#i swear i'm the least intimidating person irl

[cosmiclion]

Love how every post from your blog sounds like you dare people to come fight you on a subject lmao no matter what it is

Vbvbcnj I just realized that the "you've been warned" makes it sound like I'm in a "come at me bro" mood I swear it wasn't my intention 😭

[dustofthedailylife]

Someone irl told me that they were too scared to talk to me because they were intimidated by me?? 😭

Why do I keep hearing this?! I'm some 5"4, socially awkward and super introverted gremlin. Chances are I'm more scared of you than you're of me.

I'm the least intimidating person ever, I swear 😭

[jujutsustraycats]

Kirakira oh my gods. I will actually cry 🥹 you're like one of the few people I clicked so fast with, you were always so pleasant and nice to talk to, and so fucking talented and amazing and ilysm you're a goddess. My twin flame. We really should've been together irl 🥹🥹🥹

Going with the rest:

@someprettyname MY FIRST SISTER. DO YOU KNOW THE GODDAMN IMPACT YOU'VE HAD ON ME? We started talking over Rin and Nagi, and slowly went from Blue Lock to other topics too, and I swear, it's like we've always been siblings now. You're the reason I found all of the other friends I mention here, and I'm thankful to you for that. You're strong, smart, energetic, and really someone I can look up to in all terms. I love you, chechi, keep shining like a star.

@soleilonthesun You're the sunshine. Literally the sunshine. Your sweet, kind nature and the brightness that shines through even in messages is genuinely something refreshing and healing. Talking to you always leaves me with my heart feeling warm and whole, because you're so positive that it makes me feel less negative, too.

@melodiclune Where do I even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. You're literally one of the most grounding figures I've ever had in my life (yes, not just online), and while we don't talk much right now, you're someone I hold so high in my heart because you're the version of myself I want to be, and I know I can completely open up to you. You've been there like a solid figure to return to, and I can only hope to repay that someday. You're amazing, kinder than you think, and someone I can truly see being close with in real life, too. You're also our beloved Rin, hehe.

@sharkissm It's literally so strange to think about that we were once sort of awkward friends through Kira and Ells, and now you're someone I message or see once at least every day. Literally the Bokuto to my Akaashi <3 and you're someone who deserves a lot more credit than you give yourself. You're a great friend and someone I can relax enough to speak with openly, and I cherish that.

@kuro-min what do I even say. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. YOU WERE ANOTHER ONE OF MY FIRST FRIENDS HERE I REMEMBER. You were always so sweet and nice to talk to, I remember relaxing after getting to know you. It baffles me I used to be intimidated by you, because I thought you were cool. No longer intimidated, but you're one of the coolest people I've met, and I want you to know that most of us wouldn't even be this active on the server if it weren't for you.

@luvingshidou QUEEN. We don't talk much anymore, but I remember you, alongside Ells and Kira, being one of the first friends I had on the server, so you've touched my heart. You were one of the people who made me smile a lot, with your chill but friendly nature, and I'm glad to be your friend. I really hope we can talk more!

@i-am-so-strange It's not long that we've known each other, we don't talk much either, but you've genuinely made me feel safe in the short time we've properly talked to each other. And you're so fun to talk to! You are also another inspiring person I met, and I'm truly glad I got to meet you, because your friendship means a lot to me 🫶

And to the entirety of GFFC too, because you're an unforgettable team that has made me feel a lot more happier than I was before.

[allywritesforfun]

Ok, ok. Here me out. Warden Sam but it’s irl and reader is a criminal?

omg yes! I love this idea! lets goooo

{Locked Up Heart} irl!warden!awesamdude x Reader

summary: sam is your block warden at a top notch prison and your start to notice that he's spending a lot of time watching you compared to other cellmates

pronouns: not mentioned

word count: 1956

trigger warnings: swearing, mention of murders, mention of rape, anxiety attack, angsty

part 2

masterlist

You were at the point where sitting on the cold, wet, ground felt more humane than sitting on the sorry excuse they had for a bed. A flimsy metal sheet on top of cracked concrete brick was all that they gave you to sleep on. Not even a pillow. You did get a torn up, off-white sheet, however. Some nights you had to make the hard choice of using the sheet as a pillow instead of warmth. You've tried to take off your clothes before and use them as a pillow, but they tried to label you as a "sexual offender" just because you didn't want to wake up with knots in your neck.

You sat on the floor, head against the grey wall. There was nothing to do. It sucked. You heard your cell door bars clank. You looked up, "You again?"

It was Warden Sam. Damn man was in your cell almost every hour it felt like. He claims it was every twelve hours, but he took the clock away. The only sense of time that you had was the sun that peaked through the main door.

"Yes, me. Don't make me sound so bad," He threatened. "As far as I'm aware, I'm the only one you have to talk to."

He leaned up against the wall, looking down on you. He tried to be intimidating but you never thought he was. You only saw him as some wanna be cop but settled on a routine shift because he probably couldn't take the heat. You knew that you were stronger than him, but you never had intentions of hurting anyone.

"Why are you here this time?" You asked.

He shrugged, "Routine room check."

You looked around in astonishment, "What is there to look for? It's all just fucking stone, and concrete and water from the faucet that won't stop its damn dripping!"

He looked around the faucet, "Does it drip because you tried to break it? Maybe to use the pipe as a weapon?"

You shook your head, "No. I wanted to wash my fucking hands. Nasty as shit in here. You could at least give me a broom to get the fucking ant eggs out."

He huffed, "You never know with you. You are quite dangerous."

"You don't even know why I'm in here," You scoffed, "A person like you would never get clearance to know what I did. Hurry up with your check and get out."

He nodded and patted on a few walls, "You haven't been doing any digging have you?"

You shook your head. There was no point in trying to argue with him, "No sir, just sitting around."

"Good," He stated. He walked back over to you and offered his hand for you to take.

You looked away, you didn't want his pity, "I'm good down here."

"I need to check your fingernails to see if you have any signs that you've been trying to dig."

You raised your hand up to him. He gently took it and stared at it, "It would be more efficient if you stood up."

You stood up. You felt significantly smaller next to him. There wasn't too much of a height difference, but just enough that if you wanted to make eye contact that you would have to stretch your neck back.

"Thank you," He said.

Manners? That's the first time I've heard a warden use manners. The fuck is going on here?

Sam examined your hands carefully, making sure that he touched every finger, all twenty of them. He started with your thumb, one of his hands held your hand in place, the other rubbed your knuckles in gentle circles.

You huffed and looked away. You didn't like the way that your heart beated faster with every small circle he made. Sam took his sweet time, ensuring that he didn't miss any "signs" of "something".

"You're all clear," Sam let your hands go, grabbed his keys, and showed his way out of your cell.

He walked straight back to the main doors, not even checking another block mate's cell for something "suspicious". Just yours. It was always just yours.

You noticed it about a month back. He always spent more time at your cell compared to others for actual routine checks. Then it turned into pacing in front of your cell. Then to going in it and talking to you.

He always had some sort of excuse to be in just your cell. 'There was a noise complaint' and 'There was a weird smell'. All of it was bullshit. You started to catch on to his game. You started to get a gut feeling that he had romantic feelings for you. You always laughed at how weak he was, falling in love with a criminal. But now, well you might as well laugh at yourself.

Every visit became more exciting than the last. As much you pretended like you didn't want him there, you really enjoyed his company.

It started to worry you, if other of your block mates noticed that he gave you special attention, you were in for some deep shit. The last thing you wanted to be seen as was the suck up. You already had a good reputation for not speaking about your crime and not being allowed to have a cellmate.

You were living the best prison life. You had a cell to yourself and didn't have to worry about someone stealing your belongings. Best yet, you had the Block Warden in love with you.

You fell asleep on your "bed" for what felt like a couple hours. You woke up to Sam calling your name. You shot up and looked around. The lights were still dimmed, almost everyone was asleep.

"y/n, can I come in?" Sam asked.

How silly of him. Giving you choice in a place that was supposed to take away all of freedom.

"Do you have to?" You secretly teased. You leaned back and noticed that he kept one hand behind his back. "Whatcha got there?"

He put his index finger up to his lips and slowly moved his arm forward, revealing a broom. You smiled and got up, inviting him in.

He spoke in a whisper, "Use this quickly and lightly, don't let others hear that I let you use this."

You took the broom from him. It looked like one that he had of snuck in. It was some sort of household broom, not like the wide red ones the custodians use. You held it about half an inch off the ground, trying to make small quiet movements.

You liked Sam a lot. He made you feel humane. Alive. Like you had a purpose. Just letting you use a broom meant so much to you. He listened to you, cared about what you said.

For a second you forgot that you are locked up. You felt like you were in the kitchen cleaning while the one you loved looked on, kinda like the tv shows.

You returned the broom back to Sam. You made eye contact with him for a second, you felt something. Love was it? Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to give you courage to lean up and kiss him on the cheek, "Thank you," You whispered. "I needed this."

Even in the dark you could see his light blush. He nodded at you, "Don't tell anyone."

"Who do I have to tell?"

And like that, Sam left. Leaving you all alone again, but now with a clean floor. You couldn't wipe the smile off your face. You had genuine happiness for once in since you've entered the system.

The next morning you woke up by yelling, "Why is there no biscuit on my plate!"

You heard Sam yell back, "Kitchen didn't have enough in stock! Be happy with what you got!"

You heard your block mate hit their cell door in anger. Breakfast was always a difficult time. People were at their peak of hunger and angry from the nightmare they had the night before.

Sam gave you your food last, which was strange. Normally he would start with you, giving you the warmest food there was. Maybe last night was a mistake. Maybe you went too far. Maybe all the things you noticed was just an illusion that you made up in your mind.

Sam stopped at your cell door and quietly held out your plate, a smirk played on his face. You took the plate and smiled, two biscuits this morning.

You sat down where you normally did to eat, but something was off. You looked back at Sam, he was still there.

"Need anything?" You asked.

He shook his head, "Just a little hungry myself. I brought some yogurt. You mind if I sit over here?"

You nodded, "Go ahead, not like I have control."

"Yea..." He sat down right in front of your cell. You scooted over to him.

It was kinda surreal. It felt like a date; you haven't been on one of those in years.

"So uh," Sam started, "You were right. I don't know why you're here. You're in the homicide block, so I am to assume that you killed someone."

You nodded, "Not just someone, maybe a few?"

He looked you up and down, "Someone as sweet and cute looking as you doesn't seem like they could kill a few people."

You blushed at the...compliment? "I don't regret taking those people's lives. Each and everyone of them deserved it."

Sam nodded, trying to seem like he understood, "I trust your judgement. You're not violent at all. You don't yell, or get into arguments, what made you kill those people?"

You looked away, "Doesn't matter."

"Well, I still think you're great. You're-"

You cut him off. Speaking out even made you as surprised as Sam was, "They were all rapists. I don't know what made me snap. Maybe it was the growing popularity or rape culture? Or how the system was actually justifying it? I don't know, I-I-"

You didn't even noticed you were crying until Sam hugged you. You can't even explain how he got into the cell without you noticing.

"Shh... it's okay. Don't worry about it," He whispered into your ear.

This was the first time you've broken down in the prison. You've never once cried or seriously complained about anything. You really let yourself go. You felt weak. You collapsed into Sam's arms and just cried. You cried your heart out until it was just dry heaving. He held you the entire time, stroking your hair and continuously shushing you.

You looked up and saw a medic team, Sam must've called when he noticed that you were having an anxiety attack. You nodded and let them help you. You didn't dare pull away from Sam. He made you feel safe, you knew you could make through your time but only if you had Sam.

"They're gonna take you to the nurses office and check your blood pressure and all that okay? I'm gonna be right here when you come back," He kissed your forehead and gave you to the medics.

You came back about an hour later. Sam wasn't there. You assumed he got fired. They must've found out about the favoritism and he clearly showed intimacy with you. You sighed and sat down on the floor again.

You looked up in hope when you heard footsteps, running towards your cell. You stood up, it was Sam.

"Sorry I'm late!" He held up some papers, "But good and bad news. Bad news I'm fired. But that's okay. It's all worth it for you. Good news, I got you a court date. I'm gonna get you out."

[canongf-archive]

hi i hope you're having a beautiful day 💙 i would like some advice on something if that's okay with you. i have a f/o that i love more than anything. i do many things to feel close to him...i write about us, i've bought art of us together a few times, i read about him, i listen to songs that remind me of him, i talk to him, i pretend i'm texting him...pretty much anything. i just don't have anyone to talk to about him. my irls don't know i self ship and i don't want to tell them because i don't think they'll fully get it and i'm afraid they'll think it's weird. i did use to talk to one person from the self shipping community but it wasn't a good experience. i just think that talking about your f/o with someone other than yourself makes it feel more real. do you have any advice on this? maybe any tips you might have on making it feel more real without necessarily talking to someone about it?

!!!!! hi anon !!!!! 💗

it sounds like you already do a lot of the things i usually recommend to help feel closer to their F/Os!!! and they're all great, and i'm happy you do them!!! but it also sounds like talking about him is the thing that helps you the most, and i get that!!!

have you tried keeping a journal? or a video diary, even? i know you said you've written about the two of you together, but have you ever tried writing just about how you feel about him? writing down exactly what you'd say to someone else, but for your eyes only! or saying it to a camera! then you could scratch that itch of wanting to talk about him, but without anyone on the other side!

if that feels a little too weird, maybe you could talk to someone you know is safe! someone like a therapist or a teacher or a parent or someone you know won't judge you in the way a friend might. i know it can be intimidating because you never know how the other person will react, but if you've got someone that you trust that doesn't really fall into the same category as your friends, it might feel a little bit different.

if you wanna tell your friends though, you can always leave out some details if that makes you feel more comfortable! if you don't feel real easy telling them that you self ship, you could just tell them that you really like this character! pretty much everyone on earth can relate to that much! and it might allow you to open up that conversation a little bit but in a way that doesn't feel so vulnerable! and you might even be able to ease into the self shipping part later!

and if all else fails!!! the community will always be here. i'm sorry to hear that you had a bad experience, and i completely understand your desire to not have that happen again! so if you decide that you're swearing people off entirely, that's totally up to you. but if you are wanting to talk to someone again, there are so many different people here and i'm sure that you'd be able to click with at least one and overwrite that real negative time you had!

even if you do it anonymously! you might not be comfortable reaching out in DMs or anything like that, but a lot of blogs have anonymous asks on and they will welcome anyone who wants to gush in their inbox! that might give you what you need in talking to someone about it, but because you're on anon you'd be more in control of how things go. just remember to read people's about or BYF pages first, just in case they're not comfortable hearing about certain characters or they're not in the right place to receive gush messages!

there are several different ways of going about things! sometimes you just gotta try 'em all out and see what works! i hope that you're able to find what you're looking for, nonnie ! good luck !!! 💗