#i think partly we're also wrestling with a side of fandom that treats the books as a celebration of these things

[melrosing]

Ok I will certainly agree with those who claim ASOIAF depicts a hyper-patriarchy, like Westerosi society is in many ways more misogynistic and oppressive than any society it’s based on. and there’s a host of conversations to be had about that. But I’m so stumped by these twitter takes claiming asoiaf celebrates that kind of society?? That it’s just this cock fest where the worst of toxic masculinity is exhibited without criticism or contemplation? like!! come on!!!

practically every male POV in the gd series is wrestling with the masculine ideal, and losing. the closer they get to it the more it burns them - quite literally in Quentyn’s case. it’s his efforts to become the powerful man he thinks he ought to be that kills him. the same shit will happen to Victarion: his obsession with power and respect has only ever lost him those exact things. same shit has already happened to Theon, whose power struggle has left him practically the most powerless POV in the cast - his rise is in finding another way to be, outside of that ideal he once aspired to.

and in the men who have achieved it, the masculine ideal is repeatedly shown to be utterly hollow: Jaime realises that as the greatest swordsman in Westeros, he was only a hand - and all the more fragile for it. Robert’s prowess won him nothing but a crown he never really wanted, and as that prowess decays we see all the weaknesses he was hiding. Renly tries to take Robert’s place, and despite all the power he accumulates, all it does is make him more vulnerable to a brother with the same ambitions - and it scatters on impact. Tywin, who is thought of as eternal, who has dedicated his life to constructing and embodying the masculine ideal, is ultimately just as vulnerable as any other man, and trampling the son he always saw as the greatest insult to his image is precisely what kills him. and then there's Gregor, strongest man in the 7K, who is literally just lost in his own violence.

like the only way men survive this narrative is by abandoning their quests for the ideal, and their obsession with their own image and power and strength, and the whole game of fuckin thrones, and embracing a cause beyond them and their house. Sam’s arc isn’t to become the heir his father wanted, Jon’s isn’t to become the heir he never was, Theon’s isn’t to take his place as Balon’s, Jaime’s isn’t to take his place as Tywin’s. they are not meant to succeed to these roles, because nothing about this story suggests that the patriarchy is worth sustaining, or that the men who propelled it were worth being. and there is so much to say on this topic but you don’t get to join in if you have only seen game of thrones!!!