#i study for a couple hours and then i'm just falling asleep lmao

[haveateadude]

bleak horizons iii.

summary *. �� ⋆·˚ opening up it's not easy, isn't it?

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm mention, and disordered eating (not explicitly mentioned but you can clearly see it's there)

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ helloooo welcome to part 3!!!!!! i think this might be the last part (if u have an idea on how this can continue feel free to tell me. u can send a request or just leave the idea in the comments). also just saying, this stuff is based on MY issues and experiences with mental health, so this might not be truthful to everyone. my insta is @/starsfinder_ if anyone wants to vent or just talk :))

remember you're not alone if you're going through a shitty moment, trust me!! ik everyone says to ask for help, and even if that's soo fucking true i know some people are not listened (even if that's literally a fucking RIGHT). so, as i said, you can dm me <33 take care of yourselves pleaseee. can't stress enough how much i want y'all to know you're not alone. hi. hello. i care!!!!!!!! and i'm here!!!!!! so please listen to me when i say everything's going to be alright :)) i love youuuuuu

also, sorry for any mistakes. i'm sooo tired rn lmao

pt1 — pt2 — pt3

I told you a lie, désolé, mon amour

I'm trying my best, don't know what's in store

The next week, I stepped out of therapy crying. I got into the car, slamming the door.

“Hey,” Ellie says softly, looking at me with her hands resting on the wheel, her gaze full of worry. “You okay?”

“Drive.”

“But—”

“Just drive.”

“Okay.”

Ellie starts driving. I wipe my tears, feeling overwhelmed. My mother had called yesterday and made me feel like shit. I wasn't doing my best at school. Ellie and I hadn't gone out since Christmas. So basically, everything was shit. I've also had urges to relapse, and they're just not going away.

I cry. Ellie drives. This is okay. It's okay. Except that it's not, and I haven't told my therapist anything about myself yet. My mother hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and my father sent a cat video on WhatsApp this morning. And Ellie’s knuckles are turning white from how hard she’s gripping the wheel, which makes my heart ache because I know she cares. It makes me want to tell her everything, but the words are stuck in my throat, and I can't seem to get them out.

We arrive at the apartment a couple of minutes later. Ellie doesn’t immediately open the doors, and I've calmed down enough to answer when she asks, “Baby? Are you feeling okay?”

I nod, looking away. The people that I see walking around look sad.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay if you’re not, though,” she says. I stay quiet, doubting it. Ellie nudges me with her elbow, looking for an answer. “Hey.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I know.”

Ellie pats me on the thigh before getting out of the car. I get out, too. I don't bother eating dinner that night; I just go straight to bed and fall asleep.

The next few days felt monotonous. I've fallen back into my sadness, the type that isn't bitter but sweet. It doesn't make me want to relapse. It makes me want to stay in bed more hours than I'd like, takes my appetite away, and leaves me feeling nothing but numbness.

I wake up, go to work, study, attend uni, come home, and sleep. The cycle repeats and repeats, and I'm so, so very tired.

Today, I took the day off. I knew I was too tired to do anything, so I planned to rot in bed. Ellie knocks on the door, but I don't answer. I hear the door creak open and the light from the living room creeping in.

"Hey," Ellie says, her voice coming from behind me. "Mind if I lay next to you?"

"It's fine," I say with a hoarse voice. I feel the bed sink at my side, and then Ellie is behind me, wrapping her arm around my torso and nuzzling her face into my neck, leaving a kiss right there. I feel cozy and comfortable. I don't know if this will last. I hope it does because it's a feeling I've never experienced before—someone comforting me? That has never happened.

"Do you want to talk about what's going on?" she asks. I stay quiet. "I care about you. I'm worried."

I do want to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't.

"I'm fine."

"You always say that… You haven't gotten out of bed since you came from work, and the frozen lasagna you were going to make for yourself last weekend has been in the fridge since then." She stays quiet for a second, her fingertips caressing my arm. "You're not doing fine, baby."

Millions of thoughts go through my head. Thoughts I don't say. I don't want her to leave; I don't want her to see how I feel.

"I'm trying, though." It's easy to say since Ellie isn't looking at my face directly. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I blink them away; I blink, blink, and blink again. Fast.

Ellie stays quiet, her breath tickling my neck. She kisses the back of my head again, her hand holding mine. I hold it to my chest. "I know. But you don't have to be alone in this."

That hits me like a truck. I wasn't expecting to be held by her, let alone her saying I don't have to be alone. A tear falls from my eye, landing on the pillow. I sniff, and Ellie holds me tighter, not saying anything. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with her free hand and kisses my temple.

"I'm sorry," I say, in a moment of pathetic weakness. She hugs me even closer.

"Hey, no. Don't apologize. C'mon, turn around."

I let go of her hand, turning around. Her left hand cups my face and she kisses my cheek, then my forehead, and then she kisses the tears that fall on my cheeks. When she pulls away, she gives me a small smile, "You're going to be okay."

She doesn't want you. She's your friend; she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think, she'll leave.

I wake up on Ellie's chest, it feels good to be comforted, I've found. Her phone is on the nightstand, so I just reach it and look at the time. It's eight o'clock. I've fallen asleep for two hours. I try to make myself more comfortable on her chest, attempting not to wake her, but my movements fail and she stirs.

"Hey," she says, her voice still laced with sleep. "What time is it?"

"It's still night," I say, closing my eyes. "We slept for two hours.'

"Feeling better?" I feel comfortable enough to shake my head. "Do you want to talk about it? I told you, I'm worried. And don't bullshit me with the whole 'I'm fine' shit, yeah?"

I stay quiet as her thumb caresses my back, "Did I tell you why I'm going to therapy?" Ellie shakes her head. "Well—back home I had some… issues. Mental health stuff related. I kept going back to depressive episodes. And one day I just asked for help from my mom, because I—I just couldn't stop self harming."

"Baby," Ellie says, hugging me tighter and kissing the top of my head. "What happened? Did your mother react well?"

"Yeah. Surprisingly. I got help. Got better. Sometimes it comes back, and I still get urges sometimes, but I can control it. It isn't as bad as it was before. But lately, it's just—yeah."

"You don't do that anymore, do you?" She asks, worried.

"No," I shake my head. "Not anymore."

"And what about the urges, do you still get them?" I nod, slowly. Ellie plays with my hair. "And therapy? Is it helping?"

"I haven't told her anything, yet. I—I don't know, I can't talk about it."

"What if I go to the next session? If you're okay with that, of course. If you still don't feel comfortable we can look for another therapist or another way to get you help."

I hide my face in her chest when she says the last word. I don't know why I've been refusing to get help. I don't know why I don't like that word. I sigh as Ellie stops playing with my hair and begins rubbing my back.

"I think—I think I would like it if you go with me."

"Okay. Okay, then. I'll go." The room falls to silence again for a few seconds. I feel ashamed for telling her. "I'm sorry you have to go through this… I wish I could do more."

"You're doing more than enough," I assure her. It's my time to hug her tighter. "You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this."

"Yeah?" She seems surprised. "I'm glad you talked to me. I'm here for you if you need anything—I mean it. You just have to tell me, I will listen… You could've told me sooner."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize. I’m just saying, I'm here for you. I've been there for you, always. And… is there something I can do to help?"

"Just be there," I say. "That's enough."

"Mhm, I'll stay."

I think she wants you, a little voice in my head says. I think she loves you, and I don't think she'll ever leave.

Maybe I'll be okay, after all.

[mybedroomceilingsbored]

sweetheart, i'm so sorry all this is going on rn. life is such a bitch sometimes but i promise this will pass! you're such a strong and resilient person and i'm so proud of you for still being here, even through everything you've been through.

as soon as you get home (i *think* it's still during the school day for you, but don't quote me on that lol! google is not very reliable) wrap yourself in a blanket, make yourself some cocoa, and get those tears out!!! crying has been proven to release oxytocin and endorphins, it WILL make stuff better :)

here's a link if you want an overview: https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/is-crying-good-for-you#1 (i'm a bio nerd, don't mind me! i haven't read this all the way through, sorry if the article's iffy in any way)

the us public school system sucks, but i have the benefit of taking a bunch of college-level courses (i'm homeschooled, technically)! i'd be happy to help you study with anything, if you have any questions i'd love to either help you or give you links/resources for it. even just having someone to talk it through with helps sometime, let me know what i can do!

tests are shit and i'm so sorry. you've got some kind of fall break coming up, right? or did that already happen?

i'm revoking your screen privileges (joking!). try shutting off screens a couple hours before you go to bed-ik it's really strange and hard, especially since you've got this system online! and ik that homework/school stuff might keep this from being possible. Still, it'll help you sleep! try having a warm (non-caffeinated) drink before bed, turning on white noise/nature sounds if you like them, and focusing on your breathing as you're trying to fall asleep. i like doing this: https://www.cedars-sinai.org/content/dam/cedars-sinai/community-benefits/documents/five-finger-breathing.pdf

school is... school. and i don't really have any tips for it, but keep in mind that it's for a finite amount of time! look up the number of days until you have a break or until you graduate, it's honestly pretty encouraging. if you ever want to vent or talk i'm here!!!

sorry for the ESSAY lmao... i got a little carried away. i love you so much and i'm so glad you're here! you're such a sweet, creative, and authentic person and i'm really grateful to have you as a friend <3

hii angel, how's it going?

possible tw?? also kinda vent

im so tired all the time

i wanna cry

i did shit on exams and my parents are bullying me for it

i cant sleep

fucking school is the last place i want to be right now

but my parents only let me stay home if im throwing up or have covid

i want to die

[asgardian--angels]

maybe someday i’ll stop being berated and ridiculed for being a night owl

[rebeccccccaaa]

ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ

_________________________________

ғʀᴀᴛ ʙᴏʏ!sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you and steve hooked up once and neither of you can forget that night

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: smut 18+ minors dni plz, kinda rough? but of course major fluffy aftercare from soft boi stevie, bit of inexperienced reader and insecure reader

(accidentally written unprotected sex but this is fanfiction lmao plz be safe irl)

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: ive never participated in a challenge before and i think @honeysucklesteve is just the sweetest so hope you like it el! And congrats on 4k :T

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“And the interesting thing about that, mind I add…” the words of your professor falling short because you can’t shake the feeling of his eyes looking at you.

You kept your head low fighting the urge within you not to look back. A couple nights ago you landed yourself in the bed of the infamous frat president Steve Rogers and to make matters worse, you both major in American Studies meaning you share all of your classes.

You didn’t have much experience with guys in high school so it wasn’t surprising when you had the same experience in college. What was surprising was the fact you spent a night in the arms of one of the most handsome men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Steve Rogers was a huge catch. Teachers loved him, girls chased him,and guys wanted to be him.

You remember that night so vividly.

The way his hands fit so perfectly on your hips. The way his lips felt so hot against your own burning skin; and moved perfectly against yours. The things he whispered in your ear. They way he held you close when you fell asleep in his arms. The way you hated yourself the next morning when you snuck out. The way your tummy flutters simply because he’s looking at you right now.

You breathed out shakily before turning your head to find his eyes with yours; he looked away the moment you did shyly, very unlike him. Fuck he was gonna be the death of you.

“And that should be the end of the lecture. I’m gonna go ahead let you guys go a little early. Have a good weekend everyone and make sure to check your emails,” the professor gathered his things and left.

You packed your things quickly trying your best to avoid his gaze that you knew was still on you. Steve packed quickly too before walking hot on your tail, just about to call your name until…

“Hey, Y/n,” Bucky called out.

“Oh, hey Buck.”

“It’s the weekend and as usual the guys and I want to party tonight. But the dean said one more noise complaint about our house and we get on academic probation so we’re asking a couple of people who might wanna come to the club with us.”

Behind Bucky you could see Steve walking towards you two and your stomach sank. Bucky and Steve were best friends and you don’t know if Steve told him that you guys slept together last weekend. What if something happens again tonight if you say yes. Why are you even thinking that something could happen again? Steve Rogers is way out of your league it was a miracle that you landed a chance to be his bed warmer in the first place.

“I’ll see you for lunch, man,” Steve said to Bucky patting his best friend's shoulders. His eyes lingering with yours until you had to pull away.

“I don’t think I should,” you told him, walking towards the door.

“Come on, Nat told me you're quite the party animal and you left early last week I didn’t get to see you in action,” Bucky chuckled, walking with you. You didn’t leave early…

“Buck,” you looked at him.

“Please?” he asked. You exhaled sharply rolling your eyes before walking away to your next class.

“Is that a yes?” he shouted, making you turn around with a cheeky grin. You got to your next class and noticed Steve sitting in a new seat today, particularly the one next to the seat you usually sit in. None of his housemates or regular friends took this specific lecture so he usually sat in the very back corner alone. But today here he is.

His head snapped up when you entered the room. You hesitantly sat down next to him still avoiding his eyes. You set up your laptop on the small table as did Steve; both your eyes glancing at each other quite awkwardly until Steve finally interrupts the silence.

“You coming tonight?” he whispered.

“What’s in it for me if I do?” you said playfully.

“A repeat of the best night you’ve ever had,” he said cheekily.

“Oh, really,” you chuckled sarcastically as he nodded with an overly proud smirk.

“Probably not,” you answer his question.

“Seriously? Why not? I can pick you up,” he said.

“Steve,” you warned.

“What? Afraid you won’t be able to resist me?”

“You’re so full of it,” you said, making you both laugh.

“You were full of my dick last week,” he whispered.

“Steve!” you punched his side making him laugh hard enough for other students to take notice of your ruckus.

“Welcome class, we’ll begin the lecture in one minute. I’m just gonna pull it up on the projector,” the professor said rushing in.

“Please come tonight,” he whispered.

“Why are you obsessed with me?” you joked.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled.

“If I say ok, will you shut up for the rest of the lecture?”

“Maybe,” he grinned.

“Then maybe I’ll come,” you smirked.

Throughout the lecture Steve paid absolutely no attention whatsoever. Steve had been thinking about that night just as much as you had. The way your neck craned to the side a bit, reminding him of when he littered marks and bruises all over last week. The way you subtly bit your lip in concentration but all that clouded his mind was lust remembering how you looked so pretty from above when he was settled between your legs.

He wanted you again so badly. He wasn't going to lie, it sort of hurt him when he woke up and you weren't there. He thought maybe there was something between you two, god knows the tension was overwhelming that night. You weren't the most frisky woman he'd been with but you were sweet; slight innocence with your intimacy. He craved you.

Steve leaned towards you, his fingers twiddling with yours. You tried your best to ignore his advances despite how much you equally craved him. He ran his nose along your cheek and jaw and your breathing quickened inhumanly.

"What are you doing?" you whispered.

"Nothing, just relax," he responded. As much as he wanted to drag you out of class and fuck you so good, he knew you'd rip him a new one if he did. No matter how he'd make you feel.

"No, we're in the middle of a lecture," you argued.

"I'm not doing anything," he said humorously, you were not humored though.

"Steve," you scolded when he pressed a faint kiss under your ear.

You knew a guy like Steve was horny practically twenty-four seven, but you didn't take him to be quite clingy. Especially with someone like you. His arm wrapped under yours. His other resting on your thigh. His head tucked in the crook of your neck. It wasn't particularly sexual, but it was intimate. Something normal to couples, and you two were not a couple.

"Please come tonight," he whispered, “If not I’ll come over.”

"Ugh fine," you grunted, your voice breaking into a giggle because you did somewhat enjoy this unfamiliar attention.

Steve continued to sit next to you during the rest of your classes for the day absent mindedly teasing you, playing with your fingers, twirling your hair between his fingers, leaning his head on your shoulder while he held your hand. Like geez, take a girl out already.

By the time you got back to your shared apartment with two of your closest friends you felt conflicted. Why the sudden shift in Steve? You two weren't exactly best friends before, just two people who shared classes and accidentally slept with each during a drunken night at a frat party.

"Hey, everything ok?" Wanda asked you noticing your inner battle.

"Uh, yeah. Kinda. No," you said defeatedly making the girls chuckle.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"That guy, that I… you know."

"Fucked?"

"Nat!" you said embarrassed.

"Go on," Wanda encouraged.

"Well, I never told you guys but the guy was Steve," you said shyly.

"What!" the girls exclaimed simultaneously.

"You're lying," Nat laughed.

"You really went from zero to a hundred," Wanda giggled.

"Guys stop," you whined.

"All day today, he's been like super clingy. Holding my hand and pretending he's like my boyfriend."

"Wait, I thought you liked him?" Nat asked, confused.

"I mean I do, but it's sudden and I'm pretty sure it's only because he wants to get in my pants again, you know?" you rationed.

"Awe, I don't think that's true. I've known Steve for a bit and yeah he sleeps around sometimes but he's not a giant dick. Doing that would be way too shallow, especially for Steve," Nat said.

“Yeah but don’t you think it’s weird?” you asked.

“Look did Bucky ask you about tonight?” Nat asked.

“Yeah, he did- how do you know that?” you asked, confused.

“Oh- Uh,” Nat paused.

“She asked Buck to invite you,” Wanda snickered.

“Why?” you asked.

“Well, you never go out with us and the last time you did we thought you just went home but apparently you were getting laid,” Nat cackled.

“Oh my- shut up,” you huffed before storming off to your room.

“Wait! Can you at least come with us tonight?” Wanda followed you.

“No,” you giggled.

“Please!” both girls said at the same time. As you closed your door with a grin on your face not responding.

Hours later you laid on your bed lowly listening to the soft rumbling chaos from your comedic roommates. You stayed in your not so sexy undergarments and not so sexy sweatpants along with a hoodie you stole from your brother before you moved.

You ate the junk you’ve stocked up on the past few weeks feeling a bit glum. It’s not that you didn’t necessarily want to go, you would love to spend another night in that gorgeous man’s arms but there’s absolutely no way Steve is gonna want you the way you’d like him too. Not sober.

There was a subtle knock on your door and you called out knowing the girls were probably ready to leave.

"How do we look?" Nat asked, walking into your room with Wanda.

"Wow, you guys look hot," you said sitting up.

"You think Vis would like this or is it too much?" Wanda asked sheepishly, she's had a crush on the foreign exchange student Vis for the longest time and had yet to make a move.

"I think someone's gonna have a lucky night," you wiggled your brows suggestively, making her roll her eyes and blush.

"What about you, still chasing Bryce?" you turned to Nat looked extra sexy tonight.

"His name is Bruce," she rolled her eyes.

"And yes, I am," she chuckled.

"You're so weird," you giggled, Bruce didn't seem to particularly be Nat's type but hey, no judgement.

"I heard he's got like a monster cock," you said.

"Shut up," she pushed you playfully.

“It’s always the nerds,” Wanda giggled.

"Anyways, are you sure you don't want to come?" Wanda asked sincerely.

"I'm sure," you smiled.

"Steve's gonna miss you," Nat teased.

"Yeah, I doubt that."

"Well, stay safe, cutie," the girls waved heading to the Uber that waited outside for them.

"You too!"

You sighed before grabbing more snacks to stuff your face with. A couple hours went by of sitting around watching nonsense on TV for a bit. You ate dinner that was far from fine dining but it was available before slouching on your bed until the late hours of the night.

You were practically falling asleep, tired and dry eyes glued to the screen of your small TV when you got a knock at the front door. You check the clock by your bed wondering if maybe either of the girls left their keys, but it wasn’t even midnight yet.

You clutched your phone walking hastily to the front door as quietly as possible creeping up to the peehole to see who would be your unexpected guest.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you swung the door open.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Steve retorted.

“My jamas,” you rolled eyes stepping to side to let him in.

“Seriously what are you doing here?”

“I told you earlier, you didn’t come tonight so I came to you,” he said, taking his jacket off.

“Seriously?” you tried not to smile, but the action gave you butterflies.

“You promised to come. I missed you,” he said walking up to you.

“You’re so full of shit,” you giggled, staring at his devilishly handsome grin.

“Come on, whatcha doing?” he said, grabbing your hand and taking you to the room. You three had a fairly small apartment and your light was obviously the only one on in the whole apartment making it easy for him.

“Well, before you rudely invaded my home, I was stuffing my face with all kinds of junk watching TV,” you said to him making him scowl playfully at you.

“Well, then let’s finish the rest of your junk food then,” he said laying on your bed. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the sudden shift in attention. Steve was a guy who could have anyone and he’s chasing you for some reason.

You weren’t a blonde bombshell with a perfect hourglass figure that made guys want you left and right. You had flaws that drew people away and you don’t think Steve remembers that night like you do. What if he hates your body? What if he thinks you're annoying and suddenly leaves?

“Everything alright?” Steve asked you.

“Uh, sorta,” you answered honestly.

“Come here, talk to me,” he said, opening his arms. You couldn't help your eyes narrowing at him.

“What?”

“Do you even remember anything from that night?” you whispered.

“Where’s this coming from?” he asked.

“Steve, come on,” you chuckled.

“What?”

“Do you just wanna fuck now? Make it quick so you can go back to the party-”

“Woah, who said anything about fucking?” he stood up towering over you making you suddenly feel really small and shy.

“I mean that’s why you’re here, right?”

“I came because I told you if you didn't go out with us that I was gonna hang with you. I didn’t say anything about sleeping with you. If you really want I can go home but I wanted to hang out with you,” he said sincerely.

“Oh, I- uh,” you stuttered; well now you feel like a dick.

“We can just sit and keep watching TV until you want to go to sleep and I can head out,” he said, sitting back down on your bed. You sat beside him carefully watching his movements. He kept his eyes trained on the TV for a bit before locking his eyes with yours. You turned away quickly hearing him chuckle before sudden movement escalated behind.

Steve grabbed you from behind gently and leaned back so you laid on his chest. You could feel the hard plains of muscles on your back. And the way his strong wrapped perfectly around your waist, it felt heavenly.

Steve’s jaw tightened from the hypnotizing scent of your shampoo. He remembered it from that night not long ago and he couldn’t get it out of his head.

He wasn't going to lie, since that night all he could think about was how smooth your skin was under his fingertips. How pretty you sounded when he was settled between your legs. How good it felt when your fingers carded through his hair. He wanted you so bad.

He wanted to wake you up between your thighs again. Ravish you once more before breakfast, hell eat you for breakfast. But when you weren't there sleeping as peacefully beside him like the night before, his heart tugged. Did he say something wrong? Did he do something wrong? What if he hurt you?

He gave you space, clearly evident you hadn't wanted to talk to him but those few days went by and the same lingering stares and shy glances came back again and he craved you in his arms again.

When Nat asked him and Bucky to invite you again out to party, he really wanted to be with you that night even if you didn't end the night naked in each other's arms, just being around you was enough for him. Fortunately here he is with you, with arms wrapped around your waist and Steve couldn’t be happier.

You looked so fucking adorable to wearing sweats and a hoodie; he wishes it was one of his own. You had fluffy socks on too that had dog faces on them and he swears his heart melted. What you two were watching was making you laugh and each chuckle or giggle that came from you was like music to his ears.

He couldn’t help himself when his lips pressed against the top of your head. Your body momentarily froze before relaxing again in his arms. Your arms laid over his and tightened so you could cuddle into him even more. Your eyes felt heavy and the feeling of Steve’s lips slowly reaching your neck didn’t help you want to sleep.

When his cool lips grazed your burning skin, you could feel your skin burst into chills. You practically shuddered in his arms and your face grew hot when you did. It all becomes suddenly overwhelming and you jump off on his lap turning to him with a distressed expression.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?” Steve said worriedly.

“You did just want to sleep with me,” you mumbled tears forming in your eyes.

“What! No, that’s not it,” he panicked; using you was the last thing he wanted you to think he was doing, and wanted in general.

“Then what’s going with you? Ever since we fucked you’re suddenly attached to me, putting your hands all over me, pretending like you're my boyfriend! And I don’t understand why,” you said frustrated.

“I feel like your just using me or something-”

“That is the last thing I want,” he interrupted, his voice low.

“Then why are you doing this; Steve you could have anybody and for some fucking sick reason you keeping mocking me. Making me think I have a chance.”

“And you don’t think you do?” he asked, heart broken, making you scoff and turn away.

“Look, fine I’ll admit that maybe before that night I wouldn’t have made a move; but I’m gonna admit that I haven’t not felt something for you before,” he said, getting closer to you.

“What?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since we met. And that night didn’t do shit to help me get over you,” he chuckled.

You crawled to him carefully looking into his eyes for any sign that he was being untruthful; you cupped his face gently.

“Are you drunk?” you whispered.

“Not one bit.”

You pressed your lips to his feverishly and Steve nearly moaned at the feeling. His hands grasped your waist firmly pulling you to sit comfortably on his lap. His hands crept under your hoodie holding you close.

Your hands rested on his broad shoulders holding yourself up as slowly leaned back onto your pillows. Your cold hands cupped his face as you deepened the kiss and his hand went to rest on your bottom.

With this new found position, his chest pressed against yours, his hips grinded up allowing you to feel all of him. Every pushing second you grew needier and whiny, practically clawing at his shirt to feel his skin.

"So needy already. And I've hardly touched you," he chuckled lowly in your ear.

He sat up nonetheless and stripped his shirt revealing his gorgeous physique that kept you up at night and infiltrated your dirtiest dreams. You brushed your hands all over his chest with your bottom lip between your teeth; Steve smirking slightly proud of the effect he had on you simply by having his shirt off.

"Come on, pretty girl. I wanna see you too," he's whispered before kissing you softly.

"Wait, I don't…" you didn't particularly feel very sexy and instantly became insecure about your body compared to Steve's.

"It's ok, we can cuddle," he smiled.

"Well, if I'm being honest I do want you. It's just, I just ate all this junk food and I'm not wearing anything sexy. I didn't shave and-"

"Hey, I don't care. You don't need to impress me or wear anything special for me. I just want you to look pretty sitting on my face and make pretty sounds telling me how I'm gonna make you feel."

Your body trembled at his words, arousal instantly flooding from you. His nose brushed against your cheek dragging along to your jawline before pressing kisses gingerly to your jaw and neck. His hands slowly lifted your hoodie and you raised your hands letting him remove your hoodie.

Your shoulders caved in out of habit, being topless in front of handsome men wasn't normally on your schedule; but the look in Steve's eyes, the look on his face holding a hungry and adorning expression made you more comfortable, reaching out to cup his face kissing him deeply.

You sighed breathlessly into the kiss as Steve's hands rubbed your sides. You pulled away momentarily only to put your lips on Steve's neck. Steve felt himself growing harder and needier to see you, feel you, pleasure you.

"Pretty girl, I need you. Lemme taste you, please," he whined.

He picked you up and laid down on your back to pull your sweatpants down your legs. You lifted your hips for him and he smiled cheekily at you biting his lip. Steve lifted your leg kissing the inside of your calf staring at with those hungry eyes.

"I still wanna see you sitting on my face, pretty girl," Steve said, pulling to him.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna crush you or anything," you whispered, making Steve chuckle.

Steve laid down assuring you that he wanted this and grabbed your hand helping you straddle his face. When you did Steve kissed the inside of your thighs playfully nipping and marking the sensitive skin making you gasp.

Steve wrapped his hands around your thighs bringing your center impossibly close to him, finally licking a long and wet stripe up your slit. Your moans were soft at first but when Steve started circling his tongue around your clit, you could help getting louder and bucking your hips grinding on his face.

Steve’s eyes were close relishing in your sex. You combed your fingers through his hair and Steve moaned loudly against your pussy. He dipped his tongue past your folds and that along with the vibrations from his beautiful moans, you head threw back moaning in pure ecstasy, moaning so loud your neighbors were definitely going to file a complaint.

“Fuck, Steve. Your mouth feels so good; shit!” you whined.

His tongue circled your clit again quicker this time and you bucked your hips, tightening your stomach and squeezing your legs as you approached your high. Steve kneaded the soft flesh of your ass lapping up everything you gave him.

Steve crawled from under you as you held onto the headboard, still standing on your knees, trying to catch your breath. Steve came up behind you rubbing your hips softly, kissing the back of your neck softly. He quickly rid the remaining of his clothes he still wore, his painfully hard cock slapping against his stomach desperate for some sort of attention.

You breathe softly, hyper focused on the cum that slipped down your inner thighs. Your legs lightly trembled from just his mouth you couldn’t wait to feel what his cock would feel like, filling you up like it was only a week ago. Steve sat beside you looking at you with a soft smile on his face, his hand softly rubbing the back of your legs and your bottom too.

He reached around to grab your hip and slowly turned you around settling you between his legs; your back pressed against his chest as it was only moments before, more innocently than now. His lips sucked and kissed your neck as his hands cupped and kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts.

Your hands rested over his own and your hips squirmed a bit for eagerness. The low growl from Steve because your hips grinded against his cock was incredibly arousing.

“Such an eager little slut ain't cha’,” he grabbed your hair.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as he pushed you forward on your hands and knees.

“Want me to fuck you? Remind you how I felt buried so fucking deep inside you? God, I think about you every fucking night; how perfect you were wrapped around me, how beautiful you sounded underneath me,” he whispered huskily in your ear making you shudder.

“Stevie, please,” you whimpered.

His hands rubbed up and down your back as he chuckled darkly.

“Oh, I’ve been waiting to take care of you again, pretty girl,” he kissed your back softly.

He wrapped his hand around his cock slowly and languidly pumping it. He couldn’t help but tease slightly circled his tip along your entrance pulling desperate whines from you. He finally reached his own breaking point, unable to stand not being able to feel you so he pushed his hips forward moaning loudly at how tight you felt around him.

“So good, pretty girl,” he moaned.

“Fuck, Stevie. Filling me up so good; you’re so big,” you sighed.

“Damn right, pretty girl. Taking my cock so well. Fucking made for me,” he grunted.

His snapped in and out increasingly quicker with each thrust; the vulgar sounds of his movements and skin slapping against each other echoed loudly in the room. Harmonizing with both your pleasurable moans.

Chasing both your releases, Steve’s hips jerked rougher and harder in and out of you making you practically shriek at the feeling. He leaned forward wrapping his hand around your throat before pulling you flush against his chest.

“Such pretty baby,” he bit your ear.

“Fuck! Stevie I need to come,” you whined.

“Yeah, you want to come all over my cock? Make a fucking mess?” he growled.

“Please!”

“Hold on, pretty girl. I’m almost there,” he sighed, throwing his head back and closing his eyes in pleasure.

You whined and whimpered, tears brimming your eyes from that overwhelming feeling. You couldn’t help but clench hard around his cock desperately holding back for your release.

“Fuck, do that again, pretty girl,” Steve gasped.

“God, yes. I’m close, pretty girl. You ready to come?” he pulled your head back to look at your face.

Tears fell inelegantly down your cheeks, sweat lined your forehead, your chest moved rapidly up and down; to Steve, you looked ethereal.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Let go, pretty girl. I gotcha,” he whispered against your lips.

Your eyes rolled back as your body shook against Steve’s, releasing onto his dick profoundly. Steve swallowed your louds moans, roughly pressing his lips to yours, moaning himself. You clenched hard around Steve one last time feeling his throbbing cock shoot hot ribbons of cum, coating your walls.

When you eased your way slowly down from your high, Steve laid you down gently pulling out to see his cum mixed with yours spilling from you. You looked so fucked out breathing heavily, whimpering at the loss of Steve inside you. He wanted to, but held back from taking you again. But not wanting to hurt you, he treaded towards the bathroom and turned on the water to run you two a hot bath. He picked you up gently pressing kisses all over your face and neck before planting one delicious kiss on your lips; your hands reaching around his neck to deepen it if that was even possible.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, coating your arms with soap to wash you. You laid against him with your eyes closed desperately trying not to fall asleep in his arms.

“I didn’t hurt you?” he asked softly.

“Mh-m,” you shook your head slightly with a blissful smile on your face.

“Good,” he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing you passionately.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, barely audibly.

“For coming to hang out with me tonight,” you chuckled. Your eyes felt too heavy, simply remembering the way he carried you carefully back to your bed and held for the rest of the night.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@wandanatasha0720

[band-of-bitches]

Heyhey again, thank you sooo much for taking my request. It's my first time reaching out to someone here :) 

So, I'm 5'3, pale skin, dark brown hair by the waist with some curls and dyed red at the ends and I have dark brown eyes. My body is like a triangle (nice hips, zero tiddies lmao) I'm an INTP, introvert, I have slight anger issues and ADHD. I love to be alone, some people say I'm intelligent and a good leader. I'm not very good at showing my feelings but I care a lot, (I try to look tough and careless, but I'm a softie.) I have one or two friends and I normally act shy but with the people I feel safe and trust I can be pretty funny and blunt. (I curse A LOT) Also, I would say black and dark red is my palette. I read a lot, I'm a writer, I study History and Literature, and I'm always listening to music (Chase Atlantic is my fav band.) <3

You met George at a concert. To be specific, a Chase Atlantic concert. You both were at barricade somehow and you caught George’s eye immediately with how loud and happy were were, screaming and dancing like no one was near you. George forgot where he was for a moment a he locked in on you, the world going quiet as he decided “that one.” After the concert he ran after you, you and your friends laughing as he asked for your number. You almost didn’t, but went “Why the fuck not” and the rest is history.

You and Luz are THE adhd couple. You two can talk for hours about a certain topic, change gears, talk another hour all without realizing that it’s now lunch and you’re late for your class (oops.) You love it though, because he understands when you forget things or doesn’t listen and will always let you ramble and get all excited without judgment. You, of course, are the same for him.

At the beginning of the relationship you got angry a lot. You didn’t know how to talk to him sometimes and you hated that instead of talking through things you’d end up yelling and cursing. Thankfully, George is an understanding guy. He knew you never meant to be rude, so often he would just hug you, let the anger simmer as he held you until you realized he wasn’t going to break up with you because of one tiny argument. When you two got to know each other better and you became more comfortable, it stopped being a problem. You never laughed as hard with anybody in your laugh, you two often dying from laughter at an inside joke or something stupid that left your friends confused. 

You love to be alone, but you love to be alone together. George will help you study by asking you to explain parts of history, or the recent text you’re studying. In a bed you’ll usually sit and talk about a topic while George lays next to you or even on top of you, just listening to your voice.  Sometimes he falls asleep, allowing you to smile and run a hand through his hair. You’ll usually read some more or do something else that doesn’t require much movement. These are things you usually do alone, but you’ll allow a little company as long as it’s George.

[angstymarshmallow]

How about Zig x MC and Drake x MC for the Shipping Break Down? Lol! I'm just curious how MC will tame these bad boys' wild hearts! 😆❤️🙌🏼💋

Heyoo darling @peepeetah since you and the lovelyHannah @losrchester requested my ship breakdown for Zig x MC, I’ll do them right here! Alsolink here for the Drake x MC . Hopeit’s okay that I use my MC’s.

·       How did they they meet? In thecoffee shop Dia and her friends often went to whenever they wanted to hang outbefore or after classes. Zig’s eyes had caught hers over the crowded shop and shehad sunk right into them. Claire was the reason for them actually meeting, ifit hadn’t been for her needlessly flirting with Zig Dia wouldn’t have marchedup there and pretended to be his girlfriend. The only thing they thanked Clairefor lmao.

·       Who developed romantic feelings first? Theyboth fell for each other rather quickly. Their relationship has always beenpassionate and fast, but Zig is usually more open with his feelings thanDia even if he couldn’t always express in words how much she means to him. When he realized he cared more about her more than some kind of casualfling; he mentioned it in the little things he did like remembering her favourite coffee order or picking her up for a late night out. It scared her for awhile when she realized that their feelings could be more than just a casual thing and eventually she admitted to herself that shecared deeply for him too.

·       Who is their biggest “shipper?” Zackis. While everyone else had been busy with having second thoughts about them,;(they thought they were a flame that would burn out too quickly), Zackhad always thought Zig was a good for her; like she’d met her match.

·       When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? They had their first kiss in Zig’s favourite dive bar in Hartfeld. Theywere playing pool and Dia was showing off her superb skills when he helped her with anincredible tough shot. His hands had been soft when they touched her, warm and familiar. She knewbefore turning around that they weren’t going to be playing pool for muchlonger after that. Things had gotten really steamy pretty quickly, and theirfirst kiss had ended as their first hook-up together.

·       Who confessed their feelings first? Zig confessedhis feelings when he asked Dia to become his girlfriend at the end of thespring quarter dance. Before then, they had danced around the topic, neverreally admitting their feelings. Dia hadn’t expected to care so much for him,but she’d fallen so fast and so deep that she hadn’t hesitated when he askedher.

·       What was their first official date? Theirfirst official date was babysitting Gabriel’s son Rico together. Dia has neverbeen really good with kids; apart from the brothers she knew growing up (andthey seem to smell her fear). She asked him to help out and he joked about itbeing a date. She strictly told him it wasn’t but on the inside; she had been smilingbecause she’d considered it just that without thinking.  She was pleasantly surprised to find out hewas really great with kids; that’s when he began opening up about his sisters andhow much he had to pitch in in taking care of them. She admired how effortlesslyRico and him had bonded; until he gave Rico back to her and all she did waspanic when he tried to teach her how to change a diaper.

·       How do they feel about double dates/group dates? Dia prefers being alone over double dates/group dates. She’s stillgetting accustomed to the whole trusting people thing and group dates provideher with the opportunity to do si. Zig likes spending time with her and althoughhe also prefers to do so alone, he doesn’t mind group dates either. They feed offeach other’s energy and turn any night into something fun.

·       What do they do in their down time? Dia spends a lot of time sketching, mostly about tattoo ideas and whenthey’re alone, she secretly sketches Zig. Especially in those rare moments whenhe falls asleep first. Then she takes the time to really appreciate and studyevery detail of him. She hides her sketches though, she’s embarrassed by theidea of him finding them (little does she know, he’s actually seen them all andknows all her hiding spots). She’s also pretty fond of dancing and in theirdown time teaches Zig to be more comfortable with dancing. When Zig isn’t atpractice or working; he’s busy trying to find new hobbies. When they’re bothenjoying down time, they ride his motorcycle.

·       What was the first meeting of parentsas an official couple like?  Dia’s mom thoughtZig was the sweetest gentleman she’d ever met. Especially since she has neverbrought anyone home before; her mom took a liking to him nearly immediately. Zigcharmed her with stories of his sisters and mom, and didn’t hesitate inoffering help the minute he saw she needed any. It also helps that he got alongwith Dia’s brothers pretty well. Her father had some reservations about him onthe other hand, but grew to respect him once they found common interests that weresafe talk about. Zig’s mother and sisters adored her after the small period ofbeing very possessive about Zig. They quickly treated her like one of their own(especially after hearing so much about Dia from him). His mother evenembarrassed him by sharing old family photos and stories with of a younger Zig.Even though Dia had felt slightly out of place and uncomfortable by howfamiliar they were with her, she grew to love them back really quickly.

·       What was their first fight over and howdid they get past it? Their first fight had been oversomething silly. It was right after the more honeymoon stage of their relationship;a guy had said something to Dia after making a move on her and Zig had been pretty quick to shoot himdown. Dia argued that she hadn’t needed him to step in and then they spent thenext half an hour arguing about their relationship while driving back toHartfeld.

·       Which one is more easily made jealous? Theyboth are pretty possessive because of how fond they are of each other. More soin Dia’s case; people seem to gravitate towards Zig whether it’s giving him a simpleonce over or approaching him and the way people approach him makes her reallypossessive. It’s not his fault, he’s naturally charming and fun to get to know, but she’s mostly affectionate in public when she’sjealous..

·       What is their favourite thing to get to eat? They enjoy take out food, since they’re both usually too busy to reallyspend time cooking. Their favourites ranges from seafood to the best burgerjoint in Hartfeld.

·       Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position? Zig’s the cuddly one. It doesn’t take much for him to put an arm aroundher or hook his arm around her waist; or even brush a kiss by her temple orlips, and sometimes the affection leaves Dia flustered. She isn’t touchy-feelybut she has no problem expressing how much he means to her in private; then she’snearly as bad as he is. Their favourite cuddling position is probably afterthey’ve long been exhausted and Zig tucks one arm around her. It’s her favourite postion; makes her feel safe enoughfor her to snuggle close and rest her chin on his chest.

·       Are they hand holders? Holding hands is pretty natural to them. It helps them to keep their hands off each other and sneak off whenthey’re in public. Plus it’s the most PDA Dia allows unless he sneaks in aquick kiss every now and then to the point where it’senough to make her forget they’re in public).

·       How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time?What’s the circumstances? There’s no waiting. Themoment they’ve had the chance to during that night at Zig’s favour dive bar,they leapt at the opportunity; eager to resolve the tension that oozed betweenthem.

·       Who tops? Circumstantial since they both havepretty dominant personalities. It really just depends on their mood. When theyfight; they try to get the upper hand on each other and then sometimes it turnsinto playful wrestling. Other times, Dia loves being on the bottom just so shecan rake her fingers across his back.

·       What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into? When both of their temper flares up, there’s usually a lot of shoutingand no playful banter. The worst fight they have can lead into something more. The first time it ended in a short break up withdoors slamming and tears.

·       Who does the shopping and the cooking? They indulge in junk food every now and then but on the weekends theyinvest in learning to cook something together. Zig prefers to be in chargesince he’s had to do quite a bit of cooking before moving out. His sistersnever complained about his cooking and he likes having his hands busy. Diabegrudgingly shops for the stuff he’ll need and sometimes even helps out afterwatching him cook for awhile.

·       Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? Dia is pretty self-conscious about having everything tidy and neat. Zigisn’t messy by any means but if Dia’s ever over his dorm and anything is carelesslydiscarded, it gives her anxiety.

·       Who proposes? Zig proposes, but after having Dia’sparents blessing. He knows she isn’t one for any show ofextravagance and does it simply on a night when they’re out alone on hismotorcycle. She pretty much bursts into tears as soon as he gets on hisknees.  Dia rarely ever cries. But she’snever been so happy at seeing someone on their knees before and knowing it’s becauseZig loves and cherishes her made her very emotional.

·       Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? Joined. Dia likes to party and party hard and Zig doesn’t mind as longas he’s in the mood. Their joint party was spent knocking a lot of hard liquor, lots of dancing fromall of their practiced sessions being put to work and then sneaking off to bealone. Dia still doesn’t remember the whole of that night, Zig remembersholding her hair hours later as she threw up.

·       Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? Zack’s Dia’s man of honour because he’s been her best friend since her Hartfelddays.; through thick and thin. Chris’ is Zig’s best man, followed by Abbie,Tyler and James – and two or three other friends from their respective andseparate circles as apart of the bridal party.

·       Big Ceremony or Small? Diapreferred a small ceremony except Zig’s and her family are big on weddings. Theydon’t allow them to have one and more than once Dia threatened to elope withhim. Zig calmed her without fail, calling it ‘pre-wedding jitters’ and remindedher their honeymoon night would be more than worth it, a night she’d neverforget. He was of course right.

·      ��Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  They spend three weeks away from their friends and family, touring the top 5 places on theirbucket list. They flood social media with cute selfies and pictures of themposing near pyramids, museums and long trails across Greece, Italy and a couple of other places on their list.

·       Do they have children? How many? Notright away, Dia and Zig want to be pretty far in their careers before makingthat kind of commitment. Eventually, they’ll have a baby girl and a baby boy. 

Whew, I thought about this one for so long because they’re really dear to me. Thanks so much for asking! @peepeetah @losrchester 💕

Edit: And thanks to the anon whom also requested Zig x MC! 💕