#i think i've combined every story i've written in my entire life then i'd be over five million words...close to ten mil?
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glowingreverie · 5 months ago
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tache-noire · 11 months ago
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20 Questions for Writers
tagged by: @dilf-in-peril HI THANK YOU
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
43!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
84,772
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Pro wrestling, right now. AEW and probably ROH and WWE in the future.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
I'm going from #2 onwards because #1 is a collection of stories that i have since re-uploaded separately, and the original collection is now hidden and inaccessible.
Ass-Kisser (Max Caster/MJF sloppy rimming+fucking in a hallway)
A Day In The Life Of A Dog (Play-by-play of House Of Black's activities on a show day, centered around Brody)
Welcome To The Business (Christian Cage+Luchasaurus/Nick Wayne noncon)
Daddy's Boys (The Acclaimed celebrate a win by DP-ing Billy Gunn)
Give Me Your Violence (Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley rough sex)
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try to reply to every one, even if it's just "thank you!" or "I'm glad you liked it!"
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
How It Begins. I wasn't PLANNING on exploring Luchasaurus' psyche, but it happened anyway.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A Future With You is the sappiest thing i've ever written, by far. alpha4alpha husbands.....
8. Do you get hate on fics?
A looooooong time ago on a Dio Brando/Giorno Giovanna fic. I deleted it though.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
It's almost all i write. I tried to write actual plot once, but then i lost steam.
EDIT: I JUST REALIZED I SKIPPED PART 2 OF THE QUESTION
as for what kind i write, it's pure depraved kink, usually :) I have very few limits and they are eroding every day.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've never actually written one, but I have some ideas rattling around in my head about a Hannibal/Crimes Of The Future crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A couple, yes. I don't remember which ones, though.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I really don't know. I love any combination of Samoa Joe, CM Punk, and MJF, and any combination of Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, and Luchasaurus. And I like Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I'd really like to finish Tokeback Mountain someday, but for now it's labeled as discontinued. Evil Uno is surprisingly hard to write, and I'm eternally torn between including his shoot insecurities about his body and some mushy "noooo youre so sexy" shit, or keeping to kayfabe and having him be comfortable.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've gotten a couple comments mentioning characterization, so I guess I'm good at that. I think I write dialogue fairly well, too.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Anything other than pure smut, i think. I have trouble putting breathing room between actions/scenes.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Ehhhh. If it's gonna be entire sentences, I just don't do it. A couple words, maybe, but if a character's entire dialogue would have to be translated, I just keep it in english, italicize it, and leave a note that explains it. Like if I'm gonna write a fic about the Lucha Brothers and it's just them talking to each other, i'm going to write it in English, even though it should be assumed that they're speaking Spanish.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Silent Hill 2. You can still find my first fic on fanfiction.net if you really dig for it and somehow know it when you read it. My writing style changed drastically over the last 2 years though!
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I'm torn between a couple. Right at this moment I'm gonna say Reversal, because it was a weird sort of breakthrough where I didn't just write a kink I've never written before and was even a little uncomfortable with, but I took it almost as far as I possibly could, and I ended up loving it.
tagging: TAGGING MAKES ME NERVOUS BECAUSE I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME I'M ANNOYING. IF YOU WRITE AND YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT YOUR WRITING, PLEEEAAAAAASE DO
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sturkillerbase · 3 years ago
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Tag Game
Thank you so much for the tag @scorpio-marionette and @misspearly1
Which one of your fics would you enjoy the most if you were able to read it for the first time?
I actually went back to reread my fics before answering these. I've written several imagines, that's how I started, and only later started writing actual fics. I would really like to have the chance to read Ancient Tales for the first time. I invested so much in it, I researched a lot, I added a bit that was inspired by my grandfather, even though I didn't get to meet him. I was so happy about it! But the first chapter only got 26 notes. And the second only 12, all likes... It was my second year in uni, and I had loads of work to do. So that combined with no feedback made me leave it behind. There are things I would've done better if I were to write it today, but it's still a good work. Sad thing I don't remember entirely the whole story to continue it...
Which fic are you most proud of? Why?
I am very proud of It's All Coming Back to Me in Waves. I'm finally good enough in English to have very little misspellings. I'm more mature, so my writing is infinitely better than when I started; I started writing it with the whole story already in my head, so as it goes I only fix something here and there and then add or take away something. I've been on a down side for the past few weeks that blocks me enough to be unable to write, thus delaying the whole thing from being finished. But I finally feel better and I'll be able to catch up soon!
Is their a work you would like to do over again? For any reason, to perfect it, to relive writing it, ect.
As I mentioned before, it was fun to write Ancient Tales. I'd like to do it again both so I could remember what was the ending I had planned for it and to make it better, give it a better flow. My oldest fics are Memories and Broken. They're poorly written - I was just a dumb teenager - my english wasn't so fluent and I didn't even had someone to ask to be my beta. I think they were great ideas, just badly developed. Both were also abandoned after getting absolutely no feedback :/
How do you feel about comments/reblogs/likes?
I absolutely love them, specially reblogs and comments. I wish I got more. I wouldn't have so many unfinished works if I had at least a few people back then to support me. Thankfully, things are better in this new fanfic era of mine, and although I'm no super famous blog, the readers who stick with me are so kind and supportive! Entering the Pedro Pascal fandom has been one of the greatest experiences I've ever had!
Is there a fic that you were shocked to find other people liked? Why?
Years later abandoning Ancient Tales, I got a comment on Ao3 wondering where were the missing chapters and complimenting me for my research on history. I was so shocked!
Is there a fic you wish more people had liked?
ANCIENT TALES!!!
Also Promises Under the Moon got little to no attention. I had bigger hopes for it :( Apparently people are only interested in Dieter Bravo fics if it involves smut.
Is there an idea that you were excited about but just didn't pan out?
Ok, mix of story time and idea explanation here: I once had the chance to dance with my school crush. He was THE crush. I remember that day so dearly. It was so unexpected and sweet and I was shaking all over once the song ended and I went back home smiling to myself like an idiot. It inspired me to write the same scenario for Bucky, except the fic would have a happier ending where the reader would actually start dating him, unlike real life me. I never forgot it though, but I don't know if I'll ever write it.
How do you feel when you post a new fic?
A bit anxious. I always post it before going to sleep so I won't be checking my notifs every 2 minutes. But I'm always hopeful that it'll have better feedback than the last one. It rarely has though...
Thank you for tagging me again! I love answering questions and these were really interesting!
NP tags: @sakkajagga @thegreenkid @supernaturalgirl20 @mandoblowmybackout @ezrasbirdie and anyone else who'd like to join! (also sorry if you've already been tagged, but do tag me to see the answers, I'm loving to read these!)
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nightshade-minho · 4 years ago
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-Embers- (2)
warnings: heavy-ish suggestiveness, future smut, themes of heartbreak and pain, mentioned parent death, jealousy, angry fathers.
wc: 5.7k
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Heartbreak.
It's something you've thought about, in theory. You've wondered how it feels to be heartbroken, especially when you were younger, when almost everything was of interest to your curious brain. Could a heart break? What exactly did that mean? 
Mr Yang's novels were your first introduction to characters who'd gone through that pain. His books had described it as a perpetual feeling of hurt, one which a person would never get over. You wondered if it was even possible to experience pain like that. Pain so bad you felt your heart shattering.
You still remembered that day you thought about it properly for the first time.
***
You shut your book and looked over at Minho, who had been cloudgazing as he waited for you to finish it. Days like this were common. Minho would get you a new book every week, and the two of you would go to the lake and laze around in the sun. You often worried that Minho would find it boring to sit next to you while you read, having nothing to do. On the contrary, he was quite content with the way things were. He liked how warm the grass felt against his skin, and how calming the sounds of rippling water were as he rested his head against Aeracus’s side.
"Wow. That definitely didn't end on a good note." You shook your head, letting out a sigh and laying back.
Minho glanced up at you, sitting up slightly. "You finished it? So soon?"
"Mhm. I got a little too invested in the story."
"Ah. If I'd known you would read it this fast, I would have borrowed more than one from him."
"It's okay, I can wait a few days.' You say, your tone reassuring as you placed Mr Yang's precious book next to you on the grass, carefully. The man put great care into binding and writing his books, all by hand with no one to assist him. You didn’t want to be the one to soil his hard work.
"Good, cause I'm not going back there so soon. There's three girls who have basically set up camp outside Mr Yang's to catch a glimpse of me."
You rolled your eyes, playfully shoving him. "You act like you're a celebrity or something. We get it, you have a lot of fangirls."
"And fanboys. Some of them are quite cute actually. Just last week a dude proposed to me."
"No way. He proposed?"
"Yeah." He let out a low chuckle. "I think I recognized him from the docks. Seen him once or twice, but I've never said a word to him. I felt bad though, he was actually pretty."
"You should have said yes." You pouted, holding back a giggle. "I've always wanted to be maid of honor at a wedding."
Minho shook his head, sitting up and scooting over. Grabbing your waist, he pulled you into him, so that the both of you were curled up against his sleeping dragon.
"Maid of honor?"
"Yeah! I mean, what's the point of having a best friend if you don't get to play that crucial role in their wedding?"
Minho sighed, looking over at you with a fond smile as he bit his cheek. "Oh Y/n, what am I going to do with you? Maid of honor." He chuckled again at the exaggerated pout you flashed him, poking his side. “What’s so funny?”
There was silence for a few minutes as he looked up at the sky, eyes running over a cloud that looked a little like a five-pointed star. Humming, he leaned in a little.
A short inhale before he whispered into your ear, lips brushing against the shell of it and making your hairs stand on end.
"I hate to break it to you Y/n, but you'll never be maid of honor at my wedding." He mumbled softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"Cause you'll be the bride."
For a minute, a stunned look passed over your face as you comprehended his words. It took a whole 60 seconds for you to process, but soon you swatted at his hand, descending into a fit of hopeless giggles at his cheesy line. "Shut up!"
"Hey! I was being serious." he had an offended look on his face as he held your chin, making you face him again.
You looked at his expression and stopped, your cheeks flushing as you realized he meant it. Your heart was racing, your eyes blinking rapidly as your mushy mess of a brain tried to figure out what an appropriate, mature response would be.
Quickly you pushed him off you, stumbling to your feet and beginning to run. So much for being mature.
"Race you home!"
Minho watched you run, shaking his head and sighing to himself as he slowly picked himself up. If only you knew how sincere he was.
If only he knew your heart hadn't stopped pounding for the rest of the night.
Mr Yang's books had been the main contribution to your adolescent fantasies, to be honest. As the local librarian, he supplied you with a regular supply of books, but none were as satisfying as the ones he wrote himself. His writing was descriptive on another level, and pulled you in like no other author could. He was your greatest inspiration, which was why his description of heartbreak had been the one to stick with you the most, all the way to adulthood.
It was described as a lingering emotion in the back of your head, staying with you your whole life to remind you of what could have been. It was nauseating, painful and everlasting. He'd written about the emotion so intensively, that at the time you almost felt like you did truly know how it felt.
You were wrong.
Heartbreak, real heartbreak, was a lot less pain and a lot more emptiness. Yes, it did feel like all those things mentioned before- but there was more to it than that. Your heart, which had been brimming with excitement and happiness not too long ago, felt void. Dark, lifeless. It had been so sudden, so out of the blue that your emotions were a confused jumble.
Of course, there was pain too- agony, more like. Ripping through your entire being as you watched him kiss her cheek yet again. It was so all consuming, so terrifyingly excruciating.
You were across the dinner table by your father's side, the spoon in your hand held in a tight grip as you tried your best to avert your eyes from the sight. After all, you were currently sat at the table with three other chiefs and their families, as well as a few advisors and high ranking guards. You had to look refined and elegant, a person befitting the title of Ember’s heir- not a gawking, bitter girl staring at your once lover canoodling with his fiancée.
Finally managing to tear your eyes away, you let your eyes run over the guests that would be staying with you for the next few weeks. You reminded yourself that you were in no position to be a dejected, woeful and pathetic individual in front of all these important people. Appearances had to be kept up, or you would face dire consequences. Your father’s pride was hurt enough as it is, what with his daughter being the only one who couldn’t participate in the championships. You didn’t want to give him any more reasons to hate you.
Next to your father was the Aqua chief, his wife and their daughter- Minho’s fiancée. They were dressed in blue silks, dripping with sapphires and lapides lazuli. The royal blue draped around them was deep, the fabric clearly expensive and not too unlike the dress you were wearing currently. 
The Aqua heiress was the spitting image of her mother, both their faces round and their features pretty. She was dressed similarly to her parents, with a tiny diadem upon her brown locks, her gown objectively fancier than yours. She continued talking to Minho, the plate of food in front of her untouched.
Minho.
You hated how beautiful he looked, dressed in white and grey. His uniform was simple, all clean lines and crisp edges. It suited him perfectly, like it was made for him. Which it probably was. 
The two of them seemed to be in their own little world as Minho whispered something into her ear, making her giggle yet again. Your throat felt clogged. Blinking, you quickly looked away from them, your eyes landing on Minho’s father. He looked the same as he always did, except now slightly frailer. He was wearing the same uniform as his son, although he didn’t quite fill it out the same way. You chewed on your lip, glancing at him one last time before turning to the Terra family. 
The Terra chief was a rotund, pot-bellied man who had his attention completely focused on his plate, not contributing much to the conversation the three other chiefs were having. You couldn’t blame him, really- the maids had cooked up a delightful feast. You were sure you’d have devoured your entire plate by now if circumstances had been different. The empty feeling in your stomach was making it hard to savour the roast beef, which you reluctantly ate. 
He and his wife were both dressed in earthly, neutral tones combined with deep greens- and positively covered in every kind of jewel found under the Earth. The rubies on your dress looked like chili flakes in comparison to the twinkling emeralds and gems on the Terra family.
Their son, the Terra heir, looked just as miffed as you, to be honest. He wasn’t as bejewelled as his parents, wearing a shade of green that provided you comfort as you looked at him. It reminded you of the grass near the lake you and Minho once frequented.
He caught your gaze suddenly. Smiling, his heart-shaped lips curving upwards. He shot a glance towards Minho and his girl, and then back at you, raising an eyebrow.
You tried your best to smile back, or give him a knowing wink, or something. But all you could do was stare blankly, your emotions having been sucked out of you. You still failed to comprehend what had happened, your brain seemingly giving up on you and leaving you alone with nothing but your broken heart for company.
Soon enough, the smile melted away from the man's face, and he looked back down at his plate, a little dejected. You felt a flash of regret, fleeting however as you suddenly felt a sharp voice whispering in your ear.
You looked up in confusion at your father, who had previously been immersed in a conversation with Minho’s father and the Aqua chief. Now his face was right by your ear.
"Number one, stop staring. You’re lucky I’m the only one who noticed. Number two, stop by my office before you go to sleep tonight, okay? It’s important." He said, voice stern.
Gulping and nodding, you watched as he turned away, diving right back into the conversation he was having. What did he possibly want to talk about? You rarely talked to your father these days, unless arguments could be counted.
You spent the rest of the meal in contemplation, staring down at your plate. Your hand moved methodically, shoving food into your mouth without actually tasting anything; All you could taste was regret.
It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. Despite not looking up, her giggle still pierced your ears from time to time, stabbing you deep in the heart. You'd seen it...the way Minho had been looking at her. He'd once reserved such looks for you and you only. Turns out, every meaningful word he'd said back then were lies. Every promise of forever had been empty.
A small part of you reminded yourself that it wasn't his fault he was kicked out from your village. He’d thought you didn’t oppose your father, and simply watched as he and his father was humiliated. Were you being irrational in expecting him to have stayed single until he came back to you? Hell, was it stupid to think he could even bear to glance at you after what your father had did?
Life was unpredictable, nothing was written in stone. How could he even have known he'd ever be in the same room as you again?
No. Y/n, don't do this. Don't force yourself to make up excuses for him. The man had barely cast a glance at you since he arrived. His eyes had been cold and stony the only time you'd made eye contact. 
Besides, if he really knew you, he would have known you wouldn’t betray him like that. And if he really loved you, he would have waited. He wouldn’t have moved on so easily. 
It was still fresh in your mind, despite having happened a few hours ago, now. The way you’d felt your hopes and dreams shattering to the ground in a million pieces, all in a span of a few seconds. Your heart, vibrating so fast it was almost going to implode.
As you continued drowning in your emotions, reliving the pain you'd felt, you suddenly felt a pair of eyes burning into you, sharply. Confused, you looked up, expecting the Terra heir to be the one looking back at you.
It wasn't him.
Minho quickly looked away before you could react, going back to talking to the heiress. It had only been for a second, but you’d caught him.
He’d been staring. At you. For a second, the tiniest flash of hope lit up your heart. But it was gone quickly, as the Aqua chief started laughing boisterously at a question the Terra chief's wife had asked.
"Yes, Jisu and Minho are deeply in love, Calandra. Honestly. Why would they be getting married otherwise?" He smiled, looking over at the two who had stopped talking to listen.
"This one-" He ruffled his daughter's head, chuckling. "She was so smitten. Kept sneaking out past the border to meet him. Of course when I found out, I was more than happy to let them join hands. I couldn’t imagine a son better than Minho to marry my little girl."
"That's sweet." You glanced up at your father as he said the words. He seemed to be gritting his teeth in slight vexation, the annoyance on his face clear. At least, to you it was.
"The wedding will take place a month after the championships." Minho's father said suddenly, smiling proudly as he grabbed a glass of wine. "You're all invited, of course. It will take place at my village. Now, raise a glass for the happy couple!"
A few claps sounded as everyone at the table raised their glasses. You carefully avoided Jisu's shy smile and Minho's confident smirk, his arm wrapped around her shoulder firmly. As if she would break into a million pieces if he let go.
You hated that you knew exactly how he behaved when he was in love. And now you weren’t on the receiving end of his adoration. 
You weren’t used to this. 
Yes, you’d lived your life as normally as you could without him for the past few years...but this was different. He was right there, and yet he wasn’t yours. So close, but you couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t feel him. Couldn’t kiss his lips and tell him how much he meant to you.
Your eyes darted about as they tried to find an appropriate thing to focus your gaze on. You raised your glass like everyone else, downed the amber liquid a little faster than the rest. You refused to let yourself look at the two.
Your eyes landed on the Terra heir after a few seconds. You weren't completely sure what his name was, but you have a vague recollection of your father telling you everyone’s names. Of course, at the time you’d been too overcome with excitement to digest the information.
Felix? Yes, that was it.
He seemed sweet. Friendly, even. His smile was a little sympathetic as he looked back at you, and that threw you off. You decided to put a smile on your face immediately, trying to conceal the pain that you’d hoped wasn’t evident.
Your mind flitted back and forth as everyone’s plates gradually cleared up. What were you going to do after this? 
Originally, you'd been planning to go to Minho's room tonight. Fuck, you’d dreamed of how tonight would go for months now, ever since your father had told you the news. But how could you now? 
Everything was fucking disintegrating.
***
You walked down the hallway to your father's office, your heels clicking against the stone slabs. Your dress was starting to feel itchy, and you couldn’t wait to take it off. You resentfully recalled how excited you’d felt when your maids had helped you into it. How all you could think about was Minho seeing you in it. You’d never expected him to barely acknowledge you.
Sighing, you passed through the hallway, stopping when you heard a high-pitched giggle come out of nowhere.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you glanced around you in confusion. 
Another laugh, this one deeper, followed by what seemed like a...moan?
The pain came back full force, hurtling through you and overtaking you completely. As you walked, the sounds started to feel closer. You wished you could cover your ears to block them out, but at the same time you were consumed with curiosity. Was it what you think it was?
Suddenly, you heard another sound. Now, it was clear where they were coming from.
The sounds were from beyond the door that led to your father's old bedroom, the one he used to share with your mother before she died. You frowned, puzzled as you walked closer to the door.
Had he really given away that room to Minho and his fiancée? It hadn't been used in years, and had always been covered up and inaccessible. Even the maids weren’t allowed to clean in there. It was the biggest bedroom in the house, and the thought of it occupied by them was causing fresh tears to prick at your eyes. 
You felt the lump in your throat make itself more prominent, blinking rapidly as your heart pounded. Suddenly, your legs started moving of their own accord.
Before you knew it, you were stood in front of the large door, your hand raised and knocking firmly on the gilded wood as you swallowed.
There was complete silence for a second or two, but then there were scrambling noises, along with the sound of rustling bedsheets. You tried to calm the beating of your heart, as you waited for the door to open.
When it finally did, you felt like your heart was almost about to burst out of your chest.
She was the one who opened it. She was clearly half naked, having pulled on a blue robe hastily. Running a hand through her hair, she greeted you, her voice a little shaky.
"Oh- um, hello…” She pressed her lips together, glancing behind her for a second. You followed her gaze, to Minho on the bed.
He was shirtless, his hair messed up and his eyes carefully trained on the wall beside him, away from you. You swallowed again, tears threatening to spill past your eyes as you quickly tried to turn your attention back to the woman in front of you.
Too late. She'd noticed. She frowned at you, subtly moving to the side a little to cover Minho from your view.
"I know we haven't formally met yet. I'm Choi Jisu, the Aqua heiress. I’m sure you know." She smiled, albeit a little forced. "And I did want to thank you for letting us stay-"
There was an impatient grunt from behind her, and she looked behind back briefly before turning to you once more.
"Um, I don’t know if you noticed, but I was kind of in the middle of something. Sorry." She tried her best to hide her smile, her voice heavily insincere. “Let’s talk later, Y/n. And maybe next time you won’t be interrupting anything.” She smiled, beginning to close the door.
"Later." 
You just stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to reply. Your face was passive but your brain was overrun with thoughts. The tears would spill any minute now. 
She frowned at your reaction, tilting her head before gently shutting the door in your face.
You just stood there for a moment. You could hear Minho's voice, muffled as he said something to her.
A part of you wanted to press your ear to the door and listen, but you already looked pathetic enough to the guards standing in the hallway, one of them already having flashed you a sympathetic look. You were really having enough of all this fucking sympathy.
Sighing, you dragged your feet away, trying to push everything down, but to no avail. There were too many enotions, and they were too heavy to even let you think. 
You thought back to her behaviour. You'd definitely picked up on her attitude, which had soured after she’d caught you looking at her fiancé. Jisu wasn’t a fan of you, that much was clear. And neither was the person who’d once declared himself your biggest fan. Ironic, really.
***
“Who was at the door?” Minho asked carefully, although he’d already seen you. Standing there, looking at him. 
You’d looked smaller, vulnerable. So, so different. Almost alarmingly so.
He tried to best to keep his tone even, eyes trained on Jisu as she slunk back to the bed, having shut the door.
“The Ember heiress.” She said, a slight sting to her tone. “Why do you think she came?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I...don’t know.” Minho muttered, staring at the bedsheets. His heart was clenching, hands starting to shake a little. 
No. Not in front of Jisu.
“Weren’t you two ‘best friends’ once?” She asked carefully, having picked up on his icy behavior. Jisu knew, of course. Despite Minho and you trying to keep it a secret, at one point the entire village came to know the two of you were in love. The information had even spread across the village, to others. 
Of course, the chiefs were the only ones who’d been clueless, only finding out after they’d been separated.
Minho scoffed, shaking his head. He gestured to her, hooking his fingers under his boxers to pull them down. “Forget that. Come back here, baby.”
Jisu raised an eyebrow, looking like she wanted to say more. However, Minho’s almost naked body was difficult to resist.
Shrugging, she slid her robe off, letting the silk fall to the floor as she straddled him. His hands ran up her hips, watching her, feeling her. 
His brain, however, felt like it was a million miles away.
***
The tears ran down your face. You were no longer able to hold them back. Realizing you were probably about to break down in the middle of the hallway, you walked faster towards the office- 
Until you bumped into someone on the way, almost knocking them over.
“Woah, woah, slow down.” Felix chuckled, holding onto your arms to keep you on your feet.
You looked up at him, blinking as you registered what you’d just done. “Fuck- I’m so sorry-”
“No, it’s okay.” He smiled, realizing his hands were still on you. He quickly took them away, tucking them into his pockets. His cheeks were dusted a light pink as he cleared his throat, looking at you in concern.
You quickly wiped away your tears, but Felix had unfortunately already noticed.
“Hey, are you okay? I noticed... I noticed you didn’t seem so happy at the dinner.” He said softly, looking down at you. 
You remained silent, staring at the floor as you wondered how to reply. You didn’t want to seem any more pitiable than you already were.
“Uh, it’s okay if you don’t want to say anything. I’m sorry if I overstepped.” He shook his head, stepping back slightly. His voice was almost more nervous than yours. “Um, I’ll leave you be now. Sorry-”
You looked up, sighing. “Wait…” 
Felix looked back, an expectant, almost hopeful look on his face. You didn’t want to let him down, you really didn’t...but it was difficult to pretend like you were okay. You were shivering, biting on your lip. You already felt humiliated enough.
“Sorry. I...I need to go, I’m sorry.” You mumbled, quickly walking away from a bewildered Felix. As soon as you turned the corner, you breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall as your body shuddered. 
You’d never cried like this, not even when Caeli had died. Not even when Minho had left, because back then you’d still possessed some kind of hope. Hope that just wasn’t there anymore.
Rubbing your cheeks, you managed to get rid of the tear stains. You hoped your eyes weren’t too red- you weren’t ready for any comments from your father today. Breathing in, you continued walking, still massaging your eyes in a desperate bid to get them dry.
You groaned as you noticed you’d reached your father’s office quicker than you thought you would. Inhaling deeply, you tried to pull yourself together. You really didn’t like showing weakness in front of him, but lately that was all you did.
You knocked on the door carefully, waiting for him to open the door.
“Door’s open, come in.”
You pushed open the heavy oak door, stepping in.
"Y/n. Finally. Where have you been?"
"Nowhere important." You said quickly, clearing your throat. "Um... you said you wanted to see me, dad?"
He cleared his throat. "Yes." He rearranged the files on his desk quickly, standing and coming over to lean on the front of his desk. He sighed, screwing his face up in thought as he wondered where to start.
"I can’t believe Lee really scored a marriage for his son. Do you know what this means? A heir marrying an heiress? They'll possess power we can’t even begin to imagine." He paced back and forth, clenching his fists in barely concealed anger. You rolled your eyes slightly. Of course your father thought it was a ploy to gain power. He’d never believed in love, and most probably never will.
“So?” 
"So? So?!” He shook his head. “See, this is exactly why the villagers think you’re too incompetent.” He glared, making you cower. Your heart pounded quicker, your lips pressing together. No more tears, you had to control them.
“Look, Y/n...I’ll put it plain and simple. Ember has been the most powerful for centuries. We’ve always had the strongest dragons, and the sturdiest men. Our village is the largest in the country, and all eyes are on us.”
He pinched his forehead. “Do you know how embarrassing it is that Ember’s heiress, the one who should be the most powerful of all, is nothing but a lovesick, pathetic little girl who doesn’t even have a fucking dragon to compete with?!”
You blinked, sniffing as you stared at the floor. You could always count on your father to reinforce negative emotions. His eyes burning into you, chest heaving in anger. 
He sighed, watching as your shoulders shook slightly. Softening a little, he inhaled. It always went that way. He’d blow up at you, and subsequently regret it. He couldn’t take back anything he said, though.
“Sorry, child.” You remained silent, looking up a little. His face seemed sincere enough.
“Hm. I have an idea..." He mumbled, placing a finger on his chin. You could almost see the cogs and gears turning in his brain.
"What did you think of Felix? Nice boy, isn't he?"
You frowned at your father's words, his expression seeming innocent...but his intentions clearly weren't.
"The Terra heir?" You asked, sighing. "He seems nice. Why are you asking?"
"No reason." He shrugged, fiddling with the Ember figurine on his desk.
You groaned, rubbing your forehead. "Dad...don't tell me you want to marry me off to him."
"What?? No!" Your father shook his head vehemently, still playing with the figurine and avoiding your eyes. "I was just thinking. Uh-"
He looked back at you and sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. But...just consider it, okay? An arranged marriage...an alliance between Ember and Terra could be phenomenal."
You pursed your lips, flashes of Minho and Jisu running through your head as you thought it over. Fuck it, why not? It wasn’t like you had any reason to oppose him. "Fine, dad. I’ll think about it, but I’m not promising anything. Besides, I don’t even know if he’s interested in me."
"I saw the way he was looking at you from across the table, child. He definitely has some curiosity, at the very least.” He hummed. “Anyway, that's actually not why I called you here."
You raised an eyebrow, confused as he went back to his seat, sitting down and pulling up a large, dusty book.
"Look...I'm worried. There's something ominous about this. Their marriage...it poses too many conveniences and benefits for both the chiefs to be a mere coincidence.”
You frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"
He looked to be deep in thought. When he heard you speak, he snapped back to attention, shaking his head. "I’m not sure yet. Now, even if I managed to convince Farran to get his child married to you, it still doesn’t provide us power directly. Without a dragon, it’s likely they’ll make you reside in the Terra village once this is all over.” He hummed, looking like he was talking to himself rather than addressing you. “No...we need a reason to make you stay here. You’re an Ember heiress, the future chief of this legendary village. However, you definitely need to look the part. You need to prove to everyone that you’re powerful, Y/n. Shatter their expectations...and mine.” He smiled, gesturing for you to come closer.
 “I was wondering...do you want to participate in the championships?"
Your eyes widened impossibly, your words stuttering as you moved forward. You couldn’t believe your ears, not one bit. It sounded too good to be true.
“Wait- really?”
“Yes.”
“But...but I don’t have a drag-”
“You can participate with Aeracus.”
No. No way. For the first time since the welcoming, you felt true happiness overtake you. Jumping, you squealed in delight, barely able to hide your glee. “Oh my god, thank you, dad! Thank you so so much.”
He chuckled as he watched you, flipping a page. “This has never been done before, so expect some backlash. I’m sure once they see the bond you have with Aeracus though, they’ll change their minds.”
You couldn’t believe it. Your father, the most skeptical dragon purist the world had ever seen, was acknowledging your bond.
“But...what about Minho?”
“Aeracus is no longer his dragon, Y/n. He has a new one.” Of course, you’d noticed. The huge black dragons he and his father had been riding. You felt a sensation of unease drift through you as you thought about the creatures, the likes of which you’d never seen before. 
New lover, new dragon. He’d really left this place behind.
“Something’s off about those dragons.” He voiced the exact same concern you had. “They’re up to something. I just don’t know what.” He turned back to his book, taking his quill back up. “I’ll find out, though. Somehow. Now, go to sleep, kid. You have a big day tomorrow, now that you’re actually participating.”
You nodded, excitement coursing through your veins. “Sure, dad. Have a good night.” You bowed and turned around, your steps a lot lighter as you headed to your room, which was close by.
Reaching your room, you pushed open the door, smiling as you noticed Sylvia fast asleep at your dressing table. Moving slightly closer, you gently nudged her awake.
“Wha- I-” She shot up, mouth open as she bowed to you. “I’m so sorry, ma’am, I was just arranging and-I’ll help you out of your dress, now-”
“Sh, it’s okay. Tonight’s been tiring. You deserve the rest.” You said sadly, patting her shoulder as a yawn left your mouth. “Go to sleep, and don’t come by tomorrow. I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself. I want you to relax, okay? Head to the docks, or buy yourself some bread in the square.” You opened a tiny drawer and handed a few coins to her, enough to get some sweetbread from the bakery.
She nodded thankfully. “You’re the best, ma’am.” She giggled, accepting the coins from you. 
“What have I told you about calling me ma’am? We’re the same age, Sylvia, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s Y/n to you.”
“Fine. Y/n.” She smiles, heading to the door. “Good night, Y/n.”
You grinned widely at that. You loved how easygoing she was, unlike Ann, your head maid. You weren’t royalty, and hated being treated as such. A friend was all you needed, to be honest. And Sylvia managed to fill the best friend sized hole Minho had left behind, somewhat. 
She closed the door behind her, and you sighed, flopping down onto your soft bed and beginning to slip off your heels and the heavy dress, carefully placing it on a rack. The moon shone extra bright today, and you noticed the streets outside were still lit up with lanterns. Soon, they’d be turned off, and the streets would be quiet once more, except for a few drunken stragglers that didn’t want to stop celebrating.
And you would be left alone with your thoughts.
You slid yourself underneath your covers, sighing as you stared at the moon. In the distance, you could see a few dragons and their riders, flying through the air. They were quite far away, possibly near the outskirts. 
Tomorrow, you’d be able to ride Aeracus like that, after so many years. Every time Minho had let you climb atop his dragon, it had just felt like it was meant to be. Deep down, you felt bad, though...for Caeli, for Minho. However, it was just the plain truth.
You smiled as you decided to buy Aeracus a bunch of treats tomorrow. Ostrich eggs, phoenix meat- you were planning to go all out. He deserved it, after all.
In a way, tonight had possibly been the worst night of your life, and simultaneously the best. Your heart felt pulled in two, as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to sleep.
You had a big day tomorrow.
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andallthatmerrymishigas · 3 years ago
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pls may i ask two for the fanfic ask? bc i am still stuck on them ♡♡♡
walking the wire & a new genesis ♡♡♡
(you have no idea how much your writing helps me through things and i feel weird leaving a comment every time but maybe i should start so you know)
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Oh my goodness bless you. I love these questions, and I love those stories so so so so much. And you can comment 10000 times and I'll love it 10000+ times. Because I genuinely do go back and reread reviews all the time. It makes me so happy!
Anyway onto this. Walking the Wire and A New Genesis for each question:
2. What scene did you first put down?
WtW: I had the first scene written for a long time before I actually wrote anything more or even thought of any plot beyond that one moment. The idea of Lucien asking Jean out on a date and being all nervous about it and adorable. I had that saved in my notes and then the more I listened to the Imagine Dragons song (of the same name as the story), it sort of came together in my head.
ANG: First chapter. I had the plot and concept in my mind for a while and then sat down and just wrote that first chapter in one go while at my parents' house for some reason. In case it wasn't obvious, I am the kind of writer who starts at the beginning and goes from there. I can't skip around. I'm way too Type A for it lol.
4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
WtW:
Lucien continued, "And now, being here together, I can't help thinking that us being together, hopefully marrying one day soon…I know it won't be an easy road, Jean. For you much moreso than for me. But I just hope that if we can cling to each other, we can stay up here always. Holding each other and walk the wire together. There's no limit to how high we can go. And if anyone else has a problem with it, well…"
"Look out down below," she interjected softly.
ANG:
Lucien paused right in front of the altar table, placed his hands down flat on it, and leaned forward. Jean could not see is face, but from the tone of his voice she could hear him sneer, "What did I ever do to You? How did I offend You so brutally that You subject me to this? I was arrogant, I was oblivious, sometimes uncaring. I know that. I won't deny it. I've lived a far from perfect life. But wasn't the camp punishment enough? Wasn't losing my family in front of my eyes enough penance for my sins?" He pushed off the table and started shouting. "I have served you faithfully! I have led your flocks! Why have You tempted me with love and happiness that You have forbidden me to possess? Is it a test? Well, surely I've failed. Surely I would fail any test because of her."
11. What do you like best about this fic?
WtW: The first half, I think, is really good. It falters a bit towards the end. But I love the exploration I got to do with Jean's judgmental attitude towards Lucien and divorce and her lust and herself and how she overcomes all of that. I think that struggle is the thing I like best. I've got to reread this one soon.
ANG: This story combines one of my favorite things which is sexualizing and blaspheming the Catholic Church. Protestants? Nothing sexy there. Catholics? That's my shit. And I just get such a thrill over blasphemy tbh. Nice Jewish girl vibes, thank you very much. (The scene where Lucien fucks Jean on the altar in the church is what I was entirely building up for the whole entire story and I'm super proud of it.)
13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
WtW: So I was making playlists for each of my major stories for a little while, but I didn't start doing that until after I'd finished each of these two stories, BUT this story is 100% inspired by THIS SONG which I was just captivated by and needed to write something for it.
ANG: This was tough for me to answer. I don't think I have a specific song or artist or vibe for this one. I looked through my other story playlists for some Blake fics (Forever in Your Arms, Ivy) and the closest I could really think of to apply to this story was THIS SONG which is less blasphemy, my favorite theme of the story, and more the sort of obsessive sacrifice that Lucien goes through so I suppose it works.
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