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#i think i'll try to do this bc ...honestly i cant vent freely anymore
g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#i think i'll try to do this bc ...honestly i cant vent freely anymore#for many reasons#i just am too emotionally weak and vulnerable to deal with a small handful albeit ppl who are mean to me#im too sensitive and fragile for it i cant do it#so even if i've tried this several times .. a separate vent blog.. i will try again#for my own peace of mind <3#plus.. venting has actually caused me so many issues w ppl and connection i've had ://#both on twitter and tumblr#and now part of why it got fucked up with him.. the loml.. was bc he got the wrong side of me#from all my miserable vent posts#i kept posting abt how 'nobody cares abt me' and then he felt like he didnt matter to me#bc i literally kept saying such things :(((#and tbh me venting publically is not worth it at all#it wasnt the only reason but part of it was that i said too much of that constantly#and bc of everything going on w him he just believed i didnt care abt him#fuckkkkk that makes me so sad and regretful but its done#i do kinda hate myself for that tho...#i need to learn how to not feel the need to constantly 'vent'#and learn how to just be ok w having these passing thought and feelings#and only vent when i really need to not every second#losing him... wasnt worth any of it#but ig just starting to not put it on my actual blog and keep it separate is a start#im weird abt what i do and such so it might seem like im overthinking#but i just need to be clear w myself and compartamentalize#and it helpd to tell myself that ill do this and then try to do it#instead of just thinking it#anyway idk#even if its too late with him i dont wanna risk more rude things said to me i just cant take it#and venting causes problems kinda always anyway#so learning to do it less and less is good
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