#i think I'm going to get drunk and watch Saltburn.

[lovelaceisntdead]

On my own for nye tomorrow who wants to come over

[themoonchildwhofell]

all my ghosts

pairing: Farleigh Start x reader

content/warnings: fluff (im so sorry guys), pretty fast paced lol

summary: HC of a healthy farleigh x reader relationship (thank fucking god)

note: really wanted to write farleigh finding a nice partner that helps him with his trauma lol. possibly post saltburn. I'm so sorry my dudes. I really am a sucker for fluff! still based off of a Lizzy Mcalpine song.

"'Cause I hate all of my habits but I happen to love you."

Farleigh met you at a 7/11 near the place he works at. He's pretty bummed about not having to go to Oxford as well as fully disconnecting from the old life he had.

It was exactly July 11th. He remembered because you got a free slurpie at the convenient store.

You looked good for someone who was staying up due to an exam. You finally decided to claim that free slurpie they had since sugar wakes you up.

Farleigh, on the other hand, was just exploring the place. He didn't really want to stay at his mum's place. So he decided to get his own place.

He didn't really want to go out that night. It was a not-so-impulsive decision due to the fact that his case of cigarettes were all out.

The fluorescent lights weren't really giving you justice. As well as the bags under your eyes but who cares? You really need to pass this math exam tomorrow.

He approached you being the extrovert that he is and asked for your name and number. His excuse was to tour him around since it was his first time back at the States. (he was already living there for 3 weeks)

You agreed to tour him around. Praying that he wasn't a murderer of some sort.

You two went out the very next day to "tour" him around. At the end of the day, he did ask if this was a date.

"No. But maybe we can set a proper one?" you suggested.

He liked that. It means he gets to see you again.

Months pass and you both seem to connect really well.

The relationship progresses to you both being a couple.

Everything felt great. There was the usual fights, of course. I mean Farleigh is kind of a diva. You expected him to be annoying at times.

But most of the time, he's the loveliest.

It's the same with Farleigh as well. He loves your company. You make him feel good and sane. Especially after all the loss he experienced.

There are times that he feels like you're too good for him especially with all the baggage he has. All the trauma from Saltburn and his cousins passing.

These trauma did manifest some bad habits that he's actively fighting. But it helps him when he thinks that he might have a lot of ghosts with him haunting every piece of him left in Saltburn; He still has you.

Dates with him are always unpredictable. You both tried to do cocktails once at his apartment but failed. You both decided to just drink the wine and eat all the fruit.

You also tried cooking. Which was fun and messy. But the mac and cheese was good. He was really convinced that he could make a better mac and cheese than Gordon Ramsey. You giggled at how adorable he was and agreed. That night ended in a sink full of dirty dishes, slow dancing to Master & A Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov and tiny sweet kisses.

Sometimes, you both try clubbing. But end up going home early to just drink at home and watch some movie or have sex.

You both tried to finish two bottles of brandy one time.

"You really think you can beat me at drinking?" Farleigh smirked.

"Fuck! I'm 3 shots deep, my boy. And I feel sober." You we're not. You both didn't finish the bottles of brandy. And he had to carry you to bed.

"You know... I'm pretty drunk right now. But I really love you, Farleigh. You and all your ghosts." You passed out right after. He did say he loved you too. But he'll probably just repeat it once you both are sober. That was the first time you both said I love you.

You had the realization that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with him one Saturday morning. You both we're on the couch watching Bluey. You made him watch Bluey because at first he didn't want to since it's a kids show. But he saw the one episode with Chili and it really stuck with him.

He was laughing at a particular scene when he said. "I think we're like them. Chili and Bandit."

You stared at him. "Yeah. I guess so." It kinda dawned on you how compatible you both are. How you can live like this for the rest of your life.

He had the realization that he wanted to marry you the time you we're at his mom's home celebrating Christmas. You were helping with decorating the tree. He decided to quickly grab the star at the top of the cupboard in the hallway. While going back to the living room, he saw you sweaty, with your tongue out and concentrating on placing the lights on the tree. He realized he has never felt happier than that exact moment. He would love to spend every christmas decorating trees with you.

[zalrb]

Saltburn Review (per anon request)

So, I ultimately decided to watch it because I'm working on something with dark academia vibes and I saw people say it was more of a parallel with The Secret History than most contemporary books, and some peers of mine said the movie was very literary-coded and compared it to The Talented Mr. Ripley (which I didn't actually care for that much, tbh, but it's been years since I've read it) and Brideshead Revisited and I know the director said that Rebecca was a huge influence. So, I watched it.

I can see what they mean; I can see how it's literary coded, it's definitely got the vibes, there were definitely shots that had me like this

this

is what I want to capture when I write so on an aesthetic level, I appreciated the vibes. I appreciated the irony of certain scenes

because it brought me right back to being in my program at columbia and the rich, white boys fist pumping to rap and beatboxing during the party portion of our program's events and me just turning around and walking away and being like, I'm not nearly drunk enough to endure this, I'm going to the bar or I'm going home.

So, that was cool.

When it comes to movie's topic or themes, to the portrayal and exploration of obsession and yearning and the dark places those things can take you, it made me wonder if I'm ever convinced by movies about obsession.

Because Barry Keoghan is a great actor (The Banshees of Inisherin!!!) even though I think he was ... not miscast but he looked too old for the role in my opinion -- and we definitely see things that showcase Barry's obsession -- he literally had sex with Felix's grave (which apparently was improvised??), all the other weird sex stuff, the lying, the manipulating, the stalking

he wants to be Felix, he wants to be the Cattons,

I get that in principle.

And yet I didn't feel what I find to be necessary to drive home the consuming nature of obsession, which is the sense of being consumed? It was too cold, too removed/distant, and part of it is because it's supposed to be sort of a reveal but it's also not, like the lengths he'll go to sort of unravels throughout the movie but we're supposed to see from the jump how enamoured he is and then sort of how creepy he is and then sort of how unhinged he is and then ultimately how violent he is and that progression is there, for sure, but again, I don't really feel aligned with Oliver for me to really live in that progression.

Like, I think the movie actually does it better with Farleigh and maybe it's because as the American character, we're more aligned with his emotions as opposed to Oliver where we kind of just see what he does and his actions alone are meant to showcase his obsessive nature. With Farleigh, we see the desperation, the way he needles at and bullies Oliver, and exerts what little power he has over making his life miserable, the way he's at the centre but also on the fringe

like when Venetia calls Oliver a moth, I think we actually see what that would feel like and what that would look like with Farleigh more, they toss him aside, they bring him back,

and I get this is supposed to be another avenue to show the class dynamics (while at the same time, the sort of nod to the racial dynamics of the whole situation felt more perfunctory than an actual acknowledgement but frankly, I don't really expect more from white directors so I just kind of shrugged) but I thought it was done with more immediacy and passion than the central plot.

My favourite parts of the movie were definitely Carey Mulligan and Rosamund Pike, they were peak comedy. I could not stop laughing at these scenes

and my favourite part is probably the lunch after Felix's murder

all in all, I liked it better than I thought that I would but I didn't find it to have the depth or the gravity that people would lead me to believe it had, it felt a tad too ... superficial is harsher than what I mean but it's not memorable for me, I'll forget this soon.

[greenb0i]

January 2024

I'm back. Self hateing can be a bitch, but i want to try go back to this. thx for reading!

Movies

SaltBurn (2023) Dir. Emerald Fennell

I watched this movie high and drunk on New Year, and I think it added to it the wried factor that the flim proudly wants to see as. Thought a month after watching and being able to actully sit on what the movie was trying to say, as well as all the discouse that came with it, i would have to say it only an ok movie. I did like how he movie look and many of the actor gave good performace, but like other then, it felt like the movie never went far enogh with it idea it wanted to present and more or less felt like it was following the trend of eat the rich movie rather then actully haveing anything to say about the ideas of wealth. And beacuse of that muddling of themes the outrangeuose scenes that the movie dose present, they come off less like an exploration of themes and more like they got together and was like "Omg wouldn't it be crazy if x did that" 4/10 (also highly recomomed Yhara Zayd video on the movie, )

Tick Tick Boom(2021) Dir. Lin-Manuel Miranda

I rewatched this moive with friend and i still pretty good. Alot of the songs are really good especially the last, I think it the best one in the soundtrack. Not much else to say 7/10

Shows

Pokemon Concierge (2023)

This show was so cute. It was just something light that i would put on while eating breckfast before work. I mainly watch it for the anmation as I it by the same people who did the Rilakkuma and Kuora, which is another light sweet show I enjoyed! Over all, it very short sweet and cute! (6/10)

Better Call Saul (2015) S1

I really like breaking bad and as well as El Comino as think both are so good are exploreing the idea of manhood. But dispit me love both of those i've always put off watching better call saul, mostly because back when the frist season came out I hear it was only ok. After watching it I did think I was very intriguing but also kinda slow, which I kinda get why, it seem that there setting up alot for the later season, but I still found a bit of slog to get thought in comparsion to breaking bad. But i also really am interested in the ideas of justitce and the law which they seems to be setting up. Thought with the last episode of the seson I kinda just thought it was ok, like oh that it? I am looking forward to watching the other season but I am no real rush to watch it (7/10)

Books

I Don't Which Is Love by Tamamushi Oku

I'm trying to read more manga, and i saw people talk about this on tik tok and thought it was very cute and it was......ok? It was kinda cute?? I thought I would like it since it yuri but i think the harme part of it ruin it and relised i hate harme no matter what gender, which is more of me not liking a trope rather then there being actul anthing wrong with the manga. Over all it was fine, very cute art, i dont think it's for me (2/5)

The Bunker Diary by Kevin Brooks

Omg this fucking book. It been on my tbr for years and I read it in two session and thought it was very good dispit being a book aimed at like 14 year old and I say If i was 14 I would be traumatised by reading this. I like how dark the story was and how it wasn't afraid to hold back from any subject which I general do like in media aimed towards children and teens. I would recommend it if you want to read something easy while still being interesting (4/5)

Songs I love:

Mama Boy-Dominic Fike

Dear Diane- Diners

Tom's Diner-Suzanne Vega

I Love You- Fontaines D.C.

Kites- N.E.R.D (Kendrick Lamar, MIA)