#i think of parenthood and i think of misery thats why it's not in my headcanon for them

[baphometsss]

I'm so confused about where people are getting the idea that Solas loves talking to kids from . I think, maybe, the projection here is making people push the envelope on his characterisation a bit

Like what part of this man being annoyed at the noise they make when he whinges at Blackwall for loudly training them outside his room has people thinking that this guy would love kids ?

Let's be real. He'd tolerate them at most. Even his own (especially his own good gord that man has enough self-hate to fill a reservoir). He's even annoyed by Cole following him around and nagging him about the talisman. He makes a typically bitchy remark about it. Can you imagine him with a toddler bugging the shit out of him while he's trying to work? Or screaming when he meditates? Getting filth all over his precious books and artefacts?

I mean I'm very open about my own child-adverse projections but I do genuinely think he would not be particularly child-friendly. Solas screams someone who's internally thinking 'get that thing away from me' every time a child is invading his space too much. It's odd to me that there are so many people who have the white picket fence fantasy with the egg of all people. Cullen is right there for that. Hell, even Bull would fit the brief pretty well.

Like YES he would love teaching them and helping them learn but otherwise he would be the most hands-off father in existence and TRUST ME when I say hands-off fathers are a nightmare. I've seen more than enough women come close to tearing their hair out because their partners/co-parents only help with the bits they're interested in. (I.e. playtime, not cleaning or nappy changing or dealing with tantrums or behavioural issues etc ETC!!) I would not want Solas as a co-parent. I really wouldn't, and if you were even a little bit realistic about what it would entail I don't think you'd want it for your Lavellan either lol

(Yes I'm being a little OTT but that's what Tumblr's for lmao)

Idk man outside of Tumblr just being for funsies and not taking it too seriously it does kinda worry me bc so many people just do not think about what constant ballache parenthood is. Once the novelty of picking a name and seeing what your kid looks like wears off you're left with a crushing responsibility that does not go away for 18+ years. Sure, those responsibilities shift a bit as time goes on as they mature and become more independent. But you do have to make a lot of sacrifices. You don't have any time to just be a person anymore. You have to have your eye on them pretty much constantly for the first few years. You have to change everything. You have to become a different person.

Maybe I'm just thinking about this a lot bc I'm at an age where people around me have started popping kids out and I can see what a nightmare it is. (That and my mother has been pressuring me to breed since I was like 12 and has only recently accepted that that is Not Happening.) Idk I just wish more people would think about what parenthood is gonna be like before they make a decision that doesn't have an undo button. I don't think many people in fandom have kids or have thought about what it really entails and it shows in fanworks lol