#i think he only finally relaxes once they all hammer out the im not gonna fucking murder you shit & it's the three of them so he knows

[intertexts]

OKAY NHW THOUGHTS. SUFFER WITH ME !!!!

having a lot of thoughts and feelings as always about how virion sees himself as the one who has to be strong, who has to be the one to protect the other two . dakota may have had his powers for longer, but virion has more field experience. he's been trained how to fight his whole life. his family prepared him for this since the day he could stand on his own two feet. it's so deeply ingrained into him, he knows the ins and outs of cape politics, and while he may be an outsider in new haven he had plenty of experience in fauna and how much different can the two cities really be? I feel like he's faaaar less trustful of the heroes, can kind of see through their bullshit when it happens, but he doesn't make a move because now he has a team, now he has people he loves again, and he would do anything to keep them safe even if that means putting up with bureaucratic nonsense. he's got that vigilante blood in him!!! idk how long he was on his own but even if it was as short as a few months that's still PLENTY of time to pick up terrible habits in the name of keeping on his toes, keeping himself safe. gotta keep moving constantly. can't sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and the sleep he does get is VERY light. only ever wearing dark clothes and covering his face even out of costume. constantly keeping at least one concealed weapon on him. being SO hyperaware of any sound or sudden movement in the general vicinity. when hes with the other two he always places himself in the middle between them so he can easily grab both of them if he needs to. maybe walking a half step behind them to watch their backs. always situates himself with clear view of any doors/windows whenever theyre in an enclosed space. etc etc you see my vision!!!!!

im just thinking abt like... the first time william and dakota see him Without All That Tension. he probably looks like a totally different person! the whole time they've known him he's been this stoic quiet intimidating presence, he always stays awake longer than either of them so they've never seen him sleep. after one too many all-nighter volunteer patrols he passes on pizza for dinner and gets home before either of them. when they walk in later (leftover pizza for him ofc) and see him passed out fast asleep on the couch it almost takes them a second to recognize him . who is this.. soft faced *boy* curled up in a loose ball facing the door in their living room!! what if this is where williams crush really kicks in and becomes Real- he desperately wants to be able to make virion comfortable enough around him to make him look like that again. william is just frozen in the doorway staring at him, studying him, trying to commit the whole scene to memory, so dakota is the one who steps forward to put a blanket over him. virion wakes up IMMEDIATELY at this and the moment is kind of broken and he thanks them for the pizza and everything's back to normal but now they KNOW. do you SEE my vision here.

I hope ur malaise is a little better sorry this took me like an hour and a half to type i had 2 keep pausing bc I was getting emotional thinking about them auaghaguyghh

ohh having so many emotions about him.... yeah..... yeah..... the cape world is all he's ever known! of course he's more experienced, cynical, knows the procedures and conventions and lies better than they do. he's maybe the only one of them who's killed before. i think it fucks him UP to realize he loves william & dakota. how can he trust them? he does, he can't choose not to, but i think he's very scared for a very long time that they're going to betray him like his father betrayed his friends. "they sound like they really mean it" yeah well. so did his dad!! honestly i think it's a kind of let it happen situation. he thinks about it for a while and goes well. it's not like i have anything else. this, right now, is nice, so if i end up dead in my sleep about it? whatever. i like them. they're allowed. he's constantly waiting in the back of his mind for the cold gun to the back of his head while theyre hugging or a knife to his throat on the couch during a movie or for them to detour into a dark alley while they're walking somewhere. and it takes a very long time for him to lose this mindset. it would fuck the other two UP if they knew but he's very good at hiding it, both the fear & the decision to just let them do it, if they want to. virion sol willing vulnerability looks like anyone else's efficient dangerous capability and hypervigilance. (i think they Should find out that their best friend is always waiting for them to kill him. that would be a lot.)

anyway. distracted!! in my mind he was a rogue for at least, like, around a year. so much time for bad habits to sink in! the thing ive been thinking about is like, he never really had to be subtle? he's so good at disappearing into nowhere & being a sneaky ass creep on the job, he's alright at lying and social engineering if there was a situation where it was necessary, but he never like... had a civilian life! to him it was fine if he was mostly perceived as a thug or a contractor or just as suspicious as "deftly moving masked figure in black checking all the entrances to the coffee shop as he sits down or buying zip ties and gorilla tape and kerosene at lowes" implies. so like i think their manager or boss or handler has to go "hey dude you need to like. Not be walking exactly a step behind your friends checking your surroundings wherever u go. please stop moving like you're getting ready for a fight. it directs so much attention to u u are in high school ur supposed to be a kid ur setting off so many red flags!"& he doesn't really get it. and it's a thing.

ill over everything ur saying here btw!!!! actually fucked up over them seeing him without all those walls and facades & constant tension!! oh christ!! he's so intimidating even when he's not trying and knows so much and is so good at what they do-- he's. actually their age? he's really just some teenager like them? the crackling anxiety and hypervigilance aren't, just, like, part of him? all the tense lines and angles of him soften into just-- something normal and loose and comfortable?? that fic when???

[energyanon]

Henry Reading Part II

As always, I wrote this in real time, and edited punctuation after. I’ve italicised all of the “placements” names so hopefully it makes more sense for you guys to know what placement i’m talking about. Also keep in mind everytime i move to a next placement its because the energy has said all it needs to with the last person. And also note everytime that anything in the field moves, I have to check in with everything else cause movement means change in the dynamic, and so it’s always good to check in to see what the placements think about that. Guys... it’s a long one but... Im cautiously hopeful at the moment omg. 

Placing HC, body, image/status and fans.

HC, body and I/S are standing beside each other in a line. Body was close to HC, then I/S wanted to be on top of him, for energetic reasons I put image next to him instead, wedged between him and body.

Immediately HC just wanted to sit down and relax but felt claustrophobic with everything so close to him. A little anxious, very hot, and off kilter. He wanted to move away from the other two, so I moved him. He’s now in the furthest part of the field, but he is SMOKING hot like I’m BOILING.

Image/status also is feeling a bit off kilter, it keeps swaying one way to the next but heavily leaning towards Body now. Like as if it’s entire gravity is based off of “body”s orbit.

When Image/Status looks at Henry it doesn’t even seem to recognise him. Kind of like a “what are you doing here” and it’s heavily leaning towards body, it has no regard for HC as a human whatsoever.

Body is also a little off kilter but feels like it can’t move or feel anything, and it’s only swaying to each side slightly. There’s a lot of pressure in the throat/lungs. But otherwise body is numb. It doesn’t feel like a living organism it feels like a statue.

Body will not look anywhere besides in front of it and down.

You know what it feels like, it feels like Body is standing in those lines in the military where a captain is walking down and assessing every person there and you have to stand still and silent and wait for this person to assess you and then leave. It’s a very obedient feeling like “I have to stay here and do what I’m told”

It doesn’t feel like it has any freedom whatsoever.

So I’m gonna add Body IMAGE, instead of just Body and see how they interact.

Oh I just remembered I have placed fans but literally none of them are paying any attention to it. So we move on.

Body image is directly in front of Henry. If it could be apart of him it would, but it’s standing in front of him, noses touching.

It feels like a mother (yikes)

It’s telling him he’s not good enough

Hands on hips, it’s very stern.

100% a mother energy. Not a MOTHERLY energy it feels like a stocky woman shorter, has authority over him and he respects it.

I know that sounds like DG, but this is just the “energy” I’m feeling so it could be actual mother or another woman in his life that has this kind of energy. It could also be that females are a heavy influence on his life.

Body Image is Disappointed “you can do better”. it’s looking him straight in the eyes. It’s not happy with him at all, it doesn’t seem to have any compassion for him, it almost feels disgusted, like it shouldn’t have to be wasting it’s time but it is. It also feels like a bit of a bully like if he wants to move it moves with him going “where are you going huh. You stay right here you can’t walk away from me”

Henry

Surprisingly, he isn’t crippled by body image being there it’s more like it’s a nuisance.

Body Image to him feels very military once again, “this is my superior, I have to listen I have to do what it wants, but I’m tired of listening to it. But I’m just gonna stand here and shut up and be as invisible as possible until it does.” Feels very “sir yes sir” to him.

He feels very stuck here but he WANTS to move (that’s great news) he just feels like he can’t while body image is in the way and he’s not gonna try until it’s gone.

When he looks at BODY he’s looking at it forlorn. Like he wants to be United with body, but body is listening to whatever it’s being commanded by and so is he, so neither of them can move.

I got him to look at fans cause I wasn’t feeling anything for them. When he looks at fans he gets instant anxiety but also doesn’t believe he has the time to deal with that right now and he just wants to look over at Body. Anxiety leaves as soon as he stops looking at fans.

There’s a sadness when he looks at Body, almost like he misses a lover. He wants it back. He wants to hug it and tell it that it’s ok, he wants to comfort it. He feels like Body is in a worse place than he is. He thinks Body is struggling. When he looks at status/image he actually has 0 concern he’s just worried about Body.

I moved to fans. Fans feels nothing for the field. Makes sense cause it seems like no one is paying attention to it. I’m taking that to mean that fans doesn’t need to be here. It’s not the issue being dealt with. I’m taking fans out.

Taking note that HC doesn’t seem as unbelievably depressed as he was in the last one but we also have a different set up. But still interesting.

Body:

Body still an absolute statue will not look anywhere but ahead

Status/Image The only movement status wants is to be CLOSER to Body so that they are almost one. I’ve got status/image behind Body, but hugging it from behind. Not in a loving way but it feels connected it feels like that’s where it’s meant to be

Body:

Body immediately feels hot with S/I there behind it. It’s falling back a little but eyes still ahead. Still a statue. Feels… almost comfort with S/I there but it’s not comfort it’s like.. it feels… more stable.. like body doesn’t WANT it there but it’s not going to move and if S/I moved it would almost feel like a loss. It wouldn’t know what to do with itself.

Henry

Now that S/I has moved behind body and is hugging it, HC is panicked, still not moving, still blocked by body image but he’s looking at S/I now, S/I has his full attention.

His first thought was “no please don’t move there” and now he’s just staring at S/I knowing he can do nothing

Ok INTERESTING. He felt the need to draw his attention back to Body and get its attention by YELLING (almost like there’s a chasm between them but they’re actually really close in this constellation) he’s yelling “know your worth” and just that over and over again.

(Which frankly, I’m impressed by).

But Body isn’t listening to him so he just keeps yelling almost desperately? Body image is trying to get his attention but he won’t give it to it.

Body image:

Is annoyed, wants to grab his face and get HC’s eyes back on it. “I own you.”

It’s doing everything it can to get HC to pay attention when his eyes aren’t on it it wants to get abusive.

Like real abusive. Beating him to the ground.

I’ve followed the movement, and HC is on the ground.

It’s crouched over HC now and it’s just belittling him, it’s hammering into him. “Disgusting Pig”. “No one will ever love you what worth do you have.” It’s just laying it on him it’s not kind in anyway, it’s so horrible.

Henry:

Ok this is interesting cause I go back to Henry and I assumed he would be absolutely hurt by this but he’s not.

The feeling is that of an abused kid whose just had enough but can’t leave their parents just yet. like it hurts him emotionally but it’s more of a wince, he’s used to it, and he’s numb to the rest of it. He’s saying to Body image “let me go. Please.” “Please leave me alone you’ve made your point”

There again is almost that feeling of crying but it’s just the base of the emotion it’s not enough to get watery eyes.

Oh. That would make sense.

The good news is that HC doesn’t feel absolutely crippled by this.. he just feels like he’s stuck in an abusive relationship and he knows that he’s stronger than it, and whenever it says he’s disgusting he knows that he’s not. He keeps reiterating that to himself and saying that to body image, but it’s conflicting because he’s also too tired to get up and leave and fully believe it. It’s like eventually the abuse from Body Image wears him down and he knows even if he gets up and fights back it’s just gonna be there the next day wearing him down again.

Ah.

That energy has passed now, he’s sitting back up. He’s still blocked by Body image which is now sitting in front of him, still so close its touching. But Henry is breathing heavy as if he was just in a fight. And this feeling is similar to the last reading, the absolute hopelessness not knowing what to do, deep sighs feeling lost. Disassociating. Just.. over it.

Body:

Ok now body is looking at Henry and it feels so sad over what just transpired and it wants to comfort him but it doesn’t want to piss off body image.

It’s now looking forlorn at HC. And Body finally wants to move away from status/image.

I moved it to where it wanted to be - the edge of the field. And it’s turned around facing status/image and it’s defiant. “You don’t own me”

Body isn’t angry, it’s just defiant and protective. If S/I takes one more step body will bark at it like a ferocious dog. That’s the feeling.

Body is staring S/I down.

Status/Image

S/I didn’t feel anything about Body doing that it just went “ok. I’ll move myself somewhere else then” with a bitchy little smirk.

And placed itself in front of Body image and in between it and HC.

And now status is sitting too. All three of them. Sitting.

Status/image feels like it’s good friends with Body Image.

Henry: With that move, Henry now feels like he’s behind a wall.

A giant Ass brick wall and he can’t see anything beyond it.

Another deep sigh. He’s sick of it.

He’s so tired.

Body Image: Body image feels like S/I is almost like a daughter to it. It’s much younger but it likes status/image there.. in a really mean way, like it keeps looking at HC like 😏 see? How are you going to escape us. And wants to pat S/I’s head.

Body:

Body can’t seem to notice anything around it it’s almost like everything has vanished now because the other three are behind a brick wall and that wall is absolutely invisible to body. Body is just looking around like “well fuck.”

It feels like it has nothing to do now.

(Controversial……. I’m going to place HC’s younger self..)

Younger Self HC

HC’s younger self has placed himself in front of body but further away, he’s shaking and anxious looking at Body. Body feels like it is looming and intimidating but little HC still wants to be friends but not sure how. He’s holding himself like a shy little boy. Head is kind of ducked. And he can’t quite look at Body in the eye. Body needs to make the first move

Body: Body very hesitantly made the first move and knelt in front of little HC. It was kind to him but in a pitying kind of way. It said “hello little one”

And just knelt there. Little HC gave body a hug, and body couldn’t reciprocate its the feeling of when an adult has something devastating and sad to tell the child but hasn’t told him just yet.

Little Henry

Hesitantly hugging Body. Very awkward it’s taking a while to get used to being this close to body.

But when he does get used to it, body feels very warm, very motherly. It feels like a motherly hug.

Still even then the crying feeling is BASE level, not getting watery eyes or anything.

(I need to find where the basis of where this lack of crying is or it’s going to drive me insane.)

I’m leaving it there, as HC has accepted where he is atm, even if it’s behind a wall, he has the same feelings as he did in the last reading, I can’t get those to go away without a constellation, but I felt like there was movement with young HC and body bonding and having a little cuddle.

That’s some healing movement right there 

OOO actually let me check how HC feels about young him and body making a nice little movement like that.

Henry:

OH!!!!!?

Ok the brick wall feels like glass now, he can see through it. But he’s got a little smile on his face seeing little him and body having a hug.

He feels like he may be stuck here but at least that happened?

He feels a lot more hopeful and alive than he did the last time I checked on him in this reading.

Awake too.

He doesn’t feel like the two in front of him are even blocking him anymore. Like they are but he feels like he could sneak away..

but he just doesn’t want to just yet he’s too tired he can’t be bothered, but he’s feeling MUCH better now.

He feels hopeful

And that makes him happy.  And that’s finally where I will end it.

Guys OMG. POSITIVE MOVEMENT!!!! WE GOT IT!!  Note: Ok, I didn’t move tiny henry. tiny henry moved HIMSELF. That’s HC’s little inner self making MOVEMENT. I didn’t facilitate that, that was where the energy wanted to go all on it’s own. 

Which is PHENOMENAL AND WONDERFUL NEWS?!?!? Also I have left little HC and Body hugging for the moment cause I feel like that needs to fully integrate.  Small movements but HUGE. 

[kyber-crystal]

united we stand || s.r

summary: in which you, sam, steve, and natasha are forced to go on the run after civil war. unfortunately, being a fugitive with government officials out for his blood doesn’t seem to stop the great captain america from falling even more in love with you.

words: ~2.5k

warnings: slight angst, sam and natasha being matchmakers, fluff 

a/n: OMG IM SORRY THIS ONE WAS SO POORLY WRITTEN ADLFJDSF

It doesn't have to come down to this, Tony. Look what you're doing. You're tearing the Avengers apart."

"You did that when you sided with Cap, Y/N."

"What do we do now?"

"We fight."

"He's my friend."

"So was I."

"He killed our parents, Y/N. And you're still willing to take his side? I thought I could trust you. But I guess I can't even rely on my own judgement anymore to make decisions, can I?"

Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you jumped from rooftop to rooftop, a dull ache forming at the edges of your skull due to all the thoughts rushing around in your brain and narrowly escaping a flurry of over two dozen of General Ross's men.

Guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, making your insides churn. You turned against the last family you had left, and now you were paying the price.

You're one hundred percent sure that Tony hates your guts at this point. Leaving your brother for someone else; what had you become?

"What now?" Sam asked, looking around and sending Redwing out to survey your surroundings for any other agents that could be approaching. "What's our next step?"

"We gotta catch a train. Belfast's no longer safe for us," Steve panted as he slid his shield over his back, trying to catch his breath. "Our safety's already compromised as it is."

"Nat's gonna go get the tickets, I'll buy us some disguises. We're less likely to be recognized because you guys are all suited up with your wings and shield," you explained. "Wait here."

A few minutes later you were all dressed inconspicuously in your new disguises, looking like the other civilians that were walking around. You didn't have enough time to check the sizes of the clothing, so Steve ended up wearing some jeans and a light grey T-shirt that was about a size too small for him, outlining every inch of his toned torso.

You quickly tore your gaze away before anyone noticed you staring. Sam caught this, however, and sent you a little wink. You glared at him in response.

"The next train to Glasgow leaves in nine. We gotta hurry," Natasha said as she handed you your tickets. "Come on."

Luckily you weren't recognized as the ticket holder came around, though you tried to keep your heads down low when she passed by.

"It's a 14 hour ride. You fellas might wanna relax, take a nap or something," she said, reclining her seat back and closing her eyes. "We won't be arriving until early tomorrow morning."

You relaxed in your seat, the tension in your muscles loosening a bit. But Steve saw the distressed look in your eyes and placed a gentle hand on top of yours.

"You alright?"

"Could be better, I mean, it's not like I chose to be a fugitive on the run from the entire world," you joked, but the smirk on your face quickly fell. "No. I'm not."

"It's going to be okay, you know. Things'll work out in the end."

"I sure hope so."

You fell into an awkward silence after that, resting your chin on your hand as you stared out ahead, watching the rolling hills whiz by in a blur, the vibrant green a sharp contrast to the powdery blue sky. Ireland was a beautiful country, really. You wished you could stay longer purely for the sake of admiring all the lovely scenery.

"You know, if you just want to talk about anything, we can do that. 14 hours is a pretty long train ride," he finally spoke up about an hour later. Sam was fast asleep at this point, mouth opened slightly as his head rested on Natasha's shoulder, who was sleeping as well.

"Yeah, it is. But we've had worse days, right?"

"We have," Steve agreed.

So you just talked, about whatever came to your minds. Your childhood, your past before joining the Avengers Initiative where you'd previously served as one of SHIELD's top agents for several years, Steve's life back in the 40's before becoming a super-soldier, how much things changed over the years. About past missions.

Soon enough you felt your eyelids droop heavily from fatigue. He noticed your tiredness and reached out his right arm, gently wrapping it around you and pulling you towards his side, encircling you completely in his warm embrace. Slowly but steadily, your muscles began to release the tension in them and you leaned into his touch.

"Why don't you get some shut-eye. We have plenty of time to talk when we arrive."

"Mhm," you mumbled sleepily. He smiled, brushing a few stray hairs away from your face as you drifted off.

...

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is our final stop. We have arrived at Glasgow Central Station," the conductor's voice announced over the intercom as the train began slowing down. "The weather is currently 59 degrees, and it is 5:27 a.m."

"Wake up, lovebirds," Natasha clapped as you stirred slightly, looking confused as you raised your head from where it rested against Steve's chest. "Time to get going."

You yawned and stood up, stepping off onto the platform into the station, surprisingly busy at the crack of dawn. You really just wanted to curl back up into a ball and sleep. Talking for four hours straight with Steve had knocked you out completely.

After getting new SIM cards, Sam quickly created an account to get you checked into a hotel.

"It's a half hour walk. We should probably limit public transportation as much as we can," he stated as he slid his phone into his jacket pocket. "Managed to snag a 40% off deal including a free night, so we're good for the next few weeks until we get an actual apartment."

"You know," Natasha commented, adjusting her baseball cap and aviators as you made your way outside down the bustling street, "if we weren't currently trying to flee from the government's grasp, I'd say I'd wanna come back here for a vacation. And that's on nice architecture."

"With us?" you raised an eyebrow.

"Why not? You're pretty good company. I wouldn't wanna hang out with anyone else."

"Well, what can I say?" Sam puffed up his chest. "I'm smooth with the ladies."

You simply laughed. "Yeah, sure you are."

Glasgow was a breathtaking city. With sprawling Victorian style buildings and cobblestone roads, brightly labeled bars and restaurants, it appeared as if it was pulled straight from a rustic 19th-century painting.

You checked into your hotel after grabbing some food from the nearby bakery. For a cheap price, your room was surprisingly simple but large: a king bed in one room, a pullout couch, and a small balcony so you could stand outside and take in the view of the city.

Despite having no time zone difference between Ireland and Scotland, you were still extremely jet-lagged, most likely due to the flight you'd taken over to Berlin not long ago. After binge-watching reruns of some sitcom for the rest of the day, you fell asleep, clutching your pillow tightly.

Natasha and Sam had good eyes, and could clearly see something was going on between you and Steve.

The truth was, you wanted something to happen but both of you were too chicken to make a move, thinking being in relationship while on the run was inconvenient and unnecessary.

The first few days passed by relatively quickly. You only really went out to buy groceries, and even then you went two at a time to avoid drawing unwanted attention to yourselves. Once, you treated yourselves to a night out at a nice restaurant, enjoying each others' company. It was a way to forget about your currently unfortunate situation.

...

But then the nightmares began.  

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed after waking up in a cold sweat, heading over to the bathroom. Everyone had already gone to sleep long ago, and you envied people like Sam as he could knock out cold almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Staring at your ghostly reflection in the mirror, you squeezed your eyes shut, releasing tears that cascaded down your flushed cheeks in a hot flood. You ran trembling fingers through your messy hair in an attempt to tame it, taking a brief look at your disheveled appearance. The heavy dark circles underneath your bloodshot eyes that were a result of hardly sleeping over the past week were clear, as well as your sunken cheekbones and deathly pale complexion.

You studied the woman that looked back at you, with the same unnerving and hollowed out gaze that she'd worn for years; a façade she learned to develop so that nobody could see when she felt weak; helpless. 

Ten days. 

Only ten days had passed since you arrived in Scotland, yet it seemed as if you aged ten years during that short amount of time. Small creases in between your brows indicated stress and anxiety from leaving everything you knew behind, for a future you could barely see ahead of. For a life that held an endless amount of consequences if you took one misstep, one wrong move.

Your body felt heavy, weighed down as if you carried the weight of a thousand men upon your aching shoulders. You didn't know what to do; what to think anymore.

You didn't look thirty-two anymore, you looked older. Almost as old as Tony. And there was a 10+ year age gap between you and him.

God, Tony.

You betrayed him. The last living member of your family on earth, and you betrayed him.

Turned your back on him, because you didn't believe in the same ideas. Was it really worth turning your back on your own blood just because of a disagreement?

I thought I could trust you.

I thought I could, too. But I guess things don't always work out as planned, do they?

They don't. I don't even know what I can say to you anymore. Hell, I can't look at you without seeing a traitor. You turned your back on all of us, and that's unforgivable.

The Accords, you know I couldn't sign them. It isn't right. I'm fighting for what I believe in.

No, you're fighting for Steve, not yourself. Always running over to precious Cap even if it costs you your safety, if it costs you everything and everyone you ever loved. Because you think that you can rely on him and him alone, to get through this. You won't get very far by keeping this act up, you know.

News flash; the world doesn't revolve around you, Tony. Just because someone doesn't agree with what you believe, doesn't mean you have to tear their team, their family, apart for it.

You're blaming me?

Maybe I am.

"What are you doing up this late?"

Steve's voice jolted you from your train of thought, and you looked up to see him leaning against the doorframe dressed in sweats and another tight-fitting T-shirt, his blue eyes scanning over you worriedly.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm fine, if that's what you're wondering. I'm just a bit jet-lagged," you muttered, hastily wiping away another stray tear that escaped. He pushed himself off the wall and caught your wrist as you were bringing your hand down, tugging you towards him slightly.

"Tell me what's going on."

"I'm fine!"

"No, you're not. What's wrong, Y/N?"

"I..." your voice faltered. You didn’t even realize you’d started crying until you felt your face grow wet from the salty tears that rolled silently into your cracked lips. "I don't know. Everything's wrong."

"Everything?"

"I made a mistake."

"What do you mean, mistake?"

"I turned my back against Tony. My family. I betrayed my own family, Steve." Your voice cracked. "And now I can't even guarantee that I'll ever see him again."

"You did what you had to do," he said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. You felt your skin burning up under his touch. "You were just trying to do what you felt was right."

"Yeah, by teaming up with the side of the man who killed my parents. I can't imagine what he even thinks of me right now."

A look of hurt briefly passed over Steve's face at the mention of Bucky.

"...But I know their deaths were out of his control, so I don't blame him," you continued. "Still..I hurt him. And now, I have to live with knowing that fact." "Look, I'm sorry."

"What?"

You looked up and met his gaze, feeling his bright blue eyes boring into yours. He didn't seem upset or angry at all; there was an eerie softness and calming feeling about the way he looked at you that made you relax a bit.

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess. I never wanted you to have this kind of life; where you're always living in uncertainty. You deserve better than that."

"It's not your fault at all," you swallowed hard. Talking and breathing grew increasingly difficult with the sob that was building up in the back of your throat, that you tried desperately to conceal for so long, "it's mine. I made that decision to side with you, not only because I couldn't stand the idea of signing the Accords. So it's...it's on me. God, I don't know what to do anymore, I can't—"

A wave of grief suddenly hit you from all sides, causing you to keel over, sliding down against the cold wall with a hand clutching your stomach as an agonized scream tear itself through your body and out of your throat. And you were drowning; suffocated by your own tears as you struggled to breathe. You tried desperately to stop them but nothing could seem to hold back the heavy sobs that wracked your body, clawing at your lungs and heart. 

Steve crouched down in front of you and pulled you against him, arms tightening around your body with each cry that escaped your lips. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to take all your sadness and frustration and grief and put it upon himself, to carry the weight on his shoulders so he wouldn't have to watch you endure the pain. He'd much rather have to suffer himself than watch you try and bear the burden and fall to pieces in the process.

Seeing you breaking down before him with your gut-wrenching cries that echoed across the small space, more vulnerable than you'd ever been in front of him before, made it feel as if someone was directly ripping his heart right out of his chest and tearing it into a thousand pieces with their bare hands. 

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered soothingly as he pressed his lips to the side of your temple, "it's okay. I've got you. You're gonna be okay."

Despite how you felt as if your heart was twisting itself into knots, there was something comforting about the way he held you ever so gently in his arms, the way his warm breath fell against his neck as one arm was firmly hooked around your waist, running his free hand through your hair.

So for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that there was no one else in the world except for just you and him, holding you close, and that everything was fine, even if the feeling only lasted for a second.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 16

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: youre gonna love me. then youre gonna hate me. or at least that what i think :X          WARNING: DRUG ABUSE +SMUT

also, if you like this story you may want to read the few blurbs i wrote about it. ill probably write more but here are the few already written

Niall & Liv (fetus) - FLUFF

Louis & Liv - FLUFF

Niall & Liv - SMUT & FLUFF

Liv & Heidi - ANGST

if you read, THANK YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : you guys wanted fluff and smut and i think i got it right lol SPOILERS”

Chapter 16 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

The words Heidi had thrown at me were resonating in my head over and over again, hitting my brain like a hammer as a headache was forming itself. I looked around the room at all my friends smoking, still unsure if I should actually do it. Sometimes it was fun and other times, it ended up ruining my nights and with the feelings invading my insides at that moment, I was still in a dilemma. My eyes met Niall's and I realized he was looking at me and him too was a dilemma for me. I was not as tipsy as I was at the club and I could see him clearly. He was sitting on an other couch and I was not sure why he didn't sit next to me but I pushed that thought away and pressed my lips together.

I wanted him so bad that just the thought of his hands on me made me hold my breath and made my whole body tense. I knew it could seem like a common feeling. I was not the first person to feel lust for someone and clearly not the last one, but was it normal to lust someone so intensely even if you already knew what he felt like? Even if you already knew what he tasted like? What he smelled like? Was it normal to need someone so bad even if you had him before, and not just once, but a hundred of times? I could understand the need for new things, the craving for something you want to experiment... but wanting someone you've had multiple times before was a new thing, at least for me.

The fact that he wanted me too was a bit ridiculous though. I had enough self-confidence to accept it but now that Heidi had thrown at me some rude shit, my trust was starting to falter. She was not wrong, though. Dylan and Niall were both out of my league, but a body was just that, a body, right? It's not all that mattered and I tried to remind myself that even if Heidi was considered 'beautiful' by society's standards didn't mean she had the personality that went with in. In fact, in that domain, she was not even a two and apparently, I was not the only one who thought that.

I got off the couch and walked slowly to the bathroom, trying not to draw attention to me, and I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I was chubby now, I knew, and my teeth were crooked. Was something wrong with my forehead? I turned my face on the side and grimaced before passing my hand in my hair. I used to be average but now, Heidi was right, I was just below that, and it was hurtful to realize. I closed my eyes tight and groaned low until I heard a noise and felt my heart jump in my chest. I turned around and noticed Niall, leaning against the door frame, staring at me.

"You're not focusing on Heidi's shitty rant, are you?"

I sent him a small smile and glanced down despite myself, realizing I had answered his question without even talking. The thought in itself was pathetic and I couldn't believe that once again, I was in the bathroom and that Niall had randomly joined me. Should we bring chairs for next time? A couch, perhaps?

"I'm okay, Niall."

"You remember who you're talking to?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'm your best friend. I know you by heart. You're not okay, I know you're not. Talk to me."

I didn't know if it was the alcohol still doing something to me or just the tone of his voice reaching something inside me but I shut my eyes tight and let out a sob I was desperately trying to keep inside. I brought my hand to my mouth and in half a second, Niall was close to me, wrapping one of his arms around me and pulling me closer. He smelled amazing and I let my cheek brush on the soft fabric of his shirt, moving my arms around his chest and holding him tight against me.

"She said that because she knows how self-conscious you can be. Don't let her win, okay?" he whispered, rocking us slightly before kissing the top of my head. "Olivia, look at me."

I pulled away slightly and looked up at him through my eyelashes. He grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger and moved it up to stare in my eyes.

"You are beautiful. You are the most beautiful girl in the world." he added, making my lips part. "I'm not the only one who thinks that. And you should think that, too."

Slowly. he turned me around and made me face the mirror. It brought a memory to my brain and I felt like I was back then, before we started dating, when he had brought me in front of the mirror at his place and had told me I was beautiful. Unfortunately, a few hours after that, he was having sex with Heidi in a bar. Could I really trust him? I looked up in his eyes from his reflection and he stared back, letting his hands slide down very slowly on my upper arms. I could trust him, right? Why would he lie about that?

"You're gorgeous." his voice was so low the only reason I heard him was because he had bent down and his lips were brushing on my ear. They moved down, reaching my neck as he brushed them on my skin, making a quiver cross my body. "I fucking love you."

I didn't expect his last words and for some reason, they're the ones that made all the throbbings of my body meet between my legs. I let out a low groan and felt his fingers slide gently to my waist, moving my shirt slightly up as his hands slipped under it.

"Fuck..." I whispered without thinking, feeling goosebumps appear where his fingertips brushed, surprising me as they also left a burning trail on my skin on their way. "Niall..."

"Yes petal?"

He was testing my self-control and if I had been as tipsy as I was at the club, I would let him run his hands all over me but I felt his teeth nibble on my neck and my eyes fluttered. I turned around before his hands reached my bra and sent him a small smile shaking my head.

"We can't..."

"Please, we totally can."

He grabbed my waist and pulled me up on the counter as I jumped a bit to help him and he moved between my legs. It was amazing how that fucking counter was exactly the right height for him to push his crotch between my legs and when I felt his bulge press on my inner thighs, I twitched and moaned.

"You're gonna wet your pants." I let out as he smirked.

"Are you already wet?" he chuckled, bending a bit to bring his mouth close to mine.

"Maybe." I whispered with a bigger smile. " And I don't have any panties, remember?"

"Fuck!" he let out a bit louder before crashing his mouth against mine.

"You guys having fun?"

I chuckled against Niall's lips when I recognized Louis' voice but kept my eyes closed as I pulled away.

"Go away, Lou." I just said with a smile.

"I was just checking on you two but you clearly don't need my help." he chuckled again and I could imagine the smirk he had on his lips.

"We don't! Bye!" Niall quickly let out, reaching for the door and swinging it closed.

I held my breath, a bit scared that Louis would be mad but I heard him laugh on the other side of the door and relaxed again as Niall brought his hands up, cupping my face, his fingers spread on my cheeks, jaw and neck.

"I feel like I would need to just skip the foreplay and fuck you until I cum inside you and only then I could really make love to you or fuck you properly." he admitted, pressing himself more against me. "You make me so fucking horny I don't think I'd last."

He still held my face for a while as we kissed before his hands let go of my cheeks to reach my naked thighs. I felt his fingers slip under my skirt and my lips parted at the thought of what he was doing. He sucked on my bottom lip and then started nibbling on it, making me feel suddenly dizzy. His hands moved up on my thighs, pushing my skirt up more and I started panting as my head tilted back.

"Oh my god."

It took me all my strength to reach for his hands and take them away from me as I moved myself back too. He tried to move with me to keep kissing me but I shook my head and he opened his eyes, staring at me.

"We can't. Fuck, you know we can't."

He stared at me a few seconds and finally nodded and stepped back. It made me realize how empty I felt when he was not close to me and I shivered, suddenly a bit cold. He reached for his pocket and took a joint out before handing it to me. My body was still throbbing with lust but I tried to stop thinking about it and frowned, reaching for it and taking it from his hand.

"Did you steal that from Louis?" I asked, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Gave it to me. Told me it could ease things between us or some shit like that." he laughed, pushing his hands in his pockets.

I knew he was trying to stay away from me the same way I was trying to stay away from him, at least physically. It was not easy and I knew it never would be. If we didn't end up together, which was clearly a possibility, being around each other was going to be an everyday challenge. Maybe we should fuck, if only to make all this sexual tension go away. Perhaps we'd be able to see clearer after... or maybe not.

"But you don't really smoke anymore, do you?"

He shrugged. "Rarely. I prefer alcohol."

"Me too."

I reached for my bra and took a lighter out, making Niall's face light up at the same time as I was lighting up my joint.

"What?"

"You keep a lighter in your bra?" he laughed and shook his head and I felt my heart skip a beat. I loved hearing him laugh. There was nothing I loved more.

"Not my fault this skirt doesn't have pockets!" I explained with a smile. "I don't really smoke either, but it was planned tonight so that's why I brought a lighter with me."

I inhaled and let the smoke invade my lungs before moving my face up to blow it away from him. He took a step closer and raised his eyebrows at me, making me frown.

"Do it." he just said, making me smile more.

"Wait, you want me to shotgun you? Wouldn't you rather get a beer from the fridge instead?"

"Fucking shotgun me, Olivia." he repeated seriously, surprising me before I just nodded.

He got closer and I inhaled from the joint again, making some sort of tunnel with my hands around our mouths and noses. It felt like I was telling him a secret and I exhaled as he breathed in deeply. I stared in his eyes the whole time and when I took my hands back, he cleared his throat.

"You know you have to stay here all night, right?" I just let out after a few minutes as he moved closer to do it an other time but this time, he pressed his open lips against mine as I pushed the smoke in his mouth.

I suspected he just wanted to be closer to me and I didn't mention it because I really enjoyed it, too. He moved away as he held his breath again to keep the smoke in and I tilted my head, not even ashamed that I was gazing.

"Why? It's not like I was driving. I can take a cab."

I raised my nose up in a grimace, making him laugh again. He was getting high and so was I and although I knew we should get back in the living room with everyone else, I just wanted to stay in this small room with him. I knew it was harder to resist if we were just the two of us but I didn't care at that point.

"I'm staying don't worry!" he exclaimed with an other chuckle. "Do you want to know what I've been obsessing about for the past 20 minutes?"

"Mm, please say it has to do with me."

I felt my heart jump at how bold my statement was and he laughed again, this time throwing his head back. His eyes were sparkling and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle him.

"It does." he admitted with a grin. "I've been thinking about your smell." I frowned and he kept going. "Your hair, it smells like a mix of vanilla and honey. I don't know if it's your shampoo, or your perfume, but it's always obsessed me. Since we came back from that tour. No one smells like you. And also..." he glanced at my thighs and looked back in my eyes. "You took your panties off and you're horny. I miss the smell of your wet pussy."

I choked on the smoke I was breathing and started coughing, making him laugh again.

"Shit, are you okay?" he kept laughing. "I'm so sorry!"

"Fucking hell, Horan!" I coughed again, hitting his chest lightly with my free hand. "Why did you say that?"

"Because it's true." he let out, sending me a small smile and raising his eyebrows. "I just want to get on my knees and eat you out."

"That's... not going to happen." I admitted with a smile, making him nod.

"Not tonight, I know."

The fact that he was so sure it would happen at some point made something stir in my stomach but at the same time, I couldn't tell him he was wrong. I was clearly not as sure as he was but thinking that I'd never feel his tongue between my legs again was a concept I couldn't grasp.

"Do you really think I'm pretty."

I had talked in a low and vulnerable voice without really realizing it and Niall's smile fell immediately. He took a step closer and bent down again to look in my eyes without touching me, as if doing that could stop me from focusing on what he was about to tell me.

"You're beautiful. And sexy, too." he let out firmly. "Your self-confidence that you took so long to build can falter because you're human and it's not easy, I get it. But me? My speech won't change. Ever. I'm always going to be there to remind you that you're gorgeous when your confidence isn't as high as it should be. I swear on my life."

I felt myself tear up again and sniffed, my gaze never leaving his. Suddenly, I wondered how the hell I lived over a year without this wonderful man in my life. My heart was threatening to jump out of my rib cage and I pressed my lips together as I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I let them, too concentrated on the way his lips moved and the way his soft voice reached my ears like a fucking melody. It only took him a few seconds to wipe them from my face again and send me a fond smile.

"You're the strongest person I know." he admitted, making me smile but sniff again. "Are you tired?"

I nodded and he helped me get off the counter before grabbing my hand and opening the door slightly and slowly, making sure no one would hear. I held my breath in as if they could actually hear me breathe and followed him in the hall as he walked up to my room. I closed the door behind us very slowly and locked it before pushing the air out of my lungs with a chuckle. I knew it was bad but I just wanted to spend time with Niall and no one else. We had spent so long separated and I wanted to make up for lost time.

Without a word, we both lied down on the bed, facing each other. We were so close that I could only see his face and it's all that mattered. I felt my eyes flutter from time to time but tried to resist slumber. I wanted to look at him all night. He didn't say anything. He just brought his hand to my face, pushing a lock of hair away from my eye before brushing his fingertips on my cheek and jaw. It felt incredible and I squirmed a bit to get closer to him as he wrapped his arm around me.

I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up, we were both laying sideways on the bed, over the covers and cuddling. I never sleep without blankets since I'm always cold but this time, I was surprisingly not and I smiled when I realized it was because Niall's body kept me warm. My eyes opened slowly and my lips curled even more when I saw him. He was sleeping peacefully and I licked my lips before brushing my nose slowly and gently against his. He groaned a bit before squeezing me tighter against him and open his eyes.

"I need a shower, wanna come with?" I smiled at his proposition and shook my head, making him shrug. "Was worth a try."

He sat up and I turned on my back, looking at him again before he glanced at me.

"Can I borrow some of Louis' clothes again?"

"Yea, I'll see if there's some clean ones in the laundry room." I replied as I stretched and laughed. "There's no way I'm walking in his room."

Niall got up and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he took his pants and shirt off.

"You're staring again, aren't you?" he asked, his back facing me.

"Mm, maybe." I confessed as he started laughing again.

It took me longer than I thought to find clean sweatpants and shirt and when I reached the bathroom, I noticed the door was ajar. I pushed on it slightly, feeling a bit like a creep but finally leaning on the frame to listen to him. He was singing a song I didn't know and when he reached a higher note, it made something jump in my chest.

"Feels like every time I turn a corner, you're standing right there, over my shoulder, you're everywhere, I swear it's hard to think, it's hard to breathe when you're in the air, I try to run, but you're everywhere I go! When I think I'm all alone, and my heart's under control! Why is loving you not fair? You're everywheeeere!"

I chuckled but he didn't hear me and it made me realize how much I loved him. I already knew, of course I did, and I had for a long time, but nothing had prepared me for the feelings I had inside of me at that exact moment. Hearing him sing also made me think about that album he had written about me and about how many times I had streamed it since he told me. It was a bit pathetic. I left the clothes on the counter next to the sink and left to get changed into clean clothes too and make coffee. Everyone was still asleep and I was drinking from my favorite mug when Niall appeared. I could get used to seeing him every morning.

"I have something to do today." he just pointed out, opening the cabinet to grab a mug too and fill it with coffee.  "I have to talk to Heidi."

My lips parted and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

"About... what?"

He stopped everything and frowned at me. "About us, what else? It's time I break things with her. This is getting ridiculous and I just-"

"No." I cut him, making him frown even more. "Don't."

He put his cup away and moved closer to me, shaking his head. I couldn't tell if he was mad or confused but when he stood in front of me, I felt myself tear up.

"Niall I'm.. I'm getting married." I just pointed out, not really sure of what I was really going to do anymore.

"What? You're not serious." he let out as I remained motionless, just staring at him. "Are you telling me that everything that happened in the past few weeks don't count?"

No, of course that's not what I meant. It counted. In fact, it counted so much that I couldn't see straight anymore. I didn't have any rational thoughts anymore and my heart was swollen with love for a man who had broken my heart, a man I was not even sure I could trust. What told me that he wouldn't leave again after a few months, when the passion would be gone?

"That's not what I said just... wait before telling her." I repeated. "Please."

His eyes moved on me and I could see how hurt he was and if I wanted to be honest, saying those words probably hurt me as much as it hurt him to hear them.

"Fine." he let out rudely. "I know where the door is."

My heart was telling me to stop him but everything else was telling me to let him go. I felt myself tear up when the front door closed roughly and I swallowed again. I had no idea of what I was supposed to do, all I knew was that I had to do it quick.

                                         ----

"Fuck I missed you!"

Dylan hadn't even stopped at his place when he landed, he just took a cab to my place and walked in without knocking. Seeing his face for the first time in weeks made me smile and he opened his arms as I threw myself in them, feeling suddenly guilty as he engulfed me in a tight hug.

"I begged them for a few days off, they gave me two." he said when he pulled away, bringing his lips against mine and kissing me hard a few times. "Please, come with me."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I was not expecting that proposition and frankly, I was not sure I was interested. Especially after everything that had happened while he was gone. Still, I thought maybe, if I left with him, it could take Niall out of my mind. It was not likely but maybe it was worth trying?

"I can't, you know I have work here." I explained, bringing my arms around his neck and tilting my head.

"You can write even on the other side of the planet, you know."

My lips curled in a fond smile as he sent me an amused look.

"I'll think about it."

He nodded and chuckled, throwing his bag away and making me step back as his smile turned into a smirk. I knew where he was bringing me and somehow, I felt guilty again.

"So, how much did you miss me?"

My smile faltered a bit but I quickly brought it back on my face. Playing a double life was not something I actually enjoyed and when we reached my room, I waited until he closed the door behind us to bring my hand to his cheeks.

"We need to talk."

He frowned and shook his head quickly. "Mmhm, no." he protested with worry in his voice. "It's about Niall, isn't it?"

I felt so nervous I started being nauseous but I quickly nodded as he sighed and closed his eyes, letting go of me and turning around, his back facing me. He brought his hands to his head and waited a few more seconds before turning back to me. I wanted to cry but I felt like I didn't have the right to.

"I don't want to know."

His answer surprised me and I frowned. "No, Dylan, it's important, I need to tell you something." I argued, taking a step closer as he scoffed.

"No! I don't want to know, Olivia!" he repeated louder this time. "I don't want to know if you kissed him! I don't want to know if you fucked him! I'll just assume you did! But we're getting married, so whatever you need to sort out with him, do it, and then, meet me at the altar. Then, it's you and me, okay? Just us."

I was so shocked I actually forgot how to move and talk. He just stared at me and sighed again, rubbing his eyes.

"After that night at his place I just.. You know, I didn't realize just how intense and important that story with him had been. Maybe I didn't want to know." he explained, his tone more gentle. "But I love you, and I want this to work, so... September is not so far."

"Dyl, you can't, for a second, think that this makes any sense."

"I've been thinking non-stop about this. Whenever I had a few minutes of free time, I would think about it. I tried to think of what would hurt me the most, you know? Losing you for a while, or losing you forever."

I teared up again and my face twisted in pain as I brought my hand on my mouth.

"I don't deserve you." I just let out before sobbing.

"Clearly, you don't." he let out, half joking as I noticed he was crying too.

I laughed sadly too and he pulled me closer, taking me so tightly in his arms that I could barely breathe.

"Do you still love me, Olivia?"

I shut my eyes tight and buried my face in his shirt. I was in love with Niall. He was my soulmate, the love of my life... but that didn't alter the feelings I had for Dylan.

"Yes. I still love you."

[ditch-witches]

Beginner's Luck (Dean-Charles Chapman Smut)

requested: yes/no (your requests are everything to us! send us your monkey brain, sad boy hours, thot thoughts, etc. and we’ll try our absolute best to deliver!)

thank you for the request @obsessedwithfandomsx​!

pairing: Dean-Charles Chapman x reader

warnings: smut, fluff, slow burn asf. (im so sorry)

word count: 2,197

a/n: Hello dear readers. Resident Dean stan, Grayce, here! I hope everyone had a safe weekend and I wish everyone luck in this upcoming week! I got super carried away with this for no reason (maybe it’s because it’s my birthday and I’m emo) so I hope y'all enjoy it! Happy reading!

You wrung your hands as your nerves began to build while thinking about the situation in front of you. There was Dean across the room, chatting with some friends and seemingly carefree with the night as his oyster. You watched him laugh at a joke, your mouth curling into a smile at the sight out of instinct. His laugh was contagious, even if you couldn’t hear it.

Tonight was the night. The two of you had declared it the week before and under Dean’s nose, you stressed and planned to no end. It was your first time, not just with him, but ever. He was aware of this, of course, but after finding out that he had been with someone before you, it was clear you had competition. Even if it seemed like he wouldn’t be comparing the two of you, you would be. You bit your lip with a small chuckle, cursing yourself for coming into the metaphorical game so late. You rolled your eyes at yourself, attempting to contribute to the conversation in front of you.

Dean knocked the neck of his bottle against his friends before walking over to you. You jumped slightly as his arm found its way around your waist. He greeted your group before slyly leaning towards your ear. “Ready to get out of here? This is kind of lame…”

You snickered at his comment before parting from the group. He took your hand when you both left the house booming with music, lacing your fingers together. Dean smiled at you in the dark, your breath coming out in translucent clouds to mix with the light snowfall. You almost slipped on an ice patch, causing Dean to pull you closer to him and let out a light-hearted laugh. Sliding into the car beside him, your heart was beating a thousand times quicker than normal. The two of you had left parties together, spent the day together, etc., more times than you could count yet tonight it felt like you were a stranger in your own body.

Dean turned down the radio and moved his hand to rest on your thigh. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in your chest. His thumb rubbed against your jeans in a soothing manner. “Penny for your thoughts?” He asked, quirking a small smile in your direction before turning back to the road. You wet your lips, chewing on your words in an attempt to gather your response. It was a short distance to Dean’s apartment from his friend’s, causing your nerves to jump a bit higher.

“I’m nervous if I’m being completely honest.”

You could tell he was furrowing his brows in concentration, only getting to see glimpses of his reactions as you passed under street lamps. “About what, exactly?” His tone was even and more understanding than anything.

You took the hand that was on your thigh into your own, tucking your arm under his. “I don’t know. I guess I have the jitters about our first time…”

Dean let out a small chuckle. “That’s what you’re worried about?” The two of you made eye contact momentarily. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to if you-”

“No! No, I want to. It’s just… I’ve heard horror stories about people’s first times. I’m worried I’m not going to be good enough and that, I don’t know, it won’t be fun. It’s just my brain working against me.”

He thought for a moment about how to react. “How can I make it better?”

You leaned closer to his side, wishing the console wasn’t between the two of you. “Tell me it’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll make sure it’s okay. If you wanna stop at any point, let me know. We’ll go at your pace. It will be okay. I promise.” Your heart fluttered at his response and he pulled into his driveway.

“All right then. Let’s fuck.” He laughed at your comment, squeezing your hand.

Dean sat beside you on the bed, his hands in his lap as you fought to settled your nerves. You were grateful for his laid back approach to the situation, yet he still made it seem like your worries were valid. He reached a hand out to you, brushing your hair off your shoulder gently. You smirked slightly, still looking forward, your eyes concentrating on his light switch. His hand traveled to rest on your back, rubbing in slight circles before he leaned towards you to place a kiss on your cheek. You turned to him, looking into his soft eyes and relishing in this moment. You decided you didn’t want to go back. You were all in.

You closed the gap between the two of you rather abruptly, pulling him into a kiss and pushing one of your hands into his hair. He pulled you closer as one of his hands moved to settle on the back of your neck. The smell of his cologne invaded your senses, the familiarity of it in a situation like this put you further at ease. You broke away from him to push his jacket off his shoulders and you both moved further on the bed. You found yourself sitting cross-legged in front of Dean, attempting not to make the situation any more awkward than it already was. He smiled at you, pressing his lips against yours again as you tugged at the hem of his shirt. You had seen him shirtless plenty of times, but at this moment, he was different. He was unexplored terrain to you, just as he was treating you like a new piece of art, worried to bend an edge or wrinkle beyond repair.

He helped you remove your shirt as well and you struggled not to cover your chest, but Dean’s soft expression gave you the confidence to be vulnerable to him. His hands rested on your hips as he kissed you with as much passion as he could muster, sighing into each brush of contact he had with you. You broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his as your heart hammered in his chest. You took one of his hands in yours, catching your breath momentarily.

“You are absolutely gorgeous, you know?” He whispered, leaning back from you to send you a small smile.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Stop being weird and grab my boob, Dean.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really excited,” he said with an almost childlike expression. You snorted at his enthusiasm, causing him to laugh. He pressed his lips against yours, smiling behind the action. He couldn’t help himself. You pulled his hand up to settle against your breast, and in a switch, he was back to gentle caresses and taking things one step at a time. One of your hands knotted in his hair as his warm breath brushed against your cheek. You held onto his forearm softly as he slipped his hand between the fabric of your bra and your skin. You moaned against his lips, mentally cursing yourself at the sound, but it seemed to egg Dean on as he deepened your kiss. You leaned back into the pillows, pulling Dean with you as you both buried yourselves in the covers. “Are you still okay?” Dean murmured, tucking one of his arms beneath yours.

“I’m fine. I promise. I’ll scream bloody murder if I’m not,” you lightly joked.

He smiled down at you, brushing his nose against yours slightly. “Okay, deal.” You kissed him lightly before wrapping a leg around one of his, bringing him flush against you. His teeth grazed against your bottom lip before you reached between the two of you, unbuttoning your jeans. He leaned back to watch your actions, his pupils larger and almost animalistic. He withdrew from you, resting back on his knees, helping to drag your jeans down your hips. You sat up to meet him, your hands trailing down his chest towards his zipper as well. His hands played with the ends of your hair, his lips finding your collarbone and placing light kisses while nipping at the skin. You slipped your hand behind the fabric of his boxers and began to palm him, but he caught your wrist in the process. “You don’t have to do that.”

You furrowed your brows at him. “I want to.”

“No, I mean,” he bit back a smile, “I’m ready when you are.”

You attempted to hide the taken aback reaction you registered, your face heating up. “oH.”

He held your face in his hands and you rested yours on his hips now. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush,” he leered and you rolled your eyes, causing him to laugh. He loved it when you did that for some reason. You brought him down with you to lie between your legs. You bit your lip slightly looking at him.

“Go slow, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Are you ready?” You exhaled and nodded rather quickly. The two of you fumbled around in a mess of giggling attempting to get both your underwear and his boxers off without ruining the moment. “I’ll be gentle,” he finally said, angling himself towards you.

“Ew,” you nervously tittered in response. You were on the verge of resorting to humor to cover your anxiety.

“Are you sure?” He asked once again, lifting his eyes to yours and you exhaled again nodding. “It’s okay. Relax,” he hummed softly, his eyes looking to yours for any sign of retreat.

“I’m ready. I trust you.” He pressed his lips to yours before shifting his weight from the hand that was holding him up to the other. “Ow!” You barked. Dean froze in his position, eyes widening as he searched your face. “I’m joking,” you leered, biting back the wicked grin spreading across your face.

His shoulders fell slightly in relief and he fought not to roll his eyes. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack and it’ll be Gerald’s Game all over again.” You couldn’t help but snicker, now feeling more relaxed in his arms. You nodded at him one last time to give him the go-ahead and he pushed himself into you, waiting for you to adjust to him. You groaned slightly, the pressure of him a foreign feeling but surprisingly not as painful as you had been warned it would be. You reached up to bring his lips to yours as he began moving. You began to feel every inch of him in you as his hips ground against yours. His lips left yours to press against your jaw and your ear, one of his hands interlocking with yours, binding the two of you further together in the act.

“I haven’t screamed bloody murder yet,” you said, almost congratulating him, causing him to let out a low chuckle as your eyes found his.

“I love that you’re still a minx even while you’re under me,” he added rather darkly and you laughed.

“You bring out the best in me, D,” you unintentionally moaned. He grinned before sealing your lips together in a sloppy example of his love as he quickened his pace ever so slightly. You had a feeling he was close, so you began to grind into him as well, wanting to find the right position so you could join him. He noticed your attempt, burying himself in your neck, driving himself deeper into you, causing you to let out a small whimper as your hands plunged into his dark curls. His movements brought a feeling of tension within you. Getting to your orgasm was like feeling a distant sneeze creeping up your nose. Dean began to ride you with less of a rhythmic pace. You pulled him back to look at you as he brought you closer to the edge. He somehow looked at you with so much longing in this moment of passion that you fought not to tell him you loved him. With every movement, a feeling of relief began to spread through your body and before you knew it, you fists were tightening in his hair, head falling back in pleasure. You swore you saw him grin before you shut your eyes to ride out the rest of your ecstasy. Breathlessly, he pulled out of you, jerking himself off a few times before finishing as well. The two of you were a panting mess as he lowered himself on the bed beside you.

You laid your head against his chest, the only sound in the room to you being his heartbeat as his hand softly ran up and down your back. He took your hand in his, examining your palm, brushing his thumb against your heartline. “Thank you,” you sighed. It began to sink in that Dean would now be carrying around a piece of you with him for the rest of his life.

“You act like you’re the only one who benefitted from that,” he answered with a short chuckle. The vibration of his accent in his chest was music to your ears.

You scoffed. “Just take my gratitude, dammit.” He laughed again at your response. “Now what do we do?”

“We could take a shower?” He offered.

“I love your mind,” you quipped.

[thousandsunnywrites]

Mister Sun

⤷ ficlet

part 1 |  part 2

Ace x f!reader; romantic

⤷ synopsis: The only way to calm yourself down was by listening to Mister Sun by Barney. Sounds cute right? Don’t be a clown. This is a n g s t.

⤷ word count: 1,6k

⤷ a/n: aHHHHH heres my comeback from my hiatus 😎hope y’all liked it, i was writing when it was 4 AM and i downtripped to lots of sad songs, remembering how good and youthful life was before I became a boring old hag. das all folks, lemme know what u think as always! (((also im trying this new format just for ficlets/og works teehee)))

----

“Oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun,” Ace cooed as his rough fingers gently combed through your hair, “please shine down on me.” You shift on his lap, clearly still startled from the nightmare, but unwinding as he continues his humming while swaying lightly. 

He was so warm against the cold night.

“You feeling better?” His head lulled a bit to the side, his loud yawn permeating the night air. Guilt bloomed in your chest for waking him up in these delicate hours, but you couldn’t help but need comfort. Your late mother always sang Barney’s song to calm you when you were younger, so naturally it was the only way to unravel your nerves, despite it being a child’s song.

“Thanks for doing this, I know it’s not really your style.” You briefly apologized. He waved it off. 

“No biggie, anything for my girl.” He grinned, his toothy smile shining against the moonlit sea. Your giggle follows right after, his smiles always made you feel like everything was gonna be okay. 

“Love you babe,” you dreamily sigh, still high off broken sleep. 

“I know.”

You nestled your head on the meatiest part of his thigh, and fell asleep. When silence pervaded the air, he pulled you tight to him and closed his eyes. The tranquility of the night made you follow suit a bit after.

All things continued well, you went fishing with Ace the next morning, catching a bigger fish than him and bragging about it to Marco. 

“Cheater!” Ace kept chanting as he demanded a rematch. “You just got lucky, lemme show you how it’s really done.” Grumbling, you acquiesced to his ramblings and hooked on bait.

“Ho,ho. You’re going down, lover boy.” You bore your sole into the wood of the deck, readying yourself for battle. 

“Ready!” He counted down, “Set! Go!”

Fishing lines cast into the sea, a brief moment passing by before a fish tugs on your line first. Messily reeling it in, your feet trip over themselves, cursing as the rod slipped through your sweaty grip. Meanwhile, Ace grunted as he fought against his big catch before victoriously reeling it in. As much as you hate admitting it, you lost.

“Yeah!!” Ace rejoiced, admiring his fish, “we’re eating good tonight boys! Fire up the grills!” The resounding cheers of the crew followed after.

Moments like these, seeing everyone, especially Marco, merrily hammered with booze and seeing Ace mingling with the crowd, occasionally falling asleep, yet his smile never fading. It was moments like these that you wished never left because eventually everything becomes a distant memory.

As a little girl, you believed nightmares disappear after mom sings you to sleep. As an adult, you realized nightmares are never really gone; instead it slowly builds itself in a steady, continuous stream until it becomes real.

It became hell.

The marines took Ace. 

Whitebeard rampaged.

And one thing leads to the other, you find yourself alongside his little brother on the battlefield. Ace looked disparaged sitting atop of the execution platform, protected by the best of the best.

“Ace!” With a determined look raging through his pupils, he grit his teeth and dug his fingernails through the log he was carrying, “We’ll save you! Y/n and I, we’ll save you!” His promise rang throughout the battlefield, commencing the beginning of the end.

The battle ensues, one thing leads to another and Ace is free, running towards freedom. 

Until Akainu provokes him.

“Ha, the loser from the dead generation finally met his time.” The magma man inched closer as the flames flickered off of Ace’s body, angry.

“Take that back.” Ace growled, his white-knuckled fist engulfed in his flames. 

Akainu snickered. “In other words, he’s an eternal loser who will never surpass Roger. Making all his underlings call him ‘old man’ and ‘father’ or whatever.... he got stabbed because his stupid ‘sons’ believed every word he said.”

“The old man gave us a place where we belong,” Ace lunged forward, fist in front, swallowed with rage, “don’t make fun of the old man who saved my life!”

He dodged gracefully, turning on his heel to jab Ace in the rib. They exchange punches, the belligerent admiral having the upper hand due to Ace’s lagging and recklessness. Akainu’s eyes shifted from the fire fist to the strawhat. 

Perfect, he thought, time to end this.

He leaped in the air towards Luffy, the magma on his fist leaving a trail behind him and a smile as wide as ever. He won.

His fist never connected with the strawhat. 

It bore a hole through Ace instead.

Even better.

Overwhelming dread filled the battlefield, especially in Luffy’s unwavering faith, because holy shit you’re not supposed to see right through him. “Ace!” Marco called from the other side, soaring to his side while everyone froze in fear as they watched the events unfold. Whitebeard can only watch in lament, knowing that he did all that he could and it still wasn’t enough. Luffy promised to save him, but why does it feel like he’s the one Ace saved? 

He was there, within your reach. Why couldn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you do anything?

How could you let him die? Out of all the things you could’ve done for him, you cried.

Pathetic. 

He was right there.

You rushed into the rumbling battleground, skidding against the concrete to plant yourself next to him. Luffy’s head whipped to you, holding Ace in his shaking arms. “Y-y/n,” Luffy trembled, and the look in his eyes said it all. He’s dying.

Ace exchanged a few incoherent words with Luffy, so melancholic that he went into shock, mouth agape as his eyes rolled back into his skull.

Swapping places with Luffy, you held Ace’s head on your lap. “Hey, don’t cry,” he brushed the hair clinging to your wet face, “don’t make that face. Doesn’t look like you.” He joked as you pulled him closer to your chest with your foreheads touching and hands shaking as it was on either side of his cheeks, screaming in frustration as tears stained the ground and shamelessly dripped over his face. The warm air contrasted with the coldness of Ace’s body.

“You’re gonna be fine,” your eyes scanned for a doctor, “you’re gonna live, you’ll be fine!” You called out to the nearest medic, asking them to save him. 

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s already too late, not much to do!”

“Bullshit! You’re a fucking doctor right? What kind of a doctor can’t even save a man dying in front of him?” 

Scared, the poor doctor frantically skirted away, while Ace stared into your orbs, admiring them one last time. “No need to be upset,” he nuzzled his cheek against your thigh, “he can’t save me. Nobody can. My insides are fried.”

“Don’t talk like that!” If he wasn’t injured, you would’ve slapped the living shit out of him. “You’re not dying. I refuse. Get up.” 

“It’s no use.”

You heave up his weight, slinging his arm over your shoulder, only to come crashing back down. The others watched in pity because all you can do was repeatedly punch the ground in dismay like a child throwing a tantrum.

“You can make it!”

“Y/n.” 

“Luffy promised we’d save you and I intend to keep my word.”

“Y/n.”

While watching you trying to save him in vain, unconscious tears wet his cheeks as he bit his lip. It broke his soul to know that he has to leave you like this and there’s nothing he can do to help you. He wants to live. For you. But he knows better than to dream, especially in the condition he’s in. He haphazardly tapped your face with the fading strength he had. 

“Y/n, calm down. I’ll be fine. Please don’t cry. Listen to me, yeah?” 

You nodded, knowing it was a lie, but acquiescing to hear your lover. 

“God, I’m so tired Y/n.” He took a shallow breath before continuing, “I wanna sleep but I don’t wanna go.” I don’t want to leave you alone, hangs on his lips.

This was the end of the line. You knew it was. His stagnant breaths told you so.

All of your movements stop, frustration replaced with empty acceptance. Ace can’t remember you like this, you thought, it’d only be harder for him. “Go ahead,” you manage to show him a forced smile, contrasting against your red nose and puffy eyes, telling him it’s okay. It’s okay to go. He was not nearly convinced, but it was getting harder to fight the sleep overwhelming his crisp body.

“Go sleep,” you encouraged once more, “I’ll be here for you, waiting for you.” You choked on the words as his smile relaxed, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Love you, y/n.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for loving me.”

Clenching your fists, you bit the insides of your cheeks, hoping to drown out the deafening world. Everyone was screaming, but your heart screamed louder. Don’t go, your heart pleaded, I need you. Please don’t leave me. 

But you knew better, Ace would’ve wanted to know that you’d be okay without him. You had to be strong. For him.

This is all that I can do for him.

Before all life left his body, you sang to him one last time, hoping it would provide him as much comfort as it did for you.

“Oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun. Please shine down on me.” 

The wind gushed by, taking his last breath with it. The end of the beginning was concluding, clearing a new path for a new era in its place. The war raged, filled with metal clashing and the wailing of crestfallen loved ones. 

His vivre card burned, crumbling into thin air, as if it never existed.

Please wake me up from this nightmare.

[legion1993]

We Are What????

Title: we are what????

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Fluff sq: long lost sibling

Tags: tabooo, long lost brother and long lost sister loosing virginity to eachother, long lost brother and long lost sister married in vegas, long lost siblings learning the truth after its too late, long lost sibling sex

***NOTE: INTENDED FOR 18+ DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO SO UNDER THE TUMBLR GUIDELINES. PLEASE DONT READ IF UNDERAGE. I AM NOT JOKING. 18+ READERS ONLY STORY CONTAINS TABOO, LONG LOST SIBLINGS LOOSING THEIR VIRGINITY TO EACHOTHER! AGAIN DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE***

rating: 18+

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​

fluff 2020 masterlist

it had been the best vacation, it had been the best vacation you had taken to date. the events went as follows: 

you were on vacation this was well deserved, this was your 3 weeks away from the busy of running your own business.

 your co ceo thought you deserved a vacation after you worked your ass off for almost 3 years to get your company to where it is today.

 you were in Vegas, you were gonna dance, gamble, and drink and just enjoy yourself. You were now 5 days into your vacation and sitting at one of the blackjack tables you meet a very interesting opponent.

 YN: “do you come here often?”

 jensen: “nope I can only come here when my brother is home to watch the place. I’m Jensen by the way but everyone calls me Jay.”

 YN: “YN it’s nice to meet you. Do you normally play blackjack?”

 Jensen could only laugh as he played his turn.

Jensen: “no normally I play poker but I figured I’d switch it up. I’ll stand. So YN what brings you to Vegas other than obviously to get your butt kicked at blackjack.”

 YN: “I’ll stand as well. My Co ceo of my company thought I could use a vacation after 3 years of building the company non stop. So she sent me here to have the time of my life for 3 weeks with possibility of extension.” 

the dealer: “reveal your hands one at a time.”

jensen reveals a hand of 19. You smile darkly.

YN: “I hope your not too disappointed with this.” 

You say as you reveal your hand to be 21.

YN: “blackjack. I win!”

the dealer: “congratulations to YN our winner for the 5th night in a row. Do you want to cash out or do you want to bank for more play time later?”

yN: “I’ll bank I owe my opponent an apology drink!”

that was your first mistake. After several drinks you both were hammered. Walking back to the hotel cause through the drinking you both discovered that you were staying in the same hotel. 

you stopped at the wedding chapel. You both went to get ready and graciously paid the people for their service.

officiant: “Jensen and YN you have come here tonight to be joined in the eyes of God and the church. You may say your vows when your ready.”

Jensen takes your ring and slides it on your finger. 

Jensen: "YN I've only known you a few short moments but it feels like a lifetime. It feels like destiny. I promise to evermore love, honor. Cherish and protect thee now and evermore!" 

you took Jensen's ring and placed it on his finger.

yN: "Jensen, I feel the exact same way and I know that right now we are probably doing something that when morrow light breaks through will seem like a bad idea but I now and ever more will love honor cherish and protect thee forever with all my being!"

officiant: "then I hear by pronounce you husband and wife. Jensen you may kiss your bride!"

Jensen dipped you as he kissed you. Then you both signed some papers and were led to where both your bags were on a trolley and being taken to the honeymoon suite. 

graciously tipping the bellboy who loaded the bags into the doorway for you both and then left. Jensen picked you up bridal style and tis is how you lost your virginity.

Jensen and you tore each other's clothes off then while he had you pinned against the wall, he slid his cock into your pussy.

pounding you against the wall, in the shower, in the kitchenette, on the table, on the couch, on the floor and finally on the bed. Yes you both christened that honeymoon suite. 

for the next morning at yonder Light breaks through the window. you both woke to an array of feathers everywhere you both were snuggled together and then it sunk in. Both of you sitting straight up and looking around the room.

jensen: "what happened last night?" 

yN: "I remember the blackjack game and nothing after."

that's when you looked at your finger... Holding it up for Jensen to see.

yN: "clearly something else happened last night. Cause I don't remember getting married."

jensen: "let's think rationally now. Is it really so bad honestly come on let's at least see what we can be as a couple before we jump to any conclusions. How bout this I'll go hone with you once we are done in Vegas and we will figure us out."

yN: "sounds good to me plus you are hot I'm not surprised either way that I married you." 

Jensen could only laugh as he ushered for you to come back to the bed.  You went back to the bed, Jensen's strong embrace wrapping around you immediately. You sat on his lap his hands roaming cross your skin. 

Jensen: "now let's enjoy our honeymoon and make some magic of our own."

YN: "shouldn't we eat?"

 Jensen: "we will order room service after we finish waking up. I say we clean up the place a bit and take a shower then call room service."

YN: "clean a bit first, then shower cause it makes no sense to shower then clean. Oh I should warn you thaw t my place is new and needs a bit of reno work…"

Jensen could only laugh. 

Jensen: "that's okay it will be an amazing starter home for us or at least till we figure us out."

You went to your phone and connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the room. You played your Playlist as you and Jensen got to work. Cleaning, dancing, singing. Taking a shower you went in first Jensen called room service then joined you. 

Things starting to slowly feel normal. Throughout the rest of the vacation you both spent time at the casino, doing shopping, both of you taking full honeymoon advantage.

 The flight home was alot more enjoyable with someone to spend it with, you slept on his shoulder and he used your head as a rest spot as well his arm was around your shoulder.

 It was the most comfortable ride of your life. The arrival back on your home soil was a relief to see that it was still busy beyond compare. You went and picked up your car (black 2019 Dodge Challenger) from the parking valet. 

Jensen: "she is a beauty." 

YN: "the GPS is already programed to take us home. Do you want to drive?" 

Jensen perked up when he got back to you after having taken a lap round the car. He smiled. 

Jensen: "I would love to but I have to ask how the hell did you afford this?" 

YN: "Perk of having my own business and on top of that perk of being the world's best selling brand of sunglasses. Now get in and start her up!" 

Jensen and you both got into the car and jensen took a breath as he started the engine. Jensen ran his fingers over the steering wheel and just completely fell in love with your baby.

 Jensen: "damn YN she is a beauty. Now let's hear her purr."

 Jensen sticks your car in drive and slowly brings you both out of the parade. Once the speed sign showed that he could go 60 he stuck you baby in gear and took off. he knew to obey the rules of the road but he still had fun with it.

 Along the way your Playlist silently played in the background as you and Jensen played 20 questions. The more you both talked and the questions answered the more you both felt like you could actually pull this off, but of course you weren't gonna say anything. 

Jensen: "this neighborhood is beautiful. How much further to your place?" 

YN: "3 more blocks then it will be number 344 on your left."

 Jensen slowly drove down the blocks he smiled to himself the thought that he was married and to a woman who makes the most amazing sunglasses. His hand remained in the wheel and the shifter but your hand floated to rest in his hand.

 Arriving at your house in a matter of moments you noticed another car in the driveway that was not familiar to you. 

YN: "that car doesnt belong to me.. someone unexpected is here."

Jensen: "relax YN lets grab the bags and walk to the door im sure its nothing to worry about."

Grabbing the bags you both went up to the front door, you saw it was open a crack… You both slowly walked inside.

 YN: "hello, whoever is in here this house is owned…" 

Steps came from the basement and down the kitchen floor standing now in the doorway to your kitchen was your mom.

 Sheila: "surprise!" 

You dropped your bags and ran into the embrace of the person who had sat there with you while you cried about your loveless life. 

Yn: "I thought you weren't coming for a few weeks." 

Sheila: "yes well when we last spoke you said you wanted to do some renovations on the house. But that you were gonna do that on your own after you got back from your trip. So i decided that i would be here when you got back to surprise you… dad thought you could use the help and if he wasnt busy running the store back home he would be here too…"

You and your mom oulled back when Jensen cleared his throat clearly wanting to get your attention. You pulldd back from your mom and went back to jensen. Who now extended his hand towards your mom.

 Jensen: "ma'am my name is Jensen i am your daughters husband well kinda we…"

Yn: "twas a drunken wedding in vegas and one thing led to a really amazing vacation plus he is a loyal customer for my sunglasses. So i brought him home so we could see if we want to remain married or divorce. I gues thats my surprise as well… im really glad your here mom."

Sheila shoke jensens hand and then smiled as she heard a timer go off. 

Sheila: "go on take your stuff to your room dears. ill do it all for you both not to worry. Now go upstairs and make sure only your laundry comes down to the laundry room.. lunch will be ready soon!"

You and jensen with your bags go upstairs to your room. Your king bed and furniture exactly how you left it. 

Jensen: "renovations huh?"

Yn: "ya some painting and replacing carpet with laminate type thing. Paint every room in this house a different color depending on what the room is. Laminate to match each room. Im ambitious. Also restain the deck leading to the pool in the back. The pool cleaner and the lawn tendants should have been by and if not yet they will be by later. Running my own company comes with perks. Sorry im ramblin."

Jensen: "its alright i think its kinda cute. Now when do we get started on these renovations?"

You smile as you  go to grab your laundry basket for yours and jensens clothes.

YN: "soon as i go pick up the paint i picked out what colors i wanted for each room before i left but now that im back i can get them and start painting and shifting stuff around and and and."

You now put your hands on the bed as you just stood there. 

You were way passed overwhelmed, this made way for Jensen who had just finished getting settled in throwing his dirty clothes in the basket before coming up behind you wraping his arms around you like it was normal. 

Jensen: “dont get worked up as part of seeing all we can be ill help you renovate the house. Tomorrow we will pick up the paint and whatever else we think we will need and we will be fine. For now lets get this laundry pile put together and taken down to your mom. Then you can show me kinda what needs to be moved and where it needs to be moved to for each room to be set up so it can be painted and then we will get the floors done once everything is painted. Room by room. This house will be prestige when we are done. It will reflect the woman you are. And i look forward to renovating this home with you.”

You smiled. As you threw several more things into the basket, then you came across the wedding attire that you both realized might need to be dry cleaned instead. 

You put them off to the side and decided that you would hand them to your assistant the next time you would see her. You were not okay still, you had a lurking strange feeling in your stomach that something was terribly wrong. 

Jensen was hot, sure neither of you rememebred anything except for what you all were told by the staff. You were now sure that something was wrong. It was something in Jensen’s eyes and nature that made your mind question what was happening right then.

 But you ignored it, you felt happier than you had in ages. 

YN: “ya i guess your right. Now lets go down to mom before she decides to think degenerates of us.”

Jensen: “technically we are married degenerates. But your right as well. Lets go.”

Jensen carried the basket following you as you both walked back downstairs. You showed him where to place the laundry basket then both of you went into the living room. 

Your eyes floated to the table to the stack of coupons and various packages and other mail items on the coffee table in the living room. 

Jensen: “damn girl are you always that popular?”

YN: “yep every day… but this is from the passed month excluding todays cause it doesnt come for another hour. This will be fun. Would you like to help me open this massive pile of whatever is in here?”

Jensen: “do you have a letter opener?”

You go over to the kitchen to your junk drawer and come back with your personalized black canary letter opener… you handed it to Jensen who marveled it for a few moments before kneeling down beside you as you proceeded to organize the mail into piles.

 Jensen: “i hope one day soon to be moved in here permenantly with you. Honestly i feel so happy and we are probably gonna be expecting before we know it with how much we did not leave the bed during our time in Vegas…”

You smiled at that thought. You a mother how much of a quaint little idea that was. Damn your babies would be lookers. Jensen started with the parcels he opened them one at a time then you would go into the parcel and pull out whatever was inside.

Jensen: “i know you are thinking, you make this face when your focused or thinking i noticed it first when you were answering your emails and such while we were in vegas. Are you okay?”

YN: “hmm… yeah im okay just doing some planning in my head. Usually how i open my mail. Im sorry ive been so quiet.”

Jensen put his arm around your shoulder before you had finished speaking.

Jensen: “its all good i know you have alot on your plate. Just dont be afraid to talk to me if you ever want to.”

YN: "thank you. Now let's finish going through the mail and then I need to conference call with my assistant to make sure our week is on track."

Jensen smiled he could not believe that you were the one who made such amazing sun glasses! They were literally his favorite pair. You were the embodiment of grace and beauty,  from Jensen's point of view you were an angel.You spent the rest of the day showing jensen how your life works. 

Your mom ordered chinese for dinner with extra for left overs for the next few days. That was fine. Renovations went amazing! The next month was about getting settled in, sure the renos took longer but that was perfectly fine.

 A room a week, the flooring would be done later.. once everything was painted. Jensen and you sat in on a few confrence calls from the house during the renos and then you decided to show jensen the company and how it works make him your temp secretary while you gave your current one the month off.

 You woke up however one morning feeling off. You went to the bathroom and went through your morning work routine, shower, do your hair, make out with jensen. But this one morning you felt all bloated and gross.

 You got into the shower and thats when it happened you got that nauseous feeling. The words "oh shit" went through your head as just as you knelt down beneath the waters flow you threw up instantly.

 It was 5 minutes later that you were finally able to speak enough.

YN: "jensen…"

Footsteps were heard, jensen knew your routine, this was unusual. He came into the bathroom and opened the shower curtain to reveal you knelt down and a small pile of slowly washing awake puke. He shut off the shower head but kept the water flowing.

 Jensen: "what happened?"

YN: "i was feeling off, but i didnt think i would vomit, can you call xavier and tell him that he has to handle everything today im not going in."

Jensen: "let me get you out of there after i help you clean all the vomit off and wash your hair, then ill clean the bathtub and then ill spend the entire day waiting on my girl!"

This was the first time that Jensen had used a pet name for you or referred to you as something other than YN. This was a good sign meant he was getting used to the idea but so were you for you were putty in Jensen's arms not cause of the nausea but cause of how he made you feel. 

You watched as he cleaned the bathtub, wiped up the water off the ground, sprayed febreeze in the bathroom. You were not okay but you felt something new. 

Another month would pass before this would ever occur again. Sure enough it did this time at work. Jensen against your pleading took you to the hospital. You were pleading that you were okay and didn't need it but you kept being shot down.

 The doctors took blood work, had you peee in a cup, hooked you to a iv drip. They were doing everything they could think of. Till the doctor came in the room with a nurse with an ultrasound machine.

 Doctor: "we are just gonna make sure everything is good with your abdomen. Don't worry bout a thing. It's painless. I'm just gonna unzip your jeans a bit and then lift your shirt a bit so I can put the jelly on."

 You and Jensen complied never expecting this as a possible outcome. Never suspecting that this would be the moment you would be within the grasp of several doctors all of whom have looked after you since you were a child. 

Doc: "ok lets see what this shows. And if anything else i would like to run dna matches on both of you. Just a precautionary measure. Nothing to… oh well this is definately the source… tell me YN when was your last period?"

You had to think about that cause you last had it during the vegas trip. Good thing showers exist… but anyway you were sure you knew the answer but you complied anyway.

YN: "I think it was during my Vegas trip but doc please tell me what is going on…"

Doctor turns the monitor to face you and Jensen whose face along with yours goes pale white. 

Doctor: "congratulations your pregnant! But I want to run a blood sample on both of you to find out why there was an abnormality in your blood work."

Jensen and you get blood drawn while the fact that you were expecting a child while not even sure yet if your marriage would last. 

Jensen: "what abnormality could be in your blood work?" 

YN: "that's what you choose to discuss, not the fact that we are pregnant?" 

Jensen: "I'm shocked probably as much as you but right now I want to address that I am thrilled about this baby. Even if we haven't figured us out we are parents to a brand new life we created in this short period together. I could not think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than with you and this child."

That of course is when the doctor returned. 

Doctor: "so you both are the correct parents of this child but the abnormality in both your blood works showed several similar strands of DNA. You are siblings more specifically twins."

This made Jensen and you drop your Jaws, neither of you were expecting the news about the baby, but now finding out your siblings well that made you both shocked as fuck.

Doctor: "judging the reactions crossing both your features I am gonna gather that you both knew not of this."

Jensen: "are we done here can we go home now?"

 Doctor: "of course just be sure to come back in 4 months for another check up for the baby. And congratulations as well as I'm sorry."

 The doctor left, you and Jensen took all the stuff, now in the car with the papers of both results had to now find a way to break both news to your mother. Never thinking that anyone else would be at the house when your arrival home came round. 

You pulled into the driveway, both of you holding the file with both sets of results. Walked inside to see not only your mom but your best friend and your father as well, your best friend ran straight for you as you did her, then you let her go and was immediately embraced by your father.

 YN: "can everyone sit down and jensen will grab you all something strong to drink while we tell you something we just found out."

Jensen goes and pours some drinks for your father, mother and best friend as you both sit in front of them and begin the confrontation of a lifetime.Jensen: "for those who don't know me that I am meeting for the first time I'm Jensen YN is my wife. YN got a little sick at work so we just got back from the hospital. We found out 2 things while there."

Yn: "mom dad was there another child that you guys had along side me… Like am I a twin?" 

Sheila: "yes you are, I am ashamed that you are just finding this out now. I never thought you would. We had to make a choice when you and your brother were born money was a luxury we didn't have a lot of. We could only afford to keep one of you so we made sure your brother got adopted into a good family who would give him the life he deserved. We kept you cause we always wanted a girl. Why do you ask?"

You pull out the DNA match results between you and Jensen and hand it to your parents. They look at the paper and immediately look at Jensen they begin to shed tears of joy toasting to Jensen the prodigal son!

 But you both still had to tell them the other news. You were gonna let Jensen take this one cause you were still shocked to say the other set of news…

 Frank: "what's your other set of news? Also what happens to your marriage now with this news as I assume you both have done the deed together…?"

 Jensen: "dad, mom cause we did the deed and this entire marriage thing, consequences flurished before we found out about us being twins. We have to say we are still in shock but we are willing to make things work if you guys agree to help us…"

Jensen hands them the second set of results. You feel your hand drop to your belly Jensen's on top of yous as they look at those results. Your best friend doesn't look at the results cause she could tell from the moment she saw you.. 

Talia: "I'm gonna be an aunt yippee!!!" 

Sheila: "Talia can you please give us a few moments to speak with our children alone."

Talia: "of course."

 Talia leaves the room not straying too far so she can hear everything.

 Sheila: "Jensen we are so happy you have found your way back into our lives. We hope you come to accept us as your parents and not as those that gave you up…" 

Frank: "we understand the lure that you both had to eachother I mean you both look like supermodels good looks and all. Though we don't entirely approve of the way you came back into our lives son. We are proud of the strong people you both have become. YN my daughter we are honored to be your parents and now the grandparents to this grand baby that will grace this world soon!"

Sheila: "we are a family again!"

Jensen and you hug it out with your parents as you leave their embrace to go and sit on the steps with your best friend.

 Talia: "so you married your long lost twin brother?"

 YN: "drunk married my long lost twin yes but in our defense we were plastered. Neither of us were thinking straight and we didn't know we were siblings."

Talia: "how long till I get to meet my niece or nephew?" 

YN: "7 months but in my defense neither me nor Jensen nor anyone else  get to find out the gender for another 4 months. But how would closer to the due date you like to become a hired live in nanny type person just to help out around here once the baby is born what do you say sis?"

Talia just hugs you both of you just sitting there perfect harmony while Jensen is with your parents in the living room filling them in on his upbringing and stuff like that. 

You were sitting there with your best friend reminiscing on a time when things were simpler..You both were called back into the room at that moment. Re-entering the room you go to stand beside your husband/twin brother.

Frank: “after so long we are a whole family again. Now our family is expanding and we are so grateful to have the opportunity to be with you all. Jensen, YN though the circumstances under which you met were not ideal, you both are not shunned, not disregarded in any way shape or form. You both did right in the eyes of god and the church. It is only fit that we offer to help you both in any way we possibly can with the preparations for the arrival of the baby. To Yn and Jensen may the odds be ever in your favor…”

This was now the time when you regretted showing your father the hunger games! But the toasts flew in and chinese was ordered, everyone except you drank. What happened after that is you and your twin brother husband person thing lived happily ever after.

[drkcnry67]

WE ARE WHAT??!

Title: we are what????

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Fluff sq: long lost sibling

H&H sq: reverse!verse

Tags: tabooo, long lost brother and long lost sister loosing virginity to eachother, long lost brother and long lost sister married in vegas, long lost siblings learning the truth after its too late, long lost sibling sex

***NOTE: INTENDED FOR 18+ DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO SO UNDER THE TUMBLR GUIDELINES. PLEASE DONT READ IF UNDERAGE. I AM NOT JOKING. 18+ READERS ONLY STORY CONTAINS TABOO, LONG LOST SIBLINGS LOOSING THEIR VIRGINITY TO EACHOTHER! AGAIN DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE***

rating: 18+

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​ @heavenandhellbingo​

fluff 2020 masterlist   heaven and hell 2020

it had been the best vacation, it had been the best vacation you had taken to date. the events went as follows: 

you were on vacation this was well deserved, this was your 3 weeks away from the busy of running your own business.

 your co ceo thought you deserved a vacation after you worked your ass off for almost 3 years to get your company to where it is today.

 you were in Vegas, you were gonna dance, gamble, and drink and just enjoy yourself. You were now 5 days into your vacation and sitting at one of the blackjack tables you meet a very interesting opponent.

 YN: “do you come here often?”

 jensen: “nope I can only come here when my brother is home to watch the place. I’m Jensen by the way but everyone calls me Jay.”

 YN: “YN it’s nice to meet you. Do you normally play blackjack?”

 Jensen could only laugh as he played his turn.

Jensen: “no normally I play poker but I figured I’d switch it up. I’ll stand. So YN what brings you to Vegas other than obviously to get your butt kicked at blackjack.”

 YN: “I’ll stand as well. My Co ceo of my company thought I could use a vacation after 3 years of building the company non stop. So she sent me here to have the time of my life for 3 weeks with possibility of extension.” 

the dealer: “reveal your hands one at a time.”

jensen reveals a hand of 19. You smile darkly.

YN: “I hope your not too disappointed with this.” 

You say as you reveal your hand to be 21.

YN: “blackjack. I win!”

the dealer: “congratulations to YN our winner for the 5th night in a row. Do you want to cash out or do you want to bank for more play time later?”

yN: “I’ll bank I owe my opponent an apology drink!”

that was your first mistake. After several drinks you both were hammered. Walking back to the hotel cause through the drinking you both discovered that you were staying in the same hotel. 

you stopped at the wedding chapel. You both went to get ready and graciously paid the people for their service.

officiant: “Jensen and YN you have come here tonight to be joined in the eyes of God and the church. You may say your vows when your ready.”

Jensen takes your ring and slides it on your finger. 

Jensen: "YN I've only known you a few short moments but it feels like a lifetime. It feels like destiny. I promise to evermore love, honor. Cherish and protect thee now and evermore!" 

you took Jensen's ring and placed it on his finger.

yN: "Jensen, I feel the exact same way and I know that right now we are probably doing something that when morrow light breaks through will seem like a bad idea but I now and ever more will love honor cherish and protect thee forever with all my being!"

officiant: "then I hear by pronounce you husband and wife. Jensen you may kiss your bride!"

Jensen dipped you as he kissed you. Then you both signed some papers and were led to where both your bags were on a trolley and being taken to the honeymoon suite. 

graciously tipping the bellboy who loaded the bags into the doorway for you both and then left. Jensen picked you up bridal style and tis is how you lost your virginity.

Jensen and you tore each other's clothes off then while he had you pinned against the wall, he slid his cock into your pussy.

pounding you against the wall, in the shower, in the kitchenette, on the table, on the couch, on the floor and finally on the bed. Yes you both christened that honeymoon suite. 

for the next morning at yonder Light breaks through the window. you both woke to an array of feathers everywhere you both were snuggled together and then it sunk in. Both of you sitting straight up and looking around the room.

jensen: "what happened last night?" 

yN: "I remember the blackjack game and nothing after."

that's when you looked at your finger... Holding it up for Jensen to see.

yN: "clearly something else happened last night. Cause I don't remember getting married."

jensen: "let's think rationally now. Is it really so bad honestly come on let's at least see what we can be as a couple before we jump to any conclusions. How bout this I'll go hone with you once we are done in Vegas and we will figure us out."

yN: "sounds good to me plus you are hot I'm not surprised either way that I married you." 

Jensen could only laugh as he ushered for you to come back to the bed.  You went back to the bed, Jensen's strong embrace wrapping around you immediately. You sat on his lap his hands roaming cross your skin. 

Jensen: "now let's enjoy our honeymoon and make some magic of our own."

YN: "shouldn't we eat?"

 Jensen: "we will order room service after we finish waking up. I say we clean up the place a bit and take a shower then call room service."

YN: "clean a bit first, then shower cause it makes no sense to shower then clean. Oh I should warn you thaw t my place is new and needs a bit of reno work…"

Jensen could only laugh. 

Jensen: "that's okay it will be an amazing starter home for us or at least till we figure us out."

You went to your phone and connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the room. You played your Playlist as you and Jensen got to work. Cleaning, dancing, singing. Taking a shower you went in first Jensen called room service then joined you. 

Things starting to slowly feel normal. Throughout the rest of the vacation you both spent time at the casino, doing shopping, both of you taking full honeymoon advantage.

 The flight home was alot more enjoyable with someone to spend it with, you slept on his shoulder and he used your head as a rest spot as well his arm was around your shoulder.

 It was the most comfortable ride of your life. The arrival back on your home soil was a relief to see that it was still busy beyond compare. You went and picked up your car (black 2019 Dodge Challenger) from the parking valet. 

Jensen: "she is a beauty." 

YN: "the GPS is already programed to take us home. Do you want to drive?" 

Jensen perked up when he got back to you after having taken a lap round the car. He smiled. 

Jensen: "I would love to but I have to ask how the hell did you afford this?" 

YN: "Perk of having my own business and on top of that perk of being the world's best selling brand of sunglasses. Now get in and start her up!" 

Jensen and you both got into the car and jensen took a breath as he started the engine. Jensen ran his fingers over the steering wheel and just completely fell in love with your baby.

 Jensen: "damn YN she is a beauty. Now let's hear her purr."

 Jensen sticks your car in drive and slowly brings you both out of the parade. Once the speed sign showed that he could go 60 he stuck you baby in gear and took off. he knew to obey the rules of the road but he still had fun with it.

 Along the way your Playlist silently played in the background as you and Jensen played 20 questions. The more you both talked and the questions answered the more you both felt like you could actually pull this off, but of course you weren't gonna say anything. 

Jensen: "this neighborhood is beautiful. How much further to your place?" 

YN: "3 more blocks then it will be number 344 on your left."

 Jensen slowly drove down the blocks he smiled to himself the thought that he was married and to a woman who makes the most amazing sunglasses. His hand remained in the wheel and the shifter but your hand floated to rest in his hand.

 Arriving at your house in a matter of moments you noticed another car in the driveway that was not familiar to you. 

YN: "that car doesnt belong to me.. someone unexpected is here."

Jensen: "relax YN lets grab the bags and walk to the door im sure its nothing to worry about."

Grabbing the bags you both went up to the front door, you saw it was open a crack… You both slowly walked inside.

 YN: "hello, whoever is in here this house is owned…" 

Steps came from the basement and down the kitchen floor standing now in the doorway to your kitchen was your mom.

 Sheila: "surprise!" 

You dropped your bags and ran into the embrace of the person who had sat there with you while you cried about your loveless life. 

Yn: "I thought you weren't coming for a few weeks." 

Sheila: "yes well when we last spoke you said you wanted to do some renovations on the house. But that you were gonna do that on your own after you got back from your trip. So i decided that i would be here when you got back to surprise you… dad thought you could use the help and if he wasnt busy running the store back home he would be here too…"

You and your mom oulled back when Jensen cleared his throat clearly wanting to get your attention. You pulldd back from your mom and went back to jensen. Who now extended his hand towards your mom.

 Jensen: "ma'am my name is Jensen i am your daughters husband well kinda we…"

Yn: "twas a drunken wedding in vegas and one thing led to a really amazing vacation plus he is a loyal customer for my sunglasses. So i brought him home so we could see if we want to remain married or divorce. I gues thats my surprise as well… im really glad your here mom."

Sheila shoke jensens hand and then smiled as she heard a timer go off. 

Sheila: "go on take your stuff to your room dears. ill do it all for you both not to worry. Now go upstairs and make sure only your laundry comes down to the laundry room.. lunch will be ready soon!"

You and jensen with your bags go upstairs to your room. Your king bed and furniture exactly how you left it. 

Jensen: "renovations huh?"

Yn: "ya some painting and replacing carpet with laminate type thing. Paint every room in this house a different color depending on what the room is. Laminate to match each room. Im ambitious. Also restain the deck leading to the pool in the back. The pool cleaner and the lawn tendants should have been by and if not yet they will be by later. Running my own company comes with perks. Sorry im ramblin."

Jensen: "its alright i think its kinda cute. Now when do we get started on these renovations?"

You smile as you  go to grab your laundry basket for yours and jensens clothes.

YN: "soon as i go pick up the paint i picked out what colors i wanted for each room before i left but now that im back i can get them and start painting and shifting stuff around and and and."

You now put your hands on the bed as you just stood there. 

You were way passed overwhelmed, this made way for Jensen who had just finished getting settled in throwing his dirty clothes in the basket before coming up behind you wraping his arms around you like it was normal. 

Jensen: “dont get worked up as part of seeing all we can be ill help you renovate the house. Tomorrow we will pick up the paint and whatever else we think we will need and we will be fine. For now lets get this laundry pile put together and taken down to your mom. Then you can show me kinda what needs to be moved and where it needs to be moved to for each room to be set up so it can be painted and then we will get the floors done once everything is painted. Room by room. This house will be prestige when we are done. It will reflect the woman you are. And i look forward to renovating this home with you.”

You smiled. As you threw several more things into the basket, then you came across the wedding attire that you both realized might need to be dry cleaned instead. 

You put them off to the side and decided that you would hand them to your assistant the next time you would see her. You were not okay still, you had a lurking strange feeling in your stomach that something was terribly wrong. 

Jensen was hot, sure neither of you rememebred anything except for what you all were told by the staff. You were now sure that something was wrong. It was something in Jensen’s eyes and nature that made your mind question what was happening right then.

 But you ignored it, you felt happier than you had in ages. 

YN: “ya i guess your right. Now lets go down to mom before she decides to think degenerates of us.”

Jensen: “technically we are married degenerates. But your right as well. Lets go.”

Jensen carried the basket following you as you both walked back downstairs. You showed him where to place the laundry basket then both of you went into the living room. 

Your eyes floated to the table to the stack of coupons and various packages and other mail items on the coffee table in the living room. 

Jensen: “damn girl are you always that popular?”

YN: “yep every day… but this is from the passed month excluding todays cause it doesnt come for another hour. This will be fun. Would you like to help me open this massive pile of whatever is in here?”

Jensen: “do you have a letter opener?”

You go over to the kitchen to your junk drawer and come back with your personalized black canary letter opener… you handed it to Jensen who marveled it for a few moments before kneeling down beside you as you proceeded to organize the mail into piles.

 Jensen: “i hope one day soon to be moved in here permenantly with you. Honestly i feel so happy and we are probably gonna be expecting before we know it with how much we did not leave the bed during our time in Vegas…”

You smiled at that thought. You a mother how much of a quaint little idea that was. Damn your babies would be lookers. Jensen started with the parcels he opened them one at a time then you would go into the parcel and pull out whatever was inside.

Jensen: “i know you are thinking, you make this face when your focused or thinking i noticed it first when you were answering your emails and such while we were in vegas. Are you okay?”

YN: “hmm… yeah im okay just doing some planning in my head. Usually how i open my mail. Im sorry ive been so quiet.”

Jensen put his arm around your shoulder before you had finished speaking.

Jensen: “its all good i know you have alot on your plate. Just dont be afraid to talk to me if you ever want to.”

YN: "thank you. Now let's finish going through the mail and then I need to conference call with my assistant to make sure our week is on track."

Jensen smiled he could not believe that you were the one who made such amazing sun glasses! They were literally his favorite pair. You were the embodiment of grace and beauty,  from Jensen's point of view you were an angel.You spent the rest of the day showing jensen how your life works. 

Your mom ordered chinese for dinner with extra for left overs for the next few days. That was fine. Renovations went amazing! The next month was about getting settled in, sure the renos took longer but that was perfectly fine.

 A room a week, the flooring would be done later.. once everything was painted. Jensen and you sat in on a few confrence calls from the house during the renos and then you decided to show jensen the company and how it works make him your temp secretary while you gave your current one the month off.

 You woke up however one morning feeling off. You went to the bathroom and went through your morning work routine, shower, do your hair, make out with jensen. But this one morning you felt all bloated and gross.

 You got into the shower and thats when it happened you got that nauseous feeling. The words "oh shit" went through your head as just as you knelt down beneath the waters flow you threw up instantly.

 It was 5 minutes later that you were finally able to speak enough.

YN: "jensen…"

Footsteps were heard, jensen knew your routine, this was unusual. He came into the bathroom and opened the shower curtain to reveal you knelt down and a small pile of slowly washing awake puke. He shut off the shower head but kept the water flowing.

 Jensen: "what happened?"

YN: "i was feeling off, but i didnt think i would vomit, can you call xavier and tell him that he has to handle everything today im not going in."

Jensen: "let me get you out of there after i help you clean all the vomit off and wash your hair, then ill clean the bathtub and then ill spend the entire day waiting on my girl!"

This was the first time that Jensen had used a pet name for you or referred to you as something other than YN. This was a good sign meant he was getting used to the idea but so were you for you were putty in Jensen's arms not cause of the nausea but cause of how he made you feel. 

You watched as he cleaned the bathtub, wiped up the water off the ground, sprayed febreeze in the bathroom. You were not okay but you felt something new. 

Another month would pass before this would ever occur again. Sure enough it did this time at work. Jensen against your pleading took you to the hospital. You were pleading that you were okay and didn't need it but you kept being shot down.

 The doctors took blood work, had you peee in a cup, hooked you to a iv drip. They were doing everything they could think of. Till the doctor came in the room with a nurse with an ultrasound machine.

 Doctor: "we are just gonna make sure everything is good with your abdomen. Don't worry bout a thing. It's painless. I'm just gonna unzip your jeans a bit and then lift your shirt a bit so I can put the jelly on."

 You and Jensen complied never expecting this as a possible outcome. Never suspecting that this would be the moment you would be within the grasp of several doctors all of whom have looked after you since you were a child. 

Doc: "ok lets see what this shows. And if anything else i would like to run dna matches on both of you. Just a precautionary measure. Nothing to… oh well this is definately the source… tell me YN when was your last period?"

You had to think about that cause you last had it during the vegas trip. Good thing showers exist… but anyway you were sure you knew the answer but you complied anyway.

YN: "I think it was during my Vegas trip but doc please tell me what is going on…"

Doctor turns the monitor to face you and Jensen whose face along with yours goes pale white. 

Doctor: "congratulations your pregnant! But I want to run a blood sample on both of you to find out why there was an abnormality in your blood work."

Jensen and you get blood drawn while the fact that you were expecting a child while not even sure yet if your marriage would last. 

Jensen: "what abnormality could be in your blood work?" 

YN: "that's what you choose to discuss, not the fact that we are pregnant?" 

Jensen: "I'm shocked probably as much as you but right now I want to address that I am thrilled about this baby. Even if we haven't figured us out we are parents to a brand new life we created in this short period together. I could not think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than with you and this child."

That of course is when the doctor returned. 

Doctor: "so you both are the correct parents of this child but the abnormality in both your blood works showed several similar strands of DNA. You are siblings more specifically twins."

This made Jensen and you drop your Jaws, neither of you were expecting the news about the baby, but now finding out your siblings well that made you both shocked as fuck.

Doctor: "judging the reactions crossing both your features I am gonna gather that you both knew not of this."

Jensen: "are we done here can we go home now?"

 Doctor: "of course just be sure to come back in 4 months for another check up for the baby. And congratulations as well as I'm sorry."

 The doctor left, you and Jensen took all the stuff, now in the car with the papers of both results had to now find a way to break both news to your mother. Never thinking that anyone else would be at the house when your arrival home came round. 

You pulled into the driveway, both of you holding the file with both sets of results. Walked inside to see not only your mom but your best friend and your father as well, your best friend ran straight for you as you did her, then you let her go and was immediately embraced by your father.

 YN: "can everyone sit down and jensen will grab you all something strong to drink while we tell you something we just found out."

Jensen goes and pours some drinks for your father, mother and best friend as you both sit in front of them and begin the confrontation of a lifetime.Jensen: "for those who don't know me that I am meeting for the first time I'm Jensen YN is my wife. YN got a little sick at work so we just got back from the hospital. We found out 2 things while there."

Yn: "mom dad was there another child that you guys had along side me… Like am I a twin?" 

Sheila: "yes you are, I am ashamed that you are just finding this out now. I never thought you would. We had to make a choice when you and your brother were born money was a luxury we didn't have a lot of. We could only afford to keep one of you so we made sure your brother got adopted into a good family who would give him the life he deserved. We kept you cause we always wanted a girl. Why do you ask?"

You pull out the DNA match results between you and Jensen and hand it to your parents. They look at the paper and immediately look at Jensen they begin to shed tears of joy toasting to Jensen the prodigal son!

 But you both still had to tell them the other news. You were gonna let Jensen take this one cause you were still shocked to say the other set of news…

 Frank: "what's your other set of news? Also what happens to your marriage now with this news as I assume you both have done the deed together…?"

 Jensen: "dad, mom cause we did the deed and this entire marriage thing, consequences flurished before we found out about us being twins. We have to say we are still in shock but we are willing to make things work if you guys agree to help us…"

Jensen hands them the second set of results. You feel your hand drop to your belly Jensen's on top of yous as they look at those results. Your best friend doesn't look at the results cause she could tell from the moment she saw you.. 

Talia: "I'm gonna be an aunt yippee!!!" 

Sheila: "Talia can you please give us a few moments to speak with our children alone."

Talia: "of course."

 Talia leaves the room not straying too far so she can hear everything.

 Sheila: "Jensen we are so happy you have found your way back into our lives. We hope you come to accept us as your parents and not as those that gave you up…" 

Frank: "we understand the lure that you both had to eachother I mean you both look like supermodels good looks and all. Though we don't entirely approve of the way you came back into our lives son. We are proud of the strong people you both have become. YN my daughter we are honored to be your parents and now the grandparents to this grand baby that will grace this world soon!"

Sheila: "we are a family again!"

Jensen and you hug it out with your parents as you leave their embrace to go and sit on the steps with your best friend.

 Talia: "so you married your long lost twin brother?"

 YN: "drunk married my long lost twin yes but in our defense we were plastered. Neither of us were thinking straight and we didn't know we were siblings."

Talia: "how long till I get to meet my niece or nephew?" 

YN: "7 months but in my defense neither me nor Jensen nor anyone else  get to find out the gender for another 4 months. But how would closer to the due date you like to become a hired live in nanny type person just to help out around here once the baby is born what do you say sis?"

Talia just hugs you both of you just sitting there perfect harmony while Jensen is with your parents in the living room filling them in on his upbringing and stuff like that. 

You were sitting there with your best friend reminiscing on a time when things were simpler..You both were called back into the room at that moment. Re-entering the room you go to stand beside your husband/twin brother.

Frank: “after so long we are a whole family again. Now our family is expanding and we are so grateful to have the opportunity to be with you all. Jensen, YN though the circumstances under which you met were not ideal, you both are not shunned, not disregarded in any way shape or form. You both did right in the eyes of god and the church. It is only fit that we offer to help you both in any way we possibly can with the preparations for the arrival of the baby. To Yn and Jensen may the odds be ever in your favor…”

This was now the time when you regretted showing your father the hunger games! But the toasts flew in and chinese was ordered, everyone except you drank. What happened after that is you and your twin brother husband person thing lived happily ever after.

[realismsx]

the drunk candy corn adventures pt. 2

when: november 1st, 2014. 

time: roughly around 5am? at this point evan has no idea. time has literally just stopped existing. 

where: the rouge room strip club, in west hollywood. far far away from where evan is supposed to be. 

mentions: avia knox.

TWs: sex ( slightly NSFW ), alcohol, and drugs.

it had had felt like years since a very plastered evan had clambered into the back of the pick-up truck. some of the alcohol daze had definitely worn off, that was for sure, as the headache that had previously only pinpricked at his temples was now pounding against them like someone had taken a hammer to his skull. he was still moderately drunk though, so that kept any of the other terrible hangover symptoms at bay for now. 

he’d finally let his body relax on the drive, head slumping back against the tinted window of the suv, eyes drifting closed as the heavy wind of whatever highway they were rushing across whipped at his skin. painted nails pinched at him occasionally through the back window, evan’s eyes flicking open briefly to give reassurance that he was still alive. he could tell these women were worried he was going to keel over and die on them and he didn’t blame them -- the state they’d found him in was damn near close enough to death or at least it’d felt that way to evan. there was no way in hell he hadn’t been accidently roofied this evening. maybe he’d picked up a solo cup not meant for him or maybe some crazy ass sorority chick wanted his guard down -- either way his body and mind were far past what alcohol normally did to him. as long as they got to wherever they were going soon, evan didn’t care. he needed to properly lay down somewhere, even if it was beneath a stripper in some dirty club. anything better than the sidewalk outside a frat house on halloween night.

****

the truck finally came to a stop in the back parking lot of a dingy looking building, smack dab in the middle of a downtown area that evan definitely didn’t recognize. it wasn’t necessarily a high class looking place, but it wasn’t the slums either. the vibe was what he expected it to be. he’d been to a few strip clubs before and this one was no different.

“where are we exactly?” words came easier to him now as the drunken haze started to fade, “don’t think i’ve ever been here before...” 

“the rouge room in west hollywood, baby!” the driver, the gorgeous brunette who seemed to be leading this pack of strippers, cheered proudly as they all began to exit the truck. she slunk around to the back, reaching a hand out for evan to take to help him. hesitantly, he accepted her grip and slid himself off the truck bed, his feet finding solid ground. 

“im sorry, did you say west hollywood? like los angeles?” he asked, the confusion in his tone clear. no wonder if felt like it took forever to get here -- they drove him SIX hours to another state.

“yes?,” the brunette scoffed, her expression giving away her own confusion at his question like it was unusual for someone to be confused in this situation. “you said you wanted to come back with us. regretting that choice now?” evan glanced up at the building once more, taking in it’s exterior appearance. it looked like your typical strip club, nothing particularly shady or alarming standing out to him. he didn’t feel like he had anything to worry about and the company he was with sure made the trip worth it, so any hesitation he’d held was fading away fast.

“nah, not at all,” his eyes shifted to the tiny girl before him, her own gaze already locked on him. she didn’t seem intimated by him like most women did which was kind of a turn on and his curiosity about her definitely was at the forefront of his mind, every other concern disappearing “let’s do this.” he said with a grin, adjusting his costume before his started off in the direction of the back door. 

***

man, did these strippers know how to party. not only did they kick off the evening with each of them giving evan a lap dance, but one also gave him what he suspected was either molly or a low-grade LSD of some sort. she’d been grinding herself against his crotch, so his mind was already elsewhere, and before he could protest, she grabbed his cheeks and kissed him heavily, sliding the little white pill into his mouth with her tongue. it dissolved quickly into his system and soon he was in a state of pure bliss,

so much for the way alcohol made him feel, this is what a real party was made of. 

although his mind was floating in wonderland, part of him was still present and aware of his surroundings. he could feel things ten times stronger than he normally could and oh wow - did he feel everything that happened to him. 

he got his cocked sucked at least twice, that much he knew. the distinct feeling was an unforgettable one thanks to whatever they’d slipped him. he’d never felt it so strongly before and it didn’t take much to bring evan to his climax in this state. on any normal day, a woman making him come that quickly would cause pure embarrassment, but here? he couldn’t find a single negative feeling to even be had. 

the brunette, whose name he never learned, came to check on him a few times, her amused smile floating in his vision each time she came back to make sure he was still having fun. she’d laugh at him and he’d laugh back, nothing mattering to him anymore as he cruised cloud nine.

“i’ll let them have their fun with you,” she whispered as pulled at his eyelids, looking deep into his eyes to see if his pupils were still dilated. at that distance, evan could smell her perfume and she smelled like what could only be described as the perfect mixture of vanilla and lavender and he wanted to swim in that smell, “then you and i are gonna have some fun, ok?” a soft, but lingering kiss placed on his lips made a tiny groan rise in throat and he resisted the urge to pull the woman back to him......

then something hit him -- a memory: the flash of a pretty smile, blonde hair rustling around her perfect face, her own soft kisses trailing his chest as she teased his exposed skin in glow of the morning sun. her body melted into his own, a perfect fit like it was meant to be there. her nails traced gently across the lotus tattoo etched into his bicep, her voice familiar and warm. he couldn’t hear what she was saying, but he could feel how content her quiet words made him, a rare form of joy washing over him. he felt at home in her arms and in presence. who was she? was this another acid trip? no -- he knew who it was. the way her smiled made his heart thump beneath his chest was all too intimate. she wasn’t a product of the high, but the sudden memory was. avia.

well shit --- what has he gotten himself into?

[turtle-steverogers]

fugitives- chap 9

hey guys i finally stowed my shit and yeeted out a chap lol

thanks, as always, to @tommy-boyyy for helping me raise this baby.  im sorry ive been a neglectful father

warnings: vomiting mentions, gunshots/death, race kinda panics, spot’s got a Bad Past. tread lightly

ship: eventual ralbert

editing: actually,,,yes.  wow

word count: 4672 oml

“Save it.  Hotshot, take care of him.  Motherfucker really thinks he can trick the King of Brooklyn.”

“You got it, boss.”

Snarling, Spot turned away, busying himself with lighting a cigarette as a gunshot rang out behind him, followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground.  He tried not to wince, his heart hammering in his chest as he turned around to see the druggie’s body, mangled and bloody on the ground.

Bile threatened to rise in his throat, but he ignored it, retaining his neutral expression as he took another drag of his cigarette, deliberately blowing the smoke in the direction of the body.

“Asshole,” he mumbled, flicking the small bag of oregano next to the guy’s head.

“Ready to go back?” Hotshot asked, slipping his gun back into the waistband of his jeans.

“Mark it first,” Spot snapped, “We’ll leave once you do that.”

Hotshot shifted uncomfortably, prodding the guy’s leg with the toe of his shoe and biting back a gag, “Yeah, okay.”

“Get to work,” Spot waved a hand dismissively, “I’ll keep watch.”

He averted his eyes from the scene and crossed to the mouth of the alleyway, keeping his arms folded as he scanned the streets.  He could hear Hotshot spray painting behind him and at one point, the distinct sound of someone vomiting echoed through the space.  Eventually, Hotshot joined him at his side, hands shaking as he stowed his spray paint can back into his jacket.

They set off back in the direction of Prospect’s base, The Refuge, complete silence ringing between them.  The streets of Brooklyn seemed to darken, taking on a more sullen tone as they approached the tall, seemingly abandoned building.  

They entered, voices from other members of Prospect dying down as they walked further in.

Spot sat down at one of the card tables, raising his eyebrows expectantly, “Deal me in.”

Spot dominated several rounds of poker, casually draining everyone of their money.  Another round was just dealt when a knock at the door sounded.  Bumlets placed down his cards and got up, extracting his gun out of his jacket as he did so.  He walked to the door, executing Prospect’s signature knock.

The response knock resonated in return and Bumlets opened the door, gun still raised just in case.  The room collectively relaxed when Trevor, Prospect’s resident spy, walked in.

He nodded his thanks to Bumlets, then crossed to Spot leaning down behind his chair to speak in his ear, “We got a situation.”

Spot furrowed his brow, “What kind of situation?”

Trevor’s eyes flicked around the room, “Alone.”

Spot nodded, putting his cards down and standing.  He motioned for Trevor to follow him up the stairs and into his meeting room, which was adorned with nothing more than a few card tables pushed together.  Spot sat down in one of the chairs that surrounded the table and motioned for Trevor to do the same.

“What’s going on?” Spot demanded as soon as they were settled.

“Empire’s back on their shit,” Trevor bit out, “Traded with me this morning.”

Spot set his jaw, fist clenching on the table, “Do you have any idea who it was?”

“Uhh, didn’t catch his name, but he was a blondie.  Curly hair.”

Spot’s nostrils flared as anger and a concoction of other emotions bubbled in his stomach, “Higgins,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, “Was he alone?”

Trevor shook his head, “Nah, but you know who I’m talking about?”

“Yes,” Spot closed his eyes for a moment, grinding his teeth, “Not your place to ask.”

Trevor looked down, sheepishly, “Sorry, I-”

Spot held up a hand, effectively shutting him up, “Who was he with?”

“Uhh, some ginger.”

“Ginger?” Spot cocked his head, rifling through the members of Empire that he knew of, but no redheads came to mind.

“Yeah, he seemed pretty nervous, too,” Trevor added, “Didn’t do any of the talking.  Seemed to just be along for the ride.”

“Ah,” Spot said, trying to process the new information, “Well, thank you for letting me know,” Trevor sat awkwardly for a moment and Spot scowled, “You can go now.”

Trevor nodded quickly, before standing and hurrying out of the room.

Spot sat back in his chair, propping his feet onto the card table.  He leaned his head back until he was peering at the ceiling, a million thoughts swimming through his mind.  His own trade that morning had been in Queens, not far from Trevor’s shop.  Did that mean that he had been near Race?  Had Race seen him?  

He distantly wondered what would have happened if they had seen each other.  Nothing good, no doubt.  

Maybe a continuation of their last conversation.

A dull pang of regret hit his gut, slowly manifesting throughout his body.  He reached into his pocket, extracting a juiced out lighter.  He ran his thumb over the faded ‘R’ that was engraved on the side.

With a rush of adrenaline, he chucked it across the room, watching as it broke it half once it made contact with the wall.

XXX

“Are you alright?”

Race hung his head, closing his eyes as he held up his hand to knock on the stage door to The Bowery.  

“Yes,” he sighed, knocking, “Leave it.”

Albert grimaced, closing his mouth as Race knocked.  He had barely spoken on the entire journey back to Manhattan.  To say he seemed on edge was an understatement.  His face was still pale and during their entire Uber ride back, Albert could see a shaky hand lingering near his belt, right where his gun was located.  

A chorus of shouts rang out down the street, followed by loud cursing.  It was nothing out of the ordinary for the city, but Race jumped violently, flinching a bit before knocking more desperately.

The door swung open a moment later and the usual precautionary gun pointed out.  Race whined a little and pushed past whoever was on watch duty at that moment.

“Not in the mood, Jojo,” he mumbled, walking in hurriedly and practically sprinting up the stairs in the direction of the bathrooms.

Jojo watched him go, then turned to Albert, concern and confusion written on his face.

Albert raised his hands, shrugging, “I don’t know, bro,” he said, “We ran into Prospect-”

Jojo’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something, but Albert shook his head.

“Well, we didn’t necessarily run into them, but we heard them do a trade near us and they killed some dude.  Race got pretty spooked.”

Jojo nodded, “Yeah, he’s not great ‘round that stuff.”

“Yeah,” Albert said, “I know.  Don’t think it helped that one of the guys was Spot Conlon.”

“What!?” Jojo looked horrified and Albert waved his hand for him to be quiet.

“Shhh,” He hissed, “but yeah.  They didn’t see us, though.  We’re safe.”

Jojo didn’t look convinced, but he dropped the subject anyway, shaking his head as he crossed to the rec room.  Albert followed him awkwardly, pulling out his phone as they walked in.  He busied himself in scrolling through Race’s secret meme account as Jojo perched himself on one of the tables, eyes trained on the TV.

“Ah, there it is.”

Albert looked up, his gaze travelling from Jojo to the TV, where a shot of a crime scene was being filmed.  Sure enough, a covered dead body adorned with the death symbol was located in the alleyway Race and Albert had been beside.  Albert winced, looking away as flashes of Elmer’s body streaked through his mind.  He pursed his lips, blinking rapidly as he focused back in on his phone.  Jojo must have noticed his reaction, because a moment later, the TV turned off.

“Wanna play cards?” He asked lightly, holding up a spare deck.

Albert clicked off his phone, slipping it into his back pocket and commending himself for maintaining steady hands.

He shrugged, “Sure.  Are you gonna be as annoying as Race?”

Jojo laughed, already moving to deal out the cards, “No, I’m actually pleasant to play with.”

Albert chuckled as he sat down, pulling his cards towards himself and propping his elbows onto the table, “Oh, thank god.”

They played several rounds of Rummy, making comfortable conversation as they did so.  Albert felt himself relaxing more in this time with Jojo than he had in all his time in Empire.  Jojo was easy-going and collected.  His calm stature was contagious, momentarily lifting the permanent pit of dread in Albert’s stomach.

But the pit quickly returned when a new voice sounded through the rec room.

“Albert, may I speak with you a moment?”

Albert blew a breath through his nose, trying to dampen the fresh anger that ignited within him as he turned around.

“What, Davey?” he glared, trying to hold his ground against the other man, but Davey seemed entirely unphased, the usual dullness in his eyes as strong as ever.

“Come with me,” he beckoned to Albert, but he made no move to get up.  Davey let out an exasperated sigh, “Just for a minute, then you can go back to whatever you’re doing.”

Albert remained sitting and Davey took a step further into the room, leaning against the wall.

“I need to know the details of what happened in Queens today and Race is not in a position to answer questions about it right now,” He fixed Albert with a pointed look, “and you were the only other person that was there, so I’m asking you.”

“Fine.”

Davey lead him to the entrance room and sat down.  Albert stood a few feet away, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he watched Davey.

“You may sit,” Davey said, linking his hands in front of him.

“Nah,” Albert said, “I’m good.”

Davey studied him for a moment, a judgemental eye scanning his features, “Very well,” he sighed, defeated, “Talk me through what happened today.  Start with the trade.”

Albert rolled his eyes to the ceiling, keeping his gaze aimed upward as he spoke in a monotone voice.

“So, we got to the trade place on time. I think it was a like furniture store or some shit.  Anyway, we made the trade with the guy at the counter-“

“Did you catch a name?” Davey inquired.

“Uhh,” Albert sifted through his memory, trying to recall who they had met with, “Trevor, I think.”

Davey nodded, motioning for him to continue.

“So after we did the trade, we went to some, like, convenience store? And on our way out, we heard shit going down-“

“Shit going down?” Davey pushed, “That’s vague. What specifically did you hear?”

“Shouting, uh, yeah,” Albert said, “Some guy tried to con some Prospect guys I guess. I think I heard ‘em accuse him of tryna give oregano instead of weed,” he paused, thinking, “Idiot move by the way. They don’t even look the same.”

“Albert, continue.”

“Sorry, sorry, anywho,” He shook his head, getting himself back on track, “So one guy, who, by the way, Race later told me was Spot Conlon-“

Davey choked, “Pardon!?”

“Shut up, let me finish,” Albert waved a hand, “He told another dude to ‘take care of him’ and they shot him, so yeah. We ran after that.”

Davey blinked, dumbfounded.  He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to formulate words, “Did, um, did they see you?”

Albert shook his head, “Didn’t even know we were there,” he said, “only dude who saw us in Queens was the one we traded with.”

Davey seemed satisfied with this answer, “okay, good.”

XXX

Race hurried up the stairs, the world blanking out as he stumbled towards the bathrooms.  The only thing he could hear was his heart hammering in his chest, thudding relentlessly against his rib cage.

He’d kept it together all the way back from Queens, narrowly dodging Albert’s prodding questions and concerned glances.

He was fine.  Really, he was.  He just hadn’t heard a certain, distinguishable Brooklyn accent in a while and he wasn’t necessarily equipped to deal with it.  

Because last time he’d heard that voice, everything had gone to shit.  Last time he’d heard that voice, his sanity was challenged; his morals were compromised.  His life as he knew it was-

He shook his head, willing for the wave of memories to leave his goddamn mind.  Distantly, his knee twanged and he reached down to rub it, his hand grazing over the rough scar underneath his jeans.

“Damnit, Spot,” He muttered as the old wound throbbed with each heartbeat, reminding him painfully of that god-awful day.

He lowered himself to the floor of the bathroom, scooting so that he was leaning against the wall.  He only just remembered to lock the door.  He couldn’t handle anyone intruding right now.  

He closed his eyes, using the hand that wasn’t holding his knee to scratch at his throat.  He knew from experience that this was something he’d just have to ride out.  There was no easy or quick way of dealing with this.

He grit his teeth, trying in vain to keep the more brutal visions out of his brain.  But it wasn’t working.

With a gasp of defeat, he lost himself to his head.  

XXX

“We need to discuss him.”

Jack pointed at Albert as he entered the dining hall.  It was later in the evening and Davey had taken to cooking dinner, which consisted of packaged ramen and fruit snacks.  Cooking was apparently not his forte.

Albert looked up from his bowl, slurping the noodles into his mouth loudly.  He shrunk in his seat slightly, feeling overwhelmed by the new attention that was on him.  He didn’t like being around the other guys without Race.  He felt out of place.

But Race hadn’t reappeared since their return, leaving Albert to mill about solo.  

“What about me?” Albert asked, not managing to keep the nerves out of his voice.

Jack ignored him, keeping his attention on Davey, “Another ‘Less is More” sign popped up today over by Bleecker Street,” he scrubbed an anxious hand down his face, “Whatever Prospect’s planning is in full swing and we needa put a stop to it sooner rather than later, which means-“

“-Albert’s going to have to get in on their game now.” Davey finished.

“Exactly.” Jack slumped down in one of the chairs, stress written in his stature, “But how we’re gonna do that is the real question.”

Albert busied himself back in his food, plucking a fruit snack out of its bag.  As much as he hated being talked about as if he weren’t there, he knew better than to interrupt.

“Hmmm,” Davey tapped his fingers against the table, his eyes wandering as he brainstormed options, “The trouble is, how can we get Spot to trust him? His judgment is much better and he’s much less persuadable than Race.”

Jack clicked his tongue, frustrated, “I know.  That’s the problem.”

“We could have him save good ole Spottie’s life.”

All three of them jumped as Race spoke from the doorway.

“Racer,” Jack exclaimed, “doing okay?”

Race avoided the question, walking further into the room and joining them at the table.  He sat down, kicking his feet up and crossing his arms at his chest, his usual cockiness in full swing.  The faint redness in his eyes was noticeable, but everyone had enough tact to pretend like they didn’t see it.

“Think about it,” Race continued, “We put Conlon in a compromising situation.  Break him down.  Make it hard for him to keep his cool, let alone fight for himself.  Then, bam! Al here swoops in and saves the day,” Race smirked triumphantly, “After that, Spot owes him one.  We frame Albert to be a long time customer of theirs.  Make it seem like he wants in on their gang.  There’s his repayment right there,” when he was met with blank stares he groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically, “Membership to the gang. That’s the repayment, come on guys. Keep up!”

Davey nodded slowly, mulling over Race’s idea, “That’s actually really smart,” he concluded, “But how do we break him down.”

“His dad,” Race said immediately.

Jack looked up, bewildered, “What?”

“His dad was Prospect’s leader before him,” Race said, “Awful guy.  Fucked Spot up a lot-”

“How do you know all this?” Albert interjected.

Race plowed on, only acknowledging Albert’s question in his eyes, which sparked nearly imperceptibly, “He was also targeted by a bunch of guys in the city.  Had a lot of unfinished business and bad ties.  People were after him all the time while he was alive.”

Davey was staring intensely at the table, his fingers drumming faster by the second.  Suddenly, he snapped, his back straightening as the gears in his head seemed to click into place.

“We use Spot as a target of vengeance,” there was a weird excitement in his tone.

Race pointed at him, grinning, “exactly.”

“Now we just need some guys to pose as old enemies,” Jack said,

Race was quiet for a moment, his eyebrows scrunched together, “Uh,” he shook his head, thinking, “I might know some people? Maybe?”

“Okay,” Davey said.  They all stared at Race, waiting for him to continue, “Well, who?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.  I got distracted,” Race said, sheepishly, “Right, so these two dudes, you might know them, Oscar and Morris Delancey?”

Jack’s eyes widened in recognition at the names, “The two dudes that, like, were arrested a few years back?”

“That’s them,” Race said, “They owe me one for saving their skin from some bulls a while ago.  I could get them on board.”

Davey turned to Albert, “You ready?”

Albert swallowed, sucking in a breath.  Jack, Race, and Davey were all looking at him expectantly and he tried his best to hold down the anticipation that had spread through his limbs.  He could feel adrenaline coursing through his body, spreading like a drug through his veins.  He was really doing this.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “Yeah, I am.”

Race’s beam was the first thing he registered.

XXX

Albert sat at the edge of his bed, half-heartedly shoving clothes into his bag.  The nervous excitement for what would be occurring in less than 24 hours had worn off, leaving him wary.  He had no idea what exactly he was looking for, let alone enough knowledge to recognize clues if he sees them.  

Besides, he had barely assimilated to one branch of gang life.  The thought of having to grasp a whole other gang was jarring.  He sighed, zipping up his bag and slipping his charger into the side pocket.

“Hey, I gotcha something.”

He looked over to see Race hovering at the mouth of his section, one hand behind his back.

The corners of his mouth quirked up, “Ooo, didn’t peg you for a gift-giving kinda guy.”

Race rolled his eyes, taking Albert’s words as an invitation to sit on the foot of his bed, “Shut up, it’s a practical gift.”

Curiously, Albert scooted closer to Race, “What is it?”

Albert’s mouth dropped open as Race placed a switchblade on the sheets of his cot.  The blade itself was a glinting gold color, while the handle had a sleek wooden finish.  His name was embossed on the bottom of the blade, the letters barely visible unless it was held up against light.  As terrifying as it was, it was beautiful.

Albert reached forward, taking the knife in shaking hands.  He turned it over a few times, getting a feel for the weight.  He’d never handled a true weapon before and there was something oddly invigorating about it.  

“I know a guy that does engravings scary quick,” Race admitted, pulling Albert out of his trance, “Thought I’d get you a little something to tie to you us while you’re gone, since we can’t getcha tatted up until you come back…”

The ‘if you come back’ that hung in the air was suffocating and Albert’s gripped tightened around the blade.  He couldn’t let himself go there now.  He was at a point of no return, he may as well go into it with confidence.

“Besides,” Race said, cutting through the tension, “You’ll need something you defend yourself and I don’t have time to get you comfy with a gun.”

Albert looked up at him, flicking closed the knife and stowing it under his pillow, “Thanks, man,” he smiled.

“Yeah,” Race said, “‘Course,” He moved so that he was laying down on the cot, feet still on the floor, “How are you feeling about all this?”

Albert shrugged, mirroring Race’s position, “I don’t know,” he said honestly, “Scared?  I don’t even know what I’m looking for.”

Race glanced at him sideways, “Anything to do with that dumb message they’ve been leaving.”

“Well, obviously,” Albert scoffed, “But what if they’re talking about it and I don’t even realize ‘cause I’m not in on shit.”

Race looked back towards the ceiling, his eyes scanning over the catwalks, “How about this,” he said, “We can meet up somewhere every night and you can tell me everything you heard during the day,” He allowed the words to sink in and Albert considered them.

“How will I even get out of their base or whatever each night?”

“Spot sleeps early,” Race said and Albert could only briefly wonder how he knew that before he kept talking, “and no one notices the fire escape on the third floor in the back.”

The puzzle pieces seemed to fall into place and a chill ran down Albert’s spine, “holy fuck, you were-”

“Don’t.” Race said, his voice low and his eyes harsh as he looked at Albert.

Albert held eye contact for a moment, before giving up, “Right, okay.”

“Anyway,” Race said, his tone lightening again, “we can see if those meet-ups work.  That way, everyone’s on the same page.”

“Okay,” Albert agreed.  This arrangement instilled a strange amount of comfort into him and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  Being in Prospect was bound to be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do, but going through each day knowing he could see someone he’d unironically begun to associate with safety allowed him some solace.

Race smiled, “It’s a plan.”

XXX

The sun was harsh, beating down unceasingly on Albert’s back.  He shifted his backpack strap from one shoulder to the other, grimacing as he felt sweat drip down his neck.  It was weirdly warm for a Winter day, the temperature pushing into the high 50s.  Large crowds of people were outside that day, no doubt taking advantage of the freak heat wave to walk their dogs properly and take their kids out to Central Park.

Albert lingered near the side street in which the plan was supposed to be executed, casually sipping a slurpee as he leaned against the wall.  He was facing away from the street, but his ears were straining to listen for Spot’s distinct voice.  He glanced down at his watch.  3:04.  Six minutes until Spot was to show up, expecting a trade.

Race had stayed at the Bowery, offering Albert nothing more than a quick hug and a good luck banana before he’d rushed off, leaving Albert to deal with his nerves alone.  Jack had traveled with him only as far as the subway station, filling him in on the known members of Prospect along the way.  They’d met the Delancey Brothers at the station, only talking to them briefly before Jack left, leaving them to follow through with the plan.

Albert had subtly slipped into a 7/11 along the way, allowing the Delanceys to walk ahead and prepare for their portion of procedure.  But his drink tasted sour against his tongue as anxiety threatened to engulf him.  He wasn’t ready.

He shook his head, taking another sip.  Yes, he was.  He had to be.

“Who the fuck are you two,” Spot’s thick Brooklyn accent cut into Albert’s perception and he sucked in a breath, inching closer to the side street, “I’m supposed to be trading with some chick.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Conlon,” one of the brothers, Oscar maybe? Snarled.

Albert heard a gun cock, “The fuck are you talking about?” Spot snapped.

“See, that little daddy of yours fucked up our lives when he was around,” Morris said, his voice taunting.

“Got our sorry asses arrested,” Oscar added on.

Albert knew this was a lie.  Race told him that they’d gotten arrested for drug possession and vandalism, but it sounded convincing enough.

“And see, we only just got out of jail,” Morris said.

“And we wanted to get some payback.”

“But when we went looking for Papa Conlon we found that, oh no! He was gone.”

“So we figured we’d just go for next of kin.”

Albert had to give them props.  They sounded really fucking creepy.

“What my fucking father did was his business, not mine,” Spot ground out, but Albert didn’t miss the faint tremor in his voice.  Race was right.  He was scared- threatened.

“Oh, we know,” Morris mused, “But I’m sure you deserve this, too.”

The sound of a punch echoed and Albert heard Spot grunt in pain.  It sounded like one of the brothers had gotten his face.

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is.” Spot sounded weak.  Something Albert would have deemed impossible for him.

Spot wasn’t graced with an answer as another punch rang out, followed by the sound of something hitting the ground.  

“Do you miss your daddy?” Oscar growled, “Do you miss him doing the dirty work? Or has the rush of murder grown on you.”

“Stop,” Spot panted, “Please.”

“Begging now, are we?” Morris laughed, “Didn’t know the King of Brooklyn had it in him to beg.”

Another gun cocked and Albert pursed his lips.  This was his cue.

“Please, I’m sorry my dad fucked up,” Spot pleaded, “I’m not him.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

Albert took a deep breath, steeling himself.  It was now or never.

He rounded the corner, giving himself a running start before he barreled over Oscar, who had his gun pointed at Spot’s face.  Spot was cowering on the ground with hands help up in front of his face, eyes squeezed shut.

Albert fumbled with Oscar for a moment, landing a few hits in before spitting at him, “Get out of here before I call the police.”

Morris and Oscar made a beeline for the streets, leaving Albert alone with Spot.  Albert couldn’t help but be surprised at Spot’s appearance.  He was significantly shorter than he had imagined, sporting a leather jacket similar to Race’s.  He was no doubt well built, his muscles bulging almost obnoxiously through the sleeves.  

The most notable thing about him, though, were the converse he was wearing.  It didn’t seem entirely on brand for a notoriously tough gang leader to be wearing converse and Albert bit back the urge to laugh.

He quickly wiped his hands on his jeans, rubbing off the nervous sweat and dust, before holding it out for Spot.  Spot opened his eyes slowly, staring at Albert cautiously.  He made no move to take his hand and for a scary moment, Albert thought he saw recognition in his eyes.  But it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

Spot stood on his own accord and stepped back, clearing his throat, “thanks,” he grunted.

Albert nodded, “No problem,” he swallowed, trying to embody Race’s unwavering and convincing confidence, “You’re Spot Conlon, right?”

Spot’s head whipped up and he reached for his gun, only to let out a frustrated growl when he realized that it was on the ground, several feet away after being knocked out of his hand during the brawl.

“Relax,” Albert said, trying to sound nonchalant, “I’ve just been one of Prospect’s customers for a while.”

“What, and you want some drugs or something?” Spot spat.

“No,” Albert said, lifting his chin defiantly.  He ignored the voices in his head, telling him to run.  Get out of there, “I want in.”

-

wow wild ride this bread is considered gotten

rip druggie sorry bro -whizzy

thanks for reading, chief

hmu to be added to my tag

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[virmillion]

What Was Missing

me? writing something unrelated to what i’m supposed to be working on again? it’s more likely than you think // aka i had another idea and wrote it down and hopefully it doesn’t suck // TLDR i try to write with some different tools and it maybe isnt terrible but i guess we’ll find out (@ the limericks, im lookin at you)

a n g s t      (or at least my attempt at it)

Pairings: none, maybe prinxiety if you squint

Warnings: blood mention, lots of yelling, character death (sort of), let me know if you see any more

Word count: 4k ish

It started as most problems do in the mindscape—a sudden absence, a feeling that something was missing. Something, someone, who really knew anymore? With Roman gallivanting off to his room every odd day to fight another dragon witch, his booming voice was rarely missed so much as endured when it was present. Logan, research in hand, was oft to chain himself to a desk and not back away until his eyes were burning, eyelids heavier than his textbooks. Patton, so concerned with keeping everything together among the other three, rarely had a chance to shut himself away for some peace and quiet, no no no, his responsibilities were too great. But one day, one certain day that had no peculiar charm nor supernatural air about it, his duties felt… shorter, somehow. There was less to be taken care of, but Patton could not for the life of him tell you why. At least, not until the gaping hole demanded it be noticed, not until it was screaming so hard and so loud, Patton might well have gone deaf in its efforts. The only problem with it being so loud and so insistent lies within its very nature—this absence is not the sort to announce itself, so much as it is the type to slink away quietly, to duck out when nobody’s looking. Maybe this is why Patton initially seeks out Roman to inquire about his relaxed day. Maybe this is why Logan didn’t set down his research quickly enough. Maybe this is why they were too late.

“Hey there, kiddo,” Patton says one unremarkable morning, knocking gently on Roman’s door. The emptiness down the hall screams bloody murder, all consuming to each of Patton’s senses. Maybe this is why Patton is too disoriented to realize that, for once, Roman isn’t the source of the noise. Maybe this is why Roman cautiously eases the door open, one hand resting on the hilt of his blade, only to be met with the concerned face of the moral side.

“What’s up, Patton?” Roman replies, widening the door like screaming jaws as he lets his hand relax a bit from the sword. Not all the way, though.

“Something just feels off, y’know?” Patton struggles to put into words his feelings, his subconscious distracted by the cries and yells and shouts. “It’s as if the last few days have been really, I don’t know, simple? I haven’t had to do as much, and it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Can’t say I understand,” Roman apologizes. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a dragon witch I really must be off to see. If you could be so kind?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Patton nods, backing out of the room as Roman draws his sword. Maybe the door closes too quickly for Roman to notice the strained look in Patton’s eyes, or the way he can’t quite seem to stop tugging his ear, like too much sound is being absorbed at once. Maybe the finality of Roman’s door slamming shut is what steers Patton away from what could have saved the absence.

    At Logan’s room across the hall, Patton doesn’t bother with knocking on the door that’s already ajar, instead walking straight through the impossibly clean room to the hunched figure in the chair. It jerks awake as Patton taps it lightly on the shoulder, revealing Logan huddled under a mass of blankets, his eyes swollen pits of red and grey from inadequate sleep. The same blanket is bunched around the base of his chair as when Patton put it there two nights ago.

    “What is it, Patton?” Logan demands, his eye twitching gently. Maybe it’s from overworking himself. Maybe he hears the cries, too. “I have very important work to be doing here, as you should very well know.”

    “Well, yes,” Patton admits, “but you look as if the only work you’ve been doing is catching up on the sleep you never get. I had something else to bring up with you, but, um,” he glances over at Logan’s pristine bed, looking as impeccable as if it had never been slept in before. Patton has a sneaking suspicion this might be the case, but maybe he’s just a little tired, too.

    “I have absolutely no requirement for such frivolous endeavours as sleep,” Logan scowls, disgust lacing every word. “You most of all should know that we hardly require any of that human nonsense, from sleep to hydration to food. With all of your silly baking festivities, I would expect you to have figured that out already.” Patton bites his lip before he can make some sort of joke out of the situation, knowing quite well that this isn’t the time. Maybe there’s never really a time to make a joke with any of them. Maybe the yells are in his head, and he just needs to let them pass over, like an angry storm cloud.

    In his own room, Patton takes a few deep breaths, desperate to let the warm lights in his room soak through his skin, make the noises go away. Why should he be desperate, anyway? He’s had so much extra time, he got to see everyone in the mindscape today! Roman, and Logan, and—and—and—and—

    The lights suddenly get brighter, too bright, as the yells crescendo, turning into shouts into screams then back into cries into sobs into whimpers into silence. Patton rubs his temples gently. Maybe he’s just overworked. Maybe he’s just exaggerating the problem. Lots of people hear things that aren’t there. You’re not a person, Patton. Patton knows this. He knows that he’s not human, that there’s no reason for baking or sleeping or drinking, but it’s all in good fun. All for enjoyment. The yelling is not enjoyment. He did not ask for the yelling. In fact, he would much prefer to have the yelling silence itself. Maybe he’ll go take care of it himself.

It’s impossibly cold out here

Way up on the highest tier

Why haven’t they come?

It’s all so numb

Why can you not recall the year?

    “Now where is that blasted dragon witch?” Roman mutters to himself, stalking silently through the cattail reeds, sword drawn. Itching for something, anything, to fight, Roman lashes out at a blade of grass in front of him. Before he can mow it down, the noise returns. Quite obnoxious, to be frank, but indelible nonetheless. It skewers through his skull, screaming as his sword swings, stopping it short to smack the grass blade and allowing the green spike to swipe back at him, scratching the side of his face. Louder, louder, the noise mumbles and moans and mourns and Roman must move on, make more progress meeting his maker in the scaled madam making her monstrosities as Roman remains in the reeds. The noise gets louder. Roman chops through the sea of grass. The screams cut across his clothes, criss-crossing so crassly the prince can almost catch the cutlass in his hand.

    Somewhere ahead, a dragon roars, undercut by a woman’s scream. Not a damsel in distress. This damsel is the distress. Damn. Roman throws his arms over his head, squeezes his biceps, anything to make that screaming shut up. Not enough. He backs carefully out of his room, head pounding, sword thrown haphazardly in its scabbard, and the whole package is tossed into the reeds. That’s a problem for later. Roman’s head pounds harder, hurting, hurts oh God help him he heaves with his hands on his knees hearing every helpless howl hammering through his head help him please help.

    In the lounge, the furthest room possible from the yelling screaming cursing crying, Roman collapses upon a couch. Something under his back, sharp and prodding, makes him sit up. A pair of bulky headphones. Now where on earth could these have come from? Regardless of the reason, Roman slips them over his ears, expecting some sort of punk song to carry him away, tuning out the cries for help.

    Why though? Why does he expect a punk song to come on? He doesn’t even know where these headphones came from, any more than he can explain away the screaming that grows ever louder. Why is it so. Loud?

    “Oh thank gosh Roman you’re out here,” Patton sighs in relief, stumbling into the lounge area with one fist curled against his head. Worry lines etch themselves into his face, deeper than if they’d been there for years. Replacing something else that was there for years. Or never there. “Why are you just sitting down? I’d expect you to at least be doing something exciting.”

    “I am, I’m listening to the—the head—the headphones—the headphones.” Roman’s voice trips over itself, warping and warbling, where were the headphones why wasn’t he holding the headphones was he ever holding the headphones why weren’t they there when were they there?

    “Okay buddy, whatever you say,” Patton smiles, not seeming to notice the little… we’ll call it a glitch… in Roman’s system. “Want some cookies?”

    “Don’t you do anything else besides bake?” Roman sneers. Something pushes at his mind, the yelling, thoughts, something, but it screams and cries to stop, not to get going on an argument he wants no part in. The yelling is louder. “Last I checked, we all had real duties to perform to help Thomas, and making cookies at the drop of a hat isn’t exactly a useful skill to a living person with real thoughts and feelings.” Roman gives Patton a once-over, suddenly standing—when did he stand up he was supposed to be sitting down—and continues, ignoring the hurt welling up in his companion’s eyes. “Oops, I guess that would imply that you, feelings, are real. My bad.” Stop it Roman stop hurting him stop it!

    “Right. I’ll just, um, I’m just gonna be over, y’know, somewhere that isn’t, uh, isn’t in here.” Patton rushes out, both hands pressed against his face now. Roman sags a bit, sitting standing sitting standing kneeling sitting standing sitting standing sitting sitting sitting sit still. Bounce bounce bounce back and forth between being everywhere and being nowhere and being everything in between. The screaming increases. Help.

It’s probably been but a day

You were always just in the way

They don’t know it’s you

Your screams coming through

Forgotten, you may as well stay

    “Honestly, how am I expected to get important work done for Thomas when I’m plagued by that infernal sound?” Logan mutters, whipping the blanket off of his back. Who does Patton think he is, intruding on Logan’s privacy like that without asking? The blanket is still in the way, rumpled in a heap over his feet, so Logan does the most logical thing he can think of—kicking it across the room, getting progressively more pissed each time it doesn’t cooperate by breaking the laws of physics. Is that really so much to ask?

    The blanket finally beaten into submission, Logan makes for the commons, a permanent grimace set upon his face as the yelling recedes behind him. Expecting a calm scene in which he can bask in silence, Logan is sorely disappointed by what greets him in the lounge; Patton staring at a wall, motionless, and Roman sitting standing sitting standing not holding still. How displeasing.

    “Have you two seriously lost your grip so easily?” Logan demands, freezing Roman in place and getting Patton to snap his head over. “Regardless of why this sound is occurring, we all need to work together to resolve it.”

    “All?” Roman asks. Patton echoes him, softer and more unsure.

    “Yes. All.”

    “But we aren’t all here.”

    “I can’t say I understand what you mean. You, me, and Patton. All.”

    “But that’s not, I mean, it isn’t like we just—”

    “Roman, I have never known you to fumble for words so largely as this,” Logan scolds. “All. Three of us. That is all. Now, if you’re done with whatever your situation is, we really need to get back to the task at hand—getting rid of that sound.” Roman casts his eyes down, face burning, but he’s finally sitting down, and staying that way. The cries get louder.

    “Patton, care to share your input?” Patton mutters something about the days being easier, the same spiel he fed Logan not long before. “Not that. Something useful would be nice.” Patton quiets, biting his lip. A tinge of something, regret perhaps, floods through Logan for a split second, but just as quickly, it vanishes.

    “Okay. Alright. What’s missing?” Logan tries. His glasses slip down his nose. He does not adjust them.

    “It’s really loud,” Roman offers, “so it must have been important.”

    “Then why can’t I remember it?” Patton hisses, gripping his forehead tightly. His fingers go white. Louder.

    “Maybe it was just annoying, and this is its lingering irritation,” Logan says.

    “It’s down at the end of the hall with our rooms,” Patton begins, flinching at nearly every word. Too loud. Make it stop. “Maybe we could investigate down there?”

    “I second it,” Roman replies. “It’s as good a place to start as any.” As one, not dissimilar to a hive mind, the trio rises—when did Logan sit down?—and move toward the screeching. Ice cold laces through their blood, frozen fingers creeping down their backs as their ears seem to split. If you asked them later, none of the three could tell you whether their feet walked them down the hall, or the room pulled itself closer, using their agony as a grappling point. Louder. Deafening. One way or another, they arrive at the screaming door, vibrating from the noises coursing through it, all amplified by the door itself. The bravest of the bunch, Roman, cowers in fear. He’s not about to touch that monstrosity. The brain of the bunch, Logan, knows in his mind that the door can’t really hurt him. He does not reach for the handle. Patton. Patton stretches a hand, fingers trembling as the sound leaps across the axons and the dendrites to his nails and skitters through his bones, weaving between muscles and fat to fill him up until he’s gasping, choking, overflowing. Patton opens his mouth to let it escape, and the screeching heightens. Louder. Louder. LOUDER.

    Screaming and crying and shouting and moaning all at once, Patton wrestles the door handle down and presses forward, first with the handle, then his other hand, and his shoulder and his foot and Logan and Roman join in, pounding the door that refuses to give way to their attacks on it.

    The handle shatters in Patton’s hand.

    The screaming stops.

    A soft sigh takes its place.

    Then silence.

They’re actually trying to look

All because your voice is a hook

Here you remain

Your ears unstained

Maybe now you should close the book

    Patton glances at the shards of metal in his hand, then back to Logan and Roman. He’s so stunned, he almost can’t feel the edges digging into his skin, feel the tiny red pearls beading at the surface. He holds them tighter, trying desperately to hold onto what the three all realized before it can vanish again.

    Virgil.

    We forgot Virgil.

    “Patton, your hand,” Roman murmurs, looking at the offending body part that refuses to let go of the handle, refuses to let go of what he can’t believe he forgot. Maybe he doesn’t deserve to remember.

    “We need to get that wrapped up,” Logan adds. He takes Patton gently by his free hand, pulling him down the hall toward the commons, where they keep a few first aid kits, just in case.

    We forgot Virgil.

    Suddenly, Patton is in the commons, barely wincing as Logan carefully wraps bandages around his hand, Roman extracting the shards of metal as he goes. Maybe each stab is a fraction of what Virgil felt.

    We forgot Virgil.

    Maybe Virgil forgot them.

    Patton looks on blankly as Logan finishes, gently tightening the wrapping and tying it off. “We need to help him,” he mumbles. Logan waves it off, checking the floor for any lost metal pieces. “We need to help him.”

    “We need to figure out why he’s gone first,” Logan retorts. “We don’t know why he left, and we don’t want to make it worse. At least it’s finally quiet.”

    We forgot Virgil.

    “Yeah, remember how we left it last?” Roman cuts in. Patton shakes his head.

    “It all kind of went foggy right up until that screaming.” Virgil’s screaming.

    “There was an argument,” Logan begins.

    “Thomas was having a social problem,” Patton continues.

    “He was worrying,” Roman fills in.

    “We told him off.”

    “He went silent.”

    “Didn’t even fight back.”

    “Sank out.”

    “No sarcasm.”

    We forgot Virgil.

    “We need to help him.”

    “We still only have the vaguest of reasons for his disappearance,” Logan says. “We cannot afford to make it any worse, if this is the least we’ve seen of what is involved with a missing Virgil.” A missing Virgil. A thing to be fixed. Not a friend to be found.

    “Maybe the room will tell us,” Patton whispers. Grasping at straws. Anything.

    We forgot Virgil.

    “Right, the room that shattered the thing you need to get inside of it. Brilliant, Patton, truly a work of genius,” Roman sneers, bouncing between sitting and standing again.

    “Not the time for attitude,” Logan reprimands. “It’s the only idea we have to go off of, so we may as well, given the lack of success shown by ignoring the noise.”

    “Not noise. Virgil.” Patton sniffles.

    We forgot Virgil.

    Patton is the first to rise and head for the door with no handle, now a deafening silence in contrast to the aching screams of earlier. Logan follows, all efficiency and strategy, despite the fact that no one is really sure what to do next.

    “Even if we find out why he’s missing, that won’t bring him back,” Roman complains. “Besides, do we really need the Edgelord back?” Patton clenches his undamaged fist in an effort not to do something he’ll regret later.

    Through gritted teeth, he spits, “of course we need him back. He’s one of us.”

    With no small amount of discomfort in the air, the trio makes their way to the silent door, each peering down and squishing in to try to see through the hole left by the door handle.

    Only gaping space beyond.

You know, it’s really not so bad like this

They claim to regret, yet remain remiss

You like being alone

This could be a home

This is how you leave, vanished like a wisp

    “Move aside,” Roman orders, stepping back with his sword drawn. Patton and Logan leap out of the way of the door as Roman charges. He raises his sword, giving a battle cry, and barrels forward.

    The door opens.

    Roman’s momentum carries him through, swinging his sword regardless as the door slams shut behind him. Patton and Logan remain outside.

    His sword goes flying into an endless abyss of stars and blackness. The red sash across his white attire tightens, constricting and squeezing like a viper before completely tearing off at the shoulder. Now a limp ribbon, it follows the sword into nothingness.

    “What’s going on?” Roman attempts, but his voice is too hoarse, too small, lost in everything and nothing. The world around him seems to expand by the second, nothingness multiplying by nothingness exponentially. Silent.

    Where is Virgil?

    Sound.

    Behind him.

    Roman turns to where the door is—was. Gone. Above it, a strip of nothingness with no stars in it. A silhouette against the shining lights. Roman blinks, shakes his head, blinks again, and he’s suddenly beside the silhouette, looking out at an endless expanse of space. He turns his head.

    Virgil.

    Before Roman can open his mouth, offer an explanation, ask for a reason, Virgil punches him in the face.

    Hard.

    Roman goes down.

    Hard.

    Virgil disappears, and the world splinters.

    And shatters.

    “Just shut up! Thomas doesn’t need you dragging him down like this!”

    “I hate to say it, kiddo, but Roman’s right. You really don’t need to be so… much.”

    “Indeed, your excessive overtime is dragging all of us down with you. Don’t you suppose you might feel better if you were to, perhaps, lay low? Stay quiet?”

    They’re always demanding your silence

    They never consider emotions violence

    Their words will bite

    Don’t put up a fight

    Just seclude yourself on your islands

    “Too good to talk back? Come on Virgil, where’s that dry wit? Hit me with it! Hit me!”

    “Roman, don’t taunt him. We don’t want him to get worse.”

    “It may not be in our best interest to discuss this in front of him.”

    You think your words aren’t ringing

    Hatred in their bite stinging

    But please have no fear

    I’ll soon not be here

    Not even a bell left dinging

    “I wish he’d just leave, we’d all be better off and he knows it.”

    “Now Roman—”

    “I don’t think you should—”

    “I hate him.”

    Roman blinks again, finally remembering.

    Why did he say that? It was a moment of weakness and stupidity, and he wants nothing more than to take it back. A little hard to do, given that Virgil is nowhere to be seen. Just space. The vast sky. And Roman. Alone. No sword. No sash. No purpose. What did you do?

    “I just want to know one thing,” a voice whispers, coming from every direction at once. Impossibly quiet, to the point that Roman has to strain to hear it. “Why did you say it?” The drawling, apathetic tone, in a voice otherwise identical to his own, it has to be Virgil.

    “I didn’t mean it, it was just the heat of the moment, I swear—” Roman babbles.

    “I didn’t ask for excuses. I asked for a reason.”

    “I don’t have one! Because I’m stupid, okay? That’s why.”

    “Unfortunate.”

    Roman waits with bated breath for the voice to come back, even just to yell at him some more, anything but being alone in this room.

    Silence.

    Alone.

    Please come back.

    Waiting.

    Waiting.

    “I just wanted to see the stars.” Roman glances to the right—the voice actually had a concentrated source this time. “You all forgot me, but no one forgets the stars.” A constellation takes shape in the distance, a vague silhouette of Virgil, unless Roman is just kidding himself. “No one forgets you.”

    Before he can respond, Roman watches the world fall apart again, depositing him on the ground in an endless white space. He can’t tell where the walls end and the ceiling begins. The only thing standing out in this room, besides himself, is the black lacquer door. Stabbed through its center is his sword, his red sash twined around it.

    The voice doesn’t come back.

    Roman yanks the sword from the door with little resistance, fixing the sash over his shoulder. The door swings open. Patton and Logan are gone. He heads for the common area. Logan’s nose is buried in a book, while Patton stands at the counter icing cookies.

    “Patton? Where’s, uh, where are your bandages?” Roman asks, looking at the hand that appears perfectly healed.

    “Weird joke, Roman. Is that the kind of humor that’s hip with the kids these days?” Patton twirls an icing bag in the air. “I can be hip.”

    “Logan, have you seen Virgil?” Roman asks as he moves out of the kitchen, leaving Patton to his cookies.

    “Seen whom?” Logan doesn’t look up from his reading.

    “Virgil! Anxiety? Hot Topic? Edgelord? J-Delightful?” Logan lifts an eyebrow and peers at Roman over his book.

    “I will admit to not often utilizing humor, but even I know that this is not it.”

    Roman leans against the back of the couch, suddenly unsteady as his mind is hit with too many thoughts at once. The most important one, the only one that truly matters, pierces his skull like so many unheard screams and cries.

    They forgot Virgil.

Tag List:

@sakurahayasaki @erlenmeyertrash @lemonpepperpizza @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @milomeepit  /// im gonna tag some other people that didnt ask to be because everyone knows i c r a v e validation @asexual-trashbag @tinysidestrashcaptain @notafeeling @the-prince-and-the-emo @princeyandanxiety @fallingamor @prinxietys sorry if you didnt want to be tagged feel free to ignore this

[lukeysgirl]

Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.9

                                                 Part N I N E 

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: hi hi!!! gabs is back with another part. im so, so happy that everybody is enjoying this series. i made this part a bit more intimate, so i hope that makes everybody’s day (lol). tysm for all the support n love. 100 notes is the goal, but ik yall know this ! x

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]

                                                      I M A G I N E 

Arrival to Ireland, 13:02 P.M.

“We’re actually going to a party today,” Calum told you as the two of you started unbuckling your belts. People were already rising from their seats to scoop up their carry-ons and exit the plane. “We’re to head out in a few hours, but we’re leaving from the hotel.”

“Yeah?” You asked, pondering about the party. “Is it one of those big celebrity parties?”

“Yep.” Calum said as he began taking down your carry-on and carrying it for you. He grabbed your book bag and held it up for you so you can put it on with much more ease. “There’s gonna be a few good friends of ours.” 

“I wonder who they might be...” You thought seriously. You walked behind Calum as he was leading the way out of the plane. But as he did, you noticed him putting his hand out behind him. “Are you asking for something, Cal?”

“Your hand, dummy,” Calum mumbled, glancing at you to see his cheek lightly tinted pink from embarrassment. Your heart skipped, having you slowly place your hand in his as he walked you down the jetway and into the airport. He squeezed it lightly while rubbing a few of his fingertips in the palm of your hand. “Your hand is so soft, love.” 

M-my hand? ‘Love?’ You thought, feeling Calum’s hard skin against yours. His callouses felt endless as you rubbed part of his palm. It was rough, but it was him and it was real. Your thumb couldn’t stop rubbing the harsh skin, your nail getting merely stuck in the wrinkles of his hand. 

“Y/N!” You were suddenly released from your fixation of Calum’s hand and turned to see Luke rush over. “Hey how was your fli-- woah.” His ocean eyes quickly darted down to the clasped hands, his pupils dilating in some form of shock. “What’s this?” Luke asked, gesturing the entire thing with his index finger. 

Before you can open your mouth, Ashton appeared to your left. 

“It would seem Calum grew some balls and finally explained things to her,” Ashton teased, having Calum look back to glare at Ashton. 

“Um, shut up?” Calum growled, facing forward once more as he held your hand tighter. You blushed, looking down at your hands as guards quickly began surrounding you guys. Michael came from behind and held his hands on your shoulders as you guys walked. 

“Aw, Calum is so happy now!” Michael teased. He then fell silent and you noticed a sly smile paint across his lips. Suddenly, you felt a nose trace down your neck slowly, having you shudder from the touch. Calum must’ve felt the vibrations as he turned around and glared at Michael. 

“The fuck you doing back there?” Calum growled, letting you go and lunging himself at Michael. You were flushed, unsure as to how you felt. You held your neck as you, Luke, and Ashton, watched Calum and Michael. Calum was practically choking Michael as Michael was cracking up. 

Dublin, At the hotel, 13:30 P.M.

“Man, plane trips are always so draining,” Luke commented as he dropped down on the bed. Michael nodded before toppling himself over Luke. “Michael, what the fuck!?”

“I’m just as drained,” Michael groaned.

“Then be drained on the other bed!” Luke complained as he pushed Michael off him and to the ground. You couldn’t help but giggle as you sat on the floor in a pretzel. Calum joined you, sitting right beside you while Ashton sat on the counter of the kitchen. 

“So,” Michael began as he suddenly propped up from the floor. His forest eyes was darted to you while giving you a devious smirk. “How did Calum finally sweep you off your feet? Other than, you know, him stopping from being such a dickface.” 

“Shut up!” Calum hissed. You giggled, patting Calum’s knee to calm him. 

“Well, he told me he fell in love right when he--” 

“Wait, Y/N.” Michael halted you, having you watch as Michael then shifted his attention towards Calum. “I want to hear it from Calum.” 

“Oh do you now?” Calum muttered in annoyance. Michael nodded happily before sitting on the floor right in front of Calum. 

“I want all the deets!” Michael gushed in a girl-like voice. You couldn’t help but laugh at Michael, seeing as he was twisting his hair and pretending to chew on bubblegum. It was also Calum’s face of pure disgust that had you weak. 

“W-well, I just told her everything I’ve felt for her since the day we met,” Calum said, looking distantly away from the rest of you. He was rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly slouching. “And how much I’ve missed her and the feelings she gives me by her mere eyes, appearance, voice...” 

“I got that recorded in a tweet,” Ashton said, his face serious as he tapped on his phone. “What emojis should I put in it?” 

“Put the double pink hearts and the smoochy emoji,” Luke teased, chuckling as Calum jolted onto his feet and went for Ashton. Ashton quickly spun around and hopped off the counter as Calum jumped on it, in hopes of catching him. 

“You bastard, don’t post that!” Calum said angrily as he hopped off and chased Ashton upstairs. You were once more in the penthouse of a hotel, but this time there were only 4 rooms instead of 5. Although the shortage of space seemed worrisome, the boys agreed that two of them would share a room. Which duo, though, is beyond your knowledge. 

“So he finally confessed, eh?” Michael said as he crawled over to your side and nudged you. You blushed, nodding sheepishly as you stared down at the hand you held Calum’s hand with. “He’s so slow.” 

“And we even told him that you liked him,” Luke added from the bed. “How dense can that guy be?” 

“Apparently very,” Michael said as the two shared a laugh. “So anyway, you must feel way better now that he doesn’t see you as annoying.” 

“Mm, it’s much more relaxing,” you said with a nod. “I’m very happy now that I can actually have fun with all the boys again!” 

“Yeah, for sure!” Luke agreed as he reached over to ruffle your hair. Suddenly, Ashton ran in and crashed on the floor. He sent and hid behind you as Calum came into the room. He was panting and flushing, with his almond eyes dark from stress. 

“Ash, cut it out!” Calum growled as he walked closer to you. Ashton looked up at him, a bored expressed on his face as he gently rested his chin on your shoulder. “Do not tweet that!” 

“I already posted it when I was sat on the counter,” Ashton said with a yawn. “It’s been posted for like, 5 minutes now.” Calum looked horrified as he quickly fished out his phone, tapped on it a few times and then proceeded to fall to his knees. 

“I hate you so much,” Calum mumbled, dropped his head down as he let his phone slide from his hand in defeat. 

“It’s okay, Cal!” You quickly rushed to Calum as you sat up a bit and rested his head on your shoulder. Rubbing his back, you were surprised to feel him wrap his arms around you. 

“You smell so nice,” Calum mumbled against your neck as he gently left a kiss on it. You shivered a bit, your heart hammering your chest from the impact of his lips. “I can get addicted to it without worries since it’s you.” 

“God, you guys are so gross!” Luke let out, tossing around the bed to avoid looking at the two of you. “Get a room or something, yeah?” Calum scoffed before he let go of you and got back on his feet. He offered his hands out to you, giving you a reassuring smile before you took them and felt him lift you up. 

“Alright then,” Calum said quietly, holding your hand with his before guiding you to the door. 

“Where the fuck you two going?” Michael asked as Calum suddenly halted. You accidentally bumped his back from the sudden stop, having Calum chuckle before turning around to hug you. 

“We’re going shopping,” Calum said simply. “Since Y/N is coming to the party, I figured that we should get her something nice with a name that nobody can pronounce.” 

“Better not fuck her in a changing room or some shit,” Ashton began to scold. “She may be your girlfriend now, but that doesn’t stop her from being my cousin. I’ll beat you like an older brother would if you persuaded her to do some stupid shit like that.” You blushed at his audacious words as Calum rested his chin on your head. 

“Stop thinking the worst of me, Ash,” Calum said with a sigh before releasing you from his hug. He grabbed your hand once more and led you out of the suite. Before the door was slammed shut, Michael called out for a pair of Gucci glasses. 

“Are you getting something as well?” You asked Calum as you two were being driven in the 5SOS Jeep. It was the first time that all the boys weren’t in it. It was just you and the boy you’ve fallen for since you’ve met him. 

“Yes, actually,” Calum nodded as he took your hand in his. The two of you were sat in the middle seats of the car, only separated by a bit of space. “I want to look nice at the party, considering I haven’t seen these people in so long.” 

“Mm, I understand,” you say with a soft smile. Calum looked at you, a serious look on his face as he did. You couldn’t help but blush in confusion. “Wh-what’re you starin’ at?”

“You.” Your heart skipped a bit as Calum squeezed your hand. “Come here,” he whispered, having you quickly act. Unbuckling yourself, you stand up and go over to Calum. Immediately, Calum grabbed your waist and propped your down on his legs so that you could face him from your side. 

“S-satisfied now?” You stammered, your nerves building up as Calum nodded. 

“Very,” Calum mumbled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. The car then ran over a bump as you jumped in the air and landed on Calum’s legs again. You quickly wrapped your arms around Calum’s neck in fear of falling forward. “Don’t worry, baby. I have you,” Calum reassured as he pressed his face against your neck. 

“This is a suede, black, button-up shirt that comes in other colors,” a worker of this pretentious clothing store had begun as he offered Calum the folded shirt. You were sitting in a room reserved for the both of you as you watched Calum’s clothing choices. “But we know how fond you are of the shades of black and white.” 

“You know me well,” Calum said with a small smile as he unfolded the first and saw himself in the mirror while having the shirt over him. 

“We also have several stacks of black skinny jeans for you as well.” You giggled, having Calum glance over to you to give you a wide smile. You blushed at the sudden stare, looking away briefly before staring again. “I shall leave you to try on the clothing. Dressing rooms are to your left.” With that, the worker left the two of you as he went through the door and closed it.

Alone. 

“Y/N, d’you mind doing me a favor?” Calum asked as he didn’t leave his eyes from the mirror. You responded with a mere ‘mhm’ before he continued. “Can you pull the curtains closed behind you, please, love?” Your heart stopped the moment he called you ‘love’ as you started standing up. When you did, you saw a crowd of fans from outside the window, screaming with phones out. 

How did I not notice them? You thought as you noticed guards both outside and inside the shop by the doorway to ensure nobody was let in. You grabbed the silky, black curtains and yanked it over the windows, dimming the room slightly. Sitting back down, you blush a bit while looking down at your hands. 

“They probably took a ton of pictures of us just now...” you said with a whisper. “Is that bad?” Calum looked over and gave you a reassuring smile. Walking over to you, he bent down, grabbed your chin and planted a soft kiss on your lips. 

“It’s fine,” Calum said, still smiling as he tossed the new shirt to you. You caught it and felt it’s smooth texture. “I’m pretty sure they know about us now because of Ash, so it’s whatever. But I will announce it at the party. Is that okay with you?” 

“Mhm, definitely,” you say, feeling elated that you’re actually Calum’s girlfriend. It didn’t matter if you guys had to keep it hush, but the fact that he wants to flaunt about it just makes you smile even more. 

“I’m glad they’re not looking at us anymore, though,” Calum said with a low voice. Your eyes widened a bit as Calum grabbed the hem of his shirt and began to peel it off of his body. You watched in temptation, having Calum toss his shirt to the side and let out a sigh. 

Your eyes were introduced to his bare, side profile. Calum was very thin, but his toned body allowed you to see his small abs defined with ease. His pecks popped out fairly well as you began falling in love with the ink dented in his skin by the collarbones. They shined by the lights of the room, further defining the dark-caramel skin by color contrast. And, of course, you were happily given the sight of his biceps and muscles, also licked with tattoos of their own. 

Calum was just, all in all, a very attractive man. 

“Take a photo, it’ll last longer,” Calum teased. You rolled your eyes while still holding his new shirt.

“But this moment will stay in my mind forever,” you whispered, smiling up at the Maori boy. His lips dropped a bit, with them slightly parted to see the darkness in his mouth. His brown eyes stared at you with this incredible intensity and infatuation. He began walking towards you, biting down on his bottom lip harshly as under the teeth, the flesh became more red. 

“C’mere and let me kiss you.” With your heart stopping, your body immediately acts as you stand up and walk over to the shirtless man. Immediately, he grabs your waist and pulls your body against his. He smashed his lips against yours, having you close your eyes once you saw his fluttered shut. 

This moment meant everything to you. Calum’s warm lips kept sucking on your bottom one as he swallowed up your quiet moans. You felt his warm tongue rub along your bottom lip from time to time until he finally had enough. His tongue parted your lips and entered your mouth, having you pleasantly surprised once your tongue met up with his. 

“Mfh, Y/N...” he moaned against your lips, feeling the vibrations dance all over your mouth. Your hands were becoming sweaty against Calum’s built pecks as the momentum was only picking up from here. His big hands began rubbing down to your bum, struggling immensely to slip through your jeans. But he managed, pulling down your pants slightly in the process. 

“Mm-!” You reacted in surprise as he gave your ass an abrupt squeeze. He loved that reaction and sought out for more. With the grip on your ass, he pressed your crotch more against his. He was hard, having him moan loudly in your mouth when he did the impact. He quickly stopped the kiss, saliva streaming down both your lips. 

“I can’t believe I finally get to do this to you,” Calum whispered as he looked at you. You were panting heavily, with your chest heaving quickly and your cheeks completely rosy. You couldn’t even deny your hormones nor hide your shyness as you were already displaying both. But, you didn’t care so long as it was Calum. 

“I-I can’t believe it’s happening to me, either, so...” you whispered, your eyes locked with his as he still held you. 

“Let’s go over here, love.” Calum quickly retrieved his hands from your ass before guiding you over to the mirror. “I want to show you who I love so much and how she puts me like this.” 

“O-okay...” You agreed, blushing as you stood in front of the mirror. Calum went behind you, placing his head gently on your shoulder as the two of you looked at you. It made you wonder what exactly Calum liked in you regarding looks as you didn’t think you were the most gorgeous thing. 

“Keep your eyes on you in that mirror, okay?” Calum spoke in your ear, feeling the heat of his breath against your earlobe. “Can you do that for me, darling?” 

“I can do anything so long as you’re here,” you responded, getting a lip bite from Calum. 

“Fuck, I adore you.” Quickly, he latched his lips against your neck while snaking his hands under your shirt. He rubbed your bare belly, feeling his callouses up and down your smooth skin. You moaned from how harshly he sucked on your skin, feeling the tip of his tongue at a constant as he sucked. He then grabbed the hem of your shirt and brought it up above your chest. “Can you hold this up for me, Y/N? Just above your boobs.” 

“Mhm.” Obeying, you bent your arms to hold your shirt up to reveal your torso. Calum snaked his hands up right on top of your white, lacy bra. He began to rub what he believed to be your nipples through the threaded garment. You brought your head back in euphoria, feeling heat rise up in your flower as he barely made contact with your skin. 

“Damn, I love those sounds,” Calum growled against your neck. Suddenly, he slipped his hands through your the bottom of your bra. Rough skin was met with your petite buds, having the rush start to make them perk. Calum began groping your breasts, having you sigh in pleasure as he massaged them. 

“F-fuck, Cal-um...” You let out, feeling your mouth go dry. He took both of your nipples between his thumbs, middle, and index fingers as he pulled on them graciously. He twisted the small buds between his fingers, sending all sorts of pleasant nerves all over your breasts and body. It was impossible to keep your eyes on what he was doing because your head kept going back in pure delight. 

“I want to see these beautiful things.” Calum slipped his hands off of your breasts and walked over to be in front of you. He indulged at the sight of you, your face flush and completely horny for him. He then diverted his eyes to your breasts as he lifted the bra cups to your upper chest. Your breasts fell freely, bouncing a few times before hanging motionless. Your nipples were perked and hard, having you blush as Calum became entranced by them. 

He wasted no time. Bending down, he took your left breast politely and took the nipple in his mouth. You bit down on your bottom lip to keep from moaning loudly, but it was evident that you struggles. You kept repeating your lovers name as he swiped his tongue along your pink bud. With one hand holding onto your thigh, he used the free one to play with your right breast. Before he could give much attention to the right breast, a knock was heard against the door of the room. 

“Mr. Hood?” A worker called out. The two of you stayed put, turning your head over to stare at the door. Calum simply looked over with his eyes as his hot mouth was still on your mound. “If I may, we have put out a few outfits for Mrs. Hood to try on as well for your social gathering.”

“Thank you very much!” Calum called out, a bit of saliva connected his lips and your breast. “Please give me a moment.” Calum gave your right breast a quick peck before you pulled down your bra and adjusted your breasts into them. Letting your shirt go, you watch as Calum stands up straight again and pulls your body against his. 

“I... um, wow...” You stammered, your voice barely audible. You met with Calum’s eyes as he cupped your flushed cheeks with his hand. 

“It’s a good thing you covered the windows, baby,” Calum said, giving you a kiss on the forehead. The butterflies only got worse in your tummy as you weakly wrapped your arms around his torso. 

“Y-yeah, good thing,” you say shyly, blushing more as Calum pulls you in for a kiss. You felt Calum’s love with everything he’s done to you. With the kisses, the hand holding, the body admiration-- he was everything you wanted for him to be. 

“Go get your clothing and come back so we can try clothes together,” Calum whispered, giving you one more kiss on your nose before letting you go. As you turned around and prepared to walk away from Calum, he spanks you on your left butt cheek. 

“Calum!” You exclaim, holding your butt while leaving the room with Calum’s entertained laughter. 

smut is wanted? smut shall be implemented! as always, please tell me whatcha think right over here. this series makes me so happy to write, i love the support of it and the encouragement on my writing. makes me really happy, guys, seriously :) x

[lovehelpmewrite]

“A friend Steve; you have one of those right? Big guy? Metal arm?”

Title: "A friend Steve; you have one of those right? Bug guy? Metal arm?"

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader starring OFC!Ari, miscellaneous police cars

Word count: 2,038

Summary: tbh I don't even really remember, Steve and the reader are running from HYDRA and happen upon an old friends house where implied smut ensues I guess???

Warnings: A bloody nose, very slight fight scene, very light smut, smut implied, a lot of fluff and joking Steve

[A/N]: This is my fic for Bethtastic’s 6k follower challenge ( @not-moose-one-shots  ) It’s also my first published Steve fic. Please enjoy, and feedback is greatly appreciated (good or bad feedback)

We ran down the empty suburban streets, dodging the spotlights of helicopters and trolling “police” cars. I spotted the house just as a helicopter above us switched on its spotlight. I grabbed Steve’s hand and tugged him as hard as I could to the right, towards the house. I pulled him with me to the sliding glass door I knew was in the back and slid it open, thankful that it was unlocked like she’d said it would be. 

As soon as we stepped inside I closed and locked the door and pulled the blinds down over the glass. We both stood there breathing heavily for a minute, me longer than Steve. He looked around the grand kitchen that we’d stepped into. It was exceptionally nice, humongous, and well stocked. 

“What are we doing here? What if the owner comes down and finds us here?” Steve asked, his voice low as I walked towards the pantry. 

“Don’t worry about it, she’s a friend and she isn’t even here; she’s in Mexico City.“ 

“A friend?” He asked. 

“Someone who won’t mind us staying in her house for a few days while we hide out, a friend Steve; you have one of those right? Big guy, metal arm?” I joked, jumping up onto the kitchen counter and eating a few grapes out of the nearby fruit bowl. Steve let himself smile for a minute before looking around. 

“I’m going to go find a bathroom and shower and then we can talk about getting away from those guys.” I nodded in response and watched his pert ass sway in his tight jeans as he walked away. I kissed my teeth just as he left the room, crossing my legs and leaning back on my hand against the countertop. 

“Damn shame…” I whispered, popping another grape into my mouth. Suddenly, the sound of a punch landing and the quiet click of a gun’s hammer being pulled back echoed around the room. 

Steve backed into the kitchen once more, one hand up as he stared at whoever had the gun and the other hand holding a bloody nose. I was off the countertop in an instant, pressing myself to the wall next to the doorway to the kitchen, ready to take down whoever had the gun. As soon as the gun and hands of the person came into view I jumped forward, pushing their arms up as they fired before bringing my leg behind theirs and pushing them to the floor before I knelt quickly and pressed a knee to their throat. 

As soon as I saw who it was I jumped off and threw myself back against the wall. “Jesus Ari, you scared the shit out of me!” I exclaimed. She sat up and rubbed the front of her neck and upper chest. 

“Jesus, you couldn’t say hi before crushing my throat with your knee?” She mocked back. I stood, putting out a hand and pulling her up with me. Steve stood off to the side staring at the both of us, his blood slowly dripping onto his shirt and the floor. 

“You couldn’t have chosen a different house?” Steve asked, finally gaining my and Ari’s attention. I smiled, letting a small laugh escape my lips. 

“Sorry, Ari, this is Steve, Steve, this is my friend Ari,” I introduced. 

“Sorry, I….I thought that you were Hydra, or some government agent coming to look for her or me or something,” Ari apologized. 

“It’s okay, I think Y/N thought the same of you,” Steve joked, managing a smile even with blood dripping off his chin. 

“Alright well, why don’t you two go upstairs and get cleaned up, again, sorry Steve. The bedroom with the big shower is upstairs and to the left, end of the hall,” Ari explained, “Try not to get too much blood on my carpet please, use a towel or something; and stay safe!” she called after us, winking at me as soon as Steve was turned around. 

Steve trudged his way up the double flight of stairs using the bottom of his shirt to staunch the flow of blood from his face until he could find a towel. He gestured ahead of him when we finally reached the door and I swung it open easily, passing by the 5-star hotel worthy room for the equally beautiful bathroom for a towel. I reached into Ari’s bathroom closet full of plush white towels and grabbed one before walking back into the bedroom, watching Steve be in awe of such luxury. I chuckled and threw the towel at his chest, not surprised when he still caught it, even in his dazed state. 

“The awe will wear off in a little while, in the meantime, I’m gonna shower and you can deal with your bloody nose.” I quickly turned on my heal before I caught myself staring at him again, shutting the bathroom door quietly behind me. I leaned against it a second and let out a slow breath before pushing off of it and grabbing 2 fluffy towels out of the closet and throwing them over the side of the clear glass encased shower. I slowly peeled off my sweat and dirt covered shirt, followed by my pants which pulled slightly at the still scabbing scar tissue on my thigh from a previous mission. 

The sensation of my pants being stuck to the wound with dried blood and having to pull it off was less than pleasurable and needless to say, I was glad to finally get my old bra and cotton panties off and get into the spacious shower. I stepped to the side of the showerhead as I turned it on, not wanting to brave the cold water as it warmed up. 

When I was finally under the tranquil pounding of the steaming water I let all the tension built up in my muscles start to melt away. I turned my back to the water, letting the powerful water pressure beat away at the muscles in my shoulders until they relaxed on my body once again. I helped myself to the assorted shower items sitting on a ledge in the shower, gently lathering the lavender shampoo into my scalp and sighing as I finally felt relaxed for the first time in days. As I let the shampoo sit in my hair I took the sea salt infused body wash and washing my upper body, taking care to wash away any leftover grime from the mission with Steve. I let myself enjoy the entire shower experience, even shaving my underarms and legs with a razor that was sitting on the shelf of shower items. Halfway through rinsing my conditioner out, there was a small knock on the door. 

“Come in,” I answered, glad the steam of the shower covered the glass of the shower when I recognized Steve’s frame step into the bathroom. 

“Ari said there would be clothes and a hairbrush and whatnot in this bag so I’m just bringing it in here for you, it’s on the counter.” I smiled, even when I couldn’t fully make him out I could see the quiet awkwardness that was Steve Rogers. 

“Thanks, I’ll be out in a few,” I answered back, not keeping the relaxedness of my body out of my voice. He just murmured a small 

“Okay,” before leaving the bathroom, the soft click of the door signaling his exit. I let myself stand under the warm stream for a few more seconds before sighing and shutting the water off. I wrapped one towel around my hair after wringing it out and wrapped one around my body. 

I shivered for a second as the cold air outside the shower hit my skin before quickly drying all the remaining water off of my body and reaching in the back Ari had put together for me. Expecting the normal cotton panties I normally wore I reached around the bag surprised to pull out a pair of black lacy boy shorts followed by a black, sheer, unlined bra with the same lace around the edges. “Goddammit Ari,” I whispered. 

I slipped on the undergarments anyways, not willing to get back into the sweaty, dirty, mess that was my under clothes from before. The underwear was followed by nothing other than a large men’s t-shirt that reached just below my butt. I sighed knowing what Ari was trying to do and just gave up fighting it. Who knows, perhaps something good would come out of it. I reached into the bag and retrieved a bottle of lotion, smoothing it over my legs and body before finally shaking my hair free of the towel on my head and brushing it. I used the given deodorant and closing the bag before giving myself one last once-over in the mirror, shrugging and then opening the door. 

I threw the bag into the nearest chair and watched Steve open his eyes from on his place laying on the bed. 

“Hey…” Steve trailed, watching my every move as I made my way over to the bed. I ran the last few feet and threw myself onto the bed, landing on my side. I smiled up at him before wrinkling my nose at him. 

“You should really shower.” He let out a small laugh, getting up and grabbing a bag of his own that Ari had no doubt filled with an old boyfriend’s clothes. Steve’s shower lasted significantly shorter than I’m sure mine did, not even allowing me enough time to fall asleep. 

As Steve stepped out of the bathroom, steam billowing around him in only a pair of boxers I was sure you could see the change in my face from tired to completely turned on. He seemed to not understand the fact that I wasn’t used to seeing so much of him; his strong chest, his thick thighs, his bulging biceps… 

“The shirt didn’t fit so I guess I’ll be sleeping in this,” he explained, throwing his bag in the chair with mine before laying back down on the bed facing me on his side. 

“That’s a real shame,” I managed to get out. Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“The shirt, I mean.” He nodded, his eyes searching my face carefully. 

“Is it?” 

“Hmm?” I asked back, not fully comprehending his speech when he was this close and this shirtless. 

“Is it really a shame Y/N? Cause you don’t seem too upset by it,” Steve said, a slow grin working onto his face. “What do you really think?” He continued, staring into my eye challengingly. 

“I think,” I started, swallowing and trying to gain back my words. “I think that I haven’t gotten to see this much of you very often and it’s pretty damn amazing. I think I want to definitely make out with you but if you don’t want to that’s complete-” I got cut off by Steve’s lips pressing softly to mine. 

I lost myself in the kiss, not even noticing when he had moved so he laid back against the headboard and I sat in his lap. My hands traveled of their own accord, pressing my fingertips into his shoulders before grasping at the hairs at the back of his neck. His hands roamed over my back and down my sides, over my waist and hips before settling on my upper thighs. We both groaned aloud as I pressed my hips down onto him, breaking the kiss to breathe and press our foreheads together. 

Suddenly there was the sound of something moving over the carpet near the door. We both looked to see a condom laying just under the edge of the door, Ari’s voicing ringing on the other side of the wooden door. 

“Be safe!” And then the soft pat-pat of her feet running away quickly. I let out a soft laugh, closing my eyes and dropping my head into Steve’s neck.

“You could have chosen a different house,” He said quietly. 

“Shut up.”