#i think she can also Intentionally Prevent Us from recalling things a little bit which is good and great

[oursystemblog]

How does memory holding work? Can you pass around memories or share them? Can one alter have the memory be very clear while another remembers the same thing but only faintly?

I love the comics, thank you for sharing.

I was gonna give another boring "we don't really have memory loss between each other" response but i thought about it a little bit harder and i guess there Are slight differences in what memories we can recall

that's interesting to me actually i haven't thought about that too hard until now , it's not like Memory Loss but it's kind of like there's a Wall preventing most of us from recalling it in detail that the emotion holder doesn't have . uhhh uhhh too tired to coherently say anything more you know waht i mean

[backandimbamon]

Bonnie playing with Damon's hair and he all sleepy 😊

this really took a while because… i was going to stop at the first half but i wanted to consider Bonnie’s perspective (: and then it got a lil spicy and i was like *sigh* why must you always take it there? but i mean- 👁- i always take it there because we were robbed!!! Damon is practically a self proclaimed sex god and i hate how they separated Bonnie from her sexuality, or really any form of intimacy for sooo long. and the scraps we got were NEVER enough. okay anyways yeah i’m finally done, like let’s get into it.

Damon notices that Bonnie touches him sparingly and really not because she wants to but because it happens accidentally every now and then, one of the perks about frequently invading her space.

Being stuck on the other side, there is less room for her and more for him, she’s in his world now which means it’s his duty to make her feel as uncomfortably comfortable as possible.

He notices everything; how her cheeks turn red when their knuckles brush against one another’s, how she takes in an exasperated little breath when their shoulders touch, how she rolls her eyes when he stands entirely too close. Damon hangs on to these moments because this may be his only form of female contact he’ll receive for a very, very, long time.

That is the only reason he hangs on.

Anytime she touches him intentionally, he feels a pride swell deep in his chest that he’s liked by Bonnie after a rocky road of ups and downs, fussing and fighting, he is finally deemed worthy enough for her to care about him even if it’s brief, even if it’s the smallest skin to skin contact imaginable.

And yes, he cares because if he has to spend the rest of eternity with one person, they might as well get along.

Movie night comes around so he rests his head in her lap, testing the waters, to see how she will respond to him. He senses her tense up a bit as predicted, but then she relaxes into it breath by breath like she’s doing a tricky yoga pose.

Bonnie’s body lotion makes her skin smell edible- cocoa and honey- she’ll never know but that’s why he nicknames her Bon Bon, she always smells good enough to eat. At this point, Damon can’t recall the VHS movie on the block of a television, his focus has been robbed by Bonnie and this new form of contact she allows him to try. Half of his smile sinks into the cotton of her leggings.

Her eyes never leave the screen when she laces her fingers through his hair, nails surfing through tufts of raven-black and the gesture is so shocking and embarrassingly arousing that a strangled groan gets trapped in his throat.

She panics, and he can tell by the change in her heart rate before saying. “Did I hurt you?” He has to clear his throat to speak.

“Hmmm mm, feels good,” he mumbles feigning casual so she can’t realize how he needs this so so bad that he’s fearful of it being taken away. In his mind he thinks about what if.

What if she wakes up and decides she doesn’t want to tap dance on the line between what is and isn’t acceptable for two best friends. What if she remembers that he’s actually a terrible person who has done horrendous things to her and everyone she’s ever loved.

She shouldn’t like him or try not to laugh at his jokes. Not at all. Bonnie should’ve killed him a long, long time ago because if anyone could do it, it’d be her. He can see her now, all badass and angry with a wooden stake in her hand, vengeance in her eyes, the very last thing he’d see before his lights went out forever.

Bonnie, the giver and the taker.

Bonnie, the only god he knew.

Damon finds himself thinking so intensely lately that he checks the mirror more often than not to make sure he has no brooding lines like his little brother. Stefan’s expansive forehead has the room for it, his perfectly shaped forehead does not.

She laces her fingers back through his hair again and his eyes flutter, that’s how good it feels. It’s sensational. And while he’s had his hair pulled in and out of the bedroom, the innocence of her touch makes him want to melt. He finds his lids growing heavier, like how they used to do a century-and-a-half ago when he was human.

Running through dandelion fields in the overbearing Virginia heat, the sun up above sending heavy gusts of sunshine beams, a moment he considers to be oppressive now, used to be magical then- miraculous -and despite sweating through his britches and overcoat he never cared enough to stop running through the fields. The sun was the greatest thing all those years ago, back when white was his favorite color.

And after drawing a long, hot bath, he’d sink deep into the water while the bubbles floated to the top. Damon would close his eyes, hold his breath, see if he could break his prior record. Then he’d get out and the sleep would welcome him like any drowsy being, with open arms. And there he’d fall.

Bonnie has that affect on him. She makes him think of home, his past, when times were simpler and he was human.

He feels that exhausted sometimes, a boy who’s never stopped running through dandelion fields, whether it snows or rains or burns him alive. Her fingernails rake through his scalp- orange leaves on browning grass. Ruining Stefan’s piles for the fun of it. His lids droop. Tired of being consumed by himself, by Bonnie, he admits defeat this time. When he finally drifts off, he remembers that the Virginia heat gave him this same warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

“You really don’t know how good this feels,” his final words are hoarse before he drifts off but the last thing he sees is Bonnie.

The giver and the taker, the only god he knows.

.

Bonnie refuses to relish in the magic of the moment, the fact that it’s so rare Damon ever completely lets his guard down around her. She can always feel his eyes on her, constantly watching because Damon has a presence that’s inescapable.

Being so close to him when he’s extremely vulnerable makes her realize that in all facets, he’s stunning. A stunning that’s almost suffocating but with the dynamic they possess, he only needs to know that he’s not that much of an eye sore.

Now, she stares with wide eyes while she can, memorizes the smooth expanse of skin, every strand of dark hair. Relishes in the feel of his arms around her waist, the weight of his head in her lap. It’s been a long time since she’s felt a body besides her own and as much as she likes to ignore the fact, she has needs, needs that have swelled from being in the presence of Damon for too long.

He’s sexy without any effort, she examines. His dark t-shirt has risen and his pants are low enough that she observes the waistline of (silk?) boxers, taut muscle, navel, happy trail, yeah. Bonnie drinks him in like a cool glass of milk before bedtime- never has this much pretty been in her lap before. Her hands find their way in his head again, tousles through and he nuzzles up against her in his sleep. It’s difficult to pull her eyes away from him, but when she does, the credits are rolling on the screen.

This is Damon she’s thinking about like this, her best friend and also her first best friend’s boyfriend. She repeats it again, not satisfied that the guilt isn’t drowning her like it sometimes does when she catches herself lingering on his attractiveness for too long but Mystic Falls, the real Mystic Falls seems so far away. Elena, Caroline, Matt, Alaric, her old life just seems unattainable, no bigger than a memory she occasionally mistakes for a bad dream.

There’s no denying that being away from it all, here with Damon as the only other person in the world, she feels…safe. Maybe even protected, it’s a stark contrast from the real Mystic Falls where her life is always on the line.

Bonnie starts to get up when she feels his hold on her tighten to prevent her from moving away. They play tug of war for a bit but she eventually stops fighting because Damon is a vampire after all, physical strength is going to get her nowhere. “Fine,” she grumbles, then plops down which causes the end of her top to ride up enough that she can feel the press of Damon’s nose on the curve of her waist. Despite trying to inch her shirt back down, she has no luck. Naturally Damon doesn’t mind.

He inhales her skin deeply, makes a sound of approval before groggily muttering, “Going topless now, are we Judgey?”

She grabs his hair again, yanks his head back as a rebuttal, and Damon bites his tongue so hard that it bleeds. He has to ensure that all of the blood in his body isn’t rushing south too fast but unfortunately, he would have to sever both his arms completely off to stop the blood flow.

Bonnie realizes the dazed look in his eyes isn’t one of pain nor is it from sleep, “Not the reaction you expected, huh?” He asks, gesturing for her to look down but she doesn’t, she can’t. She’s embarrassed, and to make matters worse, a teensy bit turned on.

“You scared, Bon Bon? I thought you were big and bad,” Damon mocks, pulling between his legs to make more room in his jeans, “it’s okay. I know Jeremy left much to be desired.” He sits up with swirls of longing still in his eyes, then grabs a pillow to place in his lap.

“Scared?” She guffaws. “Of what exactly?”

“Me…You.”

“And that means?”

“You’re a smart girl, Bon, figure it out.” Damon taunts, holding her eyes with his. “It’s awfully lonely here.”

She says nothing for a while, refusing to break eye contact first. “So.”

“Soooo, I won’t tell if you won’t.” It’s almost a joke, almost because she has a feeling if she says yes to whatever sort of ambiguous proposal he’s thrown up in the air, there won’t be any laughter. If she says no, it’s no different from his usual innuendos but boy, will she wonder.

“Wanna take a walk on the wild side?” He asks in a singsong tone, eyes dropping to her lips then back up to her eyes.

There are no alarms, no cell phones, no one here that can interrupt this moment. She has to answer, though she has no idea what will come out of her mouth. Bonnie shuts her eyes to make the moment less real, as if it will change the fact that she whispers, “Just one kiss,”

They’re nose to nose when Damon whispers back, “a peck.”

She swallows his breath. “Mhmm,”

“It’s nothing,”

“Nothing.”

“As light as air,” he presses his lips to hers for a brief moment then pulls back again. “See.” He peppers more kisses on her lips, down her jaw, the side of her neck, but they’re heavier. They have a density now. His tongue is on the flesh of her shoulder, teasing up her neck. She feels the light imprint of sharp canines, arousal surges through her like a power circuit, so intense that she moans. When he makes his way back up, their mouths both open in a feral kiss that robs them of air.

Bonnie holds his face in place though he makes no attempt to move away. The pillow falls out from between them when he grabs Bonnie’s leg to straddle him.

It’s nothing.

Nothing separating them from attacking each other’s mouths, nothing stopping Damon from gripping his best friend’s hips, nothing saving Bonnie from discarding his shirt.

His skin is cool enough that she can stream together some thought in between relentless kisses. “Damon,” she tries her best to sound admonishing.

“Please, not right now.” Damon cuffs both her wrists behind her with one hand and plants a hickey just above her cleavage. She sees stars. He already knows what the inflection in her voice means- the timing couldn’t be worse.“Let’s save the guilt for tomorrow morning.” His tone is octaves lower, almost as low as his lids. He drags his eyes up to hers, and they’re so shiny she can see her reflection. “I need this, Bonnie. Don’t you?”

He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, just continues on with his ministrations, hypnotized by the pheromones seeping off of her in waves, wanting to memorize the scent with his tongue. She whines his name, like actually whines his name, and the feeling that sits in the pit of his stomach scares him. Bonnie is so oblivious to the appeal she carries but if she sat in his skin for a day, hell, for a moment, she would realize just how long she’s been driving him insane.

“We can’t,” she groans weakly. “We can’t.”

Damon tries to breathe easier, but that feeling is lurking in his gut. She’s right. The things he’d do to her, he’d break her in half. He removes Bonnie from his lap, separates from her warmth, her scent. Backs away until the tv threatens to fall off the stand. Everything in him tells him to go back, to reenter the magnetic pull, to poke at her forcefield.

He backs away even further if possible. Her breath catches at the distance.

Bonnie’s cheeks are flushed, warm and red like fruit. If she was an apple, she would have already been eaten down to the core. If she was a peach, it would be easier to explain why he ate her. He thinks to himself that he’s officially off the rails, comparing Bonnie to fruit like he is, but he’s trying to rationalize his irrationality. Because if Bonnie never stopped him, he’d definitely be eating something by now.

“Nothing happened.” She says, ignoring his expression and the silent plea in his eyes.

“Nothing.” He deadpans, throwing his shirt back over his head.

Damon thinks of how different things would be if he had his way. Bonnie, spent, drunk, high off of him. Bleeding and wild, pretty and dangerous, yelling for God. He would plunge Jeremy right out of her, help her find her magic again. Give her everything she could dream of. He gulps.

She doesn’t sleep with him tonight, not in the same bed. She’s on the opposite end of the boarding house when he hears her slide under the covers.

The next morning, he thinks to himself, if she even utters a word about last night, he’ll pick up from where he left off. But she doesn’t, her eyes are far away again, and the only proof he has of their adventures is the wonderful, purple hickey.

When movie night comes back around, his head is in her lap and her hand is back in his hair, running to and fro like him in his lavender fields.

That’s all he gets.

Every now and then, it’s enough.

Bonnie gives and takes, then takes away some more.

She’s the closest thing to God he’ll probably ever know.

[arhvste]

❝ kuroo tetsurō - rate-a-child ❞

in which kuroo takes a more refined but catty approach towards having his say on your daughters ex boyfriend leaving her in tears

an - sorry this took so long to get out, this went hand in hand with the hcs i did that’s why it’s a little late seeing as i changed the concepts for oo of yesterday’s work !!

tetsu week masterlist

“i’ll kill him.”

“you’ll do nothing of a sort.”

“i meant with kindness.”

“kindness my ass, the look on your face says it all!”

you were currently in a hissing match between yourself and your husband as you stood outside the bedroom door of your 16 year olds daughter who was currently curled up under her sheets which were damp with tears.

the catalyst to the situation was when your daughter first slipped in through the front door and failed to greet yourself and her father as usual. you hadn’t missed this as you poked your head out of the living room only to see a pair of legs stagger up the stairs without much care placed in each step.

“tetsurō, is she okay?” you whispered nodding towards the door your daughter had just entered through from school.

“i couldn’t tell you, she didn’t look in my direction.” kuroo raised an eyebrow as he looked up from his laptop screen briefly towards the hall.

“i think i’ll go and see.” you muttered as you dropped your phone onto the couch and headed towards the staircase.

“i’ll come.” kuroo got up ready to stand only to halt when you shot him a piercing look.

“this is mother-daughter time i think.”

“aw don’t be like that! why can’t i be included and see what’s wrong with my little girl?”

you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“because i don’t think she likes how you baby her so much. she’s independent tetsu, we have to accept it. just let me talk to her first and you can come up in a few minutes okay?”

“guess you’re gonna have to take her amounts of babying in her place then.” he pouted to which you let out an airy before heading upstairs to your daughters room.

you knocked and waited for the signal to come in but it never came. you tried again and still no reply. pressing your ear to the door you heard soft sobs coming from inside as your heart rate sped up.

“i’m coming in” you quietly warned before gently opening the door, your daughters saddened form right before your eyes.

“oh!” you rushed over to her side and pulled her weak state into your arms as you sat on the side of her bed.

“baby what’s wrong?” you cooed stroking the hair stuck to her face as a result of wet tears dripping down her face.

“-he -he dumped me.” she hiccuped as more tears dropped down her face.

you frowned silently to yourself as you racked your brain for an appropriate response.

kuroo had been your first and only boyfriend so you had never been broken up with before so you couldn’t understand the pain she must’ve been feeling. for now, rocking her back and fourth and calming the crying seemed like the best option until you could think of how to approach it without looking too aimless.

as if the heavens had opened their gates specifically for you to grant any wish you so much desired, your husband entered your field of vision in the doorway as his eyes softened at the two of you.

“so much for mother-daughter time.” you tutted and kuroo softly smiled before approaching the two of you.

“i know you’re relieved i’m here, it’s written all over that pretty face of yours.” he replied he took a seat on the other side of your daughter.

“can you not flirt while in front of me whike i’m going through my first teenage heartbreak!” you daughter snapped as kuroos eyes widened.

“heartbreak?” you sent a pleading look his way as if to beg for him to say something to attempt damage control.

“o-oh i mean, heartbreak yes. well, i’m just waiting on you to confirm it was that ugly boyfriend of yours who did it so i can take matters into my own hands.”

you glared at your husband who now had a small fire ignited in his eyes.

“it was. -but please don’t say anything! i don’t want this to be a thing!” you daughter tugged at your husbands arm pleading him to keep this to himself.

“no can do. princess, you’re crying. i never want to see you cry especially over some boy who’s league you were well above anyway!” he scoffed as he got up to leave.

“don’t worry pretty one, dads gonna get him back for ya!”

“tetsu don’t-”

and with that he shut the door behind him, leaving you to scramble to your feet offering an apologetic look to your daughter to which she dryly laughed and waved off her fathers antics. you hastily dashed out the room to grab kuroos hand before he could get any further down the hall which was where you were presently questioning your husbands motives.

“y/n, let me go please.” he whined as you held his arm tighter.

“and if i do then what?” you pressed, raising an eyebrow at him.

“then i’ll get revenge for our little girl.”

“then i’m not letting you go.” you quipped back frowning at him.

“makes no difference to me.” he sighed using his other arm to scoop you up easily off of your feet and out of shock you let him go.

“tetsurō! let me go! i want no part in this!” you hissed as your husband carried you down the stairs and into his home office.

“why are we in here?” you quietened down once he placed you on the plush black couch in his work space.

“you didn’t seriously think i was going to actually show up at his house or something did you?” he grinned as he sat upon his desk chair to fire up his desktop.

“yes.” you honestly muttered, raising an eyebrow towards him.

he cackled and shook his head before motioning for you to come over to which you found yourself obliging to.

“look, i’m not gonna be too embarrassing speaking for her but i think you’re gonna want a say in this eventually.” he explained as your confused face only stuck as you watched him open his emails.

he typed in the email address of your daughters ex boyfriends parents. you knew you had their contact details as they had requested your husband help them get their son into the sport industry to which kuroo very reluctantly agreed to, only because you insisted.

kuroo was never a fan of the boy. he knew from the first time he met him that he would cause trouble and as much as he’d like to have his ‘told you so’ moment, he knew that it could wait. he’d prove his point another way instead.

‘dear mr and mrs whatever your last names were, i’ve forgotten it already,’

you flicked him on the arm for that but something told you to let him continue as you silently fed off of the pettiness yourself.

‘it’s come to my attention my suspicions about your ‘boy’ were right. he is in fact a trouble maker and i should’ve prevented him from getting involved with us from the very start when i first had a hunch.’

kuroo typed with such precision and passion. you had never seen him so into an email before and you weren’t sure whether you should’ve been concerned or not.

‘i first had an idea of what sort of person your son was when my daughter for some reason brought him over for dinner. his manners? comparable to a farm animal. who eats with their mouth open?’

humming as he typed, kuroo mentally listed all the time he didn’t like the boy which wasn’t exactly hard since you knew he had disliked him from the very start and while right now your daughter might’ve been upset and distraught, he was silently happy that he was finally out of the picture.

‘another thing i find closely similar to a farm animal in him is his hair. i don’t particularly understand why you allow him to leave the house looking such a state, but you’re certainly not doing him any favours by doing so.’

you snorted reading this one as kuroo glanced up at you.

“i think that’s a bit rich coming from you.” you hummed as your husband snickered.

“my hair and his hair are two very different situations. mine is unintentional and you love it. his... well, his is just straight up ugly and he intentionally styles it that way.” kuroo replied before turning back down to face the screen.

‘i remember the first time i enquired your son about his very ‘unique’ hairstyle and he scoffed in my face and told me it’s what was currently ‘trendy’. forgive me if i’m wrong, but a trend is a pattern multiple people follow and make normalised no? i haven’t seen another soul wander around with the same bizarre mop on their head as your son, perhaps a dictionary is in order to be purchased for your son so he can educate himself on what a ‘trend’ really is, because no sane being would follow along with his atrocious aesthetic.’

your eyes danced over the screen as kuroo typed it up so flawlessly, it was as if he had revised everything he’d been wanting to say for months which in all honesty, wouldn’t shock you considering how vocal he was speaking against your daughters then boyfriend.

‘so not only is your son lacking in the aesthetics department but also the personality. i’m not quite sure why he thinks his rude tone is normal, but it’s not. why does he act like owns the place whenever he visits my house. i hate to make assumptions, but your boy isn’t bringing any income to the table is he? so tell me why he acts like he does whenever he comes over.’

the irritation deepened on kuroos face as he recalled all the times the boy would come over and treat the house like his own. his shoes muddy and left in the middle of the hallway, his feet always propped up on the coffee table centred in the living room by the couches, no greeting or acknowledgment when he’d come in, he’d simply come in and head straight upstairs to your daughters room. kuroo was agitated each and every time but held his growing aggravation together at the insistence from you that your daughter would come to her senses soon enough and dump him. the outcome is technically what yourself and kuroo had wanted, although, the two of you were confused as to why your daughter was crying over someone so inferior. nevertheless, you were both internally relieved it was all over now.

‘while i know your son is still growing up and such, i do think 16 years old is a little concerning for him to not know manners. this is exactly why i was reluctant to help him into getting into the professional sports industry. both yourselves and your son were demanding of my assistance however, let it be known msby weren’t fans of your son and his awful mannerisms in the slightest so i wouldn’t prepare myself to cheer him on at their stadium anytime soon so hold your breaths.’

kuroo recalled the few times he brought the wretched boy to work with him only to suffer at the hands of secondhand embarrassment. he was rude and obnoxious towards the staff and had provoked several of the players leaving kuroo to apologise in his place and guide him as far away from the pros as possible.

‘i’m glad myself and my family are finally able to wash our hands with him. i didn’t like him and my wife wasn’t too keen either. teach him to do better than this. while i’m bothered by my own daughters current state of upset, i know her tears will dry quickly once she realises what a waste of time this all was. i don’t want a reply, i want an improvement from your son. don’t let him treat his next girlfriend (if he’s lucky enough to get one) the way he treated my daughter and i think basic manner instructions and examples are required for him to start an improvement.’

your arms draped over kuroos shoulders as he gunned finishing his email.

‘my daughter will move on quickly from this, i have no doubt in that, but teach your son what it means to be a responsible man and reshape the strange looking piece of clay of a child you’ve moulded him into. there’s still hope (if you’re optimistic). overall, i’m rating your child 2/5 stars. he was reliable but that’s the only good thing he had going for him. take my constructive criticism and work on improvements for the future! yours sincerely, kuroo tetsurō’

with a slighter harder press on the final letter of the email, kuroo clicked a few options on the email and wasted no time in hitting the ‘send’ button before exhaling.

“that was... something.” you muttered as kuroo turned to face you on the office chair.

he laughed softly before pulling you onto his lap and leaning in. his hot breath ticking the back of your neck as he spoke.

“i think this is going to shake them more than a visit to their house won’t it? i’m sure an email is the last thing they’re expecting.”

you leaned back into his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist as he pressed soft kisses to the back of your neck.

“i hope one day, she finds someone who’ll love her the way you love me.” you sighed, eyes fluttering shut.

“i know she will, she has your good looks and my sharp wit, i don’t have a single doubt she’ll find someone as good as her over time.” kuroo murmered his kisses ceasing for a moment.

the two of you sat there in contentment for just a moment before you pulled yourself from his grip and stood before him offering your hand.

“boys can wait, the only boy she needs in her life right now is sat right before me and i think she needs him to come and comfort her with me for now.” you softly smiled as kuroo smirked.

“so, i finally get an invitation to mother and daughter time?” he leaned further back in his chair, sharp features only more defining.

“looks like it.” you confirmed as kuroo reached for your hand.

“then, i gladly accept.” his calloused hand took in your own as you tugged him off the dark leather office chair.

you and kuroo had no doubt your daughter would pick herself up on her own over time. that didn’t mean you wouldn’t slyly defend her behind the scenes though because while kuroo loved the idea of his daughter staying his little girl forever, he knew better than to tug at her independence.

nevertheless, your little girl or not, yourself and kuroo would go to all ends to make her happy and if that meant to send a petty email, the so be it. yourself and kuroo would gladly sit at your screens for hours and type up as many needed if it meant to make your daughter happy.

there wasn’t really anything kuroo wouldn’t do for his family and you loved that about him. always taking the higher ground and solving issues in sometimes questionable but logical ways was kuroos method at tackling things. youd question his motives but he’d always come through in the other end. perhaps you’d have to trust your husband from the start of these situations a little more in the future.

dt - @aislastetsu

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[winchest09]

Yesterday.

Title: Yesterday

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Word Count: 3000

Summary: Yesterday, everything was how it should be. Yesterday, Dean was in his happy place. Yesterday, everything changed. 

Rating: 15

Warnings: Fluff, angst, all the angst, SPOILER, death, regrets, drama, accident. 

A/N: So this is my entry for @deanwanddamons​ 500 follower challenge! Congratulations babe once again! My prompt was “And you’re the place my life begins and you’ll be where it ends” this line is included in this fic. :) 

A/N 2: This also took a different turn to what I expected it to be and I sincerely  hope you enjoy it. 

*** Any mistakes are my own, my darling beta is feeling under the weather (Feel better babe!) Please do not repost my work anywhere however reblogs are fine and welcome :) I’ll give you a virtual hug if you did!

***

Main Masterlist

Let me know what you think!

——————————————

Yesterday, everything was how it should be. A fancy hotel room, a plush queen sized bed lined with eygption cotton sheets and his girl all curled up in his arms. He’d woken at the same time that he always did when she was laying next to him. Just in time to see the sunrise shine beautifully across Y/N’s face, highlighting her delicate features perfectly. For Dean, this was a sight that would always be his favourite. A sight that he was lucky enough to see every day when he awoke next to her. A sight that he would remember for the rest of his life. 

He took a deep, soft breath as he allowed his eyes to scan over Y/N’s face. He didn’t want to miss a single detail. From the way her lashes dusted across her cheeks as she slept to the way her lips looked as soft as a petal. He adored how her hair would fall gently over her eyes, giving him the perfect opportunity to reach out and brush it behind her ear. He loved the soft noises that would escape her lips as she moved around in slumber. He loved every single damn thing. 

He smiled gently when she moved closer towards him, her body subconsciously seeking him out and only resting when her hands came into contact with his chest. His smile grew wider as he leaned over her slightly, dipping down to bring his lips to her neck softly, his few day old stubble grazing her skin as she started to stir beneath him. 

He felt how her hands slowly came up to caress his bare back, her fingertips grazing his skin up and down as she allowed a contented sigh to pass her lips. Her eyes were still closed when Dean started to travel his kisses. He moved from her neck to the edge of her jaw, rolling himself over on top of her whilst supporting his weight with his forearms. He worked his way down to her chest, peppering kisses across her smooth skin as he travelled lower down her body, the cotton sheet draped over him. He heard how she sucked in a sharp breath as his mouth worshipped her, his lips stopping just shy of her navel to allow a wicked grin to spread across his face. 

Without warning, Dean sucked in a deep breath and blew the biggest and wettest raspberry on Y/N’s stomach. The shriek that left her mouth made him grin and brace for what was to come; her laughter. It filled his soul with such joy whenever she laughed, the sound was his favourite thing to listen too. She threw the sheet off of his back, her wide joyful eyes staring down at him as she tried to fight him playfully off of her. Skillfully, he worked his way back up her body, his fingers dancing along her ribs as he tickled her mercissly. Her laughter, her smiles, her beauty...

This was his happy place. 

-

Yesterday, Dean had stepped out of line. He’d hurt Y/N with his words, not intentionally, he’d never intentionally hurt her but he had ruined their joyus morning by allowing his own fears to drive his thoughts. After enjoying breakfast in bed, literally and figuratively, they had begun to pack their bags ready for the short drive back to reality. Y/N, being the switched on and dedicated hunter that she was, began to check her phone for anything that remotely seemed interesting to them in the surrounding area. She was always trying her best to help somebody, always wanting to do the best for people, always putting them first even if it meant putting her life on the line. She was selfless.

With her phone in hand, Dean watched from the edge of the bed as she bit gently down on her thumb nail, a sign that she was reading something interesting. He swallowed the fear that started to creep up from his gut, instead he tried to focus on packing the rest of his clothes back into his duffel. 

“Hey, there’s a case not too far from here. Sounds like ghouls,” Y/N announced, spinning on her feet to turn to look at him, “want to check it out?” she asked, a hopeful look on her face. 

“We’ll call one of the other hunters, set them on it,” he answered quickly, his focus not leaving the duffel in front of him as he placed it on his lap. He couldn’t handle seeing the dejected look on her face that he knew he’d put there. 

“But this is on our way back to the bunker,” she started, walking closer towards him to show him the article on her phone. “We could drop in, handle it and be home in 48 hours,” she continued but Dean just gently shook his head, refusing to look at the phone. 

“And there could be a hunter closer to it than us,” he countered, standing from the bed before he turned and zipped the duffel closed. He heard how she let out a little frustrated huff and he prepared himself for what was to come next, her inevitable argument in which she tries to convince him. 

“Come on, Dean. We’ve not been on a hunt, just me and you, in forever,” she said in a saddened tone, her phone sliding into the back of her jeans pocket as her eyes never left his.

“I said no, Y/N,”  he affirmed, turning around to face her. His tone was sharper than he had intended so he didn’t miss the small flinch she gave when his words hit her; they had definitely stung. 

She shook her head, a tiny frown creasing at her brow as she studied him for a slight moment, her eyes flicking between his. 

“What is with you lately?” she questioned, crossing her arms across her chest as she began to guard herself. Dean just shrugged, his shoulders shaking in a nonchalant manner to try and indicate that nothing was wrong. But Y/N wasn’t that dumb to fall for it and he knew it. “No, it’s something. Come to think of it, since we’ve been this,” she gestures back and forth from herself and Dean with her hand, “we’ve not been on one single hunt. It’s just been research and sending out other hunters to the jobs that I could easily do,” she recalled, her eyes boring up into his as she waited for his answer. 

“I think you’re overthinking it,” Dean blew her off, waving a hand around as he walked towards the bathroom. 

“No, I think there’s an issue here somewhere,” she stated, following him, her arms now loose at her sides. “Do you not want to hunt with me anymore?” she questioned him causing him to stop in his tracks. He turned to look at her, taking a moment to study her face as he swallowed hard. He didn’t have to give her his answer, the way her face fell and eyes watered told him she already knew. “Oh my god, you don’t want me to hunt anymore,” she whispered, her hand coming up to run through her hair. 

Dean panicked slightly, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to hunt with her anymore. It was that he didn’t want her to end up hurt or worse. He’d finally got a good thing in his life, and he wanted to cherish that until he couldn’t cherish it anymore. 

“We’ve got a bunker full of hunters, does it really matter if one of us is out the game? That one of us can have a chance at normal?” he voiced back at Y/N, stepping one foot closer to her as he tried to reach for her hands but she just pulled back, a tear threatening to fall down her cheek.

“Oh but it’s ok for you to continue to hunt?” she fired at Dean. 

“I’ve been doing this longer than you,” he countered, hoping his point would stand. 

“So?” she spat, the frown in her brow deepening as her hands came to her hips. 

“So, I know what’s best in this situation, feelings make you sloppy.” The words left his mouth before he could think. His green eyes went wide and the broken look written on her face made him feel sick to his stomach. 

“So, i’m sloppy now, is that it? Just because I’ve fallen into a bed with you?” she whispered, hurt lacing her words as they quavered slightly, her arms loosening at her sides. 

“No, Y/N,” he breathed, instantly regretting what he’d said. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” He tried reaching for her once more but she pulled back, not wanting his comfort.  

“Here’s what I know,” she started, holding a finger in the air as her glassy Y/E/C eyes stared him down. “I know that I'm good at what I do. I know that I can hit a moving target with a kill shot, I know i’ve saved your ass more times than I can count and I know that I definitely don’t want a boyfriend who controls what I can and cannot do,” she barked, her voice strong as she backed off even more to grab at her bag from her side of the bed. 

“Y/N-” 

“Just don’t,” she interrupted him, storming past Dean as fast as she could with her bag in hand as she left the room, slamming the door as she went. 

He flinched at the sound, collapsing back down onto the mattress with his head in his hands as he thought over what had just happened. The perfect morning had been ruined because he wanted to keep her safe. 

-

Yesterday, he was driving 80mph down a highway, tears tickled his cheeks as he pushed the accelerator to the floor. He shouldn’t have let Y/N walk out of that room, he shouldn’t have let her out of his sight but his stubbornness prevented his feet from following her. He should have chased her down and told her that he was an idiot and that of course he wanted to hunt with her. He’d do anything he could to protect her. He should have protected her. 

 Dean slammed his way through the hospital doors, the metal bouncing off the walls due to the force of his entry. His panicked eyes were scanning everything in the room, looking for a sign to take him to reception, looking for the sign that would take him to her. He moved as fast as his legs would carry him, colliding himself with the desk causing the receptionist to jump back slightly in shock. He spoke quickly, reeling off Y/N’s name as his fingers gripped the edge of the desk, his knuckles going white. 

As soon as he was told that she was in ICU, he drowned out the rest of her words as he turned to rush towards the stairs. He took them two, three at a time, his hand gripping the railings to give him the extra pull he needed to allow him to get to her that little bit quicker. However, he wasn’t prepared for the sight he was about to see, the sight that would cripple him and take all air from his lungs. 

She lay in her hospital bed, her arms either side of her frame, her legs straight; unmoving. Her head was bandaged, bruising covering the side of her face, her mouth slightly agape due to the breathing apparatus that was assisting her. Her perfect petal like lips were cut and grazed, the hair that was loose from the bandage was matted with blood. A wave of nausea washed over him, this was his fault. This was all his fault. 

“Excuse me, Sir?” a deep voice sounded next to him. It took Dean a moment for him to realise that someone was trying to talk to him but as he turned his head to the side, he noticed the doctor that was standing next to him with a clipboard. “Are you immediate family to Miss Y/L/N?” 

“She’s...she’s my fiance,” he lied, thinking quickly on the spot. It wasn’t a complete lie, the thought had crossed his mind on more than one occasion.  “W-what’s happened? She’s going to be ok right?” he stammered, his head flicking from the doctor to motionless Y/N on her bed. Taking a deep breath, the doctor pulled him to one side, away from the room's window. 

“Sir, Miss Y/L/N was in a very serious accident. She’s suffered multiple fractures, a collapsed lung and a significant bleed on the brain,” he explained, looking down at his clipboard before looking back up to see a crestfallen Dean. 

“But she’s going to be ok,” Dean quavered, staring down the doctor who didn’t reply to him straight away, “tell me she’s going to be ok?!” he panicked, his voice rising. 

“The prognosis of this...it’s not good,” the doctor admitted softly, offering a sincere look to the eldest Winchester. “We’ve done all we can to make her comfortable but-”

“No,” Dean cut him off, his hands grabbing at his hair before he pointed at her room, his eyes glassy. “No, you need to fix this, she doesn’t deserve this!”

“Sir, I promise you we’ve done all we can,” the doctor told him before looking over at her room himself. “I’ll leave you two alone, i’ll be just down the corridor if you need me.”

All Dean could do was nod, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth as he built up the courage to walk through the door to her. He roughly wiped at the stray tears that were resting on his cheeks before he took a deep breath and entered her room. All that could be heard was the sound of the ventilator and the heart monitor beeping in the silence, the indicator that she was still with him. 

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, his voice slightly shaky as he shut the door behind him. “Now’s not the time to be sleeping you know? We’ve got everyone waiting on us back at the bunker,” he half chuckled, his nose sniffling as he took a seat next to Y/N’s bed. He couldn’t look directly at her just yet, the sight of her injuries were too much for him in that moment. Instead, he reached for her hand, his thumb caressing the few scrapes she had over her knuckles. A quick bleep from his pocket pulled his attention away from her for just a moment as he reached down to pull out his phone. 

“That’s Sam, he’s on his way to see you. You gotta wake up before he gets here otherwise he’ll be torturing you by reading lore books to you,” he croaked, his hand coming back to slip into hers. “You’ve got to prove all of these docs wrong.” His request was met with more silence, he watched for the slightest bit of movement, a twitch, a smile but there was nothing. His heart was becoming heavy, the regret of that afternoon was becoming too much for him to bear. 

“I should have followed you out that door, I should have stopped you from leaving. We should have just gone on that damn hunt, if we had, this...you...it wouldn’t have happened,” he choked out, one hand coming to wipe the tears from his face as he laid eyes on her. It should be him in that bed, not her. He brought Y/N’s hand to his lips before he gently kissed her knuckles, holding her hand close to the stubble on his cheek. 

"Hey, remember that time we went out in the middle of the night because you wanted to look up at the stars? I thought you were insane, it was freezing out. But you grabbed a couple of blankets, made some hot chocolate and we were out within the hour," he recalled, a small smile stretching the corner of his lips at the memory. "I’ll tell you a secret. That was the night I fell hard, the night I looked over and saw your smile under the stars." Dean took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he went over the moment in his mind. "We stayed there talking until you had the idea to go and get a tattoo of a star to remember that moment," he breathed. "To this day no one else knows about that tattoo and that’s what i love, those little things that only i know, those little things that make you mine.”

He couldn’t help the sob that escaped his lips, his tears falling onto your entwined hands. He needed her to wake up, he needed her to be kicking his ass for leaving his pants on the floor or not putting his dishes in the sink. He needed his Y/N back. 

“If you can hear me, I need you to know that...I need you to know you’re it. Y/N, you’re it for me. You're the place my life begins and you're the place it ends," he wept, "there ain't no me if there ain't no you." He sniffed as he finally allowed his tears to fall freely, not wiping them away or intercepting them as he stood to lean over her, attempting to brush some of the stray bloody hairs out of her beautiful face. " I need you to stay with me, Y/N," he whispered as he looked down upon her. 

With her hand still in his, he swallowed hard as his eyes scanned over every single detail of her features once again. He’d give anything to kiss those lips, to hear her laugh just one more time. All he could do was hope, hope that she had heard his words, hope that she would pull through against all the odds. Shakily, he slowly leaned down and placed a long, soft kiss to her forehead. He poured all of his feelings into that kiss, wishing he could pass on his strength to her. Upon removing his lips, he replaced them with his own forehead, resting it against hers as he willed himself to speak the words he’d never had the courage to say. 

“I love you.” 

The steady beat of the heart monitor blurred into one long constant sound. It took a moment for Dean to register what was happening. He pulled his head off hers quickly as he looked at the monitor next to him. Y/N had flatlined. 

His whole world appeared to slow down, the doctors that were rushing in around him felt like they were going in slow motion. He was being pulled back and out of the room, not realising that he was screaming her name at the top of his lungs, his throat hoarse from his cries. He watched on desperately as the medical staff worked tirelessly to save her. He watched as they performed CPR. He watched as she slipped away from him. His green eyes were trained on the doctor that had stopped the chest compressions, the doctor that stood back to look at his watch, the doctor that called it. 

“Time of death, 11.52pm.” 

-

Yesterday, Y/N got knocked over by someone who was doing double the speed limit as she stepped out into the road. In that split moment, Dean’s life had been changed forever. He was so scared of losing her to the supernatural world that he’d forgotten about the dangers of normality. Now here he was, minutes after midnight the next day, on his knees outside of her room, tears streaming down his cheeks as his mind tried to process what had just happened as his eyes stayed focused on her bed. He hadn’t realised that Sam was by his side, his mouth moving frantically with worry, but no words were being heard by Dean. 

Yesterday morning, he was in his happy place, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Yesterday afternoon, he made the wrong decision and he had to watch her walk out of the door and unknowingly, out of his life. 

Yesterday came suddenly. 

——————————————

A/N: I hope you’ve enjoyed this little one shot! Please let me know your thoughts by comment, reblog or just HERE! :)

Also - my tag lists are open. Just let me know if you want to be added! Thanks for reading! xox

My Forever Babes:

@squirrel-moose-winchester​ / @snffbeebee​ / @cappsikle​​ / @couldabeenamermaid​ / @spaghettiwoes​ / @lynne1993​ / @maddiepants​ / @alwaysdreamingforthebest​ / @31shadesofbrown​ / @mrswhozeewhatsis​  / @thefaithfulwriter​​ / @spnbaby-67​​ / @not-quite-dead​ / @blackcherrywhiskey​​ / @helpmeluci​​ / @myownsnowflake​​ / @hobby27​​ / @big-sad-energy​ / @coffee-obsessed-writer​ / @spnhollis​​ / @zoerayne2426​​/ @ariasnyder​​ / @phantom-soilder​​ / @amandamdiehl​​ / @geeksareunique​​ / @keymology​​ / @markofdean79​​ / @flamencodiva​​ / @jesseswartzwelder​​ / @stoneyggirl​​ / @cpag7​​ / @heavensangel45135​​ / @dapresidentsshoelaces​​ / @donnaintx​​ / @deanwinchesterficsx​​ / @tranquility-or-chaos​​ / @katehuntington​​ / @miraclesoflove​​ / @shay-rav​​ / @pisces-cutie​​ / @chocolateheart​​ / @missafairy​​

Dean Queens:

@x-waywardaf-x​​ / @adoptdontshoppets​​ / @roonyxx​​ / @akshi8278​​ 

[alyasalias]

Dabi Theory

I have a theory that Dabi is secretly on the Hero-side of things...or at least not 100% on the Villain's side. Spoilers for the Training Camp Arc as well as for the latest fights in the manga. You have been warned.

I've been re-reading HeroAca lately and I'm currently at the Summer Training Camp arc. I just got to the point where Eraserhead is fighting the Dabi clone and I noticed something odd: what Dabi said. Dabi tipped them off to the fact that the students were the target. Sure, what he said could have been a jab at the heroes...but I wonder if perhaps it was a veiled message like what Hawks did with Endeavor and the book.

Magne was quick to figure out the fact that someone spilled the beans on "Bakugo Katsuki" being their target and she/they seemed really panicked that it had been found out. Through the process of elimination, she/they deduced that Izuku must have fought Muscular, 'cuz there were only a couple of people on their team that she/they believed could have been the leak. It seemed like secrecy was a big deal for this band of villains.

Dabi's a smart guy as well. We've seen very little of him, and know even less about him...but we know he's calculating. We know he's not impulsive or whatever. He was the one in charge of recruiting Hawks when recruitment was usually Twice's job. He was the one that had the most contact with Hawks and also the one that trusted Hawks the least out of all of the Villains. He even lied to Hawks about the Nomu attack. "It was supposed to be tomorrow--in a different location"--Hawks said to him. Through his actions, we can kind of infer that Dabi is a cunning and calculating sort of person. I don't think he's done anything on impulse. He doesn't seem like some for-laughs villain that'll spill the beans for fun.

So...yeah, what the Dabi-clone said to Eraserhead got me thinking: what if Dabi has been on their side all along...or at least he's not 100% on All For One's side. He joined the League claiming to be inspired by Stain or whatnot...so the whole "punish the 'Heroes' that aren't selfless enough" sort of thing. We know that Twice doesn't control what the clones think, know, or feel. The clones know everything that the originals know at the point they were cloned, so the Dabi-clone wasn't saying all of that because it was Twice's words...they were Dabi-prime's words/thoughts/actions.

Dabi's a smart guy--he always has been. He had know way of knowing what Eraserhead and the teachers/adults knew. It was a chaotic situation--the teachers were panicking, trying to corral all of the students to the building. The students were scattered over a large area. There was mass confusion--that would have been clear. It would have been safe to assume the teachers didn't know what the Villains were after or even if they had a goal in mind for this particular attack. For USJ they had a clear objective: they wanted to kill All Might but All Might wasn't there when they got there--they admitted that much. Hosu and the Hero-Killer incident(s) were a bit more of an unknown for the side of the Heroes, and the way everyone talked about it made it seem like they believed Stain had joined the League and that's why the Nomu were there...so as far as the Villains know, the Heroes believed that Hosu was a coordinated attack with the Hero-Killer simply to attack things. Then we come to the training camp..."the students are the target" wouldn't be their first thought, I'm pretty sure. If I were one of the teachers I'd be thinking, "crap--do they think All Might's at this camp?" or even "damn...they found us somehow. Is there a traitor in our midst that leaked the information or is it just a coincidence that the Villains are here now and they decided to attack for no reason like in Hosu?" Officially, to the characters within the HeroAca universe at least, the students haven't been the target of Villain attacks. They were involved, but they weren't the primary targets at any point up to the present.

Dabi's a smart guy, so I don't think he'd leak information even in jest. He seems like the type to keep his mouth shut rather than go for a way to rile up his opponent. He had nothing to gain from tipping off Eraserhead to the fact that the students were their target. Sure, it'd cause a panic and it'd take a while for the teachers to narrow down which student they were after...and maybe Dabi hoped to capitalize on the confusion that sort of panic would spread...or on the despair aspect if they failed to realize it was Katsuki until the last moment. However...I just don't think Dabi's that sort of person.

I think Dabi intentionally leaked the information to Eraserhead and disguised it as a jest. He intentionally waited until the clone was dying before he said it too and we've already established that the clones think/feel/know/act independently from Twice. Twice doesn't control the clones.

So...yeah...why leak the information, right? I have two theories on that. It's possible that Dabi's a secret agent--like Hawks--sent by some Hero commission or agency or whatever to infiltrate the League. Maybe a group realized that the whole "inspired by Stain and he was working with the League" rationale was a good cover and they sent Dabi in. Personally, I don't see too much support for this theory as of yet. We don't have anything on Dabi's backstory. Even his reveal to Hawks on what his real name was or whatever was blacked out in the manga. It's only fan theories that suggest he's Todoroki Touya. My second theory, and the one I think is more probable at this point with the evidence we have: Dabi is very much like Spinner--he's not on the Hero's side or the Villain's side, he's a man who was inspired by Stain and wants to do something about the plague of undeserving 'Heroes'. We see that sort of story play out in other media too--in the Doctor Strange movie they portrayed pre-mystic-arts-Strange as a pompous doctor that chose his cases based on the fame it would awarrd him rather than on saving lives. Heroes in it for the fame or for the money exist in HeroAca too and Stain hated them--All Might and Deku are currently the only people he believes worthy of the title of 'Hero'. Spinner held fast to those ideals, stopping Magne from killing Izuku during the training camp. It proved to me that Spinner, at the very least, isn't fully aligned with the League. He's following what he believes are Stain's ideals. He'll go along with their plans and whatever so long as All Might and Izuku aren't harmed (from what we've seen so far). I wonder if Dabi's the same way...but slightly more cunning. We know Spinner was a NEET and whatever before joining the League and at times he seems kind of lost or like he's being indoctrinated more and more into the League. If I assume Dabi's "smarter" than Spinner and that he did his homework on Stain...I believe that it's possible Dabi tipped off Eraserhead to the students being the target because of his beliefs. Stain wouldn't want to harm the children. The children aren't Heroes. Sure, they're Heroes-in-training and some of them have motivations that Stain would detest...but Stain did try to spare Tenya when he first saw him and realized that he was just a student. Maybe Dabi decided that an attack on students at a training camp wasn't in-line with Stain's ideals. They brought the fight to the students without provocation. Nobody said "well, this will be a hit to Hero society and All Might if we were to kill/kidnap a few students at camp". Their objective was to capture Bakugo Katsuki because they believed him to have the ideals of a Villain due to what they saw of him at the Sport's Festival. Stain wasn't interested in making Villains. In his own way, Stain was trying to create a better society. He was trying to get Heroes to wake up to the heart of the matter--to be altruistic and all. He wanted to create a world where Heroes did things for the sake of the people--not for fame, Hero-points, or money.

The more I think about this, the more I'm thinking that Dabi's tip-off that the students were the target was deliberate. He may not have been on the side of the Heroes, but he didn't want to see kids get kidnapped or killed. He didn't engage any of the students directly either. Their task was to capture Katsuki and go away and he recalled the Nomu just in time--preventing it from killing some students (potentially unknowingly). Also, there's that scene where he's clearly staring at the bushes that Aoyama was hiding behind. It's likely that he saw Aoyama and chose not to fight/kill a cowering student.

This theory also fits in with the latest fight we saw with Dabi too. Dabi vs. Hawks and Tsukuyomi. Hawks is number 2 on the Hero charts--the chart that Stain would have disapproved of. Hawks is a super popular Hero--he's famous--that's something else Stain would hate. Saving people's lives shouldn't become a spectacle or something that makes someone famous or whatever in their eyes. So...I think that Dabi wasn't just wary of Hawks joining the League...I think that if Dabi's an avid Stain-follower he never trusted Hawks in the first place because he disliked what Hawks represented in Hero society--#2 Hero of a broken system and basically the face of what hero-fame looks like. Stain wouldn't approve of Hawks being some super popular symbol. He can save people and make it look effortless with his feathers and whatever...Stain would probably be angry that Hawks gets paid to do it and that he gets all the fame and whatever...like "if it's gonna be that effortless for you and whatnot, then do it and move on...you should be doing it and you shouldn't be basking in the praise and glory--just save the people without stopping to be thanked and praised." It also fits with Tsukuyomi being able to run away with Hawks too. Lights are Dark Shadow's weakness and Dabi's is a fire Quirk--it would have been a really bad match up. Maybe they only got away because Dabi realized a couple of things: 1) Tsukuyomi was a student and 2) Tsukuyomi was acting like a true Hero in that moment. He wasn't just following orders or saving Hawks for the fame and glory. He saw his mentor up there and he moved without thinking to protect someone he saw needed help. He stood up to face Dabi, putting himself between the one that needed saving (Hawks) and the threat (Dabi) despite the fact that they were a poor match up. Stain would probably approve of Tsukuyomi's actions here--staring death in the face for no reason other than "I saw someone that needed help and I came to give them help".

[quinnofcastleport]

do you know your enemy | jainn

WHO: Quinn Fabray & James Evans (w mention of @inkedsevans​, Stacy Evans & Maggie Evans & vaguely the Fabrays)

WHAT: Quinn, newly punk’d, draws a line in the sand & drags Mr. Evans over it with her.

WHERE: The Evans residence, Quinn’s car, and a place that will, God willing, help.

WHEN: Sunday or Monday before Thanksgiving, 2k19.

WARNINGS: Alcoholism, mention of death. It’s also just weirdly sad and nostalgic?

Quinn was sitting in the driveway of the Evans' house. Sam was gone for the evening - she'd managed to ascertain that much, which was good, because she was positive that doing this with him would go from incredibly difficult to impossible. She didn't need to start a brawl or a therapy session or get Sam's stubborn face against his father's. She was already going to have to bend herself into a pretzel for this.

But it was necessary, so.

With one final check of her makeup in the mirror - the shock of pink hair was still surprising - Quinn got out of the car. The door was unlocked, because of course it was, so Quinn let herself in.

"Mr. Evans?" Quinn called, glancing around doubtfully. "Mr. Evans, where are you?" None of his buddies had seen him yet, which meant that he was likely here somewhere. Just...potentially unconscious, which may or may not make everything more difficult.

"It's Quinn? Fabray? Mr. Evans?"

The glass of whiskey sat in front of him, moisture collecting around the glass bottom, sure to leave a ring atop the spotless wooden table. He hadn't taken a sip yet, but it was a fresh glass...or would've been two hours prior. James Evans' head was spinning but he was, for the most part, lucid. The house was quiet...then again it always was. And he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his son. Sam's shoulders were always so tight, his mouth set in a line as he moved as quietly around the house as he always did. They could never quite catch one another.

He'd lifted the glass, inspecting the amber liquid and pointedly ignoring the slight tremble in his fingers. The spill of the whiskey, running over the rim and splashing atop the table, mixing with the condensation already there.

Someone would clean it up. A voice rang out in the house, and James stirred. A woman's voice calling him. Not Stacy's. His daughter would never be so formal.

Brow furrowed, he stood, swaying slightly and he had to palm the table to steady himself, but managed to make it out of the kitchen, down the hallway and into the living room. For a moment he considered he was hallucinating, the trick of the light with vibrant hair and his heart lurched, followed by an ugly jolt in his stomach as the person called his name. God in heaven...Maggie....

The voice was different. The hair...less auburn and...pink. Shaking his head, he focused back, clearer eyes landing on her face. The Fabray girl. "Quinn? What's going on?"

"Good," Quinn said, "you're awake. I'm going to speak with you now." Quinn moved into the kitchen and sat at the little table there, raising her eyebrows expectantly for him to join her. "I'll tell you what's going on, I'll tell you what we're doing, and then you and I are going to do what you and I need to do to accomplish our goals."

It hurt her, seeing him like this. It was a buried memory, buried intentionally after everything with Sam and Mercedes, after Maggie, after he started changing. But nothing stayed buried forever, and it was like a hologram - the old James. Exuberant and funny and madly in love with his wife, the house full of laughter and the sensation of home.

It had been everything her home, her family, her life hadn't been, and she'd been happier in these walls for a few hours than she was in a lifetime at the Fabrays. Now the house felt like a mausoleum and it felt like she was staring at a ghost.

She relented, dropping the formality. "Please come sit with me, Mr. Evans. There's something I really need your help with. Please."

James didn't know what to make of the situation, or the girl...young woman in front of him. Looking nothing like the Quinn he could faintly recall. And it wasn't the hair. He watched the straight line of her spine as she marched in, brushing past him for the kitchen and the spot he just vacated.

Foolishly, there wasn't much else for him to do but follow. He took the opposite seat, eyes falling to the still sweating glass but he made no move to touch it. Toss it out, or drink it. After the cursory glance, reddened olive eyes focused on Quinn. "You said you need help with something...what's wrong? Is it Sam? Stacy?"

"Yes," Quinn said, doing her best to just ignore the glass on the table - at least it wasn't empty, but Quinn swore the next thing she was doing was bringing in a team of professionals to clean the place, top to bottom. She also did her best to ignore the panging in her heart; she'd nearly forgotten how much she adored him, and apparently now was a good time to remember.

"It's both of them," Quinn continued, voice still somber but less severe. "And me, too." And the whole damn town. "I need your help keeping them from misery, Mr. Evans. Neither of them are doing well. They're both just...coping. Stacy's so close to graduating and Sam has the potential to create a real, standing career - a whole business for himself." Quinn swallowed. "I have less on the line. But I'd be lying if I were to say I wasn't emotionally invested in this, too, and I wasn't ever really able to lie to you." Quinn's soft laughter came out nervous, and she took a moment before continuing.

"I'm not exaggerating, Mr. Evans, and I'm not being dramatic when I say this is more important than I can express, and that making any kind of progress will make your children so much happier." And I'm only trying to guilt you a little bit. "You're the only one who can help us. Me, Stacy, Sam...and you don't even need to do much." Except stop having an addictive personality and a lack of willpower and also stop having alcohol--

He looked so much like Sam, and her heart gave an unfunny thud-thud. This could be Sam, someday, and she immediately resolved to prevent that, no matter the cost.

"Will you help us? Please?"

The weight of Quinn's words settled on his shoulders and his gaze drifted downwards, connecting again with the glass sweating on table top. It was one thing, to settle into the routine of ruining himself after so many years of fighting it. To be aware of the harm it'd brought to his children. But to have it laid bare for him, in ways he'd avoided for years...the shame washed over him.

The shame always did. Ugly and sour in a way he loathed, so he drank to wash the taste away but it never strayed far. The disappointment in his daughter's eyes and the cold, quiet anger of his son kept it there, ensuring all he'd ever needed to do was have a little more. Enough to silence it all.

But there was Quinn, sitting in his kitchen, looking much like how she used to in that very spot...but nothing like it. And speaking of help in a way that James didn't think he deserved. But his family did. And he could try for once to shift the burden of his problem from his children and place it down. Needing to be unpacked. Could it be that easy? No. Would he try? For them...he would.

"Where are they?" James ducked his head again, swallowing thickly. He scrubbed a hand down his face, stomach souring at the smell of liquor that seemed to seep through every pore. "I...okay. I'll help."

"Stacy is at school. I think Sam is at the bar, but I hope he's not. I hope he's just..." Quinn sighed. "Having fun. Or sleeping. Either would be acceptable." She sighed again, eying James more carefully. This was the tricky part, the threading the needle.

She got up and moved around the table, so that she was sitting next to him. She caught one of his hand in both of hers, met and held his eyes. Her hands still felt tiny compared to his.

"Do you remember," Quinn began, "when I'd come over? When Sam and I were young and Stacy was even younger?" Quinn half-smiled. "I'd come over and Sam and I would run around like little blond hellions and scream and play and all sorts of things I wasn't able to do at home..." she trailed off, but refocused quickly, giving his hand a little squeeze. "You might not remember, because it was a long time ago, and honestly I'd forgotten until recently - part of the game was you chasing us. When you caught us, you'd pick us up and spin and spin and spin until we were so dizzy we fell all the way down when we tried to run away."

Quinn realized with mounting horror/surprise that her eyes were watering. What the hell."I miss that version of you, Mr. Evans. And I know Sam and Stacy - they don't just miss it, they need it. They need their father. Take it from me, there's nothing like that feeling - they need you. And I have to hope that version of you still exists, somewhere, and I think you need you too. I hope you miss that version of you, but even if you don't...I know you love your children, and I know you love them enough to do what we need to do."

She let it sit for a moment, then cautiously reached up and very intentionally moved the glass as far away as she could, though she kept one hand holding onto his.

"So let's go get your jacket and we'll start helping Stacy and Sam." She hesitated for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was so much softer. "I know it will be hard, Mr. Evans. But I know you, I know your children, and...I remember Mrs. Evans." Quinn squeezed his hand again. "You've already done the hardest thing a person can do. This will be hard, but not as hard as what you've already survived."

Vaguely, he remembered. The memories faded in and out sometimes; the casualty of drinking to forget. But he remembered Quinn. Not with pink hair, and much younger, but still clutching his hand, both holding on tightly to his one and Sam hanging from the other as he spun them around, laughing at their shrieks and shouts for more. Visions that seemed so far removed from now.

Everyone, older. The house a little colder. When did it get so dark? And quiet. It was always quiet after Maggie left. There were days when he tried and most of them he didn't. And soon he'd slipped far from the man in those memories. In Quinn's words that she recalled with so much emotion and clarity. He didn't know if that version of himself was possible anymore. But this one, he knew couldn't last. And that was enough to try. For now.

"I remember." His voice was hoarse but he managed to return Quinn's squeeze with a gentle one of his own. "You never really forget. That's why..." James trailed off, heaving a tired sigh. "Everything stays with you. But I want...I need to help my kids."

Quinn allowed herself one moment of closed-eyed relief as he returned her gesture.

This was actually going to work.

(Maybe, maybe, maybe.) "Good," Quinn breathed. She stood and kept his hand, waiting for him to stand as well before she took them to the closet. She dug for a moment before she found his coat, which she handed to him to put on

 "Don't worry about packing," Quinn said, "I'll bring some fresh clothes." She paused, another idea floating through her mind. "And some mementos. For now, let's just get on the road." She moved toward the front door and waited there for him to follow to the car.

There wasn't much for James to do more than follow. It still seemed so surreal to him, clutching the hand of the girl (young woman) he hadn't seen in years. Despite the fact that once upon a time, had made herself comfortable in their lives.

Sam had mentioned she'd worked at the bar, and James could recall their conversation but things seemed to fade in and out. One moment he was up, shuffling into his coat and the next, he found himself in the cold, the chill of it knocking some life back into him before he settled in Quinn's car and buckled in.  

"Sam mention you help with the bar." James glanced over at Quinn. It was easier than watching the town whiz by. "Thank you, for that. I know...he's had to do a lot. He really appreciates you."

Quinn was glad it was dark, so he couldn't see the flush in her cheeks. An unfamiliar warmth crept from her heart to her stomach, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at herself - what was the point of the hair if her emotions were still like this. She couldn't find a way to respond to that, so she just cemented it in her mind. Sam appreciated her - enough to talk to his father about her. Okay. "He does do a lot," Quinn agreed as they pulled out of the driveway. "Too much." She was quiet for a long time, until they got out onto the highway.

"It's not just for him. Mostly, sure, because that place will break him down, but..." Quinn sighed. "I remember Mrs. Evans. I miss her. She wouldn't want it to be how it is. She wouldn't want Sam--" Quinn cut herself off, pursing her lips tightly for a brief moment. "So, you're welcome, I guess."

James gave a soft noise, mostly of agreement...and something he recognized as guilt. He couldn't recall the last conversation he had with his eldest. They'd stopped speaking to each other all long time ago, relegated to sparse sentences spoken in each others direction, that left James feeling far more disconnected than ever. It didn't feel fixable. Even sitting beside Quinn, on his way to someplace that...well he still didn't know. But if there was a way to ease the tension in his son's broad shoulders, physically holding onto so much...James would try.

He drifted back into the present, into Quinn's quiet words, mentions of Maggie and the reasons she'd settled for working at the bar. He wondered why she hadn't chosen the paper, her family's legacy, the kind of shit the town's elite bragged about in their get-togethers...but he was grateful for her being there nonetheless. "The bar's important to Sam. Wouldn't be there if it wasn't. But it's not his responsibility. It never was. I wanted him to get out, do something else. Be happy. But...he never liked doing shit the easy way...guess we have that in common." James pushed out a wry chuckle. "Maggie would've kicked my ass, knowing he was there instead of doing his own thing. She...she would've been proud of you, though. Going your own way."

You didn't want it enough, Quinn barely kept herself from saying. She opened her mouth to say something else, a kinder version of her vicious first reaction, but she was momentarily struck dumb--

She would've been proud of you. 

 All her life, the only things anyone had ever been proud of her for were the ones that made her soul shrink or her hands shake with guilt and fury, and even then she had to claw her way out of the shadow only she could see, the one cast by Frannie and her family, but Maggie--

Maggie would be proud of her.

Quinn's grip tightened on the steering wheel and she stayed quiet for a long time. "Now you have to kick your own ass," Quinn finally said, "and you have to want him to be able to go his own way, do his own thing, without falling apart. He won't do it if he thinks he's leaving his family to get hurt in exchange. He won't. That's not the man you raised." Quinn fell silent again, eyes glued to the road. Their destination wasn't truly very far, but there in the car it felt like it may as well be on another planet, for how liminal and eternal the highway felt.

"You have to want that more than you want to drink, Mr. Evans. You have to want it even when you want to drink more than you want to be alive. You have to want what Mrs. Evans would want enough for both of you, because she can't want anything anymore. It has to be you, for Stacy and Sam and her, too. You have to want him to have a tattoo parlor and her to be a real doctor more than you want to be numb and deadened and mostly asleep and forgetful and floaty. You have to want that more than you want this, Mr. Evans."

Quinn didn't know if he could do it. She, cynically, thought this would all come to a waste of time and effort. But she'd never quite ground out the furious bit of hope that lived in the very bottom of her heart, and she felt it now. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The words hit him, Quinn's voice never rising above her usual rasp but somehow managed to land like heavy blows. And the guilt swelled within him, swirling with the shame of letting down his wife and abandoning his family. Some days, the self-loathing would choke him, and those were the times he felt like he'd needed it the most, the drinking.

To drown out the disappointment and the anger that roiled in him. He didn't want to wallow in that anymore, or in the quiet that came with his drinking. While he wouldn't exactly call what he felt towards Quinn in that moment 'grateful', with the sting of it all still needling at him, James could understand it. His response was a quiet hum, though he was sure she wasn't looking for one anyway. He wasn't made for empty words and promises and he had nothing to offer in the way that he was sure she'd even accept. Or that he'd even believe. His gaze shifted instead, looking out the passenger side window when the car stopped and the building that came into view. They were some ways away from Castleport, in a town he could vaguely recall but the details seemed fuzzy. He didn't dwell though. Simply looked over to Quinn and then back at the facility before exhaling long and slow.

"Let's go."

[anonarat]

Looking at Ciconia no Naku Koro Ni from the perspective of Knox’s Decalogue:

(Contains spoilers for Ciconia no Naku Koro Ni and The Murder of Roger Ackroyd)

The first question is who is our detective?

Given that they hold the lion’s share of the POV time, I am assuming that this is Miyao.

The second question is more interesting: what is the mystery that is being solved?

There are a few murders in Ciconia where the originator is unknown. That I can think of, there’s the murder/accident of the VIPs at LATO and the murder of Rethabile’s brother. The problem is, both of these happen late in the story, and there isn’t too much direct investigation of these.

Another possibility is the question of who the infiltrators of the Ninth Prime Chivalric Order are, but there is a problem with that which I will discuss later. The final mystery that I can think of is: who is behind all these events?

Knox’s first - It is forbidden for the culprit to be anyone not mentioned in the early part of the story.

There are two possible sides to this. The first is that this title goes to Jestress and the Three Kings. The issue here is that there is no actual proof that these people even exist. Perhaps more accurately, Miyao can at least intuit that someone is behind these events, but there is no reason for him to assume it’s the Three Kings as opposed to any other group. As the Three Kings are all masked, one could argue that they are Gauntlet Knights (or are one of the few named adults), but it seems unlikely.

The other side is that the Three Kings don’t exist. If the Three Kings don’t exist, then the Ninth Prime Chivalric Order likely doesn’t exist either. That means that one of the potential mysteries doesn’t exist, so the only other question is the one of the instigator. There are very few candidates for this position, and Tojirou is top of the list.

This is why the question of who is in the Ninth Prime Chivalric order is a tricky one to even consider.

Knox’s second -  It is forbidden for supernatural agencies to be employed as a detective technique.

The only character or thing that seems to fit into this is MetaMiyao, and their prophecies. This may also fall under Knox’s Fourth, but I’ll get to that later. Either way, this means we should discount all scenes with MetaMiyao. Due to the way the scenes work, it’s hard to tell for definite that they are being fully experienced by Miyao. I think the only time Miyao references things said by MetaMiyao is when he’s talking to MetaMiyao.

Knox’s third - It is forbidden for hidden passages to exist.

There are two ways to look at this, both absurd. The first is that given the nature of the mystery, how would a hidden passage even be relevant. The other one would be to consider hidden Selcom chat rooms, and that is a deadly rabbit hole and not quite in keeping with the spirit of the rule.

Knox’s fourth -  It is forbidden for unknown drugs or hard to understand scientific devices to be used.

Ahahaha. Just look at all the various bits of technology in this world. You’ve got P3 levels, Gauntlets, the 8MS system to name a few. Ciconia takes this rule and tears it up.

Let us try accepting the things that have been explained in this story, that leaves us with ‘knowledge’. We must therefore assume pretty much every scene with Vier is not even relevant. We must also assume that the attempt to prevent the Three Kings using LATO that was foiled by Seshat didn’t happen. If we consider that, at no point do Valentina or Maricarmen mention it to Miyao, so we can consider it as not happening.

This really does call the question of whether the Three Kings even exist into further question.

Knox’s fifth - X

This rule isn’t used in Umineko; however I have looked it up. Knox’s fifth is more of a reaction to the stories being told at the time than something that should be relevant in the modern day.

Knox’s sixth -  It is forbidden for accident or intuition to be employed as a detective technique.

This is an interesting one. From Miyao’s perspective, the only logical conclusion is that these events have been orchestrated by a single mastermind, but he has no hard evidence of this. In his terms he lacks the necessary ‘eyes’ to gather information, let alone conclusively say that an instigator really exists.

I suppose the only exception to this is the drone attack, but the information that the reader is provided is absolutely minimal. In fact, Miyao does very little detecting at all.

Knox’s seventh -  It is forbidden for the detective to be the culprit.

Miyao, the POV character almost certainly isn’t the culprit but... there’s more that needs to be discussed in Knox’s tenth.

Knox’s eighth -  It is forbidden for the case to be resolved with clues that are not presented.

At the current time, this one is impossible to judge. We’re not even sure of what the mystery is yet.

Knox’s ninth -  It is permitted for observers to let their own conclusions and interpretations be heard.

This is kinda common sense, although I suppose we could look at Knox’s ninth as behaving in a similar way to Purple Text in Umineko. This is more a tool for reasoning though, and I can’t think of an instance where Miyao has intentionally told us a falsehood.

Knox’s tenth -  It is forbidden for a character to disguise themselves as another without any clues.

Now this is an absolute monster of a rule. With a large number of Gauntlet Knights being CPPs, they can all neatly sidestep this rule. I feel this is especially pertinent in the case of Meow.

We know Meow exists, but can she be considered the detective? I’m not so sure. It’s hard to say whether we even get her as a POV character (I can’t recall if she gets some definite moments early on, but certainly none later). This means that it’s entirely feasible that Meow the AOU member of the Ninth Prime Chivalric Order (if it even exists) or an accomplice with what’s going on even if it didn’t. It’s sort of like a The Murder of Roger Ackroyd situation, where most people will assume that the character can’t even be considered because of Knox’s seventh.

The setting itself laughs in the face of Knox’s tenth, making it much less useful than it should be.

[imagine-loki]

The Powers That Be

TITLE: The Powers That Be

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Thirteen AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki discovering a hidden mutant when he realises they are at risk of being found by S.H.I.E.L.D. who experiments on mutants, he is the one to help them.

RATING: Teen and Up

“Alexia, wake up.” Alex felt someone shaking her slightly, opening one eye, she noticed it was Romanov. “We have to go.”

“It’s the middle of the night, go where?” She rubbed her eyes. “What is going on? When did you all get back?”

“Please, just come on.” Romanov pulled her out of the bed, causing Alexia to be forced to her feet.

“No, not until you tell me.” Alexia tried pulling her hand back, but Romanov kept a firm grip on it. “Let go of me.” The lights, which had been off, began to brighten.

“Don’t.” Romanov looked up at the ceiling.

“Let go of me.” Alexia put her left hand up. “One last warning.”

Romanov stared at the hand, wondering what it was that the other woman would do, but she pulled her forward again. “There is no time.”

Alexia concentrated and sent Romanov crashing into the far wall. “Make it.”

“What’s going on in here?” Barton came into the room to see Romanov on the floor rubbing her head, and a defensive looking Alexia, who was now glaring at him, her arm raised. “What happened, you were told to get her and go.” He looked at Romanov.

“Why?”

“You didn’t tell her?”

“I thought it would upset her.” Romanov got to her feet.

“What is happening?” Alexia looked between them. “They know I’m here.” She realised.

“We have about ten minutes, everyone else is outside,” Barton explained.

Alexia looked at them suspiciously. “How can I be sure you are not lying?”

“Seriously? We saved you ass remember.” Barton shouted indignantly. “Look if you want to be a guinea pig again, be my guest.” He held his hands up and left the room.

“Come on. Even if we are lying, you know you stand more of a chance outside.” Romanov walked out the door.

Conflicted, Alexia followed, grabbing a hoodie as she walked for the door. Sure enough, the rest of the avengers were outside and waiting.

“What took so long?” Rogers growled.

“She didn’t believe us.” Barton’s stated in exasperation. “She did something to Tasha.”

“In my defence, she came into my room in the dark and dragged me from my bed and wouldn’t tell me anything. Considering everything that has happened me of late, you cannot really blame my suspicion.” Alexia explained as she sat into the Quinjet. “Besides, I made sure it wouldn’t hurt.”

“So you intentionally did that?” Romanov stared at her.

“Yes. That’s why I said ‘One last warning’.” Alexia reminded her.

“But you intentionally threw me across the room, I mean, you planned to do exactly that?”

“Yes.” Alexia nodded as the jet took off.

“Well that little interaction actually cost us time and now we have a tail,” Hill commented as she assessed the radar.

“What have we?” Rogers looked out the window closest to him.

“Another jet. It will probably not have as many in it so it will be faster.” Hill responded.

“Allow me.” Stark brought the facemask of his suit to the correct position.

“Don’t harm them,” Rogers warned.

“I will take them down as safely as possible, but I am making no promises if they fire,” Stark stated as he went to the back of the jet and pressed the door release button before going outside.

“So you are able to control it somewhat now?” Romanov continued, Alexia nodded. “Is that why you were giggling in the shower the other day?” The men on the jet looked around in confusion, not sure if they were comfortable with the conversation that was being had.

“Yes. Sorry about earlier.”

“Trust no one,” Romanov stated. “It’s safer that way.”

“You trust me, though, right?” Barton winked.

“Not since Budapest.” Romanov gave a half grin back.

“Are we ever going to know what happened there, or is it going to be some sort of running joke between the two of you for the rest of our days?” Stark asked as he re-entered the plane. “Done, I just took out their engines and gently landed them.” He looked to Rogers. “Happy?”

“They didn’t deserve to die.” He argued.

“Would they say the same of us? SHIELD is not all cute fluffy bunnies and hugs you know.” Stark argued.

“They are only doing their job, I doubt they know the full story.”

“Any job that states, ‘kill a girl because well, we’re not telling you’, and you do so without question, that is the sort of job that you deserve anything you get in.” Stark retorted. “Oh, and they would have killed us too were we in the way, so yeah, that is being lenient on them.”

“It would not be right.”

“Neither would killing us for doing the right thing.”

“Please, both of you, stop arguing for more than forty seconds and someone tell us where to fly to.” Hill snapped as she looked around from the pilot’s seat.

No one could answer. They could not think of anywhere safe to go to now. “Do we have to stay in the States?” Romanov asked.

“What have you in mind?” Barton eyed her.

“Russia.”

“Whoa, that is a bit too much.” Stark put his hands up. “The last thing we need is them thinking spangles here wants to start trouble for them.” He pointed to Rogers.

“Russia also has their own groups like SHIELD that are as bad for their love of experimenting too, if you recall,” Barnes stated plainly. “I am sure they too would love to get their hands on a new weapon.”

“Well, what other choice do we have?” Romanov posed. “Has anyone any links in Europe, Australia?”

“How about the Caribbean?” Tony suggested.

“This isn’t a holiday Tony,” Romanov stated irritably.

“No, I get that, but no jurisdiction issues, and I own an island there.”

“You own an island? Of course you do.” Rogers commented to himself.

“Well then, I guess we better get the coordinates. Looks like we are going working on our tans.” Barton clapped his hands together. Hill and Romanov looked at him. “What, might as well make the best of a bad situation right?”

Alexia chuckled to herself before curling up on an uncomfortable seat and trying to continue her night’s rest, tucking her legs into her oversized hoodie before leaning back on the cold metal of the machine before closing her eyes.

When she awoke, she kept her eyes closed for a moment, wanting to curse about the discomfort her neck was in from her awkward sleeping position.

“So you have been training her, you said you were not going to go passed getting her to control it, you lying scum.” Barton’s voice growled.

“I had no idea she had been practising that herself until yesterday.”

“Bull.”

“It is true,” Barnes interjected. “I was there when she showed him, he had no idea.”

“I am actually impressed if what you are saying is true, she knowingly threw someone against a wall while trying to not harm them, that takes considerable power,” Loki stated.

“How powerful is she Loki?” Alexia could feel eyes on her as Thor spoke.

“I cannot tell. I cannot even tell what it is that she does exactly, but I can guarantee you this, she is powerful, more powerful than any could fathom a Midgardian to be. Everything we read and studied of Midgard, it never even suggested powers such as she has, and it is growing with her control, so long as she harnesses it, she will be the most powerful Midgardian to have ever existed.”

“And if she doesn’t harness it?” There was fear in her father’s voice.

“If she does not fully unlock it, then it should remain dormant and unused within her, which would be a waste. Why have such power and not use it?”

“It depends on what one would do with it I suppose. She doesn’t seem a ‘take over the world’ type, maybe a coffee shop, but not the world.” Stark rambled. “I wonder if SHIELD knows exactly what we have here?”

“If they did, they would send more than a jet after us, they would do everything and anything to obliterate her,” Romanov stated.

“That does not bear thinking about. Why do such things to a member of your own race?” Thor asked.

“She is not one of us, though, is she, she is something different now,” Barton argued.

“So what, we treat her as subhuman, how about we cage her for just having a few weird things in her blood. Man, humanity is never going to change is it?” Wilson snapped. “If it isn’t one type of person it’s another.”

No one argued his point. Alexia kept her eyes closed, still sensing eyes on her. She listened to the whir of the engines as time went by; thinking over and over what was said. She wasn’t like them, they obviously didn’t think so, she was a freak, something to be feared. It was all she could do to prevent tears flowing from her eyes in heavy streams as she waited for the plane to land. She thought of what she could do, what she would have to do if she just wanted to be able to live. As Hill declared their ETA to be another fifteen minutes, she tried to formulate a plan.

[lbcybersecurity]

Contemplating Change for Coding Competitions, Hackathons

As it enters its fourth year, Go Code Colorado, the statewide business app competition run by officials in the Secretary of State’s office, has produced several notable online tools.

Among them are Beagle Score, a website that rates state business locations; Hively, which lets companies compare job seekers’ skills and personalities early in the interview process; and Regulation Explorer, which helps the oil and gas industry resolve regulatory issues early in project development.

The challenge statement for this year’s event is a stripped-down call to action that widens the playing field for developers while recalling the event’s original vision: “Build an app that uses public data to solve a problem for a business decision-maker.”

Go Code Colorado began in 2014 with the goal of getting people to use and prove the value of data that state agencies were making public.

It was a chicken and egg problem in that “not a lot of agencies took the time to make their data accessible,” said event Program Manager Andrew Cole. “Not a lot of people knew public data was an asset they could use to create innovative solutions.”

But much has changed in the years since, as agencies around the nation have become increasingly transparent, publicized their data and invited others to fashion something useful from it. Having marked its kick-off weekend Feb. 1 with an appearance by Secretary of State Wayne Williams to a standing-room-only crowd, Go Code Colorado now inhabits a changed world that it helped shape.

Go Code's History

Initially piloted through the state budget, Go Code Colorado is now set in place by legislation. State agencies in Colorado increasingly acknowledge data’s burgeoning power. And from temperature trackers to opioid epidemic resources to pothole reporters, they and their peers around the nation are seeding the creation of a plethora of useful tools for residents.

So far as Cole and Colorado officials know, theirs is still the only state to host a “true statewide app challenge,” though other states and municipalities have sponsored and been involved in similar events.

Creator and engineer Wojciech Magda, who has been on three winning Go Code Colorado teams, said he agrees with that characterization and called it “very, very ambitious.”

“I know of citywide competitions but not anything statewide,” said Magda, a founder of both Beagle Score and Regulation Explorer.

Colorado Chief Data Officer Jon Gottsegen said showing what can be done with open data streams “definitely has strengthened our open data initiative.”

“One of the selling points that we say about opening up data is people start to use it in ways you never expected. That brings additional value to the data and to the state,” Gottsegen said.

But as its challenge date of April 27 nears, Go Code Colorado could be at something of a crossroads.

“We’re actually at a little bit of an inflection point. Whether we always have to run it in the form it lives right now, I don’t know,” Cole said. “It’s just something that, we don’t want to just keep doing the same thing for the sake of doing the same thing.”

In four years, the challenge has produced roughly five winning apps and tools that are still up and running, and around five that Cole said don’t appear to be “actively being pursued.”

Officials are pleased with the event’s results, having not based their success on the commercial viability of any tools created at the event. But they acknowledge it may also be time to reassess.

“The original goal, well, the kind of parallel goals when we set it up were to help expose, and in practice that means publishing, public data. And then the parallel goal was engaging people in using it. The challenge has been the primary way we have gone about the second part of that goal, but arguably the parallel goals together form a virtuous cycle,” Cole said, meaning that the two goals work together symbiotically.

Sean Wittmeyer, co-founder of Beagle Score with Magda, said he’s proud to have created one of just a few successful, winning tools at the event, which he said “feels Colorado.”

“In New York, it’s so fast-paced it’s go, go, go, ‘We need to build that.’ The West Coast, it’s, something hot is always around the corner. Colorado, we don’t have that fervor, we don’t have that intensity," Wittmeyer said. "We have people who make things, they make good things, and they keep making them better.”

Wittmeyer praised Go Code Colorado but also critiqued it — emphasizing he was not criticizing — as “stuck” between being a hackathon and a technology incubator. The event has attracted the right sponsors, he said, but its schedule isn’t fully conducive to maturing concepts and it doesn’t provide winners sufficient funds to establish a start-up.

“I think it’s a good program but how can we make it better? The way they’re connected to the community as a whole, I think that’s great. It’s just, how do they get people to participate at the level they want,” Wittmeyer added.

And that, Cole said in a follow-up interview with Government Technology, is good feedback.

“We were kind of intentionally living between the two because we didn’t feel like we needed to stand up the resources of a full-on incubator or accelerator, but we did feel like we needed more resources than a weekend project,” he said. "That’s just part of the constant goal of evaluating ourselves and just deciding whether we need to do something different."

Variations on a Theme

Not surprisingly, considering the varying stages of open data that exist at state and local agencies nationwide, other cities and states sponsor or are involved in similar but not identical events.

Like Go Code Colorado, New York City’s BigApps competition began when open data’s value had fewer advocates and proof points than it does now. But the city has continually pushed to make public data available to drive the event.

In 2009, its inaugural year, BigApps competitors worked on 170 open data sets from 30 city agencies. Today, after two mayors and chief technology officers have made open data a priority, New York City offers more than 1,300 open data streams.

BigApps focuses on “creating solutions that are anchored in the needs of real New Yorkers,” according to an official at the city’s Economic Development Corp who is familiar with the event. It is also increasingly focused on ensuring its winners accomplish more than just taking home a prize.

In 2016, BigApps partnered with the new nonprofit Civic Hall Labs, the research and development arm of Civic Hall, a collaborative work and event space and community of people interested in using technology for the public good. Civic Hall Labs mentored and advised winners and offered workshops to help refine their projects.

This year, Civic Hall Labs has an expanded role, actually managing BigApps and ensuring the event’s solutions are truly focused on New Yorkers.

In 2015, BigApps’ challenges centered around affordable housing, zero waste, connected cities and civic engagement.

For its 2017 edition, BigApps will focus on three populations — seniors, youth and immigrants — and then overlay challenge areas of improving knowledge, transportation and community resiliency.

“Our main theory is you should design with the people you are trying to serve, not just for them,” said Civic Hall Labs Co-Founder and Board Chairman Andrew Rasiej.

“There’s lots of these things bubbling up. You’ve probably heard about Code For America,” Rasiej said, referring to similar events. “But what we’re trying to help advance is that there’s more likelihood of success when you follow a design process around making sure the right people and the right technologies are around the table to achieve a particular result.”

The nonprofit Heat Seek, a 2014 BigApps winner, is a “quintessential example” of that, Rasiej said. Its team created a sensor and online database to log hourly temperature readings in frigid New York City apartments whose landlords may be breaking the law by failing to provide heat.

The results have been successfully used in court to get settlements for tenants and compel landlords to pledge in stipulations that they agree to provide heat in the future.

But Heat Seek is still in beta mode, reaching out on a limited basis to tenants with “known bad actors” for landlords, and working with tenant lawyers and community organizers to think through scenarios where its data can make the biggest difference. Executive Director Noelle Francois described development as a “longer and windier road” than originally envisioned.

“So there’s a lot more support post-BigApps now versus when we competed, which I think is awesome,” said Francois, who has since been brought in by Civic Hall Labs to be a BigApps mentor. “But I think the great thing about BigApps is … it drives the competition to build better technology to make New York City a better place for everyone.”

And that, Rasiej said, sort of brings us to the bigger point. "One of the reasons BigApps is so important is it doesn’t just deliver a project or solution that should exist," he said. "It’s an opportunity to reinvent civic engagement for the 21st century.”

Sam Frons, a founder of the foundation behind the app Addicaid, a 2015 BigApps winner, said the competition’s sections might be too specific and prevent companies from joining.

But she also praised the event for helping the app transition from its initial vision as a meeting finder to a dynamic combination of therapeutic approaches to recovery that is infused with artificial intelligence and personalized to the individual.

“They brought us to the next level. By giving us the support to really think about Addicaid as a business. We have a plan to get revenue over the next months so we can be a sustainable business,” said Frons, noting that the foundation, now supported by around $70,000 in grant and prize money, has plans to open a seed round.

Not for Everyone

Some agencies elsewhere, however, have been cooler toward actively sponsoring coding sessions, hackathons and incubations.

In Connecticut, Chief Data Officer Tyler Kleykamp said his state hasn’t sponsored any such events because size matters, and Connecticut has just five cities with more than 100,000 residents.

“We don’t have a really big city to draw on apart from Stamford,” Kleykamp said. “One of the things I’ve tried to do is, rather than hold our own civic-focused hackathon, is to jump on board with some of the other hackathons that might be occurring in Connecticut.”

The state is no stranger to tech-facing events and solutions. In July, Connecticut began making available online a real-time list of people held on bond in state correctional facilities, their charges and how long they’ve been held. State facilities are the state’s main incarceration point.

The Connecticut Data Collaborative, a public-private partnership, develops products and uses visualizations to “breathe life” into state data streams.

And in September, Kleykamp said Connecticut stood up a civic technology track at the third annual Stamford Hackathon, adding a small prize “to get some people thinking about civic tech.”

“We had done sort of these very civic-focused hackathons and it was sort of hard to draw people, but we found this was a pretty good approach for us,” Kleykamp said.

He said the state’s involvement yielded an unusual creation, one whose development has been encouraged: an app that combined transit schedules with IBM Bluemix and Watson Natural Language mix to help limited-English speakers navigate public transportation.

“I thought that was a really innovative thing. It’s one of those things that doesn’t necessarily cross your mind,” Kleykamp said.

Unlike Colorado, Connecticut has focused on making better use of the data it collects to streamline state business processes, including the licensing process through its Secretary of State’s office.

Most businesses need some type of state license, Kleykamp said. “I don’t know how many businesses would want to register with the Secretary of State using an iPhone versus sitting down in front of a computer to do that," he added. "But that’s certainly something we’d want to learn about.”

New Jersey is another state that sees a different role in tech than directly sponsoring hackathons, or incubator or accelerator events. Chief Technology Officer Dave Weinstein said officials think they can be more valuable working “on the data side.”

“Obviously, hackathons are extremely valuable venues for young developers to get together and compare notes and build new tools for our citizens and we certainly sponsor — or I should say, we certainly advocate — those types of events. But most of those events based on my observation form fairly organically across the state,” Weinstein said. “There’s not a lot of need for government to intervene."

Instead he pointed to the state’s Open Data Initiative (ODI), signed into law by Gov. Chris Christie on Monday, Feb. 6, as not only requiring data transparency from state agencies but potentially providing a road map forward.

Behind the scenes, officials have been “fairly active,” Weinstein said, pointing out there’s an Open Data Center in his office and a website providing transparency on issues ranging from geospatial to financial.

“But the Open Data Initiative really gives us an opportunity to further operationalize that center and certainly establish a lasting legacy in the Open Data space,” Weinstein said. “It’s also a great vehicle for marketing the Open Data Center to the developer community and others who didn’t even know we existed in this space.”

The ODI went further, however, codifying into law the state’s Chief Data Officer position, giving CDO Liz Rowe authority to set procedures, standards and practices pertaining to open data and data sets by agency; and to develop a format standard across all agencies.

That last piece is rather significant. New Jersey began an effort in 2015 to collect disparate pieces of online information from its state network, Weinstein said, but state data continues to exist in various formats, limiting its ability to be shared in an automated fashion.

Codifying the CDO’s role is also a key takeoff point from which to educate key stakeholders on data, he said, and bring them into the fold.

“In New Jersey, we’re happy to say that we can compel. We like to assert our authority when we have it,” Weinstein said.

Advocating — though not actually sponsoring — hackathon and coding events still generates value for the state, he said, by acquainting officials with local talent they may wish to recruit and hire.

And regardless of any of these events’ structures or ultimate design, Weinstein and other officials who spoke with Government Technology affirmed that hackathons, incubators and accelerators all have great purpose in the tech world.

“I think that because of the growth in programs like BigApps and Go Code Colorado and Code for America and even the White House’s 18F program … we’re experiencing the beginning of a renaissance in the way government views the opportunity to partner with the public on creating solutions to long-standing problems,” Rasiej said.

In Magda’s case, attending Go Code Colorado introduced him to technologists from around the state, and got him seen by his current employer, Airstream Health, which aims to build a good healthplan that’s cheaper for employers.

“Even though it’s hard to put a dollar amount on how successful it is," Magda said, "I think there’s a considerable benefit on my side being able to go to work for a startup."

from Contemplating Change for Coding Competitions, Hackathons

[duncanoncars]

Scandal! Fire!! And Victors partner?

Your local petrol heads take on all things 4 wheels...

A very happy Thursday to you from me, your resident petrol head Duncan McDonald.

So right, whats up with Ford and its recall? If you haven’t heard #Ford #Kugas have been catching a light all by themselves. If you haven’t heard about it in the news maybe you have seen the Nandos spoof ads or the memes on social media. #toosoonnandos  

One death and 48 reported fires. Eleven of those in the past month – the issue appears to be simple enough: insufficient cooling to prevent material warping of the engine’s aluminium cylinder head, which cracks, leaking oil into a very hot engine compartment, resulting rather predictably in a fire.

Ford has issued a recall of the more than 4500 Kugas so if you are driving one right now, it best be to your closest Ford Dealership.

Also in the news VW emissions scandal has progressed to prosecution of a few involved...

The Volkswagen emissions scandal (also known as "emissionsgate" or "dieselgate") erupted on 18 September 2015, when the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) issued a notice of violation of the Clean Air Act to German automaker Volkswagen Group after it was found that Volkswagen had intentionally programmed turbocharged direct injection(TDI) diesel engines to activate certain emissions controls only during laboratory emissions testing. The programming caused the vehicles' NOx output to meet US standards during regulatory testing but emit up to 40 times more NOx in real-world driving.[15] Volkswagen deployed this programming in about eleven million cars worldwide, and 500,000 in the United States, during model years 2009 through 2015.

The company agreed to pay $4.3 billion in penalties, the largest fine ever levied by the U.S. government on an auto company. On top of the already $14.7-billion settlement that VW signed, in July, to cover customers’ class-action suits. In addition, six Volkswagen executives have been charged with running a decade-long scheme to rig VW diesel engines with so-called defeat devices. (-wikipedia)

Amazingly enough that has not tarnished the local market sales in any way as VW leads the passenger segment of the local market with its VW Polo and Polo Vivo outselling everything. It is also blistering ahead and gaining market share with a few of its new models, notably the new, VW Tiguan, which I hopefully will have on test soon.

On to some good news: The brand new PEUGEOT 3008DKRs completed the 2017 Dakar Rally’s 9, 000-kilometre run through Paraguay, Bolivia and Argentina in the top 3 spots in Buenos Aires, Argentina. This landmark one-two-three result takes PEUGEOT’s score on the Dakar to six outright victories just in time for the launch of the new Peugeot 3008 SUV’s across the world.

Peugeot, still carries a reliability and low resale stigma in the minds of our 'more mature' audience here in SA and I hope this impressive performance goes a long way to remind us saffers that in todays automotive trade, sometimes your brand perception could be a bit off the facts…

5 months away until the 3008’s are launched locally and I am very keen to drive it.

Speaking of what I am keen to drive, I have been in yet another bakkie this past week as I am almost always keen for a bakkie. The bakkie market in SA is alight with new metal, with the soon to be realised Renault Duster Oroch being of most interest to me, and a heated competition for top sales spot with the Hilux this past month trumping the Ford Ranger.

This week I was in the new look Isuzu double cab. If you follow me regularly, you will know I was recently in the extended cab Isuzu which I had high praise for, despite its significant price premium over the relevant other brands offering in the cab and a half space.

This week is slightly different as I wasn’t as impressed as I usually am with the GM offering. The double cab just didn’t live up to the expectation from all my previous drives in an Isuzu.

Firstly, the window winder on the passenger side didn’t work the way it usually does, now I know this sounds like nitpicking and is test vehicle specific, but this seemed to set the tone of the weeks experience for me rather adequately. Let me explain: I needed to transport an office chair from one house to the other and thought sure no problem, this week I have a double cab bakkie, no problem. But when I tried to open the tonneau cover, I found it impossible to remove. Further to this the chair didn’t fit in the back of the cab either, so I ended transporting my new desk chair in the back of Hyundai Atoz… not a good impression and certainly a little embarrassing for the bakkie guy…

It was a similar let down in the ride comfort department. At walking pace speed the double cab seems to rock from side to side or wobble on its suspension. Further to this, the suspension setup is rock hard, worse than the Mazda BT50, almost reminiscent of a Nissan Hardbody from 15 years ago, which is fine if you are loading the Isuzu everyday, but is simply unacceptable for the leisure buyer. Although on the blurb on Isuzu’s website, it does mention that the KB come out with heavy duty Twin-tube Gas Pressurised shock absorbers. It also goes on to mention that you can load over a 1000kg on the back but before you think that is where the compromise comes in, the most comfortable bakkie I’ve driven, the Ford Ranger has the same payload.

I also battled to find the most suitable cruising rpm with the 5 speed manual transmission. Cruising at 120kph in 5th gear the engine revs towards the top of the torque band of 1800-2800 rpm. This leaves you feeling that a 6th gear would have dropped the revs to a more comfy 2000rpm.

The start stop button, is annoying, having to start the bakkie in neutral. Its just an unnecessary faf. The navigation system is certainly not easy to use. I preferred to use my google maps on my phone. There is no mute button on the steering wheel for the media player, so if you need to have a quick conversation with someone for example at the drive through, you need to hold down the volume button. And the seat belt reminder alarm is as gentle on your ears as a room full of crying toddlers. Now before you think I don’t buckle up before I drove off, you’re wrong. The same calamity engulfs you when your passenger unbuckles, even when the vehicle isn’t in motion, for example a farm gate is going to be a noisy affair until he or she’s bum is off the seat.

Anyway those were the attributes I didn’t appreciate , those I did included:

The economy of the 250 D-Teq 100 kilowatt diesel engine is class leading. Manufacturer claims a combined 7.9 litre per 100km for the 4x4 model. This is paired with a massive 80 litre fuel tank.

Safety features include Electronic Stability Control, with elements like Brake Assist, Traction Control, Electronic Brake-force Distribution and Anti-lock Braking Systems. The LX model is fitted with six airbags so you and your passengers are safe. And the steering wheel is fitted with easy to use multi function controls and cruise control.

The New look exterior styling is great, leaps ahead from the previous design. But here is the biggy, price comparisons between the big three leave the Isuzu far above what you would expect to pay for an Isuzu 4x4 double cab.

The equivalent Toyota Hilux 4x4 double cab 2.4 GD-6 4X4 SR is priced from R462 500 The Ford Ranger 2.2 TDCI D/cab xl 6 speed manual 4x4 starts from R431 900

And the Isuzu KB 250 D-Teq LE 4x4 comes in at R462 000

And this shows in sales figures: As I mentioned earlier Toyota leading the pack with 3074 units moved in December, Ford selling 2665 of its Rangers and Isuzu managing a distant 3rd of 912 units.

I think if Isuzu sorted out the ergonomic and comfort issues, promoted their bakkie in a different paint option and offered some style packages, and realised that they need to price point their offering more reasonably, they would see a vast improvement in uptake of the new KB double cab.

Its good looking enough to compete, we know it has lasting pedigree and can perform.

Its just expensive and unnecessarily finicky it some areas. Come Isuzu, we are rooting for you.

So do you think I’m totally off base or on point, comment on the Facebook page.

Till next week, happy and safe motoring...