#i sure do love being made to feel crazy when i'm trying to set firm and reasonable boundaries for my son's well-being 👍
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When I picked up Diluc as a muse I did not expect to have to simultaneously deal with the alcoholics in my own life quite this intensely.
Truly channeling him in mind, body, and spirit as of late.
#( outofcharacter. )#// alcoholism#hate living in a society that normalises casual heavy drinking under the guise of it being ok and not a problem so long as ur 'functional'#i sure do love being made to feel crazy when i'm trying to set firm and reasonable boundaries for my son's well-being 👍#is it truly too much to not want to expose him to drinking through an entire bottle of whiskey in one fucking night as if that's normal#all in the name of ''I've survived so far! so therefore it is not a problem until my liver dies! 😊''
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3.193 I got time
I love my wife; I love my child; I love my dogs; and I love this house. Life is incredible right now. What I feel is probably just remnants of endorphins from recent happy moments that will fade soon, but I intend to enjoy this high as long as it lasts. Sophia has been amazing through this move, and I never would have imagined she'd be the one leading the entire operation after her strong initial resistance. But when you've found your home, you just feel it. This kitchen is my absolute favorite of all my kitchens. It's not necessarily the nicest or the largest, because our last kitchen was pretty awesome. The actual workspace is about the same as what we had before, but the open floor plan makes it feel way less confined. I think, after the birthday party, I'm gonna change some things around and put a sofa where Desi's dollhouse is. That's how Less' kitchen is set up. I thought little of it because she needs it. When she and all her kids sit around the table, there's no room for anyone else. But as I think about how we'll gather in this space, I realize I need to make it more conducive to how it will be used.
My mind drifted while eating breakfast because my little girl ages up today. I am happy, and sad, and proud, and excited, and scared, and I feel crazy experiencing all of this simultaneously. That's when it hit me: I'm gonna be feeling crazy like this for the rest of my life. Desiree will never stop growing and starting new chapters, and we're going for the ride right along with her. Now I understand why my parents always beamed at me with such pride and admiration. Watching your child blossom is such a magical experience.
A text from Chi Chi jolted me out of my thoughts. It said my tenants haven't taken out their trash all week, which means they've been letting the trash pile up in the house. That message both alarmed me and made me laugh because I never pictured her being the neighborhood watch type. I appreciate her looking out, though, because I would never know. I drafted a lenient rental agreement to further enhance the home-like environment I want this family to enjoy. A bunch of rules would just cause friction between us, as most of the usual ones are unnecessary for a single-family house. The only thing I was adamant about was keeping the place tidy. I will not abide someone trashing our house and inviting all manner of pests like a neon we're open sign. I considered letting them off with a warning for the first offense, but if I've learned anything from Dub's saga, it's that I need to be firm from the jump. So, I sent them a §600 fine via the system. Within minutes, I received an email saying they weren't going to pay! My eyebrow went up so high it could have touched my hairline. Looks like I need to get dressed and get over there.
When I arrived, I laughed to myself because, of course, all the trash had magically disappeared, and I knew they were going to fight me, saying I falsely accused them or some other nonsense. Unluckily for them, I've got time for shenanigans.
"So, what's this about not paying my fine?"
He had that deer in headlights look.
"Uhh...heh, ehhh, I was just jerking you around dude."
I'm sure I had the blankest of expressions because I didn't know how to respond to that and halfway believed I even heard what I thought I heard.
"I was just trying to see how far I could go," he continued. "We've lived in a lot of places with all kinds of landlords. I just had to see what kind you are."
What kind of a landlord am I? I may not have to worry about money anymore, but I'm not running a charity. That's the kind of landlord I am, heh.
"I see. I'm chill. And I'm fair. But if you don't pay what you owe, we've got problems."
"Understood. I'll pay the fine right now. And sorry about the trash. It's just been one of those weeks."
I can't say I've ever had a week so bad I forgot to take out the trash, but I also do not have twins. I know just how hectic life can get with an infant, but two of them? Yikes. As a fellow first-time father, I cut him some slack. I'm still expecting that payment, though.
#ISBI challenge#sims 4 story#sims 4 gameplay#adolting#adolting gen 3#luca winston murillo#the sages#luca said you better have my money LOL
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Argument
[Discontinuing this cause I changed Rooks, but I'm very proud of how it came out so I'm keeping it posted. ROOK'S FAMILY TREE]
Warning: Minor end game spoilers in this chapter, mainly about Lucanis's questline.
“NO!” “Mom-” Rook was quickly cut off by her mother. The older woman looked more enraged than Rook had ever seen her. Passing the captain’s cabin, Angela didn’t even seem to care when her side hit the chair next to her desk. The anger was painted clear on she face as she processed what Rook was asking. Her daughter moving to Antiva? And with the First Talon at that?
“Do not ‘mom’ me! You are NOT moving to Antiva! And certainly not with him!” Angela snaps, pointing to Lucanis who had been quietly standing off to the side. He hadn’t said much since they’d come to talk to Rook’s mom. He knew better than to argue with the same woman who’d made her disdain for him obvious at day one, and didn’t seem to mind reminding him at every chance. So he let Rook handle her mother.
“Mom please-” Rook's plea was cut off again.
“Do you realize how crazy this is? You don’t even know any Antivan.”
“I can learn.”
“And do what? Be a Crow? You’re not an assassin!”
“I’ll find something.”
“You’ve never even lived alone.”
“I won’t be alone.”
Regardless of any answer Rook was giving Angela she still didn’t seem at ease. Finally the older woman paused in her passing and looked at Lucanis. “Was this your idea?” She demanded. Lucanis hadn’t been able to get a word in before Rook spoke up again.
“It wasn’t him. I made this choice on my own.” Rook insists.
Angela sighs and steps forward, taking hold of Rook’s hands lightly. A soft hold Angela used to use when guiding Rook as a child. “Inky, darling, just rejoin the Lords of Fortune.” Angela pleaded. A look of desperation on her face.
Rook wasn’t sure what to say, she couldn’t say anything. Behind all the anger and resentment towards Lucanis she knew her mother was terrified. Another one of her daughters would be moving what felt like a world away. A world away where Angela can’t look after her. It almost broke Rook’s heart, but she knew she had to stand firm. “Ma’am I-”
“I was not asking you, Crow.” Angela snapped, cutting Lucanis off. “Mom!” Rook was in disbelief at how hostile her mother was towards Lucanis. Rook sighs and steps back from her mother. “This… this isn’t up for discussion. I’m moving to Treviso.” Angela sighed in frustration and glanced at her desk before turning to Lucanis. “I would like to speak to my daughter. Alone.” She states.
He hesitated for a moment, but left the ship cabin without argument. After watching him leave Rook turns back to her mother. Before Rook can say anything else Angela lets out a loud sigh and sits in the interrogation chair at her desk. That chair had been a gift from Rook’s father. One of the first he’d given Angela when they became partners. Even with him gone Angela had made sure it stayed in perfect condition.
Looking at the old chair Rook was reminded of the life her parents had together, how much they loved and cherished each other. How much her mother still loves him, even with him being gone for almost two years now. Rook wanted that with Lucanis, but she couldn’t see why her mom couldn’t see that. “Do you have any idea what you are doing?” Angela asked, so quiet it’s almost a mutter.
Rook took a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears that were forming in her eyes. She knew breaking down and crying wouldn’t help her case, but she had never had to fight her mother like this. It made Rook feel ashamed and helpless. The plans were set and Rook was leaving but she didn’t want it to go like this. “Yes. Mom, it’ll be fine.” Rook says, trying to stop her voice from shaking.
“He is a Crow.”
“I know.”
“Not only that, he is the First Talon now!” Angela says with a sigh.
“I know. I was there when Caterina announced it.” Rook reminds her. “and I got to go to the party.”
“And yet you still let him in your bed!?” Angela
“He loves me.” Rook muttered, finding it harder to keep it together. This had not been how she’d hoped it would go. Her mother had never liked Lucanis nor did she try to hide it. Still Rook had hoped she would come around, especially after everything Lucanis and Rook had done together.
Six months of taking things as slow as possible and Angela still didn’t trust the Crow. Her mistrust grew when news of his promotion had reached her. Rook sighed. Not out of frustration or annoyance, but of being tired. Rook was just so tired. Of the arguing, or the justifications, or defending Lucanis at every turn.
“Love is not a replacement for common sense.” Angela snaps, clearly frustrated. The older elf paused, realizing her growing frustration was not going to help this conversation go well.
“I know you think he loves you, and… maybe he does treat you well, but a wolf is still a wolf even if it has a collar on.” Angela insists, approaching Rook with a much softer tone. Getting close enough Angela puts her hand on Rook’s shoulder. “He is a very dangerous man, and don’t think you’re safe because he ‘loves’ you now.”
“If he was going to hurt me he could have already.” Rook points out.
“He is not the issue. It is everything that comes with him. The Crows, Antiva, the politics. I promise you nothing good has ever happened to anyone who’s married into the Dellamorte family. Especially the women.” Angela explains. At this Rook simply rolls her eyes and pulls away from her mother.
“We’re not getting married.” The young woman states, trying to think of any way out of this stupid argument. “I’m just moving to Treviso.”
Angela steps closer to Rook again, trying to reach out to her daughter. “Yet people will view you as an extension of him. A smaller and vulnerable extension.”
“Mom. I’m going.” Rook states, much firmer than she’d ever been with her mother. The older woman was a little taken aback by Rook’s tone. She was truly sticking to this choice.
The two stood in silence for a good two minutes, both refusing to back down. Eventually Angela looks her daughter up and down before stepping back.
“Just… if anything happens please promise me you’ll come home.”
Rook was visibly surprised by her mother giving in. She never gave in or backed down. Right or not the pirate captain was as stubborn as they came, especially about her kids. Sheepishly Rook stepped forward and let her mother pull her into a hug. “I will. I’ll make sure to write too.” Rook says quietly.
The two let the hug linger, Angela being too afraid to let go. Too afraid to let her child go. Two years away and she was losing Rook again, but somehow this felt scarier. Somehow her fighting a god was not nearly as scary as what Angela feared she’d meet in Treviso.
#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#lucanis x rook x spite#lucanis x rook#inky laidir#angela laidir#my writing#antivan murder
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Oliver: Delivering Pizzas Goes Really, Really South - The Fractured Truth: Chapter 1
I'm sure talking with most other demigods will get you the spiel about how this life is dangerous, about how people walk into it and never walk back out, and they're probably right. But gods does it have it's perks. Constantly traveling, being your own boss, and feeling like a superhero most days sounds like a lot of people's dreams. Sure, it's paired with more near-death experiences than years you've been alive, permanent scars in your teens, and psychological trauma that only a dip in the River Lethe will help you get over. But I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of "it'll work out in the end". The feeling of the wind whipping on your face while I zip around is the best, although being seated on a tiny scooter with a Domino's sign slapped on makes it feel way less cool. At least the pizza was warm so I had something to keep me toasty.
"Only one more week" I thought as I zipped into the driveway.
I knocked on the door and to my surprise, there was no one. Until I looked down, at a small satyr man wearing baggy red sweatpants, staring up at me.
"Oh thanks kid, here's your money, and take this too".
He handed over the cash and a few extra drachmas. I gave him a thumbs up and left, hearing some younger kids scream and laugh as their dad pretended to sound like a monster and chase them around. I went back to my boss and told him I was clocking out.
Gary was one of those bosses who thought that he was essentially a god when in the workplace, with all of us employees as his underlings. In reality, Gary was a 5'2" balding middle aged man with a superiority complex and had been clearly compensating for something. He stopped what he was doing as I was taking off my uniform.
"And who said you could leave?" he asked with a smug look.
I sighed, because one more comment from me would have probably gotten me fired.
"The schedule Gary, the one you made, that tells people when they can leave".
He scratched the sorry excuse he had for a beard as if in thought, which I thought was impossible.
"But what if I don't want you to leave? What if I still have work you need to do. You should ask me what else you can do to help around here"
At this point I just wanted to be out of the conversation.
"Oh you're willing to pay me overtime then? I'd be happy to stay a bit longer"
Gary's face immediately dropped. "Hey now I wasn't saying anything about-"
I stopped paying attention, because from the front a customer walked in. She was a good looking woman, though dressed a bit promiscuous. She had a very cropped shirt, short leather skirt, red high heels to match her lipstick, and those white oval glasses. I almost gave her a wave when I noticed something a little off about her. The edges of her hair were on fire. She noticed and extinguished it with two of her fingers, but it came back again. I didn't know who my extremely attractive yet highly flammable stranger was, but I wasn't loving the idea of her doing anything crazy right there and then. I tried as casually as I could to move into a back room to try and get out of sight but I tripped over some crates of Pepsi and made a bunch of noise.
Gary made that annoying sound of trying not to laugh. "See Ollie, this is why you wouldn't be getting overtime. You're causing more problems than you'd solve. I'd be doing you a favor by letting you work more for free. You'd be put to at least some good use."
I turned towards him. "You know what Gary? You're probably right". Then I socked him in the face.
I assumed he wasn't a sturdy guy, and him passing out and almost falling to the ground confirmed that suspicion. I pulled him towards me before he hit the floor and set him down out of the way so he could be safe. I ripped off my uniform, slipped my jacket back on, and grabbed my hilt. Then I walked out the front of the store, greeting woman on the way out.
She lowered her glasses to give me a wink. "Hey handsome, you getting off?" she said with a sly grin. I almost told her I was, as if something was convincing me that I should spend a little more time with her.
I snapped out of it. "No, just making a delivery. Have a nice day ma'am" then I walked out of the store. I looked behind me to see if she was still watching, which she was, so I dashed out of sight and headed to the fenced area where we had our dumpsters.
Once I got to the bins, I ducked to the side to hear if someone was coming. Surely enough, I could hear the sound of heels hitting the concrete a little ways away. I didn't even want to think about what this girl could be, so I was determined to not find out without having the upper hand. I ran over to the fire escape and touched the lock that was keeping it from moving. I felt the innerworkings of the lock undo themselves with my touch, tracing how I assumed the pins were lined, until it popped open. I slid the ladder down, and scrambled up onto the roof. I pulled the ladder back up and willed the lock to close.
I ducked behind the ledge and peered over, hoping to find my scary stalker friend. I saw her shadow first, and then she turned the corner and walked into the middle of the space, looking around. Her hair was now completely on fire, her shirt was more cropped, her skirt was even shorter, her heels taller, and the most noticeable change: she had a copper leg where her old one was. And I thought I was so close to having a normal time away from the camps.
She looked around with a scowl. "Come out little demi-god, you aren't getting away from me."
I started running different scenarios through my head. Fighting her was always an option, but I didn't like my chances. Plus, if the fight left the back area and went into the parking lot or a building, other people might get hurt. Plus, people might think I'm crazy for attacking a gorgeous woman, which wouldn't help much. Still, I couldn't just leave her here. I definitely could make a break for it though, the delivery scooter was just around the corner. I started racking my brain about what I could remember about woman with a metal leg and fire hair, and a legend about this some ladies named Empousa surfaced in my mind. They liked to eat travelers, which fit the bill, and would scream when they heard insults. Oh and not to mention the Charmspeak, which absolutely sucks to be on the receiving end of (believe me). I started to grab some lint from my pockets and plug my ears when she started to cackle.
"Oh you're so funny that you think you can evade me. I know you're here, but it's just a matter of time before you show yourself. Or you'll make a break for it. Your kind was always good at running, weren't they, Son of Hermes. You and your cowardly brethren."
I bent back down and kept covering my ears. I tried to control myself, but I could feel my anger and anxiety rising. I told myself that she's just trying to rile me up. I could still run, being a coward is better than dying for nothing. I could still leave...
"Gods they really are cowards. And he's going to lead the next of father's children? What a joke." The words floated through my makeshift earplugs, I could feel the Charmspeak's honey sickness, but I didn't care. I felt my anger swell higher than I could control. She wasn't going to talk about me like that or my family and get away with it.
I peered over the ledge to see her standing there and scanning the distance. I quietly lifted myself onto the ledge, crouching on it Spider-Man style. I could feel my spite for this woman and her words filling me, my body becoming energized with all the stimulation. Strength swell through me, and I dashed into action. The world around me looked funny, like a laggy video, jittering and moving slower. I jumped off the roof, grabbing onto a pole connected to the fire escape and slid down it, then kicking myself off of the wall and into the Empousa. She slowly turned towards me, her smile shifting to an expression of shock as I shoulder charged into her.
The world seemed to catch up to me, everything speeding back to normal. We crashed into a gate, her hair melting the chain link. I rolled back to get away from her, and grabbed my hilt. I swung it around my thumb like a butterfly knife, metal unfolding until I caught it back in my hand, with a fully extended rapier blade appearing.
I held it up my blade a defensive stance. "God, you're supposed to be the hot ones too huh? I mean the bar's pretty low for monsters but I guess you do pass it."
She laid slumped over against the fence, whipped her head up, and screamed at me. An ear shattering shriek erupted from her lips, which probably would have left my hearing permanently damaged if it weren't for the lint-plugs I put in. Still, I got pushed back and had a ringing in my ears. She stood, hair glowing white hot, and she took a swing at me, her nails extending out to claws. I tried to parry but I was a bit disoriented from getting screamed at, and she clipped my shoulder drawing some blood. I stepped back, took a glance to see how bad it was. Her nails dug through my jacket and shirt and drew some blood, which was now dripping down my sleeve. I pushed her away, shook my head, and tried to get in the fight. If I died here then I don't know what would happen to Harley, or if there were more targeting other demigods. I tried to steady myself, and took another step towards her. She was eyeing me, waiting for a move, then struck fast and hard. I parried, moving her claw to the ground, I stepped in and kneed her, followed by a stab. The adamantine glittered in the light as it punctured her skin, pushing through and drawing blood and dust spilling out of the puncture. She cried out in pain, then tried to swing again, this time I ducked under and kicked her away from me, stepping back and raising my rapier in anticipation. She snapped her head up, eyes glowing red with anger, and she charged me. I side-stepped and stuck my foot out to trip her, as she fell I smacked her back with the hilt of my rapier, causing her to crash into the ground. She laid on the ground for a second dazed, and I took my chance. I grabbed the lock from the fire escape and some chain from the fence she melted, ran over to her. I grabbed her wrist then dragged her over to one of the dumpsters, and chained her to it with makeshift handcuffs. She started to snap out of her daze, and she started yelling at me.
"You think this'll stop me? You kill me, there are others out there. They'll find you. They'll catch you and the rest of you half-bloods when you least expect it."
I looked at her, not quite phased by the repetitive "We'll get you" monster speech I've heard a million times at this point. But those words from earlier, her stab at me being a coward, that I'm going to fail leading the children of Hermes. I felt my anger swell and I couldn't help myself, I couldn't control myself, and I don't think I would have if I wanted to. I walked towards her, reached for a small Celestial Bronze combat knife I carried in my jacket pocket. I stabbed one of her legs with my rapier, causing it to writhe in pain. Then kneeled down and grabbed her copper one. I looked her in the eyes and stabbed into it, then sliced down. It cut like a knife through warm butter, until I was left holding a copper leg, and left looking at a disintegrating demon.
Demigods took trophies all the time. Why would this be any different? I held onto it for the time being, but I realized that I wasn't very safe as I was. I don't think Chiron or Lupa would mind me paying them some visits early. It was time to head back to the camps, which meant it was time to pay my dad a visit.
(For those of you that read this far, PLEASE comment with critique, trying to get better)
#my writing#original character#percy jackson#mythology#writing community#the-fractured-truth#oliver-webb#fanfic#fantasy#the-fall-of-dawn
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"MADNESS LOVE"
*GIF NOT MINE*
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Warnings: None (if I need one let me know in my ask!)
Prompt: NONE
Word Count: 1,860
A/N: Okay, this time I didn’t use any prompt from my board on Pinterest. I came with the idea last night (thanks insomnia), and I thought I could make it in 2 parts. Let me know what do you think in my ask, is always open for you. If you want t, like it and reblog it. Thank you very much!
A/N 2: I’m gonna pin this imagine so you can easily find it on my page, I will do the same when posting part 2. :)
A/N 3: This awesome gif is from Pinterest but, it comes from Wattpad. Her account is Ariana-Fic and you can find it in her fic “Soldiers in Intelligence”.
Being a cop wasn't easy, putting your life in danger to protect and serve others sometimes wasn't successful. It was 50/50, every morning you will be walking out home not knowing if you could come back.
It had been three weeks without a person in the unit. Detective Jay Halstead had been wounded in a crossfire in a covert operation; when one of you got hurt everyone took responsibility even if it wasn't that way, only for some it was harder to try not to blame yourself for what happened. You had blamed Hailey for not covering Jay enough even though you knew it wasn't her fault, you even avoided her a few days after that.
She was her partner way long before you were assigned to Intelligence by Sergeant Voight.
Narcotics helped Intelligence in a case; it was your case but somehow their case intertwined with yours at some point, both departments agreed to work to stop the overdoses in the area. You were the best at CO, so it made sense for Sergeant Voight to pick Jay, one of his best undercovers for a purchase. Your skills didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the Intelligence Unit, even for someone with experience like Jay. After the case was over he offered you a spot in his Unit, you doubt it for a moment, you were good in Narcotics, good pay, accumulated vacation days, Voight wasn't known for being a patient person and some co-workers encouraged you to take that step by commenting on how crazy you must be not to accept such an offer.
You were well received by all, perhaps except for Sergeant Trudy Platt, who didn't like strangers or new people in the district. Jay was among the first to congratulate you when you arrived, for a moment you thought you'd be partners but Voight wouldn't break his dream team, so he paired you with Kevin Atwater, whom you've been entrusting your life and darkest secrets to ever since.
Atwater was the first one you told about the nights you stayed late with Jay in Molly's, he was the first to know how those late nights became visiting his apartment, to end up arriving together one morning, to the district. He had told you about Voight's rules and how he was firm with them after Jay's last relationship had gone bad with his partner and that had affected his way of working a bit.
Jay and you decided to go slowly, the only one who would know about you two would be Kevin, it was agreed at least, but Hailey Upton was very good at her job so she soon realized what was happening between you. She had supported you, although she did not agree to hide this from her sergeant, she wanted to see her partner happy.
They were all at their desks, doing paperwork on a case they had closed the day before, when Trudy appeared on the stairs.
"Guess who came back from her mandatory break."
You looked up from the papers in front of you to look at a smiling Jay Halstead, who was looking at Trudy with a raised eyebrow.
"Nice to see you too, Trudy."
"Yeah, now try to get away from the bullets for a while, I don't want to have to worry about any of you for a long time."
Kevin and Adam were the first to approach him, joking and patting him on the shoulder. Kim and Hailey were next, giving him a loving hug before heading back to his places. You had stood up to lean against your desk, your arms crossed over your chest, Jay leaned closer, although he kept some distance, the mocking smile still on his lips. You were the first to speak.
"I see you survived, Halstead."
"Hey, don't say it like that, I'm going to think you're not happy to see me alive."
You pressed your lips together so as not to smile because of his comment, it was the game that both played in front of everyone else, the sarcastic comments to pretend that they were not getting along as well as they should. You nodded and looked at him.
"It's good to have you back."
Jay's smile widened and he put his hands on his hips.
"Look at that, you're happy to have me here."
You rolled your eyes and sat back in your chair when Voight left his office, leaning against the doorframe.
"How are you Jay?"
Jay nodded his head looking at his boss.
"Good, Sarge."
"Good, because I just hung up with the Superintendent and he wants to acknowledge what you did. Tomorrow there will be a public event, downtown."
You all clapped for a moment, before Voight continued speaking.
"Now try not to die until tomorrow."
Without saying more he returned to his office. Jay went to his desk to catch up on all the overdue paperwork, from time to time you looked up to observe him, you were glad to have him back but the moment you knew about the award, you felt a bitter taste in your mouth. Why were they going to decorate him when he almost died?
You stood up and went to the coffee room, took one of the cups on the wall and poured yourself some, you still felt that bitter taste in your mouth. You heard footsteps behind you and looked over your shoulder.
"Are you okay?"
Jay asked, taking another cup, reaching for the pot and pouring himself some coffee as well. You leaned a little to look towards the door, checking that no one was around to hear you. You started to get tired of that, checking over your shoulders to see if no one could hear your conversations or whatever you were doing behind closed doors.
“Uhm, yes, I’m just a little tired. We have been in some paperwork duties from a few cases from the past weeks.”
You took a sip from the cup, making a little grin at the taste of the coffee.
“Well, just for the record, I know when something’s bothering you. We have been together almost a year.”
He looked satisfied with himself, and you couldn’t deny it because he was right, Jay knew you so well almost since day one. You looked at him and gave him a little smile, his mood was good after dealing with a grumpy man at his house because he couldn’t get back to work after being shot, and you definitely didn't want to be the one to screw it up.
Kim walks into the room without realizing the interruption she just made or how you take a little more distance between you two, starts a little chat with Jay and you decide to go back to your desk.
Later, in the locker room, you were finishing picking up some things from your little blue locker, putting them in the gym bag you were carrying that day when Kevin appeared next to you, opening his own locker.
"I don't see you so happy today, you were quiet for most of the day, man you didn't even laugh at Ruzek's nonsense. I thought having Jay back would make you feel better."
You sighed and took a seat on the bench, rubbing your hands over your face before looking at your best friend. You played with your lower lip a bit before speaking.
"Kevin, am I crazy for wanting more in this relationship? I mean, we've worked well without anyone knowing, what difference would it make if we did from the knowledge of Voight, of our friends?"
They both fell silent when an officer entered the room and moments later he left the room, you clenched your fist and struck the cold metal in front of you, you felt frustrated and helpless. Kevin sat next to you, rubbing his hands together as he took his time answering you.
"Y/N, you are a pretty strong woman who knows what she wants, don't let anyone make you feel like you can't, not even some of my friends. If you want, I can talk to him, you know man to man" .
His comment made you laugh a little, releasing a bit of the tension in your chest, you bumped his shoulder with yours, pushing him a little.
"Thanks Kev. I don't think that talk is necessary but I will take it into account for future problems."
"Whenever you need me, girl."
You took your bag, Kevin had helped you lift your spirits but you knew you had to do something with your feelings, for better or for worse.
Jay was in the kitchen when he heard you arrive, a smile formed on his face as he came out to greet you, an ice cold beer in his hand and a hockey game in the background on television. He walked over to you to kiss your forehead, took your bag and set it aside by the door.
"It took you a little longer than usual to get here, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. Trudy wanted me to fill out some forms for tomorrow and I left earlier."
You couldn't look at Jay without stopping to think about the consequences that your words would have, you knew about his past and you didn't want to be the evil witch who would ruin what you both had until that day. You settled next to him, resting your head on his chest while he watched the game and he made imaginary shapes on the skin of your arm.
It took you a few minutes before you could form a sentence, your voice lacking the strength you had gathered all the way to his apartment.
"Jay, what if we tell Voight we're together?"
Your voice caught his attention, looking at you completely confused.
"Y/N, we both know that we can't say anything at the moment if we want to continue working in the same unit."
You slowly sat up again, turning a little so you could face him, Jay was sure of what he was saying, it showed in his face and in the confidence with which he had spoken.
"Jay, I'm tired of having to hide from everyone, like what we're doing is wrong. Voight will understand if-"
"I've been through this before Y/N, I know what I'm talking about. I also refused to hide my thing with Erin, but things changed. If we tell this to Voight he will remove someone from the team and we know it will not be me."
You felt the air come out of your lungs, as if someone had hit you, Jay realized his mistake when you stood up, he began to move his head trying to speak, he left the beer on the coffee table trying to take your hand .
"Y/N, it's not what- it's not what I meant ..."
Unaware of your movements, you started to take your things in a frenzy, Jay seemed to be talking to you but you couldn't identify his words or what he was trying to tell you, you just left.
To be continued...
#Jay Halstead#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead x you#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#hailey upton#kevin atwater#hank voight#adam ruzek#kim burgess#molly's bar
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Dense at love pt2: Electric Boogaloo
Kageyama Tobio (1st year) x Reader
Summary:You find out that Kageyama has been telling other that you two are an item when that's not the case. The time has come to confront him about it. Will you clear up the misunderstanding and just be friends or play pretend to save his feelings?
Content: Stupid teen being stupid at life and love. Wrote it all at once. No proofread and no edits. So might have bad grammar and spelling errors. You have been warned ⚠️
Ever since you know Tobio Kageyama, there was many things that stood out about him.
He's quiet.
He's extremely passionate about volleyball.
His resemblance to a blueberry.
But the one thing that stuck out to the most was the fact he was dense. Especially concerning his emotional state. So much so, you always felt you had to help him in those time where he just couldn't get the hint. Which was often. Whenever ask how you don't get irritated, you just say that it was one of his charm points and you're the only one that can help him out.
Well, you can't say that anymore with this new piece of information given to you by Tsukishima.
"What did you just say?" "I said he told everyone that you guys are dating now."
"And who told you that excatly?" "Who else? You're new royal dog. Kageyama. Tobio Kageyama. "
"You sure you didn't just miss heard him?" "That's not something you mishear. Especially when it comes from the socially inept person like him. Besides, I have witnesses who heard it too. The entire volleyball team"
Your mind was running on hyperspeed at that point. Questions going all over in your brain just to get a firm grasp on this situation. 'Why does he thinks that?' 'How could he think that?' 'Why didn't I noticed?' 'Why tell some many people?' 'When did he even start liking me in that way?!?'
That's when you realize...the moment that may have started this crazy rumor.
--
"Honestly Tobio! Do you always have to practice so late!? On a top of that its freezing out tonight! Geez~"
"You're acting like I made you walk with me. Could of left whenever you wanted."
"And hear you whine about leaving you the next morning? I rather not."
"When have I ever whine? "
"Middle school-"
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU PROMISED ME CURRY BUNS AFTERWARDS!"
"Yeah right! Hahaha!"
Kageyama pouts at you laughing at him but he still enjoys hearing it. A good sound that brings his mood up.
".... but I'm happy you stayed with me tonight."
"Of course you are. You trying to get some of my mom's cooking tonight. "
"That's not it! I got something to tell you." "What's up?"
Silence was the reply due to Kageyama's nerves getting the best of him. These nerves that he only gets on serious games. The nerves of this confession ruining your friendship and you not wanting to see him again almost makes him back out. But the nerves he get when the idea of another guy stealing you away from him pops in his head makes him ready to risk it.
"Tobio-" "I REALLY LIKE YOU Y/N!"
The words echoes through out the neighborhood that some dogs starts to bark because of the noise but he doesn't care. He just wants to hear your voice. Your response.
"Why you shout? I like you too, stupid."
"You do? You're serious!?"
"Duh I'm serious. If I didn't, I wouldn't be with you this long."
Hearing the harsh approval made him smile. He let it out and made his feeling known. In return they were accepted. Or so he thought.
A different thought process was going thru y/n. How happy she is he was able to say his emotions so clearly. Rarely does he express himself so vocal to her so this is a great step in their friendship and he finally breaking out of his shell.
--
Dread flood thru you all day due to how stupid you were. Everything was so obvious back then and you should of took the hint. Who gets that serious to tell their friend they like them in a platonic way? That's stupid.
But you got the worst feeling when you realized something esle. Having to set him straight. You can't let him continue thinking you two are an item when you're not. But the thought of having to break his heart just breaks yours.
Confessing is hard but Confessing to a friend is harder. He must of thought over that multiple times, probably did his funny thinking face a couple times. That image made you smile, even a small giggle slip out but you were reminded of the bad thing again. It also got you thinking.
You never really thought of Kageyama in that way before. You were always busy looking out for him that the thought never pass your mind. Sure you did think he was handsome but that was a given, I mean he got some good genes. There was the occasional time you chest would randomly hurt at the sight of a girl say she likes him but it would go away. And yeah, you may get happy seeing his name on your phone screen and hearing his voice thru the speaker but you only thought of him as a friend.
'The best thing here to do is to set the record straight and tell him we aren't dating. Right? Right.' You thought as you start heading towards his house. Then start sidestepping towards yours instead.
'Maybe I'll do it tomorrow when he's better. No it's best now. ' you head back towards his house again. Only to turn around again.
'He's sick in bed. Let's not bum him out anymore.' You sure this time? Let's hope considering your way on the route home. Then buzzing from your pocket stops you, it's your phone with a message from Kageyama.
'I want to see you. Can you come over,please? :)'
Guess you gotta go now.
--
Part 3?
#anime#haikyuu!!#haikyuu kageyama#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu fluff#kageyama imagines#kageyama fluff#kageyama x y/n#kageyama tobio x reader#kageyama x reader
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real or not real? (natasha romanoff x reader)
a/n: this is based off the hunger games because i just finished reading the books!! also a little badass woman fic because of international woman’s day!! love all woman, I MEAN ALL WOMAN!!
word count: 1.6k
natasha romanoff masterlist
As I finally landed, I watched everyone face drop once they recognized who I was. My brain felt like static as I took the steps to where the team was camped out.
I watched Steve Rogers, I think that’s what the file I was given said, stand up and look at the other members of the squad. As he approached I felt flashes of memories, or maybe memories, flood me.
“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” The blond approached me but stopped a few feet away. He tried to keep his voice clear of emotion but it was useless, I couldn’t be trusted yet.
“I was told you needed back-up,” I didn’t bring up how the nice blonde woman, I think she said her name was Pepper, argued with Mr. Fury for days about me re-joining the team.
“Well you came just in time.”
By the look in his eye, I didn't want what he wanted in the slightest.
I followed him to the tents that were hidden among the trees, a shiver going up my spine when I made eye contact with any members of the team.
I could see old versions of myself interacting with each, but some felt so real and some felt so fake I couldn’t put them right in my mind.
One I caught the red head, Natasha, eye I felt my body grow stiff. She was common in my memories, some of her gentle and meaningful and some of her enraged with bullets flying at me. Tony had informed me that most of the bad memories are Hydra’s doing, that they were never real. I couldn’t help but wonder how true that was as she backed away from me when I walked past her.
“(Y/N) was dropped off for back-up,” Mr. Rogers spoke from behind me, taking the seat next to the brunette with the metal arm. I had spoken to him twice when I was in the hospital, apparently he had something to do with my capture and refused to see me more after that.
“Um, Cap?” Clint, or was it Carl, spoke up. He gave me a few side glances but said nothing else until he was pulled aside.
As soon as they were out of ear shot I watched them go at each other, arguing about who knew what, most likely me. I did my best to ignore the eyes on me, but I couldn’t help but snap.
“Have something to say?”
All eyes flooded off me, except for Natasha who crossed her arms and stared me down.
“You aren’t going to try and kill me again, are you?”
Her question enraged me, but I had no reason to be mad. I was the one who attacked, but I swore she was after me.
“I thought you were a threat,” my words felt icy as they hung in the air.
“I wasn’t before and I’m not now,” her words were just as cold, running in my blood like a river in December. 
“Look I’m sorry, okay? I have all these memories and I can’t tell what’s real or not, so yes I attacked you,” I sat against the log farthest from anyone, so I couldn’t hurt someone.
“Then ask.”
Mr. Rogers came back, taking the seat he took seconds ago and watched me closely. He looked more opened to talking then the C man that came back with him.
“Will that work?” I looked to Banner, the doctor who checks on me often when I was strapped to the hospital bed.
“It can’t hurt,” he shrugged his shoulder and continued to look around the group. They spoke with their eyes and I couldn’t help but wonder would the old me under their silent conversation.
“I was a part of your group, real or not real?”
“Real,” Rogers spoke up, nodding to each member as if to tell them it was okay, but I couldn’t be sure of that.
I nodded, letting the fake and real memories flood me within every inch of my brain. I had enough questions to keep them up all night.
“I was kidnapped in my sleep by Hydra, real or not real?”
“Real,” the man with the metal arm spoke this time, giving me the nod this time and I felt as if he was letting me join their secret conversation.
“It was a few months ago, we couldn’t get to you in time,” Banner filled me in more.
I could vaguely remember the screaming and the way my bed-sheets felt that night, but everything else was slightly blurry.
“Natasha tried to kill me, real or not real?”
“Not real,” she was quick to set me straight, giving me a look I couldn’t read but I didn’t mind it, not when it was coming from her.
She was the only person being straight with me, not jumping around the conversation that I needed to have for my sake.
“You’re favorite color is Orange, real or not real?” I didn’t take my eyes off her, the conversation felt so intimate even if everyone was watching.
“Yes, and yours in red because you say it reminds you of my hair,” she looked to her hands, rubbing them up and down the side of her thighs.
“Okay,” I nodded as I absorbed the information about myself, the first piece of information I’ve heard that wasn’t in a file.
“I think we should start getting some sleep, we have a long day ahead,” Rogers pointed to his tent, his voice soft yet firm.
Nobody disagrees, each telling the other goodnight while I got head titles and I'm waves. The only people to tell me goodnight were Rogers and his friend, who I think was named James but I remembered his face clearly now.
I was once his friend too.
I didn’t move from my log, I couldn’t sleep much anyways and I couldn’t be shoved into a tent alone and expected not to go crazy. I said nothing as Natasha moved a few logs closer to me, staring at the ground as she waited.
“Anymore questions?”
“Plenty, but do you have the answers?” I ducked my head, hoping to get a glimpse of her eyes but I was memorized when I did.
Her face flashed over my brain, the same red but straighter and her eye shined under a street lamp. Her lips were as soft as hotel pillows and her touch was like magic as it ghosted over my shoulder.
She looked like magic before the sight was gone and I watched her slightly dirty hair hang in her eye, that wasn't as bright, and the memories started to fog again.
“You kissed me, real or not real?”
The silent felt like screaming as she chewed on her bottom lip, waiting for her words to work.
“Real.”
It wasn’t as confident as her words before, but it felt so much more honest than anything I remembered.
“How did I think you wanted to kill me then?”
“Hydra turned all your memories of me to shit, all the ones they knew about,” she rolled something in-between her finger and I wanted to ask but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
“Do you remember any good ones?”
She held back a laugh, finally looking up from the ground to me with a sad smile stretch on her lips.
“Plenty,” she nodded, going back to the object in her hand.
“Tell me about them, please?”
The ‘please’ sounded so desperate in my head, but it seemed to bring her ease as she moved her body to face me.
“We used to window shop like crazy together,” she looked up at my confused face and continued, “it’s like walking around and looking at stuff you’ll never buy.”
The memories of walking on a sidewalk with her filled me up, the feeling of gentle flowers brushed against my skin filled me.
“Then one time, after we kissed, you pulled me into this antique store and told me to pick something. We argued about it for ten minutes before you gave me this look I could never say no to, so I grabbed the closet thing and told you it’s what I wanted. It was the locket, I hate wearing it because it's so big so I keep it in my pocket,” she held out the locket in question, waiting for me to draw closer and once I did she opened it.
Inside was a photo of me, rolling my eyes at the camera but a hint of a smile on my lips. I looked so content for someone rolling their eyes, I wonder if I always like that.
“You were, never took many things seriously,” I didn’t realize I spoke out loud, but I was glad I did when she almost laughed at the memories.
That when it started to really hit me, not just the memories but the feelings. They laughs and the jokes, and all the inbetweens. I didn’t really know what I was saying, not for a while, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“You love me, real or not real?”
Her answer wasn’t hesitate, even with the same pause, she knew as soon as I asked she just wasn’t ready to say it.
“Real,” her voice was barely above a whisper but I heard it.
I wanted to respond with ‘me too’ or something along the lines, but my answer was much more complex and I couldn’t only hope she understood.
“I think the old me loved you back, from how I feel when I think of the little things, and I can only hope the new me can remember why.”
I was scared when she said nothing, as if I made an impossible situation worse, but when she looked up at me her eyes twinkled again and her hair appeared redder.
“Let me know when you do?”
“You’ll be the first to know, Nat.”
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𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼
chapter eighteen • a/n: last chapter folks- wanna thank all those who interacted/read it, I hope you enjoyed it! ♡ gonna miss these fools, ngl • wordcount: 2k • warnings: nothing but fluff. Parenthood. Babies. Kids.
summary
going through rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.
masterlist
His hands are warmer and maybe even bigger as his fingers are intertwined with yours, gently swaying back and forth, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand or a light squeeze to remind you he's still there.
a few steps ahead, rosie groans, huffs and puffs as she pushes the stroller the best she can. Talking to her little brother who gurgles back just as much.
"You're really heavy!"
a soft pink, round handbag with minnie mouse printed on the front hangs loosely in Steve's other hand. Handed to him seconds after leaving the restaurant by Rosie herself as she offered to push her little brother back home. A heavy diaper bag he'd taken off the stroller to take away some weight, hangs of his shoulder– you told him you could carry one of the two but Steve being Steve, refused your offer and instead clamped his hand in yours.
A day out planned by the man walking next to you. A day with the four of you, letting Rosie and JJ get used to Steve being around for more than the two hours every night before getting tucked in. That Steve wasn't just a friend anymore– though Rosie 'just knew' when you told her Steve was more than a friend, a special friend.
'I don't kiss my friends like that'
Rosie didn't mind, or at least you think. She was good with everyone, stranger or not. Opening up to Steve wasn't a problem, becoming friends with Steve came easy for the girl.
And bucky, bucky would always be dad.
'Now I have three daddies. My real daddy, my normal daddy and steve.'
And though you never intended to let Steve in your life so quickly, it became serious pretty fast.
Delicately glueing back each other's pieces left of a broken heart; giving solace, a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold. Steve and you never intended to become this, you were just friends, used-to-be-coworkers. It happened. Bucky no longer floating through your head every other minute or feeling that ache in your chest�� just you and Steve and for now after the heartbreak Bucky caused you could in all honesty say that Steve Rogers treated you better than anyone ever did.
The stroller comes to a halt when Rosie stills in front of the apartment block. She let's go of the stroller and places both hands on her sides, bright yellow sunglasses resting on the bridge of her nose, she sighs heavily.
"That was heavy."
You and Steve chuckle at Rosie her stance as if an old man admiring his self-built furniture, sarcasm dripping from her body yet as innocent as can be.
"I bet it was, kid."
"Yes, JJ eats too much."
"Says the girl who ate all my fries."
Letting go of your hand, Steve hands Rosie back her own bag which she happily takes– slipping the diaper bag from his shoulder, you wrap your hand around it and carefully toss it over your own. Hand digging in to find your keys. Taking the few steps up the building, you push open the door and watch how Steve casually carries the stroller and JJ up the steps and follows Rosie in the building.
The walk to the elevator is short, the three of you and the stroller packed tight in the small space– you stay quiet, watching the interaction between Rosie and Steve, your heart grows ten times its size. You thank the gods above for giving you all these amazing men in your life, even if they broke your heart in different ways- teaching you the ways of life, giving the best things to ever exist, trusting you, caring about you..loving you.
Riley, your first real love. The one that changed your life forever. Teaching the ropes of this crazy thing called adult life. Be the calm to your chaos. Showed you love like you'd never had before– sure enough about it all to put a ring around your finger and giving you the most important job of them all; be a mother to a beautiful, funny and feisty daughter. Riley who gave you real heartbreak, leaving an empty hole in your heart and took a piece of your soul with him
Sam who stood by your side through it all. Going through the process together of losing a spouse and partner on the field. Your shoulder to lean on when things got rough, a friend of your man turned into your best friend– showing you the meaning of family by letting you into his own.
Bucky who stole your heart so fast, you never had a chance to let it settle– a wild man willing to wait. A wild man who showed you that life after Riley could be something beautiful; taught you how to love again, brought you back to life and gave you the gift you call your son, gave Rosie a father figure. Bucky the best mistake you'd ever made in your life.
And maybe all these men were needed to get you with the one. Without Riley no Sam and without Sam no Bucky, and you'd never have met Steve if you didn't move to Brooklyn. All these men lead you to him.
Steve. The man who picked up the pieces and put them back together– the man you so desperately needed in your life. The calm that Riley once gave you and the wild and silly bucky once showed. The one for real this time.
Even if things didn't go your way, men changing every chapter of your book– life was pretty amazing.
Steve must've seen the slight wobble of your chin and your eyes filling with tears. His firm hand back into yours, you look up to meet his blues, you shoot him a tight lipped smile.
"Mommy, why are you crying?"
You inhale deeply, quickly wiping away the tears that have made their way down your cheeks and not trusting your own voice, you smile at your daughter but shrug.
"You know what I think?" Steve quips, the hand that's intertwined with yours now snaking around your waist to pull you ever closer into his side "I think mom's just really happy."
Rosie nods unsure but gives a toothy grin "then I'm happy too, then we're all happy."
"Then we're all happy."
He reads you like an open book, something you got to love and hate over the last few weeks. Nitpicking little flaws to get under your skin or be the biggest sap whenever you're feeling down; he knows you like the back of his hand.
"This is so stupid," you breath out a shaky chuckle "Jesus, I'm crying in an elevator–"
"It's not stupid," Steve reassures "we're all just very happy, right?"
"Yeah." You nod.
Squeezing your side, Steve let's you know he's there and plants a kiss to your temple before resting his chin upon your head.
"I love you, sweetheart."
Bucky can't quite believe it himself; just a month ago he labeled Steve Rogers as his arch enemy and wish bad things upon the blonde and now, now bucky hopes and wishes the blonde would treat you better than anyone else– welcomed Steve into the mess.
At ease, okay, alright but above all grateful. You didn't kick him out of your life or that of his kids– you wouldn't be the first mother to do such a thing, he's seen it on TV multiple times. Bucky's grateful that you and him still were a thing just not the same. Parents of your kids, friends.
Though jealousy would strike once in a while and he reminded himself of the mistake he'd made, It was good this way.
Big helium balloons in the shape of letters and numbers float above the table shoved against the wall, reading 'JJ 1 YEAR'. Silver birthday garlands hanging from ceilings along the baby blue and white balloons– table filled with snacks, gifts and drinks. Cramped in your apartment but done together– texting back and forth, nights of planning brought you all here, JJ his first birthday.
Friends and family here to celebrate something the two of you made from love.
Bucky leans against the kitchen bar, one hand tucked deep into the pocket of his jeans and the other wrapped around a bottle of beer. Eyes upon the small crowd gathered and lands on Steve, barely on his knees next to a side table, small plastic tiara on his head as Rosie applies makeup on the guy's face from the set she'd just got as a gift from uncle Sam.
Bucky smiles, at least you picked a child magnet, a guy who'll love his kids as much as the two of you do.
Bucky scans the crowd again and spots you without any problem, another smile on his face at the sight of his godchild hailey holding JJ, probably gossiping around with you.
It's good this way.
"Hey man."
Snapping out of his own world, Bucky meets the eyes of a man he hasn't spoken to in months; sam. Not since he got to learn about Bucky's mistake.
"Hey." Bucky shoots him a tight lipped smile.
Standing still next to Bucky, Sam leans against the bar in the same stance and follows Bucky's gaze to the crowd to you, his son and hailey.
"He looks like you." Sam confesses "scary."
Letting his head fall, Bucky chuckles and nods "at least we know it's mine."
Sam chuckles along till it dies down, silence falling over both men as they keep watching the scene in front of them. How you leave Hailey with her nephew and mingle with some friends– bucky can feel Sam's eyes burning on his face.
"Told you so, didn't I?"
Bucky snorts "Let's not go there, I've learned my lesson."
"Do you?" Sam quips with a grin on his face "No new love on the horizon?"
Bucky nods, he has learned his lesson and he knows he'll never find someone like you again– he has definitely learned his lesson and definitely not ready for something new.
"No man, I'm going to focus on my kids." Bucky breathes out a soft chuckle "apparently I still have two."
"Rosie loves you– I have to thank you for that, giving Rosie a father figure."
"Wouldn't trade it for anything else."
"I know."
Another, comfortable silence falls like a thick blanket. Knowing each other well enough to know what they're thinking– a smile creeping on both men's faces at the sight of you pushing yourself past some people and beelining towards the duo.
"Mind If I join?"
Scooting aside, both Sam and bucky make space for you in between and your arm that snakes around Bucky's back gives him a warm and fuzzy feeling– he pulls you closer into his side with his arm dropped over your shoulder
"A year ago you nearly passed out." You mumble softly
"I didn't pass out." Bucky scoffs
"I said nearly–"
"Not even nearly."
"The nurses had to sit you down."
"They never–"
"They did!"
It's a game of back and forth, getting underneath each other's skin and Bucky hopes things like this will never change even if you decided to spend the rest of your life with steve. The silly arguments, the silly fights and the lame jokes– bucky would be alright as long as that stayed.
The squeeze around his side makes Bucky aware you're still there. Locking eyes with yours, one's he's found himself lost in many times before, he copies your smile.
"What?"
"Nothing– we did good." You state.
Though things didn't go the way it was supposed to, the two of you did good indeed, more than good even.
"I think we did amazing." Bucky smiles back.
Wrapping his arm around your shoulder a bit tighter, he places a quick kiss on your forehead before following your gaze into the crowd, his daughter, his son, his family and steve.
It's good this way.
"So, guys," Sam clears his throat from beside you "really gotta know what happened on hailey her birthday party that day."
"No, you don't." You and Bucky chuckle in unison "you really don't."
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#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#rosie and i*
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Love Game part 3
Pairing: Yelena x fem!reader
Genre: Lemon, non!AU
A/N: This is my very first fanfic. Sorry if it's bad, but I hope you like and enjoy reading this story! The period in this story is when the Yeagerists began their mission to create the “New Eldian Empire”. I'm poor at grammar, and this is the first story I have written in English, so I’m sorry if they're a lot of mistakes I made in my writing. Feel free to give me some advice in English so I can learn and write better in the future 💜
Summary: You live in the same house as Yelena in Paradis as a maid. You adore Yelena, but you thought she wasn't attracted to you at all. The day after she talked with Pixis on the balcony, she eventually talks to you and tries to tease you.
Warning: Smut, +18, explicit content!!
She kissed your lips so gently. Her arms on your waist pull your body so close to hers, no more boundaries between you and her. The thrill of her kiss running up your skin was electrifying. You want to stop her, but your body tells a different story. It feels like you've been so thirsty for her touches for a whole time. Moments later, her arms all over your back. Then she kissed you passionately, her tongue is in your mouth now, moving wildly to play with yours.
At this moment you feel that the world around you vanishes away, only you and her. You want her back, you want her so badly. But a thought hit your head, you regained consciousness. Realizing that this should never have happened between you and her, there shouldn't be unnecessary physical touch.
You pulled back your body to stop her, “this is wrong, we ought not to kiss!” you said with a firm voice.
“Uh-huh, and then?”
You stepped back on your leg to keep your distance from her. “Don’t ever kiss me again!”
She curtsied and bent her face close to yours, “but you liked that, and you kissed me back,” she said. Her right arm touched your lower lip and teased it with a naughty touch.
You don't know what to say, because she was right, and the way she teased your lower lip is so intoxicating. You looked into her eyes, her pupils dilated, you can see a strong desire within her. She looked at you so lustful.
“Let me get this clear,” she continued. “I want you and don’t you ever dare to say no because I hate being rejected. Let’s move to the next level, I promise you'll love it, and we’ll be having so much fun!” Her right arm traced your chin, neck, and stopped at your left breast. She then put her lips against your ear, “tonight you look so beautiful with that nightdress, and I can't hold myself anymore,” she hoarsely whispered.
Her powerful and strong voice makes you do nothing but obey. “Now, go upstairs and get to sleep. It’s already late, I’ll clean the glasses for you.” She placed her arms on your shoulder to lead you out of the kitchen. And you just obey like her cutie puppy.
The next morning, Yelena saw you watering the potted plants around the backyard. “Hey, cutie, you slept well last night?” she said in an enticing tone.
You glanced at her, “funny you acted so friendly recently. Don’t get me wrong, but I don't think I’ll accept your stupid game.”
She stepped closer to you, “yes you will. As I said last night, I hate being rejected. So I’m gonna make you say my name when you get high. Just be ready today.”
She saw two soldiers walking towards your position. She cleared her throat, “so I wanna have some tea and please take them to my room by evening,” she said loudly with a different tone.
You realized she was trying to fool those soldiers, then she left you there. You glanced and followed her movement, she’s talking to the two soldiers. They seemed to have a serious conversation with her. You want to know what they are talking about, but you can't hear anything from the place you were standing.
As she promised, she left you no choice but to bring the tea set to her room. Once you entered her room, she locked the door and grabbed your hand quickly, and hugged you tightly. She kissed you more passionately than last night.
“Yelena-” you try to speak, “I told you we can't do this.”
“Yes we can, I know that you want me too, your face can tell me that,” she said during a kiss.
The more you try so hard to refuse, the more she holds your body so tight. She took off every one of your clothes until there nothing left. She touches you more and more, inch by inch. Yet, your sense of logic continues in a detached way with your desire, and you almost give up to satisfy your physical craving.
When she places you on the bed, you try to unbutton her shirt, she helps you take off her shirt and pants until you two get naked. That dusk, you ended up letting your lust control your body and let her touch you more deeply.
After that crazy moment in her room, you can't pretend that you don't need her anymore. You always let her touch your body every time she wants if there's a chance. In the library, in the bathroom, in the fulfillment warehouse, everywhere in that house is a place for both of you to have sex. You love the way she touches you. It always makes you want her more, more wild, more lust, more touch.
“Y- yelena-” you moaned as you felt her long fingers inside your cunt moving in and out faster.
“Yes, beauty? Gonna cum already?” she asked seductively.
You say nothing but moan her name again as you get high and release your warm fluid all over her finger. Tonight you ended up fuck with her in your room.
“Damn! I'm gonna miss this,” she said and started to suck her fingers in her mouth.
You frown at your face, “what do you mean ‘gonna’?”
She smiled at you, “nothing,” and gave her finger to your mouth then you licked hers sensually.
“Oh god, you look so fucking beautiful when you do that with hair falling loose down on the bed,” she played with the ends of your fine hair with another hand. You don't know why, but the way she seduces you with her dirty mouth gives you a delightful sensation. You never mind being a slut for her.
She kissed your lips and whispered, “Give me another, my princess. Let’s do scissoring!”
That night, you fucked with her for hours and this is the longest sex in a week. You try as many positions as you can until you two get dried, ‘till the clock says three in the morning.
The next day, when you go to town to buy groceries. You met Yelena there. You felt confused about why she can get in town while she’s in protective custody.
“I can’t believe we meet here,” she greeted you then she brought you to the alley nearby.
“Yelena, how can you get here?” you asked.
“There’s no time to explain, but I’m glad I met you here. Listen, the situation will not be the same. There will be an agitation around here. I need you to protect yourself if you need to, bring your parents to stay away from town. And I’ll blot out your punishment,” in the last sentence, she lowered down her voice and looked into your eyes softly. “You sure you never drink wine in the kitchen?”
“No, I don't! I told you I don't like liquors,” you answered convincingly. “Agitation? Punishment? What do you mean?”
She smiled, “I know you've been undercover to be a servant for months. You're a former Anti-Personnel Control Squad member that survived the Reiss family tragedy. And thanks to you, you revealed to Dot Pixis that I'd met with Eren before he invaded Marley. That's why I gave you a punishment to force you fucked with me.”
You dropped your groceries in shock, you never realized that she knows everything. Her smiles turned into a wider one as your reaction gave her much satisfaction.
“Floch tells me everything about you. You're no longer working with the government, but they still can find your record.” She stepped closer to you, “you're lucky I fuckin’ like you, sweetie.” She kissed your cheek and touched your head, “take care of yourself. Goodbye,” and she stepped out to join her confederates. Left you there, alone.
Your heart sank when she said goodbye, as you get the feeling you will never see her again.
When you came to that house, the situation was already chaotic, you found blood and dead bodies of the soldiers everywhere. So this is how she can run away from this house. You walked to her room, you still can smell her scent there, and it makes you feel in a sad set of affairs.
There’s a book on the desk, you stepped closer and opened the book. Your eyes widen as you see something inside the book. Now you know how she can keep in touch with her confederate, she used the book to take and give the information about the current situation in government. You hold the book so tight until your fingers get pale. You feel so defeated she can fool you around, and it all because of your stupid feelings.
You looked out the window with irony and said, “silly me I like you too. Please don't get yourself killed.”
Fun Facts:
She really into you, she can't think straight when you're around her.
I think she's a dominant type, and finally, you can make her half-naked and you take control of her (you can take a look at the first picture 😉).
Yes, you were the former of The Military Police Regiment who joined Anti-Personnel Control Squad leads by Kenny Ackerman.
I think Yelena was really upset about her incarceration and the other member of Anti-Marley Volunteers in various places, after what she did to Paradis. Although the government of Paradis was kind enough to put them in a decent house, she was still upset (this is my speculation for my writing purpose only).
Yelena had been watching you since the first day she stayed in that house. For her, you’re the best thing that Pixis had given to her. She could stick it out in that house because of you.
There are a lot of the Yeagerist’s sympathizers in that house, so, she still can communicate with Floch and her comrades easily. That’s why she knows about your little secret.
No, Yelena didn't kill the military soldiers in that house, but the Yeagerists did (this is only my hc). I think she respects the Eldians sm because Zeke is an Endian.
THIS IS IT! I hope you like my story ;)
Have a good day! ✨
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#yelena#yelena aot#yelena snk#yelena attack on titan#yelena headcanons#yelena fanfic#yelena fanart#aot fanfiction#snk fanart#snk fandom#snk headcanons#snk fanfiction#headcanon#aot smut#snk smut#attack on titan#attack on titan smut#yelena x y/n#yelena x you#yelena x reader#fanfic#fandom#snk au#aot au#shingeki no kyojin
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scars to your beautiful (kageyama x reader)
➸ genre: angst and fluff.
➸ pairing: kageyama tobio x reader.
➸ word count: 1.5k
a/n: wHEW. i wanted to write something meanigful, but idk how it turned out !! honestly idek if this is either angst or not lowkey,,, heart fingers.
synopsis: kageyama helps (y/n) love and embrace the scars from her past.
WARNING! mentions of relationship abuse.
ouch.
warm, red blood oozed out of the exposed wound, the sharp pain visible on your face. from your left side, a little boy was apologizing to you several times with tears in his eyes. and from your right, kageyama extended an arm to lend you a hand.
"thank you." you took his hand and pulled your body up from the ground, blood still gushing out from your scraped knee.
"i'm s-so s-sorry!" the little boy sobbed in between his words.
smiling at him, you shook your head before patting his head, "i'm fine! still moving, you see?" you shook your leg to prove yourself to the little boy.
"still, be careful. you might seriously injure yourself if you don't!" teasingly, you scolded the little boy, causing him to nod his head ferociously.
"i'll b-be careful next t-time!" swallowing his tears, the little boy picked up his skateboard before running off.
seeing as the boy disappeared from their sight, you let out a breath before stumbling to keep your balance.
"oi! don't fall!" kageyama pulled you back up, "c'mon, i'll help you get seated."
he helped (carried) your body while searching for an empty bench in the park. spotting one in the distance, he continued supporting you before setting you down on the empty, wooden bench.
adjusting your position to your comfort, a sigh left your lips.
"of course this had to happen." you thought to yourself, "i knew this day was going too smoothly for my own liking! ugh, why can't my first date with tobio be a success?? curse you, bad luck!!"
"(y/n)." kageyama interrupted your thoughts, "can you roll up your jeans for me?" he was knelt in front of you, one knee up and the other knee down.
"huh?!" you snapped out of your internal conflict, "why?"
oh no.
"so that i can see your injury." he pointed directly at your knee, "the blood is seeping through your jeans."
oh no. anything but that.
"pfft, i'm sure it's fine! no big deal." you swung your legs back and forth, "you see?" unknowingly, your face gave away your pain.
he took one look at your before shaking his head, "(y/n), don't be ridiculous."
you hung your head, avoiding his eyes, before beginning to slowly roll up your jeans. as more skin got exposed, your fingers hesitated.
kageyama noticed your hesitation and helped you roll your jeans up, thinking that the pain prevented you from continuing,
"no— wait!"
a long jagged scar snaked down the side of your leg, close to your knee. the skin around the mark was slightly discolored, suggesting that it did not heal properly. this was something you did not want kageyama to see, at all. but what could you do? lady luck was not on your side today. you grimaced, too afraid to see the male's reaction.
without any comments, kageyama stood up from the ground and turned his back towards the female.
"i'll be right back." he spoke before jogging away from the bench.
oh no.
he thinks they're ugly.
oh nonono.
what if he decides that i'm worthless—
haha, no way.
as if.
tobio isn't that kind of person...
is he?
amidst your worries and doubts, you noticed kageyama return from somewhere with a plastic bag hanging from his grasp. you jumped up from the wooden park bench, ready to explain yourself.
"t-tobio! you're back!" you shuffled your feet nervously as he stopped in front of you with his eyes on yours, "don't worry! i can explain my— my um. my scars! haha see, i was in this crazy relationship a few years back and my boyfriend wasn't exactly the best person alive. b-but it's all good now! he received his punishment and i'm—"
partially listening to your rambles, kageyama silently sat you back down on the bench. without a single word, he retrieved the item he bought from the convenience store (a first-aid kit) and opened it up before quickly soaking a piece of cotton with bottled water.
"we have to clean up your wound, first." he spoke calmly as his hands dabbed the piece of cotton on your knee.
unable to process his actions, you watched as he peeled off a bandaid before sticking it onto your wound. he pressed his fingers against it lightly, the bandaid sticking well to your skin. he was gentle, almost as if he were working with fragile glass, yet firm at the same time.
"and now we're finished." he smiled softly and awkwardly made jazz hands, signaling his finished work. still struck by silence, your eyes were glued on him as you watched kageyama throw away everything except the first-aid kit, "tobio.."
he returned back to the bench and sat down, his hand reaching out to give you whatever was left inside the first-aid kit.
"here. don't want you being unprepared again." with a kind smile on his lips, kageyama leaned back against the bench and stretched him arms out, "now you can continue your story, if you want. i'm here to listen."
oh.
initially, you weren't sure how to feel when he offered his ears to you. strange, right? just moments ago, you were desperately trying to explain yourself, your scars, to him. but now that he was actually listening, it was odd.
as shocking as it may seem, you weren't used to someone offering to listen to your voice, your past, your story. maybe it was because of this reason that you actually felt nervous to say anything.
but you were compelled to tell him. this guy, who had only known you for a couple of weeks, had knocked down any barrier you had built from a previous relationship, in a matter of minutes.
was it the way he looked? at you? or was it because of his caring gestures— you had no idea. whatever it was, it worked to his favor. you instantly desired to spill everything out to him. after all, you just couldn't hide it in any longer.
"my- uh. my ex-boyfriend was abusive, both physically and mentally. he would verbally tear me down with harsh words before resolving our fight with his fists. honestly speaking, it wasn't even a fight. whenever he spat out insults to me, it was all one-sided."
you paused, contemplating on whether or not to continue. spilling details about your painful past was overwhelming, to say the least. you swung your legs back and forth, allowing your silence calm you down. luckily, kageyama was patient.
"he told me that i was ugly with all these scars—said that i should be grateful he was at least willing to be with me, even though he was the one who gave me these."
another pause, with kageyama's eyes widened the slightest bit out of anger.
"my parents eventually found out, even though i didn't want to trouble them with anything, and they reported him. he received his punishment, and i got a restraining order! happy ending to a not-so happy story." immediately, you faked a laugh and encouraged a smile on your face, as if to show kageyama that everything was alright now.
but kageyama saw through it. vividly. even if both the corners of your lips curled upwards, your eyes betrayed you. no matter how convincing your smile looked, if the eyes weren't sincere then nothing was.
you gulped softly, expecting the silence from him. you figured he was processing the information you had given himㅡ it was a lot to take in, after all.
"your ex-boyfriend seemed like an ass." he stated bluntly after a painful silence as his body turned towards to face you.
"yeah, he was. i honestly don't know why i stayed with him." another laugh escaped your lips, nervously this time, "maybe i depended on him too much. pathetic, right?" you glanced down before lifting your wounded knee upwards, "now, i got all these ugly scars marking me for the rest of my life."
"they're not ugly."
you turned your head to the side, "excuse me?"
he shrugged, "your scars. they're not ugly." kageyama said once more, "nothing on your body should be considered as ugly. why would they be?"
"because they make my body seemㅡ destroyed."
he shook his head, "no. your scars show everyone how brave you are. how you survived through the worst of times to make it to the present."
kageyama crossed his arms before continuing, "the scars on your body from your past make up your own constellations. if anything, you should be proud and embrace them."
you bit your lip. since your previous breakup, the concept of loving your body seemed impossible. of course, you'd been trying for years now, but failed every single time. heck, was it even possible? you wanted verbal assurance.
"doㅡ do you think i'm capable of embracing them?" you asked, your voice laced with hope.
kageyama stared at the female, a brief moment of silence between the two of you. he was positive that you were more than able to embrace your scars. you were strong in his eyes. of course, he was willing to help you in any way, shape, or form.
with a hand on top of your head, he gave you a small smile before nodding his head, "absolutely."
#haikyuu!!#haikyu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu headcanons#kageyama tobio#kageyama#tobio#karasuno#kageyama x reader#kageyama tobio x reader#kageyama headcanons#kageyama scenario#kageyama angst#kageyama fluff#tobio x reader#tobio headcanons
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The Southsider (pt. 13)
Sweet Pea x reader
Chapter Summary: When trying to avoid a big problem, a bigger problem occurs.
Warning: NSFW (just seeing him naked)
Word Count: 2085
Chapter 1 • Chapter 12 • Chapter 14
You quickly stepped away from the window, thinking about what to do in this situation. You realized that you only had a big t-shirt and underwear on. You quickly put on some pajama shorts and some shoes on, sliding on your serpent jacket and shoving your bra in your pocket as you stepped outside of your room, quietly closing the door.
As you made your way to your aunt's room, you stopped at the bathroom in between your rooms and locked the door for them to think you were in there. You then closed the door to your aunt's room, thinking of what to do.
Do you hide? No, they'd probably find you. You opened the window, stepping outside to the roof of the first floor. You slid onto it, and closed the window. You looked down. You had to jump a whole floor worth.
You heard the front door bust open, and you knew you had to hurry. You jumped and landed on your feet, only to stumble afterward. Your feet stung, but that wasn't important. You couldn't stay here for long.
You looked at the fence separating your house and your neighbor's house. That was a start. You used all your strength to hop over the fence, scraping your leg in the process. Again, that couldn't matter right now.
You took out your phone, texting your boyfriend.
You ~ Are you awake?
My World ~ Always for you 💕💕
My World ~ Why what's up
You ~ Meet me at the school
My World ~ Is there something wrong?
You ~ Please hurry
My World ~ On my way
You put on your bra. You knew you'd be slower running without it on. When you got there you hid behind the brick fence in case any Ghoulies pass by.
As the adrenaline dissolved, the pain in your leg grew. You looked down at it as you sat on the ground. It was bigger than you thought, and bleeding. The pain came back as well, this time stronger.
Soon you heard a motorcycle engine, but didn't move. It could be a Ghoulie looking for you. "Y/n?" You heard Sweet Pea's voice, and stood up, running to him and wrapping him in a hug. "Holy crap your leg!"
You brought your hands to his cheeks for him to look at your face. "Can we please get out of here?" He nodded and the two of you both got on his bike and drove to his trailer. When you got off, you felt two strong arms pick you up. "Pea-"
"No. You're hurt." You sighed and leaned into him. Not only did you need this, but he did as well. He just wanted to help you as much as possible.
He gently get you down and got out his first aid kit. "This is really going to sting." He poured the hydrogen peroxide on the wound, making it sting like crazy. Your breath hitched, but you maintained your posture. He wrapped a bandage over it and reached up to kiss you. "Feeling a little better?"
You nodded. He then texted Jughead, causing both him and FP to storm in about a minute later. "What the hell happened?" FP demanded.
You sat up on the couch. "So funny story." Jughead and his dad both gave you a look. "Don't give me that look, I didn't do anything wrong. Anyways, I was about to go to bed when I saw the Ghoulies outside. So I crawled out of the window and hopped neighbor's fence for them not to find me, which is how I got cut. I texted Sweets to meet me at the school, and he did. I don't know why they were there, but they were."
"You think it could be because of us?" Jughead asked.
"Maybe." FP responded. If only they really knew the reason as to why they came looking for you. "Alright, listen kid." He said to you. "You're not going to school tomorrow. You need to heal and hide. I'll call the school since I'm your emergency contact." He then turned towards Sweet Pea. "Same goes for you boy. I want you to watch her and take care of her tomorrow."
Sweet Pea nodded. As you and Jughead began to talk, FP pulled Sweet Pea to the side. "I want to take extra care of her. You know as well as I do how special of a person she is."
Sweet Pea nodded. "Yeah, I'll take great care of her tomorrow."
"Not just tomorrow, tonight."
He seemed shocked at what FP was saying. "You're letting her stay here tonight?"
"I'm not the one she texted, you were boy. She feels safe right now, and that's the way I want to keep it." He then put a firm hand on his shoulder, gripping it. "But let me be clear. If you try anything bad with her, all you'll be doing is hurting her. And when she's hurt, I come in. You don't want me to come in."
Sweet Pea shook his head. "I'll treat her with respect, like she wants."
He patted his shoulder. "Good kid. She was right, I could trust you."
He smiled and looked at you. What did you see in him? You were so good to him, and you always knew how to make him better. Nobody else thought of him as anything other than a Southside thug, but you always saw him as so much more. He didn't care how much baggage you had, he'd carry it all for you.
Soon they left, and Sweet Pea scooped you up from the couch and carried you princess style. "Don't you think this is a bit much Pea?"
"Not for you babe." He set you down on the bed and gave you a peck. "I love you so much." He whispered.
"You're so adorable Sweets." You put your hands on his cheeks. "I'm so glad I'm the only one who gets to see you like this."
He smiled. "Like what?"
"So gentle and sweet. Always being careful and trying your best to make things better for me." He took his shoes off and crawled in the bed with you, wrapping his arms around you and dozing off to your warmth.
You woke up to an empty bed. Rubbing your eyes, you sat up. Suddenly the bathroom door opened and out came Sweet Pea with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was covering his eyes and in a wet mess, although the rest of his body had been dried off. He looked your way before saying "Morning."
You lazily smiled. "Good morning." He laughed at how adorable you looked. Your smile quickly went away as he dropped his towel. "Holy crap!" You looked down and covered your sight of his with your hand. "Pea!"
"What?" He laughed. "You've seen me naked before."
"Yeah, but still!" Your face was burning.
"Still what?" He said, amusement in his voice. "Is it that big that it still surprises you?"
"Ha ha Sweets." You said. "Pretty confident when I'm your first too."
He chuckled. "That's why I'm so confident." He didn't miss the small smile that appeared in between your rosey cheeks.
He then walked right next to you, you at eye level with his junk. You widened your eyes, staring at the fairly big item hanging in front of you for a bit before looking at your smiling boyfriend. You glared at him as he happily looked down at you, never breaking eye contact as he opened the drawer next to you with his boxers inside, grabbing a pair and putting it on.
He then put clothes on, going up to you for a kiss before you pushed him away. "What? Is it because of me naked?"
"No, it's just that I got morning breath." You said. He looked at you to see if you were joking, but you were serious.
"I don't care."
"You should!" He then tried to get near you, you pushing away and shoving your face in the bed. He heard a muffled no and chuckled. He sat beside you, moving your hair and kissing the back of your neck.
"I woke up early so I could get you some stuff at the store. You have a toothbrush in there by the way."
You tucked some hair being your ear as you sat up. "Thank you."
"No problem." He said, sitting down and touching your leg from over the blanket. Your breath hitched, and he realized that he touched your injured leg. "Oh crap, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Are you sure babe?! I don't think so."
"Sweets, I'm fine. Promise." You smiled, grabbing his hand.
"I brought clothes." He swung your hand. "Toni gave me a pair for you. I told her to get comfy clothes, and she gave me this bag."
You opened the bag to see a pair of sweatpants with a relatively smaller waist area and a crop top sweater. "Oh Toni." You sighed.
You got up, ushering Sweet Pea out of the bedroom and closing the door to change. Once you put the outfit on, you felt uncomfortably comfortable. The sweater was warm, but it showed your stomach. The sweatpants didn't rub against your leg, but the waist part felt too small and it hung low, revealing your v line.
You got out and went to get some cereal, and felt Sweet Pea's arms wrap around your stomach. "I like it. It's hot."
"Well aren't you very touchy feely today." You said, turning around. He looked as if you had caught him in some horrible act. "Pea it's fine. I love you showing your love. It's so romantic." She then smiled, looking at your lips before kissing you.
As you and your boyfriend spent the day together, the Ghoulies were looking for you. Jughead noticed that they were standing outside of the school, then waiting for something at Pop's. He and FP swung by your house to find that it was spray painted on the garage door, saying We have a message for you.
It was when the Jones' couldn't go into their trailer that they were face to face with them. Two trucks were parked in front of the trailer, and Serpents started coming out to speculate. When the two of them rode to their trailer, Penny stood up from the back of the truck. "Finally! I was wondering when I was going to get some hospitality."
"What do you want Penny?" Jughead demanded.
"I came to speak to one of your girls. You know you really have a lot of girls by your side. The Topaz chick, the cutesy little Northsider-"
"Watch it." He pointed at her.
"Relax, I'm just here for the third one. The one with the daddy issues."
"Whatever you have to say to her goes by me," FP said. "So spit it out."
"Oh FP, don't make me search your trailer."
He walked past a bunch of Ghoulies, going to his trailer and opening the door. "Be my guest." He smiled. During this time Fangs decided to face time Sweet Pea so both of you could watch what was going on.
Penny and Malachi searched the trailer, not finding you anywhere. "I got to hand it to you Jug," Penny sighed. "You always do pick the clever ones. Or, at least two of them are."
"She got away from you guys. You aren't as smart as you thought. Get over it, now what do you want with her?"
You and Sweet Pea were anxiously waiting for Penny to say something. But the next words that came out of her mouth made your stomach drop, and you felt a huge fear inside of you that you hadn't felt in a very long time.
"It's a message from her dad. He's going to be released next week, and he says that he misses his little girl."
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Author's Note: I'm sorry that there wasn't really a lot going on in this chapter.
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Tag List:
@madaboutlili @sireennotsiren @elsie2018 @greyfairie @iamaunicorn4704 @wanna-plan-world-domination @whenallsaidanddone @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @live-love-bailar @thecraziestcrayon @cvvlxx @grim-adventures58 @official--fangirl @jesus-jagiya @skeletalwolfcat @theunofficialduke @punkrock-cinnamonroll @rhi-an-onn @amongthewildthingss @apocalypticriot @anahgiedd @dreamsfromanemptyteacup
#the southsider#the southside serpents#the southside#riverdale fanfiction#riverdale fandom#riverdale sweet pea#sweet pea fanfiction#sweet pea x y/n#sweet pea fic#sweet pea x reader#sweet pea
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T W E L V E • A Gwilym Lee Story | 5. the one with the heat wave
Author’s Note: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR GIVING THIS LOVE. It’s my baby! I promise you, there’s soooo much about to happen soon! Enjoy!
Sylvia •
If I didn't believe that the day I walked in on Ben and his mistress, in my bedroom was the worst of my life recently. Today could've easily taken its spot, on this new list I'm currently creating. It has only been a week working at Jimmy Bean's and I've already been fired.
Nothing was going right! Orders were wrong, baking is definitely not a strong skill of mine. And being yelled at for horrible tasting coffee was worse than being yelled at over toner.
Joe was trying so hard to help me out earlier on and I owed it to him big time. I just never thought that brewing coffee could be the hardest thing to do but I was proven wrong. Now as I sit on an empty bench, with my shitty cup of coffee, waiting for the subway to arrive.
I've always been a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Or that you've gotta get through the bad to get to the good of life. I've just been insecure about it all lately. Hitting nothing but walls in the last three weeks. Feeling like I'm on my road to my rock bottom. I had it perfect months earlier, even a few years back. All these achievements that I was striving for all along, they came so easily.
College degrees
New job
New apartment
New beau..
I sighed at the recapturing. Processing it all as I closed my eyes for a moment and bringing them back to the platform. Before wiping my forehead of sweat, oh and! Did I not mention it's the hottest day of the year?
Literally hell at its finest.
Even after all of this nonsense I've endured so far. I know I'll still always be a firm believer of the "good things" though. Just being out of my comfort zone of home just made it worse but at the same time. I wasn't going to let this set me back completely. I'm just nervous of what hell was going to happen next I guess.
++
After walking the rest of the way from the subway. I made a quick pit stop to the corner store before heading to the apartment.
"Lucy!" I called out, going into the kitchen and putting the milk away, sucking in the cool air for a second. As it felt hotter in the place than it did outside. I was surprised by no answer since she mentioned she was home today. I went to her room and nothing but a made bed (surprisingly)
When I came back into the common rooms, I noticed a little note next to our last bottle of wine on the table.
Syl,
I had a last minute flight to catch for work.
I'll be back in a few days, if it gets too hot.
The apartment AC is in my storage closet
with a tool set. Good luck!
- Lucy
I took the note to fan myself in search of this closet. It was next to the bathroom, under the last shelf. And there she was, our air conditioner. Dusty and needed to be love. I went to pull it out, but I couldn't pick it up after that. It was too heavy.
"How the hell am I supposed to do this?" I said into the air. I couldn't stand another minute in this heat. I wondered if Joe was home since he left early today?
Finding the tool set and cleaned the window near a plug for this thing to work. I opened the door to cross the hall to apartment eleven. Joe and Gwilym’s place. Knocking twice.
"Let it be Joe." I said to myself, repeating, hoping to god that he could help me and I wouldn't get stuck with Gwil. So far, things weren't so bad with him but at the same time tension was still there and he's wit and sarcasm was not something I wanted to deal with right now.
But of course, today was continuing to test me.
Gwilym answered the door with his short dark brown locks disarrayed and shirtless. Only dressed in black pants, hanging loosely below his waist. Exposing his slender build and lightly toned chest and waist.
"Yes?" He greeted, then. Snapping back from the view as I caught myself staring. Suddenly feeling the cool air coming into the hall from his apartment. Reminding me why I was standing in front of him in the first place.
I cleared my throat, "Hey, is Joe home?" I asked. Watching Gwilym smirked shortly after.
"Why? Do you fancy him too?" He joked, immediately clicking that I was not the only one that seen the exchanges between Joe and Lucy.
"Haha, so funny." I retorted, then. "I needed help putting in the air conditioner." Explaining, but of course it didn't stop Gwilym there.
He was leaning his arm on the door frame, "It's easy, just place it in the window and plug it in." He stated.
I can't stand him.
I chuckled loudly, "That would be great if I could lift it off the floor." I replied again, beginning to turn back to my door. "I'm just going to suffer till Joe gets back."
I heard Gwilym readjusting himself to close the door. "Okay, sounds good."
"Mhm, thanks for wasting my time." I said, then.
"Same to you!" I heard him say. Before shutting the door behind myself. Retreating back to my sauna.
——————————————-
Gwilym •
I watched the dark brunette walk across the hall and close the door behind her. A part of me felt like I had succeeded. In whatever little game this was we were playing since we introduced ourselves. Constant comebacks and wit anytime we were around one another.
Then there was a part of me that I didn't quite fully understand. That I wanted to help her out for some reason. Standing in my place with the air on full blast, imagining that she's dealing with what I just solved an hour ago myself.
I don't know what is was first. That she was Lucy’s best friend. I love Lucy, and she's the first I think that I haven't slept with during my time in the city. We made out once, laughed it off, of course. Ultimately I looked at her like a sister and if it were to have been vice versa of her knocking for help. I probably would have been in her apartment by now.
Or the inevitability that Sylvia was gorgeous. Dark hair, blue eyes, the perfect bone structure a person could have to their face. A light complexion that all of the above was brought beautifully together in her choices of lipsticks. Along with a killer body and legs that were always well complimented with anything above her knees. I'd pretty much do anything for a gorgeous woman, that's why I had a pretty high reputation in the matters of months.
But all I knew I was now fishing for my tool box and heading across the way.
After I knocked, Sylvia opened the door in a complete wardrobe change. Her hair thrown up into a messy bun and away from her shoulders. In a grey camisole, cropped above her belly button and black shorts.
She rolled her blue eyes at the site of me, "Are you here torment me some more?" She questioned, then.
"Where's the air conditioner?" I asked. Welcoming me in with what I think was the first ever smile I've received.
++
Sylvia stated the obvious that the AC was heavy. Bigger than Joe and I’s for sure, it came quite clear that the girls place was actually bigger as well. I wasn't so sure how Lucy and her ex-roommate Allen got this in last summer. But it definitely wasn't easy.
To make it so much easier, sarcastically speaking, none of the screws were working to secure the thing in place.
"I'm running out of ice." Sylvia interrupted my frustration, bringing in water for the meantime to cool down. I thanked her, then. "I know it's going to seem crazy." I started, after. Explaining that none of the screws were long enough and that I had longer ones in my junk drawer.
"Do you think you could hold this in place?" I asked the impossible. She looked at me like she seen three ghosts fly by. This was going to be great. But luckily she was willing to try.
When she replaced my hand with hers, I was thanking a god I didn't believe in before running across to my own kitchen.
I came back in seconds, "Alright, where's the screwdriver?!" Forgetting my footing before I left. I began looking through the tool box,
"I found it!" Sylvia exclaimed shortly before screaming, "NO!!" after doing the worst thing possible.
She let go of the air conditioner.
#bohemian rhapsody#mine#borhap#gwilym lee#gwilym lee imagines#gwilym lee smut#gwilym lee fanfic#gwilym lee fanfiction#slutforbritdick#apartment 12
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(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)
Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution
TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords
Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?
Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?
He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.
"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.
Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.
He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.
Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.
Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-
---
-'CRASH!'
"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."
Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.
He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.
He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.
He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.
"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.
"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"
He ran a hand through his hair.
"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."
Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"
Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.
"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."
Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-
---
-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.
Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.
"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."
He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.
"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."
Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.
Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.
Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"
He nearly fainted.
"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"
He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"
Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.
"How are you doing that?!"
"Person help wing? Yes, no?"
"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."
"Help wing, yes, no?"
"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"
Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.
"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."
"Vir..gil?"
"Yea, hes my boyfriend."
"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.
"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"
"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.
"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"
"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."
"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-
---
-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."
Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.
"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.
His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"
The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.
"Can you sit up for me?"
Virgil did.
"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"
Virgil nodded.
Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.
"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.
"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"
"Yeah."
"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."
"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"
"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."
"The cat?"
"The cat."
Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.
Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.
"Nah, I'm messing with ya."
"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.
"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."
"That bad huh?"
"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."
"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.
Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."
"Touché."
After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.
#storytime au#angst! yay#we love some moxiety angst#i dont know how to fic so bear with it okay#also im really quite proud of patton but thats probably coz i love him
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Forget Me Not Jim Mason x Reader 50 First Dates AU Pt 2
@michael-langdon-appreciation
Y/N couldn’t look away.
The blue eyes were part of it-the only thing familiar on Jim. Even they seemed slightly different, though, as she’d never seen him stare back at her with quite that expression before.
The one that said he was a split second away from swooping in to protect her. Which she might have liked the idea of in principle, but right now, no way.
After two months of having people walk on eggshells around her, she did not need another babysitter. Especially not Jim. Her own big brothers were more than enough of a pain in the patootie. Having the guy who turned her insides to sexual jelly acting all sympathetic and concerned-
Nope.
She wanted him looking at her with a grown-up expression, not as if she were delicate china. Even if currently she was concentrating very hard to stay vertical and not dash back to the bathroom.
Stupid stomach flu.
Another wave of dizziness struck. "Jim-this is fun and all, but I need to call it a night.” Jim blinked before straightening, the entire solid package of male shifting awkwardly toward the door. Like he was hesitating between reaching for her or following her request.
She slipped past him and caught the doorknob, swinging the door open so she could use the solid frame as an anchor to keep herself vertical.
"Okay. I'll go." He paused. "You need anything?"
Y/N clutched the door harder. "Twenty-four hours' shuteye, but thanks for asking." Jim paced forward reluctantly. "I hope you’re feeling better soon."
She lasted until he was in his truck before she locked the door and raced for the bathroom. Classy. Elegant. Way to impress the guy. She couldn’t muster the strength to feel embarrassed. Crawling into bed after she'd rinsed her mouth was the only thing on her mind.
Although the feverish dreams she had that night of Jim Mason doing dirty things to her were a lovely distraction.
Two mornings later the flu was still hanging on, though the nausea was no longer a 24/7 thing. With the fresh taste of toothpaste lingering on her tongue, Y/N strolled into her living room.
Medina had taken up residence on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table. "Sick again?" she asked.
"Duh." Y/N lowered herself gingerly into a chair. "You're the master of the obvious today. Stupid flu bug will not let go of me."
A pale pink box flew across the room, and Y/N caught it instinctively.
"If I’m the Queen of obvious, then you’re my lady in waiting. Flu, shmuu."
She twisted the box toward her, reading out loud. "First Hint. The early pregnancy detection- Hokey spit.Medina."
"If the morning sickness fits ..."
Protests at this point were futile, but there were other more important issues. "Please tell me you didn’t buy this at the local Safeway."
"You think I'm stupid?" Medina folded her arms across her chest. "I was in CVS Pharmacy yesterday. No one we know anywhere around, and yes, I looked. Now go pee on the stick so I can tell you I told you so."
The whole idea was stupid.
Impossible.
But...
The twinge of doubt at the back of her brain was enough to tip Y/N into caving. "Stay here,” she ordered. "I don't need supervision."
Her friend had already opened the box and pulled out what looked like a small stir stick. She held it forward. "Have a ball." Medina retreated enough to give Y/N a moment’s privacy, but she had to admit it was kind of nice to have her there as they stared at the stick lying on the counter.
"If that thing let off a bang about now, I bet we'd both scream loud enough they'd hear us in Winterfell,” Medina quipped.
Y/N looked away for a moment to brace herself. If it was positive, what then?
Pregnant.
On top of everything else?
"How could I be pregnant, Medina?"
Medina held the stick in the air, the two pink positive lines clear and bold. Undeniable.
"Fuck." Y/N leaned on the bathroom door, working to calm her breathing. "Okay, I can deal with this. It's not the end of the world. It's ..." Bursting into tears was the last thing she’d intended, but it happened. A moment later she was being supported by Medina’s firm hug. Petted and coddled all over again like her brothers had been doing for the past two months, but this time she wanted the pampering. At least for a few minutes.
When she pulled herself together, Medina handed her a fresh wad of tissue to replace the set she'd ravaged. Y/N wiped up the last of her tears. "Thanks for being a brat and bringing me the test."
They shuffled awkwardly for a moment before Medina sighed. "Not much use hanging out here unless you want me to try to break into your passwords on the computer again."
"That’s not important right now. I have other things to worry about." Y/N groaned. "And now that I know why I'm sick, I guess I'll find some ways to feel better."
"Rest. More vitamins." Medina nodded. "I'll do some research."
One great big secret that was only going to get bigger. Literally bigger. Y/N wandered into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea while she considered. There was a person growing inside her. She tossed a piece of bread into the toaster, staring out the window as the timer clicked down, the noise echoing in the silent house.
A baby.
click. click. click.
It was clear. She was going to be a mom.
Now the mystery was...would there be a dad or not? That one wasn't nearly as cut and dried.
Jim stared at the house, wishing he’d done this right the first time, immediately after getting home. Six days was as long as he could wait before nearly going stir-crazy. Bubbling inside were far different emotions. Holding back was too much to ask, and he didn't want to wait any longer.
Y/N needed to know what they’d done. What they’d agreed to. She’d had time since the accident. If their relationship ended up being another issue to deal with, at least they’d deal with it together. That didn’t make him an asshole.
He knocked on the door, anxious to get started.
The woman who greeted him was still on the green side, and his heart went out to her even as his gaze took in the rounded curves under her housecoat.
"You still sick?"
She shrugged. "Feeling a bit better. What's up?"
Had to seem strange since he didn't usually drop in on her like this. Not before they'd ... "I need to talk to you."
Y/N frowned. "Something wrong with my brothers? Or at the office?"
"No, nothing. This is personal."
That only seemed to confuse her more. "Give me a second to pull on some clothes, okay?" "No, nothing. This is personal."
He shook his head. "I needed to talk to you about your accident. More specifically, the night before."
Y/N collapsed onto the couch. "This is old boring territory, Jim. I don't-"
"Humor me. I know it's boring because you’ve said it a million times, but I haven’t heard it."
"I was out for the night. Went home. Got my car the next morning, and went off the road into the ditch and bumped my head. You think book or movie options would sell better?"
He ignored the snark. "How did you get home from the bar?"
She opened her mouth, then closed it quickly. "Oh. You drove me. Thanks, if I didn't say it before."
Damn it.
Jim let a growl of frustration escape. “Y/N, We weren’t worried about our please and thank-yous when we got here that night."
Her eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"
He lowered himself beside her on the couch and slipped his hand over hers. "Something happened that night. We both wanted it, and if I hadn’t gone north, we'd be together now."
Her entire body went rigid. "Together, as in how?"
Jim stroked her fingers gently, willing her to at least remember his touch. "We made love, Y/N. A bunch of times. And it was hot and amazing, and I can't wait to do it again."
The pallor of her skin brightened as twin red spots flushed her cheeks. "We...made love. After you drove me home." Her confusion was understandable, so he nodded and went on.
"I know it was shitty timing, not only because of the accident, but because I had to leave the next day. I'm so sorry I wasn’t here for you. Sorry you had to deal with your accident without me around, but I intend on being here for you from now on. No matter what you need."
Y/N stomped away a few feet before twirling on him. "Okay, that wasn't nice. I'm glad you feel like one of the family, Jim, but I certainly never thought you were the type to be willing to sacrifice your entire future on a whim like this."
Somewhere their wires had gotten crossed. "I have no idea how me being a foster kid, or your family, is even involved in this discussion, or what the hell sacrificing my future means. Before I left we said we would work on being together. On spending time and getting to know each other more."
Quite honestly she grew even more confused, agitated even. She couldn't remember any of this, her mind seemed to have a road block.
"Sweet sentiment, especially when you toss in having a kid. Babies aren’t something you can return to the store when they become inconvenient, Jim."
Wait. What? "Babies? What are you talking about?"
She froze with her mouth open as panic slipped into her eyes.
A pit opened in front of Jim, and he stood with one foot in midair over the unfathomable depths. He took in all the signs, lined up the data, then waited for his ability to speak to return. "Wait, are you telling me you're pregnant?"
Holy shit.
Holy fuck.
Holy crap.
Y/N took a deep breath before muttering her response. "So. That went well."
"Answer the question." Jim narrowed the gap between them. "Are you serious? You're pregnant?"
She frowned. "You sure you didn't know?"
"How could I know? Oh man, Y/N. I had no idea." Jim wasn't sure his feet would continue to hold him. It might be a cop-out, but the room was wavering. "I need to sit down." He stumbled backward and collapsed onto the couch. Y/N was pregnant. They'd had sex, she'd had an accident, and he... They. She.
Jim lifted his gaze to meet hers. "How far along are you?"
It was her turn to pause. "Oh, shit, you’re not serious, are you?"
"About what?"
Y/N dropped into the seat opposite him. She made the most hysterical face as she scratched her head. "Good grief. Okay-for the sake of discussion, let’s assume you’re telling the truth. You drove me home and we spent the night knocking boots."
"It is true."
She glared at him. "Let me talk this through without interruption, or I will kick your ass out the door."
His head was still spinning from trying to process the idea of a baby on the way. "You've gotten an attitude since I left," he observed.
"Comes from being knocked around and knocked up." She stared at the ceiling before leaning forward and asking very earnestly. "Now if we did the horizontal mambo, was there a reason why I'd be pregnant? Did we not use a condom? Did it break?"
Jim shook his head. "We used protection, every time. Including in the shower."
Her cheeks went bright red at his comment, but she pushed forward. "Then it makes no sense. It couldn't be you. If...you know, we did what you said."
"It can happen. Condoms aren’t fool proof, and we were pretty enthusiastic." His stomach was in knots. Jim paused. He wasn't trying to get out of his responsibilities, but it would be stupid not to get all the details. "You had the accident the day after I left. Not to be indelicate, but have you been with anyone since?"
She snorted. "Are you freaking kidding me? I’ve been lucky to go shopping without supervision. Jim nodded. "I can believe that. Okay, then. Mystery solved." He dragged a hand through his hair, wondering if he should go hug her or kiss her, or do something other than sit like a bump on a log as he attempted to get over the shock.
Y/N grimaced. "Urn..."
He saw her, heard her, but his brain was racing a million miles an hour.
A baby.
Sweet mercy, he’d had one night with Y/N, and they'd gone and got her pregnant. There was so much wrong with that in so many ways he could barely put one thought behind another. He wanted her. Wanted to care for her, and be there for her. Being a father? Not on the list of things he had planned. Not today, maybe not ever.
Time to think was good. Jim resisted glancing at his watch, because he didn’t give a fuck it wasn’t even noon. His thinking time was going to require a couple hard shots of liquor. "I'll call you this afternoon."
She shook her head. "Tomorrow."
Blast it all. Jim took advantage of his height and crowded her. "Look, I'll admit it. I'm more than a touch floored right now, but that doesn’t change what’s important. I care about you, and whether or not you believe me, I know there is a good possibility I'm the father of your baby. So we can think things through, and talk about them, but there is one thing I want to make clear right now. I will be in your life, Y/N. I will be there to help you, and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind."
For the first time since their strange conversation had begun, a faint hint of a real smile teased her lips and the lines at the corners of her eyes softened. She laid a hand on his crossed arms. "Thank you."
He didn’t remember leaving. Next thing he knew he was in his truck tearing down a quiet back road. The radio remained silent while the snow blanketing the fields rose and fell like an endless sea around him.
Y/N was pregnant, and he was going to be a father.
Flash back to 1 year ago…
Y/N started on her favorite thing at breakfast time. The waffle house. She had finished the structure then was having trouble with the door. The piece fell in the house and Y/N was digging it out carefully with her fingers. Oh no. please don't ruin the house She pulled the piece out and tried again and almost lost it again.
All of a sudden she heard a voice, "Y'know, why don't you try this?" She saw a toothpick go through the piece of waffle house to be the door. She looked up at where the voice came from and saw a guy about her age looking at her. "Now why didn't I think of that?" She said kind of shyly. She kept avoiding eye contact with him. "Well you're too close to the project, don't be too hard on yourself." "You're right." "Sometimes you need an outsiders perspective."
Jim looked at her and smiled. "A fresh eye never hurts." "I'm Y/N." She looked in his eyes and was waiting for his hand to meet hers. He stretched his hand out and grabbed hers with both of his hands. "Yes." "I'm Jim Mason." "Nice to meet you." Their hands let go and they kept staring into each-others eyes. Then Henry broke the silence by saying, "It's pretty, keep up the good work."
"I see you're sitting there alone." "Um, do you want to come sit down?" "Sure, Sure." "That would be great." Jim whispered. "So are you an architect?" She looked into his eyes. "I am not, I work at an aquarium." Y/N smiled. Then looked at him. "Oh, so that's where the smell is coming from." She could see the embarrassment in his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I was feeding the walruses this morning and I thought I got most of it off of me, but I guess not." She saw him take the lemon out of his water and rub it on his hands. She kept staring down at his hands thinking in her head. She then smiled. "I love that smell." "No you don't." "Fish don't even like that smell."
"The best smell in the world." Jim's eyes met Y/N's again and then..."Well, my fingers are available for your sniffing pleasure anytime you need them."
One year seemed like ages ago, Jim held down a job at the time at a local aquarium in PV. The first time he had ever met Y/N was at a local diner, a fond memory but one she may not remember. Jim was deep in thought during the drive, if she didn't remember then he guessed that if he recreated them maybe it might jog her memory.
It was like some nightmare she couldn’t quite wake up from. The only thing keeping her from flipping out completely was the knowledge she had a roof over her head for the long run. The house was hers, lock, stock and barrel, an inheritance from her mom, along with enough money to make being a single mom bearable until the kid was in school and she could work more full-time hours.
And... It wasn’t right, but the other thing grounding her? The expression in Jim's eyes the other day-So serious. So determined and solid in spite of his surprise about the baby.
She leaned on the wall and practiced breathing out her frustration in time with the slow, steady scrapes of the shovel outside her door. Whoever had been clearing her driveway, and the even rasps were strangely calming.
Eventually the noises stopped, and the doorbell rang. She ��expected to see one of her brothers, although they usually stormed in, no matter how often she asked them to knock. Instead it was Jim who leaned on the shovel he’d just finished using on the sidewalk. Somehow he still managed to look all dangerous and sexy even considering the pink plastic handle.
He grinned. "Morning."
Y/N glanced past him at the walkways. "Morning. You've been busy."
She opened the door and let him pass. He'd toed off his boots and followed her into the living area.
They settled across from each other, his gaze staying firmly on her face. Y/N ignored him best she could as she gathered the papers strewn on the table.
The silence stretched on for far too long.
"So..." Jim broke off then cleared his throat. "I hate that there's this wall between us. I'm not going to walk on eggshells anymore, so if I step over a line, tell me to go to hell, okay? We can stop this stupid awkwardness and be honest with each other."
"Fine by me." Y/N leaned back and waited for whatever bomb he wanted to drop this time.
She shrugged. “Life goes on as usual. I try to get over this stupid amnesia as it relates to numbers so I can go back to working at the garage. I take it you'll be starting up at the shop?"
Jim frowned. "I meant what about us?"
Oh boy.
"I..." He wanted honesty. Y/N lifted her eyes to meet his square on. "I like you, Jim Part of me really hopes what you're saying is true because I've would like to get involved with you. I am just frustrated I don't remember anything about us.Of course, that means if we did fool around and I've forgotten, I'm doubly pissed off, because I'd been waiting forever, and it's just wrong to have lost those memories. "
His smile had widened the sexy one that melted her butter faster than it should. "Trust me; I can hardly wait to make some new ones."
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. She held up a hand as if to ward him off. "But we can't. Not yet."
Confusion crowded his expression. "If you want to be with me, and I want to be with you, then why aren’t we getting together, Y/N? Why aren’t we facing the future, and your pregnancy, as partners the way we should?"
A wave of sadness and frustration rolled over her leaving her exhausted. " I admit that I do like you, Jim, but as far as I know we've never even kissed. How on earth can I simply go 'hey, okay' and dive headfirst into a long-term relationship with you? None of it makes sense, and not being sure is frustrating me more and more."
Anger boiled over, and she whipped the pillow from her hands. It spun across the room, narrowly missing a table lamp. Y/N pressed her fists against her temples as she fought to settle down.
Stupid hormones. Or maybe the "new Y/N ” had triggered her over-the-top response. The one with far too much vinegar in her blood.
Jim hadn’t taken his gaze off her. Jim was on his feet in an instant, gently rubbing her upper arms as he made soothing noises. He pulled her against his chest, and it wasn’t sexual, just comfort and understanding.
Y/N twisted her face to the side, slipped her arms around him and accepted his hug. Let the warmth of the embrace twine around them. Let the smooth repetitive touch of his hands down her back relax away the tension. She stood there in his arms for a good five minutes before all the frustration and fire had eased off enough that she could finally take a deep breath.
Jim squeezed her a little tighter. "I'm here for you. Like this, if nothing more. My commitment has no agendas, no deadlines. Just one moment after another until we make it through."
Under her cheek his heart pumped out a smooth, even tempo, and Y/N clung tight. To the firm support of his body and gentle touch of his hands. While she wants him in some half-dreamed-of sexual-fantasy world, right now things were still so unsettled.
It was nice to have one solid place to stand. One solid individual she could lean against who helped stop the spinning, even for a moment. She stepped away from him reluctantly. As nice as it was to have his support, she wanted to get her life back .
Credit to @carolthors
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Loosen up. (Bodyguard!Klaus Goldstein x Reader)
Requested: 66. "I like you. You're different." + 73. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions." From the promt list.
Genre: Fluff/idk if this also counts as suggestive? Only if you're very innocent I guess? And if you're on tumblr then you probably aren't so nvm 😂
A/N: sorry for being so inactive lately I've been busy with studying and such so I generally couldn't find it in me to write so yeah :/ (I have a trial tomorrow so like idk pray for me 😂) but here I am! ヽ(゜~゜o)ノ Also yes I'm aware this isn't how Vincent acts and he's not filthy rich but for now we're gonna let it slide okay? Cool. 😂
(Second Person Point of View)
"That's when I decided it was time to buy my fifth car; I mean who attends their first day of college with the same old cars, right?" The man laughs. You suspected that if he stopped boasting for longer than 2 seconds, he'd suffocate and die. You kind of hoped to witness that.
It'd been 2 hours already, yet you weren't allowed to leave the party until your dad says you could. You'd even tried to convince your bodyguard to let you leave without your father knowing anything of the incident, but Klaus was far too strict and responsible; he'd never do such a reckless thing.
Yeah, sure, it's good for your dad to have found such a trustworthy employee, but when you've been stuck talking to these blatantly boring and arrogant people that only viewed you as a good deal to obtain more wealth, well, let's just say: it makes you sort of wish Klaus cared less.
However, that was not the case. In fact, while all bodyguards waited outside, Klaus remained inside -only a few feet away from you at any given time. He also seemed to always be giving you a look that could only be describe as the look a mother gives when you have people over, and she's daring you to mess anything up.
Now, you weren't the stereotypical bratty child that refuses to take over their parents' company. You knew your responsibility and always hoped to make them proud; you just weren't a big fan of the world surrounding all the important people in business. Therefore, it made you yearn for messing around from time to time.
Today was one of those days. You so desperately hoped Klaus would get off your back for even just a few moments, so you could escape the exhausting setting. But he continued with the angry-mother-glare; it almost seemed like he'd gotten the expression tattooed on his face after the endless times he had to get you out of trouble.
There was definitely a bright side to that extra attention, though. You suspected Klaus had a thing for you. After all, he was known to be very good at his job; he could easily quit and get a job less demanding with an equal pay or even a bigger pay if he wanted, but he didn't. He decides to stay with a teenage girl that enjoys pushing his buttons. He was professional, so he wouldn't say anything or let it show, but you had this feeling in your guts that he at least felt intrigued by you.
And, surely, you were ready to use this to your advantage.
You glance towards the blond at the corner of the room, ensuring he was still staring (threateningly, but still staring nevertheless). His eyebrow arches slightly, sensing you were about to do something dumb. You could almost hear him think God, what is it this time?!
You focus your attention back on the man whose name you'd forgotten about 2 seconds after he introduced himself.
"So, I heard you're staying at the hotel here for the entire duration of the event." You smile sweetly.
"Yeah, I am." He takes a sip out of his drink.
You begin flirtatiously twirling a strand of your hair. "Well, how about you take me to have a look upstairs?"
Startled by the unexpected implications of your request, he chokes on his drink and starts coughing. You try your best not to appear disgusted, giving him a smile when he's done with his coughing session.
Sure enough, he agrees and links your arms together, leading you towards the exit of the section the party was held in.
"Miss (Y/N)," Klaus speaks through gritted teeth. He wore a smile and kept his voice quiet, but there was no denying he was ready to scold you. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Upstairs." You smile, playing dumb.
"What do you mean up-" after losing his calm for a second, Klaus cuts himself off to take a deep breath and let it out before proceeding. "Would you please excuse us, Mr. Knight?" Klaus bows lightly before dragging you to an empty corner.
"You think just because you're leaving with a guest, I'll allow you to go?" Klaus whispers in annoyance.
"What? Are you jealous?" You wiggle an eyebrow at him, knowing well enough that wasn't the reason (well, not the main one, at least).
Lips pulled into a pained smile, Klaus glares. "Are you asking for an insult? I think you're abusing that service I provide for you a hundred times per minute."
"Come on, Klausie; loosen up." You poke his chest with your index finger. You knew the redhead -or Mr. Knight- was probably still waiting for you, but you couldn't care less. You wanted to stretch out the process of bugging Klaus as long as possible, since it was the only way to spend time with him. It was also fun watching his nose scrunch and his eyebrows furrow in such anger. He would try to mask his frustration, but it was obvious he had a short temper when it came to you. To put it nicely, he was done with your shit.
"Don't, under any circumstances, call me Klausie." He threatens. "And I don't need to loosen up; you need to stop being so careless!"
"Sure." Rolling your eyes, you step away from him.
Before you could take two full steps, Klaus had already grabbed your arm. "Going somewhere?"
You pull your hand away. "The bathroom. Am I not allowed to answer the call of nature either?" You raise an eyebrow questioningly.
"Touché." He raises his hands in defeat, but once you begin walking away, he follows.
"Where are you going?"
"Just ensuring you don't get any funny ideas." He shrugs.
Huffing, you decide to ignore him. Thankfully, he was only planning to stand near the door; it didn't seem too strange imagining Klaus walking in for "safety measures": the guy was crazy when it came to his job.
"Man, another pretty dress gone to waste." You sigh, looking into the mirror. The sparkling violet fabric clung onto your body till your waist then flowed freely, reaching to merely graze the floor. It was one of the dresses you really liked; you loved the way it showed your shoulder blades and only a portion of your back; it was sexy yet classy. The glittery purple was certainly your colour too! Alas, your dad would scold you for rewearing a dress more than he would scold you if you were to kill a person (as long as you've hidden the evidence well, that is). Murder can be covered up, but 'horrible fashion choices' cannot be hidden, according to your father. Sometimes you went against that, but most of the time, you just complied, even though it's an absolute waste of money.
"You're taking too long, you know that?" Klaus calls from outside, impatience clear in his voice.
You bite back a response when you realize there's something much better you could do. Quietly checking the stalls, you ensure you're 100% alone inside.
"Could there be a valid reason you're not responding to me?!"
Ignoring his question, you just scream in response. "Klaus! Klaus, help me!" You screech frantically.
The door bursts open, and Klaus steps inside aggressively. Before he could realize what's happening, you push him back against the door, slamming it behind him.
Smug about catching him off guard, you smirk at the taller male, whose body was closely pressed against yours. "Were you worried?" You tease.
"About losing my job? Yeah." He scoffs, turning his head away from you but not bothering to push you away.
"Why is it always about the job?" You tilt your head to meet his eyes again.
"Because I'm at work?" He states with a raised eyebrow, as if it sounded stupid for you to even ask that.
You run your hands gently over his chest; even through layers of clothing, you could still feel the firm muscles concealed by the black suit. "Well, maybe it's time for a break." You grin innocently.
"You do know you can't fool me, right?" He takes one of your hands away from him but doesn't let go of it.
Rolling your eyes, you move away from him. "I'm not fooling you; I want us to have fun! Neither one of us is enjoying this anyway." You cross your arms.
An unexpected response sparks excitement within you. "Well, what do you suggest we do?" You knew he was only being sarcastic, but it gave you a pathway for more methods to push his buttons and witness his reactions.
Closing the distance between both of you once more, you stand on the tip of your toes as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck. "Oh, I have a lot of suggestions." You whisper in his ear, feeling him flinch lightly at your suggestive remark. You could tell he was trying to hide it and pretend he wasn't phased, but you'd already noticed it, and he knew it.
"You're gonna get me fired." Cheeks slightly red, he turns his head away and gently parts your bodies from each other. "God, why is it so hard to handle you? It's like dealing with a troublemaking child."
"You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions." You stick your tongue out at him. "Plus, father won't know anything if neither one of us told him." You point out what seemed to have escaped Klaus's perception of the situation.
"You want me to lie to your father." He laughs in disbelief.
"Mmhm, not quite. More like not telling him the full truth."
"That's exactly what lying is."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No."
"Yes."
"Okay, stop! Fine, lie! I don't know!" You fling your arms in the air out of frustration. A novel sound catches your attention, immediately flushing away the frustration. Klaus was laughing. Not sarcastically. No, a genuine laugh was echoing across the bathroom.
"I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing if we talk a walk for some fresh air and come back." He smiles. "Just this time though!"
An uncontrollable grin spreads across your face, and you immediately throw your arms around Klaus. "Thank you!"
"You gotta stop..doing..this.." He awkwardly pats your back, careful not to touch your bare skin.
"No promises!" You shrug, before grabbing his hand and rushing outside, making your way to the exit.
"Miss (Y/N)?" You freeze in your spot. "Where are you going?"
"Oh, um.." you stutter, not expecting to have to explain yourself to your companion from earlier.
"We got an emergency call; we'll be right back." Klaus, in his usual composed state, 'explains' to Mr. Knight.
"Ah, I see." Red head may be an idiot, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell something wasn't right, but he either chose to let it slide or he just didn't care. Regardless, you were thankful. "I'll be waiting for your return then." With a smile and a bow, he left and disappeared into the crowd.
"You'll catch a cold." Klaus states, watching you twirl and run around in the chilly October weather.
You weren't cold, or maybe you didn't dislike being cold. It wasn't the type of cold to make you unable to take a few proper steps and force you to do an awkward penguin walk; rather, it was the type of cold to merely caress your skin, decorating it with goosebumps. "Don't worry; I'm alright."
"Just take my jacket. Your back and shoulders are exposed; you must be cold." He spoke with such certainty that it almost made you rethink for a few moments about whether you actually felt cold or not.
"Are you worried or are you just intimidated by how sexy I look?" You strike a pose far from seducing.
Klaus, who had his jacket held out for you, resumed walking as he put his jacket back on. "You know, on second thought, it might be a good thing if you catch a cold and stay at home for a week or so." He passes by you, leaving you and your sexy pose alone.
"Hey! That was mean!" You catch up to him.
"Nothing new, then." He shrugs, a slight smirk forcing itself onto his pink lips.
You speed up a little then turn around to face him once you're slightly ahead of him; you remain walking, but backwards this time, allowing yourself to look at him during the conversation. "How could you be mean to such a beautiful lady?" You pout.
"What beautiful lady?" He looks around, pretending to search for something.
You let out a dramatic gasp. "How could y-" Your sentence was inconveniently cut off by your stumble; or perhaps, it was a slightly convenient situation when you think about it from a different perspective: Klaus, as sharp as usual, was able to grasp your arm, preventing you from falling.
"Uh, thanks." You breathe out, nodding slightly. Once you begin to straighten yourself up, Klaus lets go of your arm, only to watch you fall to the ground immediately after. "I think my heel broke.." you frown, staring at your left shoe, now with its heel lying a few inches away.
"You think?" Klaus earns a glare, urging him to put aside the sarcasm and help you up.
"Those were such a cute pair.." you sigh, placing your arm around Klaus's shoulder for support. Your arms were already hurting due to the height difference; it was like hanging from a cliff but not quite.
Klaus places an arm around your waist. "Well, I can buy you another one. You need another pair to get back to the party anyway."
"What if I don't?"
"Don't what? Get back to the party? That's not what we agreed on! Your father-"
You cut off his rant, "We'll get back there, and I'll call dad and inform him that my heel broke; he'd immediately allow me to leave. It's already late anyway."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
######
"Yes, Klaus, I'm sure he'd let me go home if I tell him my heel broke! Of course, Klaus, there's no way he would have some other plans for me!" Your bodyguard mimicks your voice and tone (terribly), as you sit in the back of the car your dad sent with a brand new pair of shoes.
"How would I have known he would do this?!" You complain, tightening the straps of the new shoes around your ankle.
"Well, hurry up, knight dude is probably waiting for you." Arms crossed, he taps his foot impatiently. You merely groan in response.
"I can't believe he didn't even tell me he booked a room for me at the hotel! And that I have to attend the same event tomorrow too! I didn't even bring any change!"
"Um, Miss (Y/N), your father asked me to hand you this too.." the driver quietly places a small suitcase on the back seat next to you.
"There you go; he packed stuff for you." You weren't sure if Klaus was trying to tease you or comfort you, but either way, you just let out a sigh.
After a long, mentally and physically exhausting night, you were finally allowed to leave. And boy, were you delighted to recieve the news.
"This one." You pause in front of the room that had the same number on the keycard. Klaus had already placed your bag inside earlier, but it was your first time viewing the room. "At least the room is pretty." You shrug.
"Didn't think you'd admit it." Klaus chuckles. "Well, I have to go; so, good night, Miss (Y/N); I'll be back here tomorrow." He bows.
"Wait!" You stop him before he steps outside the room.
As I have reached the 100 block limit, I'll complete this in Part 2...which I'll literally post now and it'll be shorter than this cuz it's just the ending 😂
#shall we date#wizardess heart#shall we date wizardess heart#klaus goldstein#liz hart#wizardess heart klaus#wizardess heart liz#shall we date imagine#wizardess heart imagine#klaus#liz#wizardess heart one shot#shall we date scenario#shall we date one shot#shall we date fluff#wizardess heart fluff#klaus imagine#klaus one shot#klaus goldstein one shot#klaus goldstein imagine#klaus x reader#klaus goldstein x reader#klaus goldstein fluff#vincent knight#wizardess heart vincent
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Week 1
Exercise
1 film that’s stayed with me and remembered. The Secret Garden, 1993, dir. Agnieszka Holland.
Cinematography wide shots and beautiful establishing shots, opening shot is a lone girl that can’t clothe herself, left in dead centre with lots of space around her, the closeups of hands feels very innocent and intricate- they feel like a soft, innocent female gaze.
Lighting contrast between the stale dark inside and the light garden
Editing not noticed so much
The script, partly cheesy cause it’s about children trying/forced to grow up too fast, and a period like flick
Production design, old timey and frilly, but oh boy their green set designer went OFF 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Tone, lonely and hollow to a slow burn hope
Theme….
theme? Did it speak to me? Yes, the absence of parents- chosen to or not, running around finding wonder, kindness and strength in a garden
How did I feel? Loved and seen- a lost and lonely child that internally begs for love but has an inability to regulate her emotions- Collin too!
What kind of film would I like to be a part of HORROR or like something that can incite hope and make all types of children feel seen
EXERCISE 2
Director that inspires me: Gia Coppola
Resource on their process: ‘everything was trying to reach out to as many people as I could.’ Many of them stayed at Coppola’s mother’s house during filming. “I would drive them home after work and we’d all have dinner,” Coppola says, “It was like camp. I loved it.”
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/%3foutputType=amp
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco/amp
Notes on script:
Does the camera show that she’s dead?
When do we learn that she’s dead- same time as him or before?
Rewrite in program with proper formatting
Week 3…
I was able to get together with a crew member and get the new draft of the script done. I have a bit of trouble understanding sometimes how to properly structure a script after coming from a book writing background, so I was really thankful that she was able to help me understand even better. The feedback from previous classes has centred around its general ‘look’ as a script and whether the viewer is in on knowing that Alexis is dead, and from the strat I’ve wanted the audience to know to further their distaste towards Ross, otherwise the audience could say ‘well hey I missed it, I get why he did’. Her choking will take place on camera, close up, so we can watch her leave us.
Week 4…
Getting ready for the pitch has been a huge mental struggle for me, but I keep holding onto the idea of actually making this film and that definitely gets me into our team meetings on the days it feels impossible. I’m already so happy with the crew and their thoughts and contributions, but it doesn’t kill my anxiety of presenting. I feel like the script is at a good point based on feedback, so when we presented and the main concern was finding a production designer, I felt immediate relief… okay we can tackle that. There is a pressure I’ve found quite uncomfortable so far in my journey in this class, and it’s even after filling the crew roles, a certain student not even in this class has become quite intense in getting involved as camera operator despite that role being VERY explicitly filled. I plan on keeping polite but firm, but god why should I have to?
Week 5…
So… despite the previous week's tiny rant of someone trying to vulture a filled role, our original DOP is now the 1st AD and someone else within our crew has taken on DOP, a choice we were actually all really content with. A search for a production designer continues, but we have to focus on scouting our potential Ross and Alexis. Unfortunately none from the team- including myself, could make it to crewing night, however, another student pitched on our behalf. The main goal is to obviously fill the production designer role, so fingers are crossed in the meantime. There was no class this week so I definitely spent the week taking care of myself and finishing off my slides for the pitch for next week, and I’m pretty happy with my slides and that most in the crew have stuck to the same aesthetic through the slides (minus points for memes).
Week 6…
Pitch week, so I’m ill with anxiety for it, but nonetheless, meds taken, train caught and standing before the panel. After the comments from the panel on how it very obviously pulls away from the serious nature of content, I was pretty bummed I didn’t just quickly delete people’s memes before the pitch. Overall I felt pretty good about how it went, but that’s only because that’s how my crew told me to feel about it. My anxiety was so bad while presenting, that I blacked out. In moments of intense anxiety I will disassociate entirely, I know I spoke, but I know nothing that I said or that was said to me. This is an incredibly frustrating process for me, especially because I have had to rely on my crews memories on the pitch, which definitely doesn’t feel fair. They assure me we are on the right path, and just that we should get a move on with casting. Still no production designer.
Week 7…
Mental health and substance abuse are taking a bad turn this week and it is affecting how easily it is for me to communicate effectively with my crew. I won’t be able to open messages or even show I’m online out of fear of disappointing and giving wrong/no answers. I feel entirely overwhelmed and I can feel myself falling behind. There’s still no production designer and at this point I’m willing to do it because I fear it’ll turn into a shit show anyway. I have been experiencing the worst internet from home and it’s been making getting anything done when I’m finally mentally available, impossible. I’m tired and as much as I love this script, I just want this trimester over.
Week 8…
This week for The Silent Treatment, we’ve been taking a look at Producer Sina’s Starnow casting calls for both roles, as well as looking at AirBnB’s for possible locations, which has lead to playful but extenuating bickering on the dop and producers part over ‘apartment or house’, which honestly, it’s quite easy reigning them in when they get a little too passionate. But I’ve actually found their bickering and passionate opinions on options for the film and helping restore my own fight for this film too. We have a few meetings coming up over our discord and we’ve been polishing up our previous presentation slowly.
Week 9…
We’re cutting down through our pickings for actors as well as getting excited over the possibility of taking James Lewis on as production designer. He actually appears to listen and understand quite well and he’s always writing notes in his book for props and decor. I’ve shared my ideas and I’m hoping he can fulfil my needs. This week was a really difficult one for me mentally (big shock and huge surprise) so I’ve actually been trying to make a plan to stay well and that’s by putting together a rehab stay, a huge and terrifying step I’m still not sure I’m going to actually take.
Week 10…
I’ve lost all of myself and my motivation this week. A rehab stay is officially scheduled and I’m afraid and trying so hard to reignite my passion for film and my own words and stories, but I don’t think it is worth it. I know I’ll look back in a week to a few weeks and struggle to understand why I hated my work so much, but I think when you hate you, everything you touch looks disgusting. I’ve been incredibly fortunate for my friends- some on my crew- and I’m INCREDIBLY fortunate for the crew members that don’t really know me from a bar of soap being exceptionally soft and kind with me during my low period. Knowing my team are such lovely people is actually a much better reason to get off my ass and do this- for them- not for me and my silly story…
Week 11…
We finally have short listed actors AND location and now we have those last auditions to wade through. Internally I definitely have decided on my location and actress, but for the male actor I’m not so sure yet. One guy auditioned and while he played it quite well, it was his in between chats that had me slightly off, as he kept feeling the need to drill in that he isn’t ‘this guy’, which of you arent, you don’t feel the need to tell everyone, which is why I’m keen to give another actor a whirl and see where to go from there. My fashion designer friend is still keen to make the scrubs and we’ve all worked out a decent pay for her services- I love bringing friends from other art disciplines into my films, eg placing crazy art from my painter friend, decorating the sets with my friends published books and even my nursing friend belinda wants to give me a bunch of medical supplies to set dress!
Week 12...
Big pitch next week and I’m terrified- how can I actually feel so prepared but terrified. The last male actor to audition BLEW me away and I felt a real chemistry when talking to him between the breaks which means I’m really looking forward to directions BOTH actors, as they’re super lovely and open and very relaxed to speak with! Location is LOCKED and I couldn’t be happier with the pick made! We just keep polishing away at the presentation, and yes, the memes are still coming out of the woodworks...
Week 13…
I'm not angry over the pitch, but I wouldn’t say I left happy… some of the ‘criticisms’ felt so empty and UTTERLY devoid of actual meaning. I mean, and I’m sorry, but this script was the same script written 1 year ago. No changes were made because I didn’t receive criticism through these weeks to do so- sure structure of the actual script itself changed but the scene where he imposes himself in her space was ALWAYS there, and I know the lecturers can have a lot to remember, but DO NOT ever say ‘this part wasn’t always here’ and ‘no I think we would’ve noticed’ had me boiling. It’s important to not talk with so much confidence in these kinds of times, as we all can forget things, but to stand and tell someone what they wrote and didn’t write in front of a crowd of people in higher positions than them, that’s insulting. I’m happy to take the criticisms about that ‘rape implication’ exert VERY easily, but it could have been addressed in week 1. I also do believe that younger lecturers NEED to be in these pitches, as it is a crowd of older people and senses of humour and film are changing and that should be fairly judged by a RANGE of ages.
APA REFERENCING
Gia Coppola talks directing James Franco’s “Palo Alto” and the pressures of her last name (Q&A). (n.d.). Washington Post. Retrieved June 25, 2021, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/
Nast, C. (2014, April 4). Gia Coppola On Palo Alto, Personal Style, and James Franco. Vogue. https://www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco--
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