#i think thanksgiving at my mom's was significantly more destabilizing than i realized

[honeysuckle-venom]

Self harm cw

Oh wow okay I knew I was having a bad day but I didn't realize it was this bad. The time between "I think I'm having a bad day" to "actively screaming while trying desperately to resist the urge to break my own fingers" was about 40 minutes. The last few months I've been making an effort for the first time in my life to not even bite or scratch myself when upset and I've failed three times in the last ten minutes but at least I've stopped quickly each time when I remember because I really really am trying. I'm trying. It's just so fucking hard and I want to snap my bones, so not even biting is nearly impossible. I took my PRN and I texted my dad and I just have to make it until he gets home tonight around 10. I can do that. Seven hours. I can make it seven hours without hurting myself. I can.