#i think in high school she probably liked certain tv shows (i think veronica mars would've given her bi panic) and celebrities

[jeniffercheck]

interested in your general thoughts on shiv’s sexuality — when do you think she started dating/sleeping with women, is it something her family would know about, is she honest with herself about it or is it just a “fun thing.” anything you feel like sharing!

under the cut bc this came out really long but tldr. shiv roy is a homosexual

ooooh love this topic. shiv is def bisexual to me, though i genuinely don't see her ever using that label. i think she would've started sleeping with women in college, maybe the first time during a threesome with some fleeting boyfriend & she realized she liked it. that's where i would actually see her pursuing the majority of her early experiences with women since that's kind of a safe place to explore it without anyone being able to make assumptions about her, and also definitely makes her a cool girl among the guys 😭

i 1000% read all of the scenes with her and lisa as having been either romantically or sexually involved (probably both) & i would imagine she had to have at least one homoerotic friendship that kind of sealed the deal for her, but perhaps if i was to read into things with lisa even more, i would guess that shiv knew she could never feasibly be with a woman, so whether it was lisa or not, i def see shiv having at least one relationship with a woman that could've been really great, but she wouldn't let herself have it.

i think after college when all of the soul searching and realizations would've been complete, she would've went back to her original framing and viewed it more as a sexual preference for pleasure, but i do think she would freely pursue sex with women without it needing to include men so like progress i guess??? it's definitely majorly on the downlow but obviously we saw how excited she was to have a threesome with tom & how happy she was to do it only with the girl infront of him so 😭 i don't think she'll deny herself the knowledge that it please her, but i think she DOES ignore the fact that it makes her gay. because shiv roy cannot be gay<3

on that point i think: roman knows (snooped through her aol chat one christmas break), kendall doesn't care enough to question it, connor wouldn't even think to guess, and logan would never even let himself think it. caroline probably figured it out the second shiv came out of her<3

[camistired]

the peculiar one

chp. 3 // welcome to river-hell

not edited

january 23, 2019

word count: 3138

song: antidote by faith marie

one / two

-

I couldn't sleep. The feeling of dread washed over me, making my eyes stay stapled open as I lay on my back. The soft sound of the TV show I was watching on my phone bounced off the walls but never met my ears. All I could think of is what will happen in the few hour ahead.

I didn't hate school, surprisingly. I do excellent in my class besides the two I seemed to take a little longer to comprehend. It was the people at the school that made me feel this way. The whole group of people that I knew to be there, it all just seemed like a scene from 'Heather's' or 'Mean Girl's'.

Either way, I was not willing to be Cady or Veronica in this situation. I turn over to see my phone had turned off. I got out of bed and walk over to my bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet to grab my sleeping pills. I take one, seeing as I already took my dosage earlier and it was still not even working. I lay back down and eventually lost myself in a dream world. And a strange one at that.

I open my eyes to see myself in a basement of sorts. I gag as the smell of blood and rotten blood fill my nose. I look around to find an empty chair, ropes loosely hung around the back of it. I hear the faint sound of crying making me turn to see a woman with her head hung low.

When she looked up, her face was impossible to identify. It's as if the world scratched out her face to show absolute nothing. Her cries seemed to echo off the walls louder. Footsteps slowly made their way down, only to be met with another faceless person. It's as if the world didn't want me to see that these people were out there, somewhere, in the world.

The womans cries and got louder and louder, my ears ringing as it seemed to get to a pitch only a dog could here. Than it all just- stopped. The cries were gone, the scratches on their faces seemed to be changing hues every second, and the room slowly turned into nothingness.

My eyes pop open as I stare at my ceiling. The only words coming to mind were; what the fuck? Obviously sleep deprivation and my imagination are never a good mix for dreams. I look over at the clock on my wall to see it's only 6:17.

I groan inwardly and have up on sleep. What's the point? I'll have to get up in an hour anyways. I sit up and decide to rewatch 'The Breakfast Club'. It's genuinely one of my favorite movies from the eighties. Hell- one of my favorite movies in general.

I sat silently as I watch the opening as I relate to certain things and people. Obviously I relate myself more to Allison, being a bit of a basket case myself, but I can easily put myself in the others perspective. I also silently wish I could have a group of friends like theirs. Seemingly strangers with nothing in common, to all of a sudden be close to the hip and making jokes about each other's difference's. Who wouldn't want that?

I eventually get lost in the teen drama that I didn't even notice the sun rise or it being nearly an hour an twenty minutes later until my dad knocked on the door and peeked his head inside my room.y head popped up and I lock eyes with him, smiling softly. I pause movie as I focus on his words, unfortunately only catching the end of his sentence.

"- So with that being said, are you excited for your first day of high school?" he asked and all I can do is nod.

"Yea, I am. Who knows, maybe my nerves are just everywhere for nothing?" I try to be optimistic about today, but I'm just uneasy.

He smiles assuringly and giving me a thumbs up before turning out of the room and leaving, closing the door behind him. I quickly hop out of bed, and decide to pull on just some black jeans and a green t-shirt. I lace up my boots as another knock was heard, but this time by the window. Luna hissed from under my bed, making me chuckle.

I stood up and see Jughead by my window with a goofy smile on his face. I roll my eyes and open the window for him, "There's a front door you know."

"I know, but where's the fun in that?" He responds, climbing through my window with ease.

I roll my eyes, grabbing my glasses and sliding them on my face. "But if you use the front door, it doesn't look like I'm trying to sneak you into my room."

"You know a couple years ago you would have said something different." He chuckles at me as I stick my tongue out at him.

"That's then, this is now." I grab my backpack and pet Luna as she jumps on my bed.

Jughead went to do the same but instead he only got hissed at. He immediately retracts his hand and I laugh softly at the scene before me. "Don't take it personal, she doesn't like people."

"She likes you." he points out, heading towards the door. "I swear it's like somehow, someone was able to put your personality into a cat."

"Well I'd like to meet that person one day and thank them." I cut in front of him to head downstairs. I'm immediately hit with the smell of food. I sit my bag down at the leg of the dark wooden table. I grab a plate and grab a bit of everything that was available. I sit down at the table and start eating.

"You know not to expect this everyday, right?" Lila tease as she sits down across from me with her own plate of food. I nod to her as I continue to eat.

"Can I at least expect this every now and then?" Jug ask as he sat down next to me. His tone was teasing, but I knew he was almost completely serious.

"Sure Jug. Just let me know when you decided to move in with us and when you decided you get to choose what's for breakfast." Mar joined the teasing as she sat down next to Lila, who was stifling her laughter while also trying not to choke on her food.

"Okay, would you prefer a day or week's notice before I start to move in?" He asks his cousin after swallowing his food. I let out a small squeal while trying to stifle my laughter, only to cough as I choked on my food.

I heard a burst of laughter around me, only making me laugh more after I stopped coughing. After everything has calmed down, Jughead, Daniel, and I headed off to school. Daniel actually met up with a friend of his half way there, so now it was just me and Jug.

The silence between the two of us was a bit tense, but not knowing from what we didn't act on it. We slowly approached the school, the tension only seemed to be rising. Maybe I was the only one to truly acknowledge it causes when we walked through the doors of the school, he smiles as if nothing was wrong and offered to take me to the office to get my stuff.

I trailed slightly behind him as he lead the way to the office. The tension still there but than again it seems like I'm the only one to truly notice it.

Mabe it's just my nerves? That'd make sense, right?

I got my schedule and Jug offered to show me to my locker. I thought about this tour around Riverdale High, but I decided not to attend seeing if I needed directions, I'm sure Jug wouldn't mind showing me.

We had a few more minutes before class started so me and Juggie just stayed by our lockers – which were right across from each other's. We talked as if whatever I thought was wrong, wasn't wrong. It was if I imagined it all, and maybe I did. However, I felt much better now than I did walking to the school.

And before I knew it, class had started.

☾

I wasn't sure how I ended up where I did. I had lost Jughead a while ago, so now I'm sitting next to Archie with Daniel sitting behind me with his friends. Students were told to go to the gymnasium for something about a school dance that I honestly don't know of I cared about or not.

I look up front to see Cheryl standing at the podium, staring at the crowds of teens.

"Let's have a moment of silence for Jason." The room falls silent. I look up around, seeing if I can find Jughead, only to make eye contact with him as he shifts before looking back at his laptop.

"Thank you for that moment of silence. Many of you were lucky enough to have known my brother personally. Each and everyone of you meant the world to Jason. I loved my brother. He was and always will be my soulmate. So I speak with a confidence only a twin could have. Jason wouldn't want us to spend the year mourning." I make eye contact with Jug once more, after he finishes rolling his eyes.

"Jason would want us to move on with our lives. Which is why I've asked the School Board to not cancel the Back-to- School semiformal." The room erupts in cheers as I look over at Archie as he maked eye contact with a younger teacher.

"But rather, to let us use it as a way to heal, collectively, and celebrate my brother's too, too short life on this moral coral. Thank you all." Cheryl finishes as everyone seemed to clap. I watch as Cheryl walka away, letting everyone clean out the gymnasium before lunch started

☾

I sit under a tree at lunch time, surprisingly, not with Jughead. We got seperated as everyone was piling on top of each other to get out of the gym. I was looking down, drawing, as I heard someone approach me.

I slowly look up and my eyes meet with an unfamiliar brown pair.

"Hi. I'm Veronica Lodge. And who might you be?" She introduces herself, smiling brightly down at me.

"Uh.. Alexandria. Nelson." I reply, timidly. I knew who she was and who her parents were. It's probably weird that I know so many things about these teens parents, and they don't even know the half of it.

"That's a pretty name," Her smile never fell, in fact I'm pretty sure it grew when I hummed a small 'thank you', "You're welcome. Anyways, I saw you over here alone and wanted to invite you to come sit with me and my friends."

I look over at the table she was sitting at and see that Betty and Kevin staring over at us before I look up at her again.

I'm probably about to make a big mistake..

"Sure. Beats sitting here alone."

I gather my stuff and follow her back to the table with Betty and Kevin. I wave slightly as I sit down and take my sketchbook out again, and decide to continue some old family pictures.

There was an awkward silence, that I was blind to Betty and Kevin sat shifting from my presence at the table. Veronica glared at them as she probably thought that I didn't notice. However, I did notice but didn't show it.

Someone cleared their throat and I look up to see it was Veronica. I sit up straight and place my pencil on the table, turning slightly to look at her.

"So. I have a few questions. If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to answer."

I nod slightly. She seems nice, nothing like her supposed manipulative father that I've heard about.

She smiles slightly and looks at my book, "So.. You're an artist?"

I nod once more,  "Yeah, I guess. Right now I'm just drawing an old picture of my mom bwck when she was in high school. It just helps keep my mind of things."

I slid my book towards her and show her the picture I'm recreating. I'm currently on the details, already having the main base line work done.

She nods  before grabbing the photo and analyze it, before putting it down and points at my mom, who was in the middle between my dad and Alice.

"Is that your mom?" She asks hesitantly. Noticing her being tence about asking the question, I just smile softly.

"Yeah.. That is."

"She's very beautiful."

"Thank you." I sigh slightly, "Her beauty ran throughout her. She was kind to everyone.. She thought everyone deserved a second chance.. Hell, push your luck, you may even got a third. She protected the ones she loves. Sometimes I don't even know how I could be someone better than her."

I shake my head as I stare at the picture. I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I stare at her. Ehat sucks is that she could be dead somewhere and we wouldn't even know. She's been gone for years, and no one knows what could have happened.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Veronica panicked as she saw the tears fall down my face.

I shrug it off, wiping the tears away, "You didn't do anything. You have no reason to apologize."

I take the picture from her and place it back in my sketchbook.

"Thanks for inviting me, Veronica.. But I think I've over stayed my welcome." I glance over to the two looking at me before I say my goodbyes and got up to go hide somewhere.

I walk into the building and I find yhe music room empty. I look around before walking inside, closing the door behind me. I place my stuff by the door – after I grab my notebook – and go over to the piano, running my fingers over the keys. I sit down on the bench, sitting my notebook out in front of me.

I slowly start to play the piano as everything slowly started to become natural again. I smile softly before closing my eyes as I let my hands run over the keys.

"Finding refuge in my own lies.. ‘How are you?’ ‘I'm doing alright’.. Small talk is a great disguise– just let me be, just let me be.." I sang softly as I played the notes on the piano, "Empty thoughts start cloud my mind.. Am I only living, living to survive? Shake it off, but I lost the drive– just let me be, just let me be.. Let me be o-kay.

"No knows what goes on up inside my head.. There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread. No knows what goes on up inside my head, they don't think I need help but I'm scaring myself.. I just want be okay.. I just want to be ok."

I lost myself in the song, I didn't even notice the door open to whomever noticed me singing.

"All the voices in my head are coming to life.. They're getting louder and I'm, I'm terrified..! How do you tunf tom your own mind? Is this what I've become? Take back, what have I.. done?"

I didn't even noticed that I've started crying until a tear fell on my hand. I pull my hands away from the keys to wipe my face, chuckling to myself. I let the room become quiet before clapping was heard from behind me. I instantly pop up, making the bench fall at my sudden movement, as I look into a familiar pair of bluish green eyes, making my releax a bit.

"How long have you been there?" I ask, immediately fixing the bench before grabbing notebook and shoving it back in my bag. Jughead smirked teasingly.

"I didn't know you could sing." He dodge the question, looking at me sling my bag over my shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question, Jones." I pressed as I look at my shoes timidly. Anything seemed more interesting than the teasing male in front of me.

"How have I known you for years, but never realise you could sing?" At this point, he seemed genuinely confused. He was no longer teasing, but seemed more disappointed in himself for reason.

"It's something I did to help calm my nerves for a short while. As well as playing the piano." He nods and wraps a arm around my shoulder, "Let's go get this day ocer with."

☾

"So, Pop's?" Juggy asks as we walk along the bleachers outside. It was after school hours, it was still open due to after school activities. We just decided to stick due to pure boredom.

"Jug, you practically live at Pop's. You can wait another thirty minutes." I tease him as he groans playfully, making me laugh softly.

"Hey, Alex!" I hear someone call. Me and Jug turn to see Ronnie waving her down, in her new Riverdale Vixens cheer outfit, next to Betty, who is also wearing her outfit.

"Ronnie. Hi! What's up?" I call back, using my hand to keep the sun out of my eyes.

"Are you coming to the semiformal?" She asks, curiously.

"I dunno! School dances aren't really my thing!" I reply, squinting my eyes as my hand doesn't do much protections for my eyes.

"What do you mean? From what I heard, you're last school dance was probably a school Christmas party!"

"She's got you there." Jughead mumbles in my ear, making me elbow him in the stomach. "Ow!"

"C'mon! You can even bring mister Jason Dean behind you!" She points over to the beanie clad boy behind me.

"I'll think about it! I'll let you know my answer later!"

She nods before walking away with Betty. I turn to continue walking with Jug.

"Another school dance. Maybe this one can make up for the Valentine's Day one." He jokes.

"Is it wrong I wanna go?" I whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear, but he's right next to me, so of course he does.

"No. It's not." He stops and turns to me, "Let's make a deal. If I go with you to the dance, we have to leave early and go to Pop's."

I nod, "I'm ok with that."

He smiles as I smile back. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as we walk towards the actual school building, going inside to end the school day.

[scige-archive]

welcome 2 my twisted mind ex dee !!

PREFERRED NAME — james :o)

PRONOUNS — she/they

AGE — 20 whole years i am aging rapidly

PINTEREST — HERE!

DISCORD —  sniff#3644

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — svrgcnts is my muse / rph except im rly lazy n don’t do shit

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — i like the attention on twitter but i’d prefer 2 b im’d for that ,,, it’s got my Face on it ,,,

MYER-BRIGGS — istp or w/e the fuck ,,, used to be infp or smth tho

HP HOUSE — i ,,, i don’t know ,,, i always get a different answer ,,, u tell me

ZODIAC — [burps] aquarius

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — no ... ? like ... it’s just a fun ol’ thing but i don’t base my life around it ... i won’t scorn u if ur a gemini or smth

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — uhh ... 19 i think ?? off tumblr it’s been a whole decade tho

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2018 :/

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — it was a closed group but we had an rp based out in the desert / loosely based on killjoys where ppl would build big ol’ robots and fight them in an arena n it was like ... dystopian. i had a gal named uuuhhh ... nora maybe ?? her granddad was the local fortune teller n she was one of the engineers

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — are raccoons that far off .... from being realistic ... i’ve seen it done before ...

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — alligators. alligators by trophy scars

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — uuhh ... fucking uuuhh ... what books have i liked ... pride and prejudice or the great gatsby b/c i always hated assigned reading but i’m a whore for mr. darcy n i liked daisy buchanan probably too much :/

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — uuhhh ... fuckin’ ... i didn’t like mice of men ?? i don’t know how popular that was. don’t like the hazel wood by melissa albert or w/e but does Anybody lmao ... i don’t rly know ... hated this book i think called splinter and it was like alice in wonderland meets scene kids and i thought it was fuckin’ stupid.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — i haven’t binged any tv show recently ! i watched howl’s moving castle and shrek back-to-back though :/

FAVOURITE QUOTE — i’m big stupid ... i don’t know ... feed me anne carson quotes ...

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — rarely but i usually write urban fantasy ... big fantasy slut here

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — jenna marbles, emilia fart, sidney lavin, and BONUS youtuber joana ceddia

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — um ... uuh ... anne hathaway ... i think there’s another celebrity that makes me feel a certain way but i just. cannot remember atm.

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no but my mom’s friend dated lenny kravitz in high school

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — this ... but without anxiety

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was mc’fuckin’murdered :/

ARE ALIENS REAL? — yuh

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — lily’s garden atm

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i actually ... don’t like spirited away as much as i used to as a kid which makes me :/ still love howl’s moving castle though

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — sea shells and pretty rocks, books, random knick knacks, lighters, condoms except that one was accidental

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — i wanna learn ... some cool nature science shit ... animals and shit ... i’m not lazy i’m just poor and 2 stupid 4 a science major

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, spanish, and like ... arabic maybe

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — shrek ... princess diaries ... uuhhh ... halloweentown and all the sequels ... maybe legally blonde

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — [sticks fingers into my nostrils] uuhhh ... veronica mars, scott pilgrim, molly from booksmart, kelso, penelope garcia, mike myers’ cat in the hat, dr. evil, scooby doo

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no.

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — no.

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — miss fisher’s murder mysteries ... very good if u like detectives but hate bbc sherlock. six of crows 4 a book. deponia (the complete journey) for a video game ... check out big fish if u wanna see danny devito’s bare ass

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — elon musk’s ... i don’t like him but i need to Know.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — once upon a time in hollywood. it sucks and i hate feet but all the girls ? hot as fuck.

DO YOU STILL READ? — uuh ... kind of ??

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — last book i was reading but haven’t finished and haven’t ... gotten around to reading more of ... is strange the dreamer which is a really good book i’m just shit for brains

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – like ... a 5 i think ... my back hurts and i have 2 pee