#i think i'm going to can some corn relish today... never made it before but let's see how it turns out

[girls-and-honey]

can’t speak for everyone but it seems like the midwest us is having a banging year for small farms. feast or famine as they say and so far this season is an absolute feast

[stanbillyhargrove]

Ghosts chp 16

Billy x Katrina

A/N: this is a multi chapter series that will contain smut, angst, fluff, substance abuse BLOOD, BODY HARM, ABUSE

Billy's POV

"Neil?"

Her mouth twitched into a smirk, "very good."

"I swear, if you hurt her," I growled.

Neil tsked at me, "relax. It's corn syrup, like in the movies...well, most of it."

One of her arms lifted, just enough to show a shallow cut on the inside of her bicep that had already scabbed over.

"Had to check my control."

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why her?"

"I could have picked anyone really, she wasn't the only one I followed...but, you really want to know why I picked her?"

My jaw worked but no sound came out, I was frozen.

She spun the knife in her hand, stopping to point it at me, "because of you and your mother. She was fascinated with this girl, loved her like her own, that's why I started following her. And then she found you and you made it too easy. You're both so weak, it's pathetic really."

"Neil," I ground out, "why?" I could feel my eyes stinging with tears and clenched my jaw to stop it from wavering.

"You always were a weak bastard," Neil sneered, "never stopped fucking crying. Blubbering about like a baby. I tried to make you strong and I see I've failed. You're my biggest mistake."

"I was a child!" I yelled, "I didn't need to be strong!"

"You were weak!" She screamed back, stepping up to get in my face.

She followed me as I backed up, pinning me against the wall to grab my chin and hissed, "you are weak! You're too much like your mother."

"Katrina," I pleaded, "please, you're stronger than this, stronger than him. Come back...please."

Neil let out a cruel laugh, fingers tightening to bruise skin, "you really think that'll work? She can't hear you, she's gone," her hand came up to her chest, groping at her breast, "this body does have perks though. I quite like it."

I looked away, clenching my jaw, "don't."

She smirked and stepped back, "calm down. Your precious Katrina has no idea, can't feel a thing," the knife spun to point at herself, the tip pressing against the side of her stomach, "shall I test her? See how much I can do before she notices?"

"No!" I shouted, lurching forward.

But it was too late. The blade had sunk into her skin. She didn't flinch, even when slowly pulling the knife out, releasing a stream of blood.

"See? We feel nothing."

--

Katrina's POV

A handful of golden blonde hair, holding her close as she rocked against me. A hushed whine, muffled by her mouth against my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. Sent my hips stuttering up as I released inside her. We relaxed into each other, leaning back against the seat of my car. Shared lazy kisses as we caught our breath and sweat cooled on our skin.

"I love you," she whispered against my lips, "don't go."

"I'll be back. Before you even realize I'm gone," I caressed her face gently in my hands, "and when I get back, we'll get married and have lots of babies."

She giggled, "lots?"

"Don't you want lots of children?"

She shook her head, "just two, a boy and a girl."

I kissed her, softly murmuring, "anything for you, my love."

--

"Marry me, Olivia."

She smirked, "what? You mean when you get back?"

I shook my head, "no. I want you as my wife before I leave."

"Neil, you leave tomorrow."

"So we go down to city hall and get married today. We can have the party when I get back, what do you say?"

--

I cradled Olivia's cheek in my hand, using my thumb to gently pull her lip from between her teeth. She looked up at me with those ocean eyes, shimmering with salt water.

"Don't cry," I murmured.

"Will you write me?"

I smiled, "as much as I can."

I pulled her into my chest and pressed my lips to the top of her head. Her hands wrapped around my back, twisting in my shirt to keep me close. I could feel her back shake under my hands when she let out a shuddering breath and sighed, holding her tighter.

"Can I stay?" She whispered.

"Of course, my love," I answered, shifting her under my arm so I could walk her inside.

Olivia curled back into my chest when I leaned against the wall. I held her like that for a while, just relishing in this time with her.

"Hey," I whispered, tilting her head up to look at me, "just be here, now, don't worry about later."

A small smile tugged at her lips before she kissed me.

She let me lead her backwards down the hall, giggling when she stumbled a little only to be caught by my arm. I swung her to the side and pressed her against the wall, trapped her there with my lips. My hand trailed down the swell of her hip, to the thigh that had hitched up around my waist. She jumped and I was holding her up, both her legs wrapped around my waist.

We were lying in my bed, a sheet draped loosely over bare waists. My fingers lazily combed through Olivia's golden curls as she hummed quietly against my chest, her fingers drawing idle designs on my skin.

"Liv," I murmured, "I need up."

She whined in protest when I slid out from under her but quieted when I leaned over to kiss her softly, "I'll be right back."

I came back from the bathroom to see Olivia at the end of my bed, the sheet wrapped tight around her chest. She was running her fingers over my army bag, the carefree happy smile on her face replaced with sadness again. I crawled onto the bed behind her and kissed her shoulder.

"Do you have to go?"

"Yeah, I do," I sighed, "I signed on before I met you. But, all I know is now I want to stay here. Just want to stay here as long as I possibly can. You're all that matters anymore. If I could take it back, unsign my name, I would. You know that, right?"

She nodded and tipped her head against mine, "I put something in your bag, to remember me."

"How could I forget you, my love?" I smiled, wrapping an arm around her, "come on, don't think about it. Let's get some sleep."

--

I no longer saw the sunshine in her golden curls, couldn't find the joy in a chubby cheeked child. I had been chewed up and spit out. Thrust back into this life that I didn't know how to be in anymore. My thoughts were consumed with the faces of fallen brothers and my own bloody hands.

Anything for the mission.

I was sent back a hero after being liberated from the enemy camp. My knowledge of the enemy would lead the troops to victory. But my twisted psyche meant I wasn't fit for duty. I missed the victory because I had learned to enjoy my mission. Enjoy the pain I inflicted on others, the feeling of warm blood rushing over my fingers, the sting of another scar decorating my ribs.

No matter where I went, I was reminded of it. Men clapped my shoulder to congratulate the famous Butcher. Women fawned over the rumors they spread. It started making me feel caged and angry. Angry at the world for not leaving me alone. Angry at my wife, for pestering me, pushing me and angry at that little bastard that just never stopped. He was so god damn noisy all the time, crying and babbling. Attached to his mother like a pathetic extra limb.

Currently, he was sitting in a heap on the kitchen floor, tears streaming down his face.

"God, would you shut him up!" I yelled from the table.

Olivia whipped around from the counter, "he is a child, Neil! Your child! You could try spending time with him."

The chair I was in toppled to the ground when I stood up and I was across the kitchen in an instant, holding Olivia's chin tightly in my hand.

"Do not," I growled, "disrespect me like that again. Shut him up. Now."

Her eyes turned down away from me, "I'm sorry...I'll take him outside."

--

I stepped up behind Olivia, wrapping my arms around her waist and setting my chin on her shoulder.

"Let's go out tonight," I murmured, "just us."

I could see the bruise on her chin tremble.

"Neil," she whimpered.

"I didn't mean to, Olivia. I just lost my temper, you know how I get. It won't happen again, just, go to dinner with me."

--

"Neil!"

Olivia lunged forward, putting herself between me and our son. I stood up fast, swinging my arm out.

Two cracks, in quick succession before she thudded to the floor.

One when my hand hit Olivia's jaw, sending her falling down. The other when her head hit the edge of the countertop. Then she was on the ground, blood pooling on the tile.

--

I could feel myself coming back to my body, slowly waking up. I couldn't move myself but I was starting to become aware. I could hear his voice in my head.

"Good morning, pet."

"You're...Billy's dad?"

"Ah, yes, I could feel you rooting around my memories."

"Why are you doing this?"

I started to slip back into darkness as I heard, "We all go a little mad sometimes."

--

I groaned, finally coming back to my body. All I could feel was pain, hot and sharp as it radiated throughout my body. The back of my head, my stomach, everywhere was overwhelming pain. I tried to take a deep breath only for it to catch with a gasp.

"Katrina? Is that you?"

I struggled to open my eyes to see Billy hovering over me and realized my head was in his lap.

"Billy? What...?" I tried to move again but cried out instead when the tensing of muscles caused a spark of white hot pain.

"Billy, keep her still!"

"S-Steve?" I looked down to see him kneeling beside me.

It took me a moment to realize that the triplets were here too, all crowded around with worried looks on their faces. To really see that Steve's hands were covered in blood as they pressed into my stomach.

"How long until the ambulance gets here?"

Riley's hands were shaking as she tried to hold the phone to her ear, "fifteen minutes."

"Fuck, I need towels. As many as you can find. Hurry!"

The three of them scrambled to their feet and ran off, leaving me with the boys.

"Billy," I murmured, "I'm sorry...your...your dad. It's...him."

"Hey, it's okay," he soothed, "it's okay, we know."

I could feel things starting to get hazy and looked up at Billy with watery eyes.

"How...bad?"

"It's pretty bad but you're gonna be okay. You hear me? Steve's gonna make sure you're okay."

My breath hitched, starting to come quick and shallow.

I choked on tears, "Billy, I...I don't want to die...I don't want to die here."

His jaw clenched, "you're not going to. You listen to me, I'm not going to let you. Just stay awake, keep talking to me, okay?"

@alias-b @charmed-asylum @champagnesugamama