is quite literally what my body is rubbish at producing so exercising makes me worse, which is why I’m stuck in my house unable to do anything in the first place.

Looking back at those heady years before I got sick, however, I would get pretty restless being stuck inside during that weird post-Christmas week, so it’s probably good to try and exercise some of that off.

Stretches, yoga, kick a football about in the garden. Whatever floats your boat.

You’ll probably sleep better and it’s good for releasing endorphins too.

Again, if you’re sick, don’t do this. Just don’t. Coronavirus targets your respiratory system so nobody wants you to be doing star jumps like a muppet. Go lie down.

Touch withdrawal

If you live on your own, or even if people inside your house are avoiding contact to prevent potential contamination you may experience mild touch withdrawal. I don’t know if that’s an official term, but that’s what I’m calling it.

You can counter this with:

Blankets, duvets, or weighted blankets

There’s a reason people are given shock blankets after trauma, and that’s to simulate a hug and release the associated endorphins. Having a blanket, duvet or weighted blanket around you will do that same thing.

Pets

Having access to a furry (or scaly or feathered) friend will help with loneliness and touch withdrawal. A lot of them will be loving the chance to spend more time with you.

ASMR

I’ve had people tell me that ASMR videos help them with loneliness and touch withdrawal.

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is basically a tingly feeling of calm and being cared for that a person can experience when watching or listening to certain triggers.

YouTube is full of people tapping on bottles and turning books pages, and it can be really useful.

I was a bit dubious to begin with, but honestly the ones where the person pretends to cut your hair make me into a giant pile of goop.

Not the same as long term isolation

This is going to pass. You will be able to leave the house again, and it will be relatively soon.

When it does, please be respectful of those who are still here.

Yes, a two week quarantine might give you a tiny glimpse into what it’s like to be housebound, but it won’t make you an expert in long term isolation due to illness or disability. That’s a whole other ball game.

Please do not equate the two, because it honestly feels a randomer in a bar who has spent two minutes thinking on a topic telling you about something you have a doctorate in.

Coronavirus is scary, and quarantine or self-isolation is not something you’re used to but it is temporary.

Finally

If disabled or sick people are getting salty on the internet it’s because they have reason to be.

A lot of us have been stuck like this for years or even decades, and many of the options that would make things much more accessible for us have only magically become possible now there’s a threat to the general, abled population.

It doesn’t help that lots of people are trotting out the old “it’s only the old and sick who are in danger”. Thanks for that, mate. So glad that it’s only us sickies (and oldies) who might die and not the important, useful people that are in danger.

Many of us do not have that light at the end of the tunnel when we can leave the house and just get on with our lives. I have no idea when or if I will be able to rejoin society fully, or even partly. And I just have to get on with it.

So take this opportunity to be a little more mindful of those people.

I do hope this helps people who are nervous about being isolated. Keep calm. It will be alright.

Originally posted on superpooped.blogspot.com

[rainyrowan]

Sunkissed - Chapter 1

description: Wedding of the century rolls around as the previous college clique, along with the rest of their family members, stay in preparation for it. During this time, Riley meets Lucas, a gorgeous, green-eyed wallflower who happens to be immediately taken by her. Little did she know, he has a deep secret. One that will either change her views on him forever or make her feel closer to his world.

word count: 2,626

pairings: riley x lucas

Song: Annabelle’s Homework by Alec Benjamin

chapter one; riley

Sparkley Farkley: Did you know that the slowest marathon time ever is 54 years, eight months, six days, eight hours, 32 minutes, and 20.3 seconds? Yeah, in 1912, an Olympic marathoner from Japan supposedly disappeared during the middle of a race. Some say that he stopped to get a drink from an outdoor party, but ended up staying longer than he should have. Risque, if you ask me. Anyways, he was too embarrassed to finish the race, so he flew back to Japan instead. Years later, he decided to finish what he started by running the whole marathon himself. What I'm trying to say is WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Riley, you're seriously taking much longer to get to the boardwalk than this Japanese marathon guy. Hurry!!

I looked at the horrifically long paragraph Farkle had sent me and sighed. Being best friends with him also meant being best friends with your very own encyclopedia, which can be extremely useful at times. Although, it really isn't when your phone is constantly being bombarded with numerous texts about everything and nothing.

Gentle reminder that I live farther from the beach than you do. I'll be there soon! Don't miss me too much :)

I quickly text back. I gripped onto my camera strap, which is draped over my shoulder, as I start quickening my pace.

When we became closer over the years, Farkle and I both created a tradition of spending almost every Saturday down at the boardwalk. In regards to this, the main rule that we've agreed upon would be that if one of us couldn't make it, we would have to have an extremely valid excuse. Me being the more "laid back" friend, I've been pretty lenient on Farkle if he couldn't make it. Wish I could say the same about him, though.

Last night, I had to stay up till two in the morning helping my mother out at the flower shop. Arranging flowers isn't as easy as one may think. In result, I woke up later than usual, causing me to be about 30 minutes late. So far, I've received a fact text from him for every minute I ran late. It truly amazes me how he could just drop these facts off the top of his head.

I'm practically already running when I see Farkle by the entrance, arms crossed.

"I'm sorry!" I pant. I take a second to breathe before I continue speaking. "I.. I woke.. Wow, I'm not cut out to be.. an athlete, huh?" I joke.

He rolls his eyes as a grin forms on his face. "Where were you?"

"I was up all night helping my mom with the flowers. I woke up super late. I'm so sorry."

He nods in approval of my excuse. "That's okay. However, I don't think we could go to the diner now. Brooklyn and her minions are there. Seated in our spots too!"

The thought of Brooklyn made me sick to my stomach. Brooklyn was the Regina George of Harbor High School, and basically all of Santa Cruz. Like your typical teen cliche, she was the popular girl who also the prettiest. Brooklyn also had her own entourage, as she always had two minions following her. With her bitchy personality, you may say that it's surprising that she gets all the guys. With her body, though, it really isn't. It's probably how she had my crush of four years and counting, Charlie Gardner, falling for her.

"Well, I guess we would have to postpone our meal then," I say, linking my arms with his. We enter the boardwalk and head straight for the arcade. We're surrounded by all the games you could never ever get tired of. From Dance Dance Revolution to laser tag to racing games, the Santa Cruz Boardwalk Casino Arcade has you covered. Farkle and I have our common favorite, air hockey.

He let go of my arm, dashing straight to the air hockey table. "You ready to get your ass beat?"

He asks, slipping in a token. We love each other very much, but when it comes to air hockey, it's like we're two different people.

"You should be asking yourself that, Minkus." As air starts to shoot through the tiny holes from the table, we both grabbed our paddles. Suddenly, the puck falls through my pocket instead of Farkle's. "Well, that's a first! I guess I'm starting."

I hit the puck as hard as I can towards his goal. Hoping that this time my first hit would make it, he blocks the puck in a swift move and smiles. "Not today." This goes on for quite a bit. I concentrate on the puck as it glides across the table back and forth. That is, until a distraction came my way. Charlie.

I offer him a double take before actually realizing that it was him. He probably didn't even notice me, which was a good thing on my part. I didn't want him to know that I was here. Out of impulsive thinking, I ducked down to hide behind my side of the table. This wasn't really the best decision, though. Farkle managed to make a goal and yell on behalf of his victory. I don't even have to see what's happening to know that attention was surely brought towards us.

"Farkle!" I call out in a whisper. He walks around the table and takes a seat next to me.

"So, explain to me why we're hiding behind- "

"Riley!" Charlie exclaims. Mortified, I lift my head up to find him standing right in front of us.

"Hi, Charlie." I saw awkwardly. Thankfully, Farkle gets up off the ground and pulls me up, as I was too scared to even move.

Farkle clenches is jaw subtly enough that no one could notice, except for me. It's safe to say that he never liked Charlie. I don't blame him. Most of the time, he can be a total jackass.

I'm not too sure how or why I've liked him for so long, and still currently do. I like to think it's because of the fact that I'm always seeking the best in people. I don't necessarily like making assumptions out of people based on looks or first encounters. For Charlie, I realized how much of a good person he is, deep down, whilst working on a school project with him in the public library. My father, who so happened to be my teacher, assigned both of us as partners for a project that we had to turn in a matter of three days. Within those three days, we'd head to the library at night to work, but we were never productive. All we did was talk. Well, all Charlie did was talk. About himself, of course. I would just sit and listen. It was kind of odd not taking part in the conversation, but I mostly did not mind. As a matter of fact, I remember feeling like it was for the best since I would most likely say something stupid. Plus, I got to learn more about him and who he truly was. The downside of it was that I had to take our project home and finish it myself, but I thought that it was worth it. From that moment on, I couldn't help but keep thinking about him, about us.

Charlie extends his hand out to Farkle, expecting a shake, but he steps back. "I'll wait for you outside." He tells me. No, no. Please don't leave me alone with him.

"Well, that was awkward." He laughs. "But anyways, I am so glad I caught you. I was wondering if you're free like right now? I was hoping that you could help me out with something."

Crap. As much as I would love to help him, I promised Farke that I would spend the day with him. However, as I was looking up at Charlie's mesmerizing brown eyes, I seem to have ignored that fact. "Um, sure." I squeaked. I clear my throat and try again. "What would I be helping you with exactly?"

"You see, we're doing headshots in drama, and you're kind of known to be a really talented photographer," I blush as he says so.  Along with the fact that his words make me swoon, another thing about Charlie that I liked was the fact that he is a performing arts fanatic. I'm presuming that it's something that he would like to achieve in the future. He's actually really talented if I'm being honest.

"So, would it be alright if you got a couple of portrait shots of me by the beach?" Charlie asks.

"Maybe in return, I can buy you a milkshake afterward."

Farkle is so going to kill me after this.  "Er, okay."

"Great! C'mon, let's go." He starts heading towards the exit as I trail behind him. Hoping that he was the gentleman I thought he'd be, I expected him to open the door for me. Instead, he ends up leaving it to close behind him. I sigh, disappointed for getting ahead with my thoughts. Once I've exited the arcade, I immediately scan my surroundings in search for Farkle.

"I'm here." He calls out from behind me. I turn to find him leaning against a wall.

"You're going to hate me," I confess.

A smirk creeps up on his face. "Not gonna lie, I was already kind of assuming."

"You're not mad?"

"No," Farkle says softly. "I still hate that bastard, though. But I mean if you like him that much-"

I pull him into a hug. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Yeah, okay." He wraps his arms around my back and chuckles lightly.

"Riley?" Charlie yells.

I pull away from Farkle and adjust my outfit. This would technically be the first time I get to hang out with Charlie alone, so I obviously want to look presentable. However, that's clearly not the case since I'm currently in my maroon Harvard sweater that Farkle had actually bought me from when he visited last year, along with a pair of faded ripped jeans.

"Do I look okay?" I ask.

He holds two thumbs up. "Can't say no to a girl in Ivy League gear."

"I love you, and thanks a bunch!" I plant a quick kiss on his cheek before running towards Charlie.

Once I've caught up to him, we both head to the beach together.

I truly do love the beach. I love the ambiance of waves crashing against the shore, along with the wailing of seagulls as they soar across the sky. Not to mention, the smell of the ocean beach as well. Everything about the beach is so captivating and peaceful, especially since it's a little early and not a lot of people are here. The afternoon is the absolute worst time to visit the beach. The fact that there are so many people who usually come on a day to day basis, makes me a little anxious to go.

Charlie leads me to where the dock is located. Farkle and I would usually come to take pictures underneath the dock. This area is quite aesthetically pleasing.

"I think this is a great spot." He says, placing his bag down as I begin to adjust the settings of my camera. I let him know that I'm ready once everything's all set. Charlie then runs towards the shoreline and starts posing of a shot. Since I'll be capturing portrait shots, I made sure that my camera is set so all my photos can have a shallow depth of field. This way, Charlie will be in focus as the background will be a bit blurry. After taking a few photos here and there, I stop to look at them. Charlie was perfectly centered, the lighting was on point, and all shots have great composition. Perfect. I think to myself. However, Charlie apparently doesn't exactly think so when he sees them.

"Yeah, this situation just isn't working for me. Let's try something different." He looks around for a moment. "Here, why don't you get some bird-eye shots of me laying on the sand."

I was a little offended that he didn't like the photos I originally took. I spoke out, irritated. "I thought we were taking portraits?"

"I'm just trying to think outside of the box here, Riles. Maybe the photos will turn out better." I scoff at what he had just said. What difference does it make? You're just going to be lying down. And I thought all headshots were portraits. There he goes acting like a douche, but here I am, still taking interest in him.

Charlie lies down on the sand and places his hand behind his head. From the looks of it, he could pass for a Hollister or Abercombie & Fitch model.  I stand directly on top of him to get good shots. If I'm being honest, this isn't the ideal position I'd want to be in. It's a little uncomfortable and weird, really.

Suddenly, water hits the shore and Charlie attempts to save his khaki pants by jerking straight up. Instead, jerking straight up somehow caused me to tumble forward, allowing both of us to fall back down. I also end up dropping my camera on the sand. Water continues to run beneath Charlie, which caused his whole outfit to be soaked. "Shit!"

The water still kept going around us. I panic as I watch it slowly ooze towards my camera. Miraculously, the water stopped before it could reach it. I graciously let out a sigh of relief. "Will you get the fuck off of me now?!" He yells in annoyance. I flinched when he does so and realize that what was happening: I was on top of Charlie Gardener. Because I was on top of him, I didn't get hit by the water at all. I quickly scurried to my feet and grabbed my camera.  I turned to Charlie, who was still really angry that he was drenched. He got up from the ground and gathered his stuff. "Thanks to you," He snaps. "I am soaking wet, and I have rehearsals for the musical after this!"

I feel a familiar tightness gripping my throat. As Charlie continues to curse at me, a burning heat rushes through my body and I can hardly breathe. The DJ over by the boardwalk starts blasting music that seems to be ten times louder than usual. My surroundings then become too horrifically bright. My hands become clammy as I start to lose control of my body. My vision starts to get blurry and my heartbeat begins to speed up to the point where I could hear it.

Once Charlie finishes grabbing his stuff, he walks over to me. He stops and takes a deep breath. "Just email me the photos whenever you can." And with that, he walks away. When I've lost sight of him, I walk towards the pebbles near the ocean. I stare out to sea, trying to take big breaths. I stay until I've finally coaxed my heartbeat back to normal.