#i think of the songs in ep.ic. usually I'm good at processing any mentions of pene.lope as being about me or going
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uugh shame on me for deciding to write about my essentially "the odys.sey but if it was written to specifically appeal to me and my boyfriend because we both want to smooch someone in it" in class. under the cut bc I ramble and feel bad about doing so.
my friend looked over (who's been pretty supportive about me crushing on od.y aside from some light teasing. like joking about stealing a marble statue of him from a museum for me and teasing me about reading the odys.sey in class) and asked about it so I started explaining the really funny polycule in it (once again, this is incredibly altered to appeal to Me And My Boyfriend Specifically) and of course he has to point out, after I've already gone through a bunch of it and am happy because I think he's listening to me and interested and supportive, the fact he's having to suspend his belief so much. because it's soo out of character of Anyone for Any of it to happen. for od.y to love me as well as his wife or be alright with someone else liking pene.lope. mhm. okay.
#i don't have a vent tag um#[☹️] nikolai sighs#sure#block that tag if uncomfy ig 😭 won't put anything heavy here fhwhfhe but. guh#now i just feel so upset because i KNOW it's supposed to be for ME but like#i think of the songs in ep.ic. usually I'm good at processing any mentions of pene.lope as being about me or going#''ohh he loves her so much and he loves me just the same <3'' and getting flustered#but now it's like. I can't. I can't! it's not about me. it's not. I'm not her yadayada and his like. one big THING is that he loves his#wife and is loyal to her. ugh#i just feel like shit now idk. kinda wanna cry. I'm stressed. which is silly because this is FOR ME but. i just feel Bad now
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