#i think it'd be even more haunting if the voice was less harsh but it still works

[herstarburststories]

Something About Pride

Summary: It's Pride Month! Dean tries to make sure you feel celebrated today, while Sammy has an inner dilemma about Castiel.

Pairings: Bi!Reader x Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester x Castiel

A/N: I had more alternative titles for that one (too in love to think straight and the gay angel), but this one fits a lot! A bit late, I know.

"Shouldn't you buy him a gift or something? It's like a full on gay Valentine's Day," Dean said in a husky voice, barely functioning in the light of morning as he prepared the daily coffee for him and Sam along with your cold lemon tea.

His little brother didn't bother giving him an articulate answer other than a mild glare at his back. (Y/N) simply rolled your eyes at your boyfriend's statement, a small grin on your lips. Dean could be simultaneously clueless, dumb and cute sometimes.

‘’I doubt Cass knows what pride month is, honestly.’’ You glance at Sam, resting your hand on his arm with a friendly smile. “But I think it would be cool if you somehow celebrated with him.’’ 

‘’Wait,’’ Dean interrupted the conversation, placing the coffee pot and your cup of tea on the table. ‘’Do you want to celebrate it?’’ he asked, suddenly worried about somehow being negligent on something important to you.

‘’Nah, I'm good. Being myself is all the celebration I need right now.’’ You grinned at him, withdrawing your hand arm to grab the cup full of chilled tea. It was adorable how caring Dean was. ‘’Besides, your gift this morning was good enough.’’

The wink you offered, followed by Dean's double-meaning smirk caused Sammy to huff lightly and purse his lips. ‘’Leave the weird kinks for the bedroom, guys. And more silently. I can hear.’’

His elder brother rolled his eyes and claimed the seat next to you. ‘’And I thought he would get some after he got with Cass.’’

‘’I think he would like it,” you continued after taking a sip of your tea. ‘’Maybe you could bring him to a parade?’’

‘’And explain him that pride month happens because people were killed and tortured for loving someone?’’ Sam replied, a hint of harshness in his voice. It was obvious he didn’t want to snap, but it could be a delicate situation when the brunette male thought about it. Castiel clearly knew that love has no boundaries regarding to gender — his angel nature and the fact that he had various vessels through the ages made him indifferent when it came to sex — but he probably wasn't aware that it hadn't been always like this on earth. Part of Sam didn't want to explain too much. For once, he wanted to make himself believe that not knowing could be a blessing.

You laid your eyes on him, a frown on your face. Dean was silent like he usually would be during conversations like this. Rather, he was pouring coffee for him and Sammy.

Sighing, the taller man tried to reason with himself. "I'm sorry, it's just — "

‘’It's okay. I get it,” you said, refusing further explanation. You remembered how nervous Sam was to tell Dean and how broken he was after realizing that John would never know part of what made him who he was. He was paralyzed, even, spine chilled with horror as he’d considered how his father could react. ‘’The accumulation of history, this heteronormative society. it’s buried deep inside everyone. It makes coming out necessary and scary, and even sometimes it backfires as if we were doing something wrong. Some people even tell us it’s something wrong, but that doesn’t make all that we have achieved any less important or beautiful.”

Dean's hand found your high under the table. It’s a soft squeeze and not in the teasing manner that you’re used to. His own little way of supporting you, of saying I'm here if you want to talk or drink about it. I have your back. He has been always supportive when it came to your bisexuality and his brother's sexuality. You pecked his cheek.

‘’I know, it is just…’’ Sam shrugged, his hazel eyes getting puffy. ‘’What Cas and I have — It's innocent. It's good. I don't want him to doubt it or something because of what a bunch of ignorant people think. Does that make sense?’’

‘’Cass has had the hots for you for years, dude. He didn't run away from us when he had to go against Chuck, go to the purgatory or when you offered him rabbit food. He won't leave anymore.’’

Although he coated his tongue with a humorous truth, it broke Dean's heart to hear the fragility in his little brother's voice. For as much as Castiel was his best friend, he was ready to punch the grace out of that angel if he hurt Sammy.

‘’He is right, Sam. Castiel wouldn't doubt your relationship for that. It's Pride Month. History isn't known for being pretty, but victorious. And we won.’’

‘’Sometimes I just wish we didn't have to fight,’’ Sammy said quietly, shrugging while he grabbed the cup of coffee to bring to his lips.

You gave him a solidary glare, an empathetic smile adding in your expression. You held his huge hand in yours, rubbing your thumb into Sam's palm.

‘’I know.’’ What was left to say? It was unfair as most things in centuries. It was revolting. But above all, it was changing. Love was finally being seen in every way. Things were slowly getting better. ‘’But we keep fighting, right? And we get something good.’’ You pulled away, drinking more of your lemon tea. Sam nodded, sniffling a bit while he recomposed himself. ‘’You could keep it simple if you explain, like…’’ 

‘’Tell him it is a full-month of exclusively gay Valentine,’’ Dean suggested, smiling genuinely at his idea and wiggling his eyebrows.

Sam sighed and you scrunched your nose, but had to agree with your boyfriend. That would be a good way to describe it to Castiel. 

‘’You could bring him to a parade or give him one of those tiny rainbow flags, like Captain Holt’s. It's cute!’’

Dean grimaced. ‘’Don't be that chick flick, Sammy.’’

‘’How is that chick flick, Winchester?’’ You arched your eyebrow, almost challenging him to continue.

The long-haired brother just chuckled at you two, rising from the chair with his cup in hand. He needed to think about Castiel and the whole month's explanation deal.

‘’All right, I'll let you two argue alone.’’

Sammy could hear the words that grow more quietly as he stepped away from the kitchen.

‘’Are you sure you don't want to go to a parade or something?’’

It brings an amount of pride that he didn't think he would feel, just like the joy.

Sam Winchester wasn’t the kind of man to get nervous mincing words, especially near his family. That was why he almost felt ashamed when the faint tremble in his voice became noticeable enough for even him to detect when he spoke to his boyfriend.

‘’So, Cass, I wanted to talk to you about something.’’

The hunter wanted to scream stupid at himself for the tiny frown on Castiel's usual tranquil expression. When Sam said similar words to the angel, it was most likely to be a life or death situation, or a Dean becoming a demon situation, or a Chuck about to destroy the world situation.

And he certainly wasn't this anxious when he first brought it up to his brother and you.

‘’What is this about?’’

‘’Full-gay Valentine's Day, but it's a month.’’ Dean arched his eyebrows, pursed lips parting into a proud smile. You slapped his arm. Unbelievable. ‘’What? You agree!’’

You held his arm and dragged him out of the room. Sam needed privacy. As you and his brother walked away between whispers, he let out a breath that he didn't even notice the holding. 

For a split of second, Sammy almost followed you two to bring Dean and his stupid jokes back to the subject.

The hunter coughed, but his angel lover just remained standing there; calm blue eyes waiting for his next speech, head subtly titled to the side because of his curiosity.

‘’Uh, Pride Month.’’

For his surprise, Castiel answered with a nod, ‘’The month of love, I believe? It is very colorful to see.’’

‘’You know what it is?’’ Sammy frowned in confusion, approaching his boyfriend with a soft smile. It was a weird relief. He wouldn't dare to tell Cass how some humans saw their relationship. Not that they mattered, anyway. But it'd haunt him how his lover could react. After all, Castiel was still considerably new to the human world as a dweller.

‘’Yes, I do. A month to celebrate romantic relationships,” the blue-eyed man said. Once he saw the look on Sam’s face, he quickly added, ‘’I saw it on the television.’’

‘’Yeah, it's, huh, kinda like that. But not fully.’’ He gave him a tight smile. Sammy was close enough to hold his hand, and so he did. God, it was possible to feel his body relax just with that mere touch. If Samuel didn't know any better, he'd theorize that he could sense Castiel's grace. But no, it must've been love in its purest form. ‘’It's important for relationships too, but it is mostly about self pride. Like accepting and praising part of who you are.’’

Cass intertwined their fingers, enjoying the way Sam's soul shone brighter to his closeness. It was such a majestic view.

‘’I was thinking, maybe we could go to one of them. Or just have a date. It's kind of our special month on earth. Well, the backstory isn't that nice, but — ’’

‘’Many things in humanity aren't, Sam. You are not a harmonic kind. Like bees,’’ Castiel said, butting into his human's babbling as he noticed how agitated his aura became. As if he was scared for some reason. Sam gulped, the prior anxious feeling crawling back in a bigger form. ‘’Although, it is an honorable celebration for a great cause. I would like to enjoy this with you.”

Sammy's mouth was open in a perfect shape of an O. Features echoing his mixed feelings of intrigue and shock, he had to make sure of what he heard by asking: ‘’You would?’’ 

‘’Yes, Sa — Honey.’’ The graceful being was still learning the perks of being in a romantic relationship. Pet names were a new thing to him, but honey was his favorite. Mostly because of its association with his favorite insect. ‘’We could go for one of the group walks on the street? The sensation to be there seems — ’’

“Freeing?’’ He smiled, pulling Castiel closer to his taller figure with a free hand. Not a worry in earth, hell and heaven catching his mind now.

Castiel curved his lips into a smile. It was tiny, but it was there, just like the hold on his waist. Would every move of his angel make him experience this peaceful embrace? He believed so. Perhaps that was the happiness that he found in the chaos of his life. That his brother found. And it was good. God, it was amazing. Heaven in one angel, just for him. 

‘’Exactly, like pride.’’ Sam's words come only to be soon replaced by his lips pressing against Castiel's in a kiss.

He felt so proud to love him. No one could take it away.

And they wouldn't.

Masterlist

Dean's Sweetheart: @akshi8278

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