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rampagingfanfictioner14 · 3 months ago

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relativity falls, but... (Part 2.5)

I realize that I've kinda been straying from the original relativity falls au with a random Bill, lol. I think my idea for him is really going into an AU, so I'll make it separate from this post. @canadianno-gravityfalls mentioned that some people swap gideon and bill as the main antagonist, but honestly I'm not sure I could give the idea justice! I've never been good at writing gideon. The concept definitely has some merit, though. For the sake of this post I've decided to just stick Bill as Bill, but that's subject to change.

Anywho, I've got a dozen brainworms squirming around inside my head and they want out. Continuing on from the last post:

In his sleep, Mason encounters a strange triangle-shaped creature. Bill Cipher, it introduces, with a voice that seems both eerie and cool at the same time. He does overreact a teensy bit at the thing's appearance, but once the screaming wears off, he settles somewhat. Initially, he actually wonders aloud if he was just dreaming this interaction up to make up for the failed summoning attempt.

Bill's quick to assure him that no, he's definitely real, and that Mason's in luck! Bill's here to tell him the secrets of Gravity Falls... and quite possibly the universe too, if he wants.

"So, whaddya say, kid? Wanna shake on it?"

A hand lights up with blue fire, thrust forward as an offering.

Mason frowns at it.

"It's a simple agreement," Bill entices, waving it closer. "A mutual understanding, if you will! Think of all the mysteries you could uncover! Wouldn't that be nice?"

Something about the almost unnoticeable urgency in the triangle's voice sets off alarm bells in Mason's mind. The scientist raises an eyebrow, not buying a word of what the demon says. "...Sure," he drags out, pointedly keeping his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. "I bet you say that to all the smart people you meet. What's your deal, man?"

Bill's eye narrows. He doesn't appreciate Mason's open scepticism. Still, he's not one to give up so easily. He sighs dramatically and proclaims that he's the one who's inspired every major human pioneer; talking about his status as a "muse" and the whole shtick; probably saying something like: "just take a look at your dollar bill if you don't believe me, smart guy! I've been rubbing elbows with presidents before you were even a twinkle in your father's eye!"

Realization strikes. Mason frowns and holds up his hands in the universal gesture of wait. "Woah, hey, hang on. Let me get this straight. You say you're a muse, and you pick one great mind a century to inspire, right?"

Bill points a finger at him and mimics shooting a gun. "Got it in one!" He praises, inwardly bemoaning the fact that by Axo, he'd picked a slow one. Didn't he just say that?

Mason smiles, as if the demon had just confirmed something for him. "So you must've met Einstein! People don't get much smarter than that guy." He slaps his hand to his forehead as if just realizing something. "Oh, and Pavlov! Did you meet him, too?"

Ah, Bill thinks gleefully, gotcha.

"Sure I did, kid! What's your point?"

"My point is that they're both from the same century," Mason deadpans, his smile falling off his face. He crosses his arms over his chest. "So either one of them is secretly a time traveller, or you're feeding me a bunch of malarkey. Time to own up, you tricky little isoceles. What do you want with me?"

It's probably at this point that Bill realizes that the whole "inspirational muse from higher plane" thing isn't going to work with the cynical lil shit that is Mason Pines.

So he switches gears.

"I thought you might catch on to that!" He cackles. He mimics swiping sweat off his brow in relief and circles Mason, glowing a bright yellow. "Sorry, sorry, I just had to check, y'know? Can't tolerate those gullible types."

Mason raises an eyebrow.

Bill continues, unbothered. He subtly shifts through a couple of Mason's memories, picking through his deepest insecurities, his fears, his losses. He wants to know what makes this smartass tick.

And aha! There he had it.

A twin sister. The fallen star to Mason's constellation.

At first he doesn't let his true knowledge show. He knows that Mason would instantly get suspicious and shut him out entirely if he suspects that Bill has an ulterior motive. Instead, he starts up a casual conversation about anomalies, showing the man a few of the things he'd seen over the course of his long life. He tries to keep the more mind-melty stuff off limits, because dang these humans were weak when it came to that sort of thing.

(Their silly concepts of morality and ethics were amusing to toy with, though).

Mason's still sceptical, but he's also a nerd. Especially about anomalies. He's initially hesitant to talk, but Bill has a way of coaxing people to do what he wants. And once Mason starts rambling, Bill sits back and enjoys the show.

Bingo.

Despite whatever Bill says, he does have an interest in what Mason's studying. Weirdness was his specialty, after all. And Gravity Falls was one of the weirdest places on Earth he'd seen.

They fall into a sort of routine. They see each other every time Mason falls asleep, they greet each other, and Bill bears witness to Mason's ramblings. It's somewhat amusing, listening to this brilliant foolish human go from talking about how the digestive system of a stomach-faced duck may function to something as mundane as his non-existent love life.

Bill listens to what the man has to say, and Mason realizes the demon's actually a pretty nice companion, who offers pretty sound advice, despite his concerning occasional homicidal tendencies.

Mason also realizes that dang, his social life must be absolute trash if his only friend was a literal geometric shape from some distant unknown dimension. Still, he's too much of an anxiety-ridden mess to keep contact with anybody from the town (except for very occasional calls with Soos and Candy), and even if he did, it's not like anyone would ever want to be near him.

How could they, when even his own twin sister had thrown him away?

So Mason does nothing to stop the blossoming friendship between man and triangle. After getting over his initial wariness with the guy, he enjoys it, even, having someone to banter with. Whenever he's with Bill, Mason feels calm. Happy, even. He feels that, just for a few precious, wonderful moments, he could forget about Mabel and ignore the crippling depression that dragged him down every day.

(It helps that Bill's just generally making himself as unthreatening as possible).

"After all, I'm just a triangle," Bill reasons. "What am I gonna do? I can't even leave your dreams."

He has a point, of course. Mason believes him.

The routine continues without a hitch. Mason thinks he might as well have known this guy for most of his life, with all the time they spent together. How long had it been since he read that spell? A few months? A year? It seemed like forever ago.

"Say," Bill says one day, "it's seems almost like destiny that a guy like you is studying this town."

Mason pauses from his most recent rant about the Hawktopus, a fickle creature that irritated him simply by existing. A bunch of gold-blue journals floated in the starry space that was his mindscape (as Bill had explained previously), the backdrop of the Big Dipper illuminating their surroundings. "...Huh?"

Bill floats closer, his hands locked behind his back. "I mean, you've got an anomaly of astronomical odds right there on your forehead, and you never once thought about what it means?"

The scientist rubs the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly. "No, I... It's just a birthmark," he tries to explain. "Nothing much to study. Just a big coincidence. A really, really big coincidence."

Bill bursts out laughing. "Haha! You don't really believe that, do you, Dipper?"

Mason stiffens at the nickname, just like he'd known he would. Bill thinks he needs to tread carefully from now on.

"...Dipper?" The scientist repeats, his voice going flat. "Why'd you call me that?" He's knows that the triangle's fond of random nicknames (to the point where he actually suspects he's forgotten his name), so doesn't instantly get suspicious, but his walls slowly start coming up anyway.

(Never let it be said that this man is not paranoid).

"Eh, it's not like it's a hard name to come up with," Bill dismisses. "You've got the Big Dipper practically seared into your skin, kid!" His eye widens comically. "What, don't you like it? I thought you humans were fond of that sort of thing."

He floats closer, almost pressing against the man. His eye scrutinizes the man with a gaze that feels entirely too sharp. "You look upset. What's the problem, Mason?" He pointedly doesn't use the nickname again, his eye blinking slowly, as if confused.

It makes something uncomfortable tighten in Mason's chest.

He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and answer the question.

"Uh, nothing."

It's just a stupid name, Mason grumbles to himself. Why was he being weird about it? Bill's right. He's just being petty. There's no way that someone else wouldn't be able to connect the dots (literally) and give him the same nickname as... y'know.

But Mabel had come up with it first. It didn't feel right.

Mason shrugs and avoids Bill's gaze, picking absently at his shirt. "I just didn't expect it, I suppose. I stopped going by that name a pretty long time ago."

If Bill had a mouth, it would be stretched wide into a self-satisfied grin. "Why?" He inquires innocently.

...And everything spirals from that moment onwards.

Bill takes advantage of Mason's emotional vulnerability whenever he talked about his lost twin sister. He uses the man's childhood nickname, Dipper, deliberately to make him subconsciously trust him more (i.e. like he did with Ford, calling him 'Sixer').

He knows that he needs to deal with this gently: one wrong move, and he could lose this potential pawn forever. He offers reassurances and calms the scientist's anxious mind down; a steadying presence in the wake of a crushing disaster.

And Mason laps it up.

Much like how the teens manipulated Mabel, Bill manipulates Mason. He's not above prying into the man's deepest fears and making them a "reality" in the form of nightmares, appearing only at the end as the only comforting presence, forcing Mason to rely on him for emotional support. He needs Bill to calm his mind down, to stop the spiralling thoughts in his head from getting any louder.

Bill finds that Mason's surprisingly easy to manipulate once his twin was brought into the equation. The shooting star seemed to influence her constellation's actions even after she'd burned away.

And Bill finds it pathetic. A scientist as smart as Mason, still longing after a bootleg, girl version of him who'd flounced out of his life a long time ago.

Yeesh. Talk about emotional issues.

Mason doesn't make the connection between his nightmares and Bill. He assumes the recent surge in terrors is due to him finally opening about Mabel after years of keeping it shut tightly in a box at the back of his mind. So he welcomes Bill's comfort when the terrors finally fade, and only falls deeper into the trap laid by the crafty lil triangle.

Unlike Ford and Bill, who had this whole "god-like" relationship between each other, Mason and Bill's is... well, far more personal, for lack of a better word. Bill's the closest thing that Mason has to a true friend. And to Bill, well... he's Bill. He's never not going to see Mason as a means to get what he wants, but perhaps there's some misplaced sense of affection in there as well. Something like what a human might feel when they look at a small, defenceless furry animal.

Cute, sure. Maybe even lovable. It helps that the guy's as weird as they come.

But not smarter. Not better.

Nothing but a pet.

There's no talk about "muses from a higher plane" or "a scientist who's going to change the world", though Bill does try to goad Mason into thinking that his birthmark is destiny calling him to Gravity Falls, for a higher purpose.

Mason's nonexistent sense of self esteem kinda goes against that, though. The guy's initially very hesitant to believe he's something special, brushing off Bill's offhanded comments at underhanded attempts at praise.

But... after a bit, he actually does fall for it. Not immediately, no: maybe after a year or so.

(Dipper as a character isn't incorrigible. If Bill gives him no reason to doubt his intentions, then why would he? He's not paranoid enough to listen to some random thousand-year-old warnings when the "demon" was being so nice to him. Not without the journals or the mantra of "trust no one" to influence his thoughts, which is where most of canon-Dipper's wariness stemmed from. Imagine having no-one to properly talk to for years, and this one guy shows up and listens to you. He doesn't judge, he doesn't complain. He's the only rock in your constantly changing world, the only thing left to rely on when you spiral, the only friend you have. Who wouldn't fall for his tricks?)

Remember, Mason's not as detached from his twin as Ford is. He misses Mabel, misses her so much that it physically hurts him to think about her for too long. If there's anything that could distract him from the gaping hole in his heart, of course he's going to chase after it.

Nobody likes feeling all terrible and depressed all the time. No one likes remembering their losses, especially with no closure to what had happened.

So, in the end, despite having a different relationship to Bill and Ford in canon, ultimately the results are the same.

Mason builds a portal for Bill. Why wouldn't he? The triangle's assured him that they could make it stable, and Mason's nothing but too curious for his own good. Plus, maybe he'll actually have a physical form of Bill to interact with for once. Soos and Candy were great, but Mason's never truly gotten along with either of them much.

Sure, Soos was a great guy. He was smart and funny and always looked out for Mason when it became clear he was burning out. And Candy... well, she was a genius. Great with engineering, great with children, but not so much other adults. At least they shared that one thing in common.

But Mason knows he can't call on them to help with the portal he was making. They'd drifted apart after all those years, to the point where he wasn't even aware of where they lived. Plus, it had become clear throughout their years of university that Soos was far too accident-prone for all his skills, and last he heard, Candy had a family to tend to --- not to mention that asking for her help would involve an actual conversation, and he's really unsure if he could talk normally without Bill to calm him down.

(...The guy's really gotten far too dependent on that triangle. Yeah, that's gonna end well, huh? >:))

So, the problem arises: how can Mason build a fully functioning interdimensional portal if he has neither the skill nor the muscles necessary?

Bill offers up a solution: "Wouldn't everything be so much easier if I talked to them instead?"

Mason waves a hand dismissively, still pacing in his mindscape, the light from the Big Dipper's stars casting a soft glow on his face. He doesn't even cast the triangle a glance as he ponders over his latest problem. "You know you can't, Bill. You're stuck in my mind, remember?"

Bill hums, his eye widening in amusement. "Sure, but I've got powers like nothing you've ever seen, slick! Howsabout we make a deal, eh, Dipper?" In an eerie parallel to when they'd first met, he thrusts forward a flaming blue hand, waggling his eyebrow enticingly. "I could take over your body for you, and we could be done with all those silly human talks before you could say 'Bill Cipher!' All you gotta do is shake my hand."

Mason hesitates, his hand reaching for the triangle's almost instinctively, before he draws it back. "You... You won't throw me off a cliff or something, right?" He asks apprehensively.

Bill laughs out loud, but it's in somewhat genuine tone that he replies, "Not even if I wanted to." He still needs a pawn, after all. It helps that Mason's rather adorable. Like a puppy.

Mason smiles in relief, and reaches forward, sealing his fate.

---

Not my au, not my characters, just my take on both! :)

Part 1

Part 2(prev)

Part 3(next)

#gravity falls #my take on relativity falls #dipper pines #relativity falls au #mabel pines #soos #apologies for the long wait #got a lil hung up on bill here lol #i'll upload mabel's side later #shes kinda hard to write atm #mystery twins

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clonerightsagenda · 1 year ago

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Another fun conversation I found while digging for those tidbits, this one about Maxwell and Pryce

Gill side note: while there is some exterior material to canon suggesting Pryce and Maxwell would Not get along it's very funny because how many steps from "I can rewrite a memory" and "experimenting on an AI unit to expand his capacity" is it really to hard-coding anxiety into an AI's personality matrix, and from there to scooping someone's brain out to replace it with a glorified RC rig Kat for real Gill this is unexplored territory people!! Kat I think Maxwell wants to believe she's an ethical AI scientist but when the rubber hits the road….she's not that different from Pryce Gill you'd rewrite them against their consent when you believe it's necessary just because your parameters for "when it's necessary" are narrower and less nakedly self-serving doesn't mean that isn't what's going on Kat I think she would see that as the 'kinder' option versus deleting Hera, but at the end of the day you're violating her consent when she was explicit that she'd rather die Gill you're still changing the building blocks of someone's identity based on what you believe is best for them against their explicit wishes not to Slippery Slope Argument but it would have been very fun to see Maxwell go off on Pryce and then have Pryce hit her upside the head with a devastating "we're not so different" speech Kat shame Maxwell didn't make it to s4 so she could be the restraining bolts and be like hm is this the inevitable slippery slope of my actions Still wonder how Maxwell thinks invented AI since she'd never heard of Pryce. was Cutter just like here's this cool tech. don't ask where it came from Kate I keep forgetting that… They don’t keep her secret, she co-published the DSSPPM Kat I guess that's true, it's possible she knew who Pryce was but just didn't recognize her Gill Maxwell: Surely, like all tech corporations, there is a large team of brilliant engineers who worked round the clock on this whose names will never be known in their lifetimes. The idea of the rock star genius entrepreneur is a myth. Dr Pryce: lol Kat actually no looking at the script, Pryce uses her name and Maxwell still asks who it is someone never read the survival manual Kate I can definitely imagine no one knows what Pryce looks or sounds like though Reclusive scientist And oh, huh Kat someone hearing Pryce talk for the first time: blorbo from my AI programs? Gill I mean how often do you pay attention to the authors of your Mandatory Corporate Reading Assignment Literature Also, side note; comms director Minkowski going ballistic on Alien Zombie Maxwell upon finding out she never even read the manual Kat Cutter: everyone kept complaining to me that 'oh your evil daughter killed and ate an intern' 'oh your evil daughter weaponized the microwave' like get over yourselves. now none of you get to see her there is canonically a separate si5 manual. Maxwell probably also didn't read that one Gill She’s like me, Re: the “Anything that’s actually important is something you learn while actually doing the job” attitude Kat Kepler: And you both read the SI5 manual correct Jacobi, deepest sigh of all: yes sir Maxwell sotto voice: kissass Maxwell had to read the fucking Bible as a child she's had enough of this shit Gill Apropos of nothing at all I am now imagining Pryce adding as an aside in an evil monologue “and also, I have prion disease” Kat Pryce: The rogue proteins keep dismantling my brain but I keep building it back together again faster Gill Goddard Futuristics rolls out a new treatment/preventative for prion disease Why did they make this? Don’t worry about it Kate “It’s for all those poor mad cows in England :) don’t worry about it :) “ Gill As in the alternative to “also I have prion disease” is “also one of my superpowers I invented for myself is immunity to prion disease. Do not ask why I did this or why it was needed.” Kat but yeah it's a shame even with alien zombie Maxwell she can't really have a Confront Your Dark Potential with Pryce bc Miranda's semi-confused about the whole thing Hera will just have to yell at her

Gill Alternatively you flip it. Build the narrative so that Miranda is like “oh my god is this what I was like??” And Maxwell goes “wait no you’re supposed to be my cautionary tale shadow archetype” Kat alien zombie Maxwell being perma-brainfogged due to the whole bullet to the head thing: man this sucks Miranda: I could probably try neural reconstructive surgery Maxwell: uh Hera: what :) does that idea bother you for some reason : ) i'm sure it would be fine : ) Hera briefly throwing behind Miranda 100% for the only time in her life Kate Maxwell and Miranda together would be. Nightmarish for Hera and an emotion I would LOVE to see Kat Doug: I mean I'd still be ok with her trying to fix my lungs Hera: no shut up. I want her to cut open Dr. Maxwell's brain Gill Hera like “both of them are the bad guy and lesser of two evils relative to each other. I have sympathetic feelings for both and wish to have them near me as little as possible. I want to see them fight to the death” Kate And she is So valid

#tales from the groupchat #wolf 359

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blackjackkent · 1 year ago

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Clicking around randomly in our little hell room opened up a new conversation with...someone; I can't really see anyone that we're talking to but it's definitely happening.

I'm getting big vibes of the Gauntlet from DAO.

Say what?

LOL.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure what this means. I'm *assuming* it means you can add extra people to your party beyond the ones you already have? EDIT: Springy has informed me that it's just a last-minute party reshuffle if you want to do one, and also that if you do said reshuffling, someone is going to end up stranded in the hellplane and the game never makes it clear that there's any way for them to go home. XD

So we're not going to change things up here, but I am going to go down the list quickly, because I'm quite amused by some of these as options; Caden really has a pretty narrow list of people he'd actually like to fight alongside and most of them are already with him.

Anomen. Caden met Anomen in BG1 for like a mission and a half and then he was summarily dropkicked out of the party to make room for Minsc and Dynaheir. He was a Super Honorable Paladin guy and he and Caden were pretty bemused by each other at best.

Cernd. Last seen after (according to my liveblog records) handing his son off to unrelated druids and wandering out of the party.

Dorn. Met very briefly in BG1 and was a complete jerk iirc.

Edwin. ???? Fuck that guy.

Haer'Dalis. LOLOLOLOLOL. Can you imagine? Last seen stalking off in a cloud of aggrieved thespian pride after Aerie tossed him to the curb for trying to fight Caden to the death for her heart. I don't know what he would do on being summoned into a hell dimension by Caden, but it would involve a long speech, a dramatic flourish, and the most incredibly stupid actions possible.

Jan. We met this guy once and saw him get carted off to prison; he sat in the journal for quite a while and Caden and I never gave enough of a shit to follow up on it.

Keldorn. Aw. Paladad. If it weren't for the 6-person party limit, Keldorn would be one of the few that Caden would be tempted to pull into this whole mess. He liked Keldorn, in spite of his faults. (That said, we left him trying to recover his broken relationship with his wife and Caden wouldn't want to interrupt that, especially not given how likely it is they all might just die in here.)

Korgan. Literally who? (Wait, was that the evil dwarf that we had in the party for like 0.5s in BG1?)

Mazzy. YAY MAZZY. The only person in this list Caden would unequivocally bring along if the game allowed it. Best halfling fighter buddy, good head on her shoulders, gets along with everyone in the party, and is voiced by Jennifer Hale. 10/10 no notes.

Nalia. Good kid, naive. Caden wants good things for her, but those things do not include fighting at his side in hell.

Neera. Oh god. Neera aggravated Caden to no end on the 3-4 occasions they spoke together, each of which was about 5 minutes at most. Basically all he knows about her is that she has a history of making weird magic shit happen for no reason. Not someone he wants lighting every fuse in the place.

Valygar. We met Valygar for one mission back in the middle of BG2 and Caden liked him well enough but that was a very surreal quest and he really doesn't feel the need to extend the relationship.

Viconia. LOL. Everyone remember the conversation where everyone shouted at Caden simultaneously for like ten minutes?

And then finally, scrolling down the list...

o.o;

Oh.

:'(

I have no intention of either bringing him or abandoning him in a hell plane, but I did click on this with the intention of reloading just to see what happens, because a) Caden could use closure if some is available, as Yoshimo's betrayal was one of the deepest cuts he ever endured and b) that boy is DEAD. So I'm curious how this would be addressed.

I think Caden actually did make this request, not really expecting anything to come of it, but hoping against hope that perhaps Yoshimo's shade could be brought back just long enough for them to...talk? Reconcile? But even the boy with the god of death inside him has limits to what he can command.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 2 #caden of candlekeep #whoops i made myself sad

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astrowithkaro · 3 years ago

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𝕾𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖕𝖎𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖘

My interpretations of Scorpio throughout the houses - keep in mind that this doesn't necessarily have to be 100% accurate to you so take what resonates! I bring up both darker and lighter themes. Do not copy, plagiarize or reword my posts, thank you! Give full credits if reposted - Karolina

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 1𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

Scorpio risings have an intense gaze that has the power to make people nervous. These people like giving off an impression of intensity and intimidation. Probably not the biggest fans of having photos taken of them by others through. These people feel things very deeply and intensely. You don’t like showing your vulnerability and opt to instead keep your emotions hidden from the outside world in fear that people will use that against you. You secretly want to control others perception of yourself as well as their opinions of you. You can come off as passionate and mysterious due to Scorpio’s intense nature reflecting in your rising sign. You can be suspicious of most things and therefore very careful and calculative with all your moves. Your presence can at times make some people uncomfortable or insecure in themselves due to the intense energy you exude. You also definitely want to project some sort of sex appeal I feel like. You might attract Libra/Pisces/Cancer risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 2𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You tend to get jealous when others have more financial freedom than you do. You have intense feelings involving money and personal possessions. You value passion and sexuality but deeper into relationships appreciate sensuality and loyalty, you long for "ride or die" partnership. You might tend to be very secretive in general but especially in terms of money and relationships. A lot of money launderers have this placement lol. You may also like collecting items that are deemed as “taboo” such as bones, sex toys, teeth and things involving death like skulls. You could potentially earn a living through sexual activities, the occult or perhaps healing arts such as yoga/divination/spiritual practices. You hate having to earn a living but also love the idea of being financially secure, this could potentially manifest in your life as a will to study for as long as possible so you don't have to find a job (as a 2H scorpio, same). You might feel attracted to authority figures that can be cold but "give back" in financial matters instead of physical or emotional since 2H rules detachment. You could've potentially had an emotionally distanced mother during childhood or had a mother who struggled with income. Attracts Leo/Scorpio/Gemini risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 3𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You hide your inner thoughts from most people. This placement could make a great investor, detective or spy. You have a very intense and passionate mind and can articulate your thoughts very well in social settings. You may enjoy writing erotic stories, mystery fiction or just any fiction as a hobby. You like knowing others secrets but but don’t want them to know about yours. You may seek out the secrets of your neighbours or siblings. You’re very persuasive with words. You can manipulate others easily or answer questions without actually truly answering them. You can be very sarcastic with sharp remarks. You love the idea of transforming the way you think or speak. You like talking, thinking or writing about passion, obsession, sex, revenge and transformations. Potentially intense or complicated relationships with siblings or some sketchy contacts. You may have had sexual experiences at a young age or a sibling that has had a near death experience. You may also like provoking extreme reactions in others as well. You have obsessive thoughts and a seductive voice. You may have multiple secret journals where you write down all your deepest darkest feelings. Attracts Capricorn/Aries/Sagittarius risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 4𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

This placements indicates power struggles with a parent or parents. You may have intense feelings or jealousy towards one or both. You like being in control when at home. It can be hard for you to relax and may be seen as the “troubled” kid or black sheep of the family. You like picking fights with family members to get reactions out of them. You don’t like letting other people see how controlling you truly are and are very observant with your own children. You have an extreme need for privacy. You may have deadbolts for your doors, shades always closed or a heavy gate that guards your home, perhaps your home is located somewhere closed off or far from the public. You like a taboo interior style. Very dark and intense homes are a common themes for these types of placements. You might really like chaos and almost feel “at home” in the middle of chaos. Intense feelings of love or hate towards a parent or both. You might also seek revenge on a potential parent or sibling. You’re intense and passionate behind closed doors though. You may also want hidden rooms or compartments built into your home, potentially a red room. Emotionally evolved Scorpios 4H are probably very good at forgiving and moving on with their life and are very family oriented and put their own family first. Attracts Pisces/Libra/Taurus risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 5𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

As a parent you may be very controlling with your children, you may also be passionately involved in their lives and childhood. You have very intense and passionate hobbies and interests. You have a deep and strong love for your children. You may feel really passionate about sports or something along those lines. You may have a lot of creative projects that explore sexuality or healing relationships by having children. You may seek extreme forms of pleasure and pure bliss in romantic relationships. You also seek agony in romance. You put passion into everything you do, especially when it’s involving sex or creativity. You may use art as a way of healing. Sex might be your choice of physical activity lmao. You like risky activity. You may feel attracted to possessive and jealous individuals. Secret or taboo love affairs, hobbies, interests and children may be present in your life. You may have power struggles or be jealous of your children. This is someone who cannot settle or be happy with little things in life. Grandiose and strangely addicted to the idea of happiness, they will often be unhappy simply because of their inability to instantly reach absolute peace. Attracts Capricorn/Aquarius/Virgo risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 6𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

Very opinionated when it comes to food or health (Gordon Ramsey for example has this placement as well) and you may be very stubborn when it comes to diets. You're a natural born healer and passionately involved in everyday routines and work. You could work in the medical field or healthcare perhaps. You might also have obsessive daily habits or routines. Sex is a big part of your daily routine - or it's something you want to be your daily routine. It seems as though you go through transformations or have epiphanies everyday. You could be a passionate cook or chef. You may like using food during sex (whipping cream/chocolate sauce/drunk sex etc). You have intense relationships with co-workers involving obsession, jealousy or passion. You may like to own animals that cause intense reactions from others (e.g snakes, spiders, rats) or are considered exotic - or you might just work with animals, at a zoo perhaps. Although you might have struggles with purging or binge eating. In terms of beliefs you may be interested in meditation/yoga or any spiritual practices but with a dark twins, you may use glam magic to get the person you desire. Attracts Aquarius/Leo/Aries risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 7𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You're the type of person to go through the highest highs and the lowest lows when it comes to relationships. You like going through emotional extremes in your relationships. You're also a very passionate and sexual partner - or set that as a standard for potential partners. However, you could also be very controlling and possessive in love and friendships. A love/hate relationship can be established with friends, lovers or even business partners. You may be seen as extreme by some. You could be attracted to jealous or obsessive people. You tend to always have emotionally complex or secretive partners or have a hard time bypassing the one night stand phase or take relationships seriously. Some people might suffer with trust issues - that goes both ways. Potential partners could potentially have a brooding personality. People with Scorpio in 7H might sometimes value friendship over partnership - could be interpreted as picking sides with a friend over partner. Attracts Sagittarius/Capricorn/Scorpio risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 8𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

The people are the definition of a phoenix. You have the ability to completely transform yourself in all aspects of life if you wanted to. You may have a very intense interest for death, psychology, the occult or sex. You can sometimes be jealous of other people's finances and sex lives, you don't trust your partners which can lead to you being very secretive or even hiding money from them. You crave passionate and deeply emotional sex. You're insanely sexual towards others though, you like transforming through it. You tend to have deep interactions with others. You're a very risky person in every aspect - which sometimes can be interpreted as biting the hand that fed you which is something you should be aware of. STD's may be common for you. You could like drug use during sex, strangulation and stuff that are considered taboo. In partners you seek emotionally complex individuals, you feel like you understand them better that way. You might inherit large amounts of money from deceased family members. You could perhaps become a financial or death researcher - accountant or mortician. Attracts Libra/Sagittarius/Pisces risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 9𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You have very mixed opinions on culture and religion. You heavily believe in the art of healing and transforming. You might have a philosophy of life that encourages powerful emotional expression or that supports sexual exploration and eroticism. You may try and attempt to control other people's beliefs on religion. You may keep your religious or cultural beliefs secret from others or the public. A lot of anthropologists and publishers and travellers have this placement. You want to help transform the world and humanity. You could tend to struggle with the concept of the higher power or God. You may also be prone to foreign affairs or seek partners with different a culture/ethnicity than you. You might find satisfaction in watching or practicing sports, trading stocks, traveling or watching comedy shows. You might also be attracted to individuals who are highly intelligent or educated with and touch of spiritualism and can therefore lead to having a hard time finding partners who can live up to those expectations. You might be popular on social media or are attracted to celebrities/celebrity lifestyle. Attracts Scorpio/Taurus/Gemini risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 10𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

These people might feel an intense jealousy of other people's success. The public could view you as a passionate and mysterious person. You may interest the masses, the highest highs of success and the lowest lows of failure could be experienced with this placement. You deeply crave a career that puts you in a position of power and have a big influence on people. You need a partner that fuels your passion, a lot of musicians and business CEO's have this placement. At their lowest, these people might seek out individuals who are more powerful than themselves and have a "damsel in distress" mentality. At their best they can be successful as professors/architects/mechanics/therapists/designers/leaders of some sort. You could be widely recognized for being charismatic and charming. You may have a powerful parent that you look up to - most often mother. Known in the public as a highly sexual person. Father may be absent physically or emotionally. You might have a career that will involve eroticism. You're widely known as a healer and have a sensual charisma to yourself that only the special people in your life get to share. Attracts Capricorn/Leo/Aries risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 11𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You could have very controlling friends or you could be the controlling friend. You may have an intense feeling of jealousy towards friends. You want to be passionately involved in causes that will change the world. You may have a lot of FWBs. You could tend to have an inability to separate sex and friendships. When famous you could have very obsessive or controlling fans, may attend occult, private, or sex clubs at times. You like being apart of something secretive (group wise) such as clubs or organizations. You could be friends with a few strippers, escorts or porn stars. You may attract secret admirers. You could want to experience being apart of a cult. Scorpio 11H may create erotic art as a healing practice. They might be attracted to sensual and calm partners who are open to sharing their creative efforts or finances, they are very big on fair play/diplomacy and justice. Attracts Virgo/Libra/Pisces risings.

𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘪𝘰 12𝘏 ∞༺♥༻✧

You may have some sort of involvement with death row inmates. Jealousy and secrecy is your self undoing along with paranoia or sex addiction. You're a deeply paranoid person with extreme feelings of jealousy and obsession toward others. You could work in the healing arts or be very committed to transformation and healing in this lifetime. You like being involved in charity or volunteering work. You're a very magnetic and mysterious person naturally. You may have very intense, vivid or disturbing dreams including dreams of dying, the afterlife, having sex or deep interactions with others. May lucid dream a lot. You don't like revealing what's hurting you to others because of fear of being a burden. You may have a secret dream journal as well. These people could potentially seek out highly skilled or diplomatic partners who have the same problem-solving qualities as yourself. Attracts Aries/Gemini/Aquarius risings.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖓𝖔𝖜, 𝖑𝖒𝖐 𝖎𝖋 𝖎𝖙 𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊

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sqpphos · 3 years ago

Text

˖ ࣪⊹⁺ ── 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

pairing — mike wheeler × fem! reader

w/c — 0.8k

warnings — smut (obv), aged up! mike wheeler, unprotected sex, bit of cockwarming, kinda insecure mike, reader being holly's babysitter doesn't play a huge part but it does question mark, not proof read cus i literally finished this at the crack of dawn

a/n — guys guys GUYS !!! I WROTE IT 🤭🤭 honestly don't exactly know how to fee abt it 😕 but it's done so who cares! didn't know what to write for the synopsis so i didn't write one 😶 pls pls pls excuse any mistakes i have not had any good sleep for the past week lol bye!

mike wheeler didn't know how he had gotten himself in this situation. his fuzzy, polluted mind couldn't comprehend it.

he’d thought that all of it was in his head. the flirty comments, sly smirks, dirty jokes, and skirts that only got shorter over of time— all just a figment of his imagination.

there was no way you’d be into him. never in a million years. you, ex-cheerleader at hawkins high, one of the prettiest and most sought after individuals in town, and now his younger sister’s babysitter, being interested in him? a lanky, introverted outcast who geeked over a fantasy game?

it was outrageous. insane.

but that clearly didn’t stop your advances. no, if anything, it fueled them. you found it attractive. enough that now here you were, whimpering under him as he filled you up with his cock. your hands held tightly onto his veiny arms as he thrusted in and out of your prodding hole.

“god, you feel so good.” you gasped.

mike didn’t know what to say. what could he say? this entire situation was just a mere thought— a fantasy of his. and now it was coming to life in the best way possible. he was completely in awe.

his hands were everywhere. delicate and slow touches gliding along the expanse of your skin. feeling your warm body under his fingertips as if you’d just poof! disappear.

“been dreaming about this for so long, mikey.” you propped yourself up on your elbows, pressing a quick kiss to mike’s cheek. “you don’t know how many nights i went home, touching myself and imagining it was you.”

if he wasn’t red in the face already, mike knew he was now. your words went straight to his head and down to his groin. “y-yeah?

you stared up at him with those doe eyes of yours, and mike swore to himself he could cum right then and there if he hadn’t had the restrain. “mhm, you’ve got the prettiest hands.” he watched as you took one of his hands in yours and brought it down to your swollen clit, guiding his thumb to circle it before letting go when he caught rhythm.

“and you’re so, so pretty, mikey. can’t take my eyes off you.” his hips had stilled the moment you began talking, drunk of your words and the way your walls clenched around his cock tightly. he could stay like this for hours without complain.

mike watched as your dainty hands gently snaked up his body up from his pelvic bone up to his head, following as you pulled his face down and kissed him. the most intimate part of it all. it felt right. like you two were made for each other.

you pulled away first, staring into his kitten round eyes as he awaited your next move. “i’m all yours, mike. so fuck me like it.”

he thinks you’re joking. this is all just some sick, twisted joke of a dream that a random god is giving him, to wake him up and bring him to reality.

there was a small voice in his head telling him that this was wrong. it was telling him to stop before he’s in too deep. reminding him that your job was to babysit his little sister, not to please him. the guilt was slowly eating him up by the second.

but your eyes telling him otherwise. you want this. the way you gaze up at him shows all the need for it— for him. that was all the confirmation he needed.

any doubt or insecurity that hid away in mike’s heart was gone. nowhere to be seen as now he was acting on impulse, senses on overdrive as he gave you what you wanted. giving in to his deepest desires and making you his.

mike doesn’t waste a second before he’s fucking you into the mattress, gripping tightly onto the plush skin of your thighs you know it’ll be bruised in the morning.

it was erotic. something completely out of a porno the way your arousal gushed out of you and onto the mattress. you’d worry about it some other time. some other time when you weren’t crying, hot and salty tears spilling over you cheeks as you came on mike’s dick.

mike’s hips stuttered against yours as he filled you up with his cum. a pretty bulge stuck out from your tummy as he remained still, buried deep in your sensitive walls. he delicately placed a hand atop it, smirking at the way you jolted.

you whine when he finally pulls out, hating the feeling of being empty. mike doesn’t give you a second to recover before he trails a finger down your folds, playing with what is the aftermath of your orgasms. he chuckles as you push his hand away from your sensitive cunt.

“you coming over tomorrow?” he asks casually.

you nod. “yeah, your mom asked me yesterday if i could.”

“good,” mike replied lowly. he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. “cause now you have two wheelers to take care of.”

#⋆ ࣪. ᓚᘏᗢ rey writes.#aged up! mike wheeler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler smut #mike wheeler imagine #mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things

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yanderechuu · 3 years ago

Note

do any of the teachers ever notice the things happening to y/n? (i headcannon Mic and Midnight as yanderes that would give advice to 1A lol)

yandere!Class 1A x fem!reader

[2.1K]

Summary: Aizawa is the first one you approached in regards to your certain predicament.

Warning: nonconsensual recording

│

Aizawa suspected something wasn’t quite right by the moment he saw you entering the class a minute before the bell rang, all haggard and teary-eyed, though you tried your best to obscure your disposition. He always knew you to often be in a state of discomfort whenever you were compelled to socialize, especially with your classmates, but now - you looked as if you reached your limit of holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, crashing down all at once as depicted on your crestfallen expression.

And when you showed up in front of the faculty room, timidly soliciting his presence, his suspicions were only further verified. Even with a pending question regarding subject matters in your mind, you weren’t one to approach a teacher to inquire about it, and if you did it was because the teacher was the one who would ask your attendance; never the other way around.

Present Mic was the first one to acknowledge you. He stood up from his office chair, waving at you comically. “Yo, (l/n)! Having trouble with English again?”

You never had a problem with his subject; he only insisted that you’d come to him in regards to that. “N-no, not really. May I speak to Aizawa-sensei?”

“Talk with me instead!” He enthusiastically spoke and headed over to you. “Come on, what’s the matter?”

“It isn’t your place to ask that when I’m here.” Aizawa interceded, clearly unimpressed by Mic’s antics. He failed to see the latter’s displeased countenance. “(L/n), what is it?”

You avoided eye contact with him, averting your view to the ground - that was alright. You were always like this, and he didn’t mind. Nothing out of place except for the fact that it looked as if you were about to cry any moment now.

“Can we- can we, um, talk somewhere more private?” You asked quietly.

His brows raised in wonder at your request. Nevertheless, he didn’t decline you, only nodding lackadaisically before heading towards the teacher’s lounge, where you followed him suit. He flicked the door tag to ‘occupied’ and entered the room after you, when he told you sit on the three-person sofa situated not quite on the farthest left of the space. Then, he settled himself on the chair across you.

“Well?” He asked, expectantly.

But you had once again your head above a thick cloud of anxiety. You knew that after the event with Momo in the girls’ locker room - where you had injured her against your will because she had been violating your personal space - your homeroom teacher kept a cautious eye on you in case you’d re-enact that incident. And it wasn’t just that incident that made him look at you like you were a criminal on the loose, either. Your classmates found and did a lot of ways to place you in Aizawa’s naughty list just so you wouldn’t snitch on their abusive (they’d call it affectionate) behavior on you.

That didn’t erase the fact that you were nevertheless his student; he cared for you no less than he cared for his other pupils, yet you were just too ignorant in figuring that out. All that mattered to you was that you’d voice out your current concern to him, but with your insecurities holding you down it seemed it would be more difficult than you had primarily foreseen it to be.

“I-I,” you stammered out, fiddling with something inside your pocket, “u-um, you see, t-there’s this, I mean, I can’t-”

He grew increasingly frustrated with your constant stuttering, and although he did understand your shy nature which largely affected your conversational habits, he only had so much patience to deal with it.

“I don’t have all day.” He stated, glowering at your form in mild irritation. “If you’re going to keep doing that, talk to the wall.”

You abruptly halted in speaking after that, only looking down on your lap, staring wide-eyed, grief-stricken at the revelation that perhaps he really did not want to heed any of your words because you were just that bad of a student that he had decided you were not worth much the effort to concern himself with. And maybe he was right - that your words didn’t matter because you didn’t matter; that there were more affairs he better be tending to than yours; that you were only making a big deal out of this when it truthfully wasn’t.

Oh god, you felt like vomiting. Self-deprecation was getting the better of you.

He stood up and sauntered to the exit, not bothering to spare you a glance. “Come back to me when you actually know what you want to say.”

It was a matter of seconds when you ran to him, pulling him back rather harshly by the grip you had on his sleeve. He turned around due to the force to see your head still hung low, avoiding his gaze as always - only, your shoulders were quivering sporadically, and occasional sniffs were heard from your person.

“P-please, sensei...” you voiced out, shaken and horrifyingly delicate. “I-I’m so scared. Please.”

While he looked at you with contracted irises, countenance now alert from your unexpected disposition, you pulled your trembling hand out of your skirt pocket, nervously disclosing to him from your palm a small, black device with a tiny yet prominent lens.

“M-my room,” you heaved, “I-I saw this i-in my room, m-my closet, while- while I was dressing up, and I don’t know how long it had been in there but it probably already caught me bare and-”

You broke down in a flurry misery and shame, allowing yourself to fall to the ground but you didn’t - Aizawa seized you in his arms, his gentle, fatherly arms that could only do so much to console you from the horror of your reality. And he held your head as you cried on his chest, one little thing he could do after ignoring your situation and letting you think that your significance was less than the rest of his other students. At that moment, you were just so little, so fragile, so naïve he’d keep you in his pocket if he could. Why would someone do something as debauched as illegally recording your innocent self?

“I’m sor-sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m really telling the truth, p-please-”

“Shh, it’s okay. I don’t doubt you.” He reassured. Why were you apologizing? Were you that insecure of being a nuisance? No, no, you never were. Not to him. He reached for your hand to take the cursed device. “Since when did you find out?”

“J-just this morning.” You responded.

“Alright. Do you want to rest? This must have taken a huge toll on you.”

But you still had classes ongoing. Then again, you didn’t feel like looking at the faces of the prime suspects who possibly did you dirty, even when you knew that you’d have to eventually interact with them to get notes of your missed lessons. You were so tired from summoning the lot of your courage to confront your teacher regarding your problem, so you probably wouldn’t have the energy to listen to class discussion. Aizawa finalized your decision by pulling you up and guiding you towards the office of Recovery Girl who, after being briefed of your predicament by your homeroom teacher, welcomed you with a warm smile, telling you to make yourself comfortable in one of the beds in the infirmary.

He then made his way to 1A classroom, a newfound swelling of rage and disappointment in his chest, both forwarded to his class and to himself because only now did he realize that perhaps you were often so restless and apprehensive in the presence of your classmates because they did things that made you bury yourself in the deepest parts of your shell as a last attempt to revel in a sense of safety. Your timidity was not entirely derived from your own nature; it was also due to the maltreatment you were receiving from your classmates. Halting his steps by the classroom door, he looked through the glass window, seeing the class focusing on Midnight’s lecture.

Well, not quite. He could tell that your classmates were visibly affected by the lack of your presence, glancing at your desk from time to time as quiz papers were being passed behind - so they were in the middle of a test, he guessed. But that wasn’t his concern.

In impudent manner, he walked in amid Midnight’s talking, disregarding her face’s sudden morphing into vexation as the students gave him a look of confusion.

“Eraser, what are you-” she was rudely interrupted as Aizawa took the test reference papers from her hands. Something about Modern Hero Art History, he read. He faced his class with disdain, stating,

“Until someone confesses their crime of hiding a spy camera on (l/n)’s dorm room, all of you are receiving failing marks on this test.”

Quite suddenly, the class burst into violent upheaval, gasping, perking, some allowing the dreadful news of your situation to sink in, others letting out noises of complaint before actually taking consideration to the main point of Aizawa’s statement. Midnight stared at him in disbelief, but did nothing to stop his measures.

Momo abruptly stood. “I-is (y/n) okay? We should go check on her!”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Aizawa said. “All of you are suspects. You’ve no right to see her.”

“She probably just made that up get back on us for whatever fucking reason!” Yelled Bakugou.

“Yeah?” The male pro-hero disingenuously mused. He then picked up the spy camera and held it for everyone to see, before setting it down the teacher’s podium. “This was found on her closet. Would she risk recording herself naked just to prove that point?”

Noise died down thereafter, setting their sights solemnly at the device, the class collectively having the same thought in regards to the spy camera.

(Why hadn’t they thought of that? It could have been easier to check on you that way, since you almost always confined yourself in the privacy of your own room.)

“So? No one wants to speak up?” Aizawa asked, though expected the silence.

“Aizawa, have them approach you after classes. It’s embarrassing this way.” Midnight intervened.

“Well that’s the point. Get them exposed to the entire class, so everyone could realize how much of a perverted bastard one of these to-be heroes are. Good values, my ass.” He replied, not bothering to filter rather colorful vocabulary. “Where’s your dignity?”

He let a minute or two pass for the perpetrator to reveal themselves, but soon it became apparent that whomever they were refused to admit to their crime, willing to sacrifice the grades of the class for the sake of anonymity. That would be deemed useless, anyway, because Aizawa was already set on figuring out whom they were, no matter the extent he’d go to in order for that to happen. He’d expel them at once.

But he didn’t have the power to expel someone outside of his class.

“I guess that’s it for your test.” He sighed, disgruntled, picking up the small camera and sauntering his way out of the classroom after giving Midnight a look that he was dead serious with marking all of them a failing score. She stared at him in uncertainty, nonetheless abided by his decisions, albeit hesitantly.

Upon ascertaining his absence, Midnight turned to Class 1A, amusement and humor dancing on her seductive countenance.

“Naïve, hormonal teenagers,” she mused, “the closet, really? Couldn’t you have chosen somewhere less conspicuous?”

None of them bothered to tell her that they were truthfully unaware of the incident.

===

Hagakure Toru, stealth hero, entered your room silently in the nude, the only proof of her movements being a tinier, different spy camera she’d brought along with her. No, not the closet, you might find it again. It looked so painfully obvious on the desk, too, and neither in the bathroom due to its pale white interior.

But on the pencil holder situated atop your nightstand would do. You barely moved it, anyway, only having its purpose served as a decoration; something to fill the vacancy of the bedside table. After a few adjustments in camouflaging the device with the environment and making sure the lens displayed the area of your space, Hagakure checked its concealment one more time, before mechanically heading outside and back to her own dorm.

Her body collided almost violently with her room’s door, snapping her out of her trance.

“H-huh!? Weird... how’d I end up in my room?” She asked, receiving no answer from particularly anyone.

But Shinso Hitoshi could provide her one, if only he weren’t outside, staring at your terrace from five stories down your room, a gratifying smirk donned on his features. Now, the only thing he had to do was dismantle and relocate the gadgets wirelessly connected with the camera Aizawa had confiscated.

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nobody7102 · 3 years ago

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My dear you have done it again!!!! Your writing knows no bounds and I thank you from the deepest depths of my soul for all the responses. You are amazing!!!

Imagine too like Miles and his dad sitting out on the back porch of the hotel when there's no one checking, wifey's hanging the bedsheets and covers out on the line to dry, Benny's running around like a wild child, (cuz ya know, a three year old needs to burn off as much energy as possible) disappearing into a shrub for a good half hour or so. Miles and Dad are like "ah let him run, he'll tire himself out before dinner."

They watch, taking in the quiet for a little while before the late night travelers are due to roll in. Benny comes running back, his face, hands, t-shirt and jeans COVERED in smears of dark purple. Miles is like, "Benny what did you do to yourself?" to which Benny says something along the lines of either "I ate purple" or "I Deep Purple".

Miles has the look of "good God, my kid just ate his weight in blackberries", his dad is laughing his ass off and so isn't wifey who's like "do you want me to give him a bath tonight or do you want to do it?" (lol)

THATS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER HEARD!(my ass has grandparent who live in the middle of bum-fuck no where so randomly finding blackberries, raspberries, and gooseberries brings me so much happiness)

"Alrighty what do we do when the back light comes on?" Miles hummed setting Benny on the ground.

"Back to the hotel" Benny responded,

"alright go have fun" Miles sent the boy off before tuning back to walk over to the porch. taking a seat next to his father who offered him a beer from the cooler he had brought out.

Shaking his head Miles just plopped down into the chair watching as Benny wandered around the clearing. "Ya know, when you were his age we let you wonder till the sun went down"

A chuckle came from Miles as he glanced to his father "Yeah and look how well I turned out"

The screen door of the building opened before a voice called out "I don't know, I think you turned out pretty good" Y/N smiled, with a laundry basket propped on her hip

"Thank you Y/N" Otis motioned to Y/N "See your wife knows what I'm talking about"

Smiling as Y/N made her way over to the clothes line to start hanging the wet fabric, Miles looked between his wife and son before taking the aforementioned beer Otis had offered.

After a while, the sheets had been hung and Y/N had settled onto Mile's lap as the three of them talked about they couldn't even remember.

"Benjamin Philip Miller! What did you get into!?" Miles stiffened in his seat seeing Ben wander closer to the porch covered in smears of deep crimson all over his hands, face and shirt. Bolting from the chair, Y/N and Miles ran over to Ben. Taking in the smiley, giggly state of the three year old.

"I gots some purple" he giggled as Otis ran other to the three with a washcloth in hand.

Running the rag over the boys face, Otis started laughing "You did have some purple didn't you Benny boy?" he laughed

Looking between his father and his son, realization washed over Miles as he hoisted Benny over his shoulder, giggles erupted form the boy.

"Miles what did he get into" Y/N called out as Miles made his way to the building

"You might wanna get the bleach out for when I'm done giving Benny a bath Baby, blackberries stain like the devil"

#miles miller bad times at the el royale #miles miller x reader #miles miller imagine #miles miller #lewis pullman bad times at the el royale #bad times at the el royale x reader #bad times at the el royale #lewis pullman imagine #lewis pullman x reader #lewis pullman

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renaisaibaam · 4 years ago

Text

interview

zhongli / female reader smut fic

degrading, dirty talking

idk how to tag lol

vvvv vulgar i am ashamed

"fuck, zhongli—" you moaned pathetically as you felt his cock slide into you in a slow, gentle pace that absolutely drived you insane, your breath shallow yet heavy, with your back pressed against the cold, wooden surface of your shared apartment's dining table. your boyfriend had just come home from a job hunt, and was expecting a call from one of the places he had visited, so to pass some time, he had decided to have his dinner almost immediately upon his arrival, his dinner being you, in the table instead of the bedroom, and with how im using this analogy to describe him just eating you out for his meal, its rather appropriate to have it in the dining room in this context.

his hands were underneath your thighs that were dripping with hot sweat, keeping them hoisted up as his hips moved slowly and steadily, whines leaving your lips from the fucking tease he was being. a scowl crosses his face, and he bends down to sink his teeth on the soft flesh of the underside of your thigh, not caring when you let out a pained yelp. he knew you liked the pain, anyways.

"arent you being a greedy little slut right now? do you want me to ruin you that bad?" he pulls out of your dripping cunt until only the tip of his cock is in, and without any warning, slams it back in until he's ball deep inside you, your back arching when you feel his cock hit the deepest parts of you. your hands move up to claw on his toned, almost rock hard arms, leaving red marks in your wake as tears filled the corner of your eyes from the pleasure of the sudden movement that he kept repeating without giving you time to even catch your own breath.

"didn't i teach you how to fucking wait? just how deprived are you from cock, when you've just had it last night?" he growls into your skin before rutting into your cunt in a rough pace, the unanticipated action making you scream his name in ecstacy. you were already in cloud nine by this point- zhongli filled you up so good; so well to where you wouldnt even think of anything else but him and his cock. he messed you up in the best ways possible, and you knew you could never go back once you had a taste of him.

you could hear the belt around his pants clinking to the pace of his thrusts inside you, and the cold metal slamming against the back of your thigh added to the many sensations you were feeling, considering he didnt even bother taking off his own clothes except for his coat and blazer while he stripped you off of everything, with the exception of his favorite sweater that you had worn, seeing how much of his scent lingered in the cozy, soft fabric of it. he loved seeing you in his clothes, but the hem of the sweater, however, was already up to your neck to expose your chest that had been bouncing to the rhythm of his hips. the cold air made your nipples hard, but you barely cared.

he bends down, cups your right breast with one hand, and swirls his tongue flat around your hardened bud, his other hand keeping your legs up in place. your hands that were adorned with sweater paws reached up to stroke his hair, and he looked up with a smile, moving towards you to lock your lips together in a heated kiss that held an overflowing amount of passion for each other. well, it was like that until a sudden ring of someone's phone interrupted your kiss with zhongli.

he pulls away with a string of saliva connecting you and him, and he grabs the ringing phone from his pocket, checking the number and immediately answering it, not pulling away from you as he spoke.

"hello?" he asks with his usual deep and calming voice, as if he hadn't been fucking you into oblivion just a few seconds ago. he puts the phone on loud speaker, and listens to the caller's voice closely.

"hi! this is from the wangsheng funeral parlor. do you mind if we conduct the interview over the phone so you dont have to come over? we're pretty busy at the moment with the influx of interviews." what a cockblock, you thought. just as you were about to pull away, zhongli stands up straight and grabs your hips with one hand, keeping you in place as he turned off the loud speaker and held the phone to his ear, speaking in the most professional voice that shook your core when it reached your ears.

"sure, i dont mind. lets proceed immediately."

you looked up at him with a face expecting him to release you, as he was slowly pulling away until he was out, but you let out a loud yelp when he suddenly slams back in to stuff you full of his cock, the rhythm of his thrusts still steady and deep despite the talking he was doing over the phone.

you couldnt believe it. zhongli was fucking you in the dining table as he had his motherfucking job interview. what would happen if this shit went wrong? you clawed at his arms to grab his attention and make him stop, but he just stared down at you, and was silent for what felt like eternity, before he gave a hard slap to the side of your exposed thigh, his thrusts only getting faster each time you resisted.

you were trying your best not to let out any sounds, but the way his cock was hitting on the spots that made you feel the best was sending you to euphoria. he made you feel so good almost without effort, and this situation in general just turned you on. what if the person on the phone could hear the sounds you made? what if they could hear just how much sounds your cunt was making from how much it had been dripping for him, and only him?

you could have sworn you had came twice or even more, and yet his interview hasnt ended despite you already meeting your release multiple times. and even when you did, he didnt stop for one bit. he had no plans to, anyways. as he spoke about what might be best for the company as an answer to the question, he leans down to mark the skin around your collarbone with a bite, sucking it as if he were to excrete something sweet if he did it hard enough.

you feel something different yet familiar bubbling up your abdomen, and you knew you were about to reach your orgasm again, and since you couldnt take any more of it, you mouth to zhongli to stop, or at least slow down, desperation in your expression. his bright eyes, which seemed to darken, stared down on you as still fucking spoke with annoyance dripping in his voice as he answers, "i think we can negotiate my salary based on my skills and the value i bring to the company."

this was enough to tell you that the interviewer asked a stupid question, and that he was pissed about it, yet remained cool headed despite it. and to take the frustration out, he places the phone between his ear and shoulder, grabs your legs and hoists you up even higher than what you were usually used to, and plunges his cock even deeper into you to the point where you can see his tip poking out from your stomach, the new and foreign feeling making you clench around his cock to which he lets out a low, and deep grunt at.

with only a look towards you as your single warning, he slams down into your tight cunt, the sudden pleasure coursing through your veins in a rush that leaves you feeling lightheaded. you cover your mouth with your hands and scream through the fabric of his sweater, feeling yourself reach your high and release for who knows how many times you did ever since the damned call, your hands shaking from the immense sensation and pleasure zhongli had brought you tonight.

all that had happened, and yet he didnt even fucking stop.

you were an overstimulated mess, and as a last resort, you whine loudly to try and grab his attention for who knows how many times, wanting this to be over already. you couldnt stand holding back your voice, and you knew itd do more harm if they had heard you. but zhongli wasnt having any of it.

he places you back down on the table with him still inside you, grabs his phone with his left hand to hold it up to his ear, and uses his right hand to wrap it around your throat, squeezing the sides in a way he knows you love so much. you gasp when you feel his huge, rough hand around you, and as if that wasnt enough, his hips slam back into you, driving you into a quiet, drooling mess. your eyes rolled back, and amidst the silence, your body shook violently to try and get him off of you, your hole unable to handle any more of the overstimulation he drove you into.

you feel your mind going blank and hazy from the emotions and feelings you had been experiencing. the fear of being caught, the excitement of trying not to get caught, the pleasure of his cock filling you up to the brim, the overstimulation and high of your recent orgasm, and the lack of oxygen is throwing you into an overwhelmed state, and yet here you were, living for it.

your hips shake, and you squirt into his cock, feeling your own release dripping down your legs as you made a mess on the floor and on zhongli's skin. you feel your legs give in and drop to his sides, looking up at him as he continued speaking as if you werent even there. but even if he was acting that way, his lust filled eyes stared at you hungrily, his tongue swiping his lips in a manner that you'd think was purposely trying to rile you up.

"okay, i understand. i'll come in tomorrow, so please take care of me." and with that, he ends the call, and growls lowly, placing the phone beside you. he lifts up your legs, and leans in until your face is just centimeters away from you, a low growl emitting fron him as he spoke.

"just how much did you cum in under 20 minutes? did you enjoy it knowing we could get caught?" his hips rocks itself into you deeply, and stays in that position, your hips shaking. you could feel him fill you up to where your abdomen felt full of him and only him, and you looked up at him, whining at his words.

"fucking whore. you even made a mess on me. did it feel that good, doll?" he opens his mouth and crashes his lips on to yours, quickly moving down to bite the skin around the side of your throat where his hands once were, leaving marks on both sides. he moves up to whisper on your ear, his voice making you tremble as you felt his hot breath whispering such dirty words that you knew he was going to fulfill. guess you were staying at home tomorrow.

"ill make sure you cum all over my cock more tonight, so be a good girl and take me in well. are we clear?"

#genshin impact #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact smut #zhongli x reader

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years ago

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kinktober - day eighteen

ushijima wakatoshi - overstimulated

kinktober faq kinktober prompt list

NSFW warning featuring: overstimulation (in the emotional and sexual sense), vaginal unprotected sex, cunnilingus, slight body worship, words and phrasing like “slut” and “cockwhore,” rlly desperate/needy reader other tags: soft ushijma, probably ooc ushijima, established relationship, sweet talk and compliments, lots of “i love you’s,” poor and very fast pacing lol fem reader

word count: 2762

“You know I think you’re perfect, right?”

Seconds of silence passed - you kept time with the beats of your heart, and Wakatoshi seemed to do the same as he tapped a synced rhythm against your leg. Was it really beating that loud?

You never knew how to reply when he said things like that to you, and seeing him sitting between your legs, towering over you only made finding words harder. You could only mumble his name, avoiding his stark gaze that’d been stuck on your face, trying not to feel so embarrassed because of your boyfriend’s out of place words.

He pulled your leg up to his shoulder by wrapping a hand around your ankle, and he was careful to keep watching you as his lips pressed to your calf. He was smirking, happy with himself and the way he’d gotten under your skin. He knew you weren’t used to words of affirmation - he wasn’t used to saying them, either, but any embarrassment he felt was completely weighed out by yours.

And there was something he liked about that.

“I love you.”

“Toshi,” you whined.

“I do,” he said, kissing up the inside of your leg. “Won’t you say it back?”

“No,” you huffed, “you’re teasing,” and his fingers curled under your knee to make you laugh, “quit! That tickles, stop!”

He laughed with you, a deep sound coming from his chest, and only let up because you’d gotten dangerously close to kicking him in the head.

His kisses had made it to your inner thigh, now, and they were slow and feather light.

“I’m not teasing,” he said with a raised brow. “I just want you to know that I love you - is there something wrong with that?”

He started kissing your other thigh, mumbled words into your skin, “You’re so perfect,” before giving in to your strained breaths and pleading whimpers by trailing his kisses up to the apex of your legs. “So beautiful.”

If this were any other man, you would have been sure that these words were nothing more than lip service - sweet talk laced with insincerity, just to get you into the giving mood.

But this was Wakatoshi - your Wakatoshi who, some nights, says less than five words from start to finish. Some nights, he asks you to pour your heart out to him. And some nights, he’s the one mumbling words that he pulls out of his heart and crafts into sentences he deems as worthy for you to hear. Wakatoshi wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean - especially not to you.

But, that’s what made it harder to hear. You could bare yourself in front of him, pull his body into yours, beg him for your deepest desires, yet, Wakatoshi being honest and vocal about his love for you is what crossed your line of vulnerability.

That’s what left you in a puddle underneath him, and you loved this side of him more than you’d ever admit.

It was all soft, the way he lapped his tongue into you, the circles he was rubbing into your hip, the look in his hooded eyes pointed up at you. A slow burn, melting you gently, coaxing you into relaxing for him.

“You still won’t say it back?”

Nimble fingers spread you open, and cool air blew from his pursed lips against your soaked skin, and it left you with a type of uncomfort you wanted more of - you’d chase it, and he’d hold your hips down.

He was rubbing those three words out of you with his thumb on your clit, watching as your back arched for him and your mouth fell open with no regard for the sounds that fell out of it.

And he loved your every sigh and whimper and whine, but he wanted to hear something else more. All it took was two slow fingers tucked into you, curling into just the right spot for him to hear it: “Love you, Toshi, so much, I - oh - I love you so much.”

You missed the smirk that grew on his face, the way his ears turned red and the chuckle that left his chest. If you could stop squeezing your eyes shut you would have caught the way he was looking at you like you’d just gifted him all the stars in the sky, but you were sure if you opened your eyes the daze you were in would fade away.

Wakatoshi couldn’t take it anymore - the more he watched your pretty face, the more he wanted to kiss you and love you and fuck you, and as much as he hated to abandon the home he’d built between your legs, he had to give in to what he needed.

As soon as you felt his fingers slip out of you, you felt his lips on yours, but his kiss did nothing to stifle the cry that wailed from your throat. It was like he’d just left you out in the open, built you up to nothing, left you empty and needing only him to quell your desire. He’d shown you your deepest needs and then said you can’t have them, and you didn’t know what to do other than beg him for it.

This clingy impatience was rare, and he never meant to work you up like this, but he loved your teary eyes and pouty lips, he loved knowing just how much you needed him.

“Need you,” he said, quiet, like he didn’t want anyone else to hear - as if anyone else was around. He had to swallow hard just so he could get another measly sentence out, “I need you so much.”

You tightened your legs around him and drew him in, as if the fabric of his shorts wasn’t in between you, and you felt every inch of how much he wanted you pressed right against you.

Both of you needed to hurry this up, and he tugged his shorts off as if this was a timed event. Usually calm and collected, well put together Wakatoshi was the complete opposite now, completely unravelling at the thought of having to wait even another second to be inside you.

And with you pulling him in, being so eager and inviting, it would hardly take that long. A hiss from him and a cry from you sounded in the air and resonated through the room as he sunk into you.

“You’re always… so tight, fuck - so perfect for me.”

He didn’t give you a slow start this time, not even a moment to adjust before he was pounding into your heat at a full force. And it shouldn’t have felt so good right from the start, but it was like there was just something in the air, something that heightened your senses and made you feel lighter.

Even if he was acting frantically, every single movement was still controlled. The thrust of his hips and the kisses he left on your neck and even his breathing, he controlled all of it. He didn’t seem half as desperate as you did, even though he felt moreso.

You knew you would cum sooner rather than later - he had built you up for it, afterall, but you suspected he’d be quick to follow. You surely didn’t think he’d be rubbing your clit and sending you towards a second orgasm before he even acknowledged your first, before two minutes had even passed, before your legs were finished quivering underneath him.

You were absolutely screaming his name and Wakatoshi was smiling through it, a self satisfied grin that gave away any and all pride he was feeling in the moment.

“What’s got you so worked up, hm?” he asked, slowing down as if he needed to break and catch his breath - even though he very obviously didn’t. He was toying with you, running a thumb along your jaw and tilting your head back to meet his eyes, “What’s gotten into you, love?”

You weren’t sure what exactly was swimming around in his eyes - some mixture of sadism and pride - as his pace sped up again.

Maybe it was all the praise he’d thrown your way before that had your senses dialed up, or maybe it was because you’d gone over a week without doing this with him - you weren’t sure. It was all combined with the way he was serving you, that’s what really sent you flying.

With all of his resolve, you weren’t sure how long he was going to be pounding you like this, lasting through every orgasm he forced from you with ease, and you didn’t know how long you could handle it.

You cried out his name and he knew, with the cracks in your voice and the tightening of your walls around his cock, and his eyes rolled back in his head because this is exactly how he likes it. Struggling to pull out of you because you’re squeezing him so damn tight, wiping away your tears as he abuses that same oversensitive spot again and again with the tip of his cock, reaching as deep inside of you as he possibly could because of how much he was forcing his thrusts - this is exactly what he needs, it’s exactly what all that build up was for.

“One more,” he said through gritted teeth, raising a hand to slap back down on your ass just to feel you clench. “You’ll cum for me one more time - I’ll cum with you this time, sweetheart, let me have one more from my good girl.”

“I can’t, Toshi - please - fuck -” and his thumb back on your clit completely cut off your ability to finish that sentence.

“But I thought you loved me,” he joked with a cheeky grin, leaning down to rest his forehead against the side of your head. “Too much?”

Despite the soft worry in his tone, he didn’t let up in fucking the life out of you, because he knew what your answer was going to be. If it really was too much, you would have kicked him off of you by now. You wouldn’t be thrusting your hips into his, dripping around his cock and onto the sheets, head thrown back moaning mantras of his name.

“Just don’t stop, Toshi,” and he wondered if you knew he had no plans to. “Don’t stop - just keep, fuck - there, I - I’m -”

“Already? Oh, you’re so sensitive tonight, aren’t you?”

Your petty moans, whiny gasps, unstoppable cries were rare - he’d rejoice when he heard them, like they’d just played his favorite song at the bar, like he’d just heard you explain your love for him for the first time - these sounds were impossibly delightful, and were the only sign you’d give him that you were truly at your limit. You always hated being needy, you never wanted to be so desperate for him that you’d fall over yourself at the mere thought of getting fucked right by him, but Wakatoshi so easily turns you into putty in his hands. He so easily makes you out to be nothing but cock hungry - an in love slut who only wants to cum again, who cries out for him if he so much as acts like he won’t give you what you want.

And it was embarrassing to come out of, finding the tear stains on your cheeks when looking in the mirror and realizing how whiny you had really become for him. But, to Wakatoshi, it was everything he wanted. To strip you down until your essence was nothing but a mere need for pleasure only he’s capable of giving you is one of the few wonders in his life - to boil you down into this desperate cockwhore is the one thing that leaves him seeing stars. There was no feeling that could compare to being needed so badly by someone like you, someone he loves in his deepest core, the person he needs more than anything. It left him thriving. It willed him to keep moving his hips despite the burn in his thighs and the loud creaks of the bed frame. It had him needing you even more, whining into your neck like a dog.

It was all really starting to become too much, now; the burn from being fucked past three orgasms was no longer sickeningly sweet. The only thing keeping you going was your need for him to cum for you, with you, in you - it was all you could think about, and you begged for it.

He lifted his head and looked at you, sweat keeping his hair pressed to his forehead, jaw slack, eyes nearly closed, and you knew he was almost there. He always got so overwhelmed when he was close; he’d grab your hands and hold them into the mattress above your head, gripping your wrists tight. He’d look down and watch your connection in what seemed to be awe, watching the way your body accepted him so eagerly. A moan or two would slip out, curse words and your name all jumbling together to become the soundtrack of your final orgasm of the night.

And it was much less strong than the ones before it - you were too worn out and it barely reached your toes, it didn’t send you into a quivering mess on the sheets or throw you into a whirlwind, and you were glad for it as you watched the sight before you.

Because Wakatoshi was flying, with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen; bottom lip between his teeth and eyes screwed shut, lost in his own world as he pumped into you, his warmth spilling into your whole body as you took everything he had. Getting to see him unraveling like this was a privilege in its own right, and every time you were able to catch it was better than in your dreams.

“Fuck, Toshi, you’re so pretty,” you said, sneaking a hand from his grip to hold his face. Your lips caught his in a lazy, open kiss as he rode it out, savoring every second of this feeling, letting himself get lost in you.

He released his grip on your other hand, his touch sliding down your arm and all down your body until it met your hip as he started kissing you right, still not finished with you. His thrusts had become slower but not yet still, like he wasn’t ready for it to be over.

His hand moved under your thigh to push your leg up against your stomach, bent at the knee, giving him more access to you as he pounded out his final thrusts.

Sucking in his teeth as he finally forced himself to stop, he tried his best to find the words he wanted to say and yet came up quiet. He had so much to tell you - he needed to explain his feelings to you even though he just showed you every part of his heart. But he couldn’t get the words right, so he stayed silent as he severed your connection.

He immediately clung right to you, laying on top of you, every weak joint on his body giving into gravity’s pull.

“You should take a shower,” he said, and you laughed at the casual absurdity of his tone.

“Says you,” you replied, running your hand through his sweat drenched hair to get your point across.

“Should change the sheets, too.”

“You’re supposed to be telling me sweet pillow talk,” you said, “not giving me a to-do list.”

He lifted his head up so he could look at you. “Didn’t we already do the sweet pillow talk?”

“No!” you laughed. “Get off of me, you’re heavy, I’m getting squashed.”

“You’re supposed to be cuddling me back.”

“You aren’t cuddling me, you’re flattening me,” and you slid out from under him just enough so you could breathe again.

He lifted himself up just enough so he could look down at you, and you held his face in both hands and pulled him in.

“I love you,” you told him before a soft kiss.

“I know.”

“Aren’t you going to say it back?”

“You already know,” he replied, laying on his side and tucking you into him, cuddling with you properly this time. Wakatoshi was comfortable and warm and loved, so entirely loved, and it made something swirl around in his chest. His heart skipped a beat just from looking at you. He loved you, and you knew that, but, “I’ll say it as many times as you want me to, though. I love you, too.”

#im nervous posting this i hope i didnt leave any big mistakes lmfao #kinktober 2020 #not family friendly #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines

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chaoticsoft · 2 years ago

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I Turn 30 in 6 Days. Here Are Some of the Things I've Learned:

Cut your kitchen sponge in half. They really don't need to be as big as they are to get the job done and it makes the pack last way longer.

Cheap(er) shampoo, expensive conditioner.

If you can afford their care, a little animal companion does wonders for your mental health.

Learning languages is a cool and sexy way to keep your brain malleable.

Speaking of malleability, stretch your muscles every single day. Every. Day.

If you are someone who gets a period, menstrual cups are something that's improved my quality of life so much. Reusable, cloth pads and period underwear are also game-changers. Good for the environment and you save so much money.

If a job hires you on the spot, like immediately, barely asking you a single question about your qualifications, there's a 97% chance that job is going to be a disaster.

In a similar vein, if someone gets very, very serious about you/tells you they want to marry you after barely dating for like a month, that is a red flag. While there are cases where it can work out, 9 times out of 10, that person is not in love with you (How can they be? They don't know you yet), and is simply desperate to be with someone, anyone, doesn't really matter who. Not a healthy foundation for a relationship.

Protein helps a hangover. Everyone finds their own little things that work for them, but my personal favorite remedy is steak & eggs.

Speaking of alcohol, I am of the "harm reduction" school of thought. If you're going to drink (or do drugs, for that matter), do it at home where you are safe and around people you trust. Use as little as possible and take tolerance breaks.

Cooking doesn't have to be complicated. If you can read, you can do it. The easiest thing ever is soups. A good rule of thumb is to start with something from the allium family (leeks, garlic, shallots, onions), something to add bulk like your potato of choice, carrots, butternut squash, then something leafy for texture like kale, bok choy, cabbage. Nutritional yeast can add a wonderful flavor.

Try and have at least one healthy, easy meal you can make when you're in a bad headspace. My go-to is lentils cooked in vegetable broth eaten over microwaveable rice. Or I throw a bag of frozen vegetables and a can of coconut milk into a pan with turmeric, ginger powder, cayenne pepper, coriander, etc.-- Bam, vegetable curry in like 10ish minutes.

Sex toys are tools to achieve or enhance sexual pleasure. A partner who is threatened by a vibrator ain't shit lol.

If you, like me, were never taught how to self-soothe (regulate your negative emotions/calm yourself down without spiraling into darkness), a piece of advice my therapist offered me was to speak to myself as though I'm a very small, frightened child. To comfort a child that's crying, I would not say, "get over it, you dumb bitch" or whatever cruel, negative self-talk I tend to throw at myself. Instead, I would speak calmly to that child. I would gently soothe them, reassuring them that they are safe. I do this with myself all the time now, calling myself "sweetheart," assuring myself that everything will be okay. It has not replaced the mean, negative voice in my head, but it does always challenge and often override it.

Your healing does not depend on those who hurt you being sorry.

If you are the marrying kind, marry the one who feels like safety, who you look at and your heart thinks, "Home." Marry the one who, when they tell you everything will be alright, you can believe them. It helps, also, to find your best and deepest friendship in your mate. To genuinely like as well as love them.

#sarah writes things #personal

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justreadingfics · 5 years ago

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It’s a Deal (Chapter 10)

Chapter Summary: What a day.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 7.1k

Warnings: mild angst, fluff, confrontation, mention to past relationships that might’ve been a bit toxic, crying, laughing.

A/N: I know, I’m not a fast updater! Thank you all for the patience, and I hope you guys like this chapter. I feel like a should warn you about the level of angst that might be below your expectations, this is me trying to write a romantic comedy, guys, bear with me, lol! Thank you to my sweet Les for always having my back. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

Tag list for this story is closed.

“Will you marry me?”

Those words replay in your head while your limbs go slack. Eddie kneels before you, diamond ring in hands and an expectant look on his face. You just stare at him, unsure of what to say or even what to feel among the huddle of sensations inside you… until one of them suppresses the others and your parted lips shut right before your jaw clenches. Anger.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Eddie?”

Completely taken aback by your snap, the man before you flinches and his shoulders drop while the little box shuts when his hand does.

“I-I…” he tries.

“No,” you cut him off, “Seriously,” you swiftly get up from the sofa, and he follows, “You broke up with me after one year or so without properly touching me or even talking to me,” you scoff, shaking your head, “And now you come here and fucking propose after months apart? Fucking propose, Eddie?” You repeat yourself, narrowing your eyes at him, “What the hell are you even thinking? That I would swoon and run to your arms just like that?” You snap your fingers, “That I was here just waiting for this moment?”

The man seems completely startled and lost in front of you, but in your outrage, you don’t find in you to care one bit, “I know I messed up,” he finally speaks, “I know it’s all my fault, I was lost, but this?” he lifts the little box, “This is it, I’m not lost anymore.”

You sigh, running your hand over your face, you put on a calmer voice as the anger guiding your actions and words so far starts subduing, “Listen, I was crushed when you broke up with me, I should’ve seen it coming, maybe I should’ve tried harder when I noticed the distance between us-”

“That’s not true, baby -”

“Eddie,” you raise a hand to interrupt him, “Let’s try to be honest to each other here for once. If there’s something I’ve learned is that we can never do wrong by being honest.”

There’s a crease between his eyebrows as he takes in your words until he breathes in and nods.

“We weren’t ok by the end of our relationship, this time apart made me see that much clearly now. I may have turned a blind eye to it all, but that’s the truth. We weren’t communicating, we were just going with the flow, and that’s on us. Both of us.” Your lips tighten and he keeps his attention on you, “But now…Maybe you didn’t notice or maybe you’re the one turning a blind eye for it now, but don’t you see the timing for this proposal is, in the least, a little off?”

“What? Why?” He tilts his face while the crease on his forehead deepens.

You let out a breath and walk to the sofa. He follows you and you both sit down again. A true and honest conversation with Eddie has been long overdue and you don’t think it’s time to keep postponing it, “We are broken up for months and you’re proposing to me not even two whole days after seeing me close to someone else… after trying to hook up with a woman you’d been flirting and not being able to go through…”

The bone on his throat bobs as he gulps and looks down to his lap.

“You may say this was enough to make you see you were wrong about the breakup and for distancing yourself, but this can’t be enough for a decision like that.” You nod towards the little box in his hand, “Those four months maybe haven’t been what you expected to be for you…And to be honest, they weren’t exactly what I expected to be for me, either,” you falter, but keep your head straight.

His head snaps back towards you and he just observes you for a brief moment, like he’s reading you anew, “What do you mean?” he asks quietly.

You’re not sure what you should answer to that when not even you have a clear understanding of what this time apart really meant for you. Your lips tighten before you speak, “You keep saying I’ve changed, maybe I did, I don’t know.” You shrug. “All I know is that I can’t accept your proposal. For the sake of us, Eddie. We can’t right the wrongs of our relationship just jumping to that,” you add, hoping that he would understand you.

His head drops and he takes in a shuddering breath, making your heart heavy. Your hands turn into nervous fists on your lap. He is important to you, there’s no way to deny that. Weeks ago it’s possible you wouldn’t even think twice or even consider the problems in your relationship before accepting the proposal with all your heart. But now, like you said, something has changed, something that made you realize all the problems in the path you two drove your relationship to.

Not to say that, in the deepest of your mind, there’s a chanting of another man’s name, a quiet but persistent echo. Still, you keep it aside for later deliberation. Now you focus on Eddie, the man you planned to spend a life with and who is before you, offering you to do just that and hearing a rejection from you.

His eyes close before he looks back at you, “Ok,” he nods, “I’m not saying I agree with all of that, but I accept your decision,” he sighs and you give him a small smile, “This is yours, though.” He takes your hands and puts the little box in it, shutting it so you can hold it.

Your mouth falls open while your eyes rounds, “Eddie, no, I can’t-”

“Please,” he urges, dragging himself closer to you, “This is yours. It doesn’t change by the fact you said no. Regardless if we stay together or not, I want you to have it, please,” he pleads, keeping his hand around yours, squeezing the little box tight in your hold.

The abandonment etched on his face is what makes you swallow dry and give him a small nod while your chest heavies, “Ok,” you whisper, “But- but it doesn’t change anything, Eddie,” you make sure to add.

He smiles a breathy smile and withdraws his hand from yours, letting you keep the box while you pull your hand, “I know, it’s ok… Can I ask you one more thing, though?”

“Alright,” you agree.

“You said you don’t wanna jump to marriage, that it can’t right the wrongs of our relationship. But…is there a chance for us at something in the middle? I mean, is there a chance for us to work things out?”

Your eyebrows dart high on your forehead. The question causes a cold pinch in your stomach. You think about all the time you spent together, all the hopes and dreams, the struggles, the good and the bad… Right now, if you dig into yourself and your feelings, he may not feel like the obvious choice for you, but there was a time, not so long ago, that he was and it felt right. You have to respect that, don’t you?

“Listen Eddie,” you speak softly, after clearing your throat, “Maybe we can start by seeing each other more frequently?” Your forehead scrunches after you present your offer, not sure how he’s going to take that. “We can keep talking, not holding back on things we have to say to each other, being honest… We can try to be friends for now, or something like that? And then we see how it all goes?”

“Friends?” Eddie snickers, “We were never friends.” He lets out a skeptical snort.

You shrug, “We can try… I don’t know… All I know is I’m not ready for more now and I need some time to put my thoughts together, and I think you need that, too.”

After just looking at you for a second, he puts on a small smile and covers your hand with his, “Alright. All the time you need. But now, just… let me…”

You watch when he leans over and moves his lips close to yours. After placing a hand on the nape of your neck, he waits for a reaction of some sort, but when you offer none and just stares at him, he kisses you.

Your eyes shut after a few seconds. It feels weird and familiar at the same time if that even makes sense. There’s a longing behind the gesture, a longing that makes your heart beat a bit faster… An urge grows in you, a tingle, a crucial need to...

Pulling away, you quickly turn your face to the other side before covering your mouth with you forearm and setting free the sneeze that was bubbling inside you.

You sniff and, with a frown, turn to a comically taken aback Eddie, “Alright, if we’re going to be around and honest with each other from now on, I’m sorry but you’ll have to get rid of that damn perfume.”

“Really? But you loved that perfume.”

Your lips form a thin line and you raise an eyebrow.

Realization dawns on his face, “Oh…I guess you didn’t.”

~~~

After promising you the perfume wouldn’t be a problem anymore, Eddie leaves with the compromise of calling you for a coffee soon. You realize you two never really talked about the condo and you wonder if that has anything to do with him being sure you two would end up together again.

If that’s the case, you’re definitely not as sure as he is. And it’s an odd feeling, not being sure about Eddie anymore. Even when things were bad, you were always sure about him.

Finding yourself alone again, you drop your body on your couch. You’re damn exhausted. Tilting your head to the side, your gaze meets the little box over the center table. You reach for it and open the lid. Without the adrenaline from before, you take your time to observe it.

You take in the thin straight white gold band that leads to the halo which holds the round and small brilliant cut diamond. You smile as you can tell he was thinking of you when he picked that ring. It’s simple and beautiful, something that wouldn’t attract much attention to your hand, like most of your jewelry.

Eddie has never been that great with making conversation or opening up with you- and maybe a few other actions - but he always knew exactly what to gift you. He has always been thoughtful with your taste and personality.

Without thinking much, you put on the ring. You sprawl your hand before you and have to acknowledge that it fits perfect. You wonder how much it would make you feel special not much time ago…

Letting out a groan, you drop the little box on the floor in favor to reach for your phone in your jeans’ pocket. Your thumb hovers the name that’s been nagging at the back of your mind this whole time. Without giving yourself much time to think, you press on the name.

Bucky “Soft Tongue” Barnes.

A little smile curls your lips. You really need to change that.

The ringing tone resounds in your ear as your breathing quickens. Why just the mere thought of talking to Bucky is making you so damn nervous? You wait… and wait. When it goes to the voicemail, you quickly hang up.

That’s the very first time Bucky doesn’t pick up when you call. The small frown between your eyebrows softens at the thought that he’s probably sleeping. It’s Sunday after all.

You huff while you hold your phone against your chest with one hand and digs your fingers into your hair with the other. You stare at the white ceiling above you… Shit… what the hell are you even doing. Calling Bucky right after being proposed by Eddie? And why in the world does your mind keep insisting on the thought of Bucky and you feel the need to talk all about that morning with him, to listen to whatever opinion he might have on that, or anything else he might have to say?

And why does your heart jump so funny when you remember his face… that stupid perfect face… and his smile…

Fuck…

That probably has something to do with the last couple of days you spent with him. First, he was your rock at your party, making it easier for you to have fun, and then taking care of your drunk ass. Then the next day at Brooklyn… and the night after that. It did feel different… maybe more intimate...

But it’s just an impression... The man has always made himself crystal clear – which, by the way, so did you - that what you had was sex, incredible and mind-blowing, of course, but just sex. He has never wanted anything other than that, and you’re definitely sure Bucky Barnes isn’t cut out for what comes in a relationship beyond the sex.

Shifting your gaze to the ring on your finger as you still hold your phone against you, your relationship with Eddie comes to your mind, how you always did everything together, the decisions regarding life, work and everything else were taken together, the dreams and growth, the stability and familiarity…You also think about the arguments… the silence and distance, the loss of the spark and the excitement of being together, the times you ended up erasing your likes and dislikes to avoid confrontation…

With a will of its own, your mind then navigates to Bucky again and what you had together this last month. You can’t imagine him, in all his glorious bachelor lifestyle, engaging in a relationship like that, with all the strings and emotional weight that surely come with it and, by your experience, ends up killing all the fun. Do you still want a relationship like that, though? Of course there’s its positive side, but what about all the negatives that stubbornly resist any relationship?

Also… seriously? Bucky’s the first man who’s nice to you after your break-up… The second you’ve had sex with. Ever. You can’t be so pathetic to the point of having a no strings attached relationship with a guy and start thinking, because he’s nice and kind to you, because you suddenly feel like you shared a special weekend with him, that it could lead to something different than that.

You groan as it frustrates you to no end the thought that you’re so weak that maybe you can’t be your own person and perhaps need to always be engaged in some kind of relationship or emotionally attached to someone, no matter if you know them for ten years or a month.

If Bucky were there, he would probably say the right thing, about how you’re overthinking all of it and you’re just a couple of rabbits fucking majestically and enjoying each other’s company. He would also say that you two were too smart to trade that for something as boring and dull as love. A loose smile twitches your lips.

You don’t need to fall for him just because you’re having sex… Just because he’s the most handsome and sexy man you’ve ever seen… Because he’s amazing in bed, respectful, kind, smart, funny, strong, thoughtful…

Jesus…

Immersed in your conflicting feelings and thoughts of Bucky, of Eddie, of yourself… you have no idea of when you end up falling asleep on your couch, but the ding of your doorbell wakes you up in a startle, you squint and brush your hand over your face before reaching for your phone that has fallen over the carpet. Your eyes widen at the clock. You’ve been sleeping for a little more than a couple of hours. As the doorbell rings again, you spot five missed calls. All of them from Bucky. And after swiftly getting up and rushing to the door, that’s the man you find behind it.

“Hey-”

You don’t even let him start talking before pulling him in into a hug, circling your arms around his neck and nestling your head against him. You don’t even know why you’re doing this, but you love the warmth of him wrapping you up, and you love that he holds you back immediately, without questions or further talking.

You let out a deep sigh, before leaning away and smiling at him, which he mimics.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi,” he says back, gazing at you with a distinguish softness in his eyes and a small but beautiful smile on his lips. “I saw your missed call, I tried to call you back a few times and when you didn’t answer I thought maybe I should drop by,” he says.

“Good,” you breathe and turn, taking his hand and guiding him inside as he shuts the door with his foot behind him.

He pulls your hand, making you stop on your track and face him again. The softness from before gives place to a nervous little frown on his face, “I- I need to talk to you -”

”Eddie proposed to me.” You don’t know if it’s the little tremble on his voice, his very presence, or the fact that they were choking in your throat, but the information spills from your mouth unannounced.

The words catch on Bucky’s throat as he inhales sharply. He takes a step back at the same time his rounded eyes drop to your hand, which is still laced on his. The blood seems to vanish from his face.

You follow his stare and that’s when your eyes ball out because you realize you’re still wearing the ring. Acting by impulse, you take your hand away from his and move to pull the ring off your finger, “I-I didn’t say yes,” you quickly clarify, but the damn ring doesn’t budge even with your harsh attempts of taking it off and a desperate feeling lodges at the pit of your stomach because goddammit it had fit perfectly moments ago. You groan in sheer frustration, looking down and pulling even more forcefully, “I was just trying it on-I-“.

Gentle hands cover yours. Your mouth snaps shut and your hasty ministrations halts. You look up and take in the sight of his eyes on you. They are softer now and it calms you down, just like the light massaging circles he draws on your skin. A caress. While you keep your eyes on each other, he twirls the ring, which now moves with ease, and ever so slowly, he pulls it through the length of your finger, till it’s completely off of you.

Holding it with his thumb and index finger, he observes the shiny little jewel between the two of you, his expression unreadable, before he offers it back to you.

Like waking up from a daze, you’re quick to accept it and place it on the center table at your side.

“I told him this wasn’t the time to think about that...” you say, your voice coming out timid as you fidget with your fingers.

Bucky remains quiet, putting his hands in his pockets, that same unreadable expression still on his face. He nods, though, for you to continue, “We talked a lot. He asked if we still had a chance and I said we should start off by seeing each other more, like friends or something like that, and then see what happens.” You purse your lips.

“Oh…” he mumbles.

You wait for him to say anything else, but he doesn’t. He just seems lost for speech and that’s news for you.

“It was a hectic morning,” you let out a nervous little laugh, “I called you because I kind of wanted to talk to you… I mean…What do you think?” You bite your cheek.

“Of what?” He blinks.

“All of that… The proposal, my answer…” your voice fails.

Bucky clears his throat before he nods, “Well… what more did he tell you exactly?”

You then pull him to sit on the sofa with you and you tell him everything Eddie had said right there on that same sofa, trying hard to not let any detail out. For some reason knowing what Bucky would have to say about that is all that matters to you right now.

“Hold on.” Bucky holds up both his hands as a crease appears between his eyebrows, “Are you telling me he decided to break up with you without even trying to work things out, really talk to you about whatever shitty crises he was going through and then comes here after four months of radio silence, right after seeing you close to me and after he tried to hook up with someone else?” He scoffs, shaking his head before getting up, turning his back to you.

You watch, still on your seat, as he runs a hand over his face, before you get up and puts a hand on his back, you’ve never seen him that agitated, “Bucky…”

He swiftly turns to you, gesticulating with his arms and hands as he speaks, “Sounds like this guy’s single life wasn’t exactly what he thought it would be and the moment he realized maybe it was going a lot nicer for you, he decides he better jump in again, that he’s ready and shit? Sounds like he still doesn’t know what he really wants and is taking a shot at you like some impulsive and jealous asshole. Fuck this guy,” he spits as his cheeks flush red.

His reaction takes you off course for a bit. He’s been always honest and straightforward with you, but you didn’t expect such an emotion outrage from him. You talked about Eddie many times with him and it was never like that, “I-I… yeah, I know, Bucky. I’m not blind to that, which is what I told him after he proposed.”

“And yet, you’re talking about starting to see him again,” he states and if he wanted to sound like an accusation you didn’t know, but it sure sounds like it.

“Bucky, it’s ten years,” you argue, not sure why this seems to be escalating to, not a fight, but at least a heated debate, “I can’t just erase this time and what it meant to me. That’s a great part of my whole adult life. We lived together, did everything together. I loved him. You have no idea what it’s like to have a relationship like that.”

His jaw clenches, before he gives his back to you. His head drops and he puts his hands on both sides of his waist.

You shift on your feet, wondering whether you have maybe crossed a line there. This kind of heat up interaction with Bucky is news and completely strange to you. But when you’re about to say something, you hear the low groan that come out of his mouth.

“A man who won’t even eat your pussy...” he shakes his head, utter exasperation on his voice.

Your jaw drops before a small gasp slips through your lips. You don’t take it as an offense or anything like that, because when he said it, it wasn’t in an accusing tone like before, let alone aggressive. It’s just like he’s genuinely confused by why you would have such consideration for a man who wouldn’t go down on you.

“Bucky,” you let out a breathy laugh, “What the hell is going on with you?” You tilt your head while he still has his back to you, “If I didn’t know you better I would say you were jealous.”

His head snaps up at your comment and he turns to face you. His lower lip is trapped between his teeth. There’s something of anguish on his eyes and the amusement in your face drops at his demeanor.

“That’s because I am,” he affirms, short of breath.

Your eyes widen for a second before you frown and your head shakes lightly with confusion, “What?”

“I’m jealous, ok? I’m jealous, that’s it.” His face reddens even harder as his voice raises and he gesticulates, indignation pouring out from him, “Your ex is a douche who didn’t appreciate what he had and now decides he can come here and fuck up with what we have?”

A shocked breath comes out of your lips, “What we have? Bucky, you were the first one to be sure our deal wouldn’t be exclusive, and that was fine by me. I talked about Eddie with you countless times and it was fine, I don’t get why you’re saying and acting like that now.”

“Yeah, I know all of that, but things change, I guess…shit.” He curses and covers his eyes with both hands and takes a few breaths before looking at you again, “I didn’t want to tell you like that,” he says in a softer way right before he clenches his teeth again, “But that jerk had to come here first…”

“Didn’t want to tell me what exactly, Bucky?” you question.

He looks at you for a second, the agitation slowly leaving his features before he walks over you and takes you by the hand to guide you to sit on the sofa again, “Listen,” he says, as you sit beside him, intently listening to him, “It’s been some time I’ve been feeling kind of weird towards you. Us, I mean.” He gulps, “A kind of feeling that confused the hell out of me for quite some time.”

“Ok…” Your heart races in your chest, but you still have no idea where this is going, so you decide to not say anything else and let him talk so maybe you can get a better grasp on what the hell is going on.

“You know this morning, when you picked up Eddie’s phone and said he could come over?”

Your eyes move away from his for a second, since you’re not exactly proud of the fact that you did tell Eddie to come over when he was still there, but Bucky said it himself it was ok… clearly it was not.

“We had just had an amazing day and night together and I was even more confused when I got out of here,” he continues, ”I needed to check something, to fully understand what was happening, so I called Amanda.”

“Oh… really?” A piercing ache bites on your chest at the information. Are you the one who’s jealous now? “Were you with her when I called you? That’s why you didn’t pick up?” You ask, trying not to let your unexpected feeling show, but you’re not sure whether you’re succeeding or not.

“Yeah,” he admits with a small nod.

The answer makes you flinch on your seat, “And you wanna talk to me about jealousy,” you scoff, crossing your arms in front of you, the annoyance slipping through your tone, “That’s really funny, Bucky, don’t you think?”

“But… I-I,” he seems lost for a moment, “Listen, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ never have, not gonna start now. I called her with the idea of having sex with her, yeah. Ever since I met you I hadn’t slept with anyone else and I thought that maybe that was the reason I was feeling so weird-“

“Wait…Really? You hadn’t been with anyone else?” You interrupt him, since the information piques your interest. Now that he mentions it, you have a vague memory of someone telling you that exact same thing at the party while you were too shitfaced to process the info. What an irony that the someone was precisely Amanda.

“No, and I still haven’t because I couldn’t even get it up,” he discloses with pure exasperation.

“What?” You lift both your eyebrows, “You couldn’t get it up?” You practically squeal, “Is that… is that even possible?” You reach over his forehead to check his temperature, “Are you ok?”

Taking your hand in his, he lets out a chuckle, but there’s no humor behind it, “I called her because I thought that if I hooked up with someone else, maybe things would be clearer or whatever. And they did.” He huffs, nodding down to his lower half, “The jerk down there decided to throw on my face something I think I’ve known for a while but had no idea what to make of it.”

He pauses and takes a few breathes, looking down as if he needs to gather some courage and you squeeze his hand, trying to provide him what he needs to keep talking. When he looks back at you, there’s a small reassuring smile on your face waiting for him and the next words he says bursts out from his lips.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Silence settles in the room. You still have your hand on his while he stares at you expectantly. You stare back at him. Something starts bubbling in your chest. It grows bigger and bigger till it runs up your throat and spurts from your lips in the form of a laugh. A big and hysterical one.

You let go of his hand to lightly push him on his shoulder, “Oh my God, Bucky,” you say, as tears form in the corner of your eyes of how much you’re laughing, “Only you can come up with a story like that to make me laugh now.” You point at him, “You finding out you’re in love with me because of a limp-dick.” You laugh even harder.

It's when you move to tap on his shoulder again that you focus on his face to see the lack of amusement on it. He has a sad and almost embarrassed gaze fixed on you as his lips form a frown.

The laugh dies on your lips.

“Oh…” you breathe, while realization finally comes to you, “You’re not kidding.”

He gives you a tight-lip smile.

“Oh…” you say again, any other word vanishing from your mind as you shift and lean back on your seat, staring ahead and away from him. Bucky has just said he thinks he’s in love with you.

Bucky…

In love with you…

“I know this wasn’t the ideal way and time to tell you, I know,” he starts talking in a hurry beside you, but you keep staring ahead, unable to move from your position, as a whole new bubble starts taking form in your chest and throat, taking over your senses, “And I know you didn’t expect that from me, hell, I certainly wasn’t expect that myself, but it just happened and I was confused, but I’m not anymore, I know what I’m feeling and… Y/N?” he suddenly interrupts his rambling, “Are you… are you crying?”

You turn to him again and see the widening of his eyes when he catches the evidence for his suspicion, “Yes,” you cry out, as tears run down unbidden your cheeks, “Yes, I’m crying, I’m sorry,” you hide your face in your hands.

“No, no, no, no, sweetheart,” he reaches over you, desperation etched on his voice as he wraps your shaking shoulder in a tight hug, “Please don’t cry… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything…I don’t wanna see you like that. Please don’t cry.” His voice shakes, “Or I’m gonna cry, too.” And as if on cue, you hear the sniffles.

Burying your cheeks on his shirt, dampening the fabric with tears, you let yourself be hugged by him. And, just like that, you live the most pathetic scene of your life, two grown ass adults holding each other and sobbing like babies, without saying anything for God knows how many minutes.

You have no idea what has come over you, but hearing him saying that, right after being proposed by Eddie, after finding yourself with such conflicting thoughts and feelings, must have triggered something inside you.

When your shoulders stop shaking so much and the tears seem to give you two a truce, you lean away from him, “I’m sorry, Bucky,” you say, wiping the wetness from the corner of your eyes with your fingers, “This was ridiculous, God… I guess it’s been an intense day…” you take in a shuddering breath.

“No, no,” He swipes the back of his hand on his cheeks, brushing out the wetness from there, “I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m the one who’s sorry. Let’s forget all about it-”

“No,” you cut him off, “No, Bucky, it’s ok, I’m glad you told me,” you put some softness in your voice for the huge man who has just cried his eyeballs out with you, “But… Are you sure? I mean… it’s you.” Shrugging your shoulder, you gesture towards him with both your hands, “That’s not what you want, it’s against all of your life philosophy, your lifestyle.”

He chuckles and his gaze drops, before they’re on you again, “You know, I’ve never taken anyone else to that burger joint, I’ve never shown that picture to anyone and even less talked about my sisters… my mom... Then our night together, right here in your bedroom?” He points towards the room, “I’ve had tons, I mean, tons of sex my whole life, I don’t need to lie about that. But I never had a night like that with anyone else. That wasn’t just sex and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”

You’re entranced by his words and you feel yourself shrinking under the intensity of his gaze on you, of the sentiment that sweeps into his voice. There’s not a bone in you that makes you contradict what he’s saying. It was a special night. Moments ago, you were still daydreaming about it.

“I know it sounds weird coming from me,” he breathes, “I know everything I said and even bragged about before is coming to bite me in the ass right now,” his jaw tightens, ”But I’m certain of what I’m feeling… I think about you all the damn time, sweetheart… I look at you and I wanna laugh and cry all at once,” he scoffs, gesturing towards his reddened eyes, and you can’t help but to let out a breathy smile. “I’m in love with you,” he bores his gaze on you. “Fuck whatever I ever wanted before. I want you now.”

You take in a deep breath, trying to breathe in the air his words knocked out of your lungs. You’re in a loss for words. In all the scenarios you pictured for this deal of Bucky and yours - which weren’t that many, since you jumped in with the mindset of seizing the moment with him – you’ve never seen that one happening: him coming over to tell you he’s fallen for you. As much as his confession sparks something inside you, that’s so unlike him, that you need to be the voice of reason there.

“Bucky…” you call softly, putting your other hand over the one that you’re already holding. You look down at it, before turning to him again, watching anxious blue eyes on yours, “You said Eddie only decided to come here and propose after seeing me with you and after trying to hook up with someone else. As you said, it shows that he’s just being impulsive and might not know what he genuinely wants, right?”

“Yeah…” He nods after clearing his throat. Apparently, that’s not what he expected you to say after he poured his heart out for you, “Because that’s the truth, the guy doesn’t know what he really wants.” He shrugs.

You offer him a tight but kind smile, “Don’t you see the similarity here?”

His forehead creases at your question.

You keep a gentle gaze on him as you speak, “This morning you went out of here after Eddie called. You knew he was coming. Then, you tried hooking up with Amanda… That didn’t work out…” You shake your head, “Now you’re here, telling me you’re in love with me, after practically seeing me with someone else and trying to have sex with another woman and not being able to go through with it.”

You see realization dawning on his face, as he understands what you’re trying to say, “No… no, that’s different.” He swiftly shakes his head.

“How so?” You insist.

“I know what I’m feeling, Y/n.” He says with firmness in his voice, “I’ve been trying to understand these feelings for a while now. The situation may have pushed me further, but it’s not the cause of anything. I’m not acting by impulse, please believe me,” he begs.

“I’m not saying you’re not feeling anything, Bucky,” you counter, “Our time together was so special,” you smile, “I’m not blind to that… and I think… I think I-I-“

Your mouth shuts and you bite your lower lip. You almost say that there’s a chance you’ve developed feelings for him, too. But you don’t really know what those feelings mean and what you really want. You don’t really know much about them, but it’s been just one day and one night that have made you notice those sentiments… you don’t wanna lead him or even yourself on, based on feelings that have just shown up and you still have no idea where this is going.

Plus… there’s Eddie. The mere thought of him drops a weight over your shoulders.

“I-I’m confused, Bucky,” you say, instead of saying all of that, but that’s not a lie. Not at all. “I don’t really know what to feel or think… There’s a great chance you’re confused by your own feelings, too. And maybe after Eddie appeared on the scene those feelings might be doing a number on your mind and making you take them as something deeper than they really are.”

“That’s… you’re wrong, I know what I’m feeling,” he says softly, his head dropping to your joined hands, where he caresses your skin with his thumb.

“Bucky…” you sigh, “Even if you’re really in love with me like you say you are… You never wanted that,” you try to reason, as he looks up at you, “With that kind of sentiment comes commitment, and commitment is not a piece of cake. Most of the time it leads to a broken heart, most likely two. Believe me, I know.”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you. Your heart is tight by the traces of sorrow you catch behind the look on his face and you hate to be the one to put it there. But at that moment, that’s all you can give him,

“As for me,” you nod, as if to engrave the thought into your mind, “I think what I need now is to be alone for a while… My entire adult life I was never single. I need to figure out who I am without having someone to lean on emotionally, physically and… I don’t know...You-you know what I’m saying? But, please, I don’t wanna hurt you, I-” You stammer, annoyed that the air you’re breathing suddenly seems to not be enough to fill your lungs.

“Hey, hey,” he soothes, dragging himself through the cushions to come even closer to you as he notices your increasing distress, “It’s ok,” he says, taking your hand to his lips and placing a kiss on it, coaxing a short gasp out of you, “I get what you’re saying, and I respect that. I do.” He offers you a comforting smile.

The sorrow you’ve seen moments ago is not on his gaze anymore, and it helps to ease down your breathing and mind, driving you to focus solely on him, his voice and what he’s saying.

“I don’t want to force myself or my feelings on you, and you don't need to worry about hurting me, sweetheart. It's ok. I promise. I’m a grown ass man, I might’ve been confused, but I can handle my own feelings.” A kind of sweetness you’ve never heard from him laces his voice, “I just need you to understand one thing, though.” His features turn a bit more serious, “I know what I’m feeling, no matter how much time passes and no matter if it’s the same for you or not. It doesn’t change anything for me. I was confused before, I was. But I’m not anymore.”

“Ok,” a low mumble is all you manage to provide as an answer, stunned by both the words and the certainty he reveals through them.

“Are we good?” He checks.

“We’re good.”

He smiles, a bright and gentle grin, and it’s the Bucky you’ve spent almost every day of the last month on his demeanor again. You smile back, feeling your shoulders a bit lighter.

“I have one more question, though. I’m new to this whole express feelings stuff,” he grimaces playfully, “Did I screw everything up?” He asks, but there’s no weight on his words while his forehead scrunches up a bit, but the smile lingers on his lips.

You laugh a little, before bringing a hand to cup his cheek, “You didn’t screw anything up and I’m not dismissing what you’re telling me you’re feeling, Bucky, it’s not that at all.” You shake your head and it feels cozy inside your chest as he leans his cheek against the touch of your hand, “I just think we both need to take our time and understand our feelings straight. You and me.” You lightly stroke his cheek with your thumb.

“Does that mean our deal is off?” He asks with a cringing curve on his lips.

You let out a chuckle, bringing your hand to your lap, “Let’s call it suspended for now, how about that?”

He shrugs, “Ok, but Little Bucky down there is going to be very upset, he turned out to have a strict preference.”

“Oh my God.” You let out a loud laugh, “Little Bucky? Seriously?”

“Don’t make fun of him, he’s very sensitive today.” He puts on an exaggerated pout.

Your head falls back from how much you laugh, being followed shortly by him. You don’t know if it’s a habit developed in the last month or something bigger than that, but you can’t help when your lips and his meet. He sighs through the kiss, which starts slow and gentle, but next thing you know, you’re both breathing hard and you have your fingers buried through his locks as he pulls you by the waist, his broad body on yours, his arms around you, his heat burning you up while your heart beats fast against his chest…

You have to put together every little ounce of strength inside you to part your lips from him, letting your forehead rest against his.

“Bucky…” you whisper, trying to catch some hair, “We shouldn’t-“.

“See you around, sweetheart,” he says back and, after placing a long kiss on your forehead, he gets up and walks towards the door, sporting a cheeky little smirk on his lips that makes your heart race even more.

~~~

To be continued...

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #marvel fanfiction #it's a deal #bucky barnes series #it's a deal chapter 10

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its-me-im-coraline · 4 years ago

Text

A tie between us and some hope // E.T.

words // 1505

warnings // a little bit of angst but overall fluff

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. ooof im really feeling like a mess today i hope it does not show on this one, i thought i'd feel better than yesterday but my mental state is worse todays... anyway, my oversharing ends here, i hope you enjoy this lovies!! oh also, i am using some epithets (lol) in italian with the endings in -o because i can not for the love of me find specifically gn pet names on the internet or im just bad at looking but i am tired of only ever using 'amore' lol.

request // yes through a reblog so i will not link it right now

summary // Part three of Secrets and fights and Torna a casa. After Ethan showed up in readers house that night the two have started trying to work on being together again. But there are always new problems to arise.

After that night passed, when Ethan had found himself on his love’s doorstep things started looking up. The man started being more consistent in taking care of himself, finally feeling like his able to breathe, like things were taking their rightful place again. He kept himself and his space put together, finding himself far out of the rut he was put into after the short-lived breakup.

Although things seemed to be better, nothing was yet back to how it was between him and Y/N. The two found themselves constantly around each other, be it little dates around the city- not caring about paparazzi at this point, other times just staying in and cuddling while watching a movie, or even going on a walk some nights, smoking and joking while talking about the deepest and shallowest things the pair could think of. It felt as if the intimacy that was previously been built had not gone away, it was still there, strong as ever, the trust being hard to be built again.

“Goodmorning, dolcesso,” uttered the man, a soft smile on his face as he walked through the open door, a bag of fresh pastries in his hands, the refreshing smell of coffee embracing his presence in the small home.

Y/N, barely awake, but always with a deep love for the pastries Ethan picked up, moved towards him, taking the bag from his hands, humming in appreciation as they opened it, looking at today’s picks. “These smell wonderful, Ethan,” they mumbled before taking a bite from the first one they found.

He smiled a bit, looking at the person before him, mumbling a quiet response. “I always pick the best ones for you, beautiful.”

If it was possible to fall in love with a person again, then Ethan was definitely living that moment when Y/N gave him the stupidest and most childish smile, a spark in their eyes he missed while they were awake.

How could I have said those things to them, he thought while looking at said person enjoying their breakfast standing in front of the small kitchen and admiring the minimal city view. It was not much but it surely was something they enjoyed watching in the mornings or as the sun set. No matter how bad it would imprint on the photos they took, it was a breathtaking view they never got enough of.

Just another thing Ethan loved about them, finding such beauty in something so seemingly insignificant. He loved looking at them in moments like that, knowing how much in a trance they were, too deep in the beauty their eyes took in to say anything. Before the man could stop himself he utter the same three words from a few nights ago, “I love you”.

Y/N’s eyes widened, the information was not new but they did not expect this to be brought up again any time soon. “Ethan - I-I, uh-”

“You don’t have to say it back, cucciolo. I know how I feel, I am very sure of that. You don’t have to be there yet, you don’t have to say it… Not after what I said.”

They took a deep breath at that, one they had not realized they held back, still feeling guilty about their inability to simply say words. It is not that they did not feel it, was it?

It was not the last time this would happen. Only a few nights later, a similar incident occurred, Ethan admiring the person he is in love with, their eyes focused on their book, or at least trying to in the dark light they found themselves, a cigarette alternating from their lips to the ashtray on their side, looking like the perfect view at the side of the beach. Considering how hot the weather had been, the pair and their friends agreed on a field trip, the idea being they would either camp there that night or book a hotel room last minute. No one was going to drive that night, no one had to worry about having some alcohol in their system, so beers were a big thing around them, being passed back and forth.

“Hey, Y/N, do you want a beer?” Asked Victoria, getting up to pick one for her self, the other person nodding before she gave them their beer.

“I’d ask you as well Ethan, but seems you are too drunk on Y/N to drink any more beer,” she commented bringing forth a heatwave to happen on Y/N’s face and causing a big grin to cover the drummer’s face.

“What can I say? Can’t hide that I love them, can I?” Everyone laughed it off, Y/N included, but they felt slightly uncomfortable at the man’s words.

They had thought about it last time Ethan brought his feelings forth, knowing very well how they felt the same. They simply could not bring themselves to say it back. Maybe it had something to do with their life before him, and they would have a hard time saying it anyway, or maybe it had something to do with the loss of trust in the man after the pictures of the two kissing. Did he really love them if he was willing to say those things.

“Stop worrying so much about it, amore,” whispered Ethan, noticing Y/N’s state. “I told you, you don’t have to say it back, every one takes a different amount of time to do that.”

His tone and expression were reassuring but they knew this was hurting him a lot on the inside. So they apologized, looking down, ashamed, unsure… The whole situation created a whirlwind in their mind they could not control at the moment, instead opting for jumping into the cold water of the sea beside them, being sure that a bit of swimming would clear up their thoughts.

The same incident happened a few more times, Ethan never being able to contain his words, justifying it by saying how “I am simply trying to remind you that I meant what I said that night”. But Y/N was feeling pressured, as if the man was giving them a timeline, a reminder that they need to decide or it will be to late. One night, they could not take it any more, so they simply confronted him about it. He had just said it again, thankfully they were alone this time, meaning they could say all that they wanted.

“Why do you keep saying that, Ethan?”

“What do you even mean by that, Y/N?” He was simply taken aback, expecting everything but such anger after mentioning how he loves them.

“You keep saying how you love me, and you simply remind me of it, but man does it feel like you are trying to pry these words out of my mouth.”

“I would never do that and you know it!” Now the man was getting fed up as well. How could they accuse him of such thing?!

“Do I, Ethan? Do you even truly love me?”

“Wha- of course I do! What is this? Where is this coming from?”

“Did you love me when the photos of us came to the public?” They asked, voice now quiet, a contrast to their previous tone.

“What are you talking about amore, of course I did,” he responded just as softly, placing the palm of his hand over their face, swiftly collecting the few tears falling from their eyes. “Why are you crying, my love? What are you thinking?”

Y/N could not take it any more, they broke down in seconds, falling into Ethan’s open arms, soft sobs leaving their lips. “You- you said all those things that morning, a-and,” they hiccuped, “I-I am scared, Ethan…”

Their eyes were cast to the floor but Ethan could still see all the thoughts behind them. He finally realized what was happening, so he placed a kiss on their forehead, prompting them to finish their thought. “Could you really say those things if you loved me?” They whispered, moving away from the tall Italian, eyes cast to the floor and ever meeting his.

“Hey, hey look at me! What I said that morning came from a place of anxiety, overwhelming one at that. It does not mean it’s ok that I said that, of course not. But never doubt how much I love you, Y/N.” He paused for a second, his voice trembling as the words came out.

“Cause I do, and I did, but I could not control my emotions, instead I ended hurting yours. I don’t how many times I’ve apologized, but I will apologize that many more. I am sorry, sorry I made you feel so horrible, sorry for all the things I said, sorry for everything.” He said just as softly as before, hands cupping their face before leaving a deep kiss there.

“I love you,” finally said Y/N, feeling more sure and secure than they have for a while.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio

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angstymarauder · 4 years ago

Text

His Time of the Month {R.L} (Part 2)

Remus Lupin x Female!reader part 1

summary: You know about your boyfriends lycanthropy and you love him regardless, but sometimes the words he speaks on the days leading up to the full moon still hurt. A lot.

word count: 1.1kish

contains: angst, troubles with self-worth, ending is left up to interpretation

a/n: the reader has trouble with self-worth in this and I would just like to say that your feelings and self-worth should NEVER EVER rely on the words of others, especially those of your loved ones. I know how hard it is to hear people, who say they love you, ridicule you, and say things that make you feel like shit. And its like - you know they don’t mean to hurt you, but it doesn't change how much pain you feel. I’ve been there (and sometimes I still go there) and while it is a big process filled with tears, cutting people off, arguments defending yourself, and just a lot a lot a lot of self-acceptance, it is possible to stop letting them get to you. YOU are the only validation you need. I love you for who you are and you should love yourself for who you are. My messages are always open, loves <3

He messed up.

And he knew he messed up, but his own mind was working against him and at that moment his rational mind couldn’t overpower the anger that had been building up all day.

Always his enemy, he wanted to blame the lycanthropy, but his rational mind knew that this was all his fault. You have been nothing but loving and understanding about everything when it came to his condition. Night after night you had sat there, taking his screaming and yelling, trying to calm him down, never leaving an argument with unresolved issues, but tonight he watched himself jump over the line that you had pushed back for his time and time again.

Remus stood in the now-empty tower, the sounds of your fading footsteps running down the stairs, each step another ache in his chest. The anger in his mind was screaming at your retreating footsteps. Words of detest, saying that you hated him. That you gave up on him. That you thought he was a monster just like everyone else. But the rational part of his mind sat in the back of his head screaming the truth over all the other noise and he knows he can’t blame you for this. He knows this is his fault. And somehow that idea just made him even angrier.

Angry at his lycanthropy. Angry at the world. Angry at everyone else.

But most of all, he was angry at himself, because he never wanted to hurt you.

Because he doesn't know what he would do without you. Losing you would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him. It would be like ripping all the pieces of his human heart straight out of his chest, leaving only the animalistic urges that show themselves once a month. Without you he might as well never transform back, find a way to stay a werewolf forever.

Suddenly Remus’ senses pick up on footsteps, coming up the stairs this time. He knew whose steps those belonged to, so when James opened the door to the West Tower, Remus was not surprised. Breathlessly, from running up all those stairs, James said “what…. the fuck …. is happening ….up …. here?” taking a breath in between each couple of words.

Running his scarred fingers through his hair, Remus turned to look at his sweaty friend. “I fucked up. I fucked up big time.” He began pacing, the events becoming clearer and more realistic in his mind with each word, “With y/n, I fucked up big time.”

· · · ∞ · · ·

“HE SAID WHAT?” screamed Marlene, now pacing around your shared dorm room, “I’m going to kill that lanky-ass son-of-a-bitch.”

“Marls, please,” Lily spoke softly after glancing at your tired expression. Heartache tends to wear a person out.

The redhead sat down beside you at the edge of your bed, running her hand up and down your back, allowing you to relax a little more. Whispering in your ear so the others didn’t hear, she spoke, “listen, just wait until Tuesday, after the full moon once he’s all cooled down, and then talk to him, ok?”

You nodded at her words even though they barely entered your mind, your head already racing with thoughts you couldn’t bring yourself to say out loud. Lily soon ushered you to sleep, the exhaustion evident in your eyes.

But you couldn’t fall asleep. Questions floating around as your brain sprinted marathons in your head, trying to answer them, and coming up with nothing. Could you ever trust Remus again? How do you know that the next time you fight he won’t say those words again? Did he mean them? Or was it his lycanthropy? How much of these arguments can you even blame on his lycanthropy? And when does it become his fault? You can’t use his lycanthropy as an excuse for everything, but you also don’t want to use it against him….

Did he mean them? That was the question your mind kept circling back around to. Did he mean them? Are your worst fears and deepest insecurities true? Are you good enough? If the person who has told you they’re in love with you, time and time again, doesn’t think so, then how are you supposed to?

Tossing and turning, you woke up, no less tired than the night before. It took effort to get dressed that morning, almost wanting to stay in bed all day, but knowing you couldn’t. Marlene, Lily, and Mary persuaded you to breakfast in the Great Hall. You avoided Remus, in fact, you avoided all of the Marauders. Their presence, only a reminders of your bleeding heart. Remus seemed to be giving you space and, for that, you were grateful. But just the mere sight of him sent you back to your bedroom where you spent the rest of the day, claiming illness to your professors.

· · · ∞ · · ·

It was 3am, you assumed, as you got out of bed. In only your pajamas you quietly made your way through the halls without interruption. Your feet leading you to the top of the astronomy tower where you stared at the sky.

The full moon. Your voice quivered above a whisper as you cast a small silencing spell before allowing sobs to begin escaping your mouth. You thought about Remus as you stared into the moon. Hearing his howls in the distance, you couldn’t help yourself from asking the stars to keep a watch over him.

· · · ∞ · · ·

They found you passed out in the astronomy tower, Lily and Mary, your tear-stained cheeks and dark circles made your previous actions evident. Your roommates came searching for you as soon as they woke up to find your bed empty.

Mary insisted on taking you to the infirmary. Lily, as the only other girl who knew about Remus’ lycanthropy, tried to stop it, but Mary wasn’t hearing it.

Your body began to wake up, your consciousness returning to you slowly, allowing yourself to regain feeling in your fingers and your toes before attempting to open your eyes.

You’ve been in the infirmary plenty of times to visit Remus, but you’ve never been in one of the beds before. You don’t even remember how you got here. Sorting through your memories you last remember being in the astronomy tower staring at… the moon. It was the full moon last night, which means -

“Hey.” He spoke softly. You could feel his eyes staring into your figure. Remus was so surprised when he woke up in the infirmary, the night after one of his worst full moons, to see you two beds over. Your skin lacked its normal shine and tears still stained your beautiful lips. His heart ached over knowing that it was he who caused them. He knows that James said to give you some time, but seeing you here like this, he had to let you know how sorry he was.

You turn to face him, your eyes locking almost instantly, “hey.”

His eyes bore into yours, an expression of complete love, sorrow, and vulnerability filled every inch of them and as he spoke the words, “I’m sorry,” you knew they were true.

lol i was so confused on how to end this and every ending I wrote felt wrong so I'm just gonna leave it up to your imaginations, sorry

#remus lupin #remus lupin angst #remus angst #lupin angst #full moon #marauders #marauders angst #marauders era #angst #remus one shot #remus drabble #lilypotter #lily potter #remus x y/n #remus x reader #james potter #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald

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